Order of Man - The Dichotomy Between Satisfaction and Ambition, Working Out at Home, and Prioritizing Jiu-Jitsu and Strength Training

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.700 you can call yourself a man. Sean, I almost said, Mr. Kip Sorensen, welcome to the podcast.

00:00:28.200 I was like, wait, I'm not talking to Kip today. He's way better looking than I am.

00:00:33.700 I'm talking to, as an inside joke, and at the risk of being racist and offending everybody,

00:00:38.820 I'm talking to my Mexican friend, Mr. Sean Villalobos. What's up, brother?

00:00:43.440 Yeah. You know, it's funny you say that. I actually tell people that. I've had guys get

00:00:48.600 pissed at me, thinking I was making fun of them. You're not making fun of them.

00:00:53.160 I'm like, no. That's your culture, bro. So tell me about that real quick.

00:00:57.140 So you have a lot of Mexican heritage in your lineage, in your blood. Tell me about that for a

00:01:02.700 second. Yeah. My great-grandparents came to the U.S. from Mexico. And so my grandpa was Mexican,

00:01:12.720 100. Both of his parents were Mexican. And so he was. And then my dad is half.

00:01:18.980 And so- Oh, really? Yeah.

00:01:20.300 Yeah. But the funny thing with my dad is both of his parents were deaf. So he never learned

00:01:25.760 Spanish. He remembers his grandma only speaking Spanish, but she died when he was like, I think

00:01:33.220 six or seven or something like that.

00:01:35.320 Before he lost his hearing?

00:01:38.080 Before. No, my dad remembers my grandma only speaking Spanish.

00:01:41.820 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said your grandfather. I just got a little confused there.

00:01:45.640 My grandpa was deaf. Got it. Okay. I'm tracking. So he only knew sign language. He got scarlet

00:01:52.200 fever when he was, I think eight years old and lost his hearing. And so, you know, him and my grandma

00:01:59.220 had similar situations in that way, but my dad grew up learning sign language. So he knows American

00:02:05.540 sign language and English, but he never learned to speak Spanish. So it totally skipped that generation.

00:02:11.760 So, so now I'm a wait. Oh, they call me. That was my nickname growing up. I grew up in a Hispanic

00:02:17.200 neighborhood. Do wait. Oh, what does that mean? Wait. Oh, it was like a, like a white Mexican.

00:02:22.160 Wait. Oh. Okay. Yeah. So what's the, what's the other side? So, I mean, obviously instead of

00:02:28.240 gringo, like gringos of white guy, right? Sure. And so wait, I was like a white Mexican.

00:02:33.940 Okay. So, but the, so then your mom's side of the family is what? European Irish. Okay. Yeah.

00:02:41.500 Yeah. Mainly Irish and American. You look like an Irish man. Yeah. I mean, look at you,

00:02:45.860 look at your beard. It's got a little red in there. Like you look like me, you and me could

00:02:49.300 be brothers, bro. And that's the Irish blood. That's right. Yeah. And I tell people all the

00:02:54.460 time, my running joke is I'm the only Irish Mexican you're ever going to meet that doesn't drink.

00:02:58.820 Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah. It's so interesting because like, we can't even,

00:03:05.180 we're going to get canceled for even talking about this. You know, who's not going to cancel us?

00:03:10.580 The Mexicans and Irish. Oh yeah. That's, that's the thing. It's like all my Mexican friends,

00:03:15.560 they don't care. You know, they don't care. They think it's funny. They laugh at it.

00:03:19.140 They have fun with it. It's like, it's, it's right. Yeah. Right. I mean, even think about that.

00:03:23.540 Like, so you say Mexican and people are like, Oh, that's offensive. It's like, no Mexican. It means

00:03:28.440 they're from Mexico. Like, that's not, there's nothing, there's nothing. That's not a negative

00:03:34.620 connotation. I don't, but, but you hear that and people are like, you said Mexican. It's like,

00:03:39.620 yeah, because they're from Mexico. Like, that's not a bad thing, but it's true. You know,

00:03:45.260 and there is crazy dude, because people hear anything in a derogatory way. And then they

00:03:50.380 automatically hear that word the same way consistently. And so whether it's meant that way or

00:03:56.360 not, my dad has that issue, actually, he, to this day to get him to say that he's Mexican is like

00:04:02.380 pulling his teeth out because the, where he grew up and in, in California and the San Fernando Valley

00:04:08.860 in the fifties and sixties. Um, I mean, his whole life growing up, he was called beaner and wet back

00:04:15.700 and, you know, all of the, all of the derogatory terms for Mexicans, he was called that his entire

00:04:21.540 upbringing. And so he, that obviously bothered him to the point where he started, he didn't hold

00:04:29.660 onto that heritage. Right. And he never learned Spanish or any of that. And so, and he wasn't

00:04:34.540 taught that heritage growing up by his parents because, you know, his dad wasn't a good communicator

00:04:39.280 and, and, um, and so that's, it really, all of the heritage part kind of skipped that generation

00:04:46.380 to the point where he's like a redneck trapped in a, in a Mexican guy's body. It's pretty hilarious.

00:04:52.100 So he has darker skin. Like you would think of the, uh, of, of somebody who is like from

00:04:56.580 like a hundred percent Mexican, he has darker skin. Oh yeah. He's obviously Mexican, black hair,

00:05:01.600 brown eyes, really dark. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. When we're together, people don't

00:05:06.480 like, they don't know or believe that he's my dad. Do they, so they think you're adopted.

00:05:11.680 I wouldn't say, I don't know when I was a kid, they probably did. Cause I had like toe head blonde

00:05:17.360 hair and yeah. Right. You know, and he's like taking me around and he had me every other weekend

00:05:23.000 kind of deal, you know? And so yeah, we'd always do fun things together. So people probably thought

00:05:28.480 that when they saw him, bro, I can't with me. Like I I'm, when I'm asking these questions, I'm

00:05:34.680 actually like, I'm genuinely curious about this stuff. And I can't even believe that in the back of my

00:05:40.320 mind, I'm like, this is a risky conversation. Yeah, it is. And I would think the same thing,

00:05:47.380 except that it's one of those things that needs to be talked about and a hundred percent, you know,

00:05:52.500 for all of the people that really are upset by it are the ones who are trying to prove they're not

00:05:58.060 racist in my opinion, because for me, it's like, I can have those conversations. I can say the things

00:06:04.320 that my dad was called and all that stuff, because we've had this, this conversation a hundred times

00:06:09.660 with me and him. And it really still to this day, bothers him to hear those words, to hear those

00:06:14.080 phrases, to all, even like you said, the word Mexican, because people would be like, Hey,

00:06:19.340 you Mexican, you know, MF or whatever it was to him. And so Mexican has become this derogatory term

00:06:27.160 to him where it shouldn't. It's not. I'm almost the one that's brought the heritage and the fact

00:06:33.640 that we're Mexican to where it's, we're comfortable talking about it in family situations. I was just,

00:06:38.900 we went camping with my, him and my brothers. We went out to the desert on dirt bike riding

00:06:43.440 and we're talking about it. And, and my one of my brothers is dating a girl that's Mexican

00:06:51.140 and they're teaching him all these Mexican recipes and all this stuff. And I'm like, man,

00:06:56.500 you had to like date a girl to learn all the Mexican recipes. We should have had that in our

00:07:02.500 family already for sure about it and whatever, you know, but yeah, I think it's all the people

00:07:08.120 that are trying to prove they're not racist that, you know, for us, it doesn't matter. Obviously

00:07:12.120 it's, it's become kind of a joking thing, but simultaneously there's strong points to that

00:07:18.980 heritage. It's, I know where we came from. I had to, I had to research it. My dad, if you asked him,

00:07:23.700 he probably wouldn't know what part of Mexico they came from. Um, and it's Aguas Calientes is where we

00:07:30.360 came from mostly. And I've done that research and gone back and done some of that. So it's fascinating.

00:07:36.020 And it's, it's also, it's empowering because you know, the sacrifice that people made when they went

00:07:44.100 through how they used to live, how it for generations we've been poor and, and, and no one's

00:07:50.920 ever had money. I'm, I'm really the first one. My dad is kind of really the first one to break that

00:07:55.360 because he's done well for himself in the sense that he's, uh, you know, he's semi-retired. He's

00:08:02.080 not too worried about money or any of that stuff. That's broken the chain for everyone. Cause

00:08:08.160 everyone's really been really poor in his family till him. Uh, and, uh, and then I've really broken

00:08:15.960 that chain. So it's been, it's an empowering thing if you just embrace it and understand it.

00:08:22.020 It's not enough. People are doing it that way. They're looking for, they're not talking

00:08:26.340 why it's bad. Yeah. Like they're so worried about like, Oh, maybe if I asked this question,

00:08:32.480 I might offend somebody. Well, you might actually, but like, so what, if you're genuinely curious,

00:08:36.980 then ask the fricking question. I think about it. Like, let's talk about in the context of just

00:08:43.300 beards or hair color for a minute. Can you imagine me looking at a guy who has brown hair,

00:08:50.900 black hair? And I'm like, Oh, that guy, like he's inferior because he has a black beard and I have

00:08:57.080 a red beard. Like that's a stupid, like such a stupid thing, you know? And then, but then we do

00:09:03.980 it. We're like, Oh, that guy's a little darker. Like he's inferior, or I'm going to think differently

00:09:08.820 of him because he's a little darker skin than I am. Like what a dumb thing. Or he doesn't have a

00:09:14.100 beard or he doesn't. Right. Yeah. And, but it just sounds so asinine. Like it doesn't even make

00:09:20.000 sense. And what I think about is I think more about the person, you know, is that like that

00:09:26.160 person, whether they're white or black or Brown or yellow, or like, and even saying yellow is bad

00:09:30.840 or red is bad. Right. Like whatever pigment of color they are, like they're either assholes or they're

00:09:36.600 not. And there's assholes in a, in a, in a, in an infinite spectrum of skin color. And there's

00:09:42.480 amazing people on an infinite spectrum of spit of skin color. But like, when I think about the Mexican

00:09:48.280 culture here, here's actually what I think about is I think about hard-ass workers, super family

00:09:55.900 oriented and devout spirituality. That's what I think. Like when I hear that, that you're Mexican. Oh,

00:10:06.600 so you love your family. You believe in God and you're a hard-ass worker. Like that, that's what

00:10:11.700 I, and I'm like, I actually want that more of, of my culture. Yeah. That's my stereotype. Right. Yeah.

00:10:17.940 Yeah. Yeah. Interesting, man. Yeah. And what's your, what's your cultural background then?

00:10:25.300 White. White. Is it European? European. It's, it's, it's primarily Irish, French, German,

00:10:34.120 and a little bit of Scottish mixed into it. But, but the product, cause I did the DNA stuff.

00:10:39.480 The predominant is, well, when I got it back, it just said, you're yeah, you're white. Like that's

00:10:46.200 it. Like it didn't even break it down. It said, you're white. Don't worry about it. No, it said,

00:10:50.200 it said primarily German from my father's side and a lot of Irish from my Irish and French from my

00:10:59.420 mother's side. Yeah. And that's interesting too, because you look at even the difference between

00:11:04.400 Irish and English is substantially different because the English came here, obviously on,

00:11:10.520 on ships and the Irish were brought here. Like they came over, but they were

00:11:14.800 not quite slaves, but close to it and helping build the railroads.

00:11:20.160 A second or third class citizen. Absolute lot of discrimination against the Irish.

00:11:24.680 Massive. Massive. Right. And it's them that built the railroad railroads. And, and so,

00:11:29.860 but I don't own that. A lot of that in my family too, super broke, poor, you know,

00:11:35.300 building the railroads and struggling that way. But I don't own that as mine. Right. Like I thought,

00:11:41.740 I think a lot of people latch onto the negative situations, the victim side. And I would say there's

00:11:48.000 a lot of victim classes, not just within the formation of our country, but literally all of humankind.

00:11:54.680 And, and, and people latch on the, onto the victimhood side of it. And I don't,

00:11:59.780 I don't try to latch onto any sort of victimhood mentality because of it. Like I try, you know,

00:12:05.940 like, like take, we'll go back to Mexican, for example, it was like, you, you could, you could

00:12:11.360 portray all these negative connotations and you can latch onto that. Or you could say, no, I think of

00:12:16.080 like the positive side of their culture. And, and that's as, as a, as a sovereign man, myself,

00:12:22.820 like I'm going to decide what parts of my, my own story and my ancestor story that I'm going to cling

00:12:31.020 onto, you know? So if you look at, and, and again, this is taboo, I know it's taboo, but I want to

00:12:36.780 talk about it. But if you look at black culture, uh, there's, there's a lot to be proud of.

00:12:44.400 Mostly. Of course. Mostly. And the only things that you would be maybe ashamed of is things that

00:12:52.100 I would think happened to your ancestors, not things that you brought upon yourself.

00:12:57.960 Well, I was going to say that too, that on the Irish side, at the end of all of it,

00:13:02.320 regardless of the circumstance they were in, they still made the choice to hop on those ships and

00:13:06.420 come over here. Right. And for Irish. Sure. Yeah. For better life for, for a chance. And that's the

00:13:13.120 difference between the slavery side and them is that even though the conditions weren't necessarily

00:13:17.640 better, they still made that choice. But for me, because they did, I have to be better. I have to,

00:13:23.420 I have to make it worth it for them, in my opinion, to take advantage of the things they sacrifice for.

00:13:30.640 Well, I, I, what the word I would use, and we actually talked about this weekend,

00:13:35.000 a man in cage is honor, right? I would, I would honor, I would choose to honor their sacrifice.

00:13:41.300 I would choose to honor their commitment in black culture, for example. And again, it's hard for me

00:13:45.620 to say, because obviously that's the furthest thing culturally from, from where I reside and what

00:13:50.280 I come from and what I've learned and what I've experienced. But I mean, there's a sense of pride

00:13:55.160 that should come from a culture that was enslaved, that fought for and, and secured their freedom,

00:14:05.600 and then went through the civil rights movement. And then you have this culture today that has

00:14:11.220 every, every opportunity and every right that any other American has. I feel like the best thing that

00:14:20.160 somebody could do that, that has that background would be to honor the sacrifice that their ancestors

00:14:26.240 went through with slavery and, and, and horrible atrocities that absolutely happened to these

00:14:31.400 people. So honor it and live it and take advantage of that sacrifice that they made.

00:14:37.260 The, the Jews are a good example of that. My best friend growing up was, was Yemenite Israeli

00:14:42.200 and their man culturally, like they, I mean, obviously with Passover and, and Yom Kippur, there's all

00:14:49.420 these, uh, um, you know, times that they have every single year that they remember that part of their

00:14:58.640 heritage and overcoming it and embrace it. And that's what makes them stronger, better. You know,

00:15:05.680 it it's all of those things that they embrace, like you're saying, they honor it. Um, but it's also

00:15:11.480 culturally deep rooted in them that it, because they overcame that they're stronger and better for

00:15:17.200 it. Right. Man, what a powerful way. Yeah. Come out, swing it out of the gates to start.

00:15:25.780 Everybody's going to be pissed. Like, like just like everybody, we just pissed off black people.

00:15:32.320 We pissed off Mexicans. We pissed off the Irish. Like we literally just pissed off everybody we

00:15:37.720 possibly could. And now that you're all pissed off guys and riled up here, we are the order of

00:15:42.720 men podcast. Glad to have you with them. Or they can go on ancestry.com and actually learn about what

00:15:48.940 they're there. The people before them, you know, their heritage went through and, and understand it

00:15:53.940 and be stronger through it. Yeah, for sure. For sure. All right. Well, okay. I'm really curious,

00:16:01.500 actually like very curious to see how the feedback goes on this podcast. We'll see. We'll see. But

00:16:08.020 look, this is the last thing I'll say. And then we got to drive on is like, these are the conversations

00:16:12.920 that we need to have. Okay. We need to talk about all the things that it was like, Hmm, not true.

00:16:18.700 Man, I can't believe you just said that. What do I know? These are the conversations that need to take

00:16:23.740 place. It's not going to become more comfortable if we don't start trying to have comfortable

00:16:29.120 conversations this way. Exactly. And you know, somebody might hear something we said and say,

00:16:33.600 well, that was racist or tripped over his words, or he shouldn't have said that. Right. Like, but you

00:16:39.180 know, at least we have the balls to like put ourselves out there. And you might say, Ryan,

00:16:43.340 you should be more sensitive to this thing. Okay. Well, like, tell me, show me, teach me.

00:16:48.340 But like, somebody has got to start somewhere. If we just run away and hide like little children,

00:16:52.280 prepubescent children, like we're never going to get better and improve, but somebody has got to start.

00:16:57.520 So I think the fact that we're willing to have these discussions is important.

00:17:01.900 All right, man. Well, cool. Let's get into some questions today.

00:17:05.620 All right. First question is from Ian Roth. He says, I'm 25,000 words into writing a book,

00:17:12.560 and I'm not sure what to do when I'm finished writing all the content. How do you recommend

00:17:16.840 deciding on self-publishing versus a publishing company? Which did you do for your two books? And

00:17:22.840 what would you change if you had to do it again? This is a very poignant question because obviously

00:17:29.560 I had the book coming out later this year and I have one that was self-published and this one coming

00:17:35.320 out is through traditional publishing. Obviously, Sean, you've got, you know, Jamie's book. They're

00:17:40.800 actually behind you there. So you've got, yeah, you've got happy and strong. You've got sovereignty.

00:17:45.500 So this was really good that he asked this and it's good that you're on the podcast. You can talk

00:17:49.000 about this. So I'll just give a broad overview with self-publishing versus the publishing arena.

00:17:56.820 And you can give me your, I want to hear yours too, because mine is probably different than yours.

00:18:01.140 I feel like with self-publishing, you obviously have a lot more control and autonomy over what you put

00:18:08.660 out and the direction of it, the design, the words that you share. And that's a really good positive

00:18:16.640 benefits to self-publishing. But some of the downside is you don't get some of the professionalism

00:18:21.720 because I had to hire my own editor and make sure everything was just lined out perfectly. And I had

00:18:27.500 to hire my own designer to design the book. And fortunately, I've always been very market-oriented,

00:18:33.840 marketing-oriented. So we put out a product that was good, that I think would have done very,

00:18:40.220 very well in the professional publishing space as well, because I thought about that.

00:18:45.560 I see a lot of self-help stuff, or excuse me, self-publishing stuff that they just don't think

00:18:50.180 about those things. And I think it's good enough just to write a book. It really isn't. The marketing

00:18:54.620 is an integral part of the entire process. So I like the self-publishing route. If you maybe don't have

00:19:04.360 an audience, you can't land a publishing deal, which is a very real possibility, or you don't really

00:19:13.660 know where to turn, maybe you don't have a platform, maybe you don't know how to get into these publishing

00:19:17.920 houses, then the self-publishing route is a very viable option. I think, man, I'm struggling today.

00:19:29.160 Goggins, David Goggins. Holy cow. I even forgot Goggins' name. David Goggins. I think he actually

00:19:34.640 self-published. Can't hurt me. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure he self-published that. He worked

00:19:40.860 with, I think he worked, I don't even want to say because I don't know if this is true, but I'm

00:19:45.580 pretty sure he self-published that. And obviously, tremendous success. I could be wrong. You guys

00:19:52.640 correct me if you will. I don't need to tell you that. Correct me if I'm wrong. Yeah. See while I'm

00:19:57.220 talking. But with the publishing world, I worked with a literary agent. So this is another component

00:20:05.280 of it. I had an agent, a literary agent who reached out to me and I hired them. I didn't, I didn't go

00:20:12.040 outreach. I didn't reach out to them. They reached out to me. I hired them to represent me. So what that

00:20:18.500 allowed me to do is that allowed me to focus on what I do with the podcast and what I'm doing with the

00:20:22.840 movement. And then they went out and they represented my book or my book proposal. And that's an

00:20:30.360 important, we'll talk about that in a second, my book proposal to the publishing houses. So we, and I

00:20:36.060 actually hired somebody to help me write a book proposal. And I want to say I spent about three

00:20:42.460 grand on the book proposal. So I had my own thoughts, my own ideas, my own thing that I wanted to write.

00:20:48.400 And through my literary agent, we hired an expert that would help with the proposal. And that was

00:20:55.460 very important because we're going to go out to these publishing houses. And I wanted them to look

00:21:00.500 at a professionally written drafted book proposal so that we could get the best pricing and best

00:21:07.760 opportunities for our book. So we took that book proposal. It wasn't the entire book, but we took that

00:21:13.620 book proposal and we submitted that to two, three dozen different publishers. And we had about three

00:21:21.620 that we kind of narrowed it down to. And we ended up working with Salem because they gave us the best

00:21:27.040 deal and the best opportunities for marketing and getting our message out to the masses. So I've enjoyed

00:21:34.840 the publishing process because I have a team built around me that's like, Hey, we need answers to these

00:21:41.600 questions. We're going to put together this marketing proposal. Um, we've got our own editors. We've got

00:21:47.700 an in-house design team. We've got all this stuff. That's kind of a nice, a nice factor of it as well.

00:21:57.220 And plus you get a bonus. Like that's always nice. Let's be frank about that. You get, I got paid up

00:22:03.180 front. You know, I got, I got an advance on the book. I actually got two advances on the book and I have

00:22:09.140 two potential bonuses based on how many books that we sell through the publisher. And then of course

00:22:16.080 we get the, uh, uh, a portion of the book sells as well. So we'll see. I can't tell you one's better

00:22:23.020 than the other, but we'll, we'll see. I had a literary agent, so I, I didn't actually personally

00:22:27.800 reach out to publishers myself. So I can't speak on that. Yeah. It says Lioncrest publishing for

00:22:34.380 Goggins. So I'm not sure if that's his own. It sounds like a publishing company. It might be a

00:22:40.280 publishing company. It might be his own or it might be, there's other, there's other places like

00:22:44.440 they're quasi publishers where, um, they, they are like lifestyle entrepreneurs is what you're going

00:22:51.240 to see on our book. That's like a quasi publisher. Um, it's not like a, like your traditional

00:22:58.480 publishing house, but they're going to work with you and you're going to hire them essentially is

00:23:03.500 what's going to happen. You're going to hire them to work you through editing, design distribution.

00:23:10.500 That's actually why I brought on lifestyle with Jesse did a phenomenal job is because I really

00:23:15.680 needed help with the distribution channels. I didn't know how to do that. So that's where

00:23:19.100 lifestyle came into play. And they're kind of a, kind of a hybrid between the traditional

00:23:24.200 publishing model and the self-publishing model. Yeah. And that might be lion's crest or whatever

00:23:30.720 you said. I don't know. I don't know what, what it's called, but yeah.

00:23:33.500 Well, but tell me, tell me about your guys's experience.

00:23:36.340 Well, ours is, I, I called you, obviously I called Ed. I, we were lucky enough to be able

00:23:42.320 to work with John Maxwell on it too. And through the process and, um, they all lucky, not lucky.

00:23:51.000 You position ourself. Yes. Because we have the relationship.

00:23:54.520 Let's use the right word. Like use the right words there. Like it's not lucky that you get

00:23:58.940 to work with somebody like John Maxwell. Like you guys have done the work to get into that position.

00:24:03.060 Anyways, proceed. Yeah. And, and so, yes, we've positioned ourself to, in, to where we're friends

00:24:09.660 with them and have the relationship. So it's nice to be able to reach out to guys who know what they're

00:24:13.940 talking about. And so, um, I got your experience ads and then John and John's always had a publisher.

00:24:21.600 So his was a lot different viewpoint. Um, and so we used a company called Forefront that actually

00:24:28.660 prints through Simon and Schuster, and then they distribute everything else on their own,

00:24:32.860 but it's, uh, you know, it's basically everything you said is the reasons we went with them as opposed

00:24:38.800 to self. Um, and the biggest thing for us was that it, the book's the easy part, right? So I do want

00:24:46.900 to throw that out there for, for him right away. Cause he's not done with the book yet, but that's

00:24:51.240 actually the easy part in my opinion. And then the hard, I disagree with that. We can talk about that

00:24:56.220 with, I mean, it was easy. Jamie knocked it out in 60 days and I know you did quickly too. And,

00:25:02.420 and, and, but the reason I also tell people if it was just the book for us, that would have been

00:25:08.140 easier because we were tying in a lot of our business, our existing happy and strong business

00:25:12.880 to it. And so it's become all these other things with the marketing with, you know, there's all kinds

00:25:19.580 of different things that go with it, but from a publishing standpoint, the marketing, editing,

00:25:25.640 uh, distribution, um, you know, and, and we were unique in that they have all the, the written copy,

00:25:34.000 uh, and we're in a three-year contract on that. And we have full control of our ebook and the audio

00:25:41.280 book. So we are controlling that. We're going to distribute that how we please and have full

00:25:47.820 control on it, which is, that's not normal, but we negotiated that and, and, uh, and made that

00:25:53.700 happen because it, it allows for more on the other business side, like I said. So it's, um,

00:26:00.280 it's more work, self-publishing, especially in distribution. Totally. And I think it's an

00:26:05.920 advantage if you don't have an existing network, uh, to go with the publisher, because they're going

00:26:12.860 to help you get into more channels than you probably could on your own. But if you have a decent network

00:26:16.500 in whatever space you're writing the book for that you can distribute through, then it may,

00:26:23.020 because it's way more profitable when you distribute it straight away than going through the publisher.

00:26:31.540 Yeah. And you do that, but, but, well, but in volume, I'll challenge that though. Right.

00:26:36.140 So that's the difference. So like per book, you might make more, but when you consider your bonuses

00:26:43.200 and you consider distribution outlets and you consider opportunities for even legacy media,

00:26:49.480 traditional media, like per book, maybe, but if I sell 10,000 books self-publishing and I sell a

00:26:57.100 hundred thousand, you know, I'm going to make a significantly more on a hundred thousand making

00:27:02.020 less than 10,000 making a little bit more. Exactly. Yeah. So we had to factor that too. And we

00:27:08.920 were looking for volume and honestly, we're not even trying to make money on the book. So that's a

00:27:14.300 factor as well. It's what's your end game is the book to, is it going to be serving people in some

00:27:20.780 other way? Or are you writing the book to make money on a book? So I don't know what you're doing

00:27:25.740 with your book, if that's to make money, or if it's just to spread the message and grow this movement

00:27:32.360 that you're growing for us, it's not to make money on a book and we'll make money on it, but

00:27:37.800 the, the most important intention is to get this message that we're growing for people that we're

00:27:46.800 using to serve people to more people. That's the, and mine is, mine is very similar with my book.

00:27:54.340 My goal is to, well, I have, I have three priorities with the book. Priority number one is to,

00:28:03.100 maybe it's just two priorities. I'm just kind of thinking through this, but, but we'll just say

00:28:09.420 this way. Priority number one is to build up authority, influence, credibility with our existing

00:28:17.600 people, the guys who already tapped into the podcast and tapped into iron council and these other

00:28:23.020 events, all these other things that we do. And then people who would have, you know, never,

00:28:27.600 never been introduced to us before. And then secondary to that is to hit some of these best

00:28:34.640 sellers of wall street, New York times list for the same reason to be able to expand our reach

00:28:40.840 and to reach new men and women who have never would have heard of our message otherwise,

00:28:45.360 so that we can better serve them and pick up new clients, increase and improve our influence and

00:28:52.540 credibility with other people. We're going to make money doing it. Sure. Like you said,

00:28:57.540 and that's great. Like I like to make money. There's nothing wrong with making money.

00:29:00.880 That'll happen. That's a, that to me is a by-product of the other two priorities that I have.

00:29:06.180 Yes. Yeah. I agree. I feel like, let me just give just a bit of practical advice here. So you're,

00:29:12.560 you're 25,000 words deep into this. Here's what I would say just as a general rule of thumb,

00:29:16.900 it's not exclusively true, but as a general rule of thumb, if you already have an audience,

00:29:20.560 then maybe traditional publishing would be a pretty good Avenue. If you're trying to get a,

00:29:25.520 get a, get a, um, an advance and get some distribution that you may not already have.

00:29:31.380 If you don't have an audience at all, it's going to be really hard at this stage in the game to get

00:29:36.820 yourself a publisher. It really is. And so you might look at the self-publishing route. Um,

00:29:42.500 the biggest thing right now is your 25,000 words deep into this. You're either halfway through or a third

00:29:48.580 of the way through really is what you're at. You know, there's a lot of 40, 50,000 word books out

00:29:53.740 there. There's a lot of 60 to 75,000 word books. What, what did your wife, how many, how many words

00:30:00.060 roughly give or take 65? Yeah. We're right about pages. Yeah. We're right about there. I think

00:30:06.680 we're at like 62. So you're, you know, you got, you got another, you know, 40,000 words to write.

00:30:15.000 So be thinking about this stuff, but just keep writing, just keep writing.

00:30:20.420 You know, the, the nice thing too, if you do it well, and I'm just assuming that's,

00:30:25.880 if you do it well, is, uh, we already have our team from the publishing company wanting to do

00:30:32.280 spinoff books on two of the chapters because they like the premise of those chapters and want to do

00:30:38.440 an entire book on that because they see a need and value in the marketplace for it. And they think

00:30:44.040 they can market it well. And so you'll get that kind of insight that we wouldn't have gotten on

00:30:48.840 our own. Not that she wants to do it right away, but either way it's, you know, maybe four or five

00:30:54.320 years down the road, she'll write another spinoff on what they're talking about, but we wouldn't have

00:30:58.860 had that insight on our own. So that stuff's valuable also.

00:31:03.280 One other thing I would say is, so you have book writing, you have publishing deals and all this

00:31:07.400 kind of stuff, but this is one of the most important things. Build like work on building

00:31:14.060 your audience today. You know, you might be six months out, you might be 12 months out.

00:31:19.980 You're not any less than six to nine months out. Like it's going to be at least that long.

00:31:24.600 So work on building your audience, build your social media profiles, add value, enhance,

00:31:32.860 enrich their lives, like capture emails, build the audience. Now build up a network. That's

00:31:40.120 really important. Build up a network of people that you can communicate with and connect with.

00:31:45.080 And that way, when you get done with a book and you go through publishing or traditional or

00:31:49.240 self-published, you'll have actually somebody to sell to. It's like, it's that old adage.

00:31:54.300 When a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound? I mean, we would think, yeah, I mean,

00:32:00.200 it makes a sound because like things make sounds, but if nobody's there to hear it,

00:32:03.320 doesn't make a sound. Well, it makes a sound still, but nobody heard it, right? It's the same

00:32:06.980 thing with a book. You could have the best message in the world. And if you have nobody there to listen

00:32:12.760 to it, is it really the best message or is it just untapped potential? So build up the audience.

00:32:21.640 Now that's an integral part of your marketing strategy with the book. All right. We beat

00:32:26.440 this one to death. What's next? All right. Next question is from Gregory Ensley. It says,

00:32:33.360 Ryan, I know that you're injured right now and hope you're recovering well. I'd like to ask a

00:32:37.480 question that I struggle with. And I know you do both of these. How do you balance weight training

00:32:42.520 with your jujitsu? Do you feel as if training one too hard takes away from the other?

00:32:50.260 I'll answer the last question first. No, because I know my priority. My priority is not

00:32:58.580 strength training. My priority is jujitsu. So I do CrossFit, which is largely hit workouts,

00:33:05.800 high intensity interval training, which is what jujitsu is. High intensity interval training.

00:33:10.900 Five minutes, eight minutes, 10 minute rounds break. Five minute, eight minute, 10 minute round

00:33:17.660 break. That's high intensity interval training. So my workouts outside of jujitsu are 10 minutes,

00:33:26.640 15 minutes, 20 minutes break, right? It's the same. So getting better at jujitsu flexibility,

00:33:34.320 knowing what muscles I need to utilize is going to help me better with determining what strength

00:33:39.260 training program I need to utilize. And then strength training is built around the priority,

00:33:43.720 which is not strength training. The priority is jujitsu. So it's high intensity interval training

00:33:48.080 when it comes to strength training. Yeah, I am nursing a bit of an injury right now.

00:33:52.320 I actually just went to the orthopedist today and it looks like I do have a partial pectoral

00:33:58.240 tendon tear or rupture. And so I go in for an MRI on Wednesday or Thursday of this week.

00:34:06.060 If it's 20% or less, probably no surgery. We'll just do some physical therapy and get this thing

00:34:15.180 built up. If it's 50% or more, probably surgery. And if it's in between, it's kind of a gray area

00:34:21.260 that I'll have to discuss with my doc. But yeah, here's what I'll say. They're harmonious. So if you

00:34:29.140 think about like an orchestra, like what, what's more important, the cello or the drum percussion?

00:34:37.600 Like you can't really say one's more important than the other. Like they're both, they're different,

00:34:43.240 completely different, but you actually need both. And that's what creates the beautiful sound strings

00:34:49.020 and percussion and woodwinds. And I'm not a musical guy, but I, so I'm thinking I'm getting the right

00:34:53.960 terms here. You knew at least three. That was good. Yeah. I don't know the rest of them, but when

00:34:58.580 you, when you have all of them together, it's what creates the beautiful sound that you're like,

00:35:03.700 that's pleasing to the ear. Right. And it's the same thing with my exercise regimen. If I'm,

00:35:09.340 if I'm doing a like bodybuilding, if I'm bodybuilding and doing jujitsu, maybe those wouldn't

00:35:16.340 necessarily go hand in hand or, or here's even a better one. If I'm doing power lifting and jujitsu,

00:35:23.200 that's probably not harmonious. Cause it, with power lifting, I'm like, I got to put on muscle

00:35:29.800 mass. I got to be dense. My muscles need to be big and thick and strong mobility. Isn't as big of an

00:35:35.500 issue. Like just all like technical, like short, quick movements. That is not the same as jujitsu.

00:35:42.940 And so those are not harmonious. That would be a horrible, horrible orchestra to listen to.

00:35:48.560 So it's the orchestra of life. Like what is like, what is harmonious, right? It's the same thing

00:35:57.820 between family and business. If I say I'm a family man and I want to be engaged with my family all the

00:36:03.740 time. And yet I'm gone for, you know, four months out of the year and back for two weeks, gone another

00:36:09.120 six months and back for a week. It's like, okay, that's not harmonious with your other priorities.

00:36:14.760 And so you need, something's got to give something's going to shift. So I do both, but it's,

00:36:21.900 it's harmonious. It, it, it blends. Yeah. On, on that thought, it just makes me lead to what do you

00:36:31.280 want? What are you trying to get out of your training? Because as you've said that I thought

00:36:36.900 of jujitsu with me as it gets closer to hunting season, particularly elk season, because that's

00:36:43.820 for me, my most important hunt of the year. It's the one I, I love the most and want to do the most

00:36:48.640 as it gets closer. I ratchet back my jujitsu and I train lighter in jujitsu just to make sure I don't

00:36:56.540 injure myself. Cause if I blow out a shoulder and elbow, you're done before I'm going elk hunting,

00:37:01.280 I'm not elk hunting. Or a peck and trying to get into, into archery season. Bro, if I have,

00:37:07.080 if I have surgery, so I've got a hunt in June in Hawaii. This is the hunt that you and I went on.

00:37:13.060 You can't make it cause you're moving unfortunately. But like, if I have surgery, my hunt's done.

00:37:19.520 I'm done, man. Like if I have surgery in the next week or two, I don't get to go to Hawaii in June.

00:37:24.440 But so like, you got to prioritize, you know, and anyways, continue.

00:37:30.680 Yeah. But no, that was it. That was the next question is actually about working out too. And

00:37:35.260 so instead of getting into how I work out, I'll save it for that, but that's, you got to know

00:37:40.140 what you're doing it for. If you're just working out for the sake of working out, who knows, but

00:37:45.720 if there's a goal, then you have to figure out what's going to help you or hinder you towards

00:37:52.840 moving towards that goal. Well, and here's the difference, Sean. So like, if you just take,

00:37:57.340 let's just extrapolate two factors out of that hunting and jujitsu. If I had to choose one of

00:38:03.060 them, I would choose jujitsu a hundred percent all day long. And it sounds like, I don't want to put

00:38:09.580 words in your mouth, but it sounds like you would choose hunting. Yeah. I was just going to say that.

00:38:13.040 And for me, it's that opposite. Right. And so you're not wrong or right. That's your,

00:38:20.480 that's your decision. And it's my decision. Yeah. Because it's, we both know what we want.

00:38:26.740 Right. Neither one of us is right, but it's right for us. Yeah. So you could say, well, man,

00:38:31.960 if I go out elk hunting and I blow out my knee, then I won't be able to train jujitsu. Like you

00:38:36.340 could easily flip that on your head on its head, but you know what your priority is. Right. So you're

00:38:41.180 like, if I do jujitsu, I could blow out my knee or my elbow and I can't go hunting. And I think, man,

00:38:45.940 if I go hunting, like I might get myself hurt or malnourished or blow out my knee or hurt myself.

00:38:51.460 And then I can't train jujitsu. Neither one of us are right or wrong. It's just your priority. What

00:38:56.160 you decide. And then you base everything else around that. And it'll change too. Right.

00:39:02.200 And allow it to change, like allow it to change. So many guys are like, well, you know, I've always

00:39:07.920 done it this way. Yeah. So, and then you're always going to experience the same results, which may or

00:39:14.680 may not be bad or good, but if you're not happy with the results, then maybe stop saying this is

00:39:19.260 always the way I've done it and start saying, Hey, what if I tried something new? That just irked me

00:39:24.440 when you said it, even like that, that that's just the way I am thing, or you can't teach an old dog

00:39:29.840 new tricks. Right. Oh, that drives me crazy. Yeah, for sure. It's frustrating. What's next?

00:39:36.540 All right. Next one is Jacob Benda asks if you were unable to go to the gym and had to work out at home,

00:39:43.400 what areas would you focus on for a 30 to 40 minutes slot?

00:39:49.880 Well, I mean, I guess it depends on why you can't go to the gym, but let's just for the

00:39:53.340 sake of argument, say it's a time constraint, not a physical limitation that it's a time

00:39:58.620 constraint, or maybe, maybe, maybe it's a financial constraint that that's a possibility to like,

00:40:02.820 Hey, I can't afford a gym membership. There's, there's a lot of reasons, but let's just say

00:40:05.740 though those two, uh, I would focus on a lot of body weight stuff. So pushups, sit-ups, burpees,

00:40:12.200 um, overhead stuff. I have bands in, um, in, in my house that I'll like strap to the door and I'll

00:40:20.300 like do band work. Uh, when I'm at a hotel, I was at the hotel this weekend. Like I'll literally grab

00:40:26.180 a chair and I'll do curls with a chair and overhead. Like I'll grab every hotel has a chair,

00:40:32.920 curls with a chair and like shoulder presses with a chair. I think you can find stuff wherever you are

00:40:40.560 to do whatever you need to do. So I would do body weight stuff. Um, I would get, I'd go to Walmart

00:40:46.480 today and I would pick up 25 pound, 35, 50, and maybe some 70 pound, either kettlebells and or

00:40:56.400 dumbbells. And I would add those to my, my repertoire of stuff at home. Uh, I would do a lot of walking,

00:41:02.580 which is something we do every morning or every night. We go out for a walk and we usually get a

00:41:07.620 mile or two in as a family, or maybe just my wife and I, or maybe my oldest son and I go for a walk

00:41:12.400 and we're looking for Turkey or whatever. Uh, but yeah, I would focus on body weight stuff.

00:41:20.040 I would focus on finding weighted stuff, whether it's a chair, uh, or bands or tires. Like there's

00:41:30.700 always a tire somewhere laying around. And so if it's not, here's an, here's the thing people are

00:41:34.600 like, well, I can't go get a big tractor tire. Cool. Like get one of your old spare tires and just

00:41:39.620 take it and try to do disc throws with it, man. If you did that like 20 times on each side,

00:41:47.740 bro, like, and you're only going to throw it 20 yards tops. So it's not like you need a lot of

00:41:53.820 space. You're not probably not even gonna throw it that far, maybe 10 yards. You don't need a lot

00:41:58.300 of space. So get a little creative and you, you can definitely find the means if you're,

00:42:04.380 if you're serious about it. Yeah, I totally agree. Mainly because I haven't been to a gym and probably

00:42:11.980 who knows 16, 17 years. And I mean, you know me well enough, right? I'm not a huge guy. If we were

00:42:22.100 standing side by side, like at this event we were at, there's all these guys way more muscular looking,

00:42:27.200 ripped, whatever else. But I could tell you, you get me out in the forest with the bow in my hand

00:42:33.020 and Holy smokes, man. I can go, you get me out in somewhere. Bro, I've seen it firsthand. You're

00:42:37.320 like a little mountain goat. You're, you're, you're tall. What are you? Six, six, one, six foot six,

00:42:42.100 six, two. So you're six, two. So you're tall and you're lean. Like I wouldn't say, oh, that guy's

00:42:47.480 jacked, but I would say he's ripped. Like that guy's lean. He's fit. And he'll run circles around any of

00:42:54.980 you all day long. If you get them on any sort of outdoor track or whatever. But I know even when

00:43:01.500 you're on our iron council calls, like half the time I look at you and you, you've got a backpack

00:43:07.220 on and you're hiking around who knows all of Southern California or whatever the hell you're

00:43:12.060 doing. Yeah. Around hunting season. It's going to be Tennessee soon. But like, that's what I see you do.

00:43:17.380 And so clearly I know this sounds weird. Okay. This is going to sound weird. Okay. No homo on this,

00:43:23.000 but like at, at the event, like I was like, Hey man, it's good to see you. And I like slapped

00:43:29.020 your back and I'm like, Oh shit. Like Sean's lean and strong. Cause I could feel your, like your back

00:43:34.020 and your traps. I'm like, yeah, man. Like that feels good. You're leaning strong, dude. And so you do

00:43:39.660 that in jujitsu with guys too. Right. It's like, I mean, you just, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

00:43:46.240 You can feel it. Like you put your hand on another man or, or another man grabs you and you're like,

00:43:51.700 Oh shit, this guy's strong. But that goes back to what's important to you. My back and, and

00:43:58.300 especially my middle back and my traps and like that's, and my triceps are my strongest part of

00:44:05.440 my upper body. And then my legs are, have always been super strong from skating and surfing as a kid.

00:44:10.620 And, but that is the reason that's the strongest part of my body is because I want that to be the

00:44:18.640 strongest part of my body for the things that I love to do physically, which is surfing, bow hunting

00:44:25.300 and jujitsu jujitsu. It's not for that. It's just, that's how I landed, but through surfing first

00:44:32.440 initially, and then bow hunting. And so once I got into those two things that serves me the most for

00:44:39.800 those things. And so that's important to me. And so that's what I tend to focus on. So my strength

00:44:45.960 training is strength training in the sense of the word of it's very lightweight. There's not a lot of

00:44:52.580 heavy weight lifting and definitely not power lifting. Um, I don't even need a full rack of

00:44:57.580 weights. I'm going to get that at the new house. Cause I'll start doing a little more of it.

00:45:01.500 But, um, you know, I do that with an emphasis on core so that when I'm doing the things that I love

00:45:08.000 to do physically, I can perform my best at those things. And so I don't need massive weights to be

00:45:14.880 able to do it. But like you said, I've got get really creative on things. Um, you know, shoot my

00:45:20.580 bow a ton, walk a ton. Um, I have a bad knee. So it's in, and right now a bad hamstring, but you put

00:45:30.220 me in a physical situation around other men, I can hold my own. So I'm not going to be the most

00:45:34.720 jacked. I can't lift the most. Like when you were listening to, um, oh my gosh, I'm spacing on a

00:45:39.060 name. Um, the power lifter, um, at the man. Yeah. At the man in cage event. Oh, Mark bell. Yeah.

00:45:49.620 Mark bell. I can't even wrap my brain. I mean, almost nobody can, but I really can't. I don't

00:45:57.420 know if I could push one 80 right now, let alone 800 pounds, but you don't need to like,

00:46:02.460 that's the point. I don't want to either. Right. But I can't, and you look at that guy

00:46:07.020 and you're like, Holy smokes, man. Like his, his chest from like the, his back to his chest

00:46:12.760 on his, on his profile view is twice the depth of mine. Right. And the, just the years. And,

00:46:18.780 and, and I like how he pointed out the steroids part too, but that for me, I've, I've zero interest

00:46:24.900 in that. Right. And, and to me, that's not the strength that I want. The strength that I

00:46:32.120 want has to be useful in my life has to be able to serve me and my family in some way.

00:46:36.780 Well, there's even, there's even to isolate it even further. These even like micro factors of

00:46:42.040 this. So let's just isolate, um, jujitsu, for example, I think, did we roll last time you were

00:46:48.060 out here? You and I, I don't know that we did. No, we should, we need to next time you're out here,

00:46:52.400 but just based on looking at you and your makeup, your game is probably different than mine. Like

00:46:58.160 you're probably fast. You're probably quick. You're definitely longer than I am. So a lot of

00:47:03.760 limbs and like wrapping legs and arms around, like, that's not my game. My game is I'm going to pressure

00:47:09.700 the shit out of you and I'm going to make you feel twice as heavy as I actually am because I know how

00:47:16.800 to pinpoint that weight. And so for me, if I just isolate it to jujitsu alone, which is important to

00:47:22.240 me, like my focus is like, how do I get dense? Right? Like, how do I get fricking heavy? Like,

00:47:30.700 I don't need, I don't need to be long and lanky and skinny. Like, how do I turn myself into a little

00:47:35.980 boulder that becomes an immovable object? And then when it's laying on top of you, it feels like the

00:47:42.940 weight of the world is just crushing your soul. And you like, like your, your limbs are rendered

00:47:49.800 useless. Like that's my game. Right. So that's what everything, right. And that's what everything

00:47:56.540 revolves around. It's like, get dense. And so I'm shorter than you. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm more

00:48:03.880 blocky, I would say. You're stockier. Yeah. Right. So, but like, so what we get so used to being like,

00:48:10.680 well, I want to look like that guy. Well, you know what? You may never look like that guy.

00:48:14.220 You'll probably never look like that guy. So like, why are you comparing yourself to that guy?

00:48:19.560 Like, why don't you look like the best version of yourself? And that might be a little bowling ball,

00:48:26.960 like not even a, like a fricking wrecking ball, where it might be this like long, lean, ripped,

00:48:34.440 shredded dude. I don't know, whatever your goal is. So like, let's stop comparing each other

00:48:38.560 or ourselves to other people and think about what is it, what is it that we want specifically?

00:48:44.280 Yeah. It actually kind of hurts my soul. When I go out, you know, you go hunting or you do something

00:48:48.960 physical with guys that look jacked and then you get out there with them and it's hard for them to

00:48:53.520 move. They can barely function, you know? And I think this is the last thing I'll say on it is

00:48:58.140 I also think in a sense of what if like it hits the fan and all of a sudden I'm in a situation

00:49:06.680 where I'm with my family, you know, on our way out to our ranch, you know, our go-to place

00:49:12.540 for that. And then I, we need to, something happens to my vehicle and we need to get out

00:49:19.740 and I need to basically huff it with them on foot to get to our destination. And through that process,

00:49:26.900 I end up having to carry family members or whatever else it is. Am I going to be able to physically

00:49:32.460 perform in that situation? I think about that too. So when I'm training,

00:49:36.020 I want to be in a situation where if it came down to it, I could physically perform for my family in

00:49:42.580 that way as well. And so that's part of my thought process of, of how I train also.

00:49:48.040 Well, and, and this applies more broadly, but let's let, so imagine this for all you gamer nerds

00:49:53.200 out there, like you're going to play a shooter game and you get to pick between five characters

00:49:58.520 and each of those five characters have five common characteristic traits, right? So let's say like

00:50:05.800 strength, stamina, agility, speed, and intelligence. So they have those five characteristics and each of

00:50:13.780 the five characteristics, five characters have the same characteristics, the five that they can choose

00:50:19.640 from. And then you're going to pick one based on, okay, well, I want to be the strong guy. Okay.

00:50:25.440 Then you get a level five at strong, but you get a level three at intelligence and you get a level

00:50:30.240 two at stamina. But you get a level, you know, four at agility, right? And you have to choose

00:50:38.440 because you only get so many points and you have to choose. You're like, do I be the strong guy and

00:50:43.460 the less agile guy? Or do I want the agile guy, but he's not as strong? Or do I want the guy with

00:50:47.600 stamina? Or do I want the guy who, who's really agile, but maybe he's not as intelligent? Or do I want to

00:50:52.980 be the nerdy guy who's like super intelligent, but maybe he's not as strong? That's life.

00:50:57.780 Yeah.

00:50:58.380 And none of them are wrong or right, but just figure out what it is. Like, Hey, you know,

00:51:03.860 I'm not a strong guy, but like, I'm very intelligent and I can work on shoring up my,

00:51:09.500 my weaknesses, but they'll never be strengths. I can always improve them, but they'll never be

00:51:14.340 strengths. And so I'm the guy that, you know, can crack the codes and tap into whatever,

00:51:19.160 like, that's me. That's my role. And then just embrace it and live it fully.

00:51:24.540 As you say that, did you see the thing that Tim Kennedy posted about that gamer kid that

00:51:29.160 you won like the world war games or something?

00:51:32.040 I saw that the other day and then he died in the battle.

00:51:34.960 Exactly. Yeah. Totally. I did see that.

00:51:37.280 I hate to laugh about that, but it's like, gosh,

00:51:40.660 well, it's a little arrogant. I mean, I don't know what the validity of those things are.

00:51:45.040 I don't ever put too much stock in it.

00:51:46.160 But I just had that thought as you, but it is funny. Yeah. All right, man. Next question.

00:51:50.440 We got a, maybe one or two more. Okay. Dustin Stokes. What are some of your favorite

00:51:54.980 recommended vacation spots you've been to? If you could pack the fam up today and go on a getaway,

00:52:00.700 where would you go? What activities would you do, et cetera?

00:52:04.040 Okay. So I'll answer it in the spirit of which is what was intended. And then I'll give you my real

00:52:08.160 answer. The spirit in which it's intended. I actually really enjoy Hawaii, which is weird coming from,

00:52:14.740 you know, a white Irish German guy that goes from white to red to white to red and nothing in

00:52:19.040 between. I do actually really enjoy Hawaii pro tip on the beach. Always men bring a shovel.

00:52:24.680 Don't ever go to the beach without a shovel always or a surfboard or something, but always go to the

00:52:29.940 beach with a shovel. Uh, so I liked that. I went to London a couple of years ago with my wife and I

00:52:35.740 was like, I felt like Ron Swanson. I'm like, why would I go to London? Like all of history started

00:52:40.380 after America was founded. And I went out there for a podcast and I went on the London real podcast.

00:52:47.220 Holy shit, man. I really, really enjoyed London. Like really enjoyed the dichotomy between the old

00:52:55.140 and the new and the history. It was amazing. Um, but I would say like Hawaii is awesome.

00:53:03.380 London was a lot of fun. I would really like to go to Ireland, Scotland, and Italy. Those are three

00:53:11.100 places on my to-do list that'll come in the next year or two. Uh, now the, the real answer to the

00:53:18.640 question. And my mom was asking this, I was in California. She lives in California. We were able

00:53:22.980 to go to breakfast yesterday for mother's day. And we were talking about traveling. I'm like, I don't

00:53:28.300 really like travel. I don't like being gone. And she was asking about it. I'm like, look, I bought the place

00:53:33.060 that I want to be. Like I bought the house I want to live in. I have the property I want to have.

00:53:39.940 You know what my ideal weekend is? Being here in Maine, doing projects, building garden boxes,

00:53:49.980 painting the barn, um, you know, cleaning the windows, even shoveling dog shit from my two dogs.

00:53:57.600 Like my ideal weekend, I'm living it. I want to be here. I don't need to escape anywhere. I don't

00:54:03.780 need to go to now. These places are fun for vacation. I don't need to escape from my life.

00:54:08.460 I love it. I want to be here. I'm here with my family. I've got the house we've always dreamed of.

00:54:13.240 We've got the property we need. We're building food plots and we're hunting on it and we're doing

00:54:18.120 projects and we're building out the barn and we're having people over and we're going fishing and

00:54:23.540 we're spending the day at the, at the lake. I'm living it. This is it, man. Like I don't

00:54:31.060 need to go to anywhere. I don't need to go to Hawaii. I'm like, no, just let me be here for the

00:54:34.940 weekend and like cranking out my to-do list and running, running to Abishans and, you know,

00:54:39.960 getting some hardware for, you know, screws that, you know, popped out on the doors in the house.

00:54:44.220 Like that's it for me. I love that. It's a weird thing maybe, but I'm living what I want to live.

00:54:49.680 And I bought what I wanted to live because this is the life I want to be happy about.

00:54:54.260 That's where you and I totally agree. I'm, I'm exactly the same. It's one of my favorite quotes

00:55:00.600 has always been build a life that you don't need a vacation from. And that's, we've done that same

00:55:04.880 thing. And the place we're moving to in Tennessee is just a continuation of that. It's, we've been

00:55:09.440 living that now in saying that there's some man, some beautiful magnificent course traveled around

00:55:14.720 the world that I love, but honestly, I don't like the travel part. I hate getting there. Once I'm there,

00:55:20.380 it's great. And then I've figured out, I don't like some places. Like I'm not a fan of Europe

00:55:24.960 personally. No offense. If you're in Europe and you, and you like going to this, but I'm just not

00:55:29.160 a fan. I'm more of a tropical guy. Fiji is my favorite place. There's a place called Tavarua

00:55:32.920 and Fiji. If you could get your family there, you will love it. I don't, I've never met a single

00:55:38.580 person that, that they didn't just love their time there. Um, especially if you have a family,

00:55:44.780 it's built more for surfers, but you could go there and not be a surfer and you will have the

00:55:48.640 time of your life. The people are fantastic. It's amazing. And, um, you know, and then it also comes

00:55:54.340 down to, I'd like creating experiences for our family. We actually, if we spend a lot of money,

00:56:00.320 if I only had a, uh, minute amount of money and I was limited by what I could do with that money.

00:56:07.800 And I had to choose between buying nice things and, and having experiences with my family,

00:56:14.380 I'd spend all that money and experiences. So I drive a beater pickup, but travel all over.

00:56:20.740 And the reason I do it is because I want to help my kids find their passions, find out what they

00:56:25.700 enjoy. And so we tend to do very different things where we've, you know, we'll vacation at a dude

00:56:32.080 ranch. We'll vacation on an Island in the middle of the ocean and Fiji will, you know, Hawaii, we

00:56:37.820 always do. Cause I agree with you. I would actually thought it was weird if you didn't like Hawaii

00:56:42.500 cause I've never met anybody who doesn't. I know people who go to Hawaii for a vacation after their

00:56:49.740 vacation.

00:56:50.740 They're like, just to, to kind of, you know, uh, it's, it's, it's a place. There's nothing

00:56:58.360 like it. Right. Hawaii is awesome. But, um, but yeah, camp do, I mean, the, just the more

00:57:04.860 experiences, the better. And I think if that's your intention, you can't go wrong.

00:57:09.800 A hundred percent. All right. One more.

00:57:11.840 All right. No, this one here it is. How do you define what is enough for you?

00:57:17.220 I don't, I haven't found the answer to that question. Now that's not to say, so there's

00:57:24.240 this weird thing where, where we assume there's a dichotomy between being content and being ambitious.

00:57:28.960 I don't, I don't find that to be a dichotomy. Like I, in my own personal life, I haven't found

00:57:35.900 those two desires to be at odds with each other. Like I always want more, you know, I want to make

00:57:42.100 more money. I want to impact more people. I want to have better experiences to our point last time,

00:57:47.180 but I'm also really satisfied with my life. Like we've created a life that I'm really proud of,

00:57:53.620 that I'm, I'm really excited each day to wake up and be part of and be engaged with my children and

00:57:58.760 be engaged with you and Kip and other people. Like, I'm really excited about that. And so I don't think

00:58:04.760 it, I don't, I think that's a false dichotomy that society has set up, or maybe it's a limiting

00:58:10.860 belief where it's like, you either have to like be completely ambitious and go after all these

00:58:16.580 things or be satisfied. Why can't you be both? Like I'm, I'm happy. Like I, I like life.

00:58:23.980 I'm fulfilled. I'm doing things that are important to me. And also I want more of it. Like I want to

00:58:29.600 be more influential. I want to reach more people. I want to make more money. I want to go to the place

00:58:35.440 in Fiji. I've never been there. I'm like, I wrote it down right here. I'm like, I never been to that

00:58:38.680 place. I won't go there. And I need to earn the money to be able to take my family there and have the

00:58:43.040 infrastructure in place with my organization to be able to spend three weeks down there. Like we're

00:58:49.380 going to talk about this offline. Like I want to do that. And also I really like looking out my

00:58:54.280 window over here and seeing the turkeys in the field. Like I like it, but why are they at odds

00:59:00.940 with each other? So here's what I would say from a practical level is two things, practice vision.

00:59:09.320 So I'm thinking about Fiji and what that might look like and the people we interact with and

00:59:15.460 traveling down there and the things that we would engage in. I was in Mexico at the end of last year

00:59:20.900 and like doing the zip line and spending time with good people and having fun together as friends.

00:59:26.440 So I'm visualizing that that's one practical exercise. I do that every single day. And the other

00:59:32.760 thing I do every single day is practice gratitude. Man, I'm really grateful that Sean, you and I can

00:59:40.000 talk today. I'm really grateful that we have the technology to do it. I'm really grateful that I

00:59:46.140 went to the doctor's office today and I actually had a doctor who's knowledgeable, who sat down with me

00:59:55.040 and talked with me and little things like you're required to wear a mask in the doctor's office.

01:00:00.240 And we get in there and the doc was like, Hey, do you mind if we just like, can you take your mask?

01:00:03.940 Are you okay? Are you comfortable with having masks off? And I was like, Oh man, I'm grateful for this

01:00:07.620 guy. Like, like, he's not an idiot. He's like, he's like a real human being. Who's, you know,

01:00:14.220 trying to do right and trying to connect with people. And then he, you know, did some like palpation

01:00:18.560 to try to figure out what was going on. And I was like, man, I'm really grateful that I have somebody

01:00:22.840 who's, and I give, I'd give the public school and secondary education, a bunch of shit. And then at the same

01:00:28.580 time, I'm like, man, I'm really grateful that this guy went through all the training and he's probably

01:00:33.080 got at least several hundred thousand dollars in student loans that either are still there or that

01:00:37.560 he's paid off. I'm grateful he decided to do that. You know, and then I came home and I pulled into

01:00:43.040 this driveway of this beautiful house and I sat there and I'm like, Whoa, I have a car. Or I went to

01:00:48.960 California this weekend and I literally went from one side of the country to the other in a period of

01:00:55.900 10 hours, 10 fricking hours. That would have taken me 10 months or longer. You know, a hundred years

01:01:03.880 ago, I got there in 10 hours and yeah, traveling sucks. And like, we're all crammed in there and

01:01:10.980 sometimes your flights get rescheduled or canceled or you can't get a first class seat. And so you have

01:01:16.100 to sit with the peasants, you know, in the back row, right by the bathroom, but you're like,

01:01:19.620 I'm going to be there in 10. I'm going to be there tonight in California tonight. I left this morning.

01:01:25.180 Crazy. The gratitude goes a long way and the vision. And when you do both of them,

01:01:31.160 you find yourself in a grip. The word I would use is grounded. You're grounded to create a new reality

01:01:37.680 in the current reality of your life. And both are good and they're not at odds with each other.

01:01:42.980 Yeah. It's if you want my, my definitions kind of become that enough is never enough, but

01:01:52.800 I want to clarify not in an unhealthy way. And Bajos talked about this where, you know,

01:02:00.080 my friend Ed calls it blissful dissatisfaction, being blissfully dissatisfied where you you're

01:02:06.320 grateful, like you're saying for everything you have, but you still want more. And it's not even

01:02:11.680 about having more. Sometimes, sometimes it's serving more people. It's for me, that's evolved.

01:02:18.780 You know, I, I wanted my company, my first company to be a certain size and have enough people in it

01:02:24.620 so that those people could be impacted. And that was, you know, maybe I wanted to have 50 people.

01:02:29.720 Then I wanted to have a hundred, then I wanted to have a thousand and 5,000. And then, you know,

01:02:34.100 and then it became more about, okay, if I'm working just in the company, that's limited. So I need to

01:02:41.060 think bigger than that. So now I want to affect a hundred thousand people outside of that. Now it's

01:02:45.140 turned into a hundred million. So right now, as it stands, I want to be able to impact and change

01:02:49.640 the lives of a hundred million people through the work that we're doing to teach them the things that

01:02:53.840 they want to know to, to, to make themselves happier and stronger. Right. That's so we have that,

01:03:00.860 but in that, I also have these little goals. Like I've always, for whatever reason, wanted to buy

01:03:06.700 muscle cars and have a, you know, not a like Jay Leno collection, but be able to have the space to at

01:03:12.500 least buy in the realm of about 10 to 15 of them. And so this place we bought has that. So I'm going to

01:03:19.000 have that. I'm going to, so that's going to be a thing. That's it's temporal. And to some people,

01:03:25.200 it's stupid. My wife included, like that's lame. You know, I I'm pretty sure you don't,

01:03:30.060 you're not really interested in muscle. I've heard you say that before. So you could care less. Right.

01:03:34.980 But when I think of barn, when you think of barn, you think of your barn, like you have it as it is

01:03:40.560 the way you want it. And it serves what you want. When I think of a barn, I think of the one I got,

01:03:44.800 which is a car barn. It's got an epoxy floor. It's, you know, it's AC and heat and it's, you know,

01:03:51.380 we could get it for hours about how yours is a real barn and mine is stupid and mine's what a real

01:04:00.960 man would have. Right. But either way, I I'm like you, I look at that, that I can look at pictures

01:04:07.280 of it. We're not even there yet. And it's like, I just get so happy inside. And so that, that makes

01:04:12.860 me happy. And so whatever that is for you, if you have that feeling, you're doing it right.

01:04:18.780 So the definition is it has to feel good to you. You might define it enough as being all I have to

01:04:26.260 do is fish all day and that's it. So you just, every day you get to jump in, in your truck, pull

01:04:33.780 your bass boat to some Lake, you know, drop a line in for eight hours that day and catch your dinner

01:04:40.900 and, you know, go back home, eat your tuna sandwich in the boat or whatever. And if that's,

01:04:45.320 that's what makes you blissful, then you're doing it right. That would drive me out of my mind.

01:04:52.120 Cause I wouldn't feel like I'm making an impact or serving people or, you know, like that's,

01:04:56.860 that's important to me, but man, if that's what you want, you know, then, then that's your definition.

01:05:04.060 Yeah. It's got to make you feel good. I think at the end of the day, no matter what your job is,

01:05:08.720 your work or whatever else. And sometimes it doesn't mean you got to feel good all the time

01:05:12.780 because it might suck to get to that feel good point. And there might be actually, I shouldn't

01:05:18.820 say there might be, there's going to be a necessary suck to get to that point, but you have to know

01:05:25.580 what that point is to make it worth it. Yeah. When you said feel good, I knew, I know, because I know

01:05:32.100 you well enough that I, I know ours is very similar. When you say that, I think a lot of people might

01:05:37.620 interpret that as like, Oh, it's blissful. Right. And it isn't like, it's never blissful. And I

01:05:42.380 actually wrote it down here right before you said it is just because it feels good. Doesn't mean that

01:05:48.700 it's free from conflict. Yeah. Like feel good to me is like con is actually the presence of conflict

01:05:56.780 and then getting good enough to overcome it. Uh, or I've had some interpersonal frictions with some

01:06:04.500 friends of mine. And to me, it's like, man, this sucks that I'm going through this right now where

01:06:10.020 like some areas that I, that I feel like I screwed up in, and it sucks that I messed up and I don't

01:06:16.700 want to do that, but also it feels good that I can learn to be humble enough to apologize when I've

01:06:23.780 messed up, um, or, or to try to rebuild a relationship that I may have jeopardized in some

01:06:29.340 way. You know what I'm saying? Like, yes, like that's conflict, but then also it means like I'm

01:06:35.220 learning, I'm growing, I'm getting better. I'm, I'm improving. And that's what we should all be doing

01:06:40.960 is, is learning to deal with the conflict, not run away from, or hope that our life is,

01:06:49.800 is free from it. Well, also think about order of man and the IC that creates the larger that gets

01:06:57.520 is only going to create more headaches for you because you're dealing with more people and more

01:07:02.720 people, or that just means there's going to be more jackasses. That means they're going to be

01:07:06.540 more whiners, more complainers, more people that just want to argue opportunities for me. Like

01:07:11.500 forget about other people, more opportunities for me to screw it all up. Yeah. To say the wrong thing

01:07:16.800 to the wrong person. And so it's, and so many people say, well, I wouldn't want to do that because

01:07:24.140 I don't want to babysit. I'm sure you've heard people tell you all the time, man, how do you

01:07:28.100 stand babysitting all of these grown men? And here's the deal. It comes with making impact

01:07:35.220 and you're going to have to deal with that. And the larger you get, you're going to have to deal

01:07:38.200 with more, but then in that, I'm sure you had at this event, guys come up to you and thank you.

01:07:44.280 I mean, I've had guys come up to me because of the stuff that we've done through the pandemic.

01:07:50.300 And, and at this point it's, I don't know, 30, 40, 50 people between my wife and I that have

01:07:57.260 called us and thanked us and said, you know what, if it wasn't for you guys, if it wasn't for this

01:08:01.180 thing that you did every week, if it wasn't for this meeting, if it wasn't for this workshop that

01:08:06.220 you did, I was thinking of killing myself before I was there with you, before I was interacting in

01:08:11.660 that. I know you've gotten that from the IC, even just from order of man, like those messages.

01:08:16.140 And so am I willing to quote unquote, babysit to save a life, literally save a life?

01:08:24.500 Absolutely. Like that's a small price to pay. Is it a pain? But do you second guess yourself

01:08:29.220 sometimes? Do you say, especially once financially, none of it matters. And you tell yourself like,

01:08:34.700 do I really want to do this again? But then you're going to keep consistently getting those calls.

01:08:41.140 And at first they might be a year apart, you know, and then it's, and then it's a month apart. And

01:08:46.160 then, you know, maybe weekly, maybe if you're really making an impact, you're getting those messages

01:08:51.020 daily, but all of that, every one of those messages makes all of it work in my opinion.

01:08:59.360 Yeah. Agreed. Well, Hey, I, I actually want to close this out real quick. I do want to give you

01:09:04.860 another minute or two. There was another question here that I thought was important and I'm paraphrasing,

01:09:10.320 but it was something about adding value to your network and, and how do you add value? And

01:09:14.920 unfortunately we didn't get to that question, but the question was something along the lines of-

01:09:19.740 I found it.

01:09:20.660 What, can you just read it real quick? I want to give just a real world experience and an idea of

01:09:25.780 how you could do this. Go ahead and read that question.

01:09:27.860 Yes. From Drew Sains. What are a few ways you've been able to add value to other professionals that has

01:09:33.800 allowed you to open up access to their network? It's a good, great question.

01:09:37.840 It is a good question. And let me tell you to stop worrying so much about accessing their network and

01:09:43.100 just worry more about them and the access to the network will, will come. It's a lot like,

01:09:49.060 this is going to sound weird. Okay. But let me explain when you're like, how do I get laid more

01:09:54.860 often? Like, how do I, you know, access that more often? You actually care about the woman

01:10:01.260 and then those things take place, right? Like that's the inevitable outcome of the work. So

01:10:08.280 let's not keep score. Let's not worry so much about, Hey, how do I get access to their network

01:10:15.100 and just really try to serve people? So I do want to hit this next week when we do the AMA

01:10:19.940 with, with, with Kip when he comes back. But here's a real world example. So, and I, and I hope it

01:10:28.220 doesn't come across to you, Sean, as gaming this at all, or like manipulating this question. But I

01:10:33.760 thought about this, like, what is a good example of this? Here's a great example. I know your wife has

01:10:38.620 a book that's coming out and I would like you to talk about that in a second. But if you want to know

01:10:45.780 how a real world example is to add value into people's life, figure out what's important to

01:10:52.220 them in the moment and give them an opportunity to move the needle towards what's important.

01:10:59.640 And I know you're obviously your wife's important. I know the book's important to both of you and your

01:11:04.000 family and to the people that are going to read it. And so here's a real world example of how to add

01:11:09.400 value is me giving you an opportunity on my platform, right? What we've created to share

01:11:15.580 something that will serve you without any expectation in return. Like, I don't need

01:11:22.320 anything. I'm not asking you to introduce me to anybody. I'm not asking for any of that.

01:11:26.500 You know, here's an interesting thing that came up, came of this. I reached out to Ed a couple of

01:11:30.460 weeks ago. I don't think you know this story. I reached out to Ed Milet. He's a, he's a friend of

01:11:35.400 yours, very close friend of yours. And I reached out to Ed, this was probably about a month ago. Now I

01:11:40.560 think of it. And I said, Hey, I'd love to have you back on the podcast. He sent me a very kind

01:11:44.120 message. He said, you know, I really appreciate the relationship that you and Sean have. He's been

01:11:50.100 such a good friend to me. And he is, he has been an instrumental partner in what we're doing. And I

01:11:56.120 really appreciate the fact that you guys are friends and that you've treated him well and that

01:12:01.080 you've welcomed and embraced him into what you're doing. You don't know that because I never shared

01:12:05.540 that with you. And I don't think Ed would have either, but I wanted to share that with you because

01:12:09.440 this is the natural and inevitable result of caring about other people. I'm not gaining it.

01:12:18.000 I'm not manipulating it. I'm not doing something in hopes of something in return. I care about you.

01:12:23.940 I care about Ed. I care about your wife. I care about your family. And so we serve and then just,

01:12:30.700 that's it. And good things will always come of it. They always will. Inevitably they will. And you

01:12:36.440 don't even have to keep score. That's the beautiful thing. So I'm going to answer that

01:12:41.020 more in depth with some more examples, but this is a great example. And I want to give you a couple

01:12:45.080 of minutes to talk about what your wife and you have going on with the book real quick.

01:12:48.960 I will. But for, before I talk about the book, also in you saying that it's interesting that you

01:12:57.580 brought this up because I actually thought about it in my drive back from dropping off my son

01:13:01.820 in, and I carried around a bunch of books in a backpack with me at this event and gave them

01:13:07.860 out to some guys as I was having conversations. And it was in basically just to obviously get

01:13:15.740 the word out, but I'm also thinking like, wow, I'd really hope that they read this and that it serves

01:13:22.380 them in some way. But then I also thought I've gone to a bunch of events with backpacks full of

01:13:28.660 yearbooks too and given them out. Like I've, I've bought, I've bought a couple of hundred books

01:13:33.720 and I've given out probably around 150. Right. And so I got about 50 more to give out and I'll

01:13:39.560 continue to do that. Um, because it's, I want to serve those men in their lives and, um, you know,

01:13:47.700 and me, because I want your family. And I take about it that you care about me. Like, that's how I look

01:13:55.140 at, like, I'm like, Oh, he's not trying to get anything. Like I, I believe I'm like, no, Sean

01:13:59.520 cares about me. He cares about the mission. He cares about what we're doing. Like, that's how I

01:14:04.220 read it. It's not, I I've never, and I'm not saying this to like brag on myself. I just want

01:14:09.740 people to understand this is how it works. I've never asked you for a discount. I've never asked

01:14:14.540 you for a free hat. I've seen, I've, I've bought, I made a joke the other day. You showed the pallets

01:14:19.180 of like boxes. Right. And I'm like, that's just for my hat orders. That's right. Every time I see

01:14:24.620 a hat, I like, I buy it, but I don't call you and tell you, Hey bro, I, you know, I'm getting this

01:14:28.980 hat. Can I get a discount? I don't even, I think there's a way I can get it. I don't try. You know

01:14:33.160 why? Cause I want my buddies to be profitable. I want them to succeed in what they're doing. I want

01:14:37.820 their, you know, I want them to be in the black, not in the red. I want them to, to, to do well.

01:14:43.340 And, and in that pursuit, everybody wins. And so it's not, you know, it, it, and that's the way

01:14:50.280 we've been doing it. I'll tell you when, when our business grew the most for us is when we stopped

01:14:56.320 caring about the money and then Holy smokes, we became financially independent and that's so hard

01:15:02.320 for most people to do. It's hard when you need the money. It's yeah. When you need it,

01:15:08.160 it's really hard. That's the hard part. Actually, it's really hard for people when they start doing

01:15:12.580 pretty well. You know, I define pretty well as like, you kind of break into six figures where,

01:15:17.740 where pretty good kills great. You know, it's, it's like the book, good to great by Jim Collins.

01:15:25.080 And yeah, that's a whole other conversation, but thank you. And yeah, the book is happy and strong.

01:15:30.460 It's my wife. Like I said, she's unreal and this will serve because she's a woman,

01:15:38.120 she's going to move a lot in the women's space, but most men should read it too. Um, because she's

01:15:44.740 so phenomenal at planning, um, systems, putting things together, structuring your life where you're

01:15:51.660 not going to miss the important parts if you do it. Right. And so there's a lot of tangible tools.

01:15:57.200 And for that in here, and, uh, there's the book, happy and strong, Jamie Villalobos. Right. And so

01:16:04.540 you can get that at happy and strong.com anywhere place, uh, books, sell books, Amazon, all the places.

01:16:11.560 And, um, right now it's number one already in pre-sale. It launches May 17th. It's number one

01:16:17.560 in pre-sale already in the work-life balance category. And it's jumping fast in the leadership

01:16:24.800 category, the self-development category. It's funny when you said Goggins, you know, and I'd looked up

01:16:29.600 his stuff on Amazon and showed his number where he was in self-development. We've passed him in our

01:16:35.160 pre-sale. I'm like, Hey, that's awesome. Pretty good. Really good. You're not. And, but he's not

01:16:41.840 like way up there right now. Right. And I know he's been up there and, and before, but you know, again,

01:16:49.040 it's, I appreciate you doing this. Obviously not my intent. I like it, but it will serve people and it

01:16:54.040 will especially serve men, even though it's written by a woman, it will serve. We get how

01:16:58.880 many questions do we get by like, how do you do it all? How do you balance? I think women struggle

01:17:03.260 with that. I actually think men struggle more because intuitively we're not naturally more

01:17:09.280 organized. We're not naturally more, you know, structured in a way. I think there's a lot more

01:17:15.920 guys that kind of shoot from the hip than there are women. Um, women are better multitaskers. And so

01:17:22.380 just an overall. And so I think men need more help with it. So, I mean, I'm fortunate enough to where

01:17:29.460 I'm married to her and she's made me more organized and structured and everything else, but I wouldn't

01:17:34.480 be there without the stuff that she's taught me. And that's in this book. So appreciate it.

01:17:40.220 Yeah. Stoked for you. You, you brought up an interesting point and I'm not going to go down

01:17:44.020 a rabbit hole. I really could on this one. When you were talking about men are more, not necessarily

01:17:48.880 as structured. I've been thinking a lot about that and I'll just leave you guys with this and

01:17:52.580 you can chew on it. Maybe we can talk about it next week, but I felt like we, we, as men generally

01:17:58.560 are the providers of raw resources and then the women are the refiners. So like, Oh, you want a

01:18:05.120 house? Cool. Let me go chop down the tree and like, put it like stack it in, in some formation of,

01:18:12.560 you know, shelter. And then you're going to refine it by making it a nice place to be.

01:18:17.360 Like, so what we do as men is we provide the raw ingredients. We're like, we're going to go out

01:18:22.940 there and we're going to combat and like battle with nature. And then once we win, we're going to

01:18:29.900 bring it back. And then whatever you guys do with it, like, okay, like you, like that's your,

01:18:34.500 I just battled and I'm tired and I'm exhausted and I'm hurt. And so like, here it is. I won this for

01:18:40.520 you now, like you'd make it nice and pretty and comfortable. That's how it feels like the dynamic

01:18:48.000 between generally between men and women. Like I provide the raw resources and you refine it and

01:18:52.740 make it beautiful and lovely. And that's a pretty good synergy. So that, those are some of my thoughts

01:18:58.040 on that. We can, we can riff on that all day long. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Sean. Well,

01:19:03.200 I appreciate you, brother. Good luck with the book. Happy and strong guys. Great questions today.

01:19:07.680 Those come from our questions inside of the iron council. It's May 9th. As of the recording of

01:19:13.640 this, I think it'll be May 11th by the time it releases in about a month, 30 days, we're going

01:19:19.680 to be opening up the iron council. Again, this is our exclusive brotherhood. The best way to know

01:19:24.680 when we open that back up is to go to order of man.com slash battle ready. That's going to take

01:19:30.340 you through a series of 17 emails over 30 days to ramp up your life. And whether you decide to join the

01:19:37.120 iron council at the end of that 30 days in the middle of June or not, you're still going to be

01:19:41.520 better. Or you might decide, Hey, I'm ready for the next step in the iron council. So you can go to

01:19:46.500 order of man.com slash battle ready. Uh, or you can just go to order of man.com and sign up for our

01:19:50.920 emails. And I'll be sure to shoot you an email, uh, a couple of days before we open up. So you can get

01:19:55.600 your asses ready and get in the game. All right, Sean. Appreciate you, brother. Appreciate you guys.

01:20:00.560 Go ahead. Is your next event you're doing the squire program? You want to mention?

01:20:03.400 Yeah. It's, uh, it's in about two weeks. I think we have maybe a spot or two left. I had a buddy call

01:20:10.760 me, uh, that actually was at this man on caged event. And he's like, Hey, I want to bring my son

01:20:15.480 out here. So he's going to secure that spot. So I might have one, maybe two spots to one day event

01:20:20.640 here on my property in Maine. Uh, so if you're in new England area or, or eat anywhere, if you can get

01:20:25.980 here, May 28th, it'll be me, my son. And of course, Bejos Koulian, his team, incredible,

01:20:33.440 incredible event. You can go to squireprogram.com slash Ryan. Appreciate you bringing that up.

01:20:39.120 All right, guys. We'll be back on a Friday until then go out there, take action and become the man

01:20:44.320 you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge

01:20:49.720 of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at

01:20:54.460 order of man.com.

Order of Man - May 11, 2022

The Dichotomy Between Satisfaction and Ambition, Working Out at Home, and Prioritizing Jiu-Jitsu and Strength Training ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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