The 4 Ways a Man Provides for His People ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
179.17714
Summary
In this episode, I discuss the 4 ways a man provides for his family and the people that he is responsible for. I think any man worth his weight is going to be asking himself questions about what he needs to be doing to lead his people into abundance, wealth, prosperity, and fulfillment.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
I'm frustrated, quite frankly, that there's so many fathers out there who aren't teaching
00:00:05.600
their children that there is some sort of divinity within them, that there's some objective
00:00:14.400
Hopefully, I can give you guys some insights and ideas that will serve you in your life,
00:00:24.220
I think any man worth his weight is going to be asking himself questions about what
00:00:31.040
he needs to be doing to lead his people into abundance, wealth, prosperity, and fulfillment,
00:00:37.220
whether it's your wife or your children, your family, friends, colleagues, coworkers, neighbors,
00:00:42.160
community members, constituents, teammates, et cetera.
00:00:46.760
It's likely if you're listening to this podcast, you as a man are asking yourself, what in the
00:00:50.540
world am I supposed to be doing, and how am I supposed to be serving the people that
00:00:55.040
Today, I'm going to talk with you about four ways a man provides for his people.
00:01:00.620
Obviously, I hope it's obvious if you've been listening to the podcast for any amount of
00:01:04.380
time, you know the mantra, protect, provide, and preside.
00:01:09.060
Let's just talk about the provide component of that first.
00:01:13.200
Whenever I say provide, that it's a man's job to provide for his family, what most people
00:01:18.020
think of initially is financial provision, and although that is important, obviously
00:01:23.500
it's crucial, there are other things that we as men ought to be providing for the people
00:01:28.900
we love, the people we care about, and the people that we're serving.
00:01:33.080
So, what I'm going to share with you is four ways, again, that a man provides for the people
00:01:37.520
that he loves and has a responsibility for, and I'm going to draw a lot of correlation
00:01:47.200
A lot of you guys are familiar with that, what that table actually looks like, and we're
00:01:51.300
going to break that down a little bit, and we're going to frame it in the context of a
00:01:56.980
So, without further ado, let's just jump right into it.
00:01:59.140
At the base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs is the physiological needs, and this is the first
00:02:06.300
If there's one thing that's most important as the foundation for what a man provides, it's
00:02:11.580
his, it's the physical provision, it's the physiological needs, it's food, it's shelter,
00:02:18.720
it's provision, it's paying for the football camp, and the football program, and making
00:02:25.940
sure that you have enough financial resources to take a trip, and pay for the mortgage, and
00:02:32.780
pay the car payment, and make sure that there's no guesswork about where the next meal is going
00:02:39.260
to come from, no guesswork about is there going to be a shelter over our head, and there are
00:02:44.540
things that are just as important as the financial and the physical provision, but guys, if you
00:02:49.400
can't get this right, then you're not creating an environment or fostering an environment where
00:02:54.360
your people can thrive, and they can be safe to move on to more deeper, more meaningful needs
00:03:01.680
that they have, so your job as a man is to provide physically for your family and your
00:03:09.020
loved ones, and if you're not making ends meet, you're living paycheck to paycheck, you're up
00:03:14.920
to your debt, and you're up to your eyeballs, excuse me, in debt, creditors are banging down
00:03:19.320
your door, they're making calls, you're worried about how you're going to make the next payment
00:03:24.960
I have to tell you that you are not fully being the man that you're capable of becoming,
00:03:30.800
and you're not being fully the man that your people need you to be, so develop skills, learn
00:03:37.220
how to play the game, get promotions, work hard, bust your ass to ensure that you can pay
00:03:43.280
the mortgage, you can put food on the table, you can put clothes on their back, and you can
00:03:47.780
pay for the extracurricular activities that your family members have, your kids and sports
00:03:53.080
and camps and everything else, because that is a requirement, it really is, and there's
00:03:59.720
all sorts of things that you can do, get credentials, get degrees, get education, learn how to play
00:04:05.640
the office politic game, ask for a promotion, secure new skills that are going to make you
00:04:11.720
more marketable, learn how to network, so you're never at a loss for job and income that comes
00:04:16.040
with it, also learn how to budget, don't overspend, live within your means, save money, learn
00:04:21.080
how to invest, guys, you have to get this stuff right, and I know we're talking about
00:04:25.720
it at a 30,000 foot view today, and that's what I'm going to do, but if you want to dive
00:04:30.280
deeper into each one of these subjects, if you're not already, make sure you subscribe
00:04:34.080
to the Order of Man podcast, because we talk about how to build wealth, we talk about how
00:04:39.480
to build prosperity, we talk about how to start a business, we talk about how to budget,
00:04:44.280
these are all things that we've talked about, so you can go in, do a search on our website,
00:04:48.060
orderofman.com, or you can do a search, Order of Man, and keyword wherever you listen to
00:04:53.380
podcasts, and you'll find deeper resources on each one of these, so it's 30,000 foot
00:04:59.380
view, I know, but the first thing a man needs to do is provide physically for his wife, his
00:05:04.060
kids, his loved ones, etc., all right, number two, on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, if you
00:05:10.000
actually were to dig into that chart, and I've got it pulled up right here, so it goes like
00:05:15.240
this, at the base of the pyramid is physiological needs, that's what I just talked about, the
00:05:19.200
physical needs, next, safety, above that love and belonging, above that esteem, and then
00:05:24.320
above that self-actualization, I'm going to break this down into different frameworks so
00:05:27.880
you understand, but the next thing a man needs to do to provide for his loved ones is the mental
00:05:33.980
provision, the mental provision is the safety needs, that's personal security, that's, and
00:05:39.800
here it says employment, resources, health, property, etc., as a man who's raising children,
00:05:46.980
you're not necessarily going to give them employment, but personal security, your people
00:05:51.620
need to know that they're safe, they need to know that they're protected, they need access
00:05:56.460
to the resources that are available, they need to ensure that you are doing what you are supposed
00:06:03.460
to be doing, they need to be looking up to you as a man who's going to provide the mental
00:06:09.500
provision, and in addition to that, you're going to help them get the training they need
00:06:13.580
so that at some point, whether it's your son or daughter, can go out and do the same thing
00:06:17.980
for their family and their people. One of the things that I constantly remember is I'm not
00:06:22.980
raising children, I'm raising future adults, and if I think I'm just raising children, then
00:06:28.500
I'm scratching the surface on what can be done, I just need to not have them throw a temper
00:06:32.980
tantrum. No, that's not what I'm doing, what I'm actually doing is teaching them to go out
00:06:37.440
on their own, and the mental provision is the hardships of life, the skill sets that they
00:06:43.280
need. Do they know how to cook? Do they know how to do laundry? Do they know how to have
00:06:47.360
conversations? Do they know basic stuff like shaking a person's hand, looking them in the
00:06:52.240
eye, and introducing themselves? Do they know how to network? Do they know how to communicate
00:06:57.540
effectively with other people? Do they know how to use their words? Do they know
00:07:02.200
how to do things? I'm constantly blown away when I see other children, and it's
00:07:07.900
usually a mix. Sometimes I see kids who are so proficient, so mature, so developed
00:07:13.960
for their age that I'm just blown away and inspired by whatever in the world their
00:07:17.920
parents are doing to help them be that. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, I see
00:07:22.820
so many kids who are just useless. They don't communicate. They can't even look you
00:07:29.720
in the eye. They're wearing some of the weirdest things you'd ever see. They're not
00:07:33.980
respectable. They don't have any skills. They're not learning things. They're not
00:07:38.680
educated. They're not trained. They don't know how to take care of things around the
00:07:42.560
house. They don't know how to drive. That's a weird thing to me. We've got 16-year-olds
00:07:46.820
who are not even getting their licenses anymore. Even at 16, I think 16-year-olds,
00:07:53.180
they probably, if it were up to me, should have been driving for the last two or three
00:07:56.420
years with their parents. You know, maybe on back roads and farm and property and in
00:08:01.780
the mountains. And that's not going to be as easy for everybody as it might be for me
00:08:06.260
being in a small town in southern Utah. But are you training your kids? That's the
00:08:12.800
mental provision. Are you training them? Or are you just doing everything and hoping
00:08:18.080
that, I don't know, they're picking up through osmosis what they might need to know? When
00:08:22.500
you go out and you change your tire on your truck, are the kids coming with you to learn
00:08:25.640
it? Or if you're changing the oil, do they know how to do it? Or if you have to replace
00:08:29.540
the handle on the toilet, are they helping you? Are they replacing the light bulbs? Are
00:08:33.380
they cleaning the house? Are they doing the yard work? Are they starting the lawnmower?
00:08:37.060
They need to be doing those things. And if they're not, again, it's age appropriate. But
00:08:43.180
if they're not, then you're not giving them the mental provision that they're going to
00:08:47.720
need when they become older and when they become adults. And not to mention, it's a big
00:08:52.900
help to be able to divide and divvy up some of the chores around the house. But they're
00:08:56.840
also learning while they're doing that. Are they coming to you on things that they can
00:09:01.280
come with you on? Whether it's a hunt and learn how to secure food, or maybe it's to
00:09:07.580
come to work and see you present to the board, if appropriate. Or maybe do a presentation.
00:09:12.960
I try to bring my kids everywhere I go because I want them to see me working. I talk with them
00:09:20.080
about finances. I talk with them about budgeting. I've created opportunities for them to make
00:09:25.300
money. My youngest son and I did 10 or 15 orders this morning. He made $15 because I give
00:09:30.720
them a dollar per order they fulfill. He's learning things. Those are the mental provisions
00:09:36.120
he needs and my daughter, she needs to thrive as they get older. All right. Number three
00:09:41.460
is the emotional provision. So if we go back over to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we have
00:09:47.880
the physiological needs at the base. We have the safety needs, personal security, employment,
00:09:51.880
resources, health, prosperity, et cetera. Next, we start moving into love and belonging and
00:09:57.660
esteem. So those are two categories that I'm going to lump into one. But guys, this is the
00:10:02.620
emotional provision. So we have physiological or physical provision. We have mental provision.
00:10:08.020
Now we have emotional provision. And if we look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, when it
00:10:12.380
comes to love and belonging, they need friendships, intimacy, which by the way, doesn't always need
00:10:18.120
to be romantic. I hope you know that. Family, a sense of connection. And then if we move
00:10:22.820
up the tier, we move into esteem, respect, self-esteem, status, recognition, strength,
00:10:31.600
freedom. These are the things that come with giving your children emotional provision. And
00:10:37.560
the most important thing I think that we can do in this ring, in this arena of emotional
00:10:42.880
provision is to help our children regulate their emotions. They're going to be angry. They're
00:10:50.020
going to be sad. They're going to be happy. They're going to be joyful. They're going to
00:10:53.300
have guilt and shame and remorse and sorrow and fear and doubt. But they're also going to
00:10:58.760
have love and enthusiasm and joy and hope and optimism. Our job is to help those young little
00:11:07.220
children turn those emotions into productive avenues. So if your child is afraid of the monster
00:11:19.560
under the bed, it's your job to help them work through that in a constructive way so they're
00:11:25.000
not afraid of things that don't actually exist. So if you just get frustrated and you just tell
00:11:32.240
them to shut up and go to bed, that's not regulating their fear. But if you say, all right, you're
00:11:36.840
afraid of the monster under the bed? Let's flip the lights on. Let's look under the bed. Do
00:11:40.800
you see anything under there? Nope? Great. You're good. Maybe you can check the bed every night
00:11:46.040
before you get into bed to see if there's anything in there. These are, I know it sounds silly, but
00:11:50.860
these are little things that you can do. When one of your children comes home from school
00:11:56.960
and they're getting bullied at school by some punk and they don't know how to address it and
00:12:04.860
they're afraid and they don't want to go to school. Why would they if they're getting bullied and picked
00:12:10.160
on at school? It's not just your job to call the principal and say, this shouldn't happen anymore.
00:12:16.600
Although maybe you need to make those decisions. But the other thing that you ought to be doing
00:12:21.980
is making sure that your child knows how to address their fear and their uncertainty and what they can do
00:12:29.760
to avoid this potential bully. And if the situation calls for it, confront the bully, stand up for
00:12:36.680
themselves and pop that little punk in the face if called for. You need to help your children
00:12:44.860
understand that the emotions they're experiencing are not negative. Even the so-called quote-unquote
00:12:50.840
negative emotions. Our emotions are designed either divinely or evolved over time, and I think it's
00:12:59.980
probably a combination of both, to be the little warning sign. The alarm that tells us either
00:13:06.360
something is working or something is not. And emotional regulation, the way that I look at that,
00:13:13.300
is not allowing your emotions to get the better of you, but to use your emotions wisely for productive
00:13:21.060
outcomes. So, do your kids feel loved? Do they feel like they're important? Do they feel like they're
00:13:29.440
contributing? Do they feel seen and heard and loved and supported and acknowledged? Do they have a sense of
00:13:36.640
belonging into the family? One thing I often say, and my kids roll their eyes every time I say it, is
00:13:41.800
Micklers do hard things. Or Micklers do blank. Because I want them to know there's an identity that we have
00:13:49.020
as Micklers that we ought to wrap ourselves up in. That we're strong. That we're bold. That we're courageous.
00:13:55.840
That we confront hardship. That we can regulate our emotions. That we can lead and serve other people.
00:14:02.560
And that creates a sense of belonging and a sense of pride in not only who they are, but in the name
00:14:07.060
that we have. And the respect that we owe the name that we carry. These are all things you can do to
00:14:12.900
build up their emotional resilience and provide for them emotionally. All right, the last tier that I want
00:14:19.960
to talk with you about today is spiritual provision. If we go back over to Maslow's hierarchy of needs
00:14:25.460
on the top of that tip of the pyramid, it says self-actualization and more specifically, the desire
00:14:31.540
to become the most that one can be. Now I'm looking at this through a divine perspective. We have
00:14:38.300
unlimited potential as divine sons and daughters of God. And it's my job to help my children understand
00:14:47.120
that there is something so much bigger and greater beyond ourselves. There's something so much more
00:14:53.680
important than the details and the minutiae and the monotony of life that we often get caught up in
00:14:59.840
and maybe even the distractions of life that we succumb to. There is more to this game. There is an
00:15:05.480
eternal perspective. There is a absolute truth with a capital T and moral relativism does not exist.
00:15:14.120
Morality is not relative. It is absolute. And it's my job to teach my children that there is
00:15:22.880
something greater than themselves, that we have the ability and power to tap into it, and that we have
00:15:29.260
potential, God-given potential that we are supposed to fulfill, we are supposed to step into, and we are
00:15:36.040
supposed to act in accordance with. I'm frustrated, quite frankly, that there's so many fathers out
00:15:45.520
there who aren't teaching their children that there is some sort of divinity within them, that there's
00:15:51.420
some objective standard that we are to live to. And we don't need to all believe the exact same thing.
00:15:57.720
I'm a Christian. Many of you who are listening are Christians. I believe that is the path back to God
00:16:03.860
through Jesus Christ. But I also acknowledge that there's people who don't believe that. And if you
00:16:09.560
don't believe that, you better find something to believe in. Because who else are you going to
00:16:14.280
believe in? Me? I'm flawed. I mess up all the time. I fall short. I make mistakes. I don't always have
00:16:25.640
the answer, even though in my mind I feel like I do. Don't follow me. Now, hopefully, I can give you guys
00:16:33.820
some insights and ideas that will serve you in your life, but it's up to you to discern whether or not they're
00:16:38.660
going to work for you and your family and your loved ones. Don't follow me. Follow the objective truth.
00:16:46.520
Follow the light. Have some purpose bigger than yourself. And I even believe an atheist can have this,
00:16:52.740
that they're adhering to some objective standard of morality, and that's how they base their decisions.
00:16:59.480
It would be confusing not to know what that is. It would be confusing to not really understand how
00:17:06.680
you ought to show up. I believe we all have the light of Christ and God in ourselves and within us.
00:17:12.960
And I believe we have these things that are called our conscience, which allows us to make good
00:17:18.640
decisions. Some of you might say it's the Holy Spirit. I don't really care what you call
00:17:22.740
it. I know what I call it. I don't care what you call it, as long as you're adhering to it.
00:17:27.700
Because it's easy to waffle. It's easy to falter. It's easy to drift to the doctrine of popular
00:17:33.080
culture, which today would say one thing and tomorrow would say something completely different.
00:17:37.780
Or are you living towards objective truth? Have you identified what it is? And are you teaching it to
00:17:43.420
your people so that they can make decisions in light of you not always being around?
00:17:47.360
Right? Your kids are going to grow up. They're going to move to college. They're going to start
00:17:52.000
building their own families. You're going to die at some point. Do your kids have something bigger
00:17:56.960
than you that will continue in your absence, that they can continue to measure their performance by?
00:18:02.700
And I promise you, if they do, they will be more fulfilled. They will be more mentally and emotionally
00:18:10.340
and physically secure in themselves because now they have an eternal perspective, not just a temporal
00:18:17.720
and temporary perspective. Guys, in the protect, provide, preside motto, the provide element is so
00:18:27.740
much deeper than bringing home the bacon. That's the bare minimum. I already told you, that's where I
00:18:33.860
started today because that's the bare minimum. If you're not bringing home the bacon, you're not even
00:18:39.700
doing the bare minimum. And look, I get it. Maybe you're just getting done with college. Maybe you're
00:18:43.720
just securing a job. Maybe you and your wife, maybe you, maybe you got your, your, your wife pregnant
00:18:48.600
in high school. And so you're trying, you're playing catch up now. I get it. I understand.
00:18:53.320
There's situations that come up in life that you may not be fully there, but if you're not moving
00:18:57.300
towards that, then you're doing your people a disservice and you're not stepping into fully the role
00:19:02.320
that you have as a man, protect, provide, preside. And to break down that protect, or excuse me,
00:19:07.500
that provide component even more. Again, it's four tiers to this. It's the physical provision.
00:19:16.300
Maslow would say that's the physiological needs. It's the mental provision. Maslow would say that's
00:19:20.780
the safety needs. It's the emotional provision. Maslow would say that's love and belonging and
00:19:25.640
the esteem needs. And then there's spiritual provision, which Maslow would say is self
00:19:30.360
actualization. Sorry, my phone's ringing at me. I thought I turned that off. Guys, I hope that gives
00:19:36.000
you a framework. I love frameworks. When I have a framework for the way I'm supposed to show up,
00:19:41.240
it's easier for me to see how I'm supposed to be doing things. And sometimes I hear from people that
00:19:46.900
we're just putting people in categories or boxes. Yes, in a way that's what we're doing because the
00:19:52.940
categories and boxes and the systems, they work. And if you find a system or a strategy that works
00:19:59.520
or a framework for living your best life, then I say, put yourself in that category and succeed and
00:20:05.840
thrive and help your people do the same. If you want more information on this, guys, and you want to
00:20:10.400
be the best man that you can be in each of these realms, not only the provide component of our three
00:20:15.840
tier motto, but be a better protector, be a better provider, and be a better presider, which is synonymous
00:20:22.220
leadership, then head to order of man.com slash battle ready. I've got a 30 day free course that's
00:20:29.420
going to walk you through our battle plan. I'm holding this up here in a second. For those of you
00:20:35.920
who are watching this on YouTube battle plan, that's going to walk you through a series of 17 emails over
00:20:43.480
30 days with very actionable advice and ideas that you can implement to become the best version of
00:20:52.020
yourself and lead your people the most effectively. Again, go to order of man.com slash battle ready.
00:20:59.360
All right, guys, we'll be back next week. Until then, go out there, take action, provide for your
00:21:04.420
people and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:21:14.580
You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:21:18.360
We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.