"That's Easier Said Than Done" ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
Episode Stats
Summary
We all have pet peeves. We all have things that we hear or see that bother us, maybe more than they should. And one of the things that gets under my skin lately is the phrase, "That's easier said than done."
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, look, I've got a very quick one for you today.
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We all have pet peeves. We all have things that we hear or see that bother us maybe more than they
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should, and one of the things that I've heard a lot lately that just gets under my skin a bit
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is the term and the phrase, that's easier said than done. Every time I make a comment about
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improving yourself, asking a woman on a date, going to the gym, starting a business,
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getting your life in check, raising kids, whatever it is that I'm trying to help give
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men the tools and conversations and the resources regarding, I'm occasionally met with somebody
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who inevitably says, well, you know, Ryan, oh, that's easier said than done. No shit.
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No shit. It's easier said than done. Gentlemen, talking is always easier than doing. It doesn't
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need to be said. And the fact that it is said is not what really bothers me that much. It's the fact
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that some of you guys believe so much. So in that concept that you're using it as an excuse not to
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move forward in your life. Well, Ryan, you know, that's easier than said than done. What you might
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as well be saying is I can't do it or I don't want to do it or it's too hard or it's too challenging.
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And that isn't the case. That's your bullshit excuse to not do the difficult things, to not do
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the demanding things. And look, I know it's hard. I know it's hard to go into the gym in the first time,
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maybe in the past 10 years. I know it's challenging to want to start a business.
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I know it's difficult when your marriage isn't going well and you don't feel like she appreciates
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or respects or maybe even loves you. And yet you're going to be, you're going to have to be the one to
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go first to try to reconcile, improve the marriage and the relationship. I know what that's like. I deal
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with that every single day, but you're never going to hear me say that's easier said than done.
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Of course it is. We all know it is. It's obvious. So many of you are using that as an excuse
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not to move forward and excel in your life. As if the fact that it's hard or demanding or challenging
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is reason enough not to do it. It isn't. In fact, if it's challenging, hard and demanding,
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that actually might be the reason you should do it. Because most of the men in society from
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my vantage point are choosing the path of least resistance. That's easier said than done.
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It's just safer to talk and it's safer to flap my jaws and it's, you know, safer to hang out here
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in the corner and not exert myself and not ask for what I want, not push myself out into the
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environment. You know, that's easier. Is that what you want? Are you looking for an easy life?
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Is that the goal of your life? That's easier said than done. Yeah. Is that your objective?
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I just want life to be easier. I don't want that. You don't want that. You wouldn't be listening to
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this podcast if you didn't want that. And yet you get caught saying these things. Look, words are
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important. The scripts that you run in your mind are important. The phrases that you use,
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the words that you believe, those are important. And when you're saying things like it's easier said
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than done, what you're saying is it's too hard to do. I know it's hard guys. I get it. I understand.
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But you know, what's great about it being hard. It's the, it's the world's way of testing whether
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or not you're ready. I just had a great conversation with Tim Grover. He's the author
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of relentless and his new book coming out, which is called winning. He's also happened to be Kobe
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Bryant's coach and Michael Jordan's coach. And one of the assertions that he makes in his new book
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called winning is he says that winning requires all of you. Winning requires all of you. And so many of
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us are just halfway in, you know, I'm going to try this thing. I'm going to dabble. I'm going to see,
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I'm going to start the side business. I'm going to just kind of feel it out a little bit.
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Winning requires all of you. It requires commitment.
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And it is, it doesn't mean that the path is going to be easy for you. It's not,
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it's not going to be easy, but that's what makes it so meaningful.
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All of us have done easy things in our lives. And while, you know, it's nice and refreshing at
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points in our lives, there isn't anything significant about doing something easy.
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You don't celebrate it. You don't throw a party for it.
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You don't honor, acknowledge, or even remember it for all that long because it was easy.
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We do honor and acknowledge those individuals who have done something challenging
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and overcome their own obstacles to excel. That's what we honor. That's what we celebrate
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because deep down and inherently, we know that doing the easy thing is not anything significant
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or meaningful. And we shouldn't be proud of that. You shouldn't be proud of showing up on time.
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You shouldn't be proud of doing what it is you need to do. There's nothing to be proud about.
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We've set the bar so ridiculously low that we celebrate showing up on time. We celebrate
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And by the way, I hear from a lot of men who say, you know, Ryan, I just, I want to build up
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self-confidence and self-development and I want to get stronger and I want to be, feel happier about
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where I am. Yeah. Okay, good. I can appreciate that. What are you going to do about it?
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I don't know. That's scary. That's easier said than done. Yeah, it is.
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And yet in the same breath, you're going to complain to me that you're not happy or satisfied
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or confident in who you are. You want to be confident in who you are. You want other people
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to be inspired by you. You want to have influence and authority and credibility with other people.
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You want to lead effectively in the walls of your home and in your business and inside of your
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community. You want to do those things. Those are the things you tell me you want to do. You want to
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do those things? Then get comfortable with the fact that it's going to be hard. And you know, I think
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there's a real challenge for most of us in setting these unrealistic and false expectations of what
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it's going to take. And I'll hear so many of you guys tell me that, you know, it was just, it was,
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it was so tough and I just, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Bullshit. It's not that it wasn't meant to be.
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It was that you didn't make it happen. Here's another one of my personal favorites. If it's
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in God's will, if it's God's will, I guess God didn't, didn't want it to be. No, that's not what
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it is at all. That's, that's an excuse. Cause I look at the relationship I have with my children,
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which is similar to the relationship on obviously a different level that, that God has with us.
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So I look at my relationship with my children and I can't do it all for them. They have to do it.
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I have to equip them with the tools and resources and knowledge and information. I have to do
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everything that I can to help them. But at the end of the day, they have to make those decisions.
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It isn't my will that determines whether or not they're going to be successful.
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And yet so many of you say that if it's God's will, that's passive, that's weak.
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That's putting too much burden and responsibility on him instead of where it actually
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belongs. You know, some of you are sitting around waiting for him to do something for you.
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And simultaneously he's waiting around, waiting for you to do something with the tools and the
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gifts and the abilities and the talents and the skillsets and the opportunities that he's already
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presented to you. And instead of exercising those things and moving forward with those things,
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you're saying, well, you know, if God's will, I guess, I guess it's just gonna, you know,
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happen or, or, or, or, or it's just going to miraculously fall into place for me. No,
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it isn't guys. You need to go create it for yourself. So what I would like you to do
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is to strip that phrase from your vocabulary and anything like it.
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You already know, it's going to be hard. You already know that talking is easier than doing,
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you know, all that. Stop saying that. Here's another one. Well, you know, Ryan,
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it isn't just that black and white. Well, what if it was, what if it was,
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let's take a very small example. Let's take fitness. You want to get in better shape,
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burn more calories than you consume. Well, right. You know, it's not that simple.
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Some people have medical conditions. Some people have this and that. Yeah. Well, what if it was that
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simple? And what if instead of trying to conjure up all the excuses and all the exceptions to why that
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rule isn't the case, you just embraced it and you lived by it and you put some systems in,
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in, in processes in place that would allow you to consume more calories than you burn.
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And you just tried it. The words we tell ourselves matter. And if you're using weak
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and pathetic words and phrases like if it's meant to be, it's not always that easy. It isn't so black
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and white. And instead told yourself that this is going to be difficult, but I can do this.
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It's not going to be easy, but the process is simple. And there's a very clear formula
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that other people have utilized and had success. So surely I can as well.
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If you're going to talk to yourself and we all do talk to ourselves have all kinds of conversations
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in my mind. And in fact, before I hit record on this podcast, there was conversations about what
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I wanted to talk with and should I go this route or that route? And there was a dilemma and discussion
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and debate in my head. We all have this. So if you're going to have this discussion, you might as
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well come to the right solution. And even if it isn't totally right, you know, for example,
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let's go back to the fitness thing of burning more calories than you consume. Even if it isn't
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exactly right, there's a lot of nuance short to that. Even if it isn't exactly right, me saying
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that, Hey, I've just got to focus on these things burning more than I consume. Isn't that going to
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put me in a better position? Isn't that going to move the needle in the right direction rather than
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saying, Oh, it's not that easy. You know, I'm just big boned or, uh, I have, I have this,
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these genetics or, you know, you don't understand me because of my temptations and you
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don't understand my scenario and my specific situation. Guys, you aren't special. I'm not
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special. Nobody I've had on the podcast is all that special. I'll hear from guys who say, you
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know, we just want to hear from ordinary guys. Every dude I've had on the podcast is an ordinary
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guy who at some point decided to implement some practice or a combination of practices into his life
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to improve who he is. And the results aren't, they aren't supernatural. They aren't magical.
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They're just the inevitable results of doing the right things. Ordinary average guys like you and me
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doing the right things long enough that it just works out. And it isn't God's will. And it isn't
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easier said than done. And it isn't. So it's not that it's not black and white.
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Right. Do the work gentlemen and stop coming up with excuses. Stop using soft language. Stop
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incorporating weak and passive phrases and definitions into your life. Because when you
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say it, you're going to act on it consciously or subconsciously.
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So I'll wrap this one up by saying, I want you to think about what you're saying.
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Easy for me to say, of course, then do right. Cause words are always easier than actions.
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And you know what I get wrapped up in what I say. I don't always think very clearly as I should, but
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think about it. What are the words and phrases that you're adopting in your life driving you to do?
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Cause you're not going to do anything you didn't think about or vocalize verbally or non-verbally
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first. You're always going to vocalize it. You're always going to think about it first. Then you're
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going to vocalize it. You're going to talk about it. You're going to internalize it. And then,
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and only then are you going to act upon it. So if you're not producing the results that you desire,
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maybe it's because your thought process, your language is off.
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Easier said than done is one of them. That's easier said than done. Yeah, it is. It's easier
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to flap our gums than it is to talk. We know that it's not necessary to say.
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Stop talking about it. Start doing it. We can make a difference guys.
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In our lives. And in turn, make a difference in the lives of the people that we care about.
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Wife or children, colleagues, coworkers, friends, family members, community members.
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We can make a difference, but the language you use is important. So use the correct language. And in the
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moment, identify what the wrong language is and course correct and make amends as quickly as you,
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as you possibly can. So that you are telling yourselves the right things that will lead to the
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right actions that will inevitably produce the right results. It is easier said than done. Duh, of course.
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So acknowledge that it's going to be a challenge.
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Acknowledge that whatever you want is going to require some effort.
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And that doesn't mean it's not meant to be. That doesn't mean it's not God's will. It just is the
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nature of things. Like Tim Grover said in his book, winning, it demands everything of you. And it wants
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to know if you're committed. I had a guy message me on Instagram a couple of days ago when he said,
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Ryan, I read, and I'm paraphrasing. He said, I really want to pursue my dreams, but it's hard.
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Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. Yeah, it is hard. So what? So what? Like, why are you telling me that? It's
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hard. Why are you telling me that? Are you hoping that I'll say something to you that will make it
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easier? I don't have it. Are you hoping that maybe I'll tell you it's okay. You don't need to pursue
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that. That's not what I'm going to say. Are you hoping that it's an excuse so you don't have to
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move forward? It isn't. It's going to be hard. It's going to be challenging. And let's stop pawning
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it off to this excuse of black and white, or is it easier said than done, or even the God excuse that
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a lot of people come up with and decide that, you know what? Yeah, this is going to be a challenge,
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but I'm up for it. I can embrace it. I can do this because what I want is more important than
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the difficulty it's going to take to get there. And that requires a healthy dose of truth.
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Realistic expectations, hiring mentors, bringing people into your life, observing it as objectively
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as possible and realizing that what you've done is not going to get you to where you want to go.
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You're going to have to do something different and it's going to be hard and it's going to be
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challenging and it's going to be demanding in the world or the universe or God, or however you choose
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to look at it is going to require you to give everything to that thing. And if you're not willing
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to do it, at least be honest about that. But if you're talking about being willing to do it,
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then let's find out. Let's put those words into practice and let's find out.
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Use language to your advantage. So many of you are using it to your disadvantage
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when you're conjuring up excuses and rationales and justifications and reasons why you can't or
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shouldn't do a thing. And that's your own bullshit getting in the way of your otherwise successful
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life. Think about it guys. All right. We'll be back next week with another interview,
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another ask me anything, another Friday field notes. Make sure you subscribe,
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leave a rating and review. If you want to continue to have these types of conversations
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the iron council at order of man.com slash iron council. All right, guys, we'll be back next
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week. Until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
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