Order of Man - The Carrot or the Stick, Being Intentional in Your Rhetoric, and Delayed Gratification ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.060 Kip, what's up, brother? Glad to be back on another Ask Me Anything.

00:00:28.440 It's a good morning. It's a good morning. I'm excited to go over some of these questions.

00:00:32.520 It seems like we've been having increasingly good questions.

00:00:35.300 I don't know if it's because the quality of our guys are increasing or everybody just knows what we're doing

00:00:39.500 or wants to hear these, I guess, ask better questions so they get better answers.

00:00:44.100 I heard a quote one time. It says,

00:00:45.880 The quality of your life will be determined by the quality of the questions you ask.

00:00:50.020 So if that's true, then these guys' quality of life is going up because they're asking better questions.

00:00:55.340 Yeah, totally. I mean, that's actually a really great, insightful quote because if you think about it,

00:01:01.780 it's really a summary of what are you pondering about, right?

00:01:05.440 What is on your mind? What are you focused on? Where is your attention being directed?

00:01:10.420 And to your point, based upon these questions, their thought process and mindset is in great areas.

00:01:17.300 And also, are you humble enough to ask the questions? I know in the past I haven't been.

00:01:23.260 And I've realized that it's not hard to ask questions, but sometimes it's uncomfortable 0.99

00:01:28.700 because you might feel like, well, this guy's going to perceive me as being an idiot or a moron 0.99

00:01:33.080 or I'm asking questions about things I should know. But it is hard to overcome. 1.00

00:01:38.220 But the more, again, the more you ask, the better off you're going to be

00:01:41.080 if you can overcome that little hurdle of, well, it's ego. It's pride. That's all it is.

00:01:45.400 Yeah, totally. Yeah, I love that. I love that.

00:01:50.620 So we do have a couple of questions from the Iron Council and then we can jump right into the Facebook.

00:01:56.080 Yeah, I mean, let's let these guys know what we're all about just in case they're joining us for the first time.

00:02:00.000 This is, we do three shows a week. So this is our second show, which isn't asking me anything.

00:02:04.840 We're fielding questions from our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council, 0.62

00:02:08.040 and also from our Facebook group, which is knocking on 60,000 members now, which is unreal.

00:02:13.960 What else? What else? What else? Oh, then we have our Tuesday show, which is our interview show.

00:02:18.840 I just did a great podcast yesterday with Nick Santanastasso. Do you know who that is? Are you

00:02:24.900 familiar with him? I am not familiar with him, but I have got, I got messages this morning from people

00:02:30.920 saying, dude, that episode this morning or today was so awesome, you know, and they're asking some

00:02:35.560 additional questions. So right on. Yeah, it's really, really powerful. He was born with a condition

00:02:40.140 called Hanhart, uh, syndrome, I believe is what it's called. And only 12 people have been born with

00:02:46.920 this, this medical condition, eight of them died. So he's one of four that's living. Uh, and

00:02:54.580 depending on the circumstances, either your internal organs or your limbs that don't fully

00:03:00.300 develop. So he was born without legs and without one arm and to see what he's gone on to do with

00:03:07.020 his life is absolutely incredible. And the reason this was so powerful is because a lot of the times

00:03:11.100 I get questions from guys about feeling like a man, if they're hung up or they're disabled or

00:03:16.720 they're injured. And I'll tell you what, if you're feeling like that, go listen to that podcast,

00:03:21.320 because here's a man who has no legs missing one arm and has not chosen the victimhood route.

00:03:27.760 In fact, if anything, I think it's propelled him forward. So it's very, very powerful.

00:03:31.940 That's awesome. And then we have our Friday show, which is the Friday field notes,

00:03:34.880 my thoughts and ideas from throughout the week. So make sure you subscribe. If you're not subscribed,

00:03:38.680 this is a mission to reclaim and restore masculinity in a, in a softening society.

00:03:44.220 So I feel like we're starting to make a dent and it'll only get better.

00:03:49.260 Hell yeah. All right. Should we get into the questions? Yeah. Yeah. I know you're trying to

00:03:53.900 work on your, your, your potty mouth a little bit. I have been too. So I have to admit I'm a little,

00:03:59.500 I'm a little nervous. So I visited my parents. I try to, uh, they live a little ways away. I try to

00:04:04.400 go down there, uh, back to South severe, uh, severe County once a month and kind of

00:04:10.700 help them on the farm and, and just visit with them and whatnot. And, um, this last time down my

00:04:16.340 mom's, Hey, uh, how do I, how do I listen to that podcast? Don't listen to it, mom. Yeah.

00:04:23.800 It's, you don't want, you know, it's, it's worthless, mom. It's no good.

00:04:27.200 That's funny. Yeah. Yeah.

00:04:29.240 Yeah. No, it's good. I, a lot of guys ask questions about language and I never get really

00:04:34.220 upset by somebody using, using heart. We'll call it harsh language. I do too at times. Um, I slip

00:04:39.980 into it at times. Uh, but I think there's just a better way to approach it. So I try not to use

00:04:44.600 that language. Although it doesn't hurt my ears or anything when I do. So, yeah. I'm the same way.

00:04:49.480 Like I, I try not to, but every so often it kind of comes through. I, I blame it on the, or the iron

00:04:55.360 counsel. Those guys have bad, they're saying it. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's exactly where it lies. It

00:04:59.500 always lies on somebody else's shoulders. Exactly. And that's what we're about here is

00:05:03.560 not taking responsibility for your life and figuring out how it's everyone else's fault.

00:05:07.400 Right. Welcome to the order man podcast. You know, what's sad about that is some people

00:05:11.880 would probably take that serious. I'll probably get a message saying, what are you doing? Yeah.

00:05:15.500 Yeah. You're like, I love the new format. That's what that's true. It's funny because I think,

00:05:20.440 and I don't know if this is a social media thing. I can't help but think it is that we have lost

00:05:24.480 the ability to think critically and discern when somebody's telling a joke or look at and utilize

00:05:31.300 context for discussions. It's really, really interesting. So every, everybody takes things

00:05:36.300 so literal, like so literally that they can't even understand the context and the concepts that's

00:05:43.560 being shared. It's very, very interesting. It's lazy in fact. Yeah. That's what it is. It is.

00:05:49.260 They're not burning any brain calories, right? They're just jumped to a conclusion. They're moving on.

00:05:54.480 It's funny. I mean, just to use an example, like one, one, one message might say, I may say something

00:05:59.980 like this on Facebook, like every man needs to be physically strong. And then, and then somebody

00:06:05.100 else will come back and say, well, what about somebody who has Parkinson's disease? And I'm like,

00:06:11.720 look, there's going to be exceptions where there there's, there's going to be things that,

00:06:16.680 that aren't always going to work out the way that you want them to. And they, they always come back

00:06:20.060 with, well, you said everybody. I'm like, give me a break. Like think critically about this. Try

00:06:28.540 to understand what people are saying. Don't try. I think people like the sound of their voice. I

00:06:33.740 certainly do. I understand that. And I think they just want to be right. And they want to prove how

00:06:38.920 smart they are. And that's one thing that's always fascinating on social media as well as people use

00:06:43.020 these really, really big words. And it's like, I have no idea what you're trying to ask me or tell me

00:06:47.880 right now because you're using all those words that I'm not even sure you know what they mean.

00:06:52.000 It's, it's interesting. Yeah. Anyways. All right. Let's get into the questions. We got to be quick

00:06:57.960 on these questions because I'm limited on time today. Yeah. But don't be concerned. You're still

00:07:03.440 going to get quality answers. They're just going to be efficient. Well, you're probably going to get

00:07:07.040 higher quality answers. If I have to continue to drone on and on and on about it, do I really know

00:07:11.340 the answer all that well? Yeah, that's true. But you, but you do get to hear yourself talk at least.

00:07:16.120 No, I do like that. We'll have to do a part two later in the week. All right. Jordan Stanley. So

00:07:22.760 we only have two questions left from, from the iron council to learn more about the iron council,

00:07:27.040 go to order of man.com slash iron council. Uh, Jordan Stanley and Diane Bryant. Those are two

00:07:33.560 remaining members that had some questions, uh, from last week. So I'm wondering as a man of faith,

00:07:38.840 how do you decide when a, when a practice or ritual is to infringe or maybe borderline cultic

00:07:45.840 in origin or just outside of biblical teachings? I don't really know what he's asking.

00:07:53.360 I, well, I think he's saying that like, there's certain practices, like, well, I'll give you a

00:07:57.160 hair. Actually, here's the perfect example. When I first joined the iron council, um, or actually

00:08:01.700 when I first started running battle team echo, uh, we, one of our monthly subjects was around,

00:08:07.380 I can't remember what it was around the quadrant of calibration. And we were on the subject of

00:08:13.180 meditation. And one of my team members reached out to me and says, Kip, I know you're a Christian.

00:08:18.980 Um, how do you meditate and not feel that that's in conflict with your religion? So I think there's

00:08:25.540 certain things where guys look at yoga. I, and I'm not joking. Guys look at yoga, uh, meditation and

00:08:32.960 other things as possibly infringing or borderline like in conflict with their biblical, um, how the

00:08:41.120 upbringing, right. In regards to what's acceptable, it's not, I can't even answer this question. Like

00:08:46.280 it's so full, it's such a foreign thought to me. Like just because you're a Christian doesn't mean

00:08:50.360 that you can't hold other ideals and other thoughts. And, and how is meditation now, if you're

00:08:55.740 worshiping Satan, I would say, uh, yeah, that's probably at odds. But if you're thinking about your

00:09:01.420 life and how you want to progress and how you want to excel, like, I don't know. What's the problem?

00:09:06.200 Yeah. I, I, I'm really, I'm not trying to play stupid here. I just, I don't understand. People 0.87

00:09:12.120 ask me this quite often. I just don't understand where people are getting hung up. But one thing

00:09:18.300 they asked me about is, is sovereignty. Cause I wrote the book about individual sovereignty and

00:09:22.580 they ask all the time, how can you be individually, individually sovereign and be a religious individual?

00:09:27.600 I'm like, they're not at odds with each other. It's, it's, it's a complimenting concept to take

00:09:34.520 control of your life, make good decisions. Don't be beholden to anybody. That's, that's not at odds

00:09:41.580 with Christianity. So I don't understand why people get so hung up on this. Are they looking 0.82

00:09:46.580 for excuses? Are they like, is it a legitimate thing? I, I, it's just hard for me to understand

00:09:51.740 what the problem is here. Yeah. I, I love, I love to make this distinction. And I used to do this with

00:09:58.380 the young men and women that, that I, at one point in time, um, that I used to teach at church.

00:10:05.440 And I would make this distinction that there is a major difference between social culture norms,

00:10:12.240 the gospel and church culture. And sometimes they're in conflict. And I, and I use this perfect

00:10:18.340 example. I asked the boys, I said, Hey boys, would it be acceptable for you to come to church with a

00:10:24.040 skirt on? And they would all go, Oh no, that's totally inappropriate. I'm like, okay, show me

00:10:30.020 where in the Bible where you shouldn't wear a skirt. That's not gospel. And then I'm like,

00:10:37.020 and then by the way, if you go to Tonga or Samoa and parts of Hawaii, guess what? Boys are wearing

00:10:42.760 a church. Yeah. Good point. Skirts, culture versus gospel versus church culture. Sometimes we,

00:10:50.300 I think we have a tendency to look at gospel or culture or our culture within your church,

00:10:56.000 whether you're a Baptist or a Catholic or LDS or whatever. And we think that is the gospel

00:11:02.160 for us. And sometimes it's not, it's just a social condition that we have mistaken into,

00:11:08.600 you know, a norm. And so sometimes you hear meditation is actually really interesting is

00:11:13.560 meditation is super, super powerful. A lot of cultures within churches don't talk about meditation as

00:11:19.960 much. Like it's a very personal thing. And so because it's not in the church's culture,

00:11:24.540 they have a tendency to go, well, Oh wait, I don't think we're supposed to do that.

00:11:28.060 But you jump into the Bible. How often can you translate men meditating, right? And doing deep

00:11:36.080 meditation in regards to, you know, their understanding of gospel principles. It's all

00:11:40.180 over the place, but, but it's not part of our norm, right? Our social condition within,

00:11:44.440 you know, some of our churches. So I just think it's, it's that distinction of gospel versus

00:11:50.260 church, social norms and society's norms and, and, and trying to find that balance.

00:11:56.840 Yeah. I don't, I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. It's just, it's just a hard question. I,

00:12:01.680 for me anyways, it's like, yeah, I don't know if it is in line with what you feel is right,

00:12:05.940 then go for it. If not, don't do it. I don't, it doesn't matter.

00:12:09.240 Yeah. I hear you. I hear you just don't. I'm not trying to be dismissive of the question. I just

00:12:14.680 don't understand how it's a question. Yeah. Yeah. You just can't relate to that.

00:12:19.580 No, because if there's nothing wrong with, there's nothing that I participate in on a daily basis

00:12:25.260 that wouldn't be in line with the, the, my religious perspective, my spiritual perspective.

00:12:33.160 Yeah. And if it is, you're going to adjust and go, Oh wait, you know what? That's not,

00:12:36.780 I shouldn't do that. I'm going to adjust that. Yeah.

00:12:38.960 And I'm going to, I'm going to pray about that or some might say meditation or whatever and

00:12:43.420 correct the behavior. But yeah, it's just weird because I think like money is a big issue for a

00:12:50.560 lot of people. People have a big issue with money and then reconciling that with spirituality or

00:12:54.280 religion. Well, God wants you to make money because it's an exchange of value. So that means he wants

00:13:00.180 you to be valuable to other people. Period. Not at odds with each other. Now, if you're stealing,

00:13:04.380 you're not being valuable to other people, you're, you're manipulating or coercing or stealing or

00:13:09.920 doing wrong to people. That's, that's a problem. But if you're making it, you're making it honestly

00:13:14.220 and morally, then that's, that's an exchange of value. He wants you to be valuable. It's these

00:13:20.940 things are not odds with each other. They really are. Yeah. Contributing to society and making money

00:13:25.380 is often tied to each other. Yeah. 99% of the time, unless somebody is a criminal. Yeah. All right.

00:13:32.740 Copy. All right. There you go, Jordan. All right. Dan Bryant, what word have you tried? Uh, have you

00:13:39.380 trained yourself to remove from your vocabulary to further develop personally and professionally? For

00:13:44.500 example, I have removed, not a problem when replying to someone's thank you. I asked myself,

00:13:50.360 was it ever a problem? I'm currently working on removing the word, but, but when engaging with

00:13:55.220 my staff and talking with my wife and kids, I feel that the butt dismisses an idea or a concern

00:14:00.440 brought up and discourages others and diminishes the leadership in the workplace at home. And as a

00:14:05.560 man, the two that come off, off the top of my mind right away is I'll try. No, I'm not going to try

00:14:12.640 like, I'm either going to do it or I'm not going to do it. Uh, the other one is maybe if somebody

00:14:17.740 invites me somewhere or asked me to do something, Oh, maybe I'll do that. No, I either will do it or I

00:14:21.860 won't do it. Like there's, there's no, maybe I'll do it. Now, if, if I need to check, that's

00:14:26.400 different, right? If somebody says, Hey, do you want to come over for a barbecue this weekend?

00:14:29.780 Hey, let me check, make sure I have my schedule lined up. And then I will let you know by this

00:14:34.760 evening. And then I'll give that individual a yes or a no, there's no maybe here. So I try to avoid.

00:14:41.020 So those are two very specific examples, but I try to avoid generally wishy-washy words.

00:14:46.680 And one other thing I have tried to eliminate is I think, because I used to do that in the

00:14:52.580 podcast. And when I would share my thoughts, I think dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I don't need

00:14:57.560 to say that it is obviously my thoughts. So I don't need to say I'll think I think, because

00:15:03.200 what that does is that says, but somebody else may consider it differently. And I realized that's

00:15:07.460 true, but I'm not going to mince my words. So I don't think two plus two is four. I know

00:15:13.420 that two plus two is four, right? Or based on the previous question, I don't think it's

00:15:20.300 hard for me to answer. It is hard for me to answer. So I try to avoid wishy-washy words

00:15:25.920 and the softening of my rhetoric. I want my language to be bold and assertive and clear

00:15:31.820 and articulate. And that means I get rid of the maybes and the tries and the ums and the

00:15:36.640 ahs and the, I don't knows and the kind of sorta. And I thinks I don't, I try not to use

00:15:42.380 though. So I just used it. It's hard. It's hard. But those are words that I am actively

00:15:49.500 working on eliminating from my vocabulary. I like that. Although I have no idea how I

00:15:54.560 would reply to all my requests from my kids. So like, Hey, can I go out? Cause usually it's

00:15:59.820 usually it's maybe. And then all my kids go like the little ones go, I know what maybe

00:16:04.140 means. I'm like, Oh yeah. What does maybe mean? It means no. Right. So just say no.

00:16:07.780 I know. It's super funny. I mean, it is because kids look at that and they, they can, they,

00:16:13.940 they know what you're saying. Yeah. So don't say it. Just be truthfully and clearly with everyone.

00:16:21.180 I like that. You know, two things that came to mind on this question was, and it's not a specific

00:16:26.660 word, but, um, it's acknowledging compliments. People struggle with that. Right. So if, if someone

00:16:35.320 gives me a compliment, my natural tendency is like to downplay it, you know, Oh, well, you know,

00:16:41.840 I try or, you know, I got, I got a lot of growth to do still, or, you know, and it takes away from

00:16:49.100 them going out of their way to provide a compliment. And so one thing over the last few years, actually

00:16:54.520 over probably it's been years now that I've recognized this, that, that, that when someone

00:16:58.840 gives me a compliment, I actually like fully accept it and then reply like, Hey, you know,

00:17:05.320 I really appreciate that. Like that means a lot. Right. And versus just downplaying it because

00:17:11.140 they went out of the way. You don't, I mean to even give that compliment. And so it diminishes what

00:17:16.100 they're trying to communicate to you when we blow it off. And the only other thing that crossed my mind

00:17:21.280 too, about removing words, and this is super hard for me. Maybe you have some tips for me, Ryan is

00:17:26.440 I can't, or I shouldn't like my default. Like when someone says, Hey, Kip, uh, whether it's

00:17:33.560 something social work, Hey, can you make this meeting or can you, can you do this tomorrow?

00:17:39.100 My initial tendency is to me like, I can't like it's outside of my control. Oh, I can't do that.

00:17:46.280 Cause I got the, the, the, and that, that diminishes my ownership of the, of the situation. And so

00:17:53.020 I've been really trying to use a different way of communicating. I can't and using,

00:17:59.000 you know, my apologies. I have this other opportunity that, that I would like to do

00:18:04.040 instead. And, and what's crazy is that I can't, I shouldn't, I, I use those because I don't want to

00:18:11.360 offend the person. Right. And I think if, if it's outside of my control, they won't be offended if I

00:18:16.660 don't accept that opportunity or accept that request, but it disempowers me and puts me in a

00:18:21.980 position of like, Oh, well I, it's outside of my control. Well, it is in my control.

00:18:26.980 Yeah. You've just made a choice. I shouldn't do it that way. Yeah. But it's tough because

00:18:30.820 then now it makes me nervous. You know what I mean? About offending people. Right. So

00:18:35.020 yeah, but that's, we can't get wrapped up in that because then that, that causes us to change

00:18:39.260 in not a positive way. One thing I would just say is no, I won't be able to do that.

00:18:44.400 Yeah. And not, not come up with the excuse or the reason behind it. Yeah. Yeah. I should say

00:18:49.180 it's a very simple thing to do. It's harder in practice, but to say, no, I won't be able to do

00:18:54.540 that as a very intentional thought and in a very intentional way of delivering a message that that's

00:19:00.820 it. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. And one thing you said is you said, you said, Oh, I'm sorry. I won't be

00:19:06.100 able to make it. Why are you sorry? You made a choice. If you're sorry, you would make a different

00:19:10.020 choice. So don't even say I'm sorry. Yeah. Cause I'm even saying that I don't like the choice I'm

00:19:14.560 making. Right. Yeah. What are you sorry about? Are you really sorry? No, then don't say it.

00:19:18.100 One thing I used to get in the habit of doing and specifically with regards to this context

00:19:23.460 is if somebody asked me if I could do something, I would say, unfortunately, I can't make it for

00:19:28.800 blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So why am I saying unfortunately I made the choice to go do this

00:19:33.840 other thing and it's not unfortunate. Oh, for example, uh, I was gone last weekend and I couldn't

00:19:39.500 make our iron council calls because I was, I was doing something else. And as I was typing out in

00:19:44.600 the iron council that I wouldn't be there, I almost put unfortunately. And I thought to myself,

00:19:48.600 it's not unfortunate. I'm going to do something I really want to do. And I'm excited about going.

00:19:52.680 It's not unfortunate that I can't make the meeting. So I'm not going to say unfortunate.

00:19:55.940 Yeah. You're like, I have this awesome opportunity. So I'm going to, yeah, I'm doing it.

00:19:59.880 Right. So that's it. Period. And then on the other thing that you said about, uh, accepting compliments,

00:20:05.680 just say, thank you. That's it. Just say, thank you. I, people get really hung up on this one.

00:20:11.820 Uh, and basically what you're doing is if you say, Oh, I've got room to go or, Oh, yeah. I don't

00:20:16.880 know if that's really me. You might as well, instead of that, be saying, I don't accept your

00:20:21.380 compliment. It's not good enough for me. Yeah. You're not, you're not legit. Yeah. Yeah. It's

00:20:25.860 not a good compliment. So just say, thank you. That says nothing about you or humility. Just say,

00:20:30.380 thank you. I accept your gift. And you can think in your head that they're wrong. If you want,

00:20:35.500 just, you wouldn't say, let's say I gave you a gift Kip. It's your, it's your wedding anniversary.

00:20:40.040 And I gave you guys a gift and it was this really ugly sweater. You would say, thank you. And in your

00:20:46.780 head, you'd say, this is really ugly. I'm never going to wear this, but thank you. Like you would

00:20:50.320 never say to me, like, this is ugly. Like, why would you, right? Yeah. But that's what you're

00:20:54.620 saying. When you say, I might actually, I might tell you. When you, when you don't accept a compliment,

00:21:00.120 you're like, Oh, I don't like that compliment. You're what you gave me is not, I don't want it.

00:21:04.600 Don't do that. Just say, thank you. I guess the bottom line is be intentional with your words,

00:21:10.600 right? Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally. Powerful. All right. So we're jumping to Facebook, uh, to

00:21:17.140 join us on the Facebook group. You can go to facebook.com slash group slash order of man.

00:21:21.540 Uh, these questions are that come from that secured, uh, Facebook group. So our first question

00:21:26.240 is from Teddy Subblefield. Um, this is quite ironic because Teddy's making a huge assumption here that

00:21:32.580 you're actually humble, but he says, despise your success. Despite your success, how do you manage

00:21:37.860 to stay humble? Also, when taking advice from someone more successful than you, do you follow

00:21:43.100 up blindly or apply it to your own situation? Consider it and make your own decisions. We

00:21:46.440 already know the second answer. And then maybe the other question is, are you humble? I'm just joking.

00:21:51.660 I try to be humble. I try to be humble. I know my, my pride and arrogance gets in the way at times

00:21:56.800 and every time it does, it doesn't serve me well. So I'm really conscious of that. And I do my

00:22:00.360 after action reviews to ensure that I am learning, that I am growing, that I am open to new

00:22:04.920 ideas. I fall prey to this a lot on social media. Somebody will post something and it's at odds with

00:22:10.200 what I think or what I said. And I'll immediately jump into defense mode and I'll make us some stupid 0.99

00:22:16.200 or snarky comment back. And then if I go back and evaluate it, I think, Oh, maybe there's some 0.99

00:22:23.800 validity to what that individual was saying, but that, that comes with an intentional after action

00:22:27.880 review of your actions. So I do that all the time. Um, as far as taking blind advice. Yeah, no, I mean,

00:22:33.760 you'd never do that. Okay. You're number one. First thing you've got to do is you have to qualify

00:22:39.160 the source of your information because everybody has a thought. Everybody has an idea. Everybody has

00:22:43.540 an opinion. There is no shortage for people who want to share those things with you. So you need to

00:22:48.000 a qualify your source of information. If you've determined that that source of information is indeed

00:22:53.800 qualified, then the next step is to understand or try to apply it to your personal situation.

00:23:02.760 Don't make excuses for it, which may be a variation of their success, right? Like, you know what I mean?

00:23:08.040 You're not the same, right? So, so try to try to compare it and, and, and put it into context of

00:23:14.600 what you're trying to do and go from there. So definitely want to think about that advice,

00:23:17.960 but always qualify at first. So really quick. So on Teddy's legit question, like the initial one

00:23:24.380 about managing managed to stay humble, you, you tie it back to your after action review is, is

00:23:30.200 having an after action review on a regular basis, putting yourself in check, evaluating how effective

00:23:36.640 are, how you're acting, how you come across to those in, you know, in your life. Like, do you want

00:23:41.540 to talk to you about that a little bit further? Like what kind of, what does that after action review

00:23:45.240 look like and how does that help you stay humble? It's, it's very simply everything, something I do

00:23:50.540 after every interaction, every encounter conversation, after this podcast, I'll do it

00:23:54.860 after a presentation I give after singing my kids to bed each night, like, did that go according to

00:24:00.760 plan? What did I get done? What didn't I get done? How could that have gone better? What would I have

00:24:05.460 liked to have accomplished? And that I, that I didn't, what did I do? Well, what did I not do so well

00:24:09.780 and what can I do better moving forward? So when I have these interactions on social media,

00:24:13.300 because we use that example earlier, I asked myself, okay, if this happens again,

00:24:17.620 and it's likely that it will, how can I handle myself better? And in the context of, of social

00:24:24.220 media, it's not be so reactionary when things are at odds with what I'm saying. Like I don't have to

00:24:30.820 react so quickly, just give it some time. And my other thought has been just give them the benefit

00:24:35.700 of the doubt. Maybe they just suck at communication. Maybe their, their heart is in the right place, 0.98

00:24:41.060 but they just don't know how to communicate it. So I give them the benefit of the doubt. And if I

00:24:44.580 respond that way, it seems to go more positively. So when I do my after action review, I realized,

00:24:50.260 oh, okay, well that's how you respond to it. And then that makes life more manageable.

00:24:54.460 Yeah. Copy. Zachary Cooper, what kind of music do you and Kip enjoy? I've wondered for some time

00:25:00.860 now, favorite genre artists, maybe a song that pumps you up for a good workout.

00:25:05.100 I don't. People ask this a lot. I don't, I don't listen to a whole lot of music. I really don't.

00:25:09.800 The only music I listened to is usually country. It's not even new country. It's, it's older country,

00:25:15.620 not old Garth Brooks. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, there's a station on, uh, on Pandora called Joe

00:25:21.760 Diffie radio. That's what I listened to most of it. If I'm going to listen to music at all, but I don't 0.99

00:25:26.380 listen to a whole lot of music. I just, it's not, it doesn't do it for me. I don't know.

00:25:31.100 No, no, no. I just, I just listened to the dance in repeat. That's right, man. Over and over and

00:25:37.420 over again. Yeah. And then like a techno version for when he's working out. That's right. Techno

00:25:42.540 a metal version. Usually when I listen, usually when I work out, I am listening to podcasts.

00:25:50.580 Yeah. Hmm. Sometimes I listen to Ben Shapiro, not because he fires me up, but the context of what

00:25:56.780 he's talking about fires me up and it pisses me off. So maybe it gives me a harder workout. I don't

00:26:01.400 know. That's funny. Uh, you know, I don't listen to podcasts when I work out or if I go running

00:26:07.240 maybe. Right. But, uh, usually I'm listening to music. I'm across the board. I do. I rarely listen

00:26:13.820 to country music. Um, I don't know. How's this? The family's at the lake for the last couple of days.

00:26:20.900 And so, um, I'm kind of home alone and my genre changes because I'm a hypocrite and I listen to 0.87

00:26:26.460 my good old nineties hip hop. And then I switched to, uh, I don't know, something a little bit more 0.75

00:26:34.780 like, um, geez, like I like folk, believe it or not, like Irish folk rock. It's kind of Mumford and

00:26:43.660 Sons kind of music. I, I, I dig that stuff. I love Joshua Radin. I love Damien Rice, like just

00:26:50.340 kind of good. I don't know. I even enjoy some reggae of late, but that was probably cause I was

00:26:55.040 in Hawaii. So I was kind of a little bit on a reggae kick, but I listened to a little bit of

00:26:59.300 everything. There you go. Yeah. Better answer than I had. Uh, well, but I think you're probably

00:27:07.100 growing more. I don't think listening to Dre is, is benefiting me as a human being. Meanwhile,

00:27:12.920 you're listening to Ben Shapiro and you're probably, you're learning something. So

00:27:16.060 I think there's value to unwinding too, though. Yeah. And not having to be plugged into education

00:27:22.360 all the time. Yeah. That's what I struggle with. Yeah. What, which actually is a question. Um,

00:27:28.720 it's a good segue actually. Um, uh, Ryan Comte, um, he had a question around how do you address that?

00:27:35.540 Like, how do you deal with information overload or, you know, everything between podcasts, books and,

00:27:40.320 and, um, you know, taking in more information for work and, and all that kind of stuff. Like

00:27:46.540 what, what tactics do you have to kind of deal with that? Yeah. I I've noticed that that happens

00:27:51.080 to me quite often when I'm reading or listening to podcast or thinking about new strategies is like,

00:27:55.560 is my brain starts to fry. I can feel it. Right. I'm like so much so that it causes me to

00:28:00.520 not take action. So it's actually producing the exact opposite result of what I'm trying to accomplish.

00:28:04.860 Yeah. And so it's paralysis by analysis. So what I've done is disconnected myself from the source

00:28:10.560 of information. That's it. Whether it's a book or listening to podcasts or just cut back,

00:28:15.740 just cut back or, or close it altogether. You know, maybe do a detox, a digital detox,

00:28:20.600 which Cal Newport talks about in his book, digital minimalism. And also in the podcast that we did

00:28:25.460 several months ago, uh, he, he calls it a digital detox. So you're literally detoxing from the effects of

00:28:33.560 social media, uh, the stimulus that you receive. I there's it's, we have so much information.

00:28:40.920 And if you're utilizing all of that information, you're really doing yourself a disservice. And

00:28:45.020 then what's interesting is I've thought about this a lot on my Instagram page. Every once in a while,

00:28:51.020 I post like a stack of books that I'm currently reading. And those posts always do significantly

00:28:55.740 better than other posts. And I thought to myself, well, why is that the case? It's because people are

00:29:01.320 constantly searching, searching, searching, searching more than they're doing, doing, doing,

00:29:05.920 doing. So I think we feel like we fall into the trap of, of thinking that we're successful because

00:29:13.320 we're acquiring information and information is important. You have to acquire that information,

00:29:18.800 but it's not success until you actually apply it successfully. So it's a part of the process.

00:29:26.040 It's not the result in and of itself. And that's where people get hung up is they consume,

00:29:31.200 consume, consume thinking it's doing something good for them. And yet, if it's never producing

00:29:35.820 anything, then it's just a waste of time, like watching TV or dinging off in some manner would be.

00:29:41.260 So just detox, remove yourself from the situation, from the environment, from the stimulus and go do

00:29:48.740 something else. If you need to go on a run without music, I would actually encourage you to do that.

00:29:53.760 If you usually work out with music, work out without it. If you run with music, run without

00:29:57.660 it. If you're in the car and you're driving home and you're on your commute and you listen to podcast

00:30:01.340 or talk radio, or even music, turn it off. Just sit in silence, complete and utter silence.

00:30:07.520 And those things will help you gain more clarity and more focus towards your desired result that

00:30:13.120 you're actually after rather than just inundating you with stimulus.

00:30:16.740 Do you think that detox is, is almost like a daily detox? Like, Hey, every day between six and nine,

00:30:21.820 I'm, I'm, I'm stopping inputs or is it more, you know, you're, you're a little bit of a lot of

00:30:29.020 information gathering and then, you know, monthly or whatever you're, you're kind of detoxing at that

00:30:34.020 level. You think, I think both, I think doing like a fast, like a prolonged fast of, of your digital

00:30:39.380 access would be very, very good. Maybe that's a weekend. Maybe you're up at the cabin or you're at

00:30:43.320 the lake and you just say, you know what, I'm not even going to bring my phone, not even going to

00:30:47.320 bring it and don't bring it and just go be present where you are. But I also think there's value in

00:30:52.720 doing that every day. A lot of people, and I used to do this. I don't do it much anymore as the first

00:30:56.700 thing they do when they get up is they check their phone. Don't do that. Just leave your phone plugged

00:31:01.600 in. It's going to be fine. Your emails are going to be there when you get back in an hour, but go have

00:31:05.740 breakfast, go run a mile, go do some pushups, go read a book, meditate, pray, do whatever it is you do.

00:31:12.560 Let that be the first thing that you do. And in the evening, shut it down. You know, if you go to

00:31:17.260 bed at, let's say you go to bed at 10 o'clock, maybe you're, you, you've just made the personal

00:31:22.600 boundary that you're going to shut off all communication at eight o'clock. It's fine. Everybody, there's not

00:31:27.560 going to be an emergency. If there is somebody will get ahold of you. I promise. Uh, there's, there's no

00:31:32.480 disaster that you're going to avert by, by being plugged into your, your phone. You're not going to

00:31:37.860 miss anything on Instagram. It'll be there in the morning. Just make it eight o'clock and just have that

00:31:42.040 as your personal boundary. Cool. There you go, guys. All right. Keith Goddard, how can you,

00:31:48.620 how can we motivate ourselves to do tasks that we struggle with the most?

00:31:54.580 How can you say that one more time? I'm just trying to make sure I wrap more or less.

00:31:58.020 Yeah. How can we get motivated to do tasks that we struggle with the most?

00:32:01.880 Oh, tie it to the objective. That's it. Just tie it to what you're after. Cause there's something

00:32:07.380 that's moving you. There's something that's motivating you. That's propelling you forward. You know,

00:32:11.000 that there's going to be things that need to get done. Just make sure you tie it back to that. I

00:32:14.560 had to send out an email. We've got an event coming up. It's August 10th and 11th in, in Maine

00:32:18.980 here on our property. It's going to be amazing. Uh, you're, you're coming out. Matthew Arrington's

00:32:23.080 coming out. We're going to have the network. We're going to have 75 other guys activities. I mean,

00:32:28.560 it's going to be incredible. And you're going to walk away with a very, very specific battle plan

00:32:32.120 on how to approach your next 90 days of life. Uh, but that being said is I had to send out an

00:32:39.000 email this morning to remind everybody when it is. And I just, I really didn't want to do it

00:32:43.060 because I've got other things to do. And for whatever reason, I didn't want to do it. So did

00:32:47.300 I do it? Yeah. I hit send about a half an hour before I got on the call with you because it's just

00:32:52.080 part of the process and it's not always like the funnest, but that doesn't mean it doesn't need to

00:32:56.200 be done. It doesn't mean that I can't do it. So I cranked out an email and I don't know, 30 minutes

00:33:01.000 or whatever it was and hit send and we'll have some, some other guys register and all will be well.

00:33:06.160 But I tied it to the objective, which is having 75 guys out here and enjoying our time together and

00:33:10.800 eating and breaking bread together and sweating and challenging and pushing each other together.

00:33:15.040 And that tied me to, or excuse me, that was tied to the task I didn't want to do. And I just drove

00:33:21.320 through it. And I realized tasks are temporary, you know? And that's the thing about tasks too,

00:33:26.440 is you feel so much better when you do it. Like if there's something you've been dreading,

00:33:29.800 whether it's a task or a conversation that you know, you need to have, we, we are so good at

00:33:35.200 procrastinating, putting that stuff off. But tell me this, when's the last time that you did

00:33:41.920 something that you've been procrastinating and felt bad about it? Never always. Yeah. You feel so much

00:33:49.980 better, right? You get that done. It's like this load has been lifted off your shoulders. Oh man,

00:33:55.600 I got that done. That feels so good. So tie yourself to how it will feel when you get it done and tie

00:34:00.120 yourself to the final objective that you actually are motivated and inspired by.

00:34:04.400 Yeah. I think a lot of procrastination is, is really delayed or it's, it's really tied to

00:34:10.100 delayed gratification, right? Struggling with this idea of, and a part of it's like our world,

00:34:16.720 right? Everything's about stimulus instant, right? Like it's, it's rare that, that we have to wait and

00:34:24.280 drudge through a process to reap the results of something. And so we really have gotten into this,

00:34:30.320 I think culturally and socially, we're in this condition of just like immediately at my hand.

00:34:36.080 Right. And so I would focus on really two things. One, be clear. What's the impact if you don't do it?

00:34:44.760 And I'm kind of talking at like bigger tasks, not so much email, but like,

00:34:48.060 let's say your struggle is going to the gym right now. First, what's the impact if you don't go to

00:34:56.280 the gym every day and, and the real impact and the impact's not just, Oh, I'll be overweight. No,

00:35:04.100 no, no. The impact is I might die 10 years younger. The other impact is if I'm living unhealthy and I

00:35:11.780 don't set a standard of why exercise is important, then my kids are going to do the same thing that I'm

00:35:17.520 doing. They're going to be unhealthy. They're going to be overweight. And now they're affected

00:35:24.060 by my poor decisions as well. Like the impact of our decisions is far greater than I think we realize

00:35:30.280 often. And so I like to think about what is really, what's at stake if I don't kill it today? What's the

00:35:37.460 stake if I don't do all these things that is really important that I should be doing. And, and I like

00:35:42.320 the, also the analogy of there is no someday, right? It's not like there's no eight day of the week,

00:35:48.120 you know, Saturday, Sunday, someday, right? Like, so if you have this mentality of like, Oh,

00:35:53.320 well someday or whatever, guess what? It doesn't exist. And you have no guarantees that it will.

00:35:59.300 All you get today, all you have is today and, and how you show up today will have lasting impact.

00:36:06.300 And that's where progress is. So I like to try to, I don't know whether it's just pondering,

00:36:12.600 I guess, is maybe the term I'd use is get, get present to what the impact is. And trust me,

00:36:18.320 it's bigger than you think. Yeah. I think what you're talking about here is the difference between

00:36:22.580 the carrot or the stick, right? Maybe you like being motivated by the stick, the potentials of what

00:36:27.400 could happen. Should you not do it? I, I personally like the carrot better. I'm motivated by what could

00:36:33.340 be. I can see potentially I go to negative town, right? Like, which is fine. Crash if I don't.

00:36:38.900 Yeah. And I'm not saying that's wrong. It's, it's not, I think both of us or everybody, I should say

00:36:43.640 are in, are motivated by different things and neither one of them are wrong. It's just what

00:36:48.280 works for you. So you have to decide, is the carrot more enticing to me or avoiding the stick

00:36:53.020 more enticing, whatever it is, use it to your advantage and figure out a way to implement it in your

00:36:58.740 thought process so that you can get past these tasks that you don't necessarily enjoy.

00:37:02.540 I love that. The stick, negative impact, the carrot, your objective or your goal.

00:37:08.820 Right. Love it. All right. Sean sailors. I think a lot of guys want to know what sparked your move

00:37:14.840 when they asked, why did you decide to move to Maine? Um, we kind of banged through this quite a

00:37:21.040 bit. Yeah. I mean, just real quickly, I can say that we were ready for an adventure. We wanted to

00:37:25.540 try something new. Uh, I had been just a little familiar with Maine because I came out here for an

00:37:30.660 origin event. Uh, I really loved it. Kind of fell in love with it while I was out here.

00:37:34.880 I was sending my wife pictures and videos of it. And she said, yeah, it's beautiful right now. It's

00:37:38.540 the fall. So she said, let's go out in the winter and see. I said, great. So she got a real estate

00:37:43.660 agent. And I'm like, are you serious? You want a real estate agent? You want to buy a house? She's 0.99

00:37:47.240 like, no, I just want to look. I'm curious. And long story short, we looked at, I don't know,

00:37:51.600 a dozen or so homes. And the last one we came down and it was beautiful and immediately fell in love

00:37:57.140 with it. Put an offer in while we were here and let it ride. I mean, that's really, I wish I could

00:38:02.180 tell you people ask this question so often because they don't get it. And quite honestly, I don't get

00:38:06.960 it either, but we are in the position where we can do this. Uh, so why not? I don't ever want to look

00:38:13.560 back and think about what could have been if I would have just taken a little bit of a, uh, I don't

00:38:19.060 even want to say risk. It's not a risk because worst case scenario is we don't like it. We're out here

00:38:24.240 for a couple of years. We don't like it. And we're out a little time, maybe a little bit of money. I

00:38:29.620 don't think that's even really the case. And we move home and all as well. And we had an adventure

00:38:34.340 together. There's no risk in what we're doing. So I think again, what it drove me to what could

00:38:40.280 be, I don't know. I don't know why we're out here. I don't know what could potentially have us

00:38:44.320 out here, but we're here and we're trying it. And I'm excited about what the future holds.

00:38:48.260 I want to be fair to Sean. Cause I don't want to sound like I downplayed his question. Cause he

00:38:52.820 actually made some additional comments here that I think are somewhat legit, but he,

00:38:57.240 or not somewhat legit are legit. Um, but it was kind of like one of the things that he asked in

00:39:02.340 his, uh, detailed questionnaire is like, you know, why now versus last year? And you know what I mean?

00:39:07.660 Like, was there any, I would have done it last year if like, no, if it was on your radar, no. Yeah.

00:39:11.720 If it was on my radar last year, I would have done it last year. Okay. It wasn't, it wasn't a timing

00:39:15.160 issue. Okay. It was really just, Hey, it was on my radar and you went for it. Yeah. Copy. Chris

00:39:23.200 Baber with your religion being LDS is part of the order or order of man or the iron council rooted in 0.99

00:39:30.260 that. I wouldn't say rooted in it, but I would say influenced by, yeah, that's, that's it. It's

00:39:38.060 just influenced by my, my personal belief system. Yeah. Well, I mean, let's be honest. Hopefully

00:39:44.000 any of us that is practicing some religion, it's, it's part of who we are being as men. So by default,

00:39:51.760 it's kind of who Ryan is, you know what I mean? And yeah, if you want to look at the iron council is

00:39:57.320 right, right. If you want to look, for example, protect, provide, preside, that's in a, uh, a document

00:40:04.280 that was put out by our church presidency called the family proclamation. So if you want to even

00:40:08.920 know where protect, provide, preside came from, it's in that document. Again, it's called family

00:40:13.740 proclamation. You can go look it up, Google it. You can find it really easily. Inkley. Yep.

00:40:18.960 Gordon. Yep. Uh, and yeah, you can go read that. So yeah, everything that we do is influenced by

00:40:25.220 not only my spiritual beliefs, but what I ate for lunch today. Cause that's who we are, right? Like

00:40:31.160 we're all influenced by our surroundings and that's going to create our natural outcomes and

00:40:35.500 what we put out into the world. Yeah. Steve M Cox with starting a battle plan. What is the best

00:40:44.040 approach? Do the battle plan. It's all, it's all right there. It's all, I mean, what do you mean?

00:40:50.600 What is the best approach? Do the battle plan. Yeah. And so step one is vision. Step two is objectives.

00:40:56.960 Step three is tactics. Step four is checkpoints. Step five is act.

00:41:04.320 Yeah. I would say get sovereignty and don't worry about making like one common pitfall we see in the

00:41:11.580 IEC, uh, within the iron council quite a bit is guys almost spend too much time, like trying to get

00:41:17.380 the battle plan correct. And it's like, no, no guys, like it is better that you get rolling and

00:41:24.260 get it in place and start acting and then pivot and adjust if you need to, like, there's no such

00:41:29.680 thing as the perfect battle plan, right? The idea is, is just get going, right? Identify your

00:41:35.320 objectives, identify your tactics and, and take action. Yeah. So don't worry about it being perfect.

00:41:41.540 Yeah. There is. And, and the other thing is, is a lot of people, and maybe I'll answer this

00:41:45.480 question a little bit more specifically here. A lot of people skip over the vision part.

00:41:49.060 They go straight to, I want to be 15% body fat. I want to do a 400 pound deadlift. I want to read

00:41:55.280 a thousand books this year. I want to, whatever. Well, that's all great. But if it doesn't tie into

00:41:59.260 your vision to a previous question, what's going to get you going through the hard times?

00:42:04.700 What's going to get you when, when you don't want to wake up and work out, or you want to have that

00:42:08.500 big bowl of ice cream or any number of things that could happen to you that would derail you from

00:42:13.200 your battle plan. So start with the vision. Where's the best place to start your vision,

00:42:18.560 vision, then objectives, then tactics, then checkpoints, then execute it. And to your point,

00:42:25.460 Kip, it's in sovereignty. It's, it's a full part. It's a full segment of the, I was going to say

00:42:31.260 chapter. It's not chapter. It's a segment of the book. It's the last part of the book. And it goes into

00:42:36.160 detail on how to establish your battle plan. Yes. Sovereignty for the details on how to set

00:42:43.260 that up. And then also if you want a battle planner, which is a book that kind of guides you

00:42:50.440 as part of that process, as part of your battle plan, you can pick those up at the store that

00:42:56.040 URL store.orderofman.com. Yes. And if you want some accountability, then go join the iron council

00:43:02.540 orderofman.com slash iron council. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. What would you like to achieve in the next

00:43:11.220 five years? Wow. That's a broad question. What would I like to achieve? I'm trying to think about

00:43:18.940 how I want to approach this. If I want to talk about generally that vision or specifically, I want

00:43:25.440 to continue to grow the order of man. No doubt. I want to create a lot more growth here, potentially

00:43:31.160 bring on chapters of the order of man. So guys can meet locally and regionally. I think that's

00:43:34.660 valuable, uh, within my personal life, uh, uh, physically, physically wise, um, definitely do

00:43:43.040 a marathon and accomplish a marathon. Um, just get stronger in general. It's hard because I don't do

00:43:49.920 five-year planning. People ask me, what's your long-term goals? I don't have long-term goals. I just

00:43:53.560 have a vision of the way I'm going to be. And then I get break it down into 12 weeks. That's why we talk

00:43:58.180 about the battle plan so much. Um, yeah, I mean, that's, that's it. Just have some good experiences

00:44:04.880 with my kids, grow the business, grow the bank account, get fit. And these are all things I want

00:44:09.460 to do over five years. I don't, I don't plan in five-year segments. I don't, I don't do that.

00:44:14.460 People talk about long-term planning. I'm like, I don't know. I don't do long-term planning. It's

00:44:17.900 too long. It's too, it's like, I don't know what's going to, I don't know what I'm having for lunch

00:44:20.860 tonight, today. Like, let alone what's going to happen in five years. Now I have an idea of what kind

00:44:26.060 of food I want to eat because I want to be healthy, but I don't know what exactly I'm going to have.

00:44:30.980 Same thing with long-term planning. I don't know what's going to happen. I didn't know I was

00:44:34.500 eight months ago. I didn't know I'd be living in Maine right now. So why create these objectives

00:44:39.340 that could potentially be derailed so quickly? Yeah. You, you definitely lean on that side of the

00:44:44.860 pendulum of just act, you know what I mean? And you're just constantly going. Right. I mean,

00:44:49.680 when's the last time you did something and it was like catastrophic to the point you couldn't

00:44:53.760 recover from it. Very rarely does that happen. So, so me, I'm like, just go do it.

00:45:01.000 Want to start a podcast? Cool. Like if you were serious about starting a podcast, you'd have a

00:45:05.800 podcast up and running tonight. Oh, but Ryan, I need this. And no, you don't. No, you don't. You

00:45:10.160 got a microphone on your computer. Just do it. You, you have an, a way to record. Oh, but it won't be

00:45:14.200 perfect. Okay. Well then you don't want it bad enough and that's okay, but don't lie to yourself

00:45:17.980 and tell you, you do. If you want something bad enough, then you will, you will find a way to

00:45:25.820 make it happen immediately. Immediately. Most people just don't want things bad enough, which

00:45:31.840 is okay, but they're lying to themselves when they say they want it. They don't want it. Well,

00:45:35.660 they would, maybe they do want it. They just want it without the work. Yeah. Yeah. They're not,

00:45:40.660 they're not present to the reality of what they're willing and unwilling to do. It's delusion. It's,

00:45:45.460 it's fantasy land. It's a little fairytale land. Yeah. All right. Tyler Myron, how do you analyze

00:45:52.240 an important decision in a quick fashion when you have a tight timeline or you perceive you have a

00:45:57.120 tight timeline? Pick one. I know that sounds like a cop-out. It's not. Pick one. What's your intuition

00:46:06.500 say? Good. Go that route. Now, run immediately. There's too much evaluation. This goes back to what

00:46:14.460 we were saying earlier. There's too much evaluation. You know what the right path is.

00:46:20.260 So just go do it. Oh, but I don't know. Yeah, you don't know. And you will never know unless you do

00:46:24.660 it. So trust what your intuition is telling you. Trust what any data you have is supporting and make

00:46:30.960 a decision. We're not talking about brain surgery. And if you're talking about brain surgery, you're

00:46:34.820 asking the wrong guy. We're talking about decisions that aren't catastrophic, that aren't really,

00:46:42.240 quite frankly, all that relevant in the grand scheme of things. Just make a damn decision and 0.99

00:46:49.120 do it quickly. And if it's wrong, then adapt as quickly as you possibly can. Yeah. One more 0.99

00:46:58.460 question. Sure. All right. Daniel Castleberry, how can a man get rid of an impulse behavior?

00:47:05.540 Um, get, I would say margin margin because that's what's happening. You're making decisions too

00:47:15.520 quickly and you're not giving yourself margin in the time. So whatever that impulse decision is that

00:47:20.380 you continue to make, it sounds like maybe it's habitual, give yourself some space between thought

00:47:25.860 and action. So this is like a little counterintuitive based on what I just said, right? It's a little

00:47:30.580 different. But if you're having these impulse decisions that aren't serving you, you know,

00:47:34.740 they're not serving you, then you need to have a gap between your thoughts or your emotions and

00:47:40.720 your actions. That could be a mental gap. That could be physically, I'm going to separate myself

00:47:46.000 from the situation. That could be a time restraint, but whatever you can do to, or to widen the gap

00:47:52.000 between thought slash emotion and action, the better off you're going to be. Yeah. I would,

00:47:59.260 do you think, let me know what you think on this idea, Ryan is, is I think out regardless of that

00:48:05.440 behavior, I think practicing and taking actions around delayed gratification, like doing things

00:48:14.160 that force you to have delayed gratification is also kind of part of our, our resilience and our

00:48:22.360 ability to just not be so impulsive and immediately get everything that we want and find the value in

00:48:29.640 a bigger goal, right? Find the value in prolonged, uh, effort or whatever it is to receive a reward,

00:48:37.320 regardless of if it's tied directly to this, because I think it's a little bit of impulse

00:48:42.540 behaviors, a little bit of a personality thing too. Yeah. I would, I would also say, and this is what

00:48:47.960 your comments led me to think as well, is that you may consider some discipline exercises. One that I

00:48:53.960 can think of right offhand is, is fasting. Yeah, totally do a prolonged fast and you'll realize

00:49:00.600 really quickly how strong your mind really is. And you'll strengthen the muscle and it is a muscle,

00:49:05.680 your ability to delay gratification. It can be improved through the use of an exercise of that,

00:49:12.480 of that part of your, your body. So do it, do a fast, do a digital detox. We talked about that

00:49:18.980 earlier, do a food fast. These things will all help you see that you can do it, that you're capable

00:49:24.840 of doing it, that you don't actually need what you think you need or what your body's trying to tell

00:49:30.600 you, you need, and you can delay that gratification. And then I think that'll translate nicely into other

00:49:35.720 areas of your life and grow that muscle at the same time and get better at it. That's right.

00:49:40.040 That's perfect. Yeah. Great one to end on. Yeah, it is. All right. Thank you guys for,

00:49:46.220 for submitting those questions. Um, if you want to have the opportunity to submit questions to this,

00:49:51.660 uh, episode, um, of the order of man podcasts, um, we mentioned them earlier, but you can do so by

00:49:57.660 joining us on Facebook at facebook.com slash group slash order of man, or you can join us on the court

00:50:04.040 of life and getting after it and join us on order of man.com slash iron council and, and join us in

00:50:11.120 our exclusive brotherhood. Uh, we do have the main event, uh, August 10th through the 11th. You can

00:50:17.660 learn more about that event by going to order of man.com slash main event. And that's M A I N E E V E N T. 0.96

00:50:25.880 Um, for more information. Um, I don't know what our percentage is, but I'm assuming we do have a few

00:50:31.720 openings there. Is that accurate, right? Yeah. I think we have about 20, just under 20 spots left.

00:50:36.440 So it's going to fill up very quickly. We're really close now. So get on it quick. Yeah. Awesome. And

00:50:41.560 it's dude. And for you guys, it's never been to an order of man event, whether it be an uprising or

00:50:47.300 some of the meetups that we've done in the past. Um, there's two major benefits to this.

00:50:52.000 Yeah. If you don't mind me, it was probably more, but let me summarize to you one, the kind of

00:50:57.960 rubbing shoulders with like-minded men that are on the court in life that are getting after it,

00:51:03.580 that are effective, that are, are, are focused on improving. That is just one major benefit of this

00:51:09.440 event, regardless of what we covered. Uh, and then the content, um, the, the presentations,

00:51:15.140 the activities, um, that, that you'll get to experience as part of this event is, is just awesome.

00:51:21.220 Um, and it will make a, uh, a lasting difference in your life. So, uh, we'd love to have you guys.

00:51:26.560 And, and certainly if, if you're on the fence, like we're saying earlier, stop analyzing,

00:51:31.220 just do it. Yeah. Make the decision to come out here. It's I promise. Make the investment in

00:51:35.260 yourself. Yeah. It's what the $300 for the event just under, and maybe it'll cost you, I don't know,

00:51:40.180 another three or 400 in, in lodging in, in a plane flight. Okay. Six, 700 bucks. I promise you

00:51:46.780 in 90 days, that sick, that 600, 700 bucks, whatever it is, is going to be irrelevant.

00:51:53.620 I promise you, if you implement what we're going to be talking about over the 90 day period.

00:51:57.780 Yeah. And the irony is we're saying this not from a leadership perspective. I say this from

00:52:03.140 my participation in previous events, right? Like when we did Nashville, you know, I came as,

00:52:10.920 as a, I guess, uh, a team member, right. To provide service. I benefited from the event and

00:52:17.900 I was better off by coming. So, um, yeah, it's, I say this coming from any event I've ever attended.

00:52:24.400 If I, the investment I've made in events that I resonate with have always come back to me

00:52:29.920 tenfold. This is going to be no different. If anything, it's going to be better than that.

00:52:33.680 Yeah. Love it. Uh, guys, if you want to support the podcast and, and really the movement and,

00:52:38.760 and, and join us in this fight, you know, I think there's a handful of ways you can do it.

00:52:42.900 One, you can join us on the Facebook group. You can subscribe to this podcast. You can share,

00:52:47.320 you can follow Mr. Mickler on Twitter and Instagram at Ryan Mickler. And then you can

00:52:52.520 support the movement by showing people, right. That you support the movement by wearing an order

00:52:57.380 of man shirt and then a hat and having a flag and decals on your cars and then getting on the

00:53:02.140 court and getting a battle planner. You can look and find those materials at store.orderofman.com.

00:53:07.140 Excellent. I think that's it, man. I think we did a, I think we did a fine job today answering those

00:53:13.020 questions. Yeah. A little bit of a quick one. We'll, we'll, we'll get a more,

00:53:16.900 they'll be prolonged questions next week. Yeah. Yeah. All right, guys, I appreciate you always

00:53:21.560 being on this battle and this journey with me to reclaim and restore masculinity. Thanks for the

00:53:25.720 questions. Thanks for banding with us. And, uh, we will catch you on Friday for our Friday field

00:53:30.220 notes, but until then take action, become the man you are meant to be.

00:53:33.940 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:53:38.500 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - July 17, 2019

The Carrot or the Stick, Being Intentional in Your Rhetoric, and Delayed Gratification ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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