Order of Man - Tackling Objectives in 2022, Advice for Building Confidence, and Addressing Your Inner Rage

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.400 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.720 you can call yourself a man. All right, Sean, how's it going, man?

00:00:26.800 Good. Happy New Year. Yeah, you ran back, ran, hopped onto the podcast from putting down your

00:00:37.120 firearm. Do you want to give an excuse for breathing so heavily? Part of it is I actually

00:00:42.360 am going to get a COVID test in a few hours. I've been sick since Saturday and couldn't get one

00:00:48.680 yesterday because they're all booked up for obvious reasons. End of the holiday, everybody

00:00:53.520 going back to work or whatever. Yeah. So I have one booked for a few hours from now.

00:00:58.820 You just congested? Is that why you're going in? It's yeah. That in my head, like a crazy headache,

00:01:05.720 not a normal headache, you know, which I hear is one of the things it's probably the Omicron,

00:01:10.980 the, you know, not Megatron, but the Omicron. Yeah, totally. I actually, when I got,

00:01:17.200 I got COVID a while ago and that's all it was for me actually was a headache and I felt a little

00:01:24.780 achy. No congestion, no fever, no nothing. That's all. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I hope it is. And

00:01:32.240 then I'm over it. I just ran up my hill back to the firearm part, chasing coyotes. I had a couple

00:01:39.760 coyotes almost nab our pug this morning. Yeah. So Sean's out there protecting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:01:47.780 We have a big German shepherd and a little pug and, and the, uh, pug almost got taken that man,

00:01:53.840 those things, those little bastards, they're so crazy. They're so smart, you know, and I'm watching

00:01:59.380 it happen. My stupid pug thinks he's, he's the alpha, right? He's the male. My, my shepherd's the

00:02:05.420 female. Yeah. And so he thinks because he can punk her that like other big dogs are no problem

00:02:11.940 either. Yeah. That's funny. So it was not smart, but it made for a hectic morning had to go, you

00:02:18.740 know, shoot a couple of coyotes and run around with who knows what sickness. So yeah, a little out of

00:02:25.920 breath, little whatever, but ready. Yeah. And, and guys, my apologies. I, um, after I hit record,

00:02:33.180 I'm heading back home. Cause, um, I, I actually got sick apparently in my throat and I'm sniffling.

00:02:38.960 So my apologies if that's annoying throughout this party, I shouldn't even brought it up.

00:02:42.920 Now everyone be paying attention to me sniffling. I know the front of us. Yeah. So, but it is what

00:02:48.960 it is. We knew we had a record. Otherwise Ryan's going to get a little pissy. So, and we don't want

00:02:54.180 to offend him. He's real sensitive type. So, um, Hey Sean, have you seen Hamilton? I love it. Yeah.

00:03:01.340 Yeah. I have. Yeah. I, um, I watched it last night. Um, in, I went to the play right to the

00:03:08.880 theater, uh, and saw it in person. So good. Way better than watching that on, on TV for sure.

00:03:14.680 Yeah. Well, I didn't watch it on TV. So I, I, I was, um, I didn't ruin it for myself. You know what

00:03:21.480 I mean? Yeah. But, um, man, such a great play. I actually, it's inexplainable, right? Yeah. It was

00:03:27.700 so good. It was so good. I'll be honest. What I was telling my wife afterwards on the way home.

00:03:33.820 Um, I'm so sensitive, right. To like political correctness. Right. So like, like in the first

00:03:40.240 five minutes, I'm like, Oh, hold on. Are we doing this all? Like this, is this like political

00:03:45.200 bullshit? Right. Where we're going to pretend like all the white guys are black guys and black guys are

00:03:49.760 white guys. And you know what I mean? Like this is as, and no, it wasn't actually. It was just

00:03:55.240 the best actor playing the best part. Yeah. Does it make sense? And I was like,

00:04:00.020 that was actually super cool. Like I loved, I loved it. Like they nailed it. That the guy who played,

00:04:07.660 um, George Washington was stellar, right? Like I, I really enjoyed his character. I love the character

00:04:15.160 of, of, um, of the King of, of England, you know, and the role that he played in the thing. It was super,

00:04:23.680 I don't know. It was great. So, I mean, if anyone has, yeah, I mean, those are tickets,

00:04:29.520 very hard tickets to get, but if, uh, if anyone's on the fence of seeing that play,

00:04:34.440 um, it was awesome. It was really, you know what it does too, in my opinion, anyways, and,

00:04:39.140 and I didn't really have the same thought that you had, but what it did for me is kind of what I,

00:04:45.000 I talk a lot about it anyways, on a regular basis, kind of with the men in my circle and other people

00:04:50.940 that I know that, you know, I hope we get to the point, I think we talked about it on the last

00:04:54.420 podcast. I hope we get to the point where, you know, we don't look at each other as like,

00:04:58.320 I have my Asian friends and my black friends and my Hispanic friends, my white friends that they're

00:05:02.180 just my friends. Right. And that play, I think nailed that where you're not thinking of the

00:05:06.540 characters as it was like this white guy or this guy or whatever. It was just these powerful men.

00:05:12.960 Right. And I'm assuming it's probably different for different companies. Right. So the company that I

00:05:17.720 watched in Salt Lake probably had a different variation of actors. That's probably different

00:05:23.000 than what was on Broadway, you know, in, in New York five years ago or whatever. So I, I like,

00:05:29.260 it was funny, like for instance, like Hamilton's son's black. Right. And Hamilton was played by a

00:05:34.600 white guy, you know what I mean? And I'm like, I, I don't know. I, I thought it was awesome. Like

00:05:39.320 really refreshing. It was, it was great. So, but anyhow, I had a, I don't know, it's on the head

00:05:44.920 because I was like, man, it was such a good, such a good play. So, all right. So we're building

00:05:49.600 questions today. We'll get right into these from the iron council to learn more about the iron

00:05:55.360 council. You can go to order of man.com slash iron council. It's currently closed. And so if you want

00:06:02.700 to get on the waiting list or to get notified when we open the IC back up for enrollment feel free to go

00:06:09.880 to that website, sign up. So then that way you can pretty properly notified as well as probably

00:06:15.000 following Mr. Mickler on his socials is probably the other great Avenue to stay kind of up to date

00:06:20.540 when we open enrollment. Again, you can follow him at Ryan Mickler. That's M I C H L E R.

00:06:27.560 What else? Yeah, I guess we'll, we'll, we'll dive right into these questions. And, and some of these

00:06:33.760 questions, obviously we, we already know where that's going because it's, it's for us, we're recording

00:06:38.160 this on the third. So the new year just started. It's the first Monday of the new year. And our

00:06:42.880 first questions by Bobby caddy. He says, we don't hear about your battle plans a lot. What's one big

00:06:49.480 thing that both of you are going to do this year? Kip Sorensen and Sean. Hmm. Hey, you know what?

00:06:55.940 That's a, why don't you mention the, the link to the battle planner too? Yeah. That's a good point.

00:07:01.120 Yeah. While you think about it, wait, wait, just give yourself some time to think through that.

00:07:04.780 I actually have it. My battle plans here. Yeah. So go to, so we have a free program online,

00:07:11.500 um, that is actually, um, available to you and you can sign up and it's 30 days to battle ready.

00:07:18.300 And really what this is, is a, is a guided process via email of getting a battle plan in place and in,

00:07:24.860 in the iron council, uh, the tooling that we use to set our objectives, our tactics,

00:07:30.420 and our goals on a quarterly basis is called a battle plan. So if you want to join us without

00:07:35.140 necessarily being part of the iron council, um, go to order of man.com slash battle ready.

00:07:42.340 Uh, and you can sign up for the battle ready program. We also have a mobile app,

00:07:47.300 um, that you can purchase for tracking, uh, of your goals. And that URL is 12,

00:07:55.260 the numbers one, two week battle planner.com 12 week battle planner.com. All right. Did I give

00:08:02.860 you enough time, Sean? Yeah, no, like I said, it was here. Um, but I think it's important that

00:08:07.540 these guys have the resource and know where to go to, to get it. And, um, one big thing on my plan,

00:08:15.840 I don't know how he wants us to share it. Well, he was kind of like, what's one big thing you're

00:08:20.580 looking for this year? So I don't know if you have, if you, I mean, feel free to go over your,

00:08:24.540 your battle plan specifically, but I was just thinking about like, what's, what's one big

00:08:28.600 thing that's on the radar. You know what I mean? Yeah. One big thing for me, we have our new

00:08:32.660 business. It's called happy and strong and it's building it and getting ready for the launch of

00:08:37.320 my wife's book. Um, and so we have to develop and build workshops, materials, online classes,

00:08:44.260 communication with key markets, you know, all the parts of, of launching it.

00:08:48.960 So launching that business, getting it running workshop scheduled, it, it running is, is kind

00:08:56.760 of the, the objective kind of the goal that you're looking at. Yeah. I mean, we have to produce

00:09:01.340 online classes. We have to produce materials, physical materials. We, I mean, her book launches

00:09:08.180 in May. So all of that's gotta be ready to, to roll, uh, by then. Yeah. Copy, copy. Um, so Bobby,

00:09:16.700 I'm going to actually be completely transparent here. So, um, it'd be really great for me to hop

00:09:23.140 on here. I'm like, I have it all ironed out. Um, but I'm a little bit in a slump over the last

00:09:29.140 week for whatever reason. And I think it's, I do this on my birthday. Usually I get kind of like in

00:09:35.020 this deep retrospective mood and I start like, you know, probably beating myself up more than,

00:09:42.960 than inspiring myself. And I'm kind of like, I don't know, I, I, I kind of get in a slump.

00:09:48.840 And so I'm actually in one of those little slumps. Um, as I've looked over this past year,

00:09:53.900 I've felt good about the past year. Um, but as I look into next year, I'll be honest,

00:09:59.980 I'm a little bit like, I don't know, lacking a little inspiration. So, so I've been struggling

00:10:05.820 a little bit and, and then I ended up getting sick a couple of days ago. And so now I'm kind

00:10:09.360 of like, Oh, you know, so, but here's, here's some objectives or goals that I wrote down when

00:10:17.640 I was brainstorming last week. And, and most of these will probably happen. Um, in fact,

00:10:23.140 I feel pretty confident about it, but maybe just, maybe this rapid fire, just sharing my,

00:10:27.740 might give you some ideas. So, um, so I want another, I want to run another relay. I want to

00:10:34.360 do Loto job, which is a, a 200 mile, uh, bike ride from Logan to Jackson, Wyoming. Um, I want to,

00:10:43.780 um, increase muscle mass by another 10 pounds, but in the new year, uh, double my savings of what it is

00:10:52.280 currently today. Um, what else I have an idea around a business venture that I wanted to start,

00:10:59.100 uh, this coming year. And then, um, and then, and this is a soft one because this, I know this

00:11:07.000 is on my wife's radar. She wants to do a half Ironman and, um, and so possibly do a half Ironman

00:11:12.980 with her. So those are the big bucket items that I, that I'm, I haven't worked back into saying, Hey,

00:11:19.300 I'm going to accomplish these in what quarter quite yet. Um, but I'll be honest when I read these

00:11:23.340 two, I I'm not inspired and I, and there's a little bit of self-evaluation where I, I feel like

00:11:28.440 I've been playing small, um, a little too much. And so, um, that's my, my reason for kind of being a

00:11:35.600 little bit in a slump. So, yeah, I think that's fine though. And it's part of, that's why it's a

00:11:41.120 plan. And that's why it's, I think you're there in process further ahead than more guys. And I think

00:11:47.700 it's more important to be doing what you're doing than to say, I'm going to do this and not even

00:11:54.960 write it down. Just say, you're going to do it. And that we know only lasts for a week or two,

00:11:59.180 right? Where if you're actually introspective, think about it, think for the year, like I just

00:12:05.600 rattled off the one I have for the quarter. Right. But I also have a list like you do. I want to do

00:12:10.740 this. I want to accomplish this. This is going to be, and then I broke it down. Okay. We have these

00:12:15.180 goals for the year, which quarter do you do? I think I'm going to do those in. And then you break

00:12:20.260 it down further from there. And, you know, it, it's a 200 mile bike rides, no joke. It's a lot

00:12:28.500 of training and a lot. And I did a relay of that this year. So I ended up riding 90 miles and, um,

00:12:35.700 I like my body broke after my first leg. Like I, I, it was like, I was having problems. Yeah. It was

00:12:42.780 really weird. You know, my nutrition was not right, but, but anyhow, there you go. Hopefully

00:12:48.180 Bobby, I don't know if that helps, but, um, get after it. Uh, all right. Tyson junkers

00:12:53.820 junkers. Oh my goodness. Tyson. All right. Going. I caught myself not quick enough though.

00:13:00.180 Uh, going with this month's theme, what is your best advice for building confidence in sharing what

00:13:05.360 you know, there's a noticeable tendency of holding back from saying something because you are not an

00:13:11.140 expert at it or because you, you second guess yourself. It's a really good question.

00:13:17.340 Really good. The first thing that comes to mind, I think is, uh, you got to know what you're talking

00:13:23.440 about. Uh, you, you had to have either been proficient or found success in something. I think it makes it

00:13:33.360 easier for you to share, um, where I think what holds us back is not being confident in knowing

00:13:42.140 what we're talking about. And so we stop ourselves. Um, actually the book that we're reading in the IC

00:13:48.120 this month, um, has to do with that. Um, shoot, I have my notes here from that too. Um, from that book

00:13:57.460 and, and in there, um, Oh my gosh, I'm spacing on the name of the book now, uh, the confidence gap

00:14:04.620 by Russ Harris. And in there, he, he says, let me find it here that the confidence cycle

00:14:15.580 is one practice, the skills to apply them effectively three assess the results and four

00:14:22.140 modify as needed. And what I like about this book is that he, he has you pause to, to have

00:14:31.120 you contemplate what you're thinking while you're reading certain parts of the book. Uh, and as

00:14:37.300 I read it, as I was reading, it was interesting because he said, you probably had thoughts like

00:14:42.280 dot, dot, dot. Right. And he gives examples and he said, if that's what you thought, that's

00:14:46.440 normal. And most of those thoughts were defeating. My overwhelming thoughts were like, that's

00:14:52.140 exactly what I do. Like I actually wrote down one of the things when he said, pause. And what are

00:14:56.320 you thinking? I wrote down my mind saying I've always done that. Right. And so it's, those are

00:15:03.440 the thoughts that I had, but that's also 22 years of working on myself in that way. Right. Of getting

00:15:10.380 uncomfortable, throwing myself into the, and then I wrote this down, said that actions of confidence

00:15:16.240 come first. And then the feelings of confidence come later. Yeah. So like, if I, that's why I like

00:15:23.460 doing this because it tends to, to be questions that I feel I'm good at, right. If it's leadership,

00:15:30.260 business, finance, uh, relationships, you know, being the best husband I can father, obviously I'm

00:15:37.880 working on all of those things, public speaking, whatever it may be. I think I'm good at the

00:15:42.860 combination of those things. And that's what most of the questions are. So I feel confident to be on

00:15:46.860 here just like, I'm sure you do. But if we were going to talk, if this, if we were going to have

00:15:51.360 a whole talk on jujitsu, you'd be totally confident where I'd be less. Right. Cause I'm like white

00:15:58.420 belled on the brink of blue. Right. And so if I'm going to roll with you, I'm not going to, I'm not

00:16:04.440 going to advise you anything. You're just going to keep wrapping me up like a bow. Right. So I'm not

00:16:10.720 going to be giving you any advice. So I'm going to have no confidence in sharing anything about

00:16:15.320 jujitsu with you. Where on the other hand, as you're wrapping me up, you're going to be like,

00:16:19.640 see what I'm doing here. See, this is how you get out of it. This is what's happening. Here's how I

00:16:24.020 caught you here. Right. And you're going to have plenty of confidence because you've done it thousands

00:16:28.460 of times. And so it's the action of doing it that comes first and then doing it consistently

00:16:34.960 over the course of time as in, and I'll end with this thought when I thought of, I've always done

00:16:41.520 that. When I was reading through this, I thought of some of the different things, especially in my

00:16:46.020 business where I wasn't confident, but I did it anyways. And that was presenting and doing

00:16:52.480 presentations. It took me a solid five or six years to not have anxiety, not shake, not sweat,

00:17:00.280 not stutter, not stumble on my words and figure out what I was going to say, even though it was

00:17:06.500 the same presentation. So it's not like I was using my personality and making up presentations as I go

00:17:12.280 is all boilerplate, just, you know, real, real turnkey presentations. I just had to get good at

00:17:20.720 presenting that same thing over and over again. It still took me five or six years to be proficient

00:17:25.980 enough at it where I didn't stutter and sweat and all of these things. And it was inexplainable.

00:17:31.440 It wasn't a confidence thing. My body just went into that mode for that amount of time. And I had

00:17:37.980 to accept to myself that that was going to happen every time. And I'm talking about not presenting

00:17:43.400 on zoom, like face to face, you have to shake someone's hand when you're done. And every single

00:17:48.020 time my hand would be frozen and sweaty. And I would just, it was embarrassing every time. So I had to

00:17:54.280 accept that I was going to be embarrassed in every handshake at the end of present to the point where

00:17:59.260 literally near the end of my presentation, I would start sitting on my hands to warm them up, to be

00:18:04.720 ready to shake someone's hand when I was done. Um, so I just had to accept it. And then finally it

00:18:10.040 stopped, but most people would quit the first time it was uncomfortable or that first handshake that was

00:18:16.980 embarrassing or whatever. And so anything, when you tell people that it takes years, that's what

00:18:23.740 stops them from getting confident in it because they're going to quit somewhere between here and

00:18:28.680 there. You see that in the IC, you see that in anything like guys come on, they they're excited,

00:18:34.180 they're pumped, they're engaged. And then things get uncomfortable. We do a thing like we did last

00:18:38.760 week where we break into smaller groups and guys have to come out of their comfort zone and actually

00:18:43.560 talk. And then they're out. And maybe you never see them again because they just couldn't get past

00:18:50.300 that comfort, but you can't just do it the first time you have to do it into the hundredth time,

00:18:55.340 into the thousand time, into the, the year's span of doing something. And then that's going to build

00:19:01.800 your company. Then it's easy to talk about. Totally. Yeah. I I'm looking at Tyson's question

00:19:06.960 here and I'm just trying to relate Tyson. Like I, um, you know, I run into this all the time.

00:19:13.860 You know, we had this, yeah, I'm just being transparent here. Like I, um, authentic is the

00:19:20.860 term that Ryan would use. Um, you know, we, we had this Cancun, you know, gathering with a group of

00:19:27.780 guys. And, um, part of me was like, uh, you know, why am I sitting at this table? You know what I mean?

00:19:34.700 Am I, am I Ryan's plus one? Am I like his little bitch at the meeting? Like, you know what I mean?

00:19:40.560 Do I, do I have an opinion to share? Do I have something valuable to bring to this table?

00:19:46.380 Uh, am I here because I'm seen as like the, um, you know, the guy that'll actually just get the

00:19:52.300 work done. You know what I mean? But not the visionary, you know, like there's all these

00:19:56.000 imposter syndromes. There's these areas where we second guess ourselves. I would say people,

00:20:00.800 um, especially us that, that might have low self-esteem, you're going to look for evidence

00:20:05.880 of why you're not good enough constantly, even when you are the expert, you know?

00:20:10.360 And so I think there, there is a little bit of a mindset scenario here, and maybe this

00:20:16.980 might help Tyson or at least a different way of looking at it, but your question specific

00:20:21.180 was building confidence in sharing what you know, right? So we're assuming that, you know,

00:20:26.440 something, you may not have the reps in quite yet, and you might be running your own story

00:20:32.920 about how you're not quote unquote, the expert. So who are you to have an opinion? That's when

00:20:38.060 you share what you know, and you focus your mindset about what, you know, not necessarily

00:20:44.500 saying you're the expert. This is one of the most profound, and by the way, this is the

00:20:50.180 most effective way to communicate anyway. So let me, let me explain. And Sean, I, I laugh

00:20:56.620 the fact that I didn't know your LDS until the last time we recorded. So, um, but, but I'll

00:21:01.880 use this analogy, um, at least in the church that I attend and, and, and by the way, we

00:21:07.280 get it wrong all the time, but, um, but when it's done correctly, it's highly effective.

00:21:12.740 So the first Sunday of every month is fast and testimony meeting. That means everyone's

00:21:17.820 fasting and you're sharing your testimony. When you share your testimony, you share what

00:21:24.040 you know, or you share what has been made available to you. You don't preach, you share.

00:21:33.260 And what's so great about that is I've taken that and I see it and I take that into work

00:21:39.140 and in the life, Sean, there's a drastic difference between you and I having a conversation

00:21:44.260 and me sharing what I know, right? If I share to you, like, Hey, Sean, man, like, I don't know,

00:21:50.980 maybe you're asking for something or you're like, I'm really struggling in this area.

00:21:54.740 And instead of saying, Hey, Sean, you know what you should do is this, this, this instead,

00:21:59.040 if I said, well, you know what? I'm not a hundred percent sure, Sean, but let me share

00:22:02.860 what has worked for me. When, when this occurred, this happened, blah, blah, blah. And I learned

00:22:08.160 this lesson and it really helped me. That's non-threatening by default. Human nature is whenever

00:22:13.980 someone quote unquote preaches to you, you immediately start evaluating. Oh, is he right? Is he

00:22:20.360 wrong? Is this applicable to me? Is it you literally stopped listening? The minute someone

00:22:24.760 starts preaching at you, telling you what you should or should not do. But when Sean shares

00:22:29.640 with me from a story perspective, like what's just worked for him, I actually don't run my story

00:22:37.320 about whether he's right or wrong. I just listen. And the reason why I can't argue. How do you argue

00:22:43.100 with Sean saying, Hey, when this happened, I learned this lesson. That's not right or wrong.

00:22:48.240 Sean's just sharing what worked for him. Doesn't make sense. And so it's a very, very powerful way

00:22:54.440 to share what, you know, by not preaching, but sharing what's been made possible to you through

00:23:00.400 an experience or lesson that you've learned. You know what? As you'd say that too, I, I had the

00:23:08.420 thought when you mentioned being with that group of guys, I see the mistake happen all the time with

00:23:14.020 guys that are, I guess you could say fake it till you make it, or, or they have this imposter syndrome,

00:23:19.220 or I don't even know why guys do it where they, they start talking like they know something that

00:23:24.320 they don't. And it's always obvious. It's always totally obvious. And you're like, man, this dude

00:23:29.600 is such a fake, like, it's so obviously fake, right? It's just like any other lie. You convince

00:23:35.240 yourself first. Everyone else knows. Yeah. Yeah. And, and then the alternative to that

00:23:41.840 is instead of faking it, just ask questions, except that these guys or these people you're

00:23:47.860 around know more about something than you do and be willing to ask so that you can be better. So you

00:23:54.140 can get to their level. And, uh, I actually thought of, you know, I, I was on a surf trip in the Maldives

00:24:00.480 and I've been surfing since I was 12. So I've been surfing for 32 years and I'm still not that

00:24:05.460 great. Not converted to some friends I have, but one of the, my friends I was with is a pro surfer.

00:24:11.260 And, uh, when I was with them, I was just, I asked questions. And so I could have been like,

00:24:16.140 oh, I've been serving. I, you know, I'm good. I'm having fun, but I still wanted, I knew there's an

00:24:20.960 edge I could get by being around and taking, you know, his knowledge. And so I asked questions and it's

00:24:26.340 funny. Cause he looked at me and the, and the answer was almost obvious, but it was great

00:24:31.600 because he was so willing and, and even excited to share. He's like, you know, explaining it.

00:24:37.280 Like I was literally like a, like a 12 year old, you know, like he's like, you know, this part of

00:24:42.740 the wave, if you get here, right, this is, where's it break. And he was literally explaining it to me.

00:24:48.020 Like I was a little kid and I was so grateful that he did that where most guys are unwilling to do

00:24:53.460 that. Cause they don't want to feel like a little kid. Yeah. Even in that example,

00:24:58.340 they'll stop listening. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. And then they'll blow it off. Yeah.

00:25:02.820 Yeah. And it was so helpful to me and it, and it improved my trip. I got better waves. I got

00:25:07.920 barreled. There was all these things that happened to my advantage because I was willing to be humble

00:25:13.000 and ask and learn from someone who knew more than I did. Yeah. You know what, Sean, you bring up a

00:25:17.380 really good point and I, we're totally running with Tyson's question here, but maybe another thought

00:25:22.200 that, that, that, that is not Tyson's question, but is a valuable thought process nonetheless.

00:25:28.440 And I'm reminded of it based upon what you said. Seldom do we ever hire houses. I don't hire

00:25:36.160 employees because they're experts in something. I actually hire them because of the kind of person

00:25:43.180 there are because their character period. Yes. We can learn things. Right. And, and so I,

00:25:51.580 and, and, and I think about any strong relationship, like if you know people in your life and I'm sure

00:25:57.660 Sean, you, you've had these people where you like, I trust this person, they will kill it. They,

00:26:04.000 they will find the desired outcome. They'll make sure it's done correctly. Like they're the reliable

00:26:09.020 employee that you're like, I love these employees. Right. And for the most part, that's my entire team.

00:26:14.460 They believe it or not, sometimes listen to this podcast. So I got to be careful what I say on here.

00:26:19.020 So, but, but nonetheless, they're stellar from that perspective. If they come to the table,

00:26:25.760 arrogant and like, I already know that then there's zero growth, big red flag, big red flag,

00:26:33.760 and there's zero growth. So, and, and what's funny is we fake it thinking, Oh, why didn't you show up

00:26:39.400 like this expert? So I can rub shoulders with this group? No, you need to show up genuine

00:26:45.900 and authentic. So that group loves you. Right. We, we all know people level up, right? We all know we

00:26:54.520 can learn things. That's not really, once again, I don't hire because they're an expert. I hire because

00:27:00.140 who they are and part of who they are is humble enough and eager enough to learn and to grow.

00:27:07.240 So that's why we hire them. We hire them for their potential, not their expertise in the moment.

00:27:13.040 And yeah, that's it. So it's okay not to be the expert. In fact, sometimes it's highly refreshing.

00:27:20.400 In fact, as, as weird as it may sound like I've, I've been thinking about, don't get me wrong. I'm

00:27:26.440 not stopped doing jujitsu, but I've thought about doing other forms of martial arts. So I could be the

00:27:32.380 green guy again. So I could go in and go, I know nothing and just be a sponge. There's actually,

00:27:39.780 there's a level of like refreshingness that comes with, I don't know. And I'm here just to learn

00:27:47.120 and to be into that state of mind is actually really, really like enjoyable. So anyhow, I think

00:27:53.460 we've beaten it up. Anything else you'd add before we move on? No, spot on.

00:27:57.120 Okay. All right. Mike Denman, what do you do to address an inner rage that you just can't seem

00:28:04.860 to get control of? You're laughing, but this is like a legit question. This is a totally legit

00:28:11.780 question, but do not take offense to the fact that Sean just laughed at your question. In fact,

00:28:16.440 Mike, Mike just get pissed off at you, Sean. And like, I know I just sparked a wall on you.

00:28:21.620 I wasn't laughing at the question. I was laughing at when that happens to me.

00:28:26.980 It sure seemed like you're laughing at the question. You know what, Mike, I'll send you

00:28:30.620 Sean's address and you guys can address it. But I, I was honestly laughing because I thought that

00:28:37.740 the time that it happens to me, really, the only time it happens to me is with my kids. If I'm being

00:28:42.260 totally honest, talking about transparency, I grew up in a household where, man, I got some beatings as a

00:28:48.660 kid, right? Like I, I got some whoopings and, uh, from my grandma, from my mom, it was funny. It was

00:28:54.260 always women too. My dad never once touched me when I was a kid, you know? And maybe it was

00:28:59.020 because I was only with him every other weekend. I don't know. Right. But he never, let me ask you

00:29:02.500 this. Let me ask you this. Um, when you have your rage, it, it, before you move on to the question,

00:29:09.640 I want to ask this why it's fresh in your mind. Um, you mentioned you got whoopings when you're a kid.

00:29:14.840 Um, do when, when you lose your temper, are you, are you mirroring your mom or your grandma in that

00:29:27.160 moment? Absolutely. Like it's almost freaky. Exactly. I was going to say, okay. Yeah. And I,

00:29:33.520 and I catch my, I especially caught myself. My mom passed this last year and she was sick with

00:29:39.540 cancer, you know, for a couple of years, just suffering, but I had a lot of great conversations

00:29:44.960 with her. And as I spoke to her, as I had more of these conversations with her, she told me how,

00:29:49.460 when she was a kid, her parents used to fight. And like, I know she got some beatings from my grandma

00:29:53.900 and stuff. Yeah. And she told me about fights that they had when they were a kid, when she was a kid.

00:29:59.720 And she never told me this before. I never knew this about them until now. And then I started

00:30:04.880 realizing the way I was reacting with my kids. Now I never once has like hit my kids the way I got

00:30:11.660 hit when I was, I was a kid. Um, but I find myself jumping into, into my automatic reaction is to do

00:30:20.920 what happened to me. Yeah. Yeah. It's the natural tendency that shows up. You got to stop myself and,

00:30:26.820 and like reign myself in. And so I, I literally will find myself like about to lunge at one of my kids

00:30:33.280 and then stop myself and clench my fists and, and just, and I've done that a bunch of times with

00:30:41.000 my kids. And I don't know if it's scary to them or what it is, or you can kind of see it on their

00:30:44.840 face. And then I have to have a conversation with them. Like, look, what you just said was totally

00:30:49.700 inappropriate. I'm sorry. I'm getting mad. And, and I've, and I've learned to talk through it with

00:30:55.240 them and let them understand how I'm feeling, how, you know, what they said was inappropriate and turn it

00:31:01.620 into a conversation instead of just, you know, physical, uh, uh, consequence. And so for me,

00:31:11.400 it's that kind of clenching my fist, you know, so that there's a physical aspect to it for myself

00:31:17.040 that I can feel where I tighten up and then breathing. And then my thought process has to go

00:31:23.400 immediately to, I have to break this cycle. My kids have to learn something different from me so

00:31:28.760 that when they have kids have this built in when they initial reaction. Yeah. Isn't to fly off the

00:31:34.800 handle. Like I used to get from my mom and grandma. Totally. Totally. You know, Mike, I'll, um, I don't

00:31:40.560 know, maybe I'm in a weird mood if I'm like discriminating myself on, on the podcast today.

00:31:46.300 Um, so I'll share a story, Mike, and I think it's applicable. So, um, I, my two boys,

00:31:54.120 I recently got divorced. My boys were one in three. It was my first summer full-time summer with them.

00:32:05.000 And, um, as anyone knows, daycare doesn't really work very well for a full-time worker, right? Like

00:32:14.580 you drop, I dropped these guys off at daycare after my working hours started and I had to pick them up

00:32:21.160 before my working hours were ended, right? Like it was never like a full day's work. Right.

00:32:27.660 And, and, and there's a little bit of Vic, just imagine, let me paint this picture.

00:32:31.280 You know, I, um, at this point, I'm still kind of a victim. My wife left me quote unquote,

00:32:38.500 my life was falling apart. I'm trying to work. You know, I, I got all these extra debts because the

00:32:45.840 court system just screws men over like money doesn't make sense, right? Like what I have to

00:32:52.240 pay versus what I make doesn't, it's impossible, right? Like I'm upside down. It's, it was a really

00:32:59.240 stressful time. It's an easy place to be angry. Yeah. And, and what's, what's funny about it

00:33:05.340 is I didn't even take advantage of the fact that I had my boys full-time

00:33:10.040 instead, instead I was completely focused on how poor my circumstance was now, uh, how unfortunate

00:33:18.520 it was. And I remember what would end up happening is I would work from home. I'd go to work. I'd pick

00:33:27.220 up my kids. I come home and I'd still try to work. Right. Cause I had to get my work done.

00:33:32.140 And, and so I'd multitask quote unquote multitask. And I would try to get work done while my kids

00:33:39.260 are at the house with me playing. And I remember, and this is probably what I shouldn't share,

00:33:44.720 but I'll do it anyway. Um, I remember one point I was just losing my shit and, um, and they're,

00:33:51.260 they're being playful. They're just playing. They're like being goofy, but in my opinion,

00:33:58.300 at the moment, loud and annoying, and I'm stressed out. And I remember I grabbed my son

00:34:04.340 and I lift him up and I pin him against the wall and I told him to shut up. And I'm like,

00:34:09.660 just shut up. Like I can't handle it. Right. And I remember putting him down and I saw the fear in

00:34:16.100 his face. And I was just like, huge dipshit. Right. Like why? Cause he's having fun. Cause he wants to

00:34:27.360 play. Cause he's harassing me. And, and ironically I could have replied to that thought internal thought

00:34:34.000 process. Like, yeah, it works more important, but is it? No, it's not. And that's actually when I

00:34:40.520 finally learned that you can't multitask with children, that I have to be fully present in

00:34:46.920 whatever it is that I'm doing. And so I, for the first time in my life, I would actually,

00:34:51.760 I'd pick them up and I would literally have them thought process of like, man, I have so much work

00:34:58.040 to do. I'm you know, like I would, I would evaluate, right. Those things that are like

00:35:02.960 stressing me out. And then I would say in my mind, fuck it. And then I go play Legos

00:35:08.640 and I would just throw it away. Like recklessly. I felt like I felt reckless. I should get this done.

00:35:15.160 I should do these things. And I'm like, I don't care. I'm having fun with my kids. And I would do

00:35:19.760 that until they go to bed and then I'd get stressed out. And then I'd just work late after

00:35:24.240 they go to bed. But I had to make that separation. I could not, I could not deal with work. I could

00:35:30.180 not deal with things while being with my children. It was impossible. And so Mike, I would suggest is

00:35:36.520 inner rage is sometimes when we don't give ourselves the gaps, when we're trying to be concerned about

00:35:44.700 one thing while doing something else. And it stretches us. And, and even today, like I still

00:35:50.300 have to watch this. Right. And I still have to like, go, Oh, wait, wait, wait a second. Why am I

00:35:55.260 trying to do this and be with my kids? Why am I trying to do this and do this other thing? Like,

00:35:59.640 no, I need to have gaps and margins in what I'm doing so I can be present in the moment. And, and

00:36:05.760 that's, that has been like a huge, huge thing for me. Um, and then the only last advice I would have,

00:36:12.040 and I've, I've had to do this in the past. Um, and this is actually on my list of considering doing

00:36:18.940 again is I have my kind of like my mission, right? Like my ethos or whatever. And, um, I used to

00:36:28.960 read it before going into the house at the end of work. And, um, so I could be intentional,

00:36:36.520 like literally intentional because think about it. It imagine you just walked in the house from work

00:36:43.260 and you weren't intentional. It just kind of mopey. Right. Versus if you chose to open the door,

00:36:51.360 excited to see your kids, like outwardly excited. Oh my gosh, how was your day? Like,

00:36:56.740 and you had good energy, how much that would mean to your children over a span of a year.

00:37:02.500 It'd be massive because guess what that feels like?

00:37:06.520 Dad's excited to see me. Dad loves me, right? Dad appreciates me. It literally would mean that

00:37:12.700 for your children. And, and it's as simple as being intentional in regards to how I say hello

00:37:17.880 when I come home. And sometimes a review of your mission of what you're kind of focused on before

00:37:23.180 going in the house might be kind of the, the level setting that you might need to be able to do

00:37:28.460 to kind of get your emotions in check before, um, before going in the house, man, I, one last thing,

00:37:36.520 um, inner rage is what it's an interpretation of something. Right. So I would get present to that.

00:37:46.660 I mean, I don't need it like sack cycle analyze here, but like most of us, whatever we have rage

00:37:53.320 over is not intended at the current circumstance. So like Sean, you're using the example of like,

00:37:58.920 you know, you get mad at your kids and all of a sudden you see a sense of your, probably your mom

00:38:03.440 and you, right? Well, there's a really high probability that what your kids were doing

00:38:08.200 didn't justify the reaction, but you're reacting literally as a 10 year old of when something

00:38:15.000 happened to you and you're projecting that on your children. Right. And, and so, so much of what

00:38:20.040 really makes us angry is not warranted in the moment. And it's actually something that we've

00:38:25.060 carried on from our pasts into our present. And one of the best ways to get that in check is to

00:38:31.000 understand where that's coming from. Uh, believe it or not, I have a thing about people eating

00:38:36.460 loud. I know it sounds super crazy. I I'm actually quite psycho, but, but it's a thing I got from

00:38:43.720 as a child. I can't stand it. Like it makes me angry. Right. So if my kid's sitting all eating with

00:38:50.320 his mouth open, I'm just like, I about lose my shit. So where did that come from? Came from my

00:38:57.720 childhood. Right. Um, but, but realize where those things come from. So then that way you can,

00:39:03.380 you can course correct and realize that the emotions that you're feeling aren't the emotions

00:39:07.920 of a 35 year old or Mike, I don't know how old you are. You're probably 21. You're a young buck,

00:39:12.560 but it, it, it's not coming from the, from the perspective of a 20 year old is probably coming

00:39:17.420 from the perspective of a 10 year old and something that has occurred to you in your past.

00:39:21.620 Yeah. And, and sometimes you just have to forget. I think you've nailed it when you said most of it

00:39:27.580 comes from your past and that you most of the time probably have to forgive someone or something

00:39:34.240 that happened to you, to you and your life and, and kind of let go of it. Um, because that's what

00:39:41.860 you attach yourself to. And that anger arises most of the time. I'm not saying that's always the case,

00:39:46.880 but maybe that's part of it too, is that you, you really just need to forgive and, and move on

00:39:53.100 from whatever, you know, deep down is, is creating that anger for you. Yeah, for sure. All right.

00:39:59.880 I mean, we're kind of rambling a little long on these. Sorry guys. All right. Luke Watts in recent

00:40:06.020 weeks, I've spent time renewing my, renewing my vision. This involves some time exploring values,

00:40:12.180 affirming goals, and letting go of a couple of things as new priorities have surfaced.

00:40:16.880 Due to my experience with COVID related politics and actions here in Australia. Tough place to be.

00:40:22.940 Much of this time was working quietly by myself. I want to renew the vision my wife and I have for

00:40:29.680 ourselves, uh, for ourselves and fully. How do you share and pursue your own vision and support your

00:40:36.400 wives to do the same as part of your marriage? Also, how do you maintain focus as a couple reminders

00:40:42.620 around the house, et cetera, uh, reminders around the house, family mission statement? What do you

00:40:49.200 have found that works for you? This is something my wife and I really have gotten really good at over

00:40:56.140 20 years of marriage. And that's number one, we always know each other's goals. We always know each

00:41:02.900 other's focus, our priorities, the things we're excited about what we want to improve in because

00:41:08.500 we share with each other constantly. Um, we also, it sounds like you guys are working together on

00:41:13.860 stuff, right? Like your wife's, you mentioned earlier, like your wife has this book and you're

00:41:17.720 like, Oh, we need to do this stuff. Like, it sounds like you were active. You're an active participant

00:41:22.200 in her set goal, right? Yeah. We're actively engaged in each other's lives and it's, it's,

00:41:28.900 so there is no, I mean, her goals are my goals, but then I also have my own plan. And so one thing

00:41:35.400 we started doing probably in the last, I don't know, eight or nine years is when we're planning

00:41:41.720 and we don't do it once a year, we do it like once a quarter, probably on average. And, uh,

00:41:48.100 we make our own plans, our goals, whatever they are for our business, for just personally,

00:41:55.180 things like that. And then we look at them together and it's amazing how many times they

00:42:02.320 line up, but because we communicate so often, we're almost always on the same page where a lot of our

00:42:08.640 goals are similar or even the exact same. And, and so that lines up, but then we also get to see

00:42:15.460 what's important to each other personally that we don't have as the same goals. And so the fact that

00:42:22.420 we even just see that on a fairly consistent basis makes a big difference. And then as far as our being

00:42:30.420 on the same page and, and planning goes, um, we have weekly family nights on Sunday nights, we do it in

00:42:38.760 our house where we line up our week. And so we're looking at, okay, we have this happening. We have this

00:42:45.980 happening. And that includes us, our kids, uh, all the things that they have, whether it's sports or

00:42:51.840 activities at school or whatever, put in all the non-negotiables. Okay. You have this meeting that you're

00:42:57.400 going to do. You have this zoom. You're going to do, you have these appointments. We both have it in each

00:43:02.140 other's calendars. So there's no guesswork. And then our kids understand that they're part of this

00:43:07.860 too. When it was just my wife and I, it was easier because there was just two of us. Then as kids came

00:43:12.620 in, then we had to involve them when they were old enough of, okay, you know, you have this, this,

00:43:17.820 this, and this speak now, because if you don't tell us about it and it's not in our calendar,

00:43:21.920 that's no longer a non-negotiable. So if it comes up last minute because of your, your lack of

00:43:28.900 planning or you're not getting a ride, you're not getting a ride. You're not, you might miss the

00:43:33.540 whole thing. And so it's not just my wife and I, but all of us are in tune on a weekly basis.

00:43:40.480 Um, and it just makes all of us more efficient, more effective. Um, but the biggest thing is that

00:43:45.580 we're constantly aligned in our parenting and our goals and our support of each other. All of that

00:43:53.220 comes with just the consistency of us knowing what's important to each other and then supporting

00:43:59.720 each other in that. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. I have nothing to add. I mean, I think just

00:44:05.800 everything that you just said, right. Involve your spouse. Uh, and sometimes maybe you don't have as

00:44:11.800 strong as alignment, you know, maybe your wife's like you're part of the iron council. That's that's

00:44:16.680 weird vision. Are you cuckoo in the brain? Like I am not interested. Then you write up your own

00:44:21.860 vision and you still share it with her. Right. Um, so she's aware. Don't, don't fall into the trap

00:44:27.860 of covert contracts. Like, Oh, I had this plan for us to be a certain way. And you're not communicating

00:44:33.100 that to her. So, um, so even if you're running, having to run solo, run solo and then properly

00:44:38.840 communicate what's happening, uh, and kind of what your goals are. And, and by the way, if you want to

00:44:43.460 just like a little tip, one of the best ways to get your spouse on board, share in a way that it's

00:44:49.400 inspiring, like actually share, like what kind of man you're going to show up as and why you're

00:44:56.500 doing this and why it's important and make sure that they're part of your plan. Um, and you know,

00:45:01.980 and let her make that decision if she wants to do the same thing in the future, but, um, overly

00:45:06.500 communicate, right. And be excited and stay excited about it. Yep. Yep. Totally. And that builds in some

00:45:12.520 accountability by nature, just by sharing that with her. So, all right, Justin Gelsma,

00:45:17.280 what are you investing in 2022? Any new investments, any continued investments,

00:45:24.640 any advice on creating more streams of income for oneself and family? Thank you.

00:45:30.880 It's, you know, with investments, I, the biggest investment I'll always make is in myself,

00:45:35.680 just getting better, um, in business, creating business, um, growing my business, you know,

00:45:41.880 whether it's recruiting new guys, training, coming up with training protocols, whatever it is,

00:45:47.460 just growth of businesses is where I invest most of my time and money and efforts. Um, and then,

00:45:55.640 you know, other investments just come with that. I mean, foundationally it's, it's, I, I save and

00:46:01.640 invest more in my money than I spend. So those are always multiple things, but I hate getting into

00:46:06.400 specifics because my situation's different than his. Right. Um, but as far as the multiple streams

00:46:12.160 go, I think you have to figure that out through process on your own. Um, you know, I always go to

00:46:17.940 cashflow quadrant with this for, by Robert Kiyosaki. First, you have to know who you are as far as what

00:46:24.580 quadrant you are most comfortable in. So, or, or that you, that gets you the most excited or that

00:46:32.080 you're the most proficient in, or, or that you want to be in. So some people literally just want

00:46:37.420 to be employees their whole life. Okay. Well, if that's the case, then extra income for you means

00:46:42.500 doing something part-time, you know, sometimes it's as simple as that go get something part-time

00:46:48.180 that earns you extra income. Uh, and a lot of times people are like, okay, I'll do that. They just

00:46:54.120 needed someone to tell them, but they don't necessarily want to go on their own and get another

00:46:57.800 part-time job. Um, and, uh, if you want to be self-employed, but you're an employee now, well,

00:47:04.540 maybe you start something on the side, whether it's something you're good at and you start turning

00:47:08.260 that into extra income on the side as a side hustle, you do that. If you want to be a business

00:47:14.160 owner, maybe you start either creating systems or buying into systems, whether it's a franchise sort

00:47:20.540 of thing, maybe you start in like an MLM or something like that. I don't know. Right. But you have to

00:47:25.380 figure that out, um, where you're engaged in some sort of a system that can start to build a business

00:47:31.140 that's self-sustaining for you. And maybe you start that on the side, but you have to through

00:47:36.320 process, I think, figure out what that extra, but the bottom line is you have to do it and you're

00:47:41.860 going to have to put in the time to do it. You're going to have to drop some things that aren't useful

00:47:45.380 to that, that, that don't serve that and then put extra time and focus. And I would say a minimum,

00:47:52.640 if you can't put in a minimum of 10 to 20 hours a week extra doing that thing to earn the extra

00:48:01.020 income, then don't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Good advice. Well, and it's funny

00:48:09.400 because so many people think like it's not work, right? It's like, no, it's still work. So, so if it

00:48:16.840 needs to be successful, you got to work at it just like anything else, you know? So yeah, being willing

00:48:21.540 to invest in the time, um, for, for us, you know, new investments, not really like I have some

00:48:26.720 business, like I mentioned earlier, kind of a business idea that I kind of want to play on a

00:48:30.900 little bit. Um, COVID is, is kind of slowed me down in regards to that, but, uh, we're probably

00:48:37.020 going to be building this year. So I, I, and I share this really from the perspective of, I think

00:48:42.640 there's times and seasons, you know what I mean? And so our season now is probably not to do

00:48:48.820 anything other than, than get this house built. You know what I mean? Um, and, and by the way,

00:48:54.700 um, it has an investment to it, right? Like there, if you're smart as a business owner,

00:49:01.840 right? Like you need to be having your, your business owner hat on. And, and so, and luckily

00:49:07.820 my wife and I are super aligned from that perspective, you know, it's like, you know, we were building a

00:49:13.060 house off a lake and it's like, okay, well, how does this work? Right? Well, no, no, no. There's

00:49:18.520 going to be retreats there. You know what I mean? Like this, this is how this property is going to

00:49:22.540 work. And this is how we're going, you know, we can Airbnb it, but we're also planning on doing

00:49:26.660 retreats at the lake as well. And, and so we're there. So this is an investment for us. And our hope

00:49:31.640 is that it's going to kind of pay for itself as well over time. So, but that's kind of what our focus

00:49:37.000 is. Cause, um, we're, we're building off cash. So, uh, I'm not willing to blow cash anywhere else

00:49:43.040 other than that, probably this year. Yeah. I had one more thought too. Most of the time when guys

00:49:47.500 ask this question, they're waiting for someone to give them some like hot tip, right? Oh, there's

00:49:52.300 this stuff or whatever. Right. But that's the key is you just got to start investing, man. Like just do

00:50:01.620 it. Whether it's mutual funds, whether it's, you know, put your money into a, I don't know,

00:50:06.400 like a, like an indexed fund or something, an S and P 500 index fund or something, whatever it is,

00:50:12.740 just start putting your money in something. Cause the hardest part for most people is starting

00:50:16.360 and they're waiting for like the perfect investment or whatever, before they start,

00:50:20.840 just start, just start. Meanwhile, if you would have invested a little five years ago,

00:50:24.760 you would have had at least something, you know, exactly. You know, and they do that with real

00:50:29.680 estate. They do it with stocks. They do it any quote unquote investment. The key is start.

00:50:33.880 Yeah. Copy. All right. Clinton Foss, F-A-U-S-S. Is that how you'd pronounce that?

00:50:40.840 I would. Foss, Clinton Foss. I have teenage nephews. How can I teach them valuable lessons

00:50:46.780 that are difficult to consider until after you have life lessons? Example, learning to manage

00:50:52.160 your finances before your finances manage you. Just start teaching basic principles,

00:50:59.220 whether you think they capture it or not. And, and kids are different. So your two nephews,

00:51:05.960 I mean, you might teach them a financial thing and the older one might not care, get it. And the

00:51:10.800 younger one might, you know? And so I think the key is to, to not feel like they're too young to start

00:51:17.600 teaching them basics or fundamentals. And I mean, that could be anything. It could be changing a tire,

00:51:22.120 you know, forget about financial things, just life lessons as they come up, you know, and, and, um,

00:51:30.260 you know, also the, the fact that it's nephews, you know, for me, it makes me think like he doesn't

00:51:35.840 have any of his own kids yet. Um, you know, and I think it's important that you, you want to be able

00:51:41.840 to teach them. I don't know if maybe they don't have a father figure in their life and that's why he's

00:51:46.080 asking. Um, you know, I think it's also different with nephews that when you're around them and that

00:51:51.940 you teach them as much as you can as a man and be that, that father figure in their life and show

00:51:57.360 them what masculinity is and teach them those things. Um, but also don't get so wrapped up in it. Um,

00:52:04.680 realize like you're not their father, you know, and like, yeah, that's something you want to do,

00:52:09.120 but also don't let it distract, you know, from everything else in your life as well. Um, just as a

00:52:16.060 word of caution, I mean, you know, but that's, it applies to your kids or anything else, but the

00:52:20.260 fact that he said it's his nephew, you know, that's the only thing I would worry is that you'd get so

00:52:24.880 worried about your nephews that you're trying to do it right all the time. I think it's just teach

00:52:30.600 them what, you know, like kind of the back to the first question, you know, of teaching them what,

00:52:35.380 you know, how you know it and understand it. And then you did your job. Yeah, totally.

00:52:42.100 Well, in a good resource, Clinton is, um, I love this book, but it's, um, outward mindset.

00:52:49.380 And in that book, they, they talk about how often in our relationships, especially with our

00:52:55.920 children, we have a tendency to like want to provide correction to them without an established

00:53:01.440 relationship. And it's the complete opposite, right? You need to have a really strong trusting

00:53:06.540 relationship established with them first before you're ever going to be in a position for them to

00:53:11.200 come to you for advice, right? So one good strategy, Clinton is how good is your relationship

00:53:17.260 with your nephews and just make sure that you have a solid relationship with them. So then that way

00:53:21.640 you are then in a position to actually provide some guidance and direction. Um, you'd be in their

00:53:27.360 uncle's not enough, right? By default, right? You need to work on establishing a stronger relationship

00:53:32.960 than just your title. And the most important thing and being an uncle is enough if you're an example

00:53:39.320 worth following. Right. And so I think the most important thing you can do is, is be that example

00:53:43.960 worth following, be, uh, something that they, someone they can look up to and that, that man,

00:53:50.480 that'll go miles. Yeah. All right. Thomas Daniels, what are the character, what are the character

00:53:58.080 qualities and virtues of a good follower employee and subordinate and the same as a good leader

00:54:03.540 character qualities and virtues? Are they the same as a good leader? Is what they're saying?

00:54:11.160 Yes. Are the character qualities and virtues of a good follower, the same as a good leader?

00:54:16.940 Oh, absolutely. There's it's, I was just reading a John Maxwell book right now. And John Maxwell,

00:54:23.140 I think is the premier voice on leadership. I mean, he's written like 80 something books,

00:54:30.220 I think on the topic, but this is the one I'm reading now, the self-aware leader by John

00:54:34.140 Maxwell. So it's one of his newer ones. Um, and it, and right before he even starts the chapters that,

00:54:40.980 um, before you can be a good leader, you need to be a good follower. Um, and I, every book I've read

00:54:48.520 by him, he says that, right? So if you have the, the first and foremost voice on leadership in the

00:54:54.980 world, in my opinion, saying that you need to be a good follower before you can be a good leader

00:54:59.620 in every one of his books he's written, it's probably saying something. Yeah. You know? And,

00:55:05.680 and so that's, I don't have any more than that except yes. Yeah, I agree. Um, yeah, I think that's

00:55:15.640 good enough. All right. Sam Broadway, besides time blocking or task stacking, do either of you have

00:55:21.840 any specific strategies you use to increase your efficiencies while working?

00:55:25.500 Uh, time blocking and task stacking, anything else? I mean, honestly,

00:55:34.400 either of those methods, I don't know if I use them or not because I don't know what it's called.

00:55:40.680 So I don't know if that's what I'm doing or not, but I can tell you that for me, the most important

00:55:46.280 thing to make sure I'm the most efficient is catch myself not being efficient. So I have it even in my

00:55:54.200 battle plan. Um, ironically for, for the quarter that I catch myself not being productive and

00:56:02.620 immediately take action into being more efficient and productive. So if I'm, if I get off course,

00:56:12.100 you know, I talked about our planning and kind of knowing having our non-negotiables. And then

00:56:16.880 each day I have a plan going into the day and it doesn't always go exact, right? It's like,

00:56:21.960 sometimes things come up. The other day I was raining. My son wanted to go play in the rain.

00:56:25.520 So I did that with him for an hour and that took me off course. So I didn't stop myself in the middle

00:56:30.060 of playing with him and be like, this is not productive. I got to get back to work. I just

00:56:35.640 made that one of the more important things. And then when I came in and took off all my wet clothes,

00:56:41.440 then it was like, okay, now what do I need to do? Right? Where was I? What needs to get done?

00:56:46.780 What's at the top of the priority lifts and let's do it. And then if I got distracted later by

00:56:51.980 whatever, a push notification came up on my phone and all of a sudden I find myself on Instagram,

00:56:57.740 you know, I need to stop myself. Is this helping me? Is this serving the purpose I'm trying to do

00:57:03.960 today? Um, you know, on an hourly basis, I try and catch, I got this from Ed, my lad years ago,

00:57:10.020 probably like, I don't know, 18, 19 years ago of just trying to catch yourself in situations and

00:57:17.880 then reevaluate hourly is what I'm doing right in this moment serving me. And, uh, so that's my

00:57:25.940 tactic that I've used for a long, long time. Something I use years ago. I actually track my

00:57:32.200 week in 15 minute increments every single day. I just did it for like two weeks so I could identify

00:57:39.360 all my time wasters. So maybe something to consider because I think if you do that, you'll realize

00:57:45.920 like time's not the problem, right? Like we have a tendency to do that. Like, Oh, I wish I had more

00:57:50.700 time. No, you evaluate your time and you'll realize you actually have plenty of time to get what you

00:57:56.680 need to get done. So, um, that's, that's been useful for me in the past. The other thing is, um,

00:58:02.680 uh, prioritize and, and delegate that's, that's probably been really big for me is sometimes I'll

00:58:10.860 latch on to something. Um, I think subconsciously because I want to do it because it's a distraction

00:58:17.220 and it seems more enjoyable, but it's not the thing I should be working on. So the only thing I'd add,

00:58:23.420 Sam is just prioritize and make sure that you're working on, um, the, the correct priority items,

00:58:29.120 you know, and, and I really liked Stephen Covey's, you know, evaluation or priority that way,

00:58:34.220 you know, his four quadrants, you know, urgent, important, not urgent and important. Right.

00:58:39.260 And just be clear on, on what you really should be working on and what could really not, what could

00:58:47.800 be pushed off that and probably should be, but you're attracted to it because it's fun or due to

00:58:53.660 some other reason. I I'm really glad you said that because that's probably what I'm best at

00:58:59.100 as far as efficiency. I'd say the first three to five calls I make every single day are getting

00:59:04.260 other people to do things for me. Yeah. You know, whether it's in most of the time, obviously it's

00:59:09.220 staff, but sometime it's someone on the team that's better at something that I am or whatever that

00:59:13.400 needs to get done is calling them and making sure that is getting done for the day. And then I'll

00:59:17.940 follow up with them later to see if it makes sure it got done. But, uh, but yeah, that's a huge part

00:59:22.940 of it is that delegation as well. Yeah. Okay. Uh, Joe Mead, how do you gain a level of tolerance

00:59:29.780 with coworkers when it's hard to see past laziness and a contempt of idle chit chat?

00:59:36.660 Gaining tolerance with coworkers.

00:59:40.140 It's you, I'm assuming he wants to be a leader, right? It sounds like he wants to be in or is in a

00:59:46.580 leadership position. And so what you have to realize if you're in any leadership position

00:59:51.680 is it's the 80, 20 rule, right? 20% of the people do 80% of the work. And so what that means is most

01:00:00.540 of them are going to be uninspired, quote unquote, lazy. They're not going to be as hard of workers.

01:00:06.340 They're, you know, it's, it's kind of how we're taught. It's our system, right? You're taught as a

01:00:11.000 kid to be a good employee. You get to be a good employee and they, you know, they pay you just enough

01:00:15.660 to not quit. And in return, you work just hard enough to not get fired. And so that's going to

01:00:19.440 be the majority of the people. You're not going to get a lot of go-getters. Um, and that's human

01:00:23.500 nature. And then most of them are, are not going to be your top performers. And you just have to

01:00:29.240 accept that about human nature and then, and focus on what they are good at and what their good

01:00:35.000 qualities are still praise them for that. Uh, and in my business, I call it EPR and courage,

01:00:41.000 praise, and recognize. And so every time I have a conversation with somebody, regardless of

01:00:45.580 how they perform, I make sure that I praise them authentically. Right. And it has to be real.

01:00:51.220 It has to be a real thing about them that I appreciate about them or that I like about them

01:00:55.300 or that they're good at. Um, and make sure I tell them that, but I don't have the expectation

01:01:01.080 maybe necessarily that they're going to be one of my top performers, but if I could just get them to

01:01:05.800 do that a little bit more, then that's a win. And so I think not going in with these super high

01:01:11.680 expectation that, and I'm also assuming that this guy's a high achiever, a high performer,

01:01:15.700 you know, in a leadership position. And so he expects everyone to be like him.

01:01:20.420 That's not going to happen either. Right. And that's any business, right? Like McDonald's goes

01:01:24.440 through 30,000 applications to get one manager. Right. And so how, how many frustrating employees

01:01:30.780 do they go through to get one manager, right? One quality person who does a good enough job.

01:01:36.680 Um, that's any business majority of people aren't going to do it. They're not going to do it. Well,

01:01:40.340 they're not going to stick with it again. Look at the IC there. There's like, Ryan's got 1100

01:01:45.380 members now, whatever it is, but I guarantee there's been tens of thousands of guys who have

01:01:50.740 signed up. Right. And so there's a small percentage that actually go past a few calls.

01:01:57.540 That's just business, right? That's just the way it is. Now, do you wish and hope that all those men

01:02:02.740 would change their lives and affect their homes and their communities with it? Yeah. And that keeps us

01:02:08.940 small though. Sometimes if we spend too much time getting upset about the people that aren't doing

01:02:14.560 it instead of focusing on the ones that are. And then, so in saying that, no, that's human nature

01:02:20.520 and then find the 20 percenters and spend most of your time with them. Yeah. Yeah. I can't help Sean,

01:02:26.140 but, but think too, that sometimes when we, when we, when we're focusing on our coworkers, right.

01:02:32.840 And their lack of work or whatever, there's a little bit of like comparison happening, right?

01:02:37.320 A little bit of a, why am I busting ass and they're not pulling their weight or whatever.

01:02:41.800 And, and I would just say, just make sure you're not doing that. Right. Cause that's toxic.

01:02:46.060 Like just realize that, Hey, you're doing your job. Why? Cause it's your job.

01:02:49.900 Right. Yeah. And you're going to kill it. And it doesn't matter if they're pulling their weight or

01:02:55.120 not, you're going to do your job. And so find honor in how you show up regardless of your coworkers,

01:03:02.760 even regardless of your spouse. And just make sure that you're in alignment with what you know

01:03:08.400 and, and how you should show up at your job. Yeah. I like it. Okay. Eric Swanson.

01:03:16.800 What can I do to find my purpose? I haven't found my story. When someone asks what I do,

01:03:22.540 I can tell you my job, but not what I do. I've read the books. I've taken the tests,

01:03:28.420 but I'm still not there. I'm not, I'm not lost because of that. I'm not lost because that would

01:03:35.180 mean I know I'm trying to get somewhere. Kind of an interesting question. It's deep. It's like,

01:03:42.260 what is he, does it say what he does by the way? Like what his job is? No, no, unfortunately not. Yeah.

01:03:48.360 I mean, that's so, I think that's, he is the majority of people in our country. You know,

01:03:58.380 I don't know about the rest of the world, but I think in the United States, the majority of people

01:04:02.200 just feel like they're in the rat race. They're just kind of going through the motions, just kind of,

01:04:08.020 you know, not being fulfilled in the work that they're doing, not feel like it's moving them

01:04:15.320 towards any sort of vision that excites them or, or, you know, really fills that, that innate feeling

01:04:24.760 that I think all of us have that we're supposed to do something special with our lives. Yeah. And so

01:04:29.780 I think first it's, it's figuring out what you can do in that job to, to where you are now. Yeah.

01:04:40.120 Where you are now to be fulfilled, like find something to attach it to. That's going to

01:04:44.740 give you purpose. And then if you can't, it's time to start looking at other options. You know,

01:04:52.320 beyond that, I don't, I don't know. It's such a deep question, right. As far as like, oh, I don't know

01:04:59.560 what vision I have because I don't, I don't know if I'm lost because I don't know where I'm headed

01:05:04.640 anyways. Um, that, that just, it means he's drifting and that's what most people do. They

01:05:10.480 drift. So make a plan. It's, it's, it sounds like you're not even trying. If I'm being honest,

01:05:17.600 it sounds like you're, you're just drifting and okay with it. Now, maybe you're not okay because

01:05:23.980 you're, you're asking the question, but the way you ask the question tells me, um, you're not trying.

01:05:29.880 Right. And so I think it's put more effort into figuring something else out, coming up with the

01:05:36.540 vision for yourself, getting excited about something, finding a purpose and whether it's

01:05:42.860 right or not, at least pursue it. So you can figure out if it's right or not. And then along that path,

01:05:47.540 maybe you'll find the thing that grabs you, grabs ahold of you and gives you that purpose.

01:05:51.620 Yeah. I think knowledge and purpose I'd put in the same category, right. And there's data or

01:05:59.480 information that you, you know, there's information, you know, you don't know. So like

01:06:04.320 stuff, I know, I don't know. I don't know how to do brain surgery. Right. I know. I don't know how

01:06:08.740 to do that. And then there's the, the, you don't know that you don't know it. And, and that's probably

01:06:15.880 where your quote unquote purpose is. It's not even on the radar. You're not even aware of it. So how are

01:06:22.300 you supposed to find it? And, and it goes back to what Sean said, you try stuff and, and we take it,

01:06:28.540 we experience and we try something and we pivot and we adjust. And Ryan is a perfect example of

01:06:34.120 this, right. Is he started order of man because he started a stupid, I shouldn't say stupid. He

01:06:40.120 started a financial podcast. If he didn't try the financial one, he wouldn't even enjoy the medium

01:06:48.120 of podcasting, which never would have even opened up the opportunity probably for him to start the

01:06:54.500 order of man podcast. So it's very like, sometimes you don't know until you're on the path of trying

01:07:00.420 something. So, and, and, and the other part of this is like, I know semantics, but language has

01:07:06.960 meaning. So find my purpose. I would rephrase that Eric and create it, create your purpose. Don't find

01:07:15.440 it. It's, it's not going to be in a book. Um, it might, you might spark ideas or whatever,

01:07:20.860 but there's probably something you need to create and you're not going to know until you start creating

01:07:25.560 things and then going, Nope, that's not it. Let me try something else or whatever. Right. And I can't

01:07:30.680 help, but think this is mindset, right? Like I, I don't know. And maybe it's because of Hamilton last

01:07:36.780 night, right? One of the closing songs that I really loved about that was, um, it was about legacy,

01:07:43.860 right? You don't determine what your legacy is. That's so good.

01:07:46.840 And, and what was great about it is, um, I don't want to give anything away, but like I walked away

01:07:55.360 last night going children, fatherhood, ultimately what matters? Well, Eric, are you a father? Then you

01:08:05.940 just found your purpose, right? Like I have to remind myself often the priority. And sometimes the priority

01:08:12.440 is not accolades of man. It's not the honors of men. Sometimes actually the purpose is actually

01:08:20.700 something as simple as being a great father and a great husband.

01:08:26.220 Yeah. Nailed it. It's, it's, it's, I, I think this question has to be coming from a younger single

01:08:32.920 guy, right? And this could be an issue if the dude's like 68, you know, in his job feeling,

01:08:38.440 he's been doing the same thing for 42 years, right? That's, that could be an issue. Um, but

01:08:44.120 either way, he's got to make that decision, like you said, but then I think it's also important.

01:08:48.740 Most of the time when we use the word purpose or vision, we think it has to be this huge change

01:08:53.500 the world thing. And for some people that's true, but they don't start with wanting to change the

01:08:58.500 world. They start with wanting to change themselves. And maybe they lead into being able to change the

01:09:03.440 world through that process, but they might land at being a good husband and a good father and a good

01:09:10.220 member of their community. And that was their purpose. And they did it well. And they were a

01:09:15.780 good example and they helped other people do the same within their circle of influence. There's

01:09:20.840 plenty of purpose. That's worthy purpose in that it doesn't have to change the whole world. You know,

01:09:26.620 it could just, it could just be your, your home, your family. Yeah. And that's enough.

01:09:30.460 And then sometimes like, what's the best, what's the best, um, purpose is one that you're called

01:09:37.360 to because you want to serve now. So you look good, but you show up because you want to serve.

01:09:43.700 And then I can't, you know, like once again, Hamilton, one of my favorite books of all time

01:09:48.180 is the real George Washington. Amazing book. If you want to read, um, up on the history of George

01:09:54.140 Washington, he had zero, like, I shouldn't say zero, but like his whole role as a founding father

01:10:02.260 was out of service. And, and, and because his desire to serve, put him in a position to ultimately

01:10:10.180 serve in the most profound way, but it wasn't because he was seeking like some great ass,

01:10:17.160 like great honors. Yeah. I didn't want to be King. Right. Yeah. That's why he stepped down,

01:10:22.820 which, which we imagine if he didn't, how much different things would be. Right. So his,

01:10:29.220 his intentions were pure and they're from a place of service. And so maybe that's another area to look

01:10:34.260 in. It's like, where, where are you passionate enough that you're willing to serve? That's a

01:10:37.920 great point. It's easy to find purpose. If you just start volunteering for things.

01:10:41.600 Yeah. Totally. Yeah. All right. Steven, um, in peril, uh, do you recommend BJJ as a good cross

01:10:48.680 training with boxing? I'm relatively, uh, a relatively experienced boxer, but I'm not even

01:10:54.980 sure I could recognize BJJ if I saw people doing it. That's funny. Um, I think it's good for anything.

01:11:02.600 I was doing Kenpo, um, you know, as, uh, Brown belt and Kenpo, um, then moved. So I was super far

01:11:13.000 from the gym. I was going to, it was hard to continue to go there. I, I couldn't find any Kenpo

01:11:17.500 gyms near me, found Jitsu dough and started that didn't like it because it was more kicking base and

01:11:24.020 less, you know, round well-rounded in my opinion for me. Yeah. Um, and then, um, fell into jujitsu

01:11:32.420 because I wanted my kids to start. It's actually funny. Uh, what is it? Warrior kid, um, you know,

01:11:39.260 by Jocko. Yeah. Yeah. I bought that book for my boys and then, um, got them into jujitsu and then,

01:11:46.520 you know, then got my daughter and then I started doing it, you know, and now it's been a couple of

01:11:50.760 years, but, um, once I started, I was like, Holy smokes, where's this been my whole life? Right.

01:11:56.800 Like everything I learned to get to Brown belt and Kenpo, I'm like, I'm so much more effective

01:12:02.300 after three months in jujitsu. And so the difference is they're two totally different

01:12:08.940 animals from boxing. Um, I did boxing a little bit too, but it's their night and day, but I think

01:12:17.520 the aspects you'll gain from it is you're going to know what to do. If you go to the ground, which

01:12:22.200 if you're just a boxer, you're going to have no clue and you're going to get wrecked. If you come

01:12:27.860 across somebody who knows what they're doing on the ground. And so I think it's essential that you

01:12:31.960 add that to your entourage of understanding. Um, what it will also do is, I don't know if it's a

01:12:38.900 better workout or not than boxing because boxing super high cardio is different. It's very different,

01:12:44.640 but it's also, um, you're not going to get the head trauma that you, and the body trauma

01:12:52.640 that you get with boxing. And so longevity will be on your side in jujitsu that you don't

01:13:01.080 get with boxing. So it's, I'd, I'd be all for it. I mean, you're more of the expert than

01:13:07.340 I am, but just having a background in other martial arts and now jujitsu being the only thing

01:13:12.800 I want to do, I'd say do it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it depends on good cross training.

01:13:19.240 What's, what's that mean? Right. Cross training as you compete to be better from a self-defense

01:13:24.960 perspective. Does it mean just like, I want to do something that helps my boxing. You know what I

01:13:30.180 mean? Like it's a supplement to boxing or is it a supplement to self-defense? So I think it really

01:13:34.740 depends. I mean, if, if you were looking for something to maybe like, um, open the horizons of your

01:13:42.560 boxing, then I would say Muay Thai and doing some Muay Thai standup with your boxing would probably

01:13:47.920 be like super add some, I mean, you might throw in some accidental elbows because you might like

01:13:53.240 be getting your Muay Thai and your boxing mixed up. But, but I think standup from a Muay Thai

01:13:57.920 perspective would be awesome for a boxer. Right. And it would be kind of a natural kind of transition a

01:14:04.180 little bit. Um, but if you're talking about self-defense, then yeah, I'd say, well, you need to

01:14:09.160 address ground fighting and grappling. Um, if you're, if you're, if you're feeling pretty good

01:14:14.440 around your standup. And so I would, of course I'd say jujitsu is your, your best bet for the ground

01:14:20.360 and grappling side of things. So we'll look at MMA too. You look at the base now for MMA as far as the

01:14:27.900 best fighters and what all of them agree on is that you need to be good at boxing. Yep. You need to be

01:14:34.460 good at wrestling. You need to be good at jujitsu. Like those are the three majors, um, they all agree

01:14:41.040 on now. Yeah. And the only thing I debate is like, some guys may not go into boxing, but they'll be

01:14:45.720 just at least Muay Thai or Muay Thai wrestling and jujitsu. Right. But some form, that's the thing.

01:14:50.860 A lot of them have a Taekwondo or a Kempo or, you know, whatever it is background, Muay Thai, a lot of

01:14:56.560 Muay Thai. Um, but they still, they get taught and coached into more fundamental boxing. Even those

01:15:04.820 guys with that background. Yeah. Cause they need to figure out how to counter everything else. Yeah.

01:15:08.700 Yes. Yeah. All right. Last question. Uh, Marcus, uh, S S Sajira. Sorry, man. Sorry, Marcus on the topic

01:15:19.640 of creating personal accountability. How do you ensure that, that over time you can measure accountability?

01:15:25.300 For example, if I have a 12 week battle plan and I complete my daily objectives and weekly

01:15:30.120 benchmarks, are there things I should look out for as a warning to ensure that I'm not just checking

01:15:35.740 the boxes? Yeah. I, I, I had this question come up a couple of times for me, um, on the last battle

01:15:46.300 team I was on because I, I got a hundred percent. It's a lot of the time. Yeah. And I had some guys

01:15:52.480 asking like, does that mean your plan's too easy? Like, are you not pushing yourself? And, uh, it

01:15:59.080 made me honestly evaluate it. And my answer was no, I'm just getting this stuff done because it's in

01:16:06.360 front of me. Um, but I think there's a difference of making a plan so you can check off the boxes

01:16:11.840 so that it's easy so that you can feel like you're accomplishing something and actually getting it

01:16:16.880 accomplished. Yeah. And so if you're checking the boxes and that let's say it's fitness and you want

01:16:23.340 to be a certain, uh, body fat percentage and certain weight, you can make that goal. And then there's

01:16:29.440 daily things you have to do. And if you did your workout, you know, whatever was in your plan,

01:16:34.920 you know, 30 minutes of workout, no matter what it is, uh, just get that 30 minutes in. And you were

01:16:40.000 able to check that you had to do it to check it. Um, and then at the end of the quarter,

01:16:46.020 you dropped some that maybe you didn't hit your goal, right? Maybe your goal was 12% body fat,

01:16:51.520 you know, 180 pounds, you've got to one 85 and 14%, but you started at 16, you know? And so you

01:16:58.200 didn't hit the goal, but it got you closer. Then you're not just checking the boxes.

01:17:03.520 Yeah. If it's working, it's not a box. If, if what you're doing is working,

01:17:07.880 then who gives a shit? If it's checking the boxes, it's working, right?

01:17:11.400 Yes. But if you're just like we mentioned before, just going through the motions

01:17:15.000 and kind of like last minute, okay, let me throw this together. And you're, you're doing it poorly

01:17:21.260 just to check off the box. Then that's where we get ourselves in trouble, I think.

01:17:26.100 Yeah. And I think that's, you know, in the battle plan, we have these, these,

01:17:29.900 I always call them milestones. I can't remember what we call them. Do we call them milestones?

01:17:35.240 The checkpoints?

01:17:35.800 The checkpoints. Yeah. I mean, that's the whole point of the checkpoints, right?

01:17:39.000 It's like, yeah, it's like, okay, I'm a month into doing X tactic for this objective. Is it

01:17:44.700 working? No, it's not. Let me pivot. Now, if that's not quick enough, you could come up with

01:17:49.700 checkpoints during the week, right? Like break it down even on a weekly basis. Like, okay,

01:17:53.780 if I'm going to lose 10 pounds in 30 days, well, that means I should be losing roughly about three

01:18:00.380 pounds every single week, right? Two or three pounds. Well, are you, you know? And if the

01:18:07.220 answer is no, then okay, what do you need to do to adjust? Right? So I, yeah. How's this? The fact

01:18:13.740 that you're thinking through this is, is exactly what you should be doing, right? I, you're,

01:18:18.380 you're being intentional saying, Hey, you know what? I just don't want to be checking the boxes

01:18:22.020 and I want to make sure that it's, it's pushing forward. The question is, well, if it's pushing

01:18:26.440 forward, then you're not just checking the boxes. If it's not progressing you forward,

01:18:30.260 then obviously you are just hitting the boxes. So what do you need to adjust? And, and I would say

01:18:35.260 most guys fell on the opposite of this, right? Where they'll go, well, Sean, if I, if I do these 20

01:18:42.800 things, part of the physical, I'm going to have way more success. And then in three weeks,

01:18:48.080 they burn out and then they're off the wagon and it's all falling apart. So it's, they start

01:18:53.820 sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes the moderacy being moderate is actually exactly what needs to happen.

01:18:59.560 You know, it's amazing. I mean, think of it this way. If you look at just America alone

01:19:04.660 and what would change from a physical perspective for people's physical wellbeing, if we all stop

01:19:12.280 drinking soda, that's it. No diet change, no, nothing else, no workouts, no nothing. Just

01:19:17.920 stop drinking soda. It'd be drastic. And, and sometimes we have a tendency sometimes because

01:19:26.020 we're higher achievers, right? We'll come in and we'll go like, Oh, I'm going to do that.

01:19:30.000 Actually, maybe you should just drop, stop drinking soda. Maybe that's all that needs to happen.

01:19:34.800 Yeah. That, and that's nailed it because most people think of some big goal, you know, maybe you

01:19:42.900 want to lose 50 pounds or whatever, like you said, and then they're just thinking of the working out,

01:19:47.160 but it takes, I mean, realistically, if you want to drop 50 pounds and keep it down and become lean

01:19:52.160 and all those things, you're not only, you're going to have to start with bad habits. So maybe it's

01:19:57.020 dropping soda. Then you're going to need to add supplements. Then you're going to need to work

01:20:02.820 out. Then you're going to need to probably get a trainer. Then you're going to, right. And it did

01:20:07.940 like, you're going to have to add things as you go. But if you jump in with the, I'm going to cut this

01:20:13.360 out. I'm going to add these supplements. I'm going to get the trainer. I'm going to do all this.

01:20:16.820 It's too much. So instead of doing that, that first quarter, you break it down into those bite

01:20:21.480 sized chunks. And I think that's what I got crap for because that's what I was doing, but I was

01:20:26.980 accomplishing all of it. And after a year went by, I had achieved that goal. But if I put all of that

01:20:32.240 stuff into my first quarter to quote unquote, push myself, I wouldn't have followed through. I wouldn't

01:20:37.840 have done it. And I wouldn't have carried off. You need those little successes to prove to yourself

01:20:42.640 that you're worthy of accomplishing that goal. If you make it too much too soon, you trick yourself.

01:20:50.540 It's kind of comes back to that confidence thing at the beginning of the call, right? You're going to

01:20:54.980 decrease your confidence in yourself by, and it's, I'm not saying don't think big, right? But you need to

01:21:02.120 back-engineer it and spread out the tasks that need to get done to achieve that goal so that you

01:21:09.420 build up that confidence, that self-talk, become worthy of the things you want to accomplish,

01:21:14.720 et cetera, et cetera.

01:21:15.320 Totally. Yeah. I mean, it's that maybe we could paraphrase it in, it's the difference of creating

01:21:19.740 a battle plan based on motivation versus discipline. Be careful that you're not just fired up.

01:21:26.760 You know what I mean? You're like, yeah. Versus like, are you fully committed to actually

01:21:31.420 honoring your commitment and your word and doing those things every single day?

01:21:35.220 Yeah. It's like, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, right?

01:21:37.820 Yeah. Yeah. Totally. All right. Let's go ahead and wrap up. So, I mean, we mentioned a couple of

01:21:42.700 things and I, and I think we just focus on battle plans for the, for the coming year. So to sign up

01:21:49.380 for the battle ready, that's order of man.com slash battle ready. And that allows you to sign up and

01:21:56.020 it's free. So sign up and get that since especially you guys listening that are, are waiting for an

01:22:03.920 opening in the iron council. That's kind of one thing that you can do to be kind of focused.

01:22:07.580 And by the way, even if you're like, Hey, Kip, I'm joining the iron council once enrollment opens

01:22:12.780 back up. So I'm not going to be worried about it. I would suggest get a battle ready, get your battle

01:22:17.340 plan figured out through battle ready anyway, because that will even assist you as you join the iron

01:22:22.900 council because you'll be kind of aligned with us in regards to what the battle plans look like and

01:22:27.800 kind of what's expected of you. For those that want to get that battle planning app on your iOS

01:22:33.860 Android device, go to the numbers one, two or 12 week battle planner.com to download and purchase that

01:22:43.500 app. And then as of course, as always, you can follow Mr. Mickler on the Insta and Twitter at Ryan

01:22:51.640 Mickler. What else? I think that's it. You know what? I just had the thought as you were saying

01:22:56.860 this, especially with the battle plan and it being closed right now. Um, I've recommended a couple

01:23:01.640 guys to the IC and told them to go to order man.com and they're like, Oh, it's closed. I couldn't get

01:23:07.580 on. What do I do in the meantime? And my advice was just start listening to the podcast on a regular

01:23:12.880 basis. Um, read sovereignty, get the book and read it and, and do that until it opens up. If you stay

01:23:19.780 engaged, when it opens up, then you sign up and you get started. Don't just chalk it off as, Oh,

01:23:25.640 it's not open. Well, I guess I can't do it. Stay engaged, start doing some things and then

01:23:30.820 and connect with this on, you know, on Facebook, right. Or other ways. Right. And that's facebook.com

01:23:36.700 slash group slash order man as well. So Sean, thanks again, brother. Appreciate it.

01:23:42.580 As always love the conversation. All right, guys, stay tuned, stay connected with us. Um,

01:23:48.080 even on YouTube as well. And until a Friday field notes, take action and become the men you were meant

01:23:55.180 to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

01:24:00.040 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - January 05, 2022

Tackling Objectives in 2022, Advice for Building Confidence, and Addressing Your Inner Rage ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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