Order of Man - Striking the Balance Between Performance and Service, Constant Personal Communication, and Time Blocking in the Buffers

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.720 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.140 Sean, what's up, brother? Good to have you back.

00:00:26.940 Two times in, what, three weeks now, I think it is, or three or four weeks?

00:00:30.580 Yeah. On a roll here.

00:00:33.000 Kip, he felt a little bad about us making fun of him, but he said, you know, he can hang.

00:00:38.680 He can handle it. So we won't pick on him today. We'll leave him alone.

00:00:43.140 I think he's vacationing with his family right now, so we'll let him do his thing.

00:00:49.240 Vacation in peace.

00:00:50.600 When you have a spike in views, you just got to roll with it, right?

00:00:54.440 With having you on, you mean?

00:00:56.460 Yeah.

00:00:57.360 Oh, for sure. 100%.

00:00:58.880 That's actually, if you guys want to know the truth, I asked Kip to take a vacation from the podcast to have Sean back on it.

00:01:08.920 Regardless, man, it's good to have you here.

00:01:10.900 I got a lot of good feedback when you came on a couple of weeks ago.

00:01:14.520 A lot of good responses, and people reached out and messaged me.

00:01:18.160 So it has been good to have you here.

00:01:20.480 But let's get right into the questions today, because we've got a lot of good ones.

00:01:23.960 And I think, let's see, these ones are coming from the Iron Council.

00:01:27.140 Guys, by the way, let me throw this out here real quick.

00:01:29.680 If you don't know what the Iron Council is, or you've been sitting on the fence for some time now,

00:01:36.020 make sure you check it out, because we are going to be opening up in about two weeks.

00:01:41.200 So middle of March, we're going to open it up, and we'll probably only have it open for a week or two,

00:01:48.700 depending on how many people get enrolled.

00:01:50.160 So if you want to know, just go to orderaman.com slash Iron Council,

00:01:54.200 and you'll get the update, and you'll be the first to be notified.

00:01:57.180 So orderaman.com slash Iron Council.

00:01:59.520 Sean, that beer's looking pretty tight, man.

00:02:00.860 Did you get that thing cleaned up and trimmed up?

00:02:02.480 Because you're looking sharp.

00:02:04.260 I did.

00:02:04.660 I can't do that on my own yet.

00:02:06.360 I haven't figured it out.

00:02:07.540 But yeah, I found it.

00:02:08.180 Neither can I, clearly.

00:02:12.380 I can get the neckline pretty cleaned out, but anything up here, forget about it.

00:02:18.560 So I just let it roll.

00:02:19.380 So all right, man, let's get into the questions.

00:02:21.240 What's the first one today?

00:02:22.620 All right.

00:02:22.820 First one's from Bobby Katie says,

00:02:26.300 what's the most physically challenging thing you both have done in your life so far?

00:02:32.700 So I saw these questions beforehand, because I do try to be somewhat prepared, believe it or not.

00:02:37.180 My answers don't always lend to that, but I do try to be prepared for these things.

00:02:42.600 There's two things that immediately came to mind.

00:02:45.240 One was a short-term event, and other was a long-term part of my life.

00:02:50.320 So, uh, the most physically demanding event or activity that I've ever done, uh, was thing.

00:02:59.800 Yeah.

00:03:00.420 Thing.

00:03:01.000 Yeah.

00:03:01.440 I would say it would be the Spartan and gogi.

00:03:03.500 So that's a 60 hour endurance event and yeah, it's, it's designed to just break you down.

00:03:11.440 Um, and I can't remember, we had 120 or so, I think participants.

00:03:16.800 And I think, gosh, I can't even remember.

00:03:20.440 We might've ended up with like 80 or so, 80 or 90s.

00:03:24.420 It seemed like 25 to 30% of the people dropped out of it.

00:03:28.820 Um, but yeah, that was a challenge.

00:03:30.340 60 hours of just getting your butt kicked.

00:03:32.260 A lot of people think of Spartan races as the racing portion of it, the running portion of it.

00:03:36.660 This one was a lot different.

00:03:38.020 There was a little bit of running here and there.

00:03:39.820 Uh, but we, we stayed up the whole 60 hours.

00:03:44.420 Uh, no, I think we got two hours of sleep in that 60 hour timeframe, which might've actually

00:03:49.380 been worse than getting no sleep.

00:03:52.160 Uh, and then we were pushing big hay bales up Hills in this muddy bog swamp going up and

00:04:00.420 down Hills, making makeshift, um, like, uh, like, uh, stretchers to carry people that were,

00:04:09.160 you know, wounded just so we could work that stuff out.

00:04:12.600 Um, we ate, we ate bugs.

00:04:14.840 Like I ate mealworms and earthworms.

00:04:18.380 Have you ever eaten either of those?

00:04:20.680 No.

00:04:21.880 Brutal dude.

00:04:22.920 Brutal.

00:04:25.280 We had a survival portion of the, of the class where, you know, they taught you different

00:04:30.160 plants and animals that you could eat if you needed to.

00:04:33.100 And yeah, earthworms, mealworms weren't bad.

00:04:36.260 Earthworms were disgusting.

00:04:38.240 Clearly.

00:04:39.160 Oh, um, that's like fear factor stuff.

00:04:41.580 You see that I like anything physically challenging.

00:04:44.340 I could care less, but when they have to eat bugs and stuff, yeah, nah, no way.

00:04:50.320 So that was tough.

00:04:51.300 And then the only other thing that I would say was, um, that was a little bit longer of

00:04:56.820 a timeframe.

00:04:57.560 Basic training was kind of challenging.

00:05:00.000 I guess that wasn't that bad though.

00:05:01.580 I'm trying to think back about it.

00:05:02.820 You know, that was 22 years ago.

00:05:05.380 It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

00:05:09.220 The guys that really struggled are the guys who never played sports or had a grown man

00:05:13.300 like a coach, for example, getting in their faces, yelling at them.

00:05:16.320 Um, but you know, that was four months, I guess it was two months for basic training.

00:05:20.360 And then another 10 weeks or eight weeks for AIT advanced individual training.

00:05:25.280 And, uh, the, the first, the first eight weeks are the hardest, but I don't remember being

00:05:31.760 so hard that I was, I just don't remember it being that hard, but that came to mind too.

00:05:37.000 Anyways, the Spartan gogi is what I would say.

00:05:38.780 How about you?

00:05:39.740 Maybe, maybe chasing you around Hawaii last year.

00:05:43.100 That was, I'm like, everywhere I look, Sean's like, sing, sing, sing.

00:05:46.600 I'm like, what in the world?

00:05:48.400 Like literally running circles around me.

00:05:51.040 It was awesome.

00:05:53.880 That mine actually is a little different.

00:05:56.280 Mine's, uh, I have still kind of tendonitis through both of my arms, both of my forearms.

00:06:05.520 And it got really bad at one point where I had to completely stop lifting.

00:06:10.340 And to, till this day, I still don't really lift, uh, in the normal sense of the word,

00:06:15.540 I guess you could say, um, most of the exercise that I do is more core type of stuff because

00:06:21.560 of that.

00:06:22.420 But the reason it was physically challenging is because I just had to change the way I

00:06:28.020 did everything.

00:06:29.880 Um, literally from, you know, even shooting my bow, uh, the way I lifted things.

00:06:36.480 Cause I don't know if you've ever had it or, or experienced it, but it's basically, you

00:06:41.260 could literally, if you lift a book or something the wrong way or at the wrong way,

00:06:45.540 your arm just kind of like collapses or wants to, and the, and the pain is hard to explain.

00:06:52.500 It's, it's excruciating.

00:06:53.620 And so it's really weird.

00:06:56.300 Um, and that was probably the hardest thing.

00:06:59.880 It was a two, three years of figuring out the process of how to deal with it and compensate

00:07:05.700 and do different things.

00:07:07.740 So yeah, to this day, I don't do a lot of like big lifting, um, you know, and you've

00:07:13.180 seen me, I'm not like really big or anything, but I can, yeah, but I can go.

00:07:17.680 It's like when we went hunting and Scott posted something, he's like thick boy hunting club

00:07:22.380 and Sean picture of us.

00:07:27.180 That's true.

00:07:28.000 That's true.

00:07:28.680 But that's also why you were getting around so well relative to everybody else.

00:07:32.940 Yeah, man.

00:07:33.980 I've never, fortunately, I've never had to deal with anything.

00:07:37.420 No, no major health or bodily injuries that I've ever had to deal with.

00:07:43.580 Knock on wood.

00:07:44.420 Um, so I know I'm really fortunate and blessed that way.

00:07:47.360 Uh, my body's tends to be pretty resilient, which is good.

00:07:51.380 Um, and I'm just, you know, keep my fingers crossed.

00:07:54.360 So, yeah, but it's, it's like anything you hear people that get hurt, they injured their

00:07:58.780 leg, they injured their arm, you know, and you just have to change the way you do everything

00:08:03.340 stuff you never thought about before.

00:08:06.100 Speaking of, uh, learning to shoot your bow.

00:08:07.980 So I don't know if you can see this right here in the dark, that's a new bow.

00:08:11.120 I got the PSE levitate.

00:08:13.880 That's a left-handed bow.

00:08:16.100 So I'm making the switch this year.

00:08:18.640 Yeah.

00:08:19.040 So your eyes, the dominant eye.

00:08:21.440 My left eye is dominant.

00:08:22.880 Yeah.

00:08:23.160 So I've shot, the only thing that I ever do left-handed is I shoot pool left-handed.

00:08:28.740 Everything else has all been right-handed.

00:08:30.780 And so I was talking with Dudley about what, what should I do?

00:08:34.280 Because when I, when I shoot my bow, I can't keep both of my eyes open.

00:08:38.400 I have to close my left eye or I can't pick up a target.

00:08:42.380 And he's like, well, you know, you should probably the quick fix is to put like a card

00:08:47.440 or something, a blocker in on your brim in front of your left eye.

00:08:50.700 So you can keep both eyes open, but it's blocking that field of view.

00:08:54.680 The right thing to do is to switch to shoot left-handed.

00:08:57.680 So I've been talking with a couple of people and decided to make the switch.

00:09:02.620 And then I, you know, I told my wife, I'm like, Hey, I got to buy a new bow.

00:09:05.980 Cause I'm shooting left-handed. Like it gave me a reason to buy a new bow as well.

00:09:10.580 She didn't see through any of that or she saw right through it. I should say.

00:09:14.660 Yeah. I think I'm going to be there. My left eye is dominant too, but it's not to the extreme

00:09:19.260 that yours is. So I seem fine, but I think as I get older, I'll probably have to make the switch too.

00:09:25.500 Yeah. I'll let you know how it goes. All right, man. Next question.

00:09:27.620 All right. Jared Andrews, he says, how do you balance the unstoppable, uh, in parentheses,

00:09:35.640 cleaner value of blocking out noise and negative feedback of lower performing members on your team,

00:09:42.420 i.e. while being in the zone while at the same time, achieving the goal of bringing them up to your

00:09:48.560 level. This question can apply in sports, business sales, et cetera. I'm trying to understand the

00:09:54.080 dichotomy between winning at all costs yet slowing down to bring the others up with me. And I think

00:10:00.400 he's referring to the book relentless by Tim Grover. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so I think this is a good

00:10:07.060 question. So he, so I'm just trying to paraphrase here. How do you find the balance between wanting

00:10:12.640 to excel and dominate in your life? And at the same time, turn around and assist and help those

00:10:19.240 individuals who maybe not are at the same level as you, but at least have a desire to, or working

00:10:25.140 towards it. That's, that's what I hear. Um, you know, here, here's what I would say. Number one is

00:10:30.220 don't have expectations of people, you know, that lowering my expectations of others has actually

00:10:36.520 proven to be a very valuable skill. And I'm not saying that I don't hold people to a high standard,

00:10:42.120 especially, and almost exclusively if they've made commitments to me or working together.

00:10:47.900 Right. So Sean, if you say, Hey Ryan, I'll be here at 11 o'clock to do the podcast and you're not,

00:10:53.640 man, I'm going to reach out and I'm going to call you on that. Hey bro, like no call, no show. You

00:10:57.660 told me we're going to be here. So I would expect you to uphold that. I also know that to be your

00:11:03.080 personality, which is why we're friends and why we work together. Um, but there's other people in

00:11:08.600 life who have made no commitments to me and who am I to say, well, they should behave this way and

00:11:14.280 they should do that. And they should do this. Now, some B some people hearing that might think

00:11:18.580 that's different because of my job is to tell men how to be better and how to become better,

00:11:26.180 but I'm not offering unsolicited feedback to people either. I'm offering feedback. And if you want

00:11:33.240 it, it's here, it's open. You come and get it. It's not like I would ever reach out to somebody and say,

00:11:38.280 Hey, uh, you know, Joe, I, I, you, you don't know me, but I saw this thing that you post on

00:11:43.900 Instagram and I really think you're doing life wrong. Like I'm not because I have no expectation

00:11:48.840 of Joe and that has really, but other people do. And I have in the past and not having that

00:11:55.580 expectation takes a big weight off of your shoulders because there's nothing I can do to

00:12:01.420 control anyone, those people in my immediate circle. And especially those outside of my circle,

00:12:08.380 I can influence people, but I can't control them. So first I would say, let go of the expectation

00:12:14.620 that others have to perform to your level because they don't, and they won't. Some are going to perform

00:12:20.280 better. Some are going to perform worse. And that's just part of life. The other side of it is

00:12:25.240 that somebody helped you along the way, right? You had a mentor, you had a coach, you had a boss,

00:12:31.960 your wife or a friend, somebody helped you along the way. And I think that's kind of a pay it forward

00:12:37.660 mentality that we can't excel without the help of others. So how can we expect other people to excel

00:12:44.260 without our help? And, and a big part of the iron council. And again, this also applies broadly

00:12:49.860 is learning and developing the skills that you need to succeed and also mentoring those who want

00:12:57.640 to do the same thing. Iron council has that built into the programming. Like you're not just there to

00:13:03.560 get, you're there to give. And ironically enough, the more that you give to other people by serving

00:13:10.560 them, the more you're going to get in return. There is a, there is a point where your service

00:13:19.120 to others goes unnoticed or it falls on deaf ears, or it's not appreciated or even taken advantage of.

00:13:26.700 And I think that's a line you need to be aware of because I can't pour in. I'll just use you as an

00:13:31.020 example, Sean. I can't pour into you. Let's say you hired me as a mentor or some sort of coach,

00:13:36.380 and I'm giving you everything I can. I'm telling you all the things that you need to, I'm, I'm

00:13:42.680 helping you uncover answers to your own problems and just like habitually just don't implement any

00:13:49.020 of it. At that point, I would wash my hands and say, Sean, I've appreciated our relationship. You're

00:13:55.480 not implementing what I'm sharing with you. You're not improving. You've proven to me that you're less

00:14:00.100 interested in your own development than I am. And I'm, I'm done. I'm out. If at some point,

00:14:06.380 it changes in the future, you can let me know how it's changed. And if I feel like we can work

00:14:11.420 together in this capacity in the future, sure, but not anymore. So there is a line where your service

00:14:17.940 needs to stop. Anyways, that's what I, that's, that's, that's where I go with it.

00:14:24.460 Yeah. I would add that, especially thinking of the book, if you're a cleaner, you're, they're never

00:14:31.540 going to be at your level. And so, yeah, the expectation part is right. But then also

00:14:36.540 simultaneously, you have to keep being a cleaner. You have to keep performing. And that example is

00:14:45.280 what's going to lift other people up. So you performing at the highest level is going to make

00:14:51.320 shots. So like if he uses obviously the analogy in his book of Michael Jordan, and I, I look at my

00:14:57.980 business and I somehow married a woman who's a cleaner as well. Right. So it's kind of like

00:15:04.940 Michael Jordan and Scotty Pippen with the bulls where you had two cleaners on a team and then they

00:15:10.760 had Dennis Robin Rodman. Right. So there's like three cleaners that on any team, those guys would

00:15:16.260 be cleaners. And, and they happen to be on the same team. And I had that in my business, but they

00:15:22.500 can't expect anyone else on the team to be anywhere near like them. And so it's, instead of that

00:15:29.260 expectation, you have to keep being the first one in the gym, you have to keep making the shots when

00:15:34.540 they count, when it's, you know, you can't keep passing the ball to your, to your coolers on the

00:15:40.500 team, or even the closers, you know, for those game winning shots, expecting them to make those shots.

00:15:45.580 So you have to keep doing it, but your communication has to improve with those people doing it. So what

00:15:53.100 I mean by that is like, I don't know if you've seen the Tom Brady thing. I watched it. Uh, when

00:15:57.600 I got COVID, I was stuck in bed and I watched that man in the arena and I watched all of them. There's

00:16:03.080 nine of them. I don't know if you've seen any of them. I haven't seen him. No, but it's basically

00:16:07.280 his story of all of the rings that he won, except for the one with Tampa Bay to all of his time with

00:16:12.440 the Patriots. And, um, there's a lot of great insight that you could pull from that. What I

00:16:17.100 saw is you have a guy who no one's ever going to perform at his level. You look at what he's done

00:16:21.560 with his body and everything else. And a lot of people attribute his success to being able to take

00:16:25.840 care of his body. And, and that's part of it. But what I saw, the most important thing is he's

00:16:32.220 magnificent at what I call CPC, which is constant personal communication, where if you're the highest

00:16:40.240 achiever in a team, it's your job to be in constant communication with the people on your team

00:16:46.600 to keep them accountable to the things that need to be getting done for you guys to win

00:16:52.480 championships. And that's what Tom Brady got good at. As he got older, there was when he started,

00:16:58.900 they'd say he got all these rings, right? They got these few rings to start off. And he started

00:17:03.400 thinking, man, this is going to be easy. And then they got a different dynamic and they went 10 years

00:17:07.700 of not a single ring. And it's frustrating. But during that 10 years, he got better at communicating

00:17:12.660 to his team. And the way he pulled the most out of the people on his team was communicating what he

00:17:19.660 was doing. And constantly on that accountability, and not even like calling him and being like,

00:17:26.400 hey, you need to do this, or why aren't you doing this? It's more like, hey, guys, I'm going to be in

00:17:32.080 the gym every day at this time, whoever wants to join me, I'm going to be there. And then you're there.

00:17:36.000 Yeah. You know, this is what I'm doing, getting my results. Hey, I'm using this trainer, you guys

00:17:40.800 could use them if you want, right? Anybody wants to use them, let me know, you know, but this is

00:17:44.740 what I'm doing. And so it's letting people know what you're doing. And then constantly, almost daily.

00:17:50.780 And that's, for me, personally, is the most frustrating part of my business is staying in

00:17:57.440 consistent, constant contact with the people on your team that are never going to be cleaners.

00:18:02.180 But through that process, hopefully, they learn to be closers, or they get a little bit more success,

00:18:09.920 or they do just that little bit more that they wouldn't have otherwise done. And that pulls the

00:18:14.860 whole team up. So it's the most frustrating part. But that improvement in your communication,

00:18:21.300 and then just being cognizant of how you communicate when you're in the zone, because he asked that in the

00:18:27.980 question, too, about being in the zone. And my wife and I, both being cleaners, early in our business,

00:18:33.860 we're always focused, always working, always on our way to the next thing. And our team looked at

00:18:41.980 that as being cold, or not caring, or not, or being mad at them, even worse, where we weren't any of

00:18:49.360 those things. We were just focused on the next task. But we had to realize that. And when that

00:18:56.660 happened, stop ourselves, and communicate what was going on, so that we got less and less of that

00:19:02.540 feeling from them, right? So I think communication is the key in that.

00:19:07.480 It's interesting that you said, how people interpreted it as cold, or that you don't care

00:19:13.280 about them, or that you're mad at them, because I get the same thing. And I do it to my family a lot.

00:19:17.720 And they interpret it as something that it's not. I'm just like, no, I'm not mad at all. I'm focused

00:19:24.020 on this thing. And I think a lot of the times, guys who perform at the levels that we try to

00:19:28.720 end up leaving a bit of a wake of collateral damage without realizing what's going on behind you,

00:19:34.420 because you're so focused on what's in front of you, which is good. But I like that concept,

00:19:41.120 that framework of constant personal communication, CPC, so that you're stopping and looking and making

00:19:47.340 sure that everybody around you is still good. They're still on board. They're still with you.

00:19:52.640 You didn't blow them completely out.

00:19:55.560 Right. Or it's like, you're running a team event and you're like, you just get out front and you

00:20:00.700 just run. And before you know it, it gets pretty quiet and you look around and nobody else is

00:20:05.660 around you. You're like, oh shit, this isn't an individual event. This is a team event.

00:20:10.120 And I just burned everybody out because I could run fast. Well, that's not the objective. The

00:20:14.860 objective wasn't to go at it alone. The objective is to do that as a team. And so you can be a cleaner

00:20:20.460 and lead your team effectively, but you can't blow them out of the water if that's the team.

00:20:26.720 Yeah. And I feel like in the book, he has this whole page. It's page 28 and 29. It says like,

00:20:33.300 what a cooler, closer and cleaner does. And there's one thing in here. It says coolers think they want the

00:20:39.440 spotlight, but when they get it, they usually handle it badly. Closers stand in front because they need to

00:20:44.760 show who's in charge and cleaners don't have to show who's in charge. Everybody already knows.

00:20:50.260 And so, you know, I thought in a sense of if you're just doing your thing, like when you started the

00:20:55.240 iron council, when you started order a man, I wasn't around, but you have guys that you talked about

00:21:00.600 this in our call this week about the guys who were originally there. You had Gatch and Reese and some of

00:21:06.320 those guys, right? Well, they knew that you were doing something special because they could feel it.

00:21:13.100 It wasn't as much what you said, what you, you know, how you tried to portray yourself,

00:21:18.700 you trying to be in front. They just saw what you were doing and they knew if they grabbed onto

00:21:23.900 your coattails and they might not have realized this is what was happening, but they just knew

00:21:27.960 something that if they grabbed onto your coattails, you were going to take them somewhere,

00:21:31.900 right? This was something special. And now in that process, like you don't have to call Gatch and

00:21:37.480 be on, I'm assuming all the time, like, Hey, are you doing this? Are you running this? Are you

00:21:41.880 communicating this? Right. You don't have to do that with the Reese. You don't have to do that

00:21:45.140 with any of the leaders who has stepped up to your level. And now you have those cleaners on your team,

00:21:51.720 but it was from you just doing you in the beginning. And then those guys pulled themselves

00:21:57.840 up to that level following suit.

00:22:00.680 Yeah. I mean, I hope that's the case. Cool. What's next?

00:22:04.200 Justin Gelsma. He asks on the man in the making podcast, you mentioned your phone is always on

00:22:11.620 silent mode. How does that work? Do you check it periodically and return messages as needed?

00:22:17.860 Curious about your phone management?

00:22:21.340 Yeah, I don't, I don't have, so I turn off all notifications. I don't, I don't get,

00:22:26.020 I don't get any notifications. I don't get text notifications, phone calls, updates on different

00:22:32.900 apps and social media outlets. I get nothing because if I do, in fact, I have our system that

00:22:40.940 we use for the iron council pulled up on my browser right now, because I have the questions loaded

00:22:45.920 and I can hear it beeping every once in a while when somebody sends a new message or responds to

00:22:53.500 something. So it's beeping at me. And even that is just distracting.

00:22:57.560 You know, so I can't imagine what it would be like to have all of your notifications,

00:23:04.240 ding, ding, ding, all the, it would be nonstop. So what I usually do is I block, I, I, I block in

00:23:11.860 the buffers is, is, is what I call it. So I have buffers between schedules. So you and me will be

00:23:17.680 wrapped up here around noon, but we got started a little late. So it'll probably go to like 12,

00:23:22.720 12, 10, 12, 15, someone right in there. Well, that's okay. Because my next appointment is at

00:23:28.080 1230. It was, I didn't make my next appointment at noon. I made it at 1230 because I know things go

00:23:35.780 late. Little fires need to be put out in those buffers. I'm blocking the things that need to

00:23:41.620 get done. So for example, in that gap, I don't need to prepare for my next meeting. Cause that's

00:23:46.700 not a meeting I need to prepare for. It's a phone call. So I can use that time to just send out a

00:23:52.980 few texts, respond to a couple of messages and maybe get to some of my DMS on Instagram. And I

00:23:59.820 block in that buffer. So I'm just working in that buffer. And that's it. Like it's, it's really

00:24:05.900 simple, but I, but I'm so much more effective in 30 minutes with my time management on the phone

00:24:11.540 than I could be in three hours because it's only hyper-focused time where I'm doing that

00:24:18.860 particular activity. And then the other times I'm hyper-focused on this. Like I'm not, I'm not

00:24:24.620 checking messages. I'm not like, I'm all in on this. The only other thing that I'm doing that

00:24:28.900 people may not know is I'm taking notes. Like I, I like to take notes as we talk. Um, I wrote down

00:24:33.920 here, CPC, that was a framework you just shared. Cause I like that. That's cool. I want to remember

00:24:37.880 that. Um, but outside of that, like I'm, I'm fully present and engaged in this conversation

00:24:43.340 by speaking and listening and that's it. So that's how I do it. Yeah. What do you do?

00:24:48.740 I just turn off all notifications and it actually, I shouldn't say that not all, but all the ones

00:24:56.120 available to us, you know, every app you load on your phone or everything you, you put on there,

00:25:01.080 they all ask you if you want push notifications. So I have no, no, automatically no. Um,

00:25:07.660 but for things that are more important or if there's relationships I want to develop. I mean,

00:25:13.900 if I'm being totally honest on Instagram, I'll push notifications from certain people,

00:25:18.940 meaning that if they post something or they put something on their story or they do something,

00:25:23.660 I'll get it and then I can respond. So it helps me stay in communication with those people. And so

00:25:30.900 things like that I'll do, but do you still do that? Do you still do that in just as it comes up or do

00:25:38.500 you do that at a certain period of time? So let's say for example, cause I'm, I'm sure, you know,

00:25:43.140 you get notifications from me and you're following me and you want to make that relationship work.

00:25:47.960 That's a joke. I don't really know if you are doing that or not. Um, and I don't expect you to,

00:25:52.820 but let's just hypothetically say that you are, are you just like, if I were to send something out,

00:25:58.340 are you going to immediately respond to that? Or do you have certain times of the day where you're

00:26:01.800 like, Oh, okay. Yeah. Ryan shared something cool. And Steve and John and Bill, okay. I'll just go

00:26:06.260 respond to those five people right now all at once. That it's both. So if I'm in the middle of

00:26:14.720 some, like I could be doing a task that I can multitask with. And if that's the case and I get

00:26:21.300 that notification, I'll click on it and be like, Oh, well, you know, check that out. Um, this happened

00:26:27.000 when, when we went hunting, it, this is a good example of that there it's, I was in my garage.

00:26:34.920 I was doing just kind of like, I don't want to say meaningless, but you know, brainless tasks

00:26:40.440 in the garage. And the thing said, came up that said you were going live and I'd been listening

00:26:45.620 to a podcast or something when it popped up. So I just clicked on it and it goes to a live thing with

00:26:50.940 you. And you happen to be talking about how, you know, people don't deliver on their promises or

00:26:58.560 something like that. Right. And you were in a little rant, but then you're like, I have this

00:27:02.700 hunt coming up and I've reached out to people and it's amazing how many guys are like, well,

00:27:07.640 I don't know. And, uh, when, and, and all the stuff you were like, I'm just looking for a yes or no.

00:27:14.500 When you think you want to go, I'll send you the information. If not, tell me you're not

00:27:18.520 interested. Right. And that's fine too. Yeah. And that's fine too. And you're like, I just,

00:27:23.000 I can't find guys that are willing to commit or whatever. And so I just sent you a text saying,

00:27:28.340 Hey, when's the hunt? That was it during the thing. And while you were in that live, you're

00:27:33.080 like, look, like my buddy, Sean just texted me this, like, when's the hunt? You know, obviously

00:27:38.180 he's on, but that's what I'm talking about. Like you just, if you're interested, you let me know.

00:27:43.100 If not, you say no, but no humming and hawing in between. Right. So that push notification

00:27:48.780 is what got me on that hunt with you guys. Does that make sense? And so you, you, you were on

00:27:55.600 those pushes before, because I wanted to build that relationship and you still are because it's

00:28:00.380 just, I never took it off. Right. But, um, you're just waiting for the next, you just, you're just

00:28:05.580 waiting to get invited on the next hunt. You don't care about anything else. Just as long as you can get

00:28:09.860 me on a hunt. And obviously that wasn't the intention. I just wanted to be more in tune

00:28:16.320 with what you're talking about, because that what you're trying to do with order of man is

00:28:21.260 important to me, um, in helping get that message out there. So the more things I could be in tune

00:28:27.040 with that you're putting out there, if I could share those and whatever, that was my intention

00:28:30.960 is that I can keep putting like sharing that stuff and putting it out there as it came up.

00:28:35.220 Um, but that just happened to happen because, you know, I had that notification.

00:28:41.680 So one of the things I'm hearing you say, as you say that is you might have exceptions to the

00:28:47.180 notification rule, but here's the distinction I'm hearing between what I think most people do

00:28:52.580 is you're very intentional about it. It's not like leave all notifications up for whatever. No,

00:28:58.960 it's like, I'm okay with getting notifications from these few people that I want to stay connected

00:29:04.720 with. So it's, even though you might have those, we'll just call them interruptions.

00:29:11.320 There are still intentional interruptions where you're like, Oh no, I would interrupt what I'm

00:29:16.600 doing at least to take a look at what this person's doing or saying or sharing or emailing me about.

00:29:21.700 That's what I hear you say.

00:29:22.920 If I was in a meeting, if I was doing something for my business specifically, if I was with a client,

00:29:29.420 if I was with one of my kids and we're, you know, doing scripture time or having a talk at night

00:29:34.360 or something, you know, I'm not going to in mid talk, I see, Oh, Ryan's going live and then click

00:29:39.220 on that. Right. Of course.

00:29:40.920 It's not going to supersede. It doesn't automatically take the place of kind of,

00:29:48.500 if you took the Covey, you know, what's important, the most important go down from there.

00:29:52.980 It's not going to go immediately to the top of the list, but if I'm doing something of lower

00:29:57.020 importance, then I can check it. You know, otherwise it's like you said,

00:30:01.200 I only check emails and those things early in the morning before anyone's up in my house.

00:30:06.620 Like I get up usually five, five 30 before anyone's up. I'm doing emails, all the monotonous

00:30:12.160 tasks that aren't going to be getting me growth results throughout my day. And then I do it the

00:30:21.140 same thing late at night. So the whole middle of the day, if I can be making phone calls and things

00:30:26.000 that grow my business that, you know, serve me for growth, I do those and anything monotonous

00:30:32.160 that could be done in off times. That's when I do those things.

00:30:38.400 There's one of the thing I've been thinking about too, as we we've discussed this a little bit is

00:30:42.780 that I think these little devices that we have, have conditioned us to believe that just because

00:30:49.060 someone reaches out that we owe them an immediate response. So if somebody texts you,

00:30:54.960 you got to text them right back. If somebody sends a message on Instagram, you got to message

00:30:59.860 them right back. I've even seen like phone call. Oh, they're calling. I got to call them because

00:31:03.600 you always have this device. I've even seen people, my family does this and my wife always laughs at

00:31:08.980 me. She's like, Hey, so-and-so came by. Did you get the door? I'm like, no. And she's like, well,

00:31:14.680 you were home. You didn't get the door. I'm like, yeah, I was working. She's like, oh,

00:31:17.960 you're on a podcast. I said, no, maybe I was sending emails or working on the book. She's like,

00:31:22.620 and you didn't stop to get the door. No, I don't. It's not my responsibility to acquiesce to your

00:31:28.360 request of, of my time and attention and energy. Like I'm, I don't owe you to answer the door. I

00:31:35.080 don't owe you to pick up the phone call. I don't owe you a message within the first 10 seconds of

00:31:39.720 receiving it. I will do it on my time unless, you know, of course there's exceptions. If it's an

00:31:44.560 emergency from, of course, right. But that's not what I'm saying. Um, I'm, I've just gotten

00:31:49.840 completely okay with managing my schedule on my time. And if you want some of my time,

00:31:56.160 I'll make that time a hundred percent for those people I care about. I will make that time,

00:32:00.840 but it's going to be on my time. Like I had a buddy reach out. He's going on, um,

00:32:05.420 Jocko's podcast. And he's like, Hey, can I, can I have a call with you about like preparing for it

00:32:11.900 and getting ready? I'm like, yeah, sure. Here's the time I'm available. And if it can work,

00:32:17.660 it works. And if it doesn't let's on him, that's his problem. I'll make myself available,

00:32:21.660 but it's within my constraints. Yeah. Well, just think of the simple thing as somebody dropping

00:32:27.340 something off at your house. The goal was to drop something at your house, but if you go open the

00:32:32.180 door now and they're there, that could take up 15, 20 minutes of just talking about not or more of

00:32:37.940 talking about nothing. Cause you, they want to catch up or, you know, who knows, maybe they're

00:32:43.220 hoping you're going to answer the door so they can tell you about some problem they're having.

00:32:46.700 Right. And that's that just maybe, yeah, I, I don't know. My wife teases me about that too.

00:32:52.820 Cause as soon as that happens, she says you're, I can literally see your eyes glaze over as soon

00:32:59.300 as people start talking about whatever they're dealing with. Oh yeah. Well, that's about how I

00:33:04.640 feel. All right. What's next. Right. Brett Huber. And he said, it's a little lengthy. He posted

00:33:13.420 it on the fatherhood page. So here we go. The basics are that my 11 year old daughter confided

00:33:19.420 in me and broke down that she feels like her mom, my wife doesn't love her reacts negatively to her.

00:33:25.020 And my daughter doesn't trust her enough to talk to her about it or basically anything because of

00:33:29.300 those reactions. I was heartbroken hearing all of this come out. I believe my wife will be too.

00:33:35.800 My wife deals with some pretty serious depression, takes medication, and I believe does her best with

00:33:41.220 it, but the ups and downs are still a very real part of our life. She has a really good relationship

00:33:46.980 with our older daughter. And I didn't expect this from my youngest, my wife and oldest daughter

00:33:51.820 were out of town at a volleyball tournament. They've been traveling and my wife was pissy,

00:33:55.860 not the right time for this right. As she walked in the door, but I feel like I need to start this

00:34:01.120 emotional conversation between them soon for two reasons. One, I want my daughter to have the

00:34:07.420 confidence and courage to confront anyone in her life who's causing her pain to explain her feelings

00:34:12.320 and grow from the experience. She needs to learn that she's the one who decides how much the actions

00:34:17.320 of others affect her. And two, there's no way this is intended by my wife, but clearly there's a

00:34:22.920 disconnect and she isn't aware of the impact. I can't go, I can't be the go between, but I feel like

00:34:30.080 I can initiate the tough conversation and hopefully ensure it stays calm and productive. Any thoughts or

00:34:36.340 advice from any of you is appreciated. Well, I think, I think you alluded to the answer right at

00:34:42.840 the end there. Number one, you owe it to your wife to talk with her. Like, and you are, I'm not saying

00:34:48.340 you aren't, but be guys be very careful of having conversations with your children and then excluding

00:34:54.520 your spouse from those conversations. That's not right. Like the classic example is a little,

00:35:03.680 little Timmy or Lily set little Sally gets in trouble with mom or dad and then ask mom or dad

00:35:09.220 not to tell the other one. No, sorry. We're, we're a partnership. You know, if, if my, if my son does

00:35:16.660 something and my wife knows about it, she's telling me like, that's not even a question because we've

00:35:23.140 discussed that. And it's important that both of us know, because we both look at those scenarios

00:35:27.380 through a different lens, which is why we're married and have kids together to compliment each other

00:35:32.500 and to play off of each other. So yeah, don't, don't hold it. And you already said to, she likely

00:35:37.860 doesn't know, but also your daughter needs to learn a valuable lesson in that. If there's something

00:35:42.580 that's on her mind and something that's bothering her, she can't hold up and she can't shell up.

00:35:47.880 She needs to have difficult conversations with people because I guarantee, I don't want to guarantee,

00:35:53.940 but I'd be willing to bet that when your wife finds out, she's probably going to be upset about

00:36:01.620 it. Sure. But she's also probably going to change her behavior based on the limited information that

00:36:06.760 we have here. And it's going to get better at least for a time. So this is a powerful moment

00:36:12.140 for your daughter to learn how to have a healthy conversation. That's uncomfortable and to show some

00:36:20.480 courage around that. So what I would suggest is talking with your wife about what's going on in

00:36:27.100 the way that you've interpreted your daughter's feedback, talk with your daughter about why it's

00:36:31.780 important that you share with mom. And you might even be able to have that conversation with all

00:36:39.420 three of them together. I don't, I don't, it doesn't sound, it sounds like you may have another daughter

00:36:44.620 is the way I kind of read that. I don't, I don't think this is your only daughter.

00:36:48.000 Yeah. Yeah. As an older and this is his younger. Okay. Okay. Cause I was going to say if,

00:36:52.460 if it was just your, your only daughter, you could around the dinner table, you could have some really

00:36:56.260 powerful conversations, but with the older daughter there, that might not be appropriate,

00:36:59.420 but maybe there's an opportunity for you guys to go out or, or to carve out some time in the morning

00:37:05.360 or, or while you're doing something and you can at least broach the subject where you're there.

00:37:10.140 So your daughter feels more comfortable because you're there and your wife might be able to see

00:37:17.580 it differently because she can't see it now, but also you have to excuse yourself from it at some

00:37:22.240 point, right? Like you can't always be in the middle, but I think there's an opportunity for

00:37:27.600 you to be in the middle in this environment, at least initially, and then go ahead and bow out

00:37:32.060 now that they're having the conversation and they're, they're discussing what needs to be discussed.

00:37:37.300 But yeah, I don't, I don't, you said, you said it yourself, your wife doesn't likely know,

00:37:42.820 but she needs to know and you need to be the one to bring it to her. But your daughter also needs to

00:37:48.700 learn how to have a tough conversation and you can foster and facilitate that as well.

00:37:53.560 Yeah, that was perfect. The only thing I would add is make sure that in your conversation with your

00:37:59.860 daughter, that you explain to her maybe why your wife communicates that way with her and make sure

00:38:09.340 that you have your wife's back because the last thing you want to happen when you go to your daughter

00:38:14.900 or your wife with your daughter, that she feels like she's being ganged up on. So if you have that

00:38:23.480 conversation with your daughter and you're like, I know, honey, I know she does that. I'm sorry.

00:38:27.880 That's the wrong way to do it. The right way to do it is, you know what, honey, I know she does that,

00:38:33.900 but here's why it's because she cares about you. And she doesn't, maybe she doesn't communicate it

00:38:38.680 the way that you like, but here's her intention. So, you know, most parents ruin, they mess this one

00:38:45.300 up because they don't communicate well enough with each other. And maybe they're even mad at the way

00:38:51.180 they communicate with each other. And then when one of their kids start complaining about one of

00:38:54.340 those things, they take their side. Don't ever take your kid's side. You and your wife,

00:39:00.960 the partnership, you're the most important in that relationship and that dynamic. So make sure,

00:39:06.640 even if you agree with your daughter, that you still have your wife's back and you communicate

00:39:10.520 that to your daughter before you set it up between the three of you or the two of them.

00:39:16.560 I think that advice could even work in a strained relationship between exes. You know,

00:39:21.840 like, let's say you have an ex and she's a bit maybe vindictive or says things about you or,

00:39:28.680 and, and then your daughter or son says, well, you know, mom is saying all these things about you.

00:39:34.120 Well, it might be easy for you and you might have a desire to really go after her, but what if instead

00:39:40.560 say, Hey, you know, we've, we've had a hard relationship and there's been some strains

00:39:45.520 that both of us have an element of responsibility for.

00:39:48.680 But the thing that you need to know is that your mom does love you and she wants to make sure

00:39:53.980 that the environment around you is the best. Like you don't have to lie or make stuff up or blow

00:39:59.280 smoke up your kids, you know, but, but like that, that might be a healthy way to approach

00:40:05.420 these conversations, you know, that, that, that are happening. But I do like that advice of

00:40:10.300 not taking the other side. I had a, I had an experience just a week or so ago where, um,

00:40:18.000 somebody had said something about something I said in a negative context to other people.

00:40:26.600 And instead of just being upset about it, I reached out to that person. I said, Hey man, like,

00:40:31.240 why did you, why did you say this? Like, if you had a problem, all you had to do was come to me.

00:40:37.140 And we had a really healthy discussion about it because I was willing to have that conversation.

00:40:42.920 And, and, and I, my whole goal was that we both walk away knowing that we're not supposed to throw

00:40:49.160 each other under the bus. Like we're supposed to lift each other up and prop each other up.

00:40:54.280 Things can be addressed, but issues need to be addressed between us, not everybody else.

00:40:59.300 So you need to be willing to have those conversations. It's very powerful. And you

00:41:03.360 know, what was good about it too is immediately a weight was lifted off of my shoulders and the

00:41:09.860 individual was able to share some things that he needed to share. And it was great because I was

00:41:15.080 willing to have that conversation head on. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. What's next?

00:41:20.820 Next is John freeze. He asks, how do you strike a balance between really pushing yourself and setting

00:41:29.720 goals that are unattainable and getting discouraged for failing?

00:41:36.060 Failure is an interesting one, especially in the self-help space. Cause we, we despise it. We're,

00:41:41.820 we're so repulsed by it that we can't even barely utter the word I failed. It's, it's really wild to me.

00:41:50.540 Like we'll, we'll make up the acronyms, right? The first attempt in learning and fail forward and

00:41:57.080 fail fast and fail. Like, and it's like, we're, we try to craft everything that we possibly can to

00:42:03.280 avoid just saying, no, I failed on that. And I don't, I don't know if it's something I learned or

00:42:07.780 something I've always had. Like, I don't, I don't actually have a problem with failure.

00:42:12.720 Maybe I've failed enough where I'm like, yeah, okay. It's not the end of the world. That's probably

00:42:15.920 what it is, but I don't, I don't have a problem saying I failed. Like I'll even post

00:42:20.380 some things that, you know, I failed, failed on and people are like, well, you know, you didn't

00:42:23.920 fail. You learned like, well, no, I failed. And I learned, but I did not fail. I, I failed to meet

00:42:30.700 my objective and therefore I failed, you know? So I think we have to have a healthy dose of reality

00:42:38.520 that we are going to fail. Like you're going to fail a hundred percent. You're going to fail.

00:42:44.720 And if you aren't willing to admit that, then you aren't going to do anything that stretches

00:42:50.120 you outside your comfort zone because you can't stand it. You can't deal with it. Right. But if

00:42:56.560 you said, no, I know I'm going to fail, like I'm going to start this podcast and maybe it's going

00:43:00.300 to work and maybe it isn't. And you know, people are going to ignore me or I'm going to get, you know,

00:43:05.660 mocked or other people are going to decline to come on and do a podcast. And if you're really,

00:43:11.440 really honest with yourself about that, it's almost like giving your, your, your enemy of a face,

00:43:18.760 a face and a name. And now, because you know what it looks like, you can actually deal with it in a

00:43:24.060 healthy way. But if you're always trying to hide from, I don't want to look like a loser. I don't

00:43:28.100 want people to think less of me. I don't want to fail, man. You're going to run away every time when

00:43:34.820 something gets just a little bit hard. So I know that doesn't answer your question directly,

00:43:39.500 but I think it's really, really important that we address this healthy relationship with failure.

00:43:45.080 And then what most people have is a very unhealthy, destructive relationship with it. And I think

00:43:52.220 if you get healthy about it, you're going to push harder than you did before you realize that,

00:43:59.140 you know, you're afraid of failing. Yeah. And I think this is where sports is valuable,

00:44:05.200 especially if you grew up playing, cause I know you grew up playing baseball and baseball.

00:44:10.340 Yeah. To me, baseball was so valuable, so much more valuable than any other sports.

00:44:16.200 Mainly because of the percentages for doing well are much lower in baseball. You look at baseball

00:44:24.600 compared to basketball, right? Like for you to be in the hall of fame in basketball, you need a 90 plus

00:44:30.180 percentage, you know, shooting percentage, which means you, you, your failure percentage is super

00:44:37.320 low for you to be considered one of the greats, but in baseball, you're failing 70% of the time and

00:44:43.360 you still make it into the hall of fame. And you're still amazing. Yeah. Yeah. And so that was valuable.

00:44:48.580 I think to me as a kid where you just, you learn to fail and keep your head up and run back to the

00:44:53.400 dugout and be ready for the next step back. Right. And so, you know, those sorts of things.

00:44:58.300 It's I I've always kind of attributed my view on that back to that experience growing up in that

00:45:05.700 sort of a sport and the challenge about, uh, think about wrestling. Yeah. Like that's like,

00:45:12.780 it's, I'm not gonna say it's even worse, but cause your percentages shouldn't be, you know, 300 and,

00:45:18.880 and you're considered awesome. But, uh, man, you go out there and you're in this tiny singlet. I mean,

00:45:26.480 you might as well be, you're damn near naked really. And you go out there with one other person

00:45:32.240 and that person is trying to physically dominate you. And they do. And think about how hard that

00:45:41.000 is. I mean, we've had UFC fighters, uh, on the podcast and think about what that's like,

00:45:46.220 like getting your ass kicked in front of hundreds of thousands of people that, you know, are critiquing

00:45:54.020 you and telling you all the things you should and shouldn't have done. And, and you're, you're,

00:45:59.280 you're in an octagon with one other man. He's trying to exert himself upon you. Like talk about

00:46:05.740 failure, but the more those guys fail, they can have that. Well that, but then also they take

00:46:11.680 their pride on being physically dominant and then they're dominated. It's man, I can't imagine what

00:46:18.320 that would be like, but that probably gives you a healthy sense of humility, uh, to, to drive on

00:46:23.880 and get back in the ring and do it again. Yeah. I had one other thought on that question and that,

00:46:30.360 um, I saw this when I first got into iron council on the first battle team I was on where I had,

00:46:37.660 I was getting a lot of a hundred percent in my quadrants every week and was asked like,

00:46:43.260 are you making it too easy? And, um, you know, my, it's, I'm like, no, I'm just, I know my threshold

00:46:50.660 and I, I know what I can achieve and I also know what pushes myself. So it's not like I wasn't

00:46:55.700 pushing myself the whole time, you know, but I was getting it done where if I doubled the number

00:47:00.900 and I'm getting 50%, that doesn't serve me. Um, and so I need those little wins. Everybody needs

00:47:08.100 those little wins. I see it when people come in, you know, the business that I'm in,

00:47:12.240 you get someone that is making $50,000 a year and you help them put a business plan together

00:47:17.300 and they say, you know, they're going to be making a million dollars their first year or their first

00:47:22.220 couple of years, you know, and have guys done that. Yeah. Should that be your expectation? No,

00:47:27.820 most likely you're going to fail in that. Why don't you start with a hundred grand?

00:47:32.260 That's twice as much as you've ever made in your life. Let's start there. Right. And on track to a

00:47:37.620 million. Um, and the, the likelihood that that's going to happen is a lot better. Now, if you go

00:47:43.620 out and you make two or two 50, you far exceeded that and you're never going to be more excited.

00:47:48.720 But if your expectation was a million and it was too high and you hit 200, you're going to feel like

00:47:53.700 a failure still, you know, and you might, you know, feel sad and it might get you to quit. So you need to

00:47:59.000 have these little wins along the way that are attainable, um, till it becomes a habit that you're

00:48:06.340 constantly pushing yourself to do a little bit more. It's like the story that, that English,

00:48:11.300 uh, bike riding team, right. Cycling team that was like the worst in the world. And then their coach

00:48:17.800 came in and, and focused on the 1% better every day. 1% better. 1% doesn't seem like it's moving

00:48:26.020 the needle, but 1% improvement with, you know, compounded over time turns you into the best in

00:48:33.340 the world. And that's what happened with that cycling team. It's the same with us. We, we need

00:48:37.460 to, it is a dichotomy, but you're better off, uh, ratcheting down the big goals. Um, and then

00:48:48.280 achieving all of the smaller ones in route to the larger ones. Sure. Well, I also think you need to

00:48:55.640 have people around you who can give you a realistic expectation of what it's going to take.

00:49:00.480 Yes. Because that's, this goes back to your story of business coaching. You know, if you've made 50

00:49:04.560 grand your whole life and you're like, okay, I want to make 5 million this year. Like a business

00:49:08.340 coach is going to say, okay, cool. Hold your horses a little bit, you know, slow, slow it down.

00:49:14.980 Let's get these fundamentals in place. And I'm going to go, I'm going to help you get from 50 to a hundred,

00:49:18.720 but we're not getting to 5 million today. My take is 10 years to get to that point.

00:49:23.080 So these people around you, what's that? I was going to say, or show you the real

00:49:27.700 numbers that it's going to take to do that. You can do that, but here's what you're going to have

00:49:32.580 to do. Right. And if you don't think you can do that, what do you think you can do? Okay. And

00:49:37.540 if you think you can do this, here's where you're going to land. Then the other thing I would say is

00:49:42.380 making sure that your goals and objectives on the other side of things are just real. They're,

00:49:47.700 they're, they're, they're relevant. They're realistic. You know, if I said, for example,

00:49:53.160 that I'm going to be an astronaut this year, like that's number one, that's not realistic

00:50:00.460 because there's people who are way more qualified than I am. And number two, it's not even relevant.

00:50:05.600 Like, I don't, I mean, that would be cool, but I don't care enough about it to pursue that.

00:50:10.140 So like, why am I making that goal? But we do that a lot. Actually, I used to do that because

00:50:14.700 there's a bunch of people I follow on social media and I started picking up, you know, their hobbies

00:50:18.740 and their activities and doing what they're doing because I thought they were cool or I thought they

00:50:22.240 were, you know, the epitome of what I was supposed to be. And then I realized, oh, I'm not actually

00:50:27.460 doing this for me. Like I'm doing this to be validated by them or validated by somebody else,

00:50:33.000 but I don't even care about this thing. And so I let it go and started pursuing the things that

00:50:38.480 were relevant to me. And life's a whole lot better when you're doing it that way.

00:50:41.720 Yeah. And you, then you have to also find a system that works for you to implement those

00:50:48.840 things. Yeah. Right. And that's, that's why I like the battle plan that you put together

00:50:54.100 because it focuses you daily on the tasks necessary to achieve what you need to in each

00:51:00.160 of your quadrants. And so you're focused on the now and not, you know, the, whether it's

00:51:06.500 the failing aspect or whatever else, it's what you can control today in this moment.

00:51:10.220 Yeah. And it's also quarterly objectives. So like really how much are you going to change

00:51:15.940 the world in the next 90 days? Probably not the world, but you could definitely change your

00:51:21.800 family dynamic. You can definitely work on changing the culture in your business. You

00:51:27.480 could definitely empower and embolden the people in your neighborhood to live better lives.

00:51:34.120 So you can do a lot in 90 days, but you aren't going to change the world in 90 days. Now you

00:51:38.820 stack enough of those together. Yeah. You're going to start making some, some major impacts.

00:51:43.300 Yeah. I mean, shoot. One of the first things I did with the first battle plan, when I started

00:51:47.700 the IC was my 90 days for my family dynamic is I wanted to stop yelling at my kids.

00:51:54.340 And so out of 90 days, I wasn't, I mean, I was not quite, but Holy smokes going from yelling at

00:52:01.720 them almost every day to not that, that moved the needle significantly in our entire family dynamic.

00:52:10.840 Yeah. Cool. What's next?

00:52:13.000 Corey Danell asks, you mentioned a couple of weeks ago, your wife was traveling and you were handling

00:52:18.940 the kids in the house. What were some action steps you took while your wife was gone to ensure you

00:52:24.460 still had everything done, uh, battle plan. He has in parentheses while doing double duty,

00:52:31.340 appreciate all the value that AMAs have to offer. Keep it up.

00:52:35.640 So one of the first things I do, cause, cause my wife will leave occasionally should go out of town

00:52:39.720 for a couple of days or whatever, and spend some time with friends or family. And so I'm here with

00:52:43.780 the kiddos and I've also got work. So, I mean, these aren't, these aren't just spur of the moment

00:52:48.540 trips. Like I know about these trips for, you know, four, six, eight weeks ahead of time. And so

00:52:53.860 what I'll do leading up to my wife leaving is I'll go double time the week before. So I record at this

00:53:01.860 point, a podcast every, I mean, it's three to four a week. Last week, I actually did 13 podcasts last

00:53:08.460 week, three of my own, and then another 10 for other, other shows that asked me to go on. So, you

00:53:16.140 know, it's a, it's a busy podcasting schedule among other things. And so what I'll do is know,

00:53:20.860 okay, well, my wife's leaving from Wednesday through Sunday. So that I want to be present.

00:53:26.100 I need to do the homeschooling stuff. I need to make them lunch. Like there's things I need to do

00:53:29.800 with the kids. So I'm going to be, I'm not going to be able to do my work Wednesday through Friday.

00:53:35.040 Okay. Well, it still has to get done. So I make it up ahead of time.

00:53:38.060 Um, so I'll record, instead of recording, uh, three podcasts of my own the week before I'll

00:53:44.620 record six that week and I'll go hard on getting everything lined up so that when those three or

00:53:50.440 four or five days come up, I can be fully present and take on the load of what she, the weight that

00:53:55.660 she carries within the home. Uh, and that, that alone, that that's how you do it. That's how you

00:54:01.660 be focused. And that's how you can be present with what's important right in front of you,

00:54:05.760 but not shirk your duties and responsibilities. Now, as far as my tactics, you, those things

00:54:12.900 change a little bit, right? Like going to jujitsu with my four kids on Wednesday night, if Trish

00:54:20.140 is gone could work, it wouldn't be enjoyable and it probably wouldn't be all that productive

00:54:26.600 and everybody else would be pissed off at me probably. So that might not work, but could

00:54:32.680 I do a workout, an hour long workout with my kids in the driveway, um, or in the, or

00:54:38.160 doing, you know, a circuit in the house a hundred percent. I could do that. And that would still

00:54:43.820 meet my objective or excuse me, my tactic of, of getting my, my exercise in. Right. So you

00:54:50.700 might need to tweak your tactics a little bit, not that you get to shirk them, not that you get

00:54:54.760 to do that indefinitely, but just adjust or adapt as you have these life circumstances come

00:54:59.940 up or, you know, she's going to be gone. So if you really feel like I need to get to jujitsu

00:55:05.120 on Wednesday night, okay, get a sitter. Like you can do that. Like what, what's keeping

00:55:09.900 you from planning ahead and calling the sitter. And so your wife having to do it. Right. So

00:55:14.820 there's, there's things and ways you can do it. Just need a little pre-planning and you

00:55:18.460 need to bust your tail the week before so that you're ready for the week of.

00:55:22.640 Yeah. That's spot on. And what I heard in that is communication that we already talked

00:55:28.760 about before you guys communicate enough that you're on the same page. You also, I'm

00:55:36.060 sure knew what the kids had that week, every single one of the kids, what they had, what

00:55:42.240 the times, where they were, um, put that in as your non-negotiables and then you can work

00:55:48.580 the rest around that. I'm assuming, right. It's kind of alluded to that, but I just want

00:55:53.340 to, you know, maybe clarify on that part. Right. Yeah. One specific thing that my wife

00:55:58.280 does that's very helpful is, so this last trip she was gone for, I think it was four

00:56:05.280 days. Yes. Four days. And she had an eight by 11 sheet of paper for each day. So like Thursday

00:56:15.860 it was chore list and it showed me who had what, and then lunch, you know, our second

00:56:22.780 was going to make lunch on Thursday and then dinner. Here's the food. Here's what

00:56:28.720 it is. Our oldest is going to make dinner. And then Friday, here's the three or four

00:56:34.460 chores. Here's the food list. So like she plans it out really well too. And she also

00:56:40.120 with homeschooling, she puts together their, we call them packets. It's basically their

00:56:44.820 assignments for the day. She'll put them together in, in daily packets. So she's

00:56:49.440 like, here's, here's your daughter's Thursday packet. And so we can just go

00:56:54.760 through that. It's, she organizes a lot of that, which obviously takes a lot of the

00:56:59.820 workload off as well. Yeah. So I'm glad I asked that because basically what you just

00:57:05.480 said is she does the same thing you do. She loads up the week before for that week

00:57:10.800 while she's gone too. And the combination of the boats is what works.

00:57:14.640 Right. Yeah. Let's take a couple more, man.

00:57:17.360 Right. Josh Guerrero asks, in a world that seems to be plunging into chaos and becoming

00:57:22.760 more unpredictable, what are the key things that we as men should be doing in order to

00:57:27.880 prepare as things are likely to keep getting worse?

00:57:31.420 Yeah. I mean, I kind of feel like I've gone over these a lot, but like I would reiterate a

00:57:36.200 couple of things. Number one, get your financial house in order. Obviously that's a big area of

00:57:41.140 the life that you deal with. Right. So even as COVID started to take place a couple of years

00:57:45.780 ago, like I pulled out quite a bit of money out of the bank because at the time when it was crazy

00:57:51.440 and nobody knew what in the world was going on, I'm like, what is happening? So I pulled a bunch

00:57:55.060 of money out of the bank and I keep that on hand, you know? So that was one little change

00:58:00.520 that I made. Our portfolio, our investment portfolio stayed pretty much the same, but we

00:58:06.620 have rental properties. So every time I hear on the news about inflation and home values are going

00:58:14.320 up, I'm like, good, keep going. I like that because my rentals rates go up. The value of our property

00:58:20.460 goes up. I have no problem with that because our financial house is in order. That's where most

00:58:26.620 people get it wrong is their financial house isn't in order. And maybe they had a bankruptcy

00:58:31.940 two years ago. And so now they're renting and they're negatively impact by the fact that rates

00:58:38.260 are going up. Whereas I'm positively impacted by it because I made good financial decisions

00:58:44.120 five, six, 10 years ago. And we've been continuing to make those decisions. There's other investment

00:58:50.560 opportunities that have come up because our financial house is in order. And as these opportunities

00:58:57.260 present themselves, we're in the position to take advantage of them. So definitely having your

00:59:01.400 financial house in order. I would also make sure that you're developing marketable skills. So learning

00:59:07.880 how to communicate, learning how to network, maybe there's a specific craft that you need to develop or

00:59:12.940 learn based on what your market is or what you do for work. But learning those marketable skills

00:59:19.300 is important. Building your network is hugely important. If I stop order of man today, or

00:59:26.820 for some reason, the plug got pulled and I couldn't do it anymore. I'd have a new gig lined up this

00:59:34.040 afternoon. And I'm not trying to be arrogant about that, but that's the reality because I've spent

00:59:40.440 seven years at this point building a powerful network with powerful people.

00:59:45.440 Uh, and then the other front I would say is your provisions. So that's your food storage. Um,

00:59:52.960 we just bought about a thousand or so dollars worth of food storage from, I believe it's called

00:59:57.840 Patriot supply or my Patriot supply. So, um, my wife and I worked on that a little bit, water,

01:00:05.140 water filtration systems, fuel. We've got a generator in place, uh, in case the power of the grid goes down,

01:00:12.940 we're looking at solar as, as another viable option. Um, and then firearms ammunition. I mean,

01:00:21.360 we, we all know what it is. The, the, the challenge is it gets overwhelming because there's so much.

01:00:27.340 And so one thing that we've done with food provisions is that every time my wife goes

01:00:31.800 grocery shopping, which is usually about once a week or so, um, she'll always get a little more food,

01:00:37.380 like an extra couple of bags of rice or an extra case of water, um, or some, some canned items.

01:00:44.980 I just bought her a freeze dryer. So every day she's freeze drying and vacuum sealing new stuff.

01:00:50.860 And so we're not doing it all at once. It's like the financial thing. I didn't just make the decision

01:00:56.700 to be financially abundant. And then the next day I was like, I've been doing it for 10 years,

01:01:01.800 well, 15 years at this point. And that's what it takes doing it every single day,

01:01:07.080 little bit at a time. Like the, the, the, is it called like the Kaizen method? The 1% better every

01:01:12.700 single day or the Kaizen or I think that's what it's called. Something like that. Yeah.

01:01:17.140 That's what it is. So do it now. If you don't do it now in the next two to three years,

01:01:21.540 you're going to find yourself in a bad situation, asking the same question to a bunch of strangers

01:01:25.680 on a podcast, like do it now 1% better every single day. And before you know it,

01:01:30.960 you find yourself in a much better scenario than you were a year or two ago.

01:01:36.040 Yeah. It's, as you said that, that was spot on. The only thing I would add is to have him read

01:01:41.720 sovereignty again. And as he's going through that highlight, what he thinks are the biggest holes

01:01:47.380 in his boat and then fill those holes, whatever it is, you know, and, and start there most important

01:01:54.040 to least important, just work your way down that list. Well, that's a, that's an interesting

01:01:59.260 analogy. So imagine you're in this boat that you're talking about and you've got like five

01:02:05.320 different leaks that you've identified, which one would you fill the first, like the largest one,

01:02:11.480 like the one that's taking on the most water. That's the one that you would address first.

01:02:15.720 And once that was addressed, then you'd move to the one that was less risky, but more risk than the

01:02:21.740 others. And it's the same thing with your, the scenario we're talking about here. If you have no,

01:02:25.920 like you have plenty of food, but no water. Okay. Well, water might be something you'd look

01:02:30.200 into. If, if you have no fuel on hand, but you have some other things that are pretty squared away,

01:02:36.060 maybe it's time to worry about the fuel. So look at the risk that you're, that you're taking by not

01:02:41.500 covering those scenarios and fill the greatest risk first. Yeah. There is, if you're talking

01:02:46.820 financially, I use this analogy a lot with the, with the boat, but most people's solution to their

01:02:53.700 financial problems is make more money. And so they never work on their bad habits with money. So,

01:02:59.460 you know, getting better at getting out of debts, putting money aside for emergencies,

01:03:04.180 putting money aside for long-term, they never build up any of those habits that are necessary to be

01:03:08.860 wealthy. They just try to make more money and then wonder why they never become wealthy. And it's like

01:03:14.560 you having those holes in your boat and all you're doing is trying to row faster.

01:03:19.960 Because you're still going to sink. Right. No matter how fast you row. So you got to fill those

01:03:25.840 holes. Yeah, definitely. All right, man, let's take one more. All right. Ralph Rojas. He says,

01:03:32.940 in both of your experiences as hunters, what would you say is the best bang for your buck,

01:03:38.360 non-resident, over-the-counter hunting trip, if stocking the freezer is a main goal?

01:03:44.160 Colorado elk and Hawaii axis deer are of my top interest.

01:03:48.040 Okay. So biggest bang for your buck. I think, I think the elk hunt, depending on where you go.

01:03:54.420 And if you go with somebody, he's got a background in wilderness survival and outdoors. So he understands

01:03:59.600 all this stuff that, that might be a good Avenue, especially because it's a large animal. So if you

01:04:04.940 shoot a large animal, you're going to fill up that freezer a lot quicker. That's a lot more effective

01:04:09.120 than going and shooting, you know, seven axis deer. Plus they're much harder to kill. You and I know

01:04:14.680 that, right? Those are much harder to kill. So if it's biggest bang for your buck and you want to

01:04:20.280 fill up the freezer, going like flying to Hawaii and trying to shoot axis deer to fill up your

01:04:26.560 freezer. First, you're gonna have to shoot a lot of them. Second, they're very hard to shoot. Third,

01:04:30.720 you need to bring that food back. And so that's more cost and more inefficiency. Like, I don't know

01:04:37.200 where this idea comes from. Like hunting is, is cheaper than going to the grocery store. Like I

01:04:42.080 haven't found that to be the experience. Um, you know, maybe a pig hunt is, is probably a high

01:04:49.580 success rate. Like go to Texas and shoot some pigs. That's a high, high success rate. I'm sure.

01:04:54.860 Uh, or, you know, you go to some well-managed land and you get on some, some big white tails or big

01:05:01.600 mule deer. Um, that's what I would say. Yeah. They, I would also say, I think we're thinking

01:05:09.860 more from a bow hunters perspective. And so if you're looking most bang for your buck, I mean,

01:05:16.480 first of all, start with the rifle. If you're shooting with a bow. Good point. Good point.

01:05:21.200 That's because you could go to Hawaii and you could shoot 10 and a half an hour. Uh, you know,

01:05:27.520 that is with a rifle. If you, if you're at the right property that allows you rifle hunting and,

01:05:32.980 and gives you, you know, a super high limit or no limit, you can get on some ranches. If you,

01:05:38.220 if you know someone or, or, you know, somebody introduces you to somebody, they'll let you shoot

01:05:42.440 as many as you want. And you could go in a day and, and literally shoot 20 deer. So, you know,

01:05:49.340 if you've got a rifle with the bow, not so much, um, you know, and so, yeah, you could do that,

01:05:57.300 but then you also, in Hawaii, you have to know someone, uh, you know, you could go on to a place

01:06:03.360 like we went to, but they'll have, their limits are super high also, um, you know, and pay that.

01:06:09.680 But, you know, the most bang for your buck is start asking people, you know, who live in Hawaii or

01:06:14.580 around Hawaii or have hunted a lot, who they know, you know, maybe you get introductions there. Um,

01:06:20.360 yeah, that's, that's what I would say is a big difference.

01:06:26.420 Cause I remember sitting there thinking, I wish I had a rifle right now.

01:06:30.000 Yeah.

01:06:30.420 We would have shot a thousand if we could in those.

01:06:33.480 And I don't know. I, I don't, I don't like diminish anybody who rifles hunts,

01:06:38.340 rifle hunts at all. Like it's still hard. Like you're still out there working your tail off and

01:06:42.720 you still have to make the shot cleanly. Like things still need to go right. And you still need

01:06:48.300 to put effort together, but it takes a lot of variables out of the equation. That's for sure.

01:06:54.120 Yeah.

01:06:55.360 All right. One more.

01:06:56.780 All right.

01:06:57.940 Cause that was a hunting question. So yeah, those are free. We do those all the time. Those in

01:07:02.720 jujitsu, those don't even count. They're just free questions.

01:07:07.260 Ralph Rojas asked what practical tactics or general rules do you follow to keep fear at bay?

01:07:15.120 Creeping thoughts of bad things that can happen in your life.

01:07:18.300 I've struggled with the challenge that anytime I work towards a meaningful goal,

01:07:22.240 the worry level rises.

01:07:26.120 I can't relate with this question and, and I'm not trying to be dismissive of it,

01:07:31.600 but I don't, I mean, I, I have fear. I, I don't have fear about chasing my goals. I don't,

01:07:38.780 I don't, I don't, I, it's hard. I can't even answer the question.

01:07:42.780 Why are you afraid? Let me say it this way. And then, and then, and say what you're going to say,

01:07:49.680 but let me say it this way. So what's the alternative? Do nothing. I'm not okay with that.

01:07:56.840 Like I'm not okay with that at all. So anything that I might be worried about or concerned with

01:08:03.700 or afraid of is pale in comparison to me sitting on my ass and not chasing the things that I want

01:08:12.900 to chase. So I don't, I don't deal with it. And I don't think I ever have. When I started Order of

01:08:18.600 Man, I wasn't afraid of like chasing it or what if it doesn't work? What if it doesn't?

01:08:25.620 Well, I wanted to know, I wanted to find out. And the fact that it, that it could have gone

01:08:30.040 another way was a very real possibility and one that I contemplated. It didn't keep me from pursuing

01:08:35.520 it. So that, that's how I would choose to look at it is instead of thinking about what if things go

01:08:40.880 wrong? What if you stay the, where you are, like, you should be afraid of that. That to me is a

01:08:46.020 greater fear than if things go sideways with the ventures that you're interested in.

01:08:51.060 Terrifying. Yeah. But would you say that you would call yourself an eternal optimist?

01:08:57.800 Do you think you have that? Like if we're given talents, if we're given gifts from God,

01:09:04.380 would you say that's one of your gifts? Is that you're, you look at everything with optimism?

01:09:09.300 Like everything's going to be okay. You're going to end up in a good place. No. Okay.

01:09:13.680 I mean, maybe, but I don't look at it as being optimistic. I look at it as actually being pretty

01:09:19.640 realistic based on my track record. So instead of optimism, I wouldn't, I know what you're saying.

01:09:26.040 I wouldn't frame it like that. I'm, I just know I'm confident. That's what it is. I'm confident.

01:09:32.240 So it's not about optimism. It's about confidence. Like I can make this work if I want. Of course I know

01:09:37.800 I can because I have so many other things that have worked out. And also I know that if it doesn't work

01:09:43.040 out, then I'll deal with that. You know, if order of man doesn't work out, if my financial planning

01:09:48.740 practice back then didn't work out. Okay. Well then I deal with it and pivot, adjust, learn a new skill,

01:09:54.660 tweak it, massage it a little bit, make it better. And then it gets better. But the fear has never

01:10:01.980 been, and maybe that is a personality thing, which is, I think something you're alluding to,

01:10:06.840 you know, maybe, maybe that's just a personality thing, but I'm just, I'm just not going to sit

01:10:11.880 around and do nothing because I'm afraid of what could happen. I'm more afraid of doing nothing

01:10:17.980 and what life would look like if I was just kind of mediocre or complacent with where I was in life.

01:10:24.400 Yeah. I, I know for me, my affirmations I've had for over 20 years, it, I remind myself daily,

01:10:33.300 I'm not going to get to the end of my life and say, I wish I would have dot, dot, dot. That's,

01:10:38.820 that's my biggest fear is that getting to a place where I look back and say, man, I wish I would have

01:10:44.440 tried this, done this, pushed a little harder in this or whatever it is. You know, and so that's

01:10:50.620 a major, but then I think it's also looking for practical tactics is knowing what you want. I think

01:11:00.860 a lot of people get scared because they don't really know what they want. And so they drift

01:11:05.520 and you could get sidetracked by fear or worry instead of being focused on the tactics and tasks

01:11:15.980 you need to accomplish to get what you want. You know? So I just, I don't know. And I do think it's

01:11:22.200 a personality that I think some people just innately worry a lot more. Like my wife's a worrier and I'm

01:11:26.940 not. Um, but you know, that it could be a personality thing too, but I think that focusing

01:11:34.320 on what you, um, can control and what serves you now and on a daily basis is a practical tactic,

01:11:43.760 I think, to overcome the fear part. So here's one other thought, cause you were talking about drifting

01:11:49.860 and as you were saying it, I'm like, I don't, I don't think that's totally right. I don't,

01:11:55.060 I actually don't mind drifting. I mean, I have a direction I want to go for sure, but I'm okay

01:12:01.260 with just kind of exploring and taking little side paths and alternatives and just experimenting with

01:12:07.340 them and, and seeing what, what works. But I think that comes from where I derive my sense of

01:12:15.100 pride in the way that I show up. So this might be a pivot you can make is a lot of people. They,

01:12:21.980 they, their sense of pride or self-worth is derived from reaching their goal and their destination and

01:12:28.940 their accomplishments. And that's fine. I, I take pride in the things that we've done,

01:12:33.660 but I'm more proud of the daily actions. I'm more proud of doing something, anything,

01:12:44.720 trying new things, experimenting with new things. Somebody asked me not too long ago, they said,

01:12:49.340 you know, if, if you would want somebody to remember you a certain way, what, what would

01:12:53.280 you want them to remember you by? And I thought about my kids and I thought to myself, I would want

01:12:59.900 them to remember me as somebody who, if he had an idea that he was willing to pursue it.

01:13:07.540 Not that it always worked out, not that it always went according to plan, not that it was always

01:13:11.480 success, but that he always, always strove towards those ideas and just let it go where it was going

01:13:20.700 to take him. That's meaningful to me. But I also think fear is like, fear is not a bad thing.

01:13:27.800 Everybody gets like, Oh, fear. I don't want to be afraid. Well, maybe you should be afraid.

01:13:33.780 If you just put a period on the end of it, that's a problem. But if you put a calm on it, I'm afraid,

01:13:39.180 period. That's a problem. I'm afraid. And because I'm afraid I'm going to do dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.

01:13:46.140 Fear can actually drive you to make really good decisions.

01:13:49.680 Yeah. Or it can drive you to make bad decisions or no decision at all, but you get to choose.

01:13:55.660 So when you're faced with the fear of starting a new business, you could say, well, I'm not going

01:14:00.140 to do that at all. Cause it's going to put me at risk or, Hey, you know what? If I start a new

01:14:03.860 business, we're going to struggle financially for six months to a year. So I'm going to build up my

01:14:10.260 emergency fund. We're going to cut back expenses and we're going to do that now. And that way it

01:14:16.560 won't be as hard for us as we continue to pursue through this thing. So the fear drove you to a

01:14:21.480 productive, healthy set of actions. If you didn't have the fear, you'd be reckless. And that would be

01:14:29.820 a problem. Yeah. I mean, if you study the science of quote unquote motivation, fear of loss is a much

01:14:37.460 larger motivator than pursuit of gain. As long as again, I want to reiterate. So fear of, let's say

01:14:44.940 there is balance. Like I've had guys who, you know, maybe they've had a divorce or they've, you know,

01:14:53.980 they've had a bad relationship. And so they're afraid of getting into another one. Obviously,

01:14:57.800 of course, no, no one would expect you to be anything, but so a lot of men will completely

01:15:05.700 cut themselves off from future romantic relationships. Well, that's not a healthy

01:15:11.480 way to deal with anything. Instead, why don't you try to figure out what you did or didn't do

01:15:18.700 that you can change or you can improve and how you can get better. So when the next woman comes into

01:15:23.080 your life, the dynamic, the relationship is different than the first one, because you're a

01:15:27.120 different person. It's like that old, that quote, no man steps in the same river twice for it is not

01:15:33.140 the same river and he is not the same man. Like become a new man, learn something new, get better

01:15:40.780 because of your scenario and don't withdraw and retreat, but move forward with a new found

01:15:47.320 skillset and conviction that you can do it. I love that.

01:15:51.680 All right, brother, let's wrap it up. We went a little longer today, but good question. So I wanted

01:15:57.080 to get through them. Yeah. Hey, can I just throw out a thing? One of the questions was from man in

01:16:02.480 the making. And, uh, let me tell you that that for me and my relationship with my boys, you know,

01:16:09.580 Austin and Brody, right? They're 13 and 12 and every car ride now, that's what we put on. If we're going

01:16:16.560 to school or going to baseball practice, I pick them up and like, I'm already a pretty good

01:16:21.400 communicator with them and of course, but it's really taken everything to that next level of

01:16:27.360 like, man, we're having more meaningful conversation. I literally, you'll ask a question

01:16:32.660 of Brecken or he'll ask a question that he wanted to cover and I hit pause and we discuss it. And then

01:16:38.160 we listen to your answers. It's created so much great dialogue for us. I just, I want to throw that

01:16:42.820 out there. So the guys here, hear it. If they're not doing that already, you should be doing that

01:16:46.820 with your sons. That's awesome. We, uh, did you listen to the one we released on? I think it was

01:16:51.240 Friday. We we've gotten a little behind, but we released on Friday. No, Saturday, I think.

01:16:55.460 I honestly, I'm not sure. Cause they just go. And so they're like, I'm just kind of pausing and

01:16:59.980 listening and then they keep going. And so I don't know which one we're in or you would know,

01:17:04.820 because we read your review on, on the podcast. No, I didn't know. So you're not. Oh, that's funny.

01:17:10.880 Okay. Yeah. What you just said, we read on the podcast. Cause we thought that was pretty cool

01:17:15.540 what you guys are doing. Oh, okay. Cool. I appreciate it. Yeah. Guys, that's, um,

01:17:20.440 man in the making. So man in the making podcast. So go check that out. All right, guys,

01:17:24.360 we appreciate your questions. Um, good, solid questions today. Hopefully it helped. That's

01:17:28.500 our goal. Uh, whether you agree or not, you know, we're trying to put this information out there and

01:17:33.040 do good and help us all become more effective, more capable men. So please continue to share,

01:17:38.940 leave your questions, share the podcast, leave the rating and review and get after it. That's it.

01:17:44.980 All right, guys, we'll be back on Friday until then go out there, take action and become the man you

01:17:49.500 are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of

01:17:54.780 your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - March 02, 2022

Striking the Balance Between Performance and Service, Constant Personal Communication, and Time Blocking in the Buffers ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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