Order of Man - March 29, 2023


Talking With Your Kids About Suicide, What to do When Things Fall Apart, and Reconciliation With Your Father ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 3 minutes

Words per Minute

183.1321

Word Count

11,653

Sentence Count

990

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

8


Summary

When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. You are not easily deterred or defeated. Resilient. This is your life, this is who you are, and who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:05.960 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.380 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.380 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.580 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.940 Kip, what's up man? Great to see you this morning.
00:00:27.140 I like that we do this on Mondays because it just starts my week off right.
00:00:31.360 It certainly does. It's not convenient.
00:00:34.380 On Mondays are crazy for me.
00:00:35.480 Mondays are horrible when you get back to work and you got a thousand things to do.
00:00:39.320 We could talk about that though.
00:00:40.940 If it doesn't work, let's bum it back to later.
00:00:45.220 Let's be frank. It's just like working out. Is it ever convenient?
00:00:48.100 No, it's actually not.
00:00:49.560 If it serves us, let's stick with it.
00:00:52.800 I was thinking about it.
00:00:54.740 My schedule is a little wonky this morning.
00:00:57.140 I couldn't get into the gym.
00:00:59.220 Actually, I could not.
00:01:00.200 Just based on some commitments and obligations I have, I just could not get into the gym this morning.
00:01:05.240 One of the questions that we get from guys a lot quite often is,
00:01:08.640 what do you do when you have a weird schedule?
00:01:14.280 Barring being on call, maybe your LEO, medical community, something like that, being on call,
00:01:21.280 you know your schedule at least 24 hours ahead of time.
00:01:24.380 It might change from week to week, but you know, usually a couple of days before.
00:01:28.360 And last night I went through my entire week.
00:01:30.520 I sat down in front of my computer.
00:01:32.100 I went through my entire week and it's not ideal.
00:01:35.820 It's not the way perfectly I would love to have it.
00:01:38.420 This week is just requires some flexibility, but I went through last night and I just plan
00:01:43.120 it out.
00:01:43.460 I'm like, okay, well, I can't do my workout in the morning, but I can do it at two o'clock
00:01:46.440 this afternoon.
00:01:47.400 So I penned it in for two o'clock tomorrow.
00:01:49.760 I have this, the next day I have this, the next day I have that.
00:01:51.940 And it's really different this week, but that doesn't keep me from planning it out because
00:01:56.700 I know ahead of time what it is.
00:01:58.460 So guys, if you're on a weird schedule, I understand if you're on call, that makes it
00:02:03.440 a little harder, but you all get your schedule a week ahead of time.
00:02:06.940 So if you can't do it at 7am, get, grow some adaptability.
00:02:11.700 We talked about it on Friday's call.
00:02:13.220 Be resilient.
00:02:14.180 You know, don't say, Hey, I can't do it because I can't do it at seven.
00:02:16.560 Just figure out a different time to do the things that are important to you.
00:02:20.000 Yeah.
00:02:20.400 And I think the key there, I was even thinking about this last night.
00:02:23.740 I think the key is intentionally planning.
00:02:26.300 It's not going to work, right?
00:02:27.520 Crazy schedules are schedules that are inconsistent.
00:02:31.200 The planning becomes even more critical, right?
00:02:33.840 I've been working on a house on the weekends and get my protein in.
00:02:38.880 Could I have, I totally could have, but I had to be extra intentional and plan a little
00:02:44.960 bit harder.
00:02:45.580 Right.
00:02:46.280 And, and that's the, that's the difference is it just requires a little bit more intentionality
00:02:50.740 and planning is all.
00:02:52.300 Yeah.
00:02:52.380 I mean, I even think about that with the diet, since you were talking about the protein stuff
00:02:55.620 is, you know, a lot of times guys will fall off of their diets when they're, when they're
00:03:00.400 traveling.
00:03:01.340 Oh, you know, I'm doing fast food.
00:03:02.840 I'm doing this.
00:03:03.460 Every fast food place.
00:03:05.380 Every restaurant in America has a chicken option and some sort of vegetables.
00:03:11.220 Totally.
00:03:11.620 You know, if you go to Texas roadhouse, you get a steak, you get some asparagus or broccoli
00:03:15.840 and you eat half of the potato.
00:03:18.560 But how about those, uh, those rolls with the, I mean, they're delicious, but show some
00:03:23.940 discipline, you know, if McDonald's is in your area.
00:03:28.460 All right, get a, get a chicken breast sandwich, take the bun off, throw the bun away, do without
00:03:33.860 the condiments, eat the chicken breast, don't eat the French fries and get a baked potato.
00:03:37.920 I mean, guys, if, if you're saying that, Hey, this is the thing that's keeping me from
00:03:43.800 doing what I want.
00:03:45.400 We're really just making excuses.
00:03:47.060 And I understand I do it too, but be like you said, be more intentional, be more deliberate,
00:03:53.180 be more committed to our goals and our objectives, and we can really make anything work in this
00:03:59.880 timeframe.
00:04:00.220 I saw a poster, a meme or something, and it was talking about dieting.
00:04:07.540 I can't remember exactly what it said, but it said, we, you know, we've gotten so comfortable
00:04:11.420 and so complacent that we consider eating healthy food, dieting.
00:04:16.340 We have to consider.
00:04:17.040 It's like this extra thing you have to do.
00:04:19.760 Yeah.
00:04:20.500 Same thing with going to the gym.
00:04:21.820 I've talked about it before.
00:04:22.800 Or we have to go to a place where there's weights and they're perfectly symmetrically
00:04:27.800 machined and balanced and it's climate controlled.
00:04:31.540 And the music is just right.
00:04:33.380 And you have all the little equipment I was talking with my niece yesterday, and she's
00:04:38.880 really big into working out.
00:04:39.960 She's been doing really well.
00:04:40.780 I'm proud of her.
00:04:42.860 And, and she said that she was talking to the gym and she wants this specific machine
00:04:50.500 to do this one thing.
00:04:52.720 And I get it.
00:04:53.720 I think it's cool that we have that option, but it's also kind of funny.
00:04:57.240 We need this perfectly machined one thing that exercises one muscle group.
00:05:04.240 It's good.
00:05:05.300 It's just a funny thing that we do because we have it so easy.
00:05:08.700 Yeah.
00:05:10.300 Yeah.
00:05:10.620 Yeah.
00:05:10.800 First world problems, right?
00:05:12.420 Exactly.
00:05:13.020 First world problems.
00:05:14.140 Yeah.
00:05:14.320 I remember as a, as a kid on the farm, I used to work out in this old cabin that was on
00:05:21.160 the property, threw my weights in there and the weights, like the plates are all metal.
00:05:26.960 You know what I mean?
00:05:27.500 Like they're just concrete.
00:05:30.180 And me and my buddy, Richard, we'd go in there like at 5.
00:05:33.280 AM in the morning and just, you'd freeze your ass off, like grabbing the bar, like your
00:05:38.740 hand might stick to the bar.
00:05:40.220 Yeah.
00:05:40.500 It's a little water on there and it sticks.
00:05:42.680 Yeah.
00:05:42.980 But, but you're like, kind of like, Oh, you know, and then probably about 20 minutes in
00:05:47.260 your workout, you were finally warm enough that it was like, not uncomfortable, but everything
00:05:51.820 would just wicked freezing cold in the middle of winter, you know, now here I am like, Oh,
00:05:57.140 you know, this is uncomfortable.
00:05:59.760 Yeah.
00:06:00.560 Uncomfortable.
00:06:00.940 My knees hurt.
00:06:01.700 I'm going to go on the elliptical instead of go do the treadmill.
00:06:06.140 Um, yeah.
00:06:07.180 I, you know, this is why we dreaded playing in, in high school.
00:06:10.480 In fact, it was really cool.
00:06:12.240 I, I was able to catch up with my high school football and baseball coach this weekend.
00:06:15.760 And I went and talked with his boys on the team and it's really cool to catch up with
00:06:19.300 him.
00:06:19.440 But, uh, it, it got me thinking about football specifically.
00:06:22.940 Cause that was the sport I really enjoyed.
00:06:24.540 He, he really enjoys baseball and I was mediocre at best at baseball.
00:06:28.820 And I was slightly above average at football.
00:06:31.660 Uh, and it's interesting.
00:06:35.680 Cause we always dreaded playing, uh, Kanab and, uh, Milford and Delta because those were
00:06:44.380 the farm boys.
00:06:45.360 Those guys were throwing hay bales, moving pipe all summer.
00:06:49.200 Like they came to football practice, jacked and ready to go on the first of the season.
00:06:54.300 Farm strength.
00:06:55.540 Farm strength.
00:06:56.320 Yep.
00:06:56.700 Exactly.
00:06:58.120 Yeah.
00:06:58.740 That's funny.
00:06:59.400 All right, man.
00:07:00.080 Should we get into some questions today?
00:07:01.660 Yeah, for sure.
00:07:02.920 Uh, before we actually get into those questions, um, this conversation about you and I about,
00:07:09.380 Hey, you gotta, you gotta get to the gym.
00:07:11.580 You gotta go when you gotta go.
00:07:13.280 You gotta plan.
00:07:14.200 These are kind of the conversation, not kind of, these are the types of conversations
00:07:18.300 that happen in the iron council.
00:07:20.020 When you're part of a battle team.
00:07:21.680 Yeah.
00:07:22.160 When you're part of a group of other men and you're having these kinds of talks of dude,
00:07:27.620 no, you got to get to the gym, do this.
00:07:30.380 And you want someone to help push you right.
00:07:32.620 And hold you accountable.
00:07:34.220 Uh, we are open for enrollment for the remainder of this week.
00:07:37.940 So if you're on the fence, you want to execute and band with some men and get held accountable
00:07:42.260 going to the second quarter of this year, go to order of man.com slash iron council.
00:07:47.840 Sir, sir.
00:07:49.000 Yeah.
00:07:49.140 Like you said, all right for a couple more days.
00:07:50.940 So let's get after it.
00:07:52.320 Yep.
00:07:52.600 Join us.
00:07:53.180 All right.
00:07:53.760 We're filling questions from Facebook.
00:07:55.500 If you haven't joined us there, go to facebook.com slash group slash order of man, Chad.
00:07:59.600 Oh, we, how did you get back up after being betrayed by an ex wife or a wife that is now
00:08:06.960 an ex left with very little resources, small amount of time to see kids, how to get the
00:08:12.380 strength to move forward and rebuild.
00:08:14.780 Love what, love what you're doing.
00:08:16.520 My brother, Ryan.
00:08:17.280 Thank you.
00:08:18.340 Yeah.
00:08:18.560 I mean, that's hard, obviously, you know, that's a difficult thing because you probably
00:08:23.720 prided yourself on being married.
00:08:25.160 You pride yourself on being a father.
00:08:26.740 You probably wrapped up your identity in those things.
00:08:29.060 And now it's taken away.
00:08:30.420 And not only that, some of the resources to be able to be those things is diminished.
00:08:36.020 So that's also very challenging.
00:08:39.180 So here's what I think about it.
00:08:41.260 Um, you can't control other people.
00:08:43.740 And even in the post itself, I recognize a little bit of animosity and contention and
00:08:50.500 resentment towards your ex, which based on the limited information we have here is understandable.
00:08:55.880 But I think you have to ask yourself whether or not that contention and animosity is serving
00:09:01.040 you, or if it's like shackles that you've shackled around your, your ankles and your
00:09:05.220 wrists, and you're allowing it to hold you back.
00:09:08.320 Maybe if you decided that you're not going to harbor those, those thoughts and those ideas
00:09:13.340 and that contention, that animosity towards her and let that go, you could spend more of
00:09:18.580 your time, energy, and attention focused on the things that are within your control, like
00:09:22.960 getting your health in check, like developing new skill sets, building out a band of brothers.
00:09:30.400 Maybe it's deeper, more meaningful connections with guys who are already in your circle, or
00:09:34.520 maybe it's entirely new people.
00:09:36.740 Another thing is getting yourself out there.
00:09:39.220 I know that you're probably feeling down and depressed.
00:09:42.600 Your situation is drastically changed.
00:09:44.800 And so putting yourself out to meet new people, and I'm not even talking about women.
00:09:48.720 I'm just talking about meeting new people.
00:09:50.340 Maybe a buddy calls you up and says, Hey man, do you want to go to the sports event that,
00:09:54.740 that we have this weekend?
00:09:55.940 The answer is most definitely yes.
00:09:59.360 Hey, I'm going to go to dinner tonight.
00:10:01.000 Do you want to come with me?
00:10:01.880 You may not feel like it, but the answer is most definitely yes.
00:10:05.700 When you're at Walmart and you have the option to go through the self-checkout lane, or you
00:10:11.580 have the option to go to the one that has the teller, go to the one that has the teller because
00:10:16.440 you're going to help.
00:10:17.140 It's going to help you interact with other people.
00:10:19.640 There's things that are entirely within your control.
00:10:22.520 And when we focus more of our time and attention and energy on the things within our control,
00:10:27.420 then our life, I was going to say miraculously, but it isn't miraculous.
00:10:32.180 Our life just changes.
00:10:33.740 It gets better.
00:10:35.520 So the other thing, so that's one focus on you.
00:10:38.680 Now, what can you do with her?
00:10:40.420 Well, you have to build some sort of amicable relationship with her.
00:10:44.520 And I know that's a tough pill to swallow.
00:10:46.620 I know that she might be, to put it bluntly, a vindictive bitch.
00:10:52.380 I don't know if she is, but I know that you're probably feeling like that to some degree,
00:10:56.340 or you wouldn't be asking this question.
00:10:58.060 And you've got to let that go.
00:11:00.320 Do you have, even if you have to just stuff it down inside for now, because what's more
00:11:05.440 important is not how you feel about her behavior.
00:11:08.760 What's more important is that you build a working relationship with her so that you can be in
00:11:14.760 your kids' life.
00:11:16.320 That's the most important thing.
00:11:18.820 And that might mean letting go of the ego, letting go of the pride, faking a grin if you
00:11:25.380 have to, when you see her because you hate her.
00:11:27.640 I don't know, but do what you need to do.
00:11:30.780 This is strategy so that you can be in your children's lives.
00:11:35.600 Yeah, totally.
00:11:36.500 You know, the way we get past hardship is by making that situation become the best thing
00:11:46.280 that could have ever happened to you, right?
00:11:49.840 Chad, you want to level up in a way where you're like, man, that kicked me in the butt
00:11:54.320 in a way that I'm kind of, in a crazy sense, grateful for it because it catapulted me to
00:12:01.960 become the man I am.
00:12:03.020 And it can do that if you choose to allow this to be a learning experience and a catalyst
00:12:10.940 for you to become better.
00:12:12.400 So that's how we deal with even regret.
00:12:14.940 Even when we make mistakes, that's how you deal with the mistakes is you grow from them.
00:12:19.000 And then you're kind of like, well, okay, you know what?
00:12:21.180 I'm almost happy that that happened because I want to be who I am today.
00:12:24.380 And I'm happy with who I am today.
00:12:25.800 So in an odd sense, I'm grateful for it.
00:12:29.580 And another thought here, Chad.
00:12:31.520 Oh, good.
00:12:32.240 I was just going to say, you know, it's interesting about what you just said is it doesn't take
00:12:37.120 some sort of external factor to do that.
00:12:42.440 It doesn't take her changing her behavior for you to do that or for you to get a promotion
00:12:47.880 or for you to find another lovely woman.
00:12:50.620 Like it takes no, because look, some of that stuff will happen.
00:12:54.340 It might happen, but it's beyond your control.
00:12:56.340 You know what it takes?
00:12:57.160 It takes you deciding.
00:12:59.220 That's it.
00:13:00.080 It takes you making the decision that, hey, this is really bad.
00:13:04.240 This is really bad.
00:13:06.560 But it's going to be okay.
00:13:09.220 And I made a post on Instagram yesterday, in fact, and I said, you know, if you're going
00:13:14.920 through a difficult time right now, just extend your time horizon.
00:13:18.640 Because I think what happens is when we're feeling really crappy about our lives, and sometimes
00:13:23.060 we have a reason to feel crappy about them, it's because we're stuck in the moment.
00:13:29.980 Yeah.
00:13:30.340 And what I would suggest is that we look at the longer term play here.
00:13:33.300 What's the longer term play?
00:13:34.580 And if you extend your time horizon, then what ends up happening is you start doing things
00:13:38.720 that are going to serve your future self rather than wallowing in your current self-pity.
00:13:44.080 And it gives you hope.
00:13:46.080 Absolutely.
00:13:47.000 And I think in the post that I made yesterday, I said, what is it that your future self would
00:13:53.060 thank you for doing in this moment, despite your current circumstances?
00:13:58.960 That's what should be leading your decision-making process.
00:14:02.300 Totally.
00:14:02.740 Not how you feel today and right now.
00:14:05.440 Yeah.
00:14:06.000 And in the spirit of like focusing on what you can control and chat, I realized you may
00:14:11.940 be in the, in the midst.
00:14:14.200 So this may seem very difficult, but I just want to, if you don't mind, well, if you don't
00:14:18.820 mind, I'm giving you advice, whether you're asking for mine or not, you can tune out if
00:14:22.300 he doesn't want to hear it.
00:14:23.260 Yeah.
00:14:24.120 Here's, here's the black belt move to deal with this.
00:14:28.020 Understand her.
00:14:28.720 I know that seems super crazy, but you will not be able to let go of that betrayal and
00:14:37.360 hurt until you see her for who she is.
00:14:41.240 Not from a negative perspective, but see her as a human and understand her.
00:14:47.060 And through empathy, you actually are able to let go.
00:14:50.540 Now you don't have to be agree with her and you don't have to be okay.
00:14:53.500 What, but you need to understand her and almost get to a point where you're like, oh, my man,
00:14:58.120 I get her, not my, not my cup of tea.
00:15:01.820 You know, I don't have to agree with it, but I understand it and almost come to a level
00:15:05.860 of like empathy of like, cause you should feel kind of sad for, and by the way, that's
00:15:11.180 your children's mother.
00:15:12.660 So you should care to some extent.
00:15:15.540 If you care about your kids, you got to care about her well-being.
00:15:18.600 Yeah.
00:15:19.300 And the more you can go, you know what?
00:15:21.240 I get her and, and I almost feel sorry for her in the sense of like what she's done to
00:15:27.020 our marriage and broke up, you know, things, but I get it and I understand her.
00:15:31.680 And, and the more, the quicker you can get to that is the quicker you can actually let
00:15:36.400 go and not have her actions just tear you apart.
00:15:40.800 And trust me, I know what that feeling of tearing apart feels like.
00:15:45.880 So this is speaking from experience.
00:15:48.140 It wasn't until that, and I'm going to say maybe in a more extreme way, it wasn't until
00:15:54.420 I was able to love and accept my ex-wife for exactly who she was.
00:15:59.980 It wasn't until then that I was able truly to let go and not be affected in a negative
00:16:04.840 way by the, by our marriage failing.
00:16:10.380 Yeah.
00:16:10.940 You know, as you're saying that Kip, I hear a lot of these like modern red pill type guys
00:16:16.220 that are like, no, she's this.
00:16:18.980 And she's that it's her fault.
00:16:20.600 And women, this and women, that, and you know what you deciding to make those types
00:16:27.640 of decisions you're talking about Kip isn't for her anyways.
00:16:31.480 And that's where the confusion comes in.
00:16:33.200 If I treat her with respect, you're like, oh, well now you're bowing down.
00:16:36.600 You're being a cuck.
00:16:37.380 You're being a beta.
00:16:38.180 You're being a simp.
00:16:39.160 These are the words people use.
00:16:40.700 No, you're not.
00:16:41.940 You're doing it for you and your kids.
00:16:45.540 You're not doing it for her.
00:16:47.220 Maybe you still love her and there's some love in there.
00:16:50.020 And so I think it's good to treat her with some sort of respect, you know, but that's
00:16:53.440 not the ultimate objective.
00:16:54.880 The ultimate objective is that you're doing it for yourself to let go of the animosity
00:16:59.560 and contention and hostility.
00:17:01.080 And you're doing it for the relationship that you have with your children and people that
00:17:05.360 say, that's a simp move.
00:17:06.760 That's a beta move.
00:17:08.280 Those guys are angry.
00:17:10.700 They're bitter.
00:17:11.820 They're contentious.
00:17:13.060 They're miserable.
00:17:13.860 And they'll probably spend the rest of their lives alone.
00:17:16.000 And if that's what you want, sure, go that route.
00:17:18.680 But I don't think that's what you want.
00:17:20.720 And they're being controlled by the heart and they're hurt forever until they let go.
00:17:26.680 Solid point.
00:17:27.880 Yeah, that's a weakness move, not a strength move.
00:17:30.720 Totally.
00:17:31.040 It's a good point.
00:17:31.820 Totally.
00:17:32.640 All right, man.
00:17:33.400 What's next?
00:17:34.080 Josh Newton, how to talk to your kids about suicide.
00:17:38.620 Teacher at my daughter's school took his own life in the car in the parking lot during
00:17:42.920 school hours and this middle-aged school, middle school-aged kids.
00:17:47.920 Man, in his parking lot.
00:17:50.540 What a selfish thing.
00:17:53.600 You know, I don't want to assume that I know what that, I mean, obviously that person's
00:17:58.720 going through a difficult time.
00:17:59.860 But in the parking lot of the school, now he's affecting kids.
00:18:03.040 He or she is affecting children.
00:18:04.480 Oh, my goodness.
00:18:05.280 Yeah.
00:18:06.160 That's bad.
00:18:08.440 Well, here's what I would say.
00:18:11.800 You're at the stage right now, but I want to ask you another question.
00:18:14.880 This goes for other guys who are going to have to have difficult conversations with their
00:18:18.160 kids.
00:18:18.380 And you will, trust me.
00:18:19.600 You haven't already.
00:18:20.140 I think all of the other conversations that you've had about some of the weirdest, most
00:18:29.480 random things that are seemingly insignificant are really going to determine how this conversation
00:18:35.220 goes.
00:18:37.000 So what other conversations are you having with your children about their interests, about
00:18:41.720 hunting or cars or dance or this particular TV show they like, or the gossip, you know,
00:18:47.960 my daughter shares between her and her girlfriends, how am I responding to those conversations?
00:18:54.440 Am I engaged?
00:18:55.980 Am I focused?
00:18:56.980 Am I present?
00:18:58.140 Am I listening?
00:18:59.100 Am I asking questions?
00:19:00.560 Or am I condemning or shutting it down, judging the way that I handle those types of conversations
00:19:08.780 make these types of conversations all the more powerful.
00:19:13.540 And then you won't have to ask questions like, how do I talk with my kids about this?
00:19:18.420 Because you already know.
00:19:20.100 So you're saying we have to listen to them all the time.
00:19:23.020 All the time.
00:19:23.900 About stuff that you just don't want to listen to.
00:19:26.880 Screw that.
00:19:27.920 You know what, Josh?
00:19:29.000 I'll get you another podcast to listen to.
00:19:30.900 We'll get your questions somewhere else.
00:19:33.820 Yeah, man.
00:19:34.560 It's hard.
00:19:35.280 Like you're a full-time dad though, right?
00:19:36.920 Not just a dad when you have to have a difficult conversation.
00:19:39.980 So that's one angle I really want to make sure I address is that conversation that your
00:19:46.860 daughter has about how this one girl at school is mean has been prepared for the last six
00:19:52.100 months.
00:19:52.660 Yeah.
00:19:53.000 You better listen to that conversation.
00:19:55.320 I know it sounds dumb.
00:19:56.920 I know you have a thousand other things to do.
00:19:58.800 I know it's insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but it's not actually.
00:20:04.740 You better listen to it and you better pass that test because this test will be easier
00:20:10.400 if you do.
00:20:11.880 So now, okay, that's out of the way.
00:20:14.620 Now, how do you address this?
00:20:16.380 You ask questions.
00:20:19.520 That's it.
00:20:21.240 Hey, Tim, look, obviously, you know what happened at school with Mr. Johnson.
00:20:26.240 And I want to ask you how you feel about that.
00:20:33.920 And he's probably going to say, he or she is probably going to say, uh, I don't know.
00:20:37.920 I'm okay.
00:20:40.460 And that's not good enough.
00:20:42.000 You really need to get down to it.
00:20:44.380 And so you might say, oh, okay, you're okay.
00:20:46.400 Yeah.
00:20:47.380 Don't leave it there.
00:20:50.220 Say, okay, well, what are the other kids saying about it?
00:20:53.700 Oh, well, the other kids are saying this and this and this.
00:20:58.040 Yeah.
00:20:58.220 What do you think?
00:20:59.540 Like, like I have a conversation and you don't need to, I don't really don't think you need
00:21:04.160 to explain everything he knows or he or she knows what happened.
00:21:08.560 They know what suicide is.
00:21:10.400 They like, they know it's not right.
00:21:12.180 They know it's wrong.
00:21:12.980 They know all of that.
00:21:14.200 So there's no lecture that you need to give them right now.
00:21:17.260 You need to be able to ask questions and try to figure out how they feel about things.
00:21:22.360 And you need to be a good question asker.
00:21:24.860 So when they shut you down and they will probably initially like, oh, I'm good.
00:21:28.300 Dad.
00:21:28.480 Thanks.
00:21:29.860 Go deeper, play it out in your mind.
00:21:32.780 What kind of questions are you going to ask?
00:21:34.420 Try not to ask yes or no questions.
00:21:37.580 So one you can always tell is what and how questions are good, open-ended questions.
00:21:47.220 Like, what are you going to do today?
00:21:48.920 How are you going to respond to that?
00:21:50.400 Why do you feel the way that you feel?
00:21:52.800 Ask those types of questions because it's going to elicit a greater response.
00:21:56.140 And when they shut you off, be prepared for that and try to flank them.
00:21:59.720 Try to come up with, like I said, if they say, oh, I'm good.
00:22:02.040 Say, yeah, you're good.
00:22:02.840 Okay, good.
00:22:03.300 I just wanted to make sure.
00:22:04.680 Are the, how are the other kids doing?
00:22:06.320 Oh, well, Jim's having a really hard time.
00:22:08.800 Like he cried in class the other day and the teacher couldn't calm him down.
00:22:13.380 Oh, really?
00:22:13.860 Why?
00:22:14.740 This is a flank move.
00:22:16.120 Why do you think he's, why do you think he's crying?
00:22:18.320 Would, do you understand what, why he's bothered by it?
00:22:21.680 Do you agree with it?
00:22:23.020 How do you feel about how he feels?
00:22:25.280 Yeah.
00:22:25.960 Yeah.
00:22:26.440 And by the way, this just doesn't apply to just children.
00:22:28.940 This applies to your wife.
00:22:30.560 This applies to your, your colleagues and your coworkers and your employees.
00:22:34.020 This applies to people in your church congregation who you want to serve.
00:22:38.500 We got to stop preaching and we really have to start.
00:22:42.940 And look, I'm, I'm more guilt.
00:22:44.660 I've made a business in a career.
00:22:46.720 I'm preaching.
00:22:47.980 Okay.
00:22:48.340 So it's a little different for me because people have voluntarily come here to be preached
00:22:52.660 to, but in a one-on-one setting, I don't preach to my friends.
00:22:57.660 Like, I don't, I don't go to my friends and I'm like, Hey, what questions do you have that
00:23:01.380 I can answer for you today?
00:23:02.220 Guys?
00:23:02.580 Like here we are at the fights tonight.
00:23:04.280 I'm willing to answer any questions that you have.
00:23:06.600 Yeah.
00:23:07.240 Pause the fights.
00:23:08.260 Halftime.
00:23:08.880 Ryan's going to answer questions.
00:23:10.220 I'm going to do the AMA.
00:23:10.760 Hey, throw me that mic.
00:23:11.940 I'm going to get up and let me, let me spit some fire.
00:23:16.300 Yeah.
00:23:16.440 Yeah.
00:23:16.800 No, I ask questions.
00:23:18.300 Hey man, what's going on?
00:23:19.160 How's things?
00:23:20.080 How's, how's the family?
00:23:21.100 How's your wife?
00:23:21.560 How's your kids?
00:23:22.260 Oh man.
00:23:22.920 Yeah.
00:23:23.980 Your wife struggling with that.
00:23:25.020 Oh, that's, that's hard.
00:23:26.240 My wife did too.
00:23:26.940 What are you doing about it?
00:23:28.000 Like the, this is how you'd be a good friend.
00:23:30.320 This is how you'd be influential.
00:23:31.480 So ask those questions and just don't preach.
00:23:34.100 They already know what's going on.
00:23:36.560 They know.
00:23:37.040 Trust me.
00:23:38.700 Just open your questions to them and let them talk.
00:23:43.740 Well, and the reason why, I mean, think through it, right?
00:23:45.580 Why do we do this?
00:23:47.800 Well, because we're, we're guiding thought process.
00:23:50.580 There's a big difference.
00:23:52.980 When I come to a conclusion on my own that I've worked it through my mind, that I've,
00:23:58.920 I feel a certain way and I'm processing my emotions and my logic.
00:24:03.800 That's so impactful.
00:24:06.180 What's not that impactful is you spitting fire.
00:24:09.840 I, it might like motivate me, inspiring my mic.
00:24:12.940 Yeah.
00:24:13.040 I'll pumped up retention.
00:24:15.980 It's lost.
00:24:17.020 Yeah.
00:24:17.820 You know, a couple hours later, I'm like, yeah, Ryan, Ryan said some awesome stuff.
00:24:21.400 What was it?
00:24:22.160 Uh, I don't know, but it was good.
00:24:26.080 But when it's, but when we create it, man, so much different, so much different.
00:24:33.120 Yeah.
00:24:34.060 And especially with kids, they're so, they're so used to being preached to by you, by their
00:24:38.000 teachers, by parents, by coaches, just ask them questions.
00:24:42.300 And you know, the other beautiful thing about asking people questions, not just your children
00:24:46.380 is it takes the burden off of you.
00:24:49.360 Like, I don't have to be here to rescue anybody.
00:24:51.420 I don't have to be here to impart my wisdom.
00:24:53.520 I don't have to be always turned on.
00:24:55.100 I could just be curious about people coming from a place of, of care and love for those
00:25:00.160 people and just ask good questions and then be curious about the answers.
00:25:05.480 That's it.
00:25:06.160 That's awesome.
00:25:07.640 Peter Zeffo.
00:25:08.700 My son is getting married in July.
00:25:10.660 Any recommendations for a father-son experience before he begins his own family?
00:25:16.620 Kind of fun.
00:25:17.700 Yeah, that's cool.
00:25:18.660 Well, awesome that, that he's getting married.
00:25:21.240 Uh, father-son experiences.
00:25:23.600 I guess I'd turn that back on you guys and say, what do you guys bond over?
00:25:26.780 You know, for me and my, my oldest and, and actually my second now we, we bond over hunting.
00:25:31.880 So we would, we would plan an epic hump to hunting trip.
00:25:36.140 Um, maybe it's, maybe it's photography.
00:25:38.500 Uh, maybe it's travel, maybe it's working on a vehicle together.
00:25:43.360 Maybe it's going to a football game.
00:25:46.180 Maybe like, I don't, I don't know what you guys bond over.
00:25:48.640 I don't know what your family dynamic is like, but whatever you bond over, take it to the nth
00:25:53.480 degree.
00:25:53.780 So if it's you guys just, you love the Broncos, like you guys just love the Broncos.
00:26:00.600 Like that's been a thing.
00:26:02.540 Then you go get box tickets to the Broncos game and you figure out how to meet some players.
00:26:09.700 And like, you just take it to the nth degree.
00:26:12.600 If it's hiking, then find the highest peak in your area.
00:26:17.660 And it's going to take you a month or two to, to get ready and pack up and, and get it
00:26:22.560 all dialed in.
00:26:24.100 And, you know, you plan it out together and you make it a week long trip, whatever you
00:26:29.560 bond over, just take it to the nth degree.
00:26:31.520 If it's hunting, I don't know, like me and my two oldest boys are going to Africa.
00:26:35.860 Like some of this stuff I know might be a little prohibitive based on time and geography
00:26:39.800 and, and cost, but just take it to the maximum degree that you can.
00:26:45.340 And I, I think that's probably a pretty good guidepost for you.
00:26:49.720 Yeah, I agree.
00:26:50.720 In fact, I I'm all excited.
00:26:52.440 Invite us, Peter.
00:26:53.100 We'll come with you guys.
00:26:54.040 For sure.
00:26:54.660 For sure.
00:26:55.860 All right.
00:26:56.540 Jake Dylan, how do you keep motivated when it feels like everything around you has fallen
00:27:00.940 apart?
00:27:01.740 I've been working on myself for the last few months or so, and I have come a long way,
00:27:06.240 but things took a hard left and it's hard to keep going.
00:27:10.680 I don't know about anybody else, but I'm most motivated when things are falling apart.
00:27:16.060 Yeah.
00:27:17.780 That's when I'm most motivated because I found myself, if things are going well, I tend to
00:27:22.540 slip into complacency.
00:27:25.300 So I'm not sure I really resonate with this question, but here's what I would do.
00:27:29.200 Here's what I will tell you.
00:27:30.940 Is that when things are falling apart, I can get overwhelmed.
00:27:35.900 And when I get overwhelmed, that's when I slip into a little bit of complacency or withdrawal
00:27:41.460 from the problem.
00:27:43.380 Yeah.
00:27:43.860 So I don't know if this answers your question, but for me, what I have to do is I have to
00:27:50.460 break it down.
00:27:51.640 Okay.
00:27:51.820 Here's this grand problem I'm dealing with and it's so large.
00:27:56.020 It's so consuming.
00:27:57.220 I just don't even know how to tackle this thing.
00:28:00.820 And so I have to break it down into the micro.
00:28:04.120 Okay.
00:28:04.440 Well, I need to do this and I need to do that and I need to do this and I need to do that.
00:28:07.680 And so I start writing all the things that need to be done to get me back on the path
00:28:11.360 or get me through this obstacle that I'm dealing with.
00:28:13.560 And then I, once I have that list, I start with the easiest thing, start with the easiest
00:28:21.280 thing, because not only are you going to move the needle the quickest, which needs to happen
00:28:26.420 and needs to happen quickly, but also you're going to build up some motivation and momentum.
00:28:31.140 Oh man.
00:28:32.460 Yeah, I did that.
00:28:34.160 Okay.
00:28:34.360 I feel all right.
00:28:34.920 That felt pretty good.
00:28:35.700 I got to win.
00:28:36.520 Move the needle.
00:28:37.660 What's next on that list?
00:28:38.860 And go to that next point and the next point and the next point and the next point.
00:28:41.980 Too often, I think we look at this grand problem that we're dealing with and it deflates
00:28:45.900 us because we don't think we have what it takes to overcome what we're dealing with.
00:28:49.220 Trust me, you have what it takes.
00:28:50.500 Think about everything else in life that you've overcome up to this point.
00:28:54.580 You've overcome some tremendous adversity, some tremendous odds, and you're on the other
00:28:58.940 side of it.
00:28:59.520 So you can certainly do it again.
00:29:01.340 So let's do it as efficiently and effectively as possible.
00:29:04.360 Break it down into manageable tasks, assignments, objectives, start working towards those things.
00:29:11.620 And the other thing I would say is extend your time horizon, like we talked about earlier,
00:29:17.500 so that you can have some hope.
00:29:19.300 Because right now, the walls are closing in around you.
00:29:23.460 Everything's looking a little bit dark.
00:29:25.320 You're dealing with unfortunate and difficult circumstances.
00:29:29.520 And you don't see a way out.
00:29:31.100 And you need to manufacture that way out.
00:29:33.840 So you need to look down the road.
00:29:36.500 Like what does the 50-year-old guy of you look like?
00:29:40.820 What does this look like in five years?
00:29:43.520 And you'll see like, oh, I could actually be in a completely different, I could be better.
00:29:47.780 I could be in a different position.
00:29:49.580 Life can be better.
00:29:50.560 And that's going to give you a little glimmer of hope, which might help you get started on
00:29:54.680 that first task that you identified.
00:29:57.400 Totally.
00:29:58.020 Totally agree with all of that, man.
00:29:59.480 I was trying to feel like looking at my past and where I've struggled the most, it's always
00:30:07.140 in the same.
00:30:07.840 I do the same thing.
00:30:08.800 It feels so overwhelming.
00:30:10.500 I don't know where to start.
00:30:11.620 So then I kind of withdraw and then it gets worse versus detaching, you know what I mean?
00:30:17.680 Prioritizing things and then executing.
00:30:19.640 But there's an element where sometimes when things stick a hard left, as Jake said, that
00:30:26.580 we kind of withdraw from people as well.
00:30:29.860 And so don't do that.
00:30:32.380 So if things are tough, like reach out to a friend.
00:30:36.900 Go hang out with your buddies.
00:30:38.900 Instead of going to the gym by yourself, go to the gym with someone.
00:30:42.880 Don't do the default kind of guy thing and withdraw and go lone wolf and get narrow focused.
00:30:49.740 Like keep your social circles going.
00:30:53.020 Be around uplifting individuals that are getting after it.
00:30:55.900 That's also going to help above and beyond, of course, what Ryan already said.
00:31:01.040 Yeah.
00:31:01.220 And I think you're dead on with that.
00:31:03.500 And again, I go back to this concept of the nth degree.
00:31:06.100 So when you go to the gym, maybe it is just you going to the gym and that's fine, you
00:31:10.980 know, but don't wear your earbuds.
00:31:14.700 Like don't put your headphones on.
00:31:16.820 Don't do that.
00:31:18.200 Like I go to the gym and I see so many people, their headphones on and I get it.
00:31:21.320 But I'm like, man, there's awesome people in this gym.
00:31:24.460 At any given time, there's dozens and dozens of people here who are fit, who are strong.
00:31:32.060 And if they aren't, they're motivated to be there and they're here, they're disciplined.
00:31:37.500 You know, some people are there in the middle of the day.
00:31:38.940 I'm like, what's this person do?
00:31:40.080 If they're here in the middle of the day, like what are they doing for work?
00:31:42.940 They're in, they're in an interesting situation.
00:31:44.620 And there are so many people everywhere you go, but you've got to think about it.
00:31:49.060 You're shutting yourself off at so many turns because you're putting your headphones in,
00:31:52.160 your earbuds in and not engaging to the degree that you can.
00:31:55.480 So don't, don't do that either.
00:31:58.120 Yeah.
00:31:58.780 That's interesting.
00:32:00.160 All right.
00:32:00.680 Alan, Michael Adkins, how do you handle being, uh, being burned by your church?
00:32:04.860 I'm trying to think about, I look, knee jerk reaction says, we'll just find a different
00:32:10.460 church.
00:32:10.880 They're a dime a dozen.
00:32:12.480 Yeah.
00:32:13.520 But in the meantime, I would ask why, why you got burned?
00:32:17.120 Well, how, how did you allow yourself to get burned?
00:32:20.700 That's the question.
00:32:21.600 I think not, not all this guy or this pastor, this person or this, but no, but why did you
00:32:25.600 like, what, what allowed you to get burned?
00:32:28.020 What did you do?
00:32:29.060 Like, what were your behaviors?
00:32:30.560 What were your, were you, were you naive?
00:32:32.740 Were you gullible?
00:32:33.380 Did you have a, um, unfair expectation of other people?
00:32:37.880 What is it that you did that caused you to get burned and then address that issue?
00:32:42.160 Or did you, or did you get burned?
00:32:44.800 Well, yeah.
00:32:45.760 Yeah.
00:32:46.180 Like, did you really, or that's your perception and someone said something they didn't mean,
00:32:53.000 or it came across a certain way, like, and they get clear there too, right?
00:32:56.520 Like how many times we've been burned by someone and the other person has no idea that they
00:33:01.840 were doing any form of burning.
00:33:04.280 We had a guy in the iron council and I'll spare some details, but if I remember correct, this
00:33:09.220 was a little bit ago.
00:33:10.060 He said that his buddy didn't show up to his father's funeral.
00:33:15.240 I think is what it was.
00:33:18.620 And he was very hurt by that because they were close friends and, and, you know, I don't
00:33:23.040 know all the details, but he was very hurt that his friend didn't show up to his father's
00:33:26.540 funeral.
00:33:27.260 So hurt that he just shut off the relationship.
00:33:30.160 And he was on a call and he was talking about, about how hurt he was.
00:33:33.200 And I said, man, probably need to tell the guy how you feel.
00:33:37.560 Like, have you told him?
00:33:38.520 He's like, no.
00:33:39.460 I said, it sounds like he's a pretty good friend.
00:33:40.900 He's like, well, he was.
00:33:42.280 I said, and you shut off the relationship because he reached out.
00:33:44.280 He's like, yeah, he doesn't know what's going on.
00:33:46.240 Like, why in the world would you leave somebody in the dark like that?
00:33:49.120 Like, I'm not telling you, I'm not telling you not to feel hurt.
00:33:52.100 I don't know.
00:33:52.980 Maybe you should feel hurt.
00:33:54.080 You can feel however you want to feel, but isn't the manly thing to do to address these
00:33:58.900 circumstances and these situations.
00:34:00.680 And look, you may decide I'm not going to be friends with him, but I think you owe him the
00:34:04.140 decency of saying, Hey, here's what's going on.
00:34:06.140 Here's why I ghosted you.
00:34:07.780 And it's still bothering you.
00:34:09.800 True.
00:34:10.720 True.
00:34:10.960 And so when we leave a, yeah, when we leave a relationship incomplete, we're incomplete
00:34:18.000 with it.
00:34:19.640 The other person could not even know.
00:34:21.780 And they're like, ah, whatever.
00:34:22.780 And they've moved on.
00:34:23.800 But meanwhile, it's like, well, you know, he never showed up.
00:34:26.720 Like you're still dealing with it.
00:34:28.320 Yeah.
00:34:28.940 Yeah.
00:34:29.160 That's a good.
00:34:29.520 In that example.
00:34:30.120 Anyway.
00:34:30.700 Yeah.
00:34:31.200 Complete things.
00:34:33.080 Yeah.
00:34:33.460 So I think if you've got a, I don't know your situation, obviously.
00:34:36.240 So we're just guessing, but if you've got a problem with the pastor, I think you need
00:34:40.100 to go talk to the pastor.
00:34:41.660 Totally.
00:34:42.460 If you've got a problem with, look, if it's somebody as a member of the congregation and
00:34:47.400 that's what's causing you to be upset with your church, it might be extreme, but look,
00:34:53.160 there's situations where maybe your pastor said something or did something, or you'd
00:34:56.500 learn something about your pastor that doesn't sit well with you.
00:34:58.880 And, you know, remember that person's a human being just like you.
00:35:03.260 And, and I think just go talk to him.
00:35:07.700 If you're my pastor, I'm going to come to you and I'm going to say, Hey, you know, I've
00:35:11.980 been really upset.
00:35:12.660 I've been having a hard time with the church and you, I learned something about you and
00:35:17.460 rather than be upset, I figured I would come talk to you about it.
00:35:20.860 Or, you know, you, you, you said this thing and it really sat wrong with me.
00:35:24.360 And here's why, like, give the man a chance to explain himself and if, if you explain
00:35:31.160 it and I'm like, I'm not satisfied with that.
00:35:32.740 Okay.
00:35:32.940 Well then maybe I got to go find a new church and that's fine.
00:35:35.000 But at least I said my piece, or maybe you say something like, Oh man, you know, I hadn't
00:35:41.680 considered how that would come across.
00:35:44.120 I need to, I need to revisit that or I need to bring that up this Sunday and, and explain
00:35:48.100 that to the congregation.
00:35:48.800 If you're feeling like that other people might be, and then he corrects it because you're
00:35:54.180 had the balls to go up and say it.
00:35:56.780 Yeah.
00:35:56.880 And probably course corrected it in a way that affected other people in a more positive
00:36:00.680 light because we chose to say something.
00:36:03.020 Yeah.
00:36:03.940 Now look, if somebody, if, if it has to do with integrity issues, you know, maybe, maybe,
00:36:09.400 maybe the church is ciphering off, ciphering off funds.
00:36:11.840 I like, I don't know.
00:36:12.660 We don't know enough about this situation, but if that's happening, well, number one, it's
00:36:17.680 illegal.
00:36:18.980 So you need to go talk with a person and actually really try to get to the root of the issue
00:36:23.880 because there might need to be some police reporting in some of this.
00:36:27.220 Like there, there, there are some issues where you need to take it the next step, but, but
00:36:32.060 on the spiritual side, here's what I would say, depending on what it is, try not to allow
00:36:37.800 it to impact your faith.
00:36:40.420 Yeah.
00:36:41.180 Look to the Bible, I'm assuming you're Christian, but look to the Bible and ask yourself, is
00:36:47.360 the Bible true?
00:36:49.060 Is this really the word of God?
00:36:50.900 And if it is, then you can't let a human being, a flawed human being mess that up for you because
00:36:59.940 that does happen and that will happen.
00:37:02.340 And that's bound to happen.
00:37:03.400 It's inevitable that somebody you look up to in a spiritual context will fail you.
00:37:09.680 They will fall short of the expectation you have of them and they'll fall short of the
00:37:17.060 ideal of Christianity.
00:37:18.540 A hundred percent.
00:37:19.460 They will.
00:37:20.380 One hundred percent without fail.
00:37:22.520 They will.
00:37:24.100 So don't allow that to muddy your faith or spoil your testimony because we're all flawed and
00:37:32.980 we all mess up and you might need to just be in a new environment, but don't allow it to
00:37:38.400 shake your faith.
00:37:40.240 Totally.
00:37:40.580 I love that conversation.
00:37:41.860 When I used to teach young men's and young women's, that was always like a foundational
00:37:46.580 lesson I latched onto.
00:37:48.640 There's a big difference between the gospel church as an organization and then socially
00:37:54.960 church.
00:37:57.140 Right.
00:37:57.640 And, and they're not the same thing, you know, and I used to always use the analogy, you know,
00:38:01.400 you can imagine going, Hey, young men, is it okay that we wear dresses to church?
00:38:05.980 Right.
00:38:06.400 And they're like, no.
00:38:07.400 Okay.
00:38:07.760 Where's that?
00:38:08.380 Show me that in the, in the Bible where that's gospel.
00:38:13.080 Nowhere.
00:38:13.580 Okay.
00:38:13.780 So is that a church org thing or is that a social thing?
00:38:16.540 They're like, no, it's a church thing.
00:38:17.680 You're like, well, not in Tonga.
00:38:20.280 Hmm.
00:38:20.860 Good point.
00:38:21.540 Oh, okay.
00:38:22.080 Now it's a social thing.
00:38:23.140 Right.
00:38:23.400 And it's like, Hey, you need to understand the differences of things, have some critical
00:38:26.480 thinking, realize those aren't the same thing to your point.
00:38:29.700 Make sure your testimony is not founded in people and in organizational religion.
00:38:33.760 Right.
00:38:34.220 But in something greater, well, I hear people that will say like, well, my, my pasture wasn't
00:38:38.960 living what he taught.
00:38:39.980 So he's a hypocrite.
00:38:41.200 He might be actually probably is.
00:38:43.140 So am I.
00:38:43.780 So are you.
00:38:46.160 So let me ask you this.
00:38:47.940 If someone doesn't live the ideal that they preach or the ideal expectation you have in
00:38:54.000 your mind, does that spoil the message or does that mean they just failed to live up
00:39:01.960 to it because they're a human being?
00:39:04.680 It doesn't taint the message.
00:39:06.280 If the message is pure, somebody not living up to it or being hypocritical about it doesn't
00:39:12.560 taint the message.
00:39:13.400 It just taints the messenger.
00:39:14.620 And guess what?
00:39:15.300 But we're all tainted.
00:39:16.460 Yeah.
00:39:16.800 Yeah.
00:39:17.100 And they are messengers, not the, they're messengers.
00:39:20.860 They're not the creator of the message.
00:39:22.680 Right.
00:39:23.460 Exactly.
00:39:24.080 I think it was Peter.
00:39:25.580 I think it was Peter who talked about, even though he knew how he was supposed to live
00:39:31.200 his life and he knew all the things that he was supposed to do, he fell short.
00:39:36.120 He knew, we all know, we all know what we should be doing.
00:39:39.540 But you, you, you've made just like I have, I'm not pointing fingers.
00:39:43.520 We have probably made it's, it's 10 o'clock AM where I'm at right now.
00:39:47.600 I've probably made a dozen mistakes that go against what I believe already this morning.
00:39:55.420 Totally.
00:39:56.400 And so we just got to recognize it and then move on.
00:39:58.580 That's it.
00:40:00.000 Yep.
00:40:00.280 Stay on the path of trying to become better.
00:40:02.220 Yep.
00:40:03.800 Jacob Huckabay.
00:40:05.600 He has a similar question actually, but mostly around how do we keep the faith when everything
00:40:11.340 seems to be stacked against us?
00:40:13.680 How do we keep faith and stay the horse that God intends?
00:40:17.140 I read this question.
00:40:20.300 Yeah.
00:40:20.780 A lot of religious spiritual questions.
00:40:24.420 If you believe in God, then, you know, what was the, what did he say?
00:40:29.900 How do you keep the faith?
00:40:30.960 When, how do you keep the faith and stay the course God intends for us when the deck is stacked
00:40:36.760 so high against us?
00:40:38.700 If you believe in God and you, you believe in this divine power, then, you know,
00:40:46.260 that the deck is not stacked against you.
00:40:50.000 Yeah.
00:40:50.560 And that there's a bigger game at play than what you're experiencing today.
00:40:54.920 You know, it's not, it's not stacked against you.
00:40:58.160 If anything, it's stacked in your favor.
00:41:00.500 Now I'm not saying there's not forces at work against you.
00:41:02.740 There are.
00:41:03.740 If you're a Christian and you believe in God, you know that the deck is not stacked against you.
00:41:12.340 It's stacked in your favor.
00:41:13.840 You're just interpreting challenges and struggles and difficulties as some great force out to get
00:41:23.360 you.
00:41:24.120 And that's not what it is.
00:41:25.880 In fact, what you're dealing with right now might be something that you is the exact thing
00:41:32.720 that you need that will help you fortify your deficiencies and improve and get better.
00:41:43.080 Look, it sucks.
00:41:45.060 I'm not saying it's going to be fun.
00:41:46.840 It's not fun.
00:41:47.780 It's horrible.
00:41:48.560 It's miserable.
00:41:49.440 It's misery.
00:41:50.120 But if you believe the deck is stacked against you, then just give up now.
00:41:55.880 Because if God, this all powerful, omnipresent force is against you, you're done.
00:42:05.940 Or he's not against you.
00:42:08.220 He's for you.
00:42:09.100 And therefore, what you're worrying about doesn't, isn't really designed to hurt you.
00:42:17.700 So reframe it.
00:42:19.520 How do you keep going?
00:42:20.840 Like I, like we talked about in that previous message about breaking it down into bite-sized
00:42:26.800 pieces, manageable pieces.
00:42:28.080 It feels overwhelming.
00:42:29.260 It feels daunting.
00:42:30.240 It feels like everything's stacked against you.
00:42:32.020 It's not.
00:42:32.600 It's all supposed to work in your favor, but break it down into bite-sized, actionable
00:42:37.040 steps and start working through those things.
00:42:40.500 And over the next week, the next month, the next year, the next decade, you're going to
00:42:44.840 see, oh man, that was horrible.
00:42:48.760 But I'm a better person because of it.
00:42:52.260 Tony Simon, tips on how to find your way and add clearness to your vision.
00:42:58.380 So we have an exercise inside the Iron Council, the battle plan.
00:43:01.840 And a lot of you guys listening, you've heard about it.
00:43:04.160 And the first step of the battle plan is to cast your vision.
00:43:08.520 And I see some really poorly articulated visions from guys.
00:43:17.580 And that's okay because it's better than what it was when they didn't have a vision at all.
00:43:24.860 And what ends up happening when you have a vision for the first time, what ends up happening
00:43:29.160 is that as you start to act on the vision that you have of yourself, things begin to materialize
00:43:35.720 and things begin to crystallize.
00:43:38.160 And you realize, oh man, okay.
00:43:40.640 You know, I had this vision of how I wanted to show up as a father.
00:43:43.480 I have this vision of how I want to show up as a man in general.
00:43:45.860 And so like, you might say, I want to be a better man.
00:43:47.740 That's my vision.
00:43:49.680 Not awesome, not ideal, but okay.
00:43:51.640 That's a start.
00:43:52.340 What does that look like to you?
00:43:55.140 Oh, well, if I want to be a better man, then I got to work on communication with my wife.
00:43:59.200 Good.
00:44:00.140 Great.
00:44:01.420 If you're communicating effectively with your wife, walk me through a scenario where you guys
00:44:07.340 have a disagreement and how you would handle yourself.
00:44:10.720 Well, if, and ideally the way I would handle it, if we had a disagreement is I would be calm
00:44:15.680 and I would be cool and I would be collected.
00:44:17.700 I might take a step back and come back in with a more logical approach.
00:44:21.700 I might explain to her that I love her and I'm trying to do what's in the best interest
00:44:24.940 of the family, but maybe I don't see all the perspectives.
00:44:27.100 What's her perspective.
00:44:28.400 This is what you would do.
00:44:29.720 And now it's a better vision of how you would show up than just be a better husband.
00:44:35.100 Yeah.
00:44:35.560 But you do that by starting somewhere and then analyzing it.
00:44:40.180 And that's what's so great about our battle planning process.
00:44:43.160 Starts with a vision, work backwards into objectives, work backwards.
00:44:47.600 And then at the end of that, then we look and we see, did this achieve the result, the
00:44:53.240 vision that I had for myself.
00:44:55.020 And it's this cycle, this perpetual cycle that we go through over and over and over and
00:44:59.240 over and over and over again, every single quarter.
00:45:02.100 And that after action review leads us to crystallizing our vision.
00:45:05.820 So if it's on in the health realm and you decide, Hey, you know, uh, my vision for myself as a
00:45:12.960 man is I'm going to be 15 sub 15% body fat, and I'm going to be able to run a sub seven
00:45:17.960 minute mile.
00:45:18.640 And I'm going to be able to pull two times my weight on deadlift.
00:45:21.500 And I'm going to do the Spartan race.
00:45:24.200 Then you're going to do the tactics and the objectives.
00:45:26.000 And then you're coming up, come back and see, did the things I did achieve that result?
00:45:30.560 And if they did, is that still of interest to me?
00:45:35.520 Is that still, still part of my identity?
00:45:37.880 Is it still part of who I want to be?
00:45:39.600 If it is go deeper, if it isn't pivot.
00:45:43.820 Yeah.
00:45:44.580 You think that helps?
00:45:46.320 Totally.
00:45:46.920 Totally.
00:45:47.240 I mean, I think far too often we see visions it's, it's, um, uh, you know, I want to have
00:45:53.060 a bigger house, uh, you know, I want to make some money, you know what I mean?
00:45:57.860 They're like almost like long-term strategies.
00:45:59.920 And you alluded to it, Ryan, I think for me, the more that vision's around who you are being
00:46:06.680 or how you show up, the better, because now it's a, it's a compass for you.
00:46:12.320 It's like, okay, wait, hold on a second.
00:46:14.180 The man I'm trying to become is calm and confident, but humble and is teachable and loving and
00:46:21.260 caring check.
00:46:23.560 Now I know how I should show up in this circumstance.
00:46:25.960 And it kind of transcends multiple scenarios way better than be a good husband for instance,
00:46:31.520 or have a nice car or a bigger home.
00:46:34.540 Yeah.
00:46:35.180 Well, and the thing that we need to realize is that our objectives are not our vision.
00:46:39.580 So if you say, well, I want to have a 3000 square foot home in this place.
00:46:43.680 And it looks like this, nothing wrong with that.
00:46:46.540 It's just not vision.
00:46:47.300 That's an objective.
00:46:48.180 That's something that you want.
00:46:49.280 A vision is who's the kind of man who could have that kind of house, right?
00:46:57.360 Or, or, or have this kind of lifestyle, right?
00:47:00.880 Oh, I want to be able to take vacations with my family.
00:47:04.040 That's not a vision.
00:47:05.240 That's an objective.
00:47:05.940 I want to go to Italy with my family because we're going to have a lot of good time and
00:47:10.720 fun.
00:47:11.040 It's an objective, but the vision is, Hey, I'm the kind of man who shows up in a powerful
00:47:16.140 way.
00:47:16.480 I add value to people's lives.
00:47:18.440 They pay me handsomely for it.
00:47:20.240 And then I use that money and I invest that in my family in different ways.
00:47:25.580 That's a vision.
00:47:26.740 So to your point, you said, who do I want to be?
00:47:29.720 That's the vision.
00:47:31.260 How it shows up might be more along the lines of that objective.
00:47:36.380 Objectives.
00:47:36.580 The problem with having your vision tied into your objectives is that external circumstances
00:47:42.400 a lot of times dictate things beyond your control.
00:47:45.780 So if, if, you know, the economy tanks, that's probably going to change some of your, your
00:47:51.760 objectives, but it shouldn't change your vision.
00:47:55.120 No, your vision will still, you still want to show up in a certain way, regardless of
00:48:02.040 those external circumstances.
00:48:03.180 And this is powerful because, and look, I'm, I'm going through it and I, and I have gone
00:48:07.280 through it and I will continue to go through it in my life.
00:48:09.080 If we tie up our identity, the kind of men that we want to be in external circumstances,
00:48:14.860 those things go away.
00:48:17.060 They get taken from us.
00:48:18.720 They deteriorate.
00:48:19.120 We do things that sabotage those things.
00:48:22.280 Like there's things that happen and they go away.
00:48:24.120 And if our identity is wrapped up in those externalities, when those externalities go
00:48:29.080 away, we're left as the shell of the men that we thought we were.
00:48:33.360 But if your vision of who you are and the kind of man you are is based on not externalities,
00:48:38.060 but internalities.
00:48:38.980 And I actually think the word of God, cause it doesn't change.
00:48:42.260 Then you can, you can take anything from me.
00:48:46.100 And I'm not saying it won't, it won't be difficult.
00:48:49.340 It will, but I'm still going to move forward.
00:48:52.140 And this goes back to a previous question.
00:48:54.120 How do you march on?
00:48:56.060 We don't tie up our identity in externalities.
00:48:58.440 We tie them up in internalities, things that are entirely within our control and to the point
00:49:03.600 of spirituality, things that are unchanging.
00:49:06.760 Yeah.
00:49:07.560 Yeah.
00:49:08.000 That's good distinction.
00:49:10.200 Andrew Lazarus, how do you repair your relationship with your father?
00:49:14.260 When you are the one trying to have a relationship with him and he isn't willing.
00:49:21.560 I'm trying to think of a good metaphor for this.
00:49:24.860 I can't think of one, but the answer is you might not be able to.
00:49:34.160 You are trying to control him.
00:49:37.320 You're trying to manipulate him.
00:49:39.260 You're trying to change him.
00:49:40.680 You're trying to get him to do what you think he should do.
00:49:45.800 How's that working out for you?
00:49:48.180 That doesn't feel good either.
00:49:50.320 Well, it's futile.
00:49:52.020 It's like, it doesn't work.
00:49:53.380 And so now you're just banging your head against the wall, which makes you miserable.
00:49:58.280 So you need to detach your actions from the results in this situation.
00:50:04.500 Not always, but in this situation, you need to be a great son.
00:50:10.280 You need to be a great man.
00:50:12.300 You need to be a great father, a great husband, a great teacher, a great coach, a great mentor,
00:50:17.840 a great value add to your community.
00:50:20.420 You need to develop skills.
00:50:21.800 You need to build wealth.
00:50:22.780 You need to learn how to communicate effectively with people.
00:50:25.120 You need to do all of that.
00:50:26.840 And then you need to just let the chips fall where they may.
00:50:30.800 Like, yeah, that's it.
00:50:34.000 That's all you can do.
00:50:35.840 So you need to get on the phone and say, Hey, dad, the family and I would like to invite
00:50:40.560 you over for dinner this weekend.
00:50:41.760 Can you come?
00:50:43.300 And he might say, no, I can't make it.
00:50:45.740 I understand.
00:50:47.460 Open invite.
00:50:48.340 We'll have an extra plate at the table for you.
00:50:50.380 And if you're ready, awesome.
00:50:52.260 And then don't read into it.
00:50:56.140 Like, don't make up a reason why he's there, why he isn't there, what he's thinking.
00:51:01.700 No, you can't control him.
00:51:03.100 And you actually don't know why he's there.
00:51:04.960 Maybe he feels, but maybe you invite him and he says no, or maybe even worse.
00:51:09.840 He says yes.
00:51:10.400 And then just doesn't show up.
00:51:13.400 And do you start conjuring up all these stories about how he's a dick and he's an asshole and
00:51:19.680 he's a loser.
00:51:20.720 And, and you know what?
00:51:21.860 He might be at home feeling unworthy of being at your table.
00:51:26.620 Like he might, he might be there and he's like, oh man, I want to like, I'm going to
00:51:33.000 get emotional here, but I want to go see my son and like, I want to be with his wife and
00:51:38.500 I want to see my grandkids, but I'm such an asshole and I've treated him so poorly for
00:51:44.840 a decade.
00:51:46.140 I don't deserve to be there.
00:51:48.320 I'm not going to go.
00:51:49.340 That actually might be the story he's telling.
00:51:52.320 And you're talking about how big of a dick he is.
00:51:57.800 Don't make up stories about other people.
00:52:00.840 Do everything that you can to be the kind of son that you want to be and detach yourself
00:52:08.360 from the rest.
00:52:08.940 That's all you can do.
00:52:09.860 There's an element of this, you know, we talked about this early about relationships being
00:52:17.660 complete and, and you may, you may need to complete things with him and you may need
00:52:29.500 to even restore your integrity with him, regardless of him changing or showing up differently for
00:52:36.200 you.
00:52:36.420 That's right.
00:52:37.320 And I know that's super hard, but we, I mean, we've had this conversation in the Iron
00:52:41.600 Council so many times, right?
00:52:43.540 Because we get these guys that are like, well, how do I complete my relationship with my father
00:52:48.080 that's passed away?
00:52:49.140 Right.
00:52:49.420 Or how do I complete?
00:52:50.480 And they all think when we do this, I shouldn't be projecting.
00:52:55.000 I do this.
00:52:55.700 This is a natural tendency that, oh, well, I need to talk to him and I'm going to lay it
00:53:01.100 all out, all my judgments.
00:53:03.940 So then that way I feel whole and complete about the relationship because they expect
00:53:10.540 that they're going to respond in a certain way.
00:53:12.480 They're going to show up differently.
00:53:13.500 They're going to communicate something.
00:53:14.920 And then I feel fine.
00:53:15.880 And the lie is you don't need them to do anything other than be who they are for you to be complete.
00:53:24.560 What you need to quote unquote, be complete with is the area by which you've been out
00:53:29.520 of integrity.
00:53:30.180 I would challenge Andrea and I don't, obviously we don't know, have enough details, but I would
00:53:37.660 suggest that you've probably been withholding affection and love in your relationship with
00:53:46.200 your dad due to your judgment of him.
00:53:48.440 You want to take the high road here, you go have a conversation with your dad and you
00:53:54.680 apologize for doing that with zero expectations that he's going to do it back and zero expectations
00:54:02.320 that he's going to be different.
00:54:03.300 But you be you, just right back to what you're saying to Ryan, you be the best son possible.
00:54:08.440 And sometimes being the best son possible is you going, hey dad, I've been judging you
00:54:13.260 unfairly for the last 10 years when you don't show up to these things or I feels, or I interpret
00:54:21.180 this as, as you not wanting to, I've been totally judging you for that.
00:54:25.000 And I'm sorry.
00:54:26.240 And I'm your son.
00:54:27.340 I love you.
00:54:28.640 Would love to have you around and at least get complete with it.
00:54:32.360 And there's huge power in that.
00:54:34.260 That way he knows, because back to the, the story of the analogy that you used earlier,
00:54:38.860 Ryan, he might also be sitting in this house going, I don't want to go to lunch.
00:54:42.340 Why?
00:54:43.680 Because I know my son doesn't care about me.
00:54:47.340 He constantly, he never shows up when I've invited him over here, or I think he's just
00:54:52.640 trying to change me and I'm not worthy of his love or whatever, based upon the way that
00:54:57.120 you've been dealing with him.
00:54:58.380 So at least get complete with how you're showing up in the relationship.
00:55:02.160 Yeah.
00:55:03.740 Look, I, I, this is powerful.
00:55:05.300 Cause I know a lot of men are dealing with these father, other type wounds.
00:55:08.300 I look, I have been, you know, the only reason I tell you that is because that's what I
00:55:13.060 was doing to my dad, my dad's passed away now, but that's what I was doing to him.
00:55:18.000 You know how many times he called for my birthday?
00:55:22.120 Very few, like very few.
00:55:25.040 I can't actually, I can't even remember one.
00:55:28.200 And then I would see him or I would talk to him months later and he would say, Hey, yeah,
00:55:33.400 it was your birthday.
00:55:34.060 I've got a present for you.
00:55:35.340 You know how many times he sent that present?
00:55:37.540 Zero.
00:55:40.420 And I held stuff like that over him.
00:55:44.400 But why should I have done, should he have done those things?
00:55:47.140 Yeah, he should have.
00:55:49.280 Absolutely.
00:55:50.420 Unequivocally, he should have called me on my birthday.
00:55:52.820 If he made a commitment to send a gift, he should have sent the gift.
00:55:55.460 Like, absolutely.
00:55:56.780 But I now realize, I don't know why he did or didn't, maybe he was broke and he didn't
00:56:03.880 have the money and he didn't want to be embarrassed and tell me he didn't have the money.
00:56:07.800 Or maybe that he wanted to call me, but he felt so guilty about calling because he missed
00:56:14.120 last year's that he just didn't want to bring that up again or deal with that memory.
00:56:17.960 Or maybe he forgot because he was busy serving his family.
00:56:21.700 Like, there's a thousand reasons, none of which are diabolical in nature.
00:56:28.080 Like, it's just life.
00:56:30.980 And we just expect people to do what we want them to at all times without taking into consideration
00:56:37.160 their own situation.
00:56:40.400 And we add so much weight to it.
00:56:42.620 That shouldn't be added to it.
00:56:44.440 Same thing.
00:56:46.000 My dad has never wrote me a card, gave me a birthday gift.
00:56:50.600 He's never even seen me play a sports game.
00:56:53.820 That was one thing I always held over my dad.
00:56:56.080 Never saw me play hoops.
00:56:58.300 Not once.
00:57:00.060 And for years, I was like, oh, you know, he, but here's, here's the, here's the deeper rub.
00:57:05.960 What did I make that mean?
00:57:08.360 That he didn't love me.
00:57:10.840 That he didn't care about me.
00:57:12.500 That's, that's the interpretation I put on those actions.
00:57:16.100 And that's how I showed up my relationship with him.
00:57:19.140 My relationship with him was based upon the pretent, based upon the perception that he
00:57:26.020 didn't love me.
00:57:27.800 You don't think I withheld.
00:57:30.560 And I was a shitty son based upon that idea.
00:57:34.420 Of course I was, but it wasn't true.
00:57:38.500 And it didn't mean he didn't love me.
00:57:39.840 It means he didn't come to the game.
00:57:41.180 That's all it meant.
00:57:42.440 That's the meaning.
00:57:43.480 He didn't come to the game.
00:57:44.800 Oh, he should have sent a birthday card.
00:57:46.280 Yeah, he should have, but what does it mean?
00:57:48.940 It means he didn't send a card.
00:57:51.560 That's what it means.
00:57:52.620 That's it.
00:57:57.020 Yeah.
00:57:57.420 I mean, he could have, again, like, I don't know the situation, but maybe he didn't go
00:58:01.700 to the game because he was busting his ass on the farm and he couldn't make it to the
00:58:04.900 game.
00:58:05.160 But like, this sucks for both you and I, cause our fathers are gone, but yours is not.
00:58:15.460 So start showing up and then just let the chips fall where they may.
00:58:20.260 And then look, worst case scenario, you can walk through life with a guiltless conscious
00:58:25.500 in this department.
00:58:27.320 And there's something to be said for that too.
00:58:28.940 Let me share one other story.
00:58:31.560 And I think it's related if you don't mind really quick.
00:58:33.760 So I was talking with one of my older brothers.
00:58:37.220 A lot of people don't know this, but like my family's kind of broken up, right?
00:58:40.260 I have actually older siblings that have not seen my parents for 30 plus years.
00:58:45.160 We have these major, major drama and riffs and all kinds of craziness.
00:58:50.780 And, um, I was out with one of my brothers and he goes, how, how could you love them?
00:59:01.820 And my response to him was because I choose to, that's it.
00:59:09.720 Why do you love your dad?
00:59:10.920 Is it because he sent cards or he didn't send cards?
00:59:13.000 He does.
00:59:13.420 No, actually you should love or not love your dad because, because you just choose to
00:59:19.100 accepting the way he is.
00:59:20.360 You just choose him because you choose to, and it doesn't require them to be any different
00:59:25.980 than they are.
00:59:27.980 And there's power in coming to that realization that it doesn't require pretense on, on his
00:59:34.340 part for you to show affection and love.
00:59:38.880 I think this also applies to spouses, any kind of love, right?
00:59:44.680 Maybe you're, maybe your spouse, maybe you're thinking about walking away.
00:59:49.100 You know, maybe you're thinking about leaving.
00:59:51.140 Maybe, maybe you've quote unquote fallen out of love with your, with your wife.
00:59:55.340 Well, don't just don't like choose to love her.
01:00:02.060 Choose.
01:00:02.520 Maybe she's done some things wrong.
01:00:04.280 Maybe there's been some animosity in the relationship.
01:00:07.300 Maybe, I don't know, but don't just make the decision to love and to serve her because
01:00:14.100 you did at one point.
01:00:15.100 So stick with it.
01:00:16.560 And I think more often than not, that behavior or that way that you approach that changes
01:00:21.560 people might take a long time, may not be as quick as you'd like, but it changes people.
01:00:26.800 But you, that's a decision that you can make.
01:00:29.520 You already made the decision.
01:00:30.820 Now you just have to follow through on it.
01:00:34.100 I like that.
01:00:34.940 It's powerful.
01:00:35.560 Cool.
01:00:35.680 Any more questions or is that all of them today?
01:00:37.520 No, sir.
01:00:38.000 We got them.
01:00:38.980 I mean, Manish had a question.
01:00:41.100 How do you handle feeling like you're in a rut?
01:00:42.880 But we kind of covered that like three different ways.
01:00:46.020 Yeah.
01:00:46.180 I mean, look, really quick.
01:00:47.440 I think we got covered.
01:00:48.840 Feeling like you're in a rut.
01:00:49.980 Maybe you are in a rut.
01:00:51.180 So don't be in a rut.
01:00:53.500 Like do something else.
01:00:54.740 That's why you're in a rut.
01:00:55.620 You're doing the same thing over and over and over again.
01:00:57.480 It's making you miserable.
01:00:58.300 So do something different.
01:01:00.180 Yeah.
01:01:02.080 Yeah.
01:01:02.760 I like it.
01:01:03.300 You don't have to stay there, guys.
01:01:04.880 Like you don't.
01:01:06.420 You're not destined to stay there.
01:01:07.900 You're not destined for whatever path you're on.
01:01:09.600 You're not like, that's not, it's not a thing.
01:01:12.920 Just do something different.
01:01:14.240 I don't know what to do.
01:01:15.100 Yes, you do.
01:01:17.200 Yes, you do.
01:01:18.060 There's something in your mind.
01:01:19.760 There's a thought.
01:01:20.860 There's a gym down the road.
01:01:22.460 There's a promotion that's available.
01:01:24.240 There's a job opportunity you want to explore.
01:01:26.480 There's a woman you want to ask on a date.
01:01:28.900 Yes, you do.
01:01:30.840 You're just asking what should you do?
01:01:32.540 Because you're scared of doing the thing you already know you should be doing.
01:01:36.520 So do that.
01:01:38.080 And don't think about it.
01:01:38.960 Just go do it.
01:01:40.340 And then we can talk about if you're still in a rut or not.
01:01:43.880 I like it.
01:01:45.260 Glad I brought that up then.
01:01:46.660 Yeah.
01:01:46.800 I thought you had it covered, but man, it's a bit more fire.
01:01:49.900 More, just more preaching, more preaching.
01:01:53.780 The preaching podcast by Ryan Bicklitter.
01:01:56.440 That's right.
01:01:57.660 All right.
01:01:58.040 Bring us home.
01:01:58.720 Yeah, we mentioned a couple of things.
01:02:01.880 Iron Council membership is open for the remainder of this month.
01:02:06.240 So you roughly have this week to execute, to join us.
01:02:10.720 Go to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
01:02:12.940 And just like on Facebook, if you haven't joined us on Facebook, join us there.
01:02:16.520 That's facebook.com slash group slash order of man.
01:02:19.200 And of course, you can connect with Mr. Mickler on Twitter and Instagram at Ryan Mickler.
01:02:24.600 That's M-I-C-H-L-E-R on the last name, assuming Ryan's kind of a pretty standard spelling there.
01:02:30.880 I don't know.
01:02:31.300 These new age names are like R-I-O-N-R-Y-A-N-I-N-E.
01:02:39.460 I think that's more of a Utah thing than anything else.
01:02:42.520 So let's clarify.
01:02:43.360 So at Graham and Twitter, at R-Y-A-N-I-C-H-L-E-R, just in case.
01:02:48.900 Yep.
01:02:49.380 Cool.
01:02:50.100 All right, guys.
01:02:50.780 Hey, great questions today.
01:02:52.160 There was some common themes on those questions between spirituality and getting out of ruts.
01:02:55.680 And that was good.
01:02:57.380 It's interesting when we have themes.
01:02:58.960 So it makes me think about what more we need to talk about.
01:03:03.220 And we do, guys.
01:03:04.040 We take what you guys are sharing with us and we try to create solutions.
01:03:09.440 And, you know, we try to create frameworks.
01:03:12.100 We implement it in the Iron Council.
01:03:14.140 We try to introduce you to people who might be able to serve in those areas.
01:03:16.780 So if I see a trend, which I did on this one, we'll work to provide solutions.
01:03:22.120 All right, guys.
01:03:23.000 We will be back on Friday.
01:03:24.420 Until then, go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.
01:03:27.860 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
01:03:30.580 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
01:03:34.420 We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.