Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, look, I've got a very quick one for you today.

00:00:27.760 We all have pet peeves. We all have things that we hear or see that bother us maybe more than they

00:00:33.780 should, and one of the things that I've heard a lot lately that just gets under my skin a bit

00:00:39.060 is the term and the phrase, that's easier said than done. Every time I make a comment about

00:00:46.580 improving yourself, asking a woman on a date, going to the gym, starting a business,

00:00:52.020 getting your life in check, raising kids, whatever it is that I'm trying to help give

00:00:57.960 men the tools and conversations and the resources regarding, I'm occasionally met with somebody

00:01:06.840 who inevitably says, well, you know, Ryan, oh, that's easier said than done. No shit. 0.99

00:01:11.620 No shit. It's easier said than done. Gentlemen, talking is always easier than doing. It doesn't 1.00

00:01:21.800 need to be said. And the fact that it is said is not what really bothers me that much. It's the fact

00:01:29.500 that some of you guys believe so much. So in that concept that you're using it as an excuse not to

00:01:37.040 move forward in your life. Well, Ryan, you know, that's easier than said than done. What you might

00:01:43.280 as well be saying is I can't do it or I don't want to do it or it's too hard or it's too challenging.

00:01:51.660 And that isn't the case. That's your bullshit excuse to not do the difficult things, to not do 0.98

00:01:59.400 the demanding things. And look, I know it's hard. I know it's hard to go into the gym in the first time, 1.00

00:02:05.200 maybe in the past 10 years. I know it's challenging to want to start a business.

00:02:12.040 I know it's difficult when your marriage isn't going well and you don't feel like she appreciates

00:02:18.000 or respects or maybe even loves you. And yet you're going to be, you're going to have to be the one to

00:02:21.720 go first to try to reconcile, improve the marriage and the relationship. I know what that's like. I deal

00:02:29.700 with that every single day, but you're never going to hear me say that's easier said than done.

00:02:33.380 Of course it is. We all know it is. It's obvious. So many of you are using that as an excuse

00:02:42.360 not to move forward and excel in your life. As if the fact that it's hard or demanding or challenging

00:02:51.060 is reason enough not to do it. It isn't. In fact, if it's challenging, hard and demanding,

00:03:03.220 that actually might be the reason you should do it. Because most of the men in society from

00:03:12.180 my vantage point are choosing the path of least resistance. That's easier said than done.

00:03:19.220 It's just safer to talk and it's safer to flap my jaws and it's, you know, safer to hang out here

00:03:24.060 in the corner and not exert myself and not ask for what I want, not push myself out into the

00:03:28.100 environment. You know, that's easier. Is that what you want? Are you looking for an easy life?

00:03:36.340 Is that the goal of your life? That's easier said than done. Yeah. Is that your objective?

00:03:44.680 I just want life to be easier. I don't want that. You don't want that. You wouldn't be listening to

00:03:49.440 this podcast if you didn't want that. And yet you get caught saying these things. Look, words are

00:03:53.980 important. The scripts that you run in your mind are important. The phrases that you use,

00:04:00.620 the words that you believe, those are important. And when you're saying things like it's easier said

00:04:06.280 than done, what you're saying is it's too hard to do. I know it's hard guys. I get it. I understand.

00:04:14.160 But you know, what's great about it being hard. It's the, it's the world's way of testing whether

00:04:19.400 or not you're ready. I just had a great conversation with Tim Grover. He's the author

00:04:28.340 of relentless and his new book coming out, which is called winning. He's also happened to be Kobe

00:04:33.200 Bryant's coach and Michael Jordan's coach. And one of the assertions that he makes in his new book

00:04:38.460 called winning is he says that winning requires all of you. Winning requires all of you. And so many of

00:04:48.800 us are just halfway in, you know, I'm going to try this thing. I'm going to dabble. I'm going to see,

00:04:53.680 I'm going to start the side business. I'm going to just kind of feel it out a little bit.

00:04:57.660 Winning requires all of you. It requires commitment.

00:05:06.140 And it is, it doesn't mean that the path is going to be easy for you. It's not,

00:05:10.340 it's not going to be easy, but that's what makes it so meaningful.

00:05:15.760 All of us have done easy things in our lives. And while, you know, it's nice and refreshing at

00:05:19.980 points in our lives, there isn't anything significant about doing something easy.

00:05:23.740 You don't celebrate it. You don't throw a party for it.

00:05:33.480 You don't honor, acknowledge, or even remember it for all that long because it was easy.

00:05:40.220 But we do celebrate things that are difficult.

00:05:44.180 We do honor and acknowledge those individuals who have done something challenging

00:05:49.320 and overcome their own obstacles to excel. That's what we honor. That's what we celebrate

00:05:59.540 because deep down and inherently, we know that doing the easy thing is not anything significant

00:06:06.100 or meaningful. And we shouldn't be proud of that. You shouldn't be proud of showing up on time.

00:06:12.880 You shouldn't be proud of doing what it is you need to do. There's nothing to be proud about.

00:06:17.980 We've set the bar so ridiculously low that we celebrate showing up on time. We celebrate

00:06:27.900 doing what you say you're going to do. 1.00

00:06:33.480 How weak and pathetic have we become? 0.95

00:06:38.000 And by the way, I hear from a lot of men who say, you know, Ryan, I just, I want to build up 0.95

00:06:42.180 self-confidence and self-development and I want to get stronger and I want to be, feel happier about

00:06:46.420 where I am. Yeah. Okay, good. I can appreciate that. What are you going to do about it?

00:06:53.820 What are you willing to do about it?

00:06:55.900 I don't know. That's scary. That's easier said than done. Yeah, it is.

00:07:03.980 And yet in the same breath, you're going to complain to me that you're not happy or satisfied

00:07:07.480 or confident in who you are. You want to be confident in who you are. You want other people

00:07:11.640 to be inspired by you. You want to have influence and authority and credibility with other people.

00:07:16.720 You want to lead effectively in the walls of your home and in your business and inside of your

00:07:23.420 community. You want to do those things. Those are the things you tell me you want to do. You want to

00:07:26.900 do those things? Then get comfortable with the fact that it's going to be hard. And you know, I think

00:07:33.280 there's a real challenge for most of us in setting these unrealistic and false expectations of what

00:07:41.420 it's going to take. And I'll hear so many of you guys tell me that, you know, it was just, it was,

00:07:49.400 it was so tough and I just, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Bullshit. It's not that it wasn't meant to be. 1.00

00:07:55.560 It was that you didn't make it happen. Here's another one of my personal favorites. If it's

00:08:03.620 in God's will, if it's God's will, I guess God didn't, didn't want it to be. No, that's not what

00:08:09.880 it is at all. That's, that's an excuse. Cause I look at the relationship I have with my children,

00:08:17.740 which is similar to the relationship on obviously a different level that, that God has with us.

00:08:26.140 So I look at my relationship with my children and I can't do it all for them. They have to do it.

00:08:31.020 I have to equip them with the tools and resources and knowledge and information. I have to do

00:08:35.240 everything that I can to help them. But at the end of the day, they have to make those decisions.

00:08:38.940 It isn't my will that determines whether or not they're going to be successful.

00:08:43.880 And yet so many of you say that if it's God's will, that's passive, that's weak.

00:08:49.600 That's putting too much burden and responsibility on him instead of where it actually

00:08:55.180 belongs. You know, some of you are sitting around waiting for him to do something for you.

00:08:59.860 And simultaneously he's waiting around, waiting for you to do something with the tools and the

00:09:05.800 gifts and the abilities and the talents and the skillsets and the opportunities that he's already

00:09:10.980 presented to you. And instead of exercising those things and moving forward with those things,

00:09:17.980 you're saying, well, you know, if God's will, I guess, I guess it's just gonna, you know,

00:09:21.400 happen or, or, or, or, or it's just going to miraculously fall into place for me. No,

00:09:25.180 it isn't guys. You need to go create it for yourself. So what I would like you to do

00:09:30.900 is to strip that phrase from your vocabulary and anything like it.

00:09:38.120 You already know, it's going to be hard. You already know that talking is easier than doing,

00:09:42.420 you know, all that. Stop saying that. Here's another one. Well, you know, Ryan,

00:09:48.720 it isn't just that black and white. Well, what if it was, what if it was,

00:09:55.140 let's take a very small example. Let's take fitness. You want to get in better shape,

00:10:02.400 burn more calories than you consume. Well, right. You know, it's not that simple.

00:10:07.320 Some people have medical conditions. Some people have this and that. Yeah. Well, what if it was that

00:10:14.120 simple? And what if instead of trying to conjure up all the excuses and all the exceptions to why that

00:10:22.800 rule isn't the case, you just embraced it and you lived by it and you put some systems in,

00:10:29.380 in, in processes in place that would allow you to consume more calories than you burn.

00:10:35.000 And you just tried it. The words we tell ourselves matter. And if you're using weak

00:10:48.200 and pathetic words and phrases like if it's meant to be, it's not always that easy. It isn't so black 0.98

00:10:57.780 and white. And instead told yourself that this is going to be difficult, but I can do this.

00:11:08.380 It's not going to be easy, but the process is simple. And there's a very clear formula

00:11:14.020 that other people have utilized and had success. So surely I can as well.

00:11:18.980 If you're going to talk to yourself and we all do talk to ourselves have all kinds of conversations

00:11:27.500 in my mind. And in fact, before I hit record on this podcast, there was conversations about what

00:11:32.340 I wanted to talk with and should I go this route or that route? And there was a dilemma and discussion

00:11:36.580 and debate in my head. We all have this. So if you're going to have this discussion, you might as

00:11:41.380 well come to the right solution. And even if it isn't totally right, you know, for example,

00:11:45.380 let's go back to the fitness thing of burning more calories than you consume. Even if it isn't

00:11:49.700 exactly right, there's a lot of nuance short to that. Even if it isn't exactly right, me saying

00:11:56.720 that, Hey, I've just got to focus on these things burning more than I consume. Isn't that going to

00:12:01.360 put me in a better position? Isn't that going to move the needle in the right direction rather than

00:12:05.540 saying, Oh, it's not that easy. You know, I'm just big boned or, uh, I have, I have this,

00:12:10.180 these genetics or, you know, you don't understand me because of my temptations and you

00:12:15.320 don't understand my scenario and my specific situation. Guys, you aren't special. I'm not

00:12:20.280 special. Nobody I've had on the podcast is all that special. I'll hear from guys who say, you

00:12:24.660 know, we just want to hear from ordinary guys. Every dude I've had on the podcast is an ordinary

00:12:30.340 guy who at some point decided to implement some practice or a combination of practices into his life

00:12:38.000 to improve who he is. And the results aren't, they aren't supernatural. They aren't magical.

00:12:49.240 They're just the inevitable results of doing the right things. Ordinary average guys like you and me

00:12:55.140 doing the right things long enough that it just works out. And it isn't God's will. And it isn't

00:13:00.480 easier said than done. And it isn't. So it's not that it's not black and white.

00:13:04.480 Right. Do the work gentlemen and stop coming up with excuses. Stop using soft language. Stop

00:13:15.020 incorporating weak and passive phrases and definitions into your life. Because when you

00:13:21.760 say it, you're going to act on it consciously or subconsciously.

00:13:26.760 So I'll wrap this one up by saying, I want you to think about what you're saying.

00:13:36.120 Easy for me to say, of course, then do right. Cause words are always easier than actions.

00:13:43.280 And you know what I get wrapped up in what I say. I don't always think very clearly as I should, but

00:13:49.460 think about it. What are the words and phrases that you're adopting in your life driving you to do?

00:14:04.400 Cause you're not going to do anything you didn't think about or vocalize verbally or non-verbally

00:14:09.140 first. You're always going to vocalize it. You're always going to think about it first. Then you're

00:14:13.900 going to vocalize it. You're going to talk about it. You're going to internalize it. And then,

00:14:17.060 and only then are you going to act upon it. So if you're not producing the results that you desire,

00:14:21.800 maybe it's because your thought process, your language is off.

00:14:28.560 Easier said than done is one of them. That's easier said than done. Yeah, it is. It's easier

00:14:35.060 to flap our gums than it is to talk. We know that it's not necessary to say.

00:14:43.320 Stop talking about it. Start doing it. We can make a difference guys.

00:14:47.060 In our lives. And in turn, make a difference in the lives of the people that we care about.

00:14:50.840 Wife or children, colleagues, coworkers, friends, family members, community members.

00:14:56.140 We can make a difference, but the language you use is important. So use the correct language. And in the

00:15:02.500 moment, identify what the wrong language is and course correct and make amends as quickly as you,

00:15:09.060 as you possibly can. So that you are telling yourselves the right things that will lead to the

00:15:14.860 right actions that will inevitably produce the right results. It is easier said than done. Duh, of course.

00:15:24.020 So acknowledge that it's going to be a challenge.

00:15:31.840 Acknowledge that whatever you want is going to require some effort.

00:15:35.620 And that doesn't mean it's not meant to be. That doesn't mean it's not God's will. It just is the

00:15:45.680 nature of things. Like Tim Grover said in his book, winning, it demands everything of you. And it wants

00:15:52.980 to know if you're committed. I had a guy message me on Instagram a couple of days ago when he said,

00:15:59.000 Ryan, I read, and I'm paraphrasing. He said, I really want to pursue my dreams, but it's hard.

00:16:03.040 Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. Yeah, it is hard. So what? So what? Like, why are you telling me that? It's

00:16:13.660 hard. Why are you telling me that? Are you hoping that I'll say something to you that will make it

00:16:21.480 easier? I don't have it. Are you hoping that maybe I'll tell you it's okay. You don't need to pursue

00:16:27.940 that. That's not what I'm going to say. Are you hoping that it's an excuse so you don't have to

00:16:34.640 move forward? It isn't. It's going to be hard. It's going to be challenging. And let's stop pawning

00:16:41.760 it off to this excuse of black and white, or is it easier said than done, or even the God excuse that

00:16:48.940 a lot of people come up with and decide that, you know what? Yeah, this is going to be a challenge,

00:16:52.220 but I'm up for it. I can embrace it. I can do this because what I want is more important than

00:16:59.260 the difficulty it's going to take to get there. And that requires a healthy dose of truth.

00:17:09.220 Realistic expectations, hiring mentors, bringing people into your life, observing it as objectively

00:17:15.380 as possible and realizing that what you've done is not going to get you to where you want to go.

00:17:20.580 You're going to have to do something different and it's going to be hard and it's going to be

00:17:24.880 challenging and it's going to be demanding in the world or the universe or God, or however you choose

00:17:31.080 to look at it is going to require you to give everything to that thing. And if you're not willing

00:17:36.960 to do it, at least be honest about that. But if you're talking about being willing to do it,

00:17:42.240 then let's find out. Let's put those words into practice and let's find out.

00:17:50.580 Use language to your advantage. So many of you are using it to your disadvantage

00:17:55.340 when you're conjuring up excuses and rationales and justifications and reasons why you can't or

00:18:01.820 shouldn't do a thing. And that's your own bullshit getting in the way of your otherwise successful 0.99

00:18:07.720 life. Think about it guys. All right. We'll be back next week with another interview, 1.00

00:18:15.040 another ask me anything, another Friday field notes. Make sure you subscribe,

00:18:18.080 leave a rating and review. If you want to continue to have these types of conversations

00:18:21.280 in a more meaningful and significant way, join us in our exclusive brotherhood,

00:18:26.280 the iron council at order of man.com slash iron council. All right, guys, we'll be back next

00:18:32.420 week. Until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:18:37.360 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:18:41.760 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

00:18:48.080 to be.

00:18:51.280 Yeah.

00:18:54.280 Yeah.

00:18:54.740 Yeah.

00:18:59.380 Yeah.

00:19:10.200 Yeah.

00:19:10.540 Yeah.

"That's Easier Said Than Done" ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

People

Summary