The Hero's Journey, Being Methodical, and Holding People Accountable ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss how to ascend quickly or slow down when coming out of the valley of a season of your life, and how to deal with the challenges that life throws your way. We also talk about the importance of having a mentor, and what to do when you find yourself stuck in a rut.
Transcript
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So every great hero has a mentor that comes in.
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And we were laughing because it's like going to sleep.
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Imagine going to sleep and then waking up in the morning
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and forgetting everything that you've learned forever
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Maybe a little bit of memory leaks on the PC or the Mac
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I know we have some questions from our guys in,
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which is open until the end of the year at the iron council.
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You can find that at order of man.com slash iron council.
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Uh, when coming out of the Valley of a season of one's life,
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should you ascend quickly from there or go deliberately slow?
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Uh, probably both or either depending on the situation.
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Um, I've used this analogy before when you're off-roading,
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let's say you're on a dirt road and it's after a rainy season.
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Maybe there was a fresh rain and you notice that somebody tore through there
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and there's just ruts in, in the dirt, uh, in the dirt road.
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Sometimes in order to get yourself out of the rut,
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you need to do something that's going to be a little violent.
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It's going to be a little extreme to get yourself popped up out of that rut
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Then you have to maintain vigilance as you're out of the rut.
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So you don't slide back into the rut because that rut is trying to pull you in.
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So I think when you're coming out of a season of life,
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that you should really begin to mix up your life.
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pursue a hobby, go on a vacation, go on a trip,
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knowing that whatever you are going to do may not be prudent in the long run,
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motivate you and inspire you to get on a path that you've been off for so long.
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I think it's okay to just come out of the gates,
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out of the box swinging and then working into a battle plan,
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working into something that's going to be more sustainable long-term.
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What do you think Brian means when he says ascend quickly?
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I see this all the time when guys join the iron council,
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let's say they're dealing with a breakdown of a relationship or they're dealing with a health scare or a financial catastrophe.
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And they realize that they need to improve their lives.
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So they'll come into the iron council and they'll try to change everything all at once.
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And what I would encourage somebody in that situation to do is to just slow down just a little bit.
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Instead of trying to fix everything all at once,
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maybe let's focus on the one thing that will improve every other aspect of your life.
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What's the one thing that will improve that aspect of your life?
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I would say maybe contrary to popular belief that you should dial in your physical health.
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I really believe that will improve your relationship,
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wake up a little earlier and maybe hit the gym three to five days a week for 45 minutes.
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but focusing on that one thing will automatically improve everything as opposed to focusing on
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everything and not really moving the needle at any one thing.
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So maybe ascend quickly in this space of consistency around top priority items,
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but maybe deliberately slow in regards to not all of the things.
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identifying the top priorities items deliberately slow is don't try to tackle everything all at once.
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I wouldn't even use the word deliberately slow because that has a negative connotation to it.
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It's doing the work when you don't feel like doing the work.
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It's knowing that in the longterm you are going to create results if you're doing the right thing,
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although you may not experience it in the short term.
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but I think that takes out some of the human element to it.
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And obviously there is a human element being methodical means you're being thoughtful.
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You can also take into consideration considerations other aspects of your life,
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You are mission driven and you will not be deterred.
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That's what I think about when I think of methodical,
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You're very methodical when it comes to training in a lot of aspects of your life.
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I knew you'd be successful with bow hunting because of how methodical you are.
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whether it's something you've observed or whether it's advice somebody else might be giving you.
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but then to get them to do something else so you can do something else so they can do something else.
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That's the kind of methodical I'm talking about.
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Well, and this is great for Brian because he's actually a brand new member within the Iron Council.
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So welcome, Brian, and get on boarded and get on that team.
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And hopefully this kind of gives you some guidance as you build that battle plan.
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as I progress in my business I started last year,
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I need to increase my pricing to pay myself more and other expenses that come up.
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I've had some original clients that supported me in this in the beginning and continue to support me.
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But when I started, I was just doing my private chef services for costs,
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How do I communicate a price increase and still frame it in a way that supports the relationship?
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For context, I do this business on the side of my full-time corporate restaurant job.
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And I take events here and there when my calendar permits.
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What I would do is I would frame it all under the context of why it's beneficial for them.
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Let's say I'm one of your private coaching clients,
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whether it's for my family or for gatherings that I hold regularly.
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But you might say, if I'm talking to you, Kip, here's what I'd say.
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Hey, Kip, I just wanted to address something with you.
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It's not the most comfortable conversation, but I do want to address something with you.
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As you're well aware of, the economy continues to,
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inflation continues to hit, the price of goods and services, and the cost of food goes up.
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And while I hate that, I still want to maintain you and a handful of other people as clients of mine.
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And what I've noticed is that if I continue to charge the prices that I've charged,
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And what I want to do is I only want to work with the people I really want to work with.
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And that's you and about five other families and corporate businesses that I work with.
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But in order to justify that, my prices are going to go up a little bit.
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But let me tell you why that's in your best interest.
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which means I'm going to be more available for you at your discretion.
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Number two, the quality of the food and the service is going to go up.
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I'm going to be able to source local ingredients.
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I'm going to be able to be more creative with my dishes.
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And I'm going to improve the quality of your experience.
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And so that's why I'm coming to you one-to-one to tell you this,
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rather than just dump this on you next time you hire me for an event or a dinner or a booking.
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If you're working with primarily businesses, and I'm trying to read your question again
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to see if this is for individuals versus businesses.
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If it's for businesses, this is not that uncommon, right?
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Everyone's increasing rates from time to time, from year to year, right?
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And so you might be, just from a mindset perspective, kind of blocking yourself here,
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thinking, oh my gosh, I'm going to lose all these clients when in reality, you're solid.
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And if you are going to outprice yourself and be more expensive than the market,
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then you need to double down on why you're worth more than everybody in the market.
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But if your strategy is to be cheaper than everybody else,
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I would probably suggest, just like a lot of small business owners,
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I remember when I used to do consulting, and I was like, $40 an hour, no one's going to pay that,
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And I couldn't even believe I used to charge people $40 an hour.
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I just, you know, you get sideways sometimes, and sometimes you're your worst enemy when it
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And the one thing I wouldn't do is just hide it and just drop a bomb.
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And you also don't want to dwell on it too much either, because then you'll talk yourself out of
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So address it, say what it is, find a happy medium.
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There's one other thing that I often think about when I see sales professionals talk about their
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They'll say it in the context of how good their stuff is.
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I come to you again, Kip, and I say, hey, we are justifying this price increase because
00:12:01.540
As a person who's hiring you, sure, maybe that counts a little bit, but that framing doesn't
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There's, it's probably delicious, but there's plenty of other chefs out there who make just
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as good a food as you do or sell the same type of widget somebody else sells.
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When I was in financial planning, I got in this habit of saying, oh, we're the best because
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Everybody else offers the same products, but I had deluded myself.
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So when you're, whenever you're adding or explaining benefit, do it from the perspective of them.
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So instead of saying my food's the best, here's what I would say.
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You're going to love the way that we combine the flavors.
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When you leave one of our dinners, you're going to feel like a million bucks because
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of how healthy the food is, how good it sits and fuels your body.
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Or here's another one, your client, if you're doing a business event, your clients are going
00:13:04.460
to think that you spent way more than you did on this event.
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And you are going to be a hero because I'm going to make sure they think you have this
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figured out and some secret that they're not aware of.
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And so what I would do is I would always have about five to 10 of those on hand for
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the most common objectives and your best selling points and just memorize what they are verbatim
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So you can just spit those out without talking about the features and more about the benefit
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And it's all about how do you make sure the client's the hero?
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You're not, you're not selling yourself as a hero.
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You're going to help them destroy the Death Star.
00:14:06.200
A lot of this comes down to understanding what's important to them.
00:14:09.600
You know, when you're giving the example of food taste, obviously there's a baseline that
00:14:14.580
needs to be met there, but the client may not care about that as much.
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What they may care about is quality of relationship and service from you.
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The quality of the service and the relationship is probably what they might care more about
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This is where like the trades get sideways, right?
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So get clear on what's important to your customer.
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I really liked that idea of, of the hero's journey.
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That's, that's originated, I believe from Joseph Campbell called the hero's journey.
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And if you look at all of our favorite movies, they all, they always have a mentor that comes.
00:15:07.680
Marcus Aurelius was, um, Maximus's mentor, but then he goes through this hardship and
00:15:15.760
Well, yeah, I think the guy's name is Proximo who was responsible for the slaves, but gave
00:15:21.140
him an opportunity and trained him how to win the crowd.
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We think about William Wallace's first, his father, who he really admired and looked up
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to, but then he has this tragic, tragic situation who comes in to save him his uncle Argyle.
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And he teaches him how to fight with his mind and use the sword.
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So every great hero has a mentor that comes in.
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Dwayne, uh, Lube, I'm working on my mindset and conversations and how I show up.
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What do you think about the concept of being unarmored as opposed to being vulnerable as
00:16:04.860
in a bunch of cells in their team rooms, making plans and getting after it are still dangerous
00:16:09.720
or a samurai in their Joe dojo honoring their skills, but they have no need to wear full body
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armor and weaponry for the individual protection because of the external safeguards of their
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They can be free from feeling like they are under attack, but they are not weak, harmless
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This is just an environment where they can actually make themselves better.
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I do too, but I think we're conflating a few things because we're not saying that the
00:16:43.860
Why, why would he even have armor if he didn't ever put it on?
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He's safe within the walls of the compound under the watchful eye of, of, you know, sentinels
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And so when you are with your band of brothers, you can be more honest and you can be more
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humble about the things that you're struggling with or the things that you're dealing with
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When you go to a match, you put your armor on, you're not going to, you're not going to walk.
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You're not going to walk out onto the mat with a gimp showing your enemy that you, that your
00:17:23.460
knee's hurting because he's going to exploit your knee.
00:17:39.280
Um, and here's another thing that, and not all the time.
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So understand even in personal relationships, you, even with your wife, people say, oh,
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I'm like, everything, like literally everything.
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Not, not to be deceitful, but to shield and protect.
00:18:03.800
She doesn't need to know all of the intricacies of your business and how hard certain things
00:18:09.040
She needs to know things that are relevant to her, but I don't think you need to disclose
00:18:13.940
And you certainly, even if you believed you did, shouldn't disclose it in the way you always
00:18:24.380
Cause if you come home and you're like, Hey hon, uh, the boss was talking about laying,
00:18:28.580
laying off half the workforce today and we're scrambling and we're going to be, she's going
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So, so you have to be a little bit careful of that.
00:18:39.360
This might be semantics, but we all often hear of this term safe space.
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And we, we were kind of joking in the iron council years ago.
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I don't know if you remember this kid, but everybody kept saying safe space.
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And I can't, I think it was Reese or somebody had made the comment that this is not a safe
00:19:03.400
And I like that distinction because secure means that there's still threats and that
00:19:09.860
we're watchful of and we're wary of, but we have systems in place to ensure that we're
00:19:21.700
And that is stupid because then you're going to be blindsided.
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And then know when to shield up, armor up and get ready to do the thing.
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And I think I've heard you say this over the years, there's distinctions based upon the
00:19:44.340
And for those that we are serving, maybe that's not the, that's the group.
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The group is the people that are serving you or you're getting coaching from or something
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But this is, you know, just like I, I use the example of our relationship with our kids,
00:20:03.340
Because it's my job to preside and serve them and to protect them.
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And because of that, that's a relationship where I'm not as open or unarmored to use this
00:20:16.860
Because does it serve them or am I unloading, right?
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I think that's one thing that we rarely ever consider, you know, people, the enlist people
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with their victim traps, with their victim mentalities.
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Are you getting coaching or are you just looking for validation?
00:20:51.260
And that's one of the biggest issues I have with the whole vulnerability movement is people,
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whether they, whether others have intended it or not, people are interpreting that as
00:21:08.040
Look, I understand the concept of vulnerability.
00:21:10.760
People mock me and laugh at me because I hate that word.
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I do hate it because it means something different to everybody.
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And because it's just become this really soft excuse to be weak and pathetic.
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You should be honest, but vulnerability for the sake of being vulnerable.
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Now, why would I be humble and honest with you, Kip?
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So that we can develop and build a relationship on trust.
00:21:40.220
But would I do that if you were my mortal enemy?
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So we really need to exercise some level of discernment and acknowledge that even, even
00:21:57.840
the word vulnerability, the, the idea of it is to recognize weaknesses so you can do something
00:22:06.280
If I'm in charge of that samurai compound and I noticed that there's some weak architecture
00:22:16.660
So then I'm going to enlist who I need to enlist and we're going to shore that up and
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As a closing thought, I was considering this a couple of months ago.
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What's the point of faith to, to move to action?
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What's the point of knowledge to move it into action?
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What's the point of being vulnerable and open to move to action?
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If it's just a feel sorry for myself and feel validated, that's not, that's not enough.
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Mike Rendine, not a question, kind of a statement.
00:23:01.060
So any thoughts you have age gap relationships, I don't even know what, like what classifies
00:23:12.500
I mean, an age gap is anytime there's a gap in age, right?
00:23:15.320
So what I think what he's asking is what is appropriate and what is not, you know, you
00:23:19.520
often hear the, the rule of what's the rule divide, divide, what is the rule divide your
00:23:27.980
So if you're, if you're 40, the, the, the unwritten rule is that you can date as low as 27.
00:23:41.800
And the problem is, and you, and typically it's, it's older men with younger women.
00:23:46.960
And the problem with that is that you are not at the same level.
00:24:01.660
Now, generally a woman is going to be more interested in safety and security from her
00:24:09.480
And generally speaking, a man is going to be more interested in vitality and vibrance and,
00:24:16.280
and beautiful being beautiful than his female counterpart might.
00:24:22.000
That's not to say that being secure isn't important to men or finding or women finding
00:24:33.020
But at some point you've got to realize that this is a little girl.
00:24:39.780
If you're 40 years old and you're dating a 20 something, I would say in the lower ends
00:24:59.100
She hasn't had difficult experiences and gone through hardship.
00:25:03.260
And she's still probably somewhat, you know, doe eyed and, and a little,
00:25:09.380
a little naive about what the real world actually entails.
00:25:12.380
And here you come in and you seem like the mature man and you've got your financial stability
00:25:22.660
She's, she's going to talk about Barbies and makeup and you're talking about business empires
00:25:31.400
And also what happens when, if there's a big age gap, what happens when you turn, you know,
00:25:43.220
Like, I can't imagine that would be a very pleasant experience, experience for a younger woman.
00:25:54.980
She's leaving you at the adult daycare centers, what she's doing.
00:26:02.200
So I, I think obviously there's, there's an age gap that I think is, I would say culturally
00:26:19.500
I think there's a lot of issues that could arise from that.
00:26:24.200
And I understand both sexes, natural inclination for a woman to choose someone a little older
00:26:31.040
and for men to choose someone a little younger.
00:26:34.440
Also be smart, ladies and gentlemen, be smart, find somebody within your age range.
00:26:41.520
So you guys can relate and build a family and grow together.
00:26:44.900
And I know there's going to be a lot of guys who probably have a big age discrepancy.
00:26:48.620
You're going to say, well, you know, well, you don't even know what you're talking about.
00:26:53.900
If you guys have a good relationship and you're 13 years apart or something and,
00:26:58.260
and it works for you and the dynamic works for you, but I'm just saying you better be
00:27:02.260
prudent and vigilant about how those dynamics will shift when you want to sit around and
00:27:09.100
And she's still full of excitement and enthusiasm.
00:27:16.620
There's a lot of, there's a lot of considerations I think here outside of she's hot.
00:27:22.460
Well, and here's the secret to look past the hot factor is just remember how stupid
00:27:28.360
you were at 27 and say, would I hang out with me at, at this age?
00:27:33.680
And the answer is no, I would not be hanging around me.
00:27:37.120
So what makes her any different other than her hotness?
00:27:40.860
Well, and I think that's the thing you really have to consider, you know, if you're going
00:27:44.340
to, if you, and I hope it's the case that you want to be in a long-term relationship
00:27:48.380
with this woman is you have to consider, is this somebody I actually enjoy being around?
00:27:55.900
Cause she's going to get some wrinkles and she's going to get a little saggy and you're
00:28:01.440
going to put on some weight and you're going to get wrinkles and that, that standard of
00:28:10.780
Now he's probably like, dang it, I wanted to date a 25 year old and he's 45 or something.
00:28:23.800
Caleb Johnson, uh, say you've screwed up and you've not been holding someone or a group
00:28:30.460
How do you switch to setting a line in the sand without looking like a hypocrite or like
00:28:44.220
He, he has not been holding people accountable, an accountability group.
00:28:48.300
I imagine it's maybe something in the iron council or something like that.
00:28:55.360
And he hasn't been holding them accountable because he's not living up to his word.
00:29:00.740
So he doesn't have any late, any room to stand on when he tells somebody to do something
00:29:05.780
And he hasn't been holding anybody accountable.
00:29:11.920
So this goes, this is where vulnerability comes in.
00:29:15.000
This is actually a proper use of vulnerability.
00:29:18.160
So Kip, let's say you're my subordinate at work, but maybe that's not the right.
00:29:35.900
And then all of a sudden I come to you and I'm like, Hey, you need to be here on time.
00:29:41.780
But, you know, instead of doing that, instead of being directive and this will apply, whether
00:29:45.840
it's business or family or, or friends is I might come to you and say, Hey Kip, you
00:29:51.780
know, I know that I have been slacking off lately.
00:29:55.560
I know I've been pretty weak on when I get here.
00:30:04.340
Not as productive as I should be when I'm here.
00:30:10.440
And I've been thinking about it for the past several weeks.
00:30:12.900
And I think my behavior has rubbed off on everybody else because what I'm seeing is I'm seeing
00:30:20.940
a trend of other people rolling in late and other people leaving in early and other people
00:30:27.280
So what we're going to do moving forward is we're all going to commit to each other right
00:30:32.240
now that we're going to be here on time and that we're going to leave on time and that
00:30:36.620
we're going to be productive in these certain ways.
00:30:38.500
And I'm going to hold you accountable to that because it's important to me.
00:30:44.080
And it's important to this organization and you are going to hold me accountable.
00:30:48.120
So if I'm not here, you have every right to say that I wasn't on time either.
00:30:59.320
You're using your humility in order to achieve a desired outcome.
00:31:07.460
You actually have to do it now because everybody's looking to you.
00:31:13.120
The only thing I would add as a consideration is why the change, like get present to the
00:31:19.740
change, not just like, Hey, I've been late and I've been slacking.
00:31:22.780
I want to go there because then it's like, I've been slacking and guess what, Ryan, you're
00:31:31.540
I haven't been showing up and it's affecting the organization and the team's performance in
00:31:38.160
And we're not going to be able to achieve our goals and be the successful team that
00:31:42.640
we want to be and hit our numbers if I'm showing up that way.
00:31:49.920
And I'm going to hold you guys accountable to ensure that I'm supporting you in showing
00:31:57.260
That way, the accountability isn't this form of attack, right?
00:32:03.320
But it's a support system to help others achieve greatness as well.
00:32:08.180
And I would, I would make it about something greater than ourselves and just us performing.
00:32:13.820
It's how we show up powerfully as a team and support the organization moving forward.
00:32:19.680
I, you know, I'd also add, if you can get buy-in from them again, whether it's your family or
00:32:24.480
team members, and you might say, so we really need to improve our performance.
00:32:34.120
What metrics can we all agree on that we ought to start looking at for productivity, accountability,
00:32:44.720
Now you might have to sprinkle your own thoughts in there, but they're, they're going to come
00:32:55.380
They're the ones that said, I want to be on time.
00:33:03.800
And when other people say it, they can't argue.
00:33:06.240
They're less inclined to argue against it, I should say.
00:33:14.480
How do you recommend being the decision maker in a family while also taking my wife's opinion
00:33:23.400
I need to step up as a leader in my household, but I don't want to come across as a dictator.
00:33:36.860
I want to lead the family to where we're going.
00:33:41.520
Is there, are there some things that you think would be able to help?
00:33:43.900
So, you know, I'm taking you into consideration as we're making these decisions.
00:33:48.180
Another one is just include her in the process.
00:33:50.080
To go back to what you said a minute ago is explain the why.
00:33:53.460
I really think we need to move this direction as a family.
00:33:55.880
We need to get together on a weekly basis and have a family meeting.
00:33:58.500
And I think it'd be really important for us to be able to connect with the kids.
00:34:01.820
And man, I feel like we're losing them as they get older.
00:34:04.500
And there's so many outside factors that are influencing them.
00:34:20.500
And then you let her give you some input on the way it should be done.
00:34:29.880
Or if she comes to you and says, Adam Lane Smith talks about this.
00:34:37.460
But he said, women are really good at identifying what's wrong.
00:34:43.500
And then men are good at being the CEO of the relationship.
00:34:46.160
So a woman might say to you, like, hey, you know what?
00:34:49.400
I just think we're struggling and we're not connected as much as we should be.
00:35:01.960
I think part of the reason that is is because I've been so busy with work.
00:35:04.940
But I understand you want to be more connected.
00:35:09.420
And then you come to her later that evening or you come to her tomorrow and say, hey,
00:35:12.280
I thought about three things that you and I could do to be more connected to each other.
00:35:15.420
I could be a little bit better with my professional schedule so that I get home at a more reasonable
00:35:30.920
And I thought that once a month or once a quarter, we take a little mini long, long weekend.
00:35:38.080
Would that, if we did that, would that help you feel more comfortable about being connected
00:35:53.400
And even with dates, it's as simple as saying, hey, hon, date night Friday.
00:36:05.320
Now, if she's allergic to shellfish, I wouldn't take her to Red Lobster.
00:36:10.160
Okay, that's what we're talking about when it's being decisive and taking her into consideration.
00:36:14.800
You don't need to ask her where she wants to go to dinner.
00:36:18.820
And if she's allergic to shellfish, she doesn't want to go to Red Lobster.
00:36:24.280
That's how you be decisive while taking her into consideration.
00:36:28.820
Do you feel that Red Camel, like his question, he says,
00:36:32.840
how do you recommend being a decision maker in the family?
00:36:37.480
Is it just he wants to lead and preside better than he is?
00:36:42.200
And is he mixing those two things together that it has to be his decision versus guiding a decision?
00:36:53.040
Well, so a leader, I don't think that a leader does everything.
00:37:04.180
You need to be the one to ensure everything gets accomplished and completed.
00:37:08.740
So there are going to be elements where you're going to delegate.
00:37:11.920
But I'm just telling you, women do not want to make decisions.
00:37:17.120
They already make enough decisions throughout the day.
00:37:19.380
And by the way, you're better as a man at making decisive decisions.
00:37:27.220
I'm saying you as a man are biologically hardwired to be decisive.
00:37:34.120
Get all the data, get all the facts, and then decide.
00:37:47.000
Like, for example, when your wife goes out with her friends and she comes back and you say,
00:37:59.120
Oh, Cindy's dealing with her grandmother who's passing away.
00:38:10.020
And then little Timmy, and I'm like, who's Timmy?
00:38:13.060
And they're like, oh, that's Stephanie's aunt's brother's sister got suspended from school.
00:38:24.680
I was just saying, like, did you have a good time?
00:38:28.880
And then, but then when men get together, here's what happens.
00:38:33.420
You come home and she says, hey, how was the night?
00:38:48.060
Well, what, like, are they, are they ready for Christmas?
00:38:59.500
But I beat him bowling or I outshot him at the pistol range or he kicked my ass at jujitsu.
00:39:06.000
But I decisively determined that they're good though, despite not knowing any of that stuff.
00:39:19.700
Women will laugh at men because they're like, you don't even know your friends.
00:39:22.620
I'm like, I know my friends just as well as you do.
00:39:26.620
And men will laugh at women because it's like, who cares about all that stuff?
00:39:39.600
I don't know a situation, but what I've seen a lot of the times is men will not be decisive
00:39:49.240
And their wife will assume the masculine role and she'll start being decisive.
00:39:54.160
And then he wants to figure out how to wrestle control back.
00:39:58.600
And he's having a hard time because she doesn't believe that he can, because he's proven time
00:40:05.760
And here's what happens in a lot of relationships.
00:40:14.360
And the man says, well, why is she making decisions?
00:40:20.980
So she felt that she was obligated to do it because if she didn't do it, nobody would do it.
00:40:27.060
And she just became the man in the relationship.
00:40:33.520
And then you try to start making decisions and then she's, then you're head to head battling,
00:40:42.620
So if that situation arises, you have to do that slowly.
00:40:47.680
If you're noticing yourself in an environment where your wife has been making the decisions
00:40:52.200
for years, then you need to start making decisions with little small things.
00:40:57.360
And it might be, Hey, um, I noticed that the fence needs to be repaired and I would like
00:41:18.080
But you also gave her a little bit of lead by saying, is there anything that you have planned
00:41:27.360
You have to get up out of bed before her without saying anything.
00:41:33.440
And you need to go to the lumber yard, go to the hardware store, get the stuff.
00:41:36.940
And when she wakes up or comes, gets ready for the day, you have to be working on the
00:41:43.080
You don't need to get, you know, your belly rubbed and pat it on the head and say how good
00:41:49.940
And then if you want to take her out, you say, Hey babe, I was thinking about Saturday
00:41:53.800
Um, man, there's this new restaurant in town or this new.
00:41:58.280
And I really wanted to take you out this weekend.
00:42:01.040
Um, I think this, this restaurant at seven o'clock would be good.
00:42:04.980
And, um, I can line up a babysitter, but does that work for your schedule?
00:42:10.000
Again, you're leading, but giving her autonomy because she's used to having it and you do
00:42:14.320
that enough and you can start doing it on bigger things down the road.
00:42:25.580
So he, he's mostly asking about working on tactics that are difficult.
00:42:32.220
He says he finds it easier, more satisfying to go for a run than to fix the garage, then
00:42:39.960
So any tips for not making the, not doing more enjoyable?
00:42:47.280
So kind of working on the harder tactics, right?
00:42:50.320
And not just doing all the, the things that we enjoy.
00:42:54.520
I mean, who wants to do stuff they don't like to do?
00:42:59.580
So you can either delegate it or do it and attach it to the outcome.
00:43:08.080
Cause some of these things, they just, if it doesn't need to be done, then don't worry
00:43:11.280
But if it does need to be done, you need to delegate it or, or attach it.
00:43:16.460
You can't unfortunately delegate exercising today.
00:43:19.560
Like you're the one that has to exercise today.
00:43:21.980
So I would, well, you can find something you enjoy.
00:43:28.720
But too many guys are like, well, I'm supposed to do jujitsu.
00:43:31.060
Cause that's what kept, I don't, yeah, I don't care if you, you can do it or you can
00:43:51.240
There's, there's ways, there's veins, but if you have to do it and you don't like doing
00:43:54.620
it, then just attach it to the outcome as best you can.
00:43:59.540
So I've delegated it, but there's still work I need to give.
00:44:06.200
I like not having to have extra tax liability looming over my head at times.
00:44:10.460
So when my accountant, my bookkeeper sends me a message and she says, what are these 10
00:44:19.860
It takes me 10 minutes and I send it to her and I'm like, good.
00:44:22.820
I need that to be done so I can run the business effectively.
00:44:25.640
So I think attaching to the outcome is going to help you do those hard to, hard to do things.
00:44:34.740
You know, so many people take on way too much stuff.
00:44:37.980
And then of course there's no room to do some of that.
00:44:42.900
You might be physically tired because you're not getting the proper sleep or you're not
00:44:48.600
And so everything kind of seems like a laborious chore.
00:44:54.940
I mean, for me, I just need to start taking action.
00:44:59.160
Like I don't want to clean the garage, but, but if I just don't overthink it and I just
00:45:08.400
That's not, you can do anything for 20 minutes.
00:45:16.000
You know, it, it feels worse thinking about it and trying to avoid it than it is actually
00:45:26.540
You could even break up these big, these bigger tasks into small manageable ones, like
00:45:33.740
You might say, I'm not going to clean the entire garage.
00:45:40.160
Like I have this little rack, the shelving system in my garage and it's a mess.
00:45:44.660
It's the, it's where I put all of my stuff when I'm too tired to put anything away.
00:45:52.120
And my whole garage is kind of messy, but I can go do that.
00:45:58.840
And then I can move to my tool chest and that would take me an hour and I could do that
00:46:03.740
And then I can go unwind and, you know, watch the game or play with my kids or whatever,
00:46:08.560
but at least I got a little bit done and there's so much value in being productive and working
00:46:14.340
I always find for me, I just time box it, you know, I'm like, Oh, my commitment this
00:46:23.800
And when time's up, you have to stop because what will happen is you'll get into it.
00:46:30.620
And then tomorrow you won't do it because you wasted so much time yesterday.
00:46:38.900
And then the next day you're like, Hey, just another 30 minutes.
00:46:44.480
That goes back to the first question about, um, being methodical, uh, not, not excelling
00:46:53.280
And, uh, just doing it consistently over long periods of time.
00:47:03.500
Even with our, uh, tech, my technical difficulties, not yours, my technical difficulties.
00:47:11.660
Uh, Ryan, you mentioned earlier, um, iron councils open.
00:47:21.840
Order of man.com slash iron council, uh, to band with us.
00:47:25.780
And of course connect with Ryan on the socials X and Instagram at Ryan Mickler.
00:47:34.580
Well, I just, I wanted to talk about the iron council real quick, and I wanted to do it in
00:47:38.040
a way that we were talking with, uh, I can't remember who asked the question about how to,
00:47:42.340
or we started talking about how to present this information.
00:47:44.940
And I'm going to give you a real world example specifically as it relates to iron council.
00:47:51.180
I want you guys to ask yourselves as you're thinking about this.
00:47:53.760
Have I ever felt like I'm destined for more, but don't know where to start?
00:48:01.780
Have you ever felt like you're doing life alone?
00:48:06.700
You're taking everything on, nobody's on your team, everything's against you, and you just
00:48:13.440
feel deflated because you aren't able to get as far down the road as you'd like.
00:48:18.360
Cause you're the one having to deal with and do everything.
00:48:23.720
Have you ever been committed to something deeply, deeply committed?
00:48:29.760
So excited about it, deeply committed to improving your relationship or improving your finances,
00:48:35.100
getting on top of things, feeling good about yourself, and you're really good for a week
00:48:40.400
or two, and then you slip back into old patterns and you feel worse about yourself than what you
00:48:47.620
did before you even started the thing because you failed yet again.
00:48:53.500
Those are the reasons you need to join the iron council.
00:48:55.740
If you said yes to any of those questions, that's why you should band with us.
00:49:03.700
You have systems that will actually let you tap into the full potential that exists inside of you.
00:49:12.080
And if you're saying those things, especially over and over again, about this time of year,
00:49:17.240
the posts that I hear and the phrases people say is, 2025 was my warmup, 2026 is the year.
00:49:25.160
Well, damn, dude, how many warmup years do you need?
00:49:33.700
This year, nothing, unless you do something different.
00:49:37.720
And that's where I think we might be able to help.
00:49:43.080
I always, that's how, where I always go with this is like, well, I'm going to start in the gym
00:49:51.580
And if you can't say what's different, then the probable future is you're going to keep doing
00:50:00.340
I think that was, I think that was a Khaled who was asking the question earlier, if I
00:50:04.760
remember correctly, but, uh, that's, that's how you communicate value.
00:50:11.360
And that's the value of course, that the iron council brings.
00:50:13.900
So killed two birds with one stone, gave you an example, encourage you guys to band with
00:50:18.000
Guys, we appreciate you, uh, really great interview that just released yesterday with
00:50:23.780
If you haven't, uh, listened to it, go back and listen to it.
00:50:30.560
Um, leave us a rating review and share this with a brother who needs it.
00:50:34.600
Guys, we'll be back on Friday until then go out there, take action and become the man.
00:50:38.160
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:50:42.320
You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:50:46.300
We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.