Order of Man - The Confidence⧸Competence Loop, Approaching Women, and Motivating Others

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:04.960 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.340 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.080 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.600 you can call yourself a man. Sean, you're back from the wild, from your hunt, man. How did it go?

00:00:30.000 It was good. Everybody keeps asking me if it was successful, and it was successful in a way that

00:00:38.280 I learned a ton, but didn't get an elk. We weren't able to shoot one. I actually

00:00:44.180 had a chance, should have, and that was one of my learning experiences. It was just one of those

00:00:53.040 things where I got my ass handed to me, but we did well. We called in a bunch of different bulls,

00:00:59.340 just everything has to go right, man. One of the circumstances was I had a bull literally 10 feet

00:01:06.440 away from me, but on the other side of a big giant oak brush bush. I mean, you can't shoot

00:01:14.540 through it, and it smelled me and then took off the exact direction through the bush.

00:01:24.300 By the time I got rounded it and couldn't stop it, it wouldn't stop to noises or anything. It's just

00:01:31.360 that kind of little stuff. It was very successful. We got into a bunch, and like I said, learned a ton,

00:01:38.800 excited for the next one.

00:01:40.920 At least you had the opportunity, right? I think when hunts are almost depressing is when you didn't

00:01:47.900 even see anything enough to even have a chance. Oh, that's the worst. Yeah. But still, right to

00:01:54.740 your point, there's some winning, right? Got up in the mountains and learned and whatever, but

00:02:00.180 it's the worst if you never even saw the bull, right? Or you never even saw the buck. That just

00:02:06.960 kind of sucks. Oh, yeah. There's nothing worse than that when you're completely skunked. So we were

00:02:13.480 seeing stuff every day. We were getting into things, hiking. I probably hiked. I'd average

00:02:19.060 nine to ten miles a day hiking around up and down elevation. So that part's all good.

00:02:25.120 Yeah. Well, welcome back to the real world, man. Yeah.

00:02:31.460 Back to the grind. All right. Well, let's get into it. We got questions from the Iron Council.

00:02:38.400 That's our exclusive brotherhood. If you guys haven't looked up the Iron Council, go to

00:02:44.280 orderofman.com slash ironcouncil to learn more. We are currently accepting and we have open

00:02:50.880 enrollment. That's going to last roughly about two weeks. So now's your chance. Get on the path.

00:02:56.540 Join us, orderofman.com slash ironcouncil. All right. First question, Daniel Garcia,

00:03:02.280 implementing the confidence and competence loop. We chatted before we hit record. I have no idea what

00:03:07.960 this is, so I'm going to be going blind on this one. But strategies around implementing the

00:03:13.040 confidence and competence loop. Well, you have to do it. You have to practice. So the confidence,

00:03:21.780 competence loop just has to do with any skill set that you're trying to improve. And with

00:03:28.400 most people, actually, I shouldn't say most people. I think there's a big chunk of people that think that

00:03:36.760 before you do anything, you need to know what you're doing. And that's not always necessarily

00:03:44.200 true, but you see a lot of people out there that gather knowledge on top of knowledge, on top of

00:03:50.380 knowledge, trying to know more before they take any action. And that doesn't really promote growth.

00:03:58.260 Get the reps. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's some people that just wing it. And that's not necessarily

00:04:06.020 productive either. But you're better off, though, taking some sort of action regardless. And so

00:04:15.520 the competence part comes most of the time in doing. Like we were just mentioning my hunt,

00:04:21.700 right. And the kind of the success of that, you can watch any number of videos. And I had this

00:04:28.000 conversation, my buddy, who is a world class hunter, he, he, he's friends with Rogan and John

00:04:35.400 Dudley and Cam Haynes, and he's hunted with all these guys. And, and I called him afterwards. And I asked

00:04:42.480 him questions, because he's the guy who actually got me into bow hunting. And, and I said, dude, you know,

00:04:48.560 I'm, I'm, I'm looking at these videos, you know, of, of guys killing, and I did everything exactly

00:04:54.980 the same. I'm just noticing little things. And my one opportunity that I had to, to take an actual

00:05:01.480 shot, I feel like I messed up and here's what happened. Right. And I, I tell him this scenario

00:05:06.620 and he goes, he, he like very bluntly says, dude, you're a bow hunter. You know, it's hard.

00:05:14.500 It's most of the time. And he, and he kind of explains to me the numbers and the scenarios.

00:05:20.200 And he's like, you're watching videos of kills. Of course you're seeing like, you know, they,

00:05:25.260 they're, yeah, their setups were perfect and all these things. He's like, it sounds like your setups

00:05:29.340 were perfect too. He's just, he's just like a hundred things have to go right. And that's the

00:05:34.800 way that it is. So you, he's like, but you have to put in reps. And here's what stood out to me

00:05:39.300 is, is he told me what happened to him and how he went out on his own, um, and got skunked for three

00:05:46.840 years, but he was out three weeks at a time, all three of those years, you know, before he killed

00:05:53.220 his first bull. And so I'm, I'm thinking, you know, I've gone out the last few years and total time

00:06:00.840 in those few years has maybe been three weeks, you know? And so like, I just need reps. I need time.

00:06:08.460 I need, you know, time out in, in the woods, um, gaining that experience gaming, gaining those

00:06:16.200 scenarios. And it's like, I just talked about where I failed this time. I learned from that

00:06:20.900 and it'll never happen again. The same thing happened to him. I just need more reps to catch

00:06:25.320 up. And then the second part of this is the, the fastest way to get through the reps successfully

00:06:35.000 and learn the most is to be able to do what I did, where you can call somebody who has that

00:06:41.420 experience, who has that knowledge, who's been through it, that can walk you through it and help

00:06:46.020 you assure you that you're on the right path. And so, you know, to me, the comedy, yes, the path

00:06:52.940 you're going and then pivot when you probably shouldn't be pivoting and vice versa. Yeah. So the

00:06:58.740 confidence, here's the thing. My confidence was shot, you know, after going at, I'm like,

00:07:05.000 dude, is this, is it me? Do I have bad luck? Blah, blah, blah. And after talking to him,

00:07:10.340 he's like, no, you're ahead of the curve. Like you're doing things right. If you're getting into

00:07:14.340 elk and if you're, you know, all of these things that you're doing, you're ahead of most of the

00:07:18.520 guys that I know. And he explained to me, you know, it, it, it, he was able to tell me things

00:07:25.800 like he said, Hey, I have 15 friends of mine right now that are out elk hunting. He said, and all of

00:07:31.380 them that are on hunts that are like 20 to $30,000 hunts have been successful. And all of my other

00:07:39.180 friends who are on DIY hunts, not a single one of them has shot an elk yet. Yeah. And so, you know,

00:07:46.960 it was, all I had to do is hear that and that increased my confidence. Yeah. Does that make

00:07:53.920 sense? And clarity through your coach lets you know that you're on the path and thus your confidence

00:07:59.040 goes up. Yes. But we couldn't just have the conversation without me being out there and

00:08:04.620 having the experience for me to connect the dots. So you need both. Yeah. I liked, I liked that.

00:08:11.620 I was listening to Andrew Huberman just like the last week. And I think, I don't know if this episode

00:08:17.300 has dropped from him yet, but he did like a little bit of a teaser video around it. And in that video,

00:08:24.320 he talks about how obviously a growth mindset is critical from building up competence and increasing

00:08:32.000 skillset. But when coupled with stress is an enhancer mindset, AKA that it's only through stress

00:08:41.480 that we actually grow as well in conjunction with the growth mindset increases performance increases

00:08:49.940 drastically. And that's kind of what I heard translation of what you said. The hump was

00:08:55.300 successful. Why? Because you understand that the stress and the frustration and the difficulty that

00:09:02.340 you went through is part of the growth process. And it's ironic. I was talking about with someone

00:09:08.640 about this last week, last week, how as humans, we seek comfort in all things. It's always like,

00:09:15.880 if anyone said, Oh, paint the picture, perfect life. It doesn't include stress,

00:09:20.380 but yet it is the way of growth, but, but we all try to avoid it. And so I think the clarity of the

00:09:30.640 idea that, Hey, for me to get good at jujitsu, I can't watch jujitsu. I can't watch YouTube videos

00:09:35.620 alone. Ultimately in the end, I need mat time. Yeah. And when I get discouraged because I just got my

00:09:43.120 butt handed to me over and over again on the mat, I have to remind myself that is through the reps

00:09:49.600 and the stressful process that it, that it connects. And he talks about this, which I thought

00:09:55.560 was profound is through the stress, it prepares the brain to receive knowledge and learning and rewiring

00:10:05.600 of synapses. The stress is almost required for the chains to stick. It's not in comfort that we

00:10:15.420 actually evolve and change. And, you know, you know how humor man is, he gets all like nerds out,

00:10:20.440 right on the whole chemical side of things. But I think I just find it fascinating that we need to put

00:10:25.480 ourselves in difficult circumstances to be able to learn. And that's, he actually says that in the

00:10:32.620 question, you know, what's, how do we, how does this concept apply to our daily tasks? And I think

00:10:37.720 that's the key is your daily tasks need to include practice in whatever it is. Too many people, their

00:10:43.500 daily tasks are studying whatever it is or gaining knowledge on whatever it is, or, you know, but it's,

00:10:50.680 it's the actual practice. And then the reps of doing, um, most of your most significant practice,

00:10:57.840 practice, unfortunately, is going to become, is going to be in hands on, you know, and, and, you know,

00:11:04.680 if you're in sales, it's going to be in front of clients, you learn how to sell by being in front of

00:11:09.200 more clients more than going to sales seminars, right? You'll learn techniques, just like watching the

00:11:15.200 YouTube videos for jujitsu, you might learn a technique, or you might learn a different way of doing

00:11:20.260 something. But until you're on the, on the mats with somebody, um, you're not going to feel what

00:11:29.260 works and what doesn't. Well, and this is why people, you know, we, we go through the educational

00:11:36.400 system, we go to school, we go to university, and then, and then we come into the workplace and then

00:11:42.500 we think, oh, employee development, or, oh, I need to go to that seminar, Sean. Oh, I need to go to

00:11:48.520 these things. And don't get me wrong. They have their benefits, but it's the 70, what are they

00:11:54.400 called? The 70, 20, 10 rule, 70% of skill increase is actually on the job. It is actually in the reps.

00:12:02.860 20% is informal conversations and just processing things. And only 10% is from a formal lecturing

00:12:11.520 perspective. 10, that's it. So man, it's, this is about grinding, getting the reps in and, and

00:12:21.460 realizing it's okay because, because that's the other part, right? You don't want to beat yourself

00:12:25.860 up back to your point. You can get the reps in, but if you walk away, coming back from this hunt,

00:12:30.540 like down and out and like, oh my gosh, you know, what did I do wrong or whatever. And that's where the

00:12:35.280 coaching comes in because you're like, oh, right, no, I'm on path. I'm doing what I should be doing.

00:12:39.980 I'm okay. This is just, I'm going in the right direction. I need to continue those reps. And

00:12:44.460 that's where those coaching coaches become critical to us, I think. And that's where the confidence

00:12:49.160 comes from because you, it's, it's kind of like baseball, right? If you look at baseball and

00:12:54.220 the numbers are so low to make it into the hall of fame. I mean, you're failing 70% of the time

00:13:00.240 and you can make it into the hall of fame as a hitter. And so if you know those numbers,

00:13:05.600 then all the strikeouts, all the unsuccessful at bats are, are, they don't break your confidence

00:13:13.440 as much understanding that, but you're not going to get it without doing.

00:13:20.140 Yeah. Yeah. And we could even talk about like, this is where comparison is dangerous and everything

00:13:25.520 else, right? Because we're, we're not understanding all the reps that people are putting in.

00:13:29.100 That's some good stuff. All right. Steve Marshall. I'm a man who likes solitude. I grew up in the

00:13:35.060 woods and I lived there for most of my life. I also travel for work. One of my biggest issues is

00:13:39.600 how do you balance out your alone time in a relationship or marriage? In my relationships,

00:13:45.260 most of the women I've dated don't understand when I tell them I need alone time. They immediately

00:13:51.100 think I'm up to something scandalous. Well, so it sounds like he's not married. And so I think that

00:14:03.720 is just going to come in time with finding the right woman. It's and not sneaking around. I think a lot of

00:14:13.620 men, we don't know we're doing it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We don't know we're doing it, but we tend to sneak

00:14:19.780 around because you kind of quote unquote, know what they're going to say. If you ask to go do,

00:14:27.460 you know, whatever it is that you want to go do on your own. So you just go bell out instead. Yeah.

00:14:32.240 Yeah. And so the more open your communication is with what you're doing, then they should be less

00:14:39.060 suspicious. You know, now if you are communicating well and it's obvious and, you know, where you're at

00:14:45.740 is clear and they still suspect you, then that's on them. Right. But if they are thinking that way,

00:14:55.360 most likely it's a lack of communication on your end. That's my thought from the hip. What do you

00:15:02.100 think there? Same, same. And you do you, right, Steve? Like, don't be a nice guy here and go like,

00:15:09.120 this is really important to me. And it's like, oh, well, I'm going to have to. No,

00:15:12.580 like this isn't. If it's important, you need your alone time. I agree. Just communicate up front,

00:15:17.700 make sure that they're aware and explain, express yourself. Why? Why, Steve, why is this important to

00:15:24.240 you? And how is it going to benefit her? You know, when I have my alone time, I'm able to clarify some

00:15:31.380 things. I reduce some stress. This is important to me. Communicate those things, right? Don't make

00:15:36.200 all these assumptions that they understand you. So just communicate up front and then wait for the

00:15:41.500 woman that, that it works out. Okay. I mean, cause some of that I immediately too, like you don't

00:15:47.240 want these relationships that are instantly jumping to scandalous, whatever, like you're not around,

00:15:52.360 that's not a good sign. Right. And it's also not a good sign if you're in a relationship with a woman

00:15:56.920 that's like absolutely needs you around at all times for her to feel fulfilled and happy. So,

00:16:01.660 you know, maybe your alone time issue is really a benefit as a, as a way of kind of filtering out

00:16:07.420 some potential relationships that may not work for you. You know, it's, and in saying that you, you

00:16:15.660 kind of, I think everybody wants to have their cake and eat it too, in a sense that we're looking for

00:16:20.580 the perfect woman, quote unquote, which doesn't exist. So there's always going to be some give

00:16:26.620 and take, but on the front end, especially when you're dating, there's, there are certain deal

00:16:32.760 breakers, right? There's red flags. And I was just talking to a friend who, he just broke up with a,

00:16:38.220 with a girlfriend, with a woman he was seeing. And, and he was telling me that when they broke it off,

00:16:43.480 he almost felt relieved. You know, I'm like, well, that's an obvious flag that, you know, it wasn't

00:16:50.020 right. But if, but if we're feeling that tension in that sense of, you know, as we're dating somebody,

00:16:58.000 you know, then that should be pretty clear. If you are being upfront, you're saying, Hey,

00:17:02.400 I need this alone time and whatever, and there's still stress. There's, I mean, then that's a good

00:17:08.800 sign that you'd probably break it off earlier is better, you know, and, but it's easy also to get,

00:17:13.720 if everything else is comfortable or, you know, you like all these other things, you have to look at

00:17:20.340 that. How important is your alone time? How important is that to you? Is that the deal breaker,

00:17:25.820 you know, and, and, and if so, you know, the earlier, the better. And if not,

00:17:32.460 if it's something that that's where you can do the give and take, right. Then, then maybe

00:17:39.540 you have to, but that's up to you to decide. But I think most of it, like you said, is the

00:17:45.580 communication is the key. One thing for sure. Anything difficult now while dating is not going

00:17:50.340 to get easier after you get married. So, no, it's only going to get more difficult for sure.

00:17:58.100 You know, but that's why I say, that's why I prefaced it though, with the, you know, everyone

00:18:02.760 has their, there's no perfect scenario, man. Anybody who says, Oh, I met so-and-so and it's

00:18:07.440 just been perfect. Like they're lying in some capacity. Like everything's hard. Every relationship

00:18:12.160 is hard. Every, you know, every dynamic is difficult. So it, you know, it's never going

00:18:19.460 to be perfect, but you can get most of the things that you're looking for. Yeah. All right. Stacey

00:18:24.840 Bauer, how do, how to manage the new wife and stepkids, not new, actually just not the mother

00:18:32.340 of my son. It's our last kid in the house. My kid getting him to college, but also trying to keep

00:18:39.240 her happy. How do you manage the both sides? All right. I got to read that again.

00:18:46.320 It's it, that one's confusing to me because it, it almost sounds like he had a kid before

00:18:51.940 getting married to a stepkids, but then he's saying the last kid is his kid. So it almost

00:18:57.000 seems like backwards in a sense. Yeah. It's our last kid in the house and it's his kid trying to

00:19:03.540 get him off to college. And he said a new wife, right? So, so maybe the stepkids are older kids.

00:19:11.200 He has an older kid and he has a new wife. How do I manage? How do you manage both sides of that?

00:19:19.340 Hmm. You know, all right, Stacey, next time, Ben, you got to give us some more, like where's the

00:19:24.780 struggle at? Right. Because like the first thing that crosses my mind here is manage both sides.

00:19:28.660 What do you mean? You have any hats we all wear. How do I manage boss, employee, husband, father,

00:19:36.700 son, friend, right? Like we're all managing a lot of sides. So what's, where's the conflict at,

00:19:44.780 right? What's the issue? Yeah. We definitely need a little more context. And again, it comes down to

00:19:54.060 communication, communication, planning, scheduling. If you're managing anything, I'm just going to deal

00:20:00.540 with the question. How do you manage both? It's you plan everything in so that you make it work by

00:20:06.140 scheduling, planning, communicating who needs what, who needs to be aware, what, you know,

00:20:13.380 needs to be handled in your household, regardless of what it is. You know, just increased communication,

00:20:20.740 planning, scheduling. That's, that's where my brain goes anyways. Totally. Well, and part of me

00:20:26.980 hears this too. Maybe there's a lack of alignment, right? Well, this is my kid. I'm trying to get him

00:20:32.840 off to college, but I have my wife and her kids. No, no, no, that doesn't work. You're a teen. You got

00:20:39.200 married. So now your kid and him going off to college is her responsibility as much as it is yours. And her

00:20:46.820 stepkids is your responsibility as much as her. So make sure that you guys are not, it's not the

00:20:52.940 right term, but like kind of dividing and conquering, but to the extent of like, that's not my

00:20:57.940 responsibility. That's dangerous. Don't, don't do that. So get on the same page. If you need to

00:21:03.880 communicate to her what you're stressed out about, let her know and, and come up with a plan, enroll her

00:21:09.680 in what you're trying to do and do the same thing. Hey, you know, honey, your stepkids, what,

00:21:15.860 what's our game plan here? What do we need to improve as a, as a, as a parenting unit to show

00:21:21.380 up more powerfully for our kids? You guys got to make sure that you're aligned. I don't know if

00:21:25.760 that's in here, but there's a, a sense of that as part of this. So make sure that you guys have

00:21:31.540 some alignment as well. Yeah. Nothing to add. I just think there needs to be a little more

00:21:37.280 clarity in that, in that question. All right. John Preston, how do you approach the topic of death

00:21:43.640 with someone whose health is extremely poor? My father currently has stage four prostate cancer

00:21:50.860 and was also diagnosed with bladder cancer this week. We've had several conversations about his

00:21:56.780 health, but his concerns are more focused on his wife who is dealing with some esophageal,

00:22:03.780 esophageal cancer and is currently on chemo. It seems like my father spends most of his energy

00:22:10.660 and attention on his wife rather than focus on himself. I don't know how much longer I have with

00:22:16.840 him. Um, now before I turn it over to you, Sean, there's some parallels that we see in all areas

00:22:23.920 of life, right? This idea of he's spending more attention in the energy and intention on his wife

00:22:30.020 than on his own health. I think this is for everybody listening. This is a transcendent

00:22:36.100 question, regardless of, you know, the more extreme example that John's giving, you know,

00:22:43.240 it's, I dealt with this with my mom when she was going through her cancer situation. It was

00:22:50.320 so difficult watching her struggle, watching her suffer. I mean, literally suffer. She had a big

00:22:58.380 hole in her face. It was, it was, it was awful to watch. And then all of the, you know, looking back,

00:23:07.360 I talked to my sister about it because there's things that we thought she should have done maybe,

00:23:12.660 you know, or could have done earlier, um, that ironically she didn't want to do because she

00:23:18.280 didn't want to affect the way her face looked and everything else. And then, you know, ironically,

00:23:23.280 it got really bad anyways. And so in hindsight, we could say, yeah, man, we told her to do this or

00:23:28.640 we wanted her to do this, but at the end of the day, it was still her choice. You know, she,

00:23:34.300 she, we couldn't be the ones to make the choice for her. It, she had to go with her gut and what

00:23:40.340 felt right. And with things like cancer, you just never know anyways, right? We all know people who've

00:23:45.680 been diagnosed with stage four and overcome it. And we know people that have been diagnosed with stage

00:23:50.500 four and two weeks later, they're gone. And so I think personally, I, the focus for you,

00:23:57.920 instead of trying to get your dad to focus on himself, you know, especially with his wife going

00:24:04.640 through, you know, what she is. And I'm saying, I'm assuming that's a step-mom because he didn't

00:24:08.640 say his mom, right? He said his wife. Um, it is that in his life is the most important thing to him.

00:24:15.820 And so what I would say is you support that and love him and any feelings you have, any things you

00:24:26.020 want to say, um, any conversations you feel like could be missed if he passes, I would take action

00:24:34.500 in starting to have those right away and being around or with, or in conversation with him as

00:24:40.120 much as you possibly can. And instead of the focus being on what you think he should do,

00:24:45.520 just have real conversations about, you know, how you love him, what you learned from him,

00:24:52.320 how you support, you know, him and, and, uh, do it that way, honestly. Um, because if you think you

00:25:01.360 have less time, I think our biggest regrets coming, come in saying, I wish I would have said dot,

00:25:08.380 dot, dot, dot, you know, or, or it's, uh, you know, I don't know. That's, that's my thoughts.

00:25:15.120 What, what are you thinking there with that? I've had several conversations. Awesome. You brought

00:25:21.220 them up. Now let it go. Like, it's not surprising, right? On this podcast that we would ever say like,

00:25:28.880 oh, I'm trying to change someone. And our answer is always going to be, yeah, good luck with that.

00:25:33.380 Let us know how that turns out. Cause it doesn't work, right? We don't change people. We don't

00:25:39.600 course people. We, we, we know, and we promote this idea that it's through agency and freedom of

00:25:47.080 choice that people have the greatest growth and opportunity in their life. He's making a conscious

00:25:52.280 choice. His wife's more important than his health. Not surprising. I'm not sure if I'd choose any

00:25:57.980 different. Would you Sean? Right? Like, no, there's a point where like, yeah, you're, you're going to

00:26:03.480 choose certain things. Right. And maybe he's more tentative or more present to his mortality more

00:26:10.240 than anything else. And guess what? It's not that important. And, and you've done your part of,

00:26:15.740 Hey dad, this is important. You know, I think you should be concerned about his health. Check.

00:26:20.020 Awesome. Duly noted. Now stop, stop using that against him. If you are, and, and just supporting

00:26:28.940 with what is most important and what's the most important is his wife. So how do you help him

00:26:34.640 there? And I totally get it. Obviously he loves his dad and he doesn't want to lose him. And so

00:26:41.420 that's the underlying thing that with that emotion where that's what guys do. We just try and fix

00:26:48.340 everything. Right. Like dad, you should do this, but you know, I think focus the energy towards

00:26:55.140 making sure you have no regrets and expressing your, your feelings and, and gratitude for him and,

00:27:05.700 and who he is. Now you have the time in the spirit of dad's situation. If dad was listening to the

00:27:12.680 podcast, then we would also be saying, Hey dad, you can show up more powerfully for your wife

00:27:19.720 when we're healthy. Yes. And so that's, that's the lesson for all of us is be careful that we

00:27:27.560 don't use excuses for taking care of ourselves and going, Oh, well, you know what? It's, it's all

00:27:33.880 about the family and it's all about these other things and, and, and be ignorant to the idea that

00:27:39.380 some of the best ways that we can show up for our family, for our wives, for our kids is by taking

00:27:45.020 care of our health, by having the energy necessary to, to give our energy to them. And if we're spent

00:27:53.680 because our, our bodies are out of shape, if we're not taking care of our minds and everything,

00:27:59.620 then all our energy is wasted at work. And then what is our families getting the leftovers,

00:28:05.460 the complete leftovers. And I, by the way, Sean, there's a little bit of a tangent, but like,

00:28:10.720 I like that distinction, this energy. I really liked that. Like I've always,

00:28:15.400 I've always been like, Oh, show up at work strong, show up at home strong, do all these things

00:28:21.240 to the full fullness, but it's almost kind of energy management. I only have so much energy in the day.

00:28:29.100 And so the question you have to be asking yourself is where are you,

00:28:32.360 where are you giving that energy to, or what are you giving that energy to? And is it being

00:28:38.320 distributed appropriately or are, is your wife and kids getting the leftovers or virtually nothing

00:28:44.200 from you by the time you get home? And that energy could be where you're spending it, but it's also

00:28:49.840 about how we're taking care of our bodies so we can serve and give them the necessary energy or the

00:28:56.120 energy that they deserve. I like it. Okay. Anything else for the dad?

00:29:02.860 No, I mean, I would say if they haven't, and especially in this situation, you know, if it,

00:29:10.160 like I said, it sounds like a step-mom also, also be willing to have the conversation with him that if

00:29:16.980 let's say he does pass and she doesn't, or he does before her or whatever, that you have the

00:29:24.440 conversation with him asking whether or not his financial affairs are in order and whether he

00:29:31.920 has things set up, whether it's a trust or something like that, that's going to do what

00:29:35.860 he wants with his estate accordingly. Because, you know, in any, I mean, that's important in any

00:29:43.260 family, but especially in a, in a split family that, you know, there may be some things that he

00:29:49.980 wants with his kids. I don't know if she has kids, right. And, and different things there that

00:29:54.680 assets wise, you just, it's going to be an uncomfortable and awkward conversation if you

00:30:00.940 haven't had it before. But I think that would be an important thing to bring up as well, just to make

00:30:05.580 sure that anything that he wants, that he's probably not thinking about right in these moments is carried

00:30:13.060 out correctly and accordingly. And that's going to give him reduced stress, right? Actually having

00:30:20.440 that conversation and kind of processing that and, and, and dealing with what is so. So I think that's

00:30:26.640 spot on and, and time flies, man. Like you'll think you have time. You'll, you'll be like, Oh, he is,

00:30:32.480 his health is good. And then it could be two day difference. And all of a sudden there's that

00:30:38.280 conversation is lost. I mean, my dad, my dad literally just went into the hospital just to

00:30:44.000 like get checked in on. And within a week, it was like drastic difference, right? Like there was

00:30:50.500 no, there's no consistent, strong, powerful conversation. It was done. Like the window was

00:30:56.000 closed, you know, and you just don't know how quick that's going to go. All right, Jamie, uh,

00:31:02.980 hackneyed. How should I, you know what, real quick, real quick. Sorry. Sorry. I just had one

00:31:09.900 thing for some guys, we can't bring up the conversation. And I did, I saw this with my

00:31:16.680 brother and sister. I talked to my mom all the time. Um, and sorry to jump back into this question,

00:31:22.360 but this is, this is something I found very powerful and helpful. I, I found my wife found

00:31:29.920 this book basically that you can write to a loved one, like all the memories, things you love about

00:31:35.360 them, appreciate them. I literally filled out this notebook, wrote out my favorite memories growing

00:31:40.600 up, things I learned from her, things I appreciate about her, found a book that said, you know,

00:31:46.480 when this happened, dot, dot, dot, you know, when I was a kid, I remember most about you, dot, dot,

00:31:51.900 dot. And it's kind of like the memories that you have of loved ones that you want to, um, tell them,

00:31:58.840 but you just like to have the conversation is hard for you. So sometimes it's easier for people

00:32:03.960 to write it down. So do that, you know, and I don't know if he has siblings, but I can tell you

00:32:08.860 this, I did it and I wrote it out and gave it to my mom and she read it and loved it and appreciated

00:32:14.380 it. But I also, um, gave one to my brother and one to my sister to do, and neither one of them did it

00:32:21.500 and both of them regret it. Yeah. And they, they had, they had literally like a year

00:32:28.780 to get it done and never did it and kept thinking like, Oh yeah, I'll get to that. Oh yeah. I'll get

00:32:35.760 to that. You know? And I even reminded them, Hey, did you fill that thing out for mom yet? Did you

00:32:39.300 do that thing for mom yet? Yeah. I'm going to do it. And none of them did it, you know, neither one

00:32:44.520 of them. And it's one of their big regrets they have is like, dang it. You know, why didn't I,

00:32:49.120 why didn't I fill that thing out? Why didn't, so whatever the communication is, the point is like,

00:32:54.600 just don't put it off, make sure you get it done and, and make sure you have no regrets when it's

00:33:00.240 done. Sorry to jump back in. No, it's okay. Yeah. And follow your heart. You know, if your heart's

00:33:06.260 telling you to do something, just do it. Even if it doesn't logically make sense. You know, I, um,

00:33:12.760 my, one of my last personal visits with my dad, so his, it was kind of is, is,

00:33:19.120 interesting. His cognitive abilities were going away. So I like go in there like, Hey dad,

00:33:27.580 how you doing? And he's like, good, good. I'm like, so, you know, how was today? And then like

00:33:32.600 mid sentence, he's just like staring off in wonderland. Stop talking to me. Yeah. And I'd

00:33:38.580 sat, sat there for about like an hour. And then all of a sudden he's like, Oh, do you drive all the

00:33:42.920 way down from salt Lake? I'm like, Oh yeah. Yeah. And I start talking to him. Then all of a sudden

00:33:46.880 he's checked out. I'm like, Oh man. So it's almost like I have these little windows. And, um,

00:33:54.340 so what, when he was sitting there, I was like, man, I got to go, you know, after I was there for

00:33:59.880 a few hours. And, um, the, the thought crossed my mind. I'm like, man, I should, I should give my dad,

00:34:05.620 I should give my dad a blessing. And, and the counter to that was what he's not going to understand.

00:34:11.260 He won't want it. Yeah. He won't want it. He doesn't know. Right. Like I had all these things,

00:34:16.640 but my heart was saying, what, give your dad a blessing. And so sometimes we have to be

00:34:22.940 unreasonable, right? It's like, well, that doesn't make sense. Well, who gives a crap if it makes

00:34:26.540 sense, right? If your heart's telling you to do something, then do it. And, and, and, and it was one

00:34:32.000 of my, one of the, my non regrets, one of the things that I didn't want to do because I didn't think

00:34:38.860 it'd be valuable. And, and so I gave my dad a blessing. And what is that? Right. Him hearing

00:34:43.920 me do what express my love and appreciation and affection for him, pleading to God for him.

00:34:51.980 And, and ironically enough, when I ended that blessing, sorry, he was like, he, he said,

00:34:59.560 amen and said, thank you. Right. And so I was like, so he heard. So geez, I don't think I've ever

00:35:06.860 cried on the podcast. So that's all. Well, I'm glad we got there because that shows how

00:35:12.880 important this is. Yeah. It's not, it's not something to take lightly and it's more important

00:35:19.680 than you wanting him to be healthy. Yeah, totally. All right. In a more serious note,

00:35:27.440 Jamie's curious. How should I approach a woman at the gym that I'm interested in, Sean?

00:35:33.000 Dude, I have, I have no idea. The hard part is at the gym, they get hit up all the time.

00:35:41.460 I mean, we watch it happen. Right. And it's, it's never not awkward. So honestly, I think

00:35:48.620 maybe your, your best bet is just starting some sort of conversation of like, Hey, you know,

00:35:56.640 I see you in here a lot. And, um, what a crappy place to hit up on. It's the, dude, it's the worst,

00:36:03.600 it's the worst place. It really is the worst place. And, but if it's the only place you see them

00:36:10.500 say, Hey, you know, I see you in here a bunch. I know this is the worst place to approach somebody,

00:36:17.480 you know, to, and I don't know if you have a boyfriend, if you're in a relationship or not,

00:36:23.020 um, would you be interested in maybe getting coffee or something? That's the only thing that

00:36:28.080 I could think of. Honestly, I think it's a hard dude, because it's, if we were to pick the top

00:36:34.340 three worst places to try and like meet somebody that's, that's top three worst right there.

00:36:41.620 Well, and I'm an old, I've been out of the game too long. I don't even know what I'm going to say.

00:36:46.800 I, I, how's this? I mean, I am Americans were good at this and I'm realizing this is a little

00:36:52.820 bit more of an American thing than like European, but even the small chit chat, you know, like,

00:36:59.360 Hey, have a great workout. Like eventually, especially if you're consistent, you know,

00:37:04.840 each other, right? Like there's, it's kind of like an unspoken relationship is being formed

00:37:09.380 because you see each other and you can make small talk a little bit like, Oh, what do you got today?

00:37:15.140 You got legs, you know, or whatever. And, and slowly have those conversations, but God, man,

00:37:22.140 that's gotta be the worst scenario to try to like, let someone know that you're interested in them.

00:37:27.060 Yeah. Even if it's awkward, like, here's the thing. I think that's a good point. If you see

00:37:31.100 them all the time, just first thing, maybe say, Hey, you know what? I see you in here all the time.

00:37:37.460 My name's, you know, Jamie, what's your name? You know, and, and just start there, right? Shake her hand.

00:37:45.140 And be like, okay, cool. Now, when I see you, it's not like this awkward, like, you know, lady I see

00:37:50.900 in the gym. Now I can say, Hey, what's up, Sarah, you know, and, and whatever, and just leave it at

00:37:57.440 that, right? Like that could be your whole opening conversation. Who knows if that leads into more

00:38:02.060 conversation or not. Um, but then next time you see her, you know, then you can be like, Hey, Sarah,

00:38:07.960 how are you doing today? You know, and have a good workout or whatever. And I think that's sound

00:38:13.660 advice, right? What you don't want, just don't be the creepy dude. That's like, I don't know.

00:38:21.160 Like, don't say, Hey, can I, can I spot you on your squats? You know what I mean?

00:38:26.240 Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, uh, I don't know. Yeah. Good luck. Dude, Jamie, don't ask us.

00:38:33.300 We don't know. Maybe we have no idea on the market. So maybe he's, he has better insights nowadays,

00:38:38.760 but I think he's using online stuff more, right? That's yeah. I don't know, man.

00:38:44.860 We're tank tops more to the gym, Jamie and, and yell out your reps, you know? And so if you're

00:38:50.440 doing like 15 reps, like go, like go 10 quiet. And then the last five, you'd go like 30, 31,

00:38:59.960 you know, and just like breathe really hard. That's what I'd go for. You know?

00:39:04.180 No, it's the, when you're on 15, you're like 132, 133.

00:39:09.940 Yeah. Cut off jean shorts. So your thighs are showing. Dude, just go all out. See how it goes.

00:39:19.860 Good luck. All right. Craig Miller. How do you motivate others to be invested in their work?

00:39:25.880 A couple of people I managed don't seem to be meeting their full potential. Their work is sloppy

00:39:31.240 and rushed. I've asked for feedback if they are too busy and provided them the corrections to their

00:39:36.520 work in order to create a clear standard question. Good question. Yeah. I mean, you would be better

00:39:44.920 suited to answer this because most of the coaching and that I'm doing is with entrepreneurs. And so

00:39:49.960 they're, you know, here's the thing though. They're really not. You'd be surprised whether

00:39:56.160 they're employees or wants this employee to have your entrepreneurial mindset, right? But

00:40:02.100 I think there's some correlation there. Most people, regardless of what you're doing,

00:40:08.040 whether employees or entrepreneurs, honestly, don't meet their full potential. They don't put

00:40:14.720 in the effort. They don't get invested in their work. They don't take ownership of it. They don't

00:40:20.980 try to be their best. And a lot of it is habits. And so I think

00:40:25.000 the biggest key I could say is start recognizing them for what they are doing right. And like preface

00:40:35.900 every conversation with what they're doing right and what they're doing well. And then, and then get

00:40:42.180 in the conversation of what you'd like to see them do more of. And then if there's other people in your

00:40:47.180 office that are doing those things that you'd like them to be doing more of, you praise those people

00:40:54.180 in front of everybody, you know, and, and make sure that people are seeing you recognize for the

00:40:59.960 things that you want them to do more of. Not to say that they'll even start doing it, but that's,

00:41:05.800 that's one good thing that, that does help in that, you know, and like I said, you, you see this more

00:41:11.700 from an employee standpoint, Kip, what's, what's your experience there? Yeah. So, so there's a,

00:41:17.120 there's a couple and I'll try not to like, this could, I could nerd out on this, right? Probably too

00:41:21.640 long. So I'll try to make this quick. So Greg, make sure that your mindset is clear. And this is,

00:41:28.440 this is the suggestion that I would say to anybody that's leading people. Your job as a leader is to

00:41:36.880 clarify expectations of what is winning. Be super clear at what winning is. And we invite people

00:41:44.780 to make that commitment. That's it. So then the question then is why aren't they meeting

00:41:51.460 expectation? And your job is to determine what it is and support them in meeting those expectations.

00:41:57.540 Now, with that said, we want them fully committed and engaged on what we're about and what winning

00:42:06.240 is. They got to be, they, they got to be fully committed. And so you might say, well, Kip,

00:42:10.540 what does it fully committed look like? They take ownership. They're enthusiastic. They're

00:42:15.060 positive. They're excited. They're bringing their heart and their soul to the table, not just their

00:42:20.640 work, right? Like that's the kind of mindset you want, but we got to be really clear. Most leaders

00:42:27.120 fail in this space because they're not clear in communicating the expectation, right? And we

00:42:33.140 micromanage the behavior and the action and not the results. So for instance, what's the actions and

00:42:39.680 behaviors? Things getting done. That's where I hear work is sloppy and rushed. Yep. I got it done.

00:42:45.240 I got it done. I got it done. Are we managing things getting done or are we managing the outcome of

00:42:51.700 those things getting done? And do they know what the outcome is? Are they bought into the outcome?

00:42:57.000 Do they understand why sloppy rush work, the impact of it? Or are we managing their behavior,

00:43:03.640 assuming that they see the strategic results of that? And we think that they'll make that connection

00:43:10.960 on their own. And then most importantly, do you know why it's sloppy and rushed? Are you overloading

00:43:17.360 what you've given them? Do they feel like it's impossible to do X amount of work? So they rush it

00:43:25.040 and it's sloppy because of that. We got to get really clear. One, what is winning? Two, why is

00:43:33.500 there a gap? And are they fully committed and engaged in executing that way? And if they are,

00:43:39.460 then guess what? It's back on us. All right. What am I not doing? Where are we out of alignment

00:43:45.240 where your work being sloppy and rushed is okay in your mind? Well, Kip, this is next to impossible.

00:43:51.540 You keep giving us all this stuff. I'm like running around with my head cut off. You have me on this

00:43:56.080 other project. It's taken away from the quality work. Okay. Got it. Right. So we got to get really

00:44:01.360 clear. And I don't think this is a, everything I've just said is not really a motivation thing.

00:44:07.920 This is actually clarity around expectations more than anything else. Now, if we were going to ask the

00:44:13.860 question just about how do you motivate and inspire people, here's your answer to those. You need to be

00:44:21.080 inspired. Are you walking around excited, enthusiastic about the work that you're doing?

00:44:27.320 If you're not, you're in zero position to inspire other people. So you got to be, you got to be on

00:44:32.160 that path first. Two, create a sense of team belonging and purpose. Are they clear their role

00:44:38.660 within the team and the bigger organization and what it means? And have you communicated it in a way

00:44:44.660 that they can get behind it and get excited about it? And then how's the relationships?

00:44:51.600 Here's the other rub. I had this call with actually someone in the iron council is a couple of years

00:44:57.340 ago. And he's like, Oh, my bad. It was a mentor. My battle team leader is not like making the necessary

00:45:02.580 pivots. I've told him what he needs to do and he's not correcting it and whatever. Okay. And I said,

00:45:07.060 are you in a position of influence with him? Yeah. I give him sound advice, blah, blah, blah. And I go,

00:45:12.440 how's his wife? How's his kids? Oh, I don't know. Then you're not in a position of influence.

00:45:19.460 The reality of it is if you are a leader, your people need to know that you genuinely care for

00:45:26.800 them and that you understand their challenges, their needs, and their desires. Otherwise,

00:45:32.740 all you are is you're managing their work and you're noise and frustrating. So you got to make

00:45:39.860 sure your people get that you actually genuinely care and you see them before you start going and

00:45:45.480 correcting them. Okay. I didn't go off too off tangent, but there's some stuff to consider there,

00:45:50.780 Greg. No, that was great. And then sometimes people just aren't going to be motivated. You know,

00:45:56.760 there's, there's, I tell people dealing with independent contractors and them trying to scale their

00:46:02.540 business, you know, and as they're recruiting. And I'm sure you see it in your business too.

00:46:07.800 You don't, you don't motivate people, quote unquote, as much as it's better to find motivated people.

00:46:15.560 Totally. And that's what I like about what I just said. Your job is to clarify what is winning.

00:46:20.880 And I say, Hey, Sean, what are you, are you down? This is how hard it's going to be. This is what's

00:46:26.180 expected. I'll support you in it, but you got to be all in. Are you all in? And you say yes.

00:46:30.420 And then two years later, Hey, are you still all in? No, I'm not. Then you don't belong here.

00:46:36.300 It's that simple, right? We deal with humans. We don't rob their agency and don't coerce and shame

00:46:42.360 people into performing. We invite them and we support them. Right. And if they're unwilling to

00:46:48.280 do the work and they're not committed to the idea that they don't belong. Yeah. And then you go find

00:46:54.200 a job with your competitor for them instead. I like it. Brett Huber. My wife recently told me

00:47:02.140 about some minor plastic surgery that she'd like to have done on her face. By default, I assured her

00:47:08.040 that she looks great and that I can't even see this thing that concerns her, even when she's pointed it

00:47:14.080 out to me. And he says, this is a hundred percent true. I feel like any surgery is an unnecessary risk

00:47:21.800 and expense, even if it's minor, but I regret my response. How should I have responded in order to

00:47:28.660 address her concern better, but not encourage the surgery? Basically, how do we validate feelings that

00:47:34.740 others have that we don't agree with? Good question. Ooh, that's a, that's a really good question.

00:47:41.340 And a hard one. I know I I've failed at this a bunch of times because I mean, here's the thing

00:47:47.760 when we're in a healthy relationship with our spouse, especially we're going to be attracted to

00:47:54.320 them. And it's, if we fall out of attraction, we tend to, if they have suggestions for themselves

00:48:05.300 to look better, we tend to be more on board. I think like, Oh yeah, heck yeah. Get that done. That's great.

00:48:13.720 You know? And, but, um, if you're already attracted to them and, and you feel like you're winning in that

00:48:19.720 area and you're perfectly fine with the way that they look, I think any change you're going to be reluctant

00:48:25.980 in. And so they, but they don't want to hear that. They just want to hear that you support. Like if

00:48:33.100 it's a, if it's a thing that's going to help them and their confidence, I think maybe the more important

00:48:38.860 thing is to have the conversation of how they're feeling about why they need to have that surgery

00:48:46.120 and, and how she feels when she looks at herself in the mirror. And, and if that really bothers her,

00:48:53.240 you know, then, then be supportive, you know, you can be supportive with the, you know, I, I,

00:49:01.720 that's awesome. And, and I hope it increases your confidence. I just want you to know, I, like,

00:49:07.400 if you're doing it because you think it bothers me or, or that that's a non-issue for me.

00:49:13.660 Yeah. I, man, I just love the way you look, everything about you there. Um, I had one not

00:49:23.180 as extreme with this, with my wife, she wanted to get Invisalign, you know, and, and her teeth were

00:49:28.320 crooked and, and, um, but I, I loved that they were crooked. I thought it was cute. Like I thought

00:49:35.120 it was one of her endearing things, like the way that they were crooked and stuff. And she,

00:49:39.500 she, she never liked it. You know, she was self-conscious about it and always wanted to

00:49:47.620 get them fixed. And, you know, I, I had to get to a place where she was literally getting mad,

00:49:54.400 like, well, I'm going to get this done. And I'm like, I finally just said, why am I fighting this?

00:50:01.700 You know, like to myself, I, this is something she feels strongly about. And instead I said,

00:50:07.780 awesome. You know, this is, that's great. You know, I, I'm going to honestly kind of miss

00:50:13.580 your little crooked teeth, but I'm, I love that it's important to you and whatever you need as far

00:50:23.040 as support, I'm behind you. And so, and I think that's, that's really what we're saying,

00:50:28.980 right? Like his ultimate question here is how should I have responded in, in order to address

00:50:33.880 her concern better. So it's called listening and just understanding it, right? Like, okay, I,

00:50:39.000 I understand. And I, I, I can have empathy in regards to how you feel. And then he says,

00:50:46.080 basically, how do I validate feelings that others have that we don't agree with? We don't like,

00:50:52.900 you can say, Hey, you can't validate it. I love your example, right? Like, Hey, this,

00:50:57.320 this is a non-issue for me, babe. Right. I think you look beautiful the way you are.

00:51:02.840 I don't personally see it. You know, and we might give a little bit of counsel, like,

00:51:08.720 I just want to make sure this is something that you're not going to regret. You know what I mean?

00:51:12.460 And we're not acting in the moment and whatever, but you're not going, you can't, if, if, if my

00:51:18.520 internal dialogue through the way I was raised, if my internal story is I'm unlovable, that doesn't

00:51:28.780 go away just because Sean goes, Oh, Kip, you are. Yeah. Or I love you, Kip. It helps, but it's still

00:51:35.620 my story. We're not, we're not going to help people deal with that. If anything, the strongest way that

00:51:42.660 we help people deal with that is to help them understand it's their story and that they're

00:51:48.140 aware of it, that that's a default way of seeing the world or seeing themselves. So they, they

00:51:54.460 realize that it's actually not the teeth that that's not these other things, but it's actually

00:51:59.220 a combination of defining moments when they're younger and all the, you know, so help them

00:52:03.780 understand it's a story and an interpretation, but, but the breakthrough of that, that it's not

00:52:10.260 for us to determine, you know, don't get me wrong. We don't just go, Oh, you're feeling

00:52:15.200 down about yourself, you know, deal with it. It's your story. It's like, no, we, we let

00:52:18.560 people know how we feel and we help them navigate those waters a little bit. But if that's how

00:52:23.740 they feel, that's how they feel, you know, and empathy and understanding is really all that

00:52:28.300 we can do. Yeah. The second part of that, Brett, I would say is don't look back to, don't

00:52:36.360 look at it at the circumstances. How should I have responded? I think that's a unhealthy

00:52:42.700 way to go about it because you already responded. And so don't worry about what you said, right?

00:52:49.880 Don't worry about what you're going to do next instead. It's you know, I think too many people

00:52:58.920 get caught up and well, I screwed that up. I mean, we're men, we're going to screw it up

00:53:02.820 most of the time, you know, with, uh, especially with our partners. And so instead be willing

00:53:11.520 to open up the conversation again and, and say, I'm sorry. And how I responded initially,

00:53:17.220 um, you know, I, maybe I wasn't sensitive, not don't even say, maybe say I wasn't sensitive

00:53:23.240 and, and how you were feeling, you know, can we have a comment? Like I responded incorrectly

00:53:28.420 or not clearly enough. And so let me provide clarity. Yeah. And can we have a conversation

00:53:33.960 about how you feel so I can support you appropriately? Totally. And, and just it's,

00:53:41.440 this is great, right? This is reps, right? This is like, oh man, me navigating water. You be naive

00:53:47.500 to this and just going, oh, it is what it is. That's what we don't want. Right. And so you're,

00:53:52.000 you're doing exactly the perfect thing, right? And we're going to make mistakes and we pivot and we

00:53:55.660 just, we provide clarity of communication. So the fact that you're even asking this question

00:54:01.260 and making sure that you handle it the most effective way possible is, is perfect. Right.

00:54:08.120 That's, that's part of life. All right, man. Should we wrap up? So key things, key takeaway,

00:54:14.340 iron council is open for the next week or so until this end of this month. If you're going to join us

00:54:20.280 in the iron council, go to order of man.com slash iron council to learn more as always,

00:54:25.360 connect with Mr. Mickler on Twitter and Instagram on X and Instagram at Ryan Mickler. And if you

00:54:33.020 haven't joined us on Facebook, join us there at facebook.com slash group slash order of man.

00:54:38.320 Any closing remarks, Sean? Nope. That's I, it's going to be the last time for this year to get in.

00:54:46.140 I would get in now. Don't wait till last minute to start trying to plan for next year.

00:54:51.060 Uh, get in now, get ahead of the curve. And, uh, I mean, the way I always feel about new year's

00:54:56.340 things, just imagine that if you had a three month headstart on your new year's plans.

00:55:01.640 So, so get on the path now. Don't wait.

00:55:04.020 With support.

00:55:05.220 With support. Yeah, totally. All right. Until Friday field notes, take action and become the

00:55:10.920 man you were meant to be.

00:55:12.400 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:55:16.760 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - September 20, 2023

The Confidence⧸Competence Loop, Approaching Women, and Motivating Others ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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