Order of Man - Teaching Daughters About Masculinity, Advice for New Fathers, and the Importance of Fatherly Intentionality ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. All right, man. Well, we're on a time crunch today. I want to get

00:00:27.120 through as many questions as possible because in honor of Father's Day, which I'm going to be

00:00:33.140 releasing an episode on Friday specifically regarding fathers, so make sure you subscribe.

00:00:37.360 But I figured we'd solicit some questions about fatherhood specifically from members of the

00:00:42.080 foundry and the Facebook group, which just passed 70,000 members, which is unreal. There's a video

00:00:49.340 video on our YouTube channel that has almost 2 million views. And I'm like, I'm still blown away

00:01:00.540 by that. I mean, literally at this point, millions of men are being positively impacted by the work

00:01:06.080 we're doing. And that sounds so weird to me. It sounds like her hyperbole, like, Oh, millions of

00:01:11.320 people will be impacted. It's legitimately millions at this point. It's unreal. And it's humbling to say the

00:01:17.680 least. And, and just your poor mom having to hit refresh to get the count up. 0.97

00:01:21.960 2 million times. Well, it's not only my mom, it's my wife. So they've only done it a million times

00:01:28.000 each. All right, man. Let's get to the questions as quickly as possible. Cause I know I'm on a time

00:01:34.660 crunch. You're on a time crunch. I want to get through as many of these as we can.

00:01:38.220 Sounds good. So these first handful of questions are coming from the iron council to learn more,

00:01:44.320 go to order of man.com slash iron council. First question, Robert Peterson. How does a man raise

00:01:50.080 a young girl in a world that seems to demean masculinity, showing her and others that masculinity

00:01:55.380 and being a man are not bad things as they would like to try to show it to be?

00:02:02.120 Yeah. You just get her around good men. That could be, that's you. Hopefully you would. I hope you fit

00:02:07.660 that bill. Potentially your grandfather or grandfathers, siblings, uncles, even men in your

00:02:15.840 circle. And then you show her what being a good, knowable, capable, courageous, honorable man looks

00:02:22.960 like. And then depending on her age or her maturity level, you connect the dots. I think this is where

00:02:30.900 a lot of guys fall short. What they'll do is they'll say, well, I'm being in a great example.

00:02:34.420 Well, that's good. But sometimes kids don't connect the dots. So it's your job to, um,

00:02:42.200 instead of just hoping that through osmosis, she learns that uncle John is a great man,

00:02:48.980 explain to her some stories about uncle John. Hey, uncle John served in the military and he did this.

00:02:59.160 And, uh, when there was people in his neighborhood who were sick, he brought them food and that's

00:03:04.880 what great men do. So we, we connect the dots. We, we have the experience and the example, and then

00:03:12.820 we have the story, the narration that goes around it. We need to make sure that they're picking up on

00:03:18.860 those examples, right? Because otherwise they're going to interpret it through their little eyes and

00:03:24.020 their little ears and their little brains and also their experiences too. Yeah. Right. And, and I hate

00:03:30.440 to say it this way, but let's, let's just say, and this is, this is horrific, but it needs to be

00:03:35.800 said. Let's just say that a young girl has been molested or raped by her uncle. Again, horrific, but 0.99

00:03:47.060 let's just assume for a second that's happened in her mind. If she is, if she doesn't deal with this

00:03:53.220 or learn to deal with this through adults in a healthy manner, she might make the connection that

00:03:57.960 because she was molested, that all men are a threat to her. And I would argue that there is a

00:04:04.980 large percentage of women who believe that because they've had a potentially horrific encounter or

00:04:13.520 experience with a man and have equated it to all men behaving that way. Or, or even got that story

00:04:19.360 from someone else and they've made that their own. And exactly. So it's your job to give her the

00:04:25.540 experience, the positive experience and surround her with men who are going to show her that and then

00:04:30.480 make the connections so that she learns the right stories, makes those correct calculations so that

00:04:39.940 she can have a healthy perspective of honorable, capable, good men. Same goes for boys, by the way.

00:04:47.320 I mean, this is not exclusive to daughters either. So. I like it. I think one thing that's been really

00:04:52.640 present for me lately, Ryan is, is that to make it appealing, you know, I, it's funny when I think of

00:05:00.900 my ideal day, it's like productivity. I got this done. I did this. I came home above. And,

00:05:07.940 and I'm like being a great dad, husband, man, accomplishing all these things. And then I think

00:05:15.580 about it from my kid's perspective and I look pissed. I look angry. I look like in the zone and

00:05:23.300 that's just me in the zone. It doesn't look fun. It doesn't look enjoyable. It's not pleasant.

00:05:30.320 And, and, and I've been really trying to be cautious that my productivity doesn't come across

00:05:37.780 unappealing. The dad's like a boring drone. That's always upset and intense, but not enjoyable.

00:05:46.560 Right. And so I've been really trying to like be fun, be joyful, be playful and communicate those

00:05:53.480 things. So then that way they are attracted to wanting to be like me, that my sons want to be

00:06:00.460 like that because they don't want to be productive for productive sake. Right. It needs to be a little

00:06:05.380 bit more appealing. You know, I don't come home and they go, geez, dad, I want to be like you. Cause

00:06:08.880 you got so much work done today. Right. They want to be like me because I'm happy. Right. And I'm

00:06:14.480 joyful and fulfilled. Right. And I got to make sure that, that I'm communicating that way of being.

00:06:19.060 Yes. A hundred percent. You're going to say something. Sorry. Uh, I think I was just going

00:06:24.540 to say, and sometimes you have to be in, in the zone, if you will. So then just explain it.

00:06:31.460 Just explain it like this attitude of, Oh, because I said so just because I am, it's not going to fly.

00:06:36.740 It's not productive. It's not healthy. Yeah. So instead, Hey, bud, I really want to engage with

00:06:42.300 what you're doing. I want to roll with you. I want to wrestle with you. You want to play. I want to,

00:06:44.960 you know, play that game or I want to spend time with you, go fishing, whatever.

00:06:47.980 I've, I've got to take 30 minutes and I've really got to dedicate 30 minutes undivided attention on

00:06:53.400 this task. And if I can get this done in 30 minutes and put all of my energy into it without

00:06:57.260 distractions, because this has to be done. These are the priorities we have. And men are about

00:07:01.900 dealing with our priorities. So I got to do this. And then when I'm done, then I'm yours.

00:07:07.260 Yeah. So you explain it and then you follow through. Meaning if you said 30 minutes, you got to be

00:07:12.980 done in 30 minutes and you got to like tune this thing out. This, for those of you who are watching

00:07:18.460 the video, the cell phone, right? You got to tune the cell phone out, put it in your pocket, turn it

00:07:22.620 off, keep it at home and be fully present. Cause you said you were going to be. Yeah. So you got to

00:07:27.740 honor the commitment on both sides, the priority of your work and the priority of your child.

00:07:32.040 I like it. And the lessons being learned there is just awesome, right? It's like, Oh, okay. Like

00:07:36.200 that's what, that's what you need to do to focus and get something done and boundaries and all kinds of

00:07:40.720 other lessons. And you can even say, Hey, you know what, bud, I'm going to, um, I'm going to

00:07:44.720 just leave my cell phone at home because I want to be fully present with you. And sometimes this

00:07:48.380 turns into a distraction. Yeah. And I just talk, open your mouth and share. And I like that because

00:07:54.420 that's a connecting the dots even in that little instance is like, Hey, just so you know, I'm being

00:07:59.400 fully present. Exactly. Right. I'm going to put this away. Like they may not even notice that you put the

00:08:04.140 phone away. So it might benefit you to let them know that you're doing that. Yeah. Explain. And that's why I

00:08:08.720 was saying earlier is this whole thing. And I think it's an outdated view of like, respect me

00:08:13.780 because I demand it. No, earn it. Even with your children, earn the level of respect and communicate

00:08:19.120 your intentions, communicate what you're doing. This is not only good for you, it's good for them

00:08:23.740 because then the learning, Oh, Oh, okay. So when I have a cell phone and they will write my 12 year

00:08:29.440 old's like, dad, I really want a cell phone. Don't do it. Like, no, of course I'm not. I have no intention

00:08:34.140 of doing that this early, but when he does eventually he will, right. Then I want him to

00:08:39.040 have a healthy relationship with it. If I have an unhealthy relationship with it and I'm not willing

00:08:43.600 to communicate thoughts and ideas and the way I want to make sure that this is a tool that's used

00:08:48.320 for good, not distraction. I have to have those conversations and I need to be able to communicate

00:08:53.680 with him what that looks like so that he can have a healthy relationship with it as well.

00:08:58.200 Yeah. Got it. All right. Josh, uh, uh, Wickland, I grew up in a family where you always walk away

00:09:05.100 from a fight and turn the other cheek. As I grow up and think more for myself, I see that there are

00:09:10.260 times where you should fight back. How do you teach your kids the proper way to respond to physical

00:09:15.320 altercations like when to walk away and when to fight back? Good question. That is a good question.

00:09:21.700 Um, I, when it matters is start the fight, start the fight first, end it. Don't start it. End it.

00:09:33.620 Um, it's just when it matters. Like that's the answer. I know, I know that's kind of vague and

00:09:38.040 maybe even a little cryptic, but you know, if somebody calls you an asshole, it's like, okay. 0.99

00:09:43.540 Yeah. And like, move on. No big deal. Now, if somebody's threatening me physical harm, 1.00

00:09:49.680 right. If there's a threat of physical harm, that's something that I would say would, would

00:09:54.540 matter. Yeah. You, you need to defend yourself, right? If, if your child is in an altercation

00:09:59.480 where there's threat of physical harm, that's where they need to defend themselves or somebody

00:10:03.480 else, by the way, too, if somebody else is under threat of physical harm, then it may be appropriate

00:10:07.600 that your child steps up and that you explain to them why that's important. So really what you need

00:10:12.920 to be able to do is teach them discernment. Does that matter? Is that relevant? What action

00:10:19.380 should that circumstance elicit? Like what, what is it that, that I should be doing? How

00:10:25.260 should I respond? Teaching them the differences and distinction between reaction, reacting

00:10:31.380 versus responding. Like I look at reaction versus response is the difference between, uh, emotional

00:10:39.520 and, and rational. Yeah. Reaction is very emotionally charged. I'm just pissed. And so I'm going to

00:10:47.040 do the first thing that I'm going to punch them. Yeah, exactly. Versus a reactions like 0.99

00:10:51.880 I'm pissed, which is fine. Maybe you should be, but hold on. Like, what is it that I'm trying

00:10:57.280 to accomplish? Oh, I just want to get home to see my family tonight. Cool. Disengage. That's

00:11:04.040 the, that's the appropriate reaction in this situation, right? Teach them the difference, the

00:11:09.800 distinction between reaction and response, and then teach them what matters, what is relevant

00:11:15.420 and what is irrelevant. If somebody calls your son or daughter four eyes, it's going to hurt

00:11:21.080 their feelings, but it's not really relevant in the grand scheme of things. And so physical

00:11:25.100 alteration isn't worth that. Yeah. We don't punch people because you're offended. Yeah.

00:11:30.860 Right. If somebody calls, if a kid calls them four eyes and shoves them, then different. Now

00:11:37.480 you should be able to defend yourself physically and you should be capable of that. I would also

00:11:42.020 say putting them in some sort of martial arts is valuable because then they can actually

00:11:47.240 learn the real life ramifications of a physical altercation. Cause I, I would, this is just

00:11:53.720 anecdotal and maybe there's research to back it up, but I would suggest again, anecdotally

00:11:59.200 that those who train in martial arts are significantly less likely to get into a physical altercation

00:12:05.780 because they realize the consequences of it. Even if it's just in training, you get your

00:12:10.480 arm yanked on, or you get your neck cranked on that hurts and potentially death could come

00:12:16.000 from that as well. And if you're training, then you're intimately familiar with the results

00:12:22.600 of that situation. Yeah. Same thing with, uh, law enforcement military. Like I would suggest

00:12:30.540 that these guys don't go looking for fight. They don't, they don't want that because they

00:12:34.580 understand life and death situations. So I remember when I was, how old was I? I must've

00:12:42.700 been 12, 12, 13 years old. It was me and a buddy. And we got into, uh, a little altercation

00:12:50.820 with a kid and I got in a fight with him and he kicked my ass. Cause I didn't know, like 0.99

00:12:57.640 I didn't know how to fight. I didn't know how to throw a punch. I didn't know how to take,

00:12:59.900 like nothing. Yeah. And I had a bloody nose and a black eye, you know, nothing, not a

00:13:04.800 big deal. Just like a scrap, a schoolyard scrap. Right. And I came home and my, I knew

00:13:10.620 my mom was going to be disappointed. My future stepfather did what I actually think he should

00:13:15.720 have done. He's like, let me teach you some things. So he handled that really well. I

00:13:19.860 thought, and she handled it like a mom would handle it. And then she got me in martial arts. 0.99

00:13:24.100 It was Kenpo karate. And I did it for like four months and hated it. But still, I think that

00:13:28.860 was the appropriate response. So the point I'm making is maybe get them involved in some

00:13:34.540 martial arts, some sort of training that way. So they can feel confident, develop confidence,

00:13:38.440 less likely to get into altercations because they understand the ramifications and it just

00:13:42.380 develops and builds their level of confidence. And it helps them understand what's relevant

00:13:46.400 and irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. And I think that confidence and ego plays a big

00:13:50.620 piece, right? Because it's like, I'm upset, but, but I I'm confident in my ability that

00:13:56.400 I'm not going to, I don't need to like get angry and punch someone like a lot of martial arts.

00:14:01.680 So certainly jujitsu has a, has a tendency to teach us humility, you know, and eliminates the

00:14:08.020 ego. And so when, when someone's calling you name, you're, it's like the combination of those

00:14:12.220 two things. You're like, your ego's not at play, right? You're like, okay, you call me a name.

00:14:16.520 Like, so what? But you're also humble. Right. And you're like, uh, you know what I mean?

00:14:20.980 It's not worth it. And so it just kind of gets in the right mindset. I think the other thing I found

00:14:26.360 about training is that like, you never know who could kick your ass. Oh, dude. Yeah. Like the 1.00

00:14:32.920 dorky guy. I look at you, this nerd, this like skinny nerd. And I'm like, Oh, I could totally take 1.00

00:14:39.660 that guy right there. And then you just run circles around me. I'm a skinny looking nerd.

00:14:44.840 All that stuff. But it's so true. Like look at 10th planet guys. I'm totally making a broad

00:14:53.900 judgment here, but 10th planet jujitsu guys, all those guys you would have, you would, if you saw

00:14:59.500 them on the street, you would assume they're harmless and they're all so dangerous. I don't,

00:15:04.560 I don't know enough about it to say whether that I agree with that or not, but it's very,

00:15:09.260 there are people who are very deceiving. There's a guy that I train with Ty Nichols.

00:15:13.960 He's, he's smaller than me. He's, he's, he's not skinny, but he's just, he's smaller. He's

00:15:19.300 just more of a, like a, like that kind of build, right? He's lean. He's strong. He's lean.

00:15:25.340 Holy cow. I can't even grab this kid. Like I can't even grab him. Like I try to grab him and he's

00:15:29.260 like behind me already. I'm like, dude, slow down. Go like 80% so I can like grab you at least.

00:15:34.840 Hey dude, what's flow. I just want to flow, bro.

00:15:39.260 If I grab him, it's over, but he doesn't let me grab him.

00:15:42.500 That's funny. Oh man.

00:15:45.420 So it's also not over if I grab him. He's pretty well, even, even if I, even if I can

00:15:50.700 wrestle him for a minute.

00:15:52.960 All right. Nathan Miller, what are your thoughts on child discipline? Do you have any advice on

00:15:57.660 keeping it constructive versus being emotionally charged and reactionary?

00:16:02.240 Yeah. I mean, this goes, he said the word reaction.

00:16:04.240 I called it out. Yeah.

00:16:05.220 Yeah. It goes back to reaction versus response. And you got to think, okay, what is the point of

00:16:10.020 the discipline? Is it to punish the child? Is it to shame the child? Is it to make them feel bad or

00:16:17.180 guilty? I don't think so. I think the point of discipline, and we're talking about disciplining

00:16:22.800 your children from, from the perspective of, you know, like there's consequences of your actions

00:16:26.980 is learning that lesson that there is consequences to your actions. And we are trying to correct the

00:16:33.540 behavior, nip the behavior in the bud before it compounds and gets worse. So there has to be

00:16:38.700 discipline because if there isn't, then the child does not learn that there is a corresponding reaction

00:16:46.260 to their behavior, both positive and negative. And it's your job as a father to ensure, and this goes

00:16:52.360 back to our earlier conversation about connecting the dots, that you connect the dots between behavior,

00:16:58.660 consequence. This is also why I don't like participation trophies because behavior showing

00:17:06.780 up, kind of doing the bare minimum and winning that doesn't go together. You're, you're forming

00:17:13.540 the wrong connections. It's like on the, the connect the dots books that your kids play. It's like you

00:17:18.640 going from one to 10. And then you're like, I don't know what the hell this picture is. Yes. Because

00:17:23.440 you didn't connect the right dots. You got to go from one to two. Excel, win, just show up. Don't

00:17:31.820 win. Those are the connect, the correct connections, right? Totally. Yeah. You don't say too many things

00:17:38.220 that I take to heart, but you did say something the other day that I thought was pretty profound.

00:17:42.720 I think it was last week. That was a joke, by the way. You said something last week. You just didn't

00:17:47.260 even stop. I'm like, I'm like my brain. Is he serious? Well, I was waiting for you to like, you

00:17:53.180 didn't even smile. You're like, um, what was he saying? Oh, you said something last week and it's

00:18:00.620 actually stuck with me all week long. And I've been reassessing what am I trying to get my child

00:18:08.360 to learn? And, and I, and it's funny because when you said it last week, I don't remember the exact

00:18:14.320 context, but there's so many scenarios where it's like, um, I want my kid, my kid needs to take out

00:18:19.820 the trash and he needs to do this work. And then he needs to, and my focus is what? That he does

00:18:24.540 those things, but I'm not thinking about what I'm trying to get him to learn. Right. And I'm missing

00:18:31.540 the entire point. Right. And it's not to take out the trash. It's to teach them responsibility for

00:18:37.540 having their things. Exactly. Exactly. And what's, what I really liked about it as I thought about it this

00:18:42.700 past week is it remove, it's removing the emotion and my focus has changed where it's not that,

00:18:50.740 oh, my son is doing something wrong and he should do blah, blah, blah. It's, oh, okay. How do I get

00:18:56.380 him to learn that lesson? And it's not about me, right? Because before is a little bit more about

00:19:02.020 me, like show me respect, stick out your trash, clean your room. Yeah. Like it was more about that

00:19:07.960 than it was really. And then I, I, I pepper it with, this is for your own good. Right. Well,

00:19:13.400 by the way, this is really focusing on what they're going to learn. And you're going to garner

00:19:17.320 significantly more respect when you do it in a way that has their best interest at heart.

00:19:23.840 Yeah. You know, you're, you're actually, when you're like, I, I want respect, even if you're

00:19:29.000 subconsciously thinking that, and you're basing your response on the respect issue, you're going to

00:19:34.800 undermine yourself. Like your child may do it. Yeah. But not out of respect, not out of respect,

00:19:41.260 out of fear, maybe. Right. The ramifications that come with it. You know, this is one of the reasons,

00:19:46.460 and I've thought about this a lot. Like I don't embarrass my children when they do something they

00:19:52.060 shouldn't. Cause the goal is not to embarrass them because if you make them feel stupid, here's what 0.99

00:19:57.860 I've noticed. If you make them feel stupid, they won't even try it again. Yeah. Totally. So when my 1.00

00:20:04.680 child might, one of my children messes up, I'm not going to publicly call them out because then

00:20:10.280 they're going to be embarrassed. And what I'm, the dots I'm connecting here is don't even try that.

00:20:18.440 Right. And it's not, that's not what it's about. So from the time that my oldest was little,

00:20:25.380 when he would get in trouble, even at grandma and grandpa's house, and I needed to have a

00:20:29.800 conversation with him, I would always pull him aside. Never, never in front of other people.

00:20:35.260 Cause my goal was not to embarrass them. It's to teach them the lesson is to explain why

00:20:40.420 and then drive on from there. And I've noticed that that talk about respect. I think that

00:20:46.920 communicates a level of respect that you have for your child and they will respect you for it. Even

00:20:53.100 if they don't voice it, I honestly believe not correcting. Now there's certain things, if there's

00:20:57.680 some imminent danger or something, where, Hey, careful, you can't do that. You know,

00:21:01.860 don't get in the road. Yeah. Right. But within reason, like I don't do it in front of people.

00:21:07.040 I always, Hey, Hey son, I need to have a talk with you. Can you come here real quick?

00:21:11.880 We have our two minute conversation. All right, let's go back and enjoy ourselves.

00:21:15.480 Yeah. Well, and, and I think it's safe to say, and Nathan alluded to it, right? We already said that,

00:21:19.940 but he says, you know, being emotionally charged, we already know that at least for me,

00:21:24.900 when I hear that emotionally charged or I'm emotional, it's not about what lesson is my kid

00:21:31.120 that what lesson does my kid need to learn? That is not tied to the emotional charge. That is always

00:21:36.860 me. I'm upset. I'm whatever. It's, it's not about my kid at all. It's about me. Right.

00:21:44.060 All right. Tim Beck, I have two girls, eight and 11, and I feel I'm too protective and fearful at times

00:21:50.880 and don't let them experience failure or be as adventurous as I should let them be. How do you

00:21:55.820 balance father's instinct to protect while at the same time, allowing them the opportunity to grow

00:22:00.020 and experience failure or pain? Again, what's your motive? What's your goal? My job, and I've said

00:22:07.000 this for years is to render myself obsolete. Yeah. So if I hover and I overprotect and I coddle and I

00:22:15.460 don't let them experience hardship or failure or setbacks or uncomfortable situations, then I'm

00:22:21.880 actually not doing my job. It's the antithesis of my job. They're going to be more reliant upon me,

00:22:26.360 more dependent on me. And then when they get into the real world and things go south, they won't know

00:22:32.520 how to handle themselves because dad always protected them from that. So I think what you've got to do is

00:22:37.680 you've just, and look, I get it with daughters. I think he said an eight and 11 year old daughter.

00:22:41.120 I think naturally, I feel this way about my daughter. I'm significantly more protective

00:22:46.100 of my daughter than my sons. Significantly more. Would you agree with that? No, I'm the same way.

00:22:51.880 I think all guys are probably like that, which is kind of, I just think innately hardwired into us.

00:22:57.740 We're protectors, right? And we protect the women. So I think it's natural, but I just, I really

00:23:05.460 believe that what you need to do is you just need to evaluate and consider what is your job.

00:23:11.120 And, and when you think about these things before you get into the heat of the moment,

00:23:14.660 or you get upset, or you want to be protective, or you see something that's scary or uncomfortable

00:23:18.540 for them. If you have the underlying principle already established, then you're more likely to

00:23:23.760 make decisions based on what that principle is. But if you're just winging it, man, it's just not

00:23:30.140 going to work. I was talking with Dave Burke years ago. And I think about this in the, he's a top gun

00:23:35.260 fighter pilot, right? And I think about it in the context of that there's situations and things he can do

00:23:40.720 with a plane because he knows the fundamentals. You can't just jump ahead. You can't just jump

00:23:49.840 from A to Z. You've got to know all of the fundamentals and have those things in place.

00:23:54.600 And that way you can be more creative when you find yourself in a situation that you have to deal with,

00:24:00.500 but you have to know the foundations, the fundamentals. This is why in the book,

00:24:04.380 Sovereignty, The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men, I talk about your code of conduct.

00:24:07.640 It's the operating system by which you will operate and work before you get into this heat of the

00:24:14.540 moment. This is the same reason guys will say when they cheat on their wives, oh man, I just lost

00:24:19.580 myself. Or, you know, I just got caught up in the moment, right? Because you didn't establish your

00:24:26.320 rules before the situation happened. Because if one of your rules was that you don't spend time alone

00:24:34.700 with other women, for example, you wouldn't even got yourself into that situation. 0.98

00:24:40.540 So you need to establish your rules. And it's the same thing with your kids. If your rule or your job

00:24:45.500 at its most fundamental level is to render yourself obsolete, then you can measure all of your actions

00:24:50.600 against this and ask yourself, is what I'm doing right now allowing me, or excuse me, allowing them to

00:24:58.400 be fully self-sufficient contributing members of society, or is it hindering it? And then you measure

00:25:04.360 it back against your rule and then take the correct course of action from there.

00:25:10.300 Yeah. And I'd like to point out that you're going to feel uncomfortable. Like we moved to this last

00:25:17.520 week. Like the feeling of like, oh, I got to protect my daughter. Like that's kind of about you,

00:25:24.760 not necessarily about her too. So don't just rely on your instincts thinking, oh, well,

00:25:30.300 that doesn't feel natural. That's no, no, no. It's going to feel uncomfortable. I just want to put

00:25:34.560 that out. Well, I mean, putting yourself out of a job. Yeah. And then you, and then you add the emotion

00:25:41.240 of love and yeah, my kids child into the world. That sounds like a great feeling. Yeah. I mean,

00:25:47.540 I go to sleep every night thinking, cause what I do, one of my things at night is I go around the

00:25:51.780 house. I locked down the house. Right. And then I check on each one of my four kids. And every time

00:25:57.100 I look at him, I'm like, man, like my oldest, as his feet are hanging over the bed and he's getting

00:26:03.060 huge. I'm like, I'm not doing this for much longer. And that's not, I don't like that. I go to bed

00:26:09.480 every night, kind of like sad a little bit in a way, you know, but such as life. It's true.

00:26:16.260 And then you're like, man, I need to keep training. He's getting bigger.

00:26:19.880 He wears my shoes. Oh, he, his, his, his feet are as big as he's 12. Barely. He's barely 12. He

00:26:28.440 wears my same size shoe. He wears my shirts. He steals my shirts out of the drawer. He's a big old

00:26:35.580 pass. You better yank him out of jujitsu. You don't want him learning anything else.

00:26:40.840 You're like, no more. You don't need that stuff. He is going to be, he's going to be a force to be

00:26:47.600 reckoned with. Oh, I love it. All right. Frank crates. What is the best way for a man to come 0.99

00:26:54.420 along the side of a boy who does not have a father in order to help fulfill that role for him in a way

00:26:59.660 that has the best chance you're encouraging him and his willingness? I mean, I don't really know

00:27:06.420 the situation. Of course, it's got to be an appropriate situation, right? So that's one

00:27:12.420 thing you got to be careful, especially in this day and age. So I don't, I don't know if you're his

00:27:16.880 uncle or if there's some sort of like leadership capacity, or this is a family member or if it's

00:27:22.260 just a neighborhood kid. And obviously the greater distance, the more you really ought to be careful

00:27:27.240 of that and just go through the appropriate channels. Let's just assume it's an appropriate

00:27:31.920 relationship. And you'll have to dictate what that is. I, cause I don't know the situation,

00:27:37.460 the circumstances. I think you just involve him. I just think, you know, you, you never do anything,

00:27:44.960 not alone, but like you never do anything without explaining your actions. And this goes back to

00:27:51.100 connecting the dots again. Like if me and my son, for example, are doing orders and I'm doing something,

00:27:56.140 I'm not just going to crank it out. I always explain, oh, I'm doing this because X, Y, and Z.

00:28:00.620 Like the other day, I'll give you an example. The other day we had, what happened? Oh, somebody got

00:28:06.640 the wrong shirt. They ordered a shirt and we sent them the wrong style or the wrong size of something

00:28:12.020 like that. And I said, okay, well here's, so here's how we respond to this. So we emailed them

00:28:17.020 back and we said, Hey, you know, sorry, we messed up your order. And I told him, let me, let me go

00:28:22.200 through the email first. So I went, sorry, we messed up your order. Here's what we think it

00:28:26.540 happened. And what we'll do is we're going to send you the right shirt. And why don't you just keep

00:28:33.440 the other shirt? You can either have it, or maybe you want to gift it to somebody just as a way to

00:28:37.260 say, thank you for your support. And sorry, we messed up. It was something like that. And then I

00:28:41.980 explained to him, I said, okay, so let's break this email down. The first thing we did is we said,

00:28:47.060 I am sorry, not we apologize, not sorry for the inconvenience. I am sorry. What that means is

00:28:55.400 I accept responsibility for screwing up your order. So that's the first step. We always accept

00:29:02.820 responsibility. The second step is we explain not to make excuses, but just to give some context.

00:29:09.000 So they understand, Hey, here's what happened. I'm sorry. Here's what happened. Then the third thing we

00:29:14.660 do is we correct it, right? So we're going to send you a shirt on us on your way. We already sent it

00:29:22.540 off. And then the fourth thing we do is go above and beyond, which means, Hey, why don't you just go

00:29:28.480 ahead and keep that shirt for your troubles, gift it to somebody, keep it, whatever you want to do.

00:29:33.200 We really appreciate your support. Thank you. Now I could have very easily just typed up that message,

00:29:39.080 hit send and say, ah, it's done, bud. It's all taken care of. Yeah. But he would have learned nothing

00:29:43.920 from it. Instead, take a step back. It took me longer, took me two minutes longer to have to

00:29:49.380 explain it. And I don't have like a lot of time to spend on it. But again, my job is to render myself

00:29:54.720 obsolete. So I have to explain this to him. So in the context of what this gentleman is asking,

00:30:00.080 you know, if you're, if, if you're working on your car, Hey, bud, like come over, I'm replacing the

00:30:06.040 carburetor on my car. I think it'd be cool for you to check out. If you, if you're going to go for a run

00:30:10.500 or go shoot guns or go play basketball or whatever it is you're doing, just involve him, bring them

00:30:15.000 in, loop them into the process. The more you can get him involved. And by the way, these don't have

00:30:19.920 to be like dedicated teaching moments because there's learning going on when your head's in the

00:30:27.240 car and you're working on a carburetor, there's learning going on outside of how to replace the

00:30:32.200 carburetor. Yeah. So again, it's not like dedicated. Let me mentor you. Let me guide. No,

00:30:38.380 just involve him and what you're involved with. And he will start picking these things up if you're

00:30:42.940 willing to explain them. Yeah. And then look for those opportunities to connect the dots.

00:30:47.940 Yes. Yes. Got it. All right. Good question so far. I know the connect the dots theme on today's

00:30:55.520 podcast. All right. Bart Foltz, I'm hoping to be a father soon. Congratulations, man. Yeah. Him and his

00:31:02.960 wife, they've been working on this and I respect both of you tremendously in the role in that role in

00:31:08.280 your lives. What words of wisdom can you give me as my wife and I begin this adventure?

00:31:15.600 Look, everybody's going to tell you, you know, like, oh, just be patient. You're not going to

00:31:19.840 get any sleep and, you know, take care of her. And all of that stuff's right, by the way.

00:31:25.620 That's all accurate. So take that to heart. That's what you're going to get. I'm just telling

00:31:31.900 you the thing that you won't hear a lot is take care of yourself. Like, don't lose yourself in the

00:31:40.720 work of being a father. Find ways to disengage, find meaningful hobbies and interests and activities

00:31:48.980 and things that you can be engaged in. We were at training the other night and Jay was there and he

00:31:54.940 had hurt his shoulder, I think. And so he wasn't training. And after training was over and I said,

00:31:59.640 hey, you know, like, are you okay? He's like, yeah, my shoulder's been hurting. I think I'm

00:32:02.920 going to come back in a couple of weeks. And I said, oh, okay, well, so how come you're here?

00:32:07.040 And he's like, to get away from my family. And he said it kind of jokingly. And then he explained,

00:32:11.320 he's like, no, I just think it's good for me to come here and to be here and be surrounded with you

00:32:16.000 guys. And then also to just disengage from the family stuff so they can do their thing. I can do my

00:32:21.380 thing. So even though I'm not training, it's still a good thing. Like I thought that was really

00:32:24.960 insightful because most guys just wouldn't go, right? Yeah. Because he couldn't train.

00:32:29.640 But, but he gets it. He understands it. He understands that he's got to take time for

00:32:35.460 himself and he does it. And he's probably a better husband and father because he's willing

00:32:39.680 to do that. So that's, that's my, that's my bit of advice is don't ditch your friends.

00:32:47.620 Don't lose your hobbies. Find a way to take care of yourself. You're going to be a much more engaged

00:32:52.620 father and husband if you manage to continue to do that. Yeah. And I'd beat intentionality.

00:32:58.860 It's funny. I was, who was I talking about? I was talking with someone about this idea is like,

00:33:04.680 we have these careers, right? And we're just like, okay, I'm going to get training and I'm

00:33:08.860 going to get coaching. I'm going to go to college. And then when it comes to parenting,

00:33:12.160 we're kind of like, oh, well, I'll just act on my emotions. And it's like, really?

00:33:19.440 Yeah. We wing fatherhood, but we don't wing anything else. You don't wing your job. So don't

00:33:27.980 wing fatherhood. So be intentional about it. Don't wing it. And, and, and to add to your point,

00:33:35.220 Ryan, I think, and it's a little bit tougher, but I think there's some opportunity for you to

00:33:39.200 help your wife not lose herself in becoming a new mom as well. And look for those opportunities to

00:33:44.680 help her do the same. She might feel guilty for it, but try. That's what I was going to say.

00:33:49.900 Cause the interesting thing is as a mother, she's going to pride herself on being fully

00:33:54.280 committed and fully engaged. And anything contrary to that is going to make her feel less than as a

00:34:02.340 mother. Cause she won't be able to see that taking care of yourself is actually a better way to 0.85

00:34:09.640 approach it and will make you more capable as a mother. Like she won't see that guys struggle with

00:34:13.620 this too. They feel guilty for taking care of themselves because they can't see that it's

00:34:18.440 actually making you a better husband or father. And it's making her a better wife and mother. 0.79

00:34:24.840 Yeah. And on the flip side, they might generate resentment and frustration and burnout all while

00:34:31.220 going, you know, that'd be selfish for me. It's like, it's good for them. So it is.

00:34:37.420 Yeah. That's a good point. All right. Jordan, uh, Schink, how do you teach or inspire your sons

00:34:43.380 and daughters to have positive attitude? Many men in my family, uh, with whom I work with are

00:34:48.980 plagued with negative attitudes. In my opinion, it is one of the most unattractive qualities anybody can

00:34:54.480 have. I think you just solicit conversations about the positivity. You know, when we're around the

00:35:02.280 dinner table, for example, one of the things we do is what was the best part of your day? I don't

00:35:06.720 think we've ever asked like, what was the worst part of your day? It's always what you hate most

00:35:15.260 about your life. Yeah. Right. Like what, what about you? Would you like change if you could? No,

00:35:21.160 it's never, it's not, it's not that right. It's always like, what do you like? What do you like

00:35:25.800 best about the day? What, how do you, what are you most proud of? Yeah. You know? And then when

00:35:31.740 they have situations where I hate taking out the trash, just tell them, Hey, flip that around.

00:35:38.220 If you didn't have to take out the trash, what would that mean? Well, it means you wouldn't

00:35:44.220 have any trash. Okay, good. So what does our trash consist of? Toy wrappers, boxes from Amazon,

00:35:52.680 food scraps, like all things that are nice, that we get to enjoy, that we have the luxury of enjoying.

00:36:01.760 Yeah. The trash is, is a representation of all the greatness that we have. Yeah, exactly. So

00:36:07.280 we should be grateful and again, connect the dots, right? So flip it, flip it. When somebody says

00:36:13.920 something negative, say, well, oh, I don't like her because of this. Well, what's one thing you

00:36:19.140 actually respect about that person? Like, what if you challenge your kid to that? Oh, I,

00:36:26.720 a little Johnny at school is such a jerk because of blah, blah, blah. Really? Yeah. Well, that sounds 1.00

00:36:32.060 like a jerk for sure. But what's one thing you actually really respect about them? 0.99

00:36:37.800 Like just ask that and get them to think about, oh, well, I guess he's really good at soccer.

00:36:43.420 That's cool. You know, and then talk about, right. Talk about that instead. So you can flip these

00:36:48.920 scripts if you're willing to do it and you're willing to have the conversations and just invest

00:36:52.100 and pour a little time into them. You can flip these scripts and talk about it. And I don't think

00:36:57.640 it's that difficult. You just condition it. I think for, uh, Jordan, obviously maybe not applicable,

00:37:03.460 but for some of those guys that are default behavior seems to be negative. Um, uh, Tom bill,

00:37:08.920 you had a great quote the other day and it was something about general, you know, using a habit

00:37:14.140 loop to connect positive thought. And, and the suggestion was every single time you have a

00:37:18.840 negative thought, like at that, literally at that moment, like pause and do exactly what you're

00:37:23.100 doing, but do it in your own mind for yourself. Right. You know, because that's, and that's kind

00:37:28.320 of a given to this, right? It's like we, you can suggest to your kid all you want, but if you're

00:37:32.580 running around super negative all the time around your children, that's not going to help either.

00:37:37.020 Right. So you obviously need to be in a positive state. And, and I like that idea of a, almost

00:37:42.220 kind of a hijacking the habit loop to inject my own positive thoughts. Every single time I have

00:37:46.600 a negative one, I was like, Oh, kind of like that. I, so I learned this lesson that I'm going to sound

00:37:51.400 like a total jerk, but I learned this lesson when I was probably 11 years old. I remember I was at an 0.97

00:37:57.900 assembly. I don't know why I remember this story and there was a moment. It must've been,

00:38:02.600 but there was this girl who got up. I'm sounding like such an asshole. And I, my initial thought 1.00

00:38:08.860 was, Whoa, she is really ugly. Like that was what was in my head. I was like, Oh, she is ugly. 1.00

00:38:15.060 Yeah. And then she sat down and she started playing the piano. And I was like, Holy cow. Like, 0.98

00:38:25.120 I mean, she was 11 or 12 years old. I'm like, that was beautiful. Like that was amazing.

00:38:31.220 And it just dawned on me. It's like, every time you can, you can choose what you see, right?

00:38:37.000 I chose to see that she was unattractive and, you know, maybe that was right, you know, but that's

00:38:43.320 what I focused on. Yeah. And I didn't even give her the benefit of the doubt of assuming that maybe

00:38:49.700 there was some other things that were actually really beautiful about her. And I found that out

00:38:53.960 in that moment. Hopefully I'm glad I learned that lesson quickly, but yeah, for every person that has

00:38:59.020 some sort of negative, I had this friend and he was, he was a jerk, man. He was so like, 0.99

00:39:05.520 at least I thought he was when I first met him. I'm like, man, I don't like this guy.

00:39:09.740 I do not like this guy. And he was arrogant and he was pompous. He was just kind of a jerk. 0.99

00:39:16.440 And then I went, he was a neighbor and I went through some rough times. I won't get into all 1.00

00:39:19.740 the specifics, but I went through some rough times. He was the only one that was there.

00:39:26.040 The only one that was there for me in those rough times. And that's the guy I thought who was a jerk 1.00

00:39:31.900 and he was arrogant and he was full of shit. And he was the only one that was there. 1.00

00:39:35.940 Hmm. So we, you know, you can see what you choose to focus on and you'll find it.

00:39:44.300 Totally. If you want to find something wrong with Kip, you and me, that's pretty easy to do,

00:39:47.740 right? But you can find it or you can choose to focus on, Hey, you know, here's some things that

00:39:54.700 we like about what they're doing. And you can do that with any individual, any circumstance,

00:39:58.080 any, any moment, whatever it may, I had Wes Watson, any argument. I had Wes Watson, spent 10 years in

00:40:05.380 the state penitentiary. He, he found meaning and purpose. And I wouldn't say beauty necessarily.

00:40:12.900 I don't think he'd use that word, but he found value in it. And he transformed his life in the

00:40:20.000 most, I can't even imagine. I mean, he was in solitary confinement for months, months and months.

00:40:25.960 Some of the most horrific circumstances that he found himself in and found is not the right word,

00:40:31.260 put himself into. And he found purpose, meaning significant and goodness there. And then has now

00:40:39.300 translated it over to his life and has made an incredible life for himself and his wife and his

00:40:46.320 son and millions of people. Yeah. To, to just add one additional thought to this whole thing.

00:40:54.020 We have a, we have a tendency to, to pigeonhole people as a fixed way of being. And I think that

00:41:01.460 also, let's say, you know, we are dealing with someone and they are a jerk. Like, you know, 1.00

00:41:06.680 I've tried to spin it, Ryan. And you know, this guy's just horrible, but there's also growth.

00:41:13.860 We believe in progress, right? We believe a person can change, right? And that in itself gives us hope

00:41:21.440 to realize that people might be in that place in their life, right? They may be just on the wrong

00:41:26.040 path right now, right? But the path isn't over. They're not in a box. You know, although we,

00:41:32.100 our tendency is to put people in boxes, like growth is possible, right? And, and sometimes it's just the

00:41:37.920 compassion of letting them grow and letting them work through whatever they need to work with gives

00:41:42.680 this hope, you know, and, and maybe see them as maybe their potential, not so much, you know,

00:41:48.900 the current state of being. And I, I, it's just a powerful way I think for, at least for me to see

00:41:53.140 people when I struggle with negative thoughts about people. Yeah. There could, there was a quote,

00:41:58.200 I can't remember it, but it was something along the lines of seeing people, not how they are, but

00:42:02.800 who, not who they are, but who they could be. It was something along those lines.

00:42:06.680 Yeah. Which was how we see our kids. Yeah. Right. And hopefully ourselves too. I mean,

00:42:12.280 that's what hope is. Yeah. And without hope, like life would be miserable. Yeah. If you don't

00:42:19.200 believe in progress and hope, what is there? Yeah. Like if you don't believe that tomorrow will be

00:42:23.500 better than today, like at some level, like tomorrow has, not that it's guaranteed, but that

00:42:28.540 tomorrow there's a potential that, that it would be better than today, then you wouldn't get out of

00:42:34.500 bed in the morning. So you already, you, we know you have hope because you got out of bed.

00:42:40.600 Yeah. It might be buried. It might be covered. It might be hard to see, but somewhere inside of

00:42:45.100 you, there is some hope. Otherwise you wouldn't, you wouldn't. Yeah. Totally. Um, this might be a

00:42:51.460 good last question for us. I'll let you decide. Last question within the iron council, Dennis Morris,

00:42:56.020 a riff off your signature question. He says, what does it mean to be a father?

00:43:00.420 Well, I don't have it as defined. I would say is like the protector provider presider, but I think

00:43:08.480 I allude to it when I say it's your job is to raise self-sufficient adults. That's the job of a

00:43:15.380 father, which by the way, it doesn't have to be biological. There's fathering that can take place

00:43:21.600 in your community. And it should, when I coach young men in baseball or football, I feel that I'm

00:43:27.540 in a fatherhood role. I'm not their dad. I'm not saying I'm their dad, but there's fathering going

00:43:32.200 on because I'm raising self-sufficient adults, not, not kids. I'm not raising kids. Understand the

00:43:39.460 distinction. Yeah. That's a good point. Like you're not raising children. You're raising adults.

00:43:45.200 They just happen to be children right now. So your job has to be on the longterm of, Hey, in 20 years,

00:43:51.320 is this going to be a functioning, contributing self-sufficient, self-sustaining adult? If not,

00:43:58.200 then you're not doing your job. So that means that there's a whole host of virtues and skill sets and

00:44:06.180 capabilities that I need to grow and expand and develop like love and empathy and kindness and

00:44:11.780 compassion and structure and discipline and guidance and patience and perseverance and grit and

00:44:17.660 everything that is taking me to the end of raising self-sufficient adults.

00:44:26.160 That's what it means to be a father. Cool. All right. We good wrap up there. Do you want to try

00:44:32.320 to squeeze in a couple more? Maybe take one, maybe one or two more if we can. All right. Let me jump

00:44:36.720 over to the Facebook. Take one more. Say one more. One more. Jeez. One guy from Facebook gets his

00:44:41.900 question answered. Yeah. Just get, just get the, just look in there real quick and say, boom, that's a good

00:44:46.840 question. Okay. Hold on. Sorry. And then be prepared next week too, if you would.

00:44:56.220 I like the, uh, Goggins video. See how I deflected there. Uh, no, the Goggins video, the snippet from

00:45:03.380 your interview with him that went up on Facebook. That was good. That was good. But what does that

00:45:08.040 have to do with being prepared? I'm just kidding. Um, no, I had already told you I'm deflecting.

00:45:12.340 No, that was a good video. Uh, or it was a good, it was a good moment. It was a great conversation

00:45:17.640 with him. Yeah. He's such a stud, man. Goggins. Oh, come on. It was funny. My wife and I were

00:45:24.700 talking about it. She's like, you know, that interview was, it was like an hour and a half

00:45:28.660 or something. She's like, I think it probably would have been half that if he didn't use the F word,

00:45:33.360 every other word. It would have been like short and 45 minute. It was actually a 45 minute interview.

00:45:40.040 It just took us an hour and a half or filler word. Yes. Word. Oh my gosh. He is funny. Like,

00:45:51.200 I don't know why, but that stuff like just makes me laugh. You know what I mean? Cause it seems so

00:45:55.780 extreme to like drop the F all the time. Uh, maybe it is a military. I think it is a military. It's a

00:46:02.660 military. It's a rough, it's a rough man's language, right? So if you're in the military

00:46:08.600 or blue collar, like contract construction, any of the trades, it seems to me that it's like a rough,

00:46:16.240 a rough man's language. I'm not saying it's bad necessarily. I'm just saying, cause it's funny.

00:46:21.600 Cause I've been around blue collar. I've been in the military. And so I, when they talk, you know,

00:46:26.240 people who aren't exposed to her, like, Oh my gosh, I'm like, wait, what did he swear?

00:46:29.960 Yeah. All right. I think I might find one here. All right. Well now we, now we ran out of time

00:46:38.300 here. Uh, this is a good one. We'll, we'll cover the, um, uh, well, I don't know. All right.

00:46:46.180 Rich Olson, a divorced father who has been very active in my, uh, 17 and 20 year olds daughter's

00:46:52.620 lives. What would you suggest to keep showing them and teaching them as they start their lives?

00:46:58.340 So, I mean, he has a context of divorce, but I don't think that changes, right? Like our kids,

00:47:03.120 whether they were at the house, how do we, yeah. How do we continue this influence?

00:47:09.140 Yeah. I, I don't, I don't know necessarily. I'm not in that situation, but I don't, I don't think

00:47:15.280 it's all that different than what you're potentially doing right now. You know, you just be

00:47:19.240 engaged to the degree that you can, uh, you'd be involved in their life. You ask questions,

00:47:24.820 you call you, if, if you come across something that you think might be valuable or help them,

00:47:29.660 you do, you invite them to be part of your life. I just don't think this is a real complicated

00:47:35.780 situation. And there's, unless there's some extenuating circumstances that maybe is overcoming,

00:47:40.860 I just think you'd be involved. Like that's it. Just, just be involved. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

00:47:46.600 Would you add anything into that? No, I, well, I just, I'm trying to look at my examples,

00:47:50.920 right? My family were, were not a good example of this, but, but my wife's family, they are.

00:47:57.740 And every Sunday, ever since I've, we've been married her grandma and it was her grandma that

00:48:03.380 did it. Her grandma was like, there's family dinner, my house or somewhere every Sunday, period.

00:48:09.920 Right. And, and she is now since past, but that was a priority. It was important to her. Her kids

00:48:16.420 knew that was important and, and it has perpetuated even after her leaving this earth. So, so I just

00:48:23.640 think those things, right, whether it's family traditions around the holidays or whatever, I

00:48:28.260 think that it requires intentionality as a parent, because your kids are going to, they're going to do

00:48:33.120 what we all did. You're going to get to college. You're going to get married. You're going to get busy.

00:48:37.040 It's going, you know, you're going to be juggling things and making that family or the bigger family

00:48:42.620 unit, a priority is going to be naturally kind of tough. And I think you just need to make it a

00:48:47.160 priority and be intentional. And I think that will kind of solidify itself. Like I'm thinking, you know,

00:48:52.080 like some fathers do like a father and son, like all the boys and the dad do like a fish trip to Alaska.

00:48:58.120 I've, I've heard of fathers doing that with their sons, you know, post, you know, living at home.

00:49:03.340 And I'm like, I love that idea. It's awesome. Like a guy's trip every year or whatever.

00:49:07.280 So, right. There you go. All right. Let's wrap it up for that question. All right.

00:49:12.980 No, it's a good, I mean, it's valuable. You still want to be involved as, as a father. And so I think

00:49:17.220 it's valuable. I just, I'm not there. I just think you'd be involved to the degree that you can,

00:49:22.020 but I do like your idea of like, take some initiative, you know, put something together

00:49:25.880 and invite your daughters. I think it was daughters, 17 and 20 or something. Yeah. Yeah.

00:49:30.200 All right. So join us on future AMAs by submitting your questions to Facebook. You can join us and

00:49:36.780 the 70,000 other men at facebook.com slash group slash order of man. And of course you can learn

00:49:42.980 more about the exclusive brotherhood, the iron council at order of man.com slash iron council

00:49:48.080 two quick events, September 3rd through the six is legacy. Uh, this is a father and son ages eight

00:49:55.060 to 15 years old. Learn more about legacy. That is order of man.com slash legacy. And then the order

00:50:01.200 of man main event, October 9th through the 11th. Um, and for iron council members, there's a get

00:50:08.900 together the night before on the eighth to learn more about that event. Go to order of man.com

00:50:14.320 slash main event main as the state. Um, subscribe podcast, check us out on YouTube, get your planners.

00:50:23.740 They're reading stocked, uh, inside the store. By the way, on the planners note, uh, I just finished

00:50:31.040 the battle planner for kids. Nice. Which is awesome. I've got my son. My oldest son is doing it right

00:50:39.080 now and he's got a friend who's doing it as well. So they're kind of beta testing it for us.

00:50:43.360 Copy. Uh, but that should be available here in the coming, I would say month ish or so.

00:50:49.380 I love it. I love it. That's great. It's going to be sweet. Yeah. And then, uh, follow Mr.

00:50:53.060 Mickler on Twitter or Instagram at Ryan Mickler. Um, should we, we, should we pull out just origin

00:50:59.000 immersion jujitsu camp? Um, I don't have the dates handy, but that's coming in. I think August,

00:51:05.040 August, September. Yeah. End of August. I think end of August. Um, if you guys are going,

00:51:10.520 um, register and, uh, let us know. So then that way we can, uh, make sure that we're aware that

00:51:16.860 you're there so we can get some roles in. And Ryan likes to beat up on, on order of man, man.

00:51:22.220 It goes the other way around typically.

00:51:26.860 All right, cool. All right, guys, we'll let you get going. Um, I think we've got another

00:51:31.260 interview lined up for Thursday. We've been doing two over the past several weeks. So we'll,

00:51:34.920 we'll keep that up for the next little while at least. Uh, and then we'll be back on Friday,

00:51:38.860 but, uh, yeah, that's it until then go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

00:51:44.100 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:51:48.680 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - June 17, 2020

Teaching Daughters About Masculinity, Advice for New Fathers, and the Importance of Fatherly Intentionality ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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