The 3-Part Formula for Starting Something New ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
183.22585
Summary
In order to be a professional, you have to be willing to be an amateur. Most of the time when we take on a new project, we don t do it because we're afraid of how we'll be perceived by other people. It's the fear of looking foolish, looking stupid, looking dumb.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Most of the time when we take on a new project, again, we don't do it or we're afraid to do it because we're afraid of how we'll be perceived by other people.
00:00:10.400
It's the fear of looking foolish, looking stupid, looking dumb.
00:00:25.420
In order to be a professional, you have to be willing to be an amateur.
00:00:33.600
You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:37.980
When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:42.420
You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
00:00:51.340
At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:56.700
Around this time of year, most men start thinking about how next year is going to be different.
00:01:03.660
They're thinking about new relationships, new business ventures, new projects, tasks, ideas, hobbies, interest, activities, etc.
00:01:12.260
But what I found is that there are so many men who not only do they not know how to start these things,
00:01:20.120
they let fear and uncertainty and doubt get in the way and keep them from having an otherwise successful, profitable, fulfilled year.
00:01:30.640
I'm sure you've been there where you've had an idea or something you've wanted to start
00:01:35.040
or maybe even something you've wanted to end or maybe you just want to get better at a thing,
00:01:39.620
whether it's personal or professional, but you're almost frozen by fear and doubt and worry and concern
00:01:45.900
and all of the uncertainties that come with taking on new projects and tasks and relationships.
00:01:52.060
So today what I want to do is share with you a very simple three-part formula that you can start thinking about
00:01:58.480
in order to go get that new job or start the podcast you've always wanted to
00:02:03.540
or write a book or ask that woman on a date or secure a promotion
00:02:08.380
or fill in the blank with whatever your goals and aspirations are.
00:02:12.160
The last thing I want is for you to struggle as we roll into the new year
00:02:16.360
and create a similar year to what you may have experienced this year if it wasn't the one that you wanted.
00:02:22.300
Now, if it was the one you wanted, we want to recreate that for you or have you recreate it for yourself.
00:02:28.340
The first thing that we need to be aware of when we're starting new things,
00:02:31.520
whether it's, again, projects or assignments or tasks or businesses,
00:02:42.000
They believe that they're not worth engaging in this new project.
00:02:47.120
They don't think they're worthy of taking it on.
00:02:49.900
And a lot of the times they're looking at past experience and maybe past failures
00:02:53.900
and considering that what if I fail this time or what if people ridicule me and mock me
00:03:06.540
I haven't really personally struggled too much with imposter syndrome
00:03:09.800
because my goal, and I'm not always the greatest at this,
00:03:20.140
I'm not going to tell you that I'm the greatest podcaster in the world.
00:03:24.300
If I did, there might be a discrepancy between what I think of myself
00:03:28.600
and actually how I'm performing, which is where that imposter syndrome comes from.
00:03:33.780
If, on the other hand, I can accurately assess what I'm doing,
00:03:37.140
my strengths and my weaknesses, imposter syndrome doesn't seem to be that much of an issue.
00:03:42.800
If, for example, in the realm of podcasting, I said, I am a good podcaster.
00:03:50.660
I have put together 1,500 plus shows at this point and developed a good skill set.
00:03:58.580
I still have room to improve and ways to communicate and articulate messages,
00:04:06.560
Now, you might believe otherwise, but in this case, it doesn't really matter what you believe.
00:04:12.560
And if I'm being honest, then I'm not being an imposter.
00:04:15.680
I'm not faking myself or deceiving anybody else.
00:04:21.540
The other thing that we need to get over is that you can do this.
00:04:27.060
You might not have any success in whatever endeavor that you're about to pursue.
00:04:31.220
Let's say you're taking on a new role at work or you got a new job.
00:04:35.840
You might not have had any track record of success in doing that thing, but you have had a track record of success in other aspects of your life.
00:04:47.400
I remember when I started podcasting almost 10 years ago, I had fear.
00:04:58.180
I'm just going to write this down so I don't forget that I want to share with you.
00:05:01.820
But yeah, I had fears and doubts and worries and concerns.
00:05:04.600
But I also knew that I had started a successful financial planning practice.
00:05:12.900
And so I was able to draw from that past experience and translate it over perfectly to the world of podcasting.
00:05:20.420
Now, there's a lot of learning that goes on and takes place.
00:05:22.780
But part of what I'm going to talk with you about is, and this is the thing I just wrote down, is that we have to change our expectation of how we'll perform.
00:05:33.340
Now, you might think that you're God's gift to whatever you're going to engage in, but the reality is going to paint an entirely different story.
00:05:41.580
It is amazing to me how often we, myself included, think too highly of ourselves.
00:05:51.700
We have these very weird, unrealistic expectations about how quickly we'll perform, how fast we'll learn,
00:05:59.300
how quickly we'll achieve the results that we're after.
00:06:03.820
And in my experience of 43 years on this planet, I can tell you that everything takes longer than I think it should or would like it to.
00:06:11.580
And everything's harder than I thought it would be.
00:06:14.380
And if we're honest and sincere about that, then we can move forward and do what needs to be done
00:06:20.460
and not be deterred by momentary setbacks, failures, or just not achieving the results as fast as we'd like.
00:06:39.900
And then number four, and my good friend Kip Sorensen brought this up on Wednesday's Ask Me Anything.
00:06:45.300
He said to drop the ego, and I completely agree with that.
00:06:49.680
Most of the time when we take on a new project, again, we don't do it or we're afraid to do it
00:06:55.100
because we're afraid of how we'll be perceived by other people.
00:07:00.400
There's a couple other reasons to be afraid, but primarily I think that's what keeps men from doing
00:07:05.360
what they want to do and what they want to engage in.
00:07:09.020
It's the fear of looking foolish, looking stupid, looking dumb.
00:07:24.180
In order to be a professional, you have to be willing to be an amateur.
00:07:29.240
So just embrace the idea that you don't know it all and drop the ego that says or is telling
00:07:35.580
you even subconsciously, don't do that because you're going to look dumb.
00:07:41.340
It is hard because it's biologically hardwired into us to consider the opinions of the people
00:07:50.720
A thousand years ago, 2,000 years ago, 10,000 years ago, being ostracized by the tribe meant
00:08:01.060
In fact, it doesn't even, that's not even on the radar for most people, but it's still
00:08:08.360
And we believe that if we're ostracized from the group, again, even subconsciously, that
00:08:18.900
I'm going to lose whatever it is that you're afraid of losing.
00:08:22.600
That none of that's going to happen as long as you're doing the right thing.
00:08:26.000
It's just, it's not going to happen when you put yourself in new positions and learn something
00:08:41.500
If it's the money and the finances, we can work on that.
00:08:43.720
I mean, it might take time, but we can work on that, paying off debt, creating reserve
00:08:47.060
funds, skimming back on the budget, all of those things.
00:08:50.520
But if it's just, I'm afraid, I don't want to say just get over it, but ultimately you
00:09:01.640
Fear can actually be a great litmus test or some great feedback for what you ought to be
00:09:08.120
If you're afraid of, you know, if the project goes south that you'll lose your job, that's
00:09:17.980
I'm saying be aware of it and how you can hedge against it.
00:09:20.340
All right, let's get into the second component of this.
00:09:33.880
Somebody out there is already doing what you want to do.
00:09:38.780
Maybe you're going to create something that's never been created before.
00:09:43.520
And I would say, hopefully that's the case, but it's not going to be today.
00:09:48.280
You know, even Elon Musk, we think about what he's doing, catching rockets out of midair with
00:09:55.240
That's something we've never experienced before.
00:09:58.100
So it is new, but there's first principles that Elon Musk and his team of engineers understand
00:10:16.020
Just realize, okay, I need some base level knowledge.
00:10:19.080
And there's people out there who are already doing what I want to do.
00:10:24.480
Most of the resource, I wouldn't say most, but a lot of the resources that you'll need
00:10:39.580
Hopefully I'm sharing content that's relevant for you.
00:10:43.760
And hopefully you're applying it for the betterment of your life and the lives of the people that
00:10:49.700
So you're listening to this free podcast, free YouTube videos, signing up for people's
00:10:55.560
email newsletters, taking this stuff to heart and really diving deep into whatever a person
00:11:02.960
Then we move up to the next tier of mentorship, which is paid programs, courses, and experiences.
00:11:08.260
So let's say you want to start a business using social media marketing to generate revenue
00:11:19.840
And there's millions of people who have put together courses that will show you how to
00:11:33.060
And I promise you, if you do that correctly, it will pay dividends.
00:11:39.360
My good friend, Pete Roberts, the founder of Origin, calls it tuition payments.
00:11:43.700
These are payments that we need to make for doing dumb things or making mistakes or messing
00:11:55.960
And that's actually a good thing because it keeps dumb people and unmotivated people out
00:12:06.000
And if you can pass those challenges and get over those things, you're going to be that
00:12:11.420
But you don't need to pay more tuition than necessary.
00:12:16.100
And you don't need to pay more stupid tax than you ought to.
00:12:19.660
So the way you overcome that is by investing, like I said, in courses, programs, mentorships,
00:12:29.240
Maybe it's going to an event or an experience or a conference that a certain group of people
00:12:34.740
are putting on so that you can get better at whatever the thing is that you want to
00:12:39.420
And then listen and apply what they're telling you.
00:12:49.900
Don't tell them that you've tried it, but it doesn't work.
00:12:57.880
I remember years ago when I was doing financial planning, I was probably seven, eight years
00:13:02.480
into the business and doing fairly well at that point.
00:13:05.600
And we had a new associate come on with, with the company.
00:13:12.400
I tried to offer help where I could, because I knew what it was like to be in that position
00:13:15.780
as a young advisor, trying to get clients and make money and help people.
00:13:21.540
So he came to me one day after struggling for some time.
00:13:24.420
And he said, Hey Ryan, I see that you're doing well in your business.
00:13:31.900
What kind of conversations are you having with people?
00:13:35.580
He was very thoughtful on the questions that he asked.
00:13:38.540
But the problem was, is that every time I gave him a suggestion or an answer, he had
00:13:42.740
a justification for why it wouldn't work for him.
00:13:45.920
So if he said, Hey, I'm trying to get referrals, you know, what, what are you saying?
00:13:49.360
And I would give him language like, Hey, who are your five closest friends that you would
00:13:59.760
And then he would say, well, you know, I've tried that before and it didn't work because
00:14:07.020
Well, yeah, I don't really feel comfortable saying that.
00:14:15.220
And I finally said to him, Hey, it looks like you got everything figured out.
00:14:25.820
And now you're telling me that you have it all figured out because everything that I
00:14:32.300
It doesn't work for you for whatever reason you can fill in your excuse of choice, but, but
00:14:38.560
And if you're ready to accept my input and my feedback and advice, my door's open.
00:14:44.080
I'm here to help, but I know this stuff works because it's what I'm using.
00:14:48.040
And we both acknowledge and recognize that I'm doing fairly well in the financial planning
00:14:53.340
If you want to help great, if not, that's okay too.
00:14:56.720
And he left and unfortunately he ended up fizzling out of the business.
00:15:00.060
His arrogance and his ego got in the way and it didn't allow him to take on mentorship and
00:15:06.080
not only take it on, but accept the feedback and then apply it.
00:15:11.200
Now, one of the things that I remember him saying was I'm not comfortable with that, that
00:15:14.920
verbiage or that language or saying that or doing that, that doesn't sound like me.
00:15:18.720
Of course it doesn't because you're learning something new.
00:15:23.040
This is again, where the imposter syndrome comes into play.
00:15:26.560
You know, if you're learning to play the piano and you sit down on a piano, like you don't
00:15:31.140
expect yourself to be good, you sit down for the very first time and you don't say to yourself
00:15:36.020
because you can't even do chopsticks that you're a horrible person and you're no good
00:15:43.300
I mean, you might have some frustration, but that's the extent of it.
00:15:46.480
And then you just keep coming back, but you're not an imposter because you're trying to do
00:15:52.040
But sometimes we think we are when it comes to business, for example.
00:16:00.420
The last tier of mentorship is actually hiring a mentor or a coach in small group settings
00:16:09.200
And of course, that's going to be more expensive, but that's just going to propel your results
00:16:20.860
Don't be afraid to invest in other people who have things figured out.
00:16:24.340
And when you do and you put your money where your mouth is, make sure you apply.
00:16:33.320
A lot of people will say, hey, Ryan, where do I find a good mentor?
00:16:36.140
Find the people who are doing what you want to do.
00:16:42.860
Podcasts, YouTube, social media, they're writing books.
00:16:48.140
If you do a Google search of who's the best podcaster for men, I'm likely to come up.
00:16:56.200
I won't say I'm going to be at the top of every list.
00:16:58.640
I'm not going to be at the bottom though, but I will come up.
00:17:02.280
So there's a person you can communicate with me.
00:17:04.480
And then what you do is you look and say, okay, does Ryan offer any programs?
00:17:08.060
And you look at his website and lo and behold, there's the programs that we offer.
00:17:30.100
When you take on new projects at work or a new job or any task or endeavor that you're
00:17:35.100
embarking on, it can be very daunting and overwhelming.
00:17:38.380
I was talking with a guy the other day, he joined one of our, he joined our program,
00:17:44.100
That's our brotherhood designed specifically for men.
00:17:48.400
And so he enrolled and I was talking with him and he said, oh my gosh, there is so much information.
00:17:56.720
This is 10 years worth of work in this environment.
00:18:00.340
You'll get your feet under you and we're going to help teach you that.
00:18:03.040
But don't get so consumed by trying to figure out everything right now.
00:18:08.980
It's called the basics and it's seven or eight steps that you can go through.
00:18:13.320
It'll take you a couple of days, two or three days to go through each of these steps and
00:18:29.220
If it comes to a new job, you might have a list of a thousand things that need to get
00:18:34.480
done or a thousand priorities or people are beating down your door, wanting to meet you
00:18:38.060
and people are wanting to see what you're going to do and who you are and what you're
00:18:41.900
And then your boss is telling you one thing and what he wants to hear from you.
00:18:50.200
And management is simply prioritizing and executing right out your, excuse me, right
00:18:57.920
I've got the hiccups today, right out your list, document everything that needs to get
00:19:02.180
done and then start categorizing these things into urgent.
00:19:10.960
And then maybe it's unimportant or delay or never important.
00:19:21.120
And then you take the ones that are urgent that need to get done right now.
00:19:26.220
And you ask, okay, what do I need to get done first?
00:19:29.340
What's the, what's number one, number two, number three, number four, number five, number
00:19:33.280
And when you're on number one, give yourself undivided attention towards number one.
00:19:38.940
And when number one is completed to satisfaction or it, or it's in process and you can move on
00:19:44.980
only then do you start thinking about what number two is.
00:19:47.860
And I say only then I like to have a general idea, but I only move on to number two.
00:19:54.120
Once one is either taken care of, or it will be taken care of automatically.
00:19:59.380
I only move on after because that allows me to change priorities based on external circumstances.
00:20:05.860
So let's say I get item one, two, three, and four done.
00:20:09.480
And now I'm on item five, I identified that that would be the fifth thing I would take
00:20:15.220
But in the process of a couple of weeks while I was getting one, two, three, and four done,
00:20:18.980
my boss comes to me and he said, Hey, Ryan, I know you're working on this thing.
00:20:25.040
We lost a customer or we're going to lose this customer if we don't do this thing and
00:20:32.840
I can make something else number five and I can pivot and I can adjust that's management.
00:20:37.680
So guys, we don't have to eat the entire elephant all at once.
00:20:46.780
And I want you to eliminate that so that you can actually move yourself forward.
00:20:51.920
I think about this a lot in the context of training, physical training and working out.
00:20:56.640
You can't put all the weight on the bar if you'd never have done that move before.
00:21:01.820
So you put a little bit of weight or you do a move with no weight or whatever.
00:21:05.260
And only then do you start moving on and progressing to more advanced techniques, more
00:21:12.720
weight, different lifts altogether, but it's always a priority.
00:21:20.160
Just look at the first thing, tackle that, and then move on to the second.
00:21:25.120
And then what I would say is a good friend of mine, Alan Placer, he's in the Iron Council
00:21:34.680
I'm not saying throw yourself a lavish party every time you send a couple emails to people.
00:21:40.900
Don't reward yourself for doing something that's expected, but honor it.
00:21:46.240
Hey, I got all of my emails done today, or I set up all of my social media accounts, or
00:21:50.840
I bought the equipment for the podcast, or I bought the program that I'm going to use to
00:22:02.200
I feel good about it, and I can check that off my list.
00:22:05.980
Acknowledge those wins, prioritize, manage that, and you'll do just fine.
00:22:11.840
I know it's pretty broad in what I'm sharing with you, but that's a pretty broad category,
00:22:19.860
If you guys have questions or thoughts about what you want to accomplish moving into 2025,
00:22:24.320
you can certainly reach out to me via Instagram is probably best, at Ryan Mickler.
00:22:30.480
And if you want to take this a step further and you really want guidance and direction
00:22:33.980
from me and a thousand other men, then consider joining our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron
00:22:41.400
I think 50-plus guys come in over the past week or so, and we're talking about everything
00:22:47.920
from physical training to entrepreneurship to finance.
00:22:51.800
We've got guys who want to start businesses, guys who want to pay off debt, guys who want
00:22:58.160
to lose weight, rekindle broken relationships, and we've got dedicated channels and discussions
00:23:07.440
So whatever your question or concern or desire is, you come into there, and all of a sudden,
00:23:12.900
to hit on point number two, you have the mentorship built into a program that allows for accountability
00:23:21.220
You can do that at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:23:24.560
We're only open for a few more, well, I think about a week, week, week and a half, somewhere
00:23:30.640
So again, guys, three-part formula for starting something new, mindset, knowing you can do
00:23:34.900
it, dropping the ego, and getting rid of the faulty and weird expectations.
00:23:39.780
Number two, looking for mentorship, free resources, low investment resources like courses or conferences,
00:23:49.620
And then the high expense, high investment resource like individual and private coaching.
00:23:55.040
And then the third is managing priorities and adjusting, adapting, and prioritizing and executing.
00:24:06.160
Also, if you're listening to this, if you're interested, I would definitely go check out the YouTube channel.
00:24:12.220
I think we're at about 350,000 subscribers over on YouTube.
00:24:18.020
I'm going to be a little bit more deliberate in the communication I have on YouTube,
00:24:21.640
although some of the comments on YouTube are pretty wild.
00:24:25.820
But we'll do what we can over there, and then hopefully we'll see you inside the Iron Council.
00:24:31.780
Also, on that note, just want to say Merry Christmas.
00:24:34.300
I know I'm a couple days late, but I hope you had a good Christmas,
00:24:37.100
and I hope you're enjoying time with friends and family this time of year.
00:24:40.920
We will be back next week for an interview with John Kim.
00:24:45.000
Until then, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.
00:24:48.620
Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:24:54.740
If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,
00:24:58.760
we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.