00:38:40.640We're all different at and what's at the root of it, right?
00:38:45.760It's like how you're raised and how you, what, what, what example you saw between your mom
00:38:51.000and dad and how they communicated and how did they address things and, and how it was supported.
00:38:55.900You know, if, if you, if you were, if you shared your feelings and they were always mocked, well, of course, then you're going to be less likely to share your feelings, you know?
00:39:06.260So, so it really comes down to a lot of it, I think has to do with just our personalities, innate personalities, but also how those behaviors were supported from your family and your friends from the time you were little.
00:39:21.280Like I don't get your patience thing at all.
00:39:23.900You're not, you're, cause you're patient.
00:39:27.000Well, I wouldn't say I'm patient, but it's not like, you know, it's not like I'm getting frustrated staring at the desk cause the stains not dry yet.
00:46:04.640Happy and glad of where I am right now.
00:46:06.500Yeah, I think one of the things a lot of veterans deal with is they have a real sense of purpose and direction and clarity with regards to their military service.
00:46:15.640And then when they're done, it's like, what now?
00:46:18.480And if I could give one bit of advice to any veteran, I would say you have to find your next mission, your next battle, your next mission, your next target, whatever term you want to use.
00:46:28.400But you had a mission before and you were very tied to it and you wrapped up your identity in it.
00:46:33.240And that's part of the problem is that you were a soldier or you were a Marine or you were an airman or you were a sailor, whatever.
00:46:40.740So you wrapped up your identity in it.
00:46:42.720And now that that's gone, your identity is gone because it's a package deal.
00:46:49.320So what you need to do is you need to find a new identity and be careful of wrapping up yourself in a new identity moving forward.
00:46:55.760But you do need to find another mission that you can be excited about and be purposeful about.
00:47:01.020This is why I think military members make great entrepreneurs because they can tie themselves to something that's deeply, deeply meaningful and then have this target fixation and have the discipline and dedication and sacrifice and commitment to see things through to the end.
00:47:19.140But you got to find what that mission is going to be.
00:47:44.100I'm sure there's a bit or a speech or something he gives on it.
00:47:47.080I think I've seen moments and clips of it but I would definitely agree that there is a softening and an overall feminization of society.
00:47:54.740And unfortunately, it's producing less than stellar results for ourselves, specifically with regards to men.
00:48:01.660And if you look at metrics of men compared to women, it's actually – it should be pretty alarming from college entry to grades that we're receiving to jobs that we're now securing.
00:48:17.300And it's not that women are taking jobs from men.
00:48:23.760And the reason that we're underperforming is because we're weak and we're soft and we're pathetic or at least we're trending that way.
00:48:32.200And unfortunately, the only thing that's going to reverse that unless we voluntarily decide to reverse it ourselves is some catastrophic event where we're required to step up.
00:48:41.580Where you have to step up or you will die or there will be some catastrophic loss or something in your life that will happen if you don't step up.
00:48:50.540Sometimes we operate best when our backs are against the wall because we prove ourselves capable of doing things that we didn't know we could do.
00:48:57.380And we've never been tested like that.
00:48:59.400This is why I say we have to place ourselves under voluntary hardship from getting up early and going to the gym to saying yes to the things that scare us to taking on more responsibility to exerting ourselves and pushing harder than we have physically, mentally, emotionally.
00:49:14.880These are the ways that we harden and strengthen ourselves in an overall softening of society.
00:49:21.460And that's actually part of the problem is we aren't required to be a man anymore.
00:49:26.880A hundred years ago, 150, 500, a thousand years ago, men were required to be men because they would die or members of the tribe would die.
00:49:34.880But you aren't required to be a man anymore.
00:49:36.860In fact, you're encouraged not to be because it's significantly easier not to be the man.
00:49:42.940But the problem is, is that when we're faced with difficulty, we don't know how to handle it because we've never proven ourselves capable of doing it or made ourselves more capable of doing so.
00:49:53.120So in this day and age, you have to voluntarily decide if you're going to be a man.
00:49:58.740And when I say be a man, I'm, I'm talking about acting like a man is that there's a difference between males and men.
00:50:06.560A male is someone with the anatomy, the biology of man is that's a prerequisite, but a man is significantly more than that.
00:50:14.020And you have to decide today if you want to be that or not.
00:50:19.040So again, I don't know the entire bit, but I definitely think there's a weakening and a softening of society, which is a real shame.
00:50:26.420It also, it also poses a great opportunity because those of us who recognize it and reject it, adamantly reject it and step into strength are the ones that are going to receive all the spoils.
00:50:44.140We're going to get the happiness, the fulfillment, the strength, whatever, whatever you want.
00:50:48.380You're going to get it if you're stronger.
00:50:50.060And the weak ones will continue to cry and gripe about how other people are always lucky and why they can never catch a break.
00:50:57.720And they'll try to advocate and legislate these, these things like equality and of income and giving all these weak people all the benefits that they haven't earned.
00:51:11.140The strong people are always going to receive those benefits because they've earned them.
00:51:17.780Or they're going to take them from the weak.
00:51:20.120If you, if you have a strong man who's not moral and noble, he's going to steal from the weak.
00:51:26.520So we have an obligation to be two things, strong and capable and moral.
00:51:33.180Because we're not, I'm not advocating for taking from the weak.
00:51:36.960I'm advocating for growing and expanding and leveling up your position in life and then defending the weak from those who are strong but not moral.
00:51:47.520Don't be weak is the moral of the story.
00:52:58.920And that would be outside of your arranged visit times or whatever circumstance you have worked out.
00:53:03.660I don't know the intricacies of your situation, but I think if you can be amicable towards your ex and their mother, uh, and, and have a good relationship and trust me, a lot of that is on you.
00:53:14.180Now I know there's some, some, some vengeful women out there who just, who want nothing more than to tear your life apart.
00:53:21.800I think that's probably exception rather than the rule, but I definitely think there's things that you can do to improve that situation.
00:53:27.640So that coming back to our previous question, you can utilize your tools effectively to produce outcomes, which is seeing your kids being involved in their lives.
00:53:37.160So, you know, if it's limited, see them together, spend time with them together, and then see if there's some things that you can do outside of that.
00:53:43.560To get some one-on-one time between visiting them every couple of weeks or whatever it may be.
00:53:49.300You might have some other situations, Kip, because you're, you're a little closer to the situation than I am.
00:53:55.660I, the only thing I could think is even, even if you have a, an ex spouse that is very bitter still, it is really surprising how often, um, she might be willing to have you help.
00:54:10.540So, even though it's not part of the quote-unquote arrangement of custody, um, she's going to move on.
00:54:18.600You being able to grab the kids for the night, don't make it a legal thing.
00:54:23.660Um, like you're already alluding to, Ryan, you know, see if you can take Timmy out for the weekend, you know, or for the night and go grab some ice cream.
00:54:30.460Um, and have date nights during the week and, and that helps her because she's going to be struggling.
00:54:35.900She's going to be in a tough spot where now all of a sudden she's hitting, being hit with the reality of being a single mother, um, and trying to pull that out on her own.
00:54:44.540And so, um, look at, look for it as an opportunity to help her in her situation and, and use that to take advantage of some additional time with the kids.
00:54:53.040Um, just don't make it, see it come, come from the angle of helping her, not from the angle of like, I want more time and they're my kids too.
00:55:07.520There's time to fight, fight when that time is, yeah.
00:55:10.800Um, but when the fighting's over and, and the courts, unfortunately, have probably decided on your behalf in regards to how much you should see your kids now look for opportunities to help her and then use those opportunities to spend more time with your kids.
00:56:19.440You cannot be, you cannot have a parent and love your parent and have someone else speak ill of them and not be a child and have that reflect back on who you are.
00:56:34.660I mean, think about the last time somebody started to gossip to you about an individual and you said, Oh, this person's really building authority and trust in my mind by complaining.
00:56:43.860You think you start thinking ill of them.
00:57:00.620Should a person only invest in one financial, large, well-known financial company like Edward Jones or an invest in a company like Edward Jones and other small companies too, such as don't put all your eggs in one basket.
00:57:13.580Well, you're not really investing in Edward Jones unless you're purchasing Edward Jones stock.
00:57:19.860So that's what we need to, we need to separate that.
00:57:26.640You can work with an Edward Jones financial advisor and they're going to advise you to invest in a portfolio.
00:57:33.040That's hopefully going to be broadly diversified amongst hundreds, if not thousands of individual stocks.
00:57:39.920So let's, let's make sure we're using the right terms here.
00:57:42.740If you only use Edward Jones, I think that's fine as long as they have a well-diversified portfolio for you.
00:57:50.820So you are not putting all your eggs in one basket.
00:57:54.560I think sometimes it could be a mistake if we're using your, your story here to invest with an Edward Jones advisor and then have a Merrill Lynch advisor over here on the side.
00:58:05.500I think that could potentially cause some problems because there's some obvious conflicts of interest there.
00:58:12.080And, and what you have with Edward Jones may not jive with Merrill Lynch and what you have at Merrill Lynch may not jive with Edward Jones.
00:58:17.500And so you've got this like competing and conflicting situation.
00:58:21.700I would say the better route is if you're going to work with a financial advisor, find somebody who's reputable, find someone that you trust, get some referrals and introductions, interview these individuals and find a advisor, a advisor, one advisor who you can work with and cover all of those stock market based investment needs.
00:58:44.100Now you might have a real estate agent who helps you with some real estate transactions.
00:58:48.100You might have a business coach who helps you invest in your own business or something else.
00:58:54.100But as far as the stock market goes, I think it's best to find one advisor who you have a good relationship with, who, who will do a good job for you.
00:59:02.400And then invest your, your, uh, your portfolio wisely and, and broadly as well.