Order of Man - The 'Let's Find Out Mentality, Establishing Boundaries, and Controlling the Controllables ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 It's interesting when you ask men what's important to them and they say,

00:00:03.180 oh, my family's important, my health is important, my career, my financial success is important.

00:00:08.720 I'm like, cool, pull up your calendar and pull up your bank account, show me.

00:00:12.260 And you look at their calendar and they say their family's important,

00:00:14.860 but there's nothing on the schedule for kids' games or time with the kids or a vacation with

00:00:19.460 the kids. It's like, well, I thought you said your family's important. Well, yeah,

00:00:22.260 they're important, but like I have these other things to do. It's like, okay,

00:00:24.760 so they're not as important as you're saying. Or they'll say their health's important. I'm

00:00:27.760 like, cool, jump on the scale. Kip, what's up, man? So good to see you. Looking forward to,

00:00:34.380 we got some good questions from Facebook and we got some great questions over in the Iron Council,

00:00:38.360 I believe as well. So looking forward to digging into these today.

00:00:42.520 Yeah, me too, actually. I was looking over these during my morning workout and I'm like, man,

00:00:47.160 great questions again. And we said this last week, the questions from the guys were solid.

00:00:52.060 So props to you guys for getting some good questions in for us to discuss. And I'm

00:00:57.740 always interested. I know it sounds funny for me to say this because we've, we've addressed

00:01:01.920 questions for how many years now? Yeah. Maybe nine, eight years, nine, probably eight or nine.

00:01:08.100 That's right. A long time. And even now I still like, Hmm, I wonder, like, I'm interested in hearing

00:01:14.280 what you have to say and what comes out of some of these questions, even after so many years. So

00:01:18.860 yeah. And yeah, it's, we do get some repeats, like we get themes, but a lot of the questions

00:01:24.380 that we get are, they tend to be new. And, and I agree. I don't know if we're just, we laughed

00:01:28.900 everybody out who was asking dumb questions and what's left is the guys who are asking more

00:01:33.440 sophisticated questions or if the issues are deeper or we're just getting older. So other guys 0.64

00:01:38.840 are getting older and they're asking more mature questions. I don't know. I don't know what it is,

00:01:42.260 but it does seem like that to me too. Let me ask you this. Isn't it interesting, or I find it

00:01:48.080 interesting that perhaps the themes that show up in questions are more about where we are in life

00:01:54.380 than it is actually the question itself. Have you seen that, right? Where you're focused in on a,

00:02:02.260 well, sometimes we focus in on a subject, right? So let's say, you know, you're hyper focused on

00:02:08.320 being self-aware and what's required to drive self-awareness. And then people ask questions and

00:02:13.860 you're like, ah, self-awareness is the answer, right? And it's more about where I'm at and what

00:02:19.280 I'm focused on than really the trend of the questions themselves. Yeah. I mean, that's probably

00:02:25.820 true. It also makes me wonder now that you say that how many times we misrepresent questions and we

00:02:30.640 hear what we want to hear because we're focused on an answer that we already have to the question.

00:02:35.560 And that's actually part of the reason that I do like to do it off the cuff a little bit,

00:02:40.140 as opposed to actually go in and know exactly what those questions are ahead of time. But it is

00:02:46.080 interesting because last week there was a couple of questions that stumped me that I hadn't thought

00:02:50.880 about. And I'm like, oh man, maybe I should research and prepare a little bit more, but then

00:02:56.500 it's just not as organic. It's not like a conversation. I don't go into a conversation with a

00:03:00.800 friend. I'm like, Hey, bud, I've got a list of 10 topics and points that I wanted to talk with you

00:03:05.100 about today. It's like, no, you just go over and shoot the breeze and catch up. And I kind of like

00:03:09.060 that, that stuff too, but you're probably right. We probably do not just with questions, but in life

00:03:15.660 filter what people are saying to us and what we see around us and the experiences that we have

00:03:21.860 through the lens of what we're currently dealing with. Absolutely. Yeah. It's interesting. It has a

00:03:27.360 name. This has a name. It's, it's the analogy of you're deciding to drop, you know, buy a Ford

00:03:33.600 pickup. And all of a sudden now you see Ford pickups all the time. That that's really what

00:03:37.320 we're talking about. Whatever that is called. Do you remember? Well, there's, yeah, there's

00:03:41.260 reticular activation, I believe is one thing. I think that's what it's called reticular act. I could

00:03:45.940 be wrong, but you guys can look it up. But I think that's what it is, is that, yeah, like you said,

00:03:50.600 I'm going to go buy a Ford Raptor. All of a sudden, everybody has a Ford Raptor. It's like,

00:03:54.180 no, everybody already had one before. Now you're just hyper aware of it. There's that,

00:03:58.980 but then there's also a confirmation bias too, right? Which is, which is a cognitive behavior

00:04:03.620 where we are looking to validate our own opinions and thoughts. And so we filter it through that lens

00:04:10.660 and everything begins to look like a hammer because we have a nail that needs to be nailed

00:04:14.720 in. Right. So. And what's so great about it. And then we have technology like Google and AI that

00:04:19.760 just even confirms us even more that we're in the right stage and geez, man, is it important

00:04:25.880 that we're self-evaluating? Well, and that's, that's what we're actually talking about in the

00:04:30.420 iron council this month. Well, for the month of March is, um, rethinking your position, which is

00:04:36.500 Rick, he does a great job on our, on our topics. He must've wrote this one directly for me. Cause

00:04:42.000 anybody who's knows me and who has spent any time or even interacted with me on social media

00:04:47.660 knows that what is my very principled stance in certain things. And that's a positive can become

00:04:55.740 stubbornness and digging in my heels in, in, in a negative manifestation of that trait.

00:05:02.500 Yeah. You actually don't know this Ryan, but there's like this whole sub web of the iron council

00:05:08.520 where men roll up feedback to Rick about what they, what you need to improve on as the founder.

00:05:15.380 And then, and then Rick builds the curriculum for you really. And we're all here just building

00:05:20.940 you. Yeah. I'll take it. You guys do a good job with it. So just keep it quiet and, uh, don't,

00:05:28.360 don't tell me, just deceive me. I'd, I'd much rather that be the case.

00:05:32.420 That's awesome. All right. So we're going to field questions. Let's let's hop into it, man. It's a

00:05:36.440 Shane Newman is our first a gentleman. What is one thing you have adamant, adamant, you are adamant.

00:05:45.040 Your children will know how to do that. You wish your father had taught you.

00:05:50.740 Hmm. I actually did see this one. And the thing that came to mind pretty quickly for me is that

00:05:57.540 I want my children to be able to take calculated risks. Now, my dad wasn't really in my life

00:06:05.020 permanently. You know, he's out of the picture by the time I was three, we always had a pretty

00:06:09.720 decent relationship. I'd go see him in the summer and spend time with him, but he was so talented.

00:06:15.020 He, he worked in paint. He was a salesman. People loved him. And I remember times where he felt like

00:06:21.500 he's, he had said, and maybe I'm just making this up, but it seems like he said he wanted to do things

00:06:25.740 on his own. He wanted to go out and start his own company, but he always worked with, um, big

00:06:30.940 distributors, paint suppliers, that sort of thing. And, oh, he was so gifted and talented when it came

00:06:37.400 to connecting with people, which is obviously a huge component of being a successful business owner.

00:06:44.320 And he never did it. And I don't know why, maybe he didn't want to fully. I mean, we never had this

00:06:49.840 conversation. Maybe he was just comfortable with where he was in life, but he never did it.

00:06:55.160 And I don't live like that. If I have an idea, if I have a, something that seems worthy of pursuit,

00:07:00.840 then I'm going to try it. And I'm going to put my money where my mouth is, and I'm going to take

00:07:05.080 a risk and I'm going to go big. And people will always say, well, you know, what if it doesn't

00:07:09.600 work out? What if it doesn't work out? What's okay. And, and then I pivot back to what I was doing

00:07:16.400 or pivot to something else, but what if it does work out? So I've always embraced, I think always,

00:07:22.920 yeah, I think I've always embraced this. Let's find out mentality is what I call it. So that when

00:07:29.680 your internal dialogue is saying, Oh, what if it doesn't work? It might not work. Maybe this is

00:07:35.420 not a good idea. Yeah. Maybe it's not, but let's find out. I would rather find out and go down in a

00:07:41.900 blaze of glory, then go down in a blaze of glory or not a blaze of glory, go down silently and quietly.

00:07:47.780 Yeah. So I want my kids to know that I want my kids to see it. I want them to know the risks.

00:07:55.340 I want them to be able to calculate risks and I want them to go big and bold in their lives towards

00:08:00.720 the pursuits they're excited about. Has that been conscious for you or subconscious? Like I was

00:08:07.300 thinking about this Shane's question is like, man, there's, there's elements of that I'm certainly

00:08:11.180 doing, but I never tied it to the fact that my dad didn't. Was that intentional on your part?

00:08:18.340 No, I don't, I don't think it was. I think it must, if anything, it was either my personality.

00:08:23.040 It's probably a bit of nature versus nurture, but if it was nurture, meaning I saw him doing

00:08:28.680 something that I thought he could have done better than it was subconsciously crafted in to who I am.

00:08:37.240 I don't think as a kid, I deliberately said, I'm not going to, I'm actually, but you know what?

00:08:42.220 I hear stories of guys who are, they're like, yeah, my dad was this way. And I just, you, you've

00:08:47.040 talked about it and I didn't want to be that way. Or I wanted to follow this, but I didn't want to

00:08:51.360 follow that. You've talked about consciously making those decisions. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I love this

00:08:57.560 question, Shane. It really causes me to like, what, what am I intentionally doing to, and making sure my

00:09:03.280 kids learn something and it's out of, in spite of, or the modeling from my father. And I haven't

00:09:11.880 never really thought about it. And this sounds a little cheesy, but the first thing is that they

00:09:16.560 know me. Like it was very interesting. I remember as a kid, I was talking with like a cousin or

00:09:25.580 something and your guy, and the, he said, man, your dad, he actually was a pretty good water skier.

00:09:30.500 And I'm like, I about died. I'm like, what? My dad's been on a boat. He had fun. What are you

00:09:39.240 joking? He's like, Oh yeah. He used to water ski a Paiute Lake. I'm like, no way. We're talking

00:09:44.860 about the same person because the man I knew all he did is farm. That's it. I never saw that guy to

00:09:52.940 go to a movie theater. I never saw him go to an event. I'm not even sure if I've seen him at a party

00:09:59.300 before, or even friends at the house. It was always, he's in the field and maybe someone drives

00:10:04.440 by and goes, talks to, talks to him and stops him on the tractor. And they chat a little bit. Like

00:10:09.000 that was the extent of like knowing him, if that makes sense. And so one thing is like, no, do my

00:10:15.680 kids know? I overly share where, what, where I was and stories about me and who I am. And it's not,

00:10:24.280 right. It's just connection. Right. I want to, I think I'm making sure that I have strong connection

00:10:29.520 with my kids. And the other thing that comes to mind, Shane, for me is, um, I don't know why it's

00:10:37.080 more so with my youngest than, and, and, but I, but there's an element of fighting. I never, I never,

00:10:42.840 I was never taught how to fight when, when I was a kid or how to defend myself. And, and, uh,

00:10:51.300 I don't know if anyone, I don't think I've ever mentioned this. I got in fights all the time,

00:10:56.540 all the time as a kid. Um, and nine times out of 10, I got my ass whooped. I didn't win any of 0.99

00:11:04.940 those fights. I got destroyed on a regular basis. We moved a lot when, as a kid. And I remember every

00:11:11.120 single time moving, I was like, all right, move. And I liked some girls and the, and a bunch of boys

00:11:16.660 hated me. Like that was like, what happens immediately. Right. And, and you'd, you'd have

00:11:21.200 to throw down eventually before you had any friends that were, that were boys is you had to

00:11:27.600 like prove yourself. It seemed like, and I hated it as a kid, but man, I had no idea how to defend

00:11:32.260 myself. And, and so there's an element of that for sure. And all my boys, they've all done jujitsu

00:11:37.360 at one point when they were younger, my older boys, and then I'm probably leaning it in a little

00:11:42.680 heavier on Koa. Um, and you know, and he has zero issues with physical conflict, which I'm,

00:11:52.840 I'm proud to say. Right. And it might be, I mean, I know, I know him too. And it might be some of his

00:11:57.600 personality. Like he's just a little fireball, you know what I mean? So it's hilarious. Like when he

00:12:03.620 plays with my older boys, like he'll go up and just like punch them and whack them with sticks. And 0.96

00:12:08.720 the boys are like, why is he, why is this kid bullying me? It's so funny. What's wrong with

00:12:12.220 this kid? Yeah. It's probably a little too much. Tell your boys, sorry. No, they think it's funny.

00:12:18.880 You dial it back. Well, and you know, Breckin, he's such a big kid in this little,

00:12:23.520 this little, what is he? Seven year old, seven years old now is like little seven year old is

00:12:27.660 like beating him up and bullying him around. It's so funny to me. Yeah. And Breckin's adding to it.

00:12:33.760 He's like, come on, you little, you know? Oh yeah. So it just invites it. Yeah. He eggs it on.

00:12:37.820 Yeah, that's right. All right. Uh, Daryl Hahn, could you talk about why so many men feel that

00:12:44.540 things, uh, life, et cetera, are out of their control? I don't feel that way anymore or any

00:12:50.960 longer, but for the long time I did. I actually think most things are outside of our control.

00:12:57.360 I mean, that's how I feel. Daryl's saying he doesn't feel that way. I guess you could look at

00:13:02.760 it in two different ways. There's, well, there's out of your control and there's out of control,

00:13:10.000 right? So those are almost two different things. This is outside of my control and this is out of

00:13:16.240 control. Those are two different phrases to me. Outside of your control means that you can influence

00:13:23.160 your health. You can influence your family dynamic. You can influence your career aspirations and you

00:13:29.460 should be influencing. Well, you are influencing those, whether you realize it or not, it's just a

00:13:33.760 matter of how, but out of control means that you aren't doing what you need to be doing in order to

00:13:41.820 stack the odds. And that's how I refer to it. Most of life is beyond your control, whether it's picking

00:13:49.540 up clients, growing a business, worrying about your health, but I can stack the odds in my favor.

00:13:54.500 Could I get sick at some point and develop terminal cancer? Absolutely. That happens to people who are 0.78

00:14:04.360 genuinely healthy too, but you can stack the odds. And I think if more men focused on not what is

00:14:13.580 outside of their control, but the things that are. So not worrying so much about the outcome of your

00:14:19.040 health, but living a healthy life, knowing that it will inevitably lead to better results for you.

00:14:26.860 I remember when I was doing my financial planning practice very early in my career,

00:14:30.980 I was so confused. I was frustrated. I wasn't growing the business. It was really difficult. And

00:14:37.980 I can't remember, I ended up partnering up with a mentor in the office and he was talking to me about

00:14:46.880 our daily activities. And he said, Ryan, just make 20 calls a day, just 20 calls per day and let the

00:14:54.460 rest take care of itself. Now, granted, you need to know our products and know strategies and learn.

00:15:00.240 Yes, absolutely. But if you just make 20 calls per day, then the rest of this will all sort itself out.

00:15:08.260 And lo and behold, as I made those phone calls and as I communicated with those potential clients,

00:15:13.980 everything else seemed to work itself out. So I'm a huge proponent of stacking the odds,

00:15:20.620 not worrying about the things that are out of our control and trying to get things back in control

00:15:26.240 by focusing on what we can do. Let's rephrase Daryl's question. If you don't mind, Daryl,

00:15:32.080 right? It's not so much, could we talk or could you talk about why so many men feel that things are

00:15:37.680 outside their control? Why do they focus on things outside of their control, right? Why is that the

00:15:44.460 focus, right? And I think that's what's valuable because you're right, right? Many things are

00:15:50.380 outside of our control, but I think what really Daryl's getting at, and it's a sense of disempowerment

00:15:54.780 and victim thinking is when people double down on what's outside their control, what's the human

00:16:00.280 behavior that causes people to focus their vote versus focusing on their health, on their wellbeing,

00:16:09.340 on their household, how they're showing up and their integrity? Why do I focus so much on everybody

00:16:14.800 else's? And, and I don't know if you want to answer that first, Ryan, but I have some thoughts on what

00:16:19.840 the human behavior is. Well, when you were saying that, you said it's, it's a sense of empowerment to,

00:16:24.980 to not focus on, to only focus on what you can control. I actually would contend, tell me what

00:16:30.740 you think of this. I would contend with that assertion a little bit. I actually think that

00:16:35.880 there is a perceived, perceived is the keyword, a perceived sense of empowerment in people playing

00:16:42.920 the victim and people focusing on things that are beyond their control. I mean, there has to be some

00:16:48.860 psychological benefit or human beings wouldn't do it. So what is the benefit? It's, it's perceived

00:16:55.640 empowerment. It's that I get to absolve myself of the responsibility of doing work and therefore I'm

00:17:01.280 free. It's not my fault. There's nothing I did or didn't do. And, and so a person could potentially

00:17:09.920 feel like they're empowered by that because the reality is that if you aren't experiencing the results

00:17:16.060 that you want in your life, largely it has to do with you. Now there might be isolated experiences

00:17:22.000 like you randomly lose your job and it has literally nothing to do with you. But if you get fired every

00:17:29.680 two years from your job for the past 10 years, then that 100% has to do with you. You were the only

00:17:36.360 common denominator in the equation. And so if you just say, Hey, the economy's bad. The president

00:17:42.260 inflation, my boss is a jerk. I was in the wrong thing. Nobody helped me. People were out to get 1.00

00:17:47.780 me. There was backbiting and infighting in the office. That's perceived empowerment. I'm power.

00:17:52.740 I'm good. No, it was nothing. I did. It was something somebody else or some other factor had in my life.

00:18:00.480 Yeah, I see that. I think it's just a use of the word differently. I think here's the key though,

00:18:06.100 is when people latch onto that, then they're being acted upon. This way of thinking is

00:18:14.500 things are happening to me. And even though it resolves me of responsibility, it starts getting

00:18:22.140 exhausting because it's like, why does this always happen? And this is happening. And there's a sense

00:18:28.300 of, I can't do anything about it. And that's where I latch onto the language of it is disempowered

00:18:34.300 because I feel hopeless. There's a sense of hopelessness in it. And so to your point, right?

00:18:41.160 Darrell, why do people do that? Because it's easier. It's way easier. If this doesn't work,

00:18:46.680 it's not my fault, right? If I got fired, there's nothing I could have done. I don't have to take

00:18:51.300 responsibility. I don't have to look in the mirror and address my shortcomings. That's the payoff.

00:18:56.780 And there's a sense of empowerment that comes or let's use maybe a different word. I don't know a

00:19:02.860 different word other than empowerment, but there's a sense of, I'm going to use it anyway. I can't

00:19:09.280 even think of another word for it, but there's a sense of empowerment when we focus on what we can't

00:19:14.840 control. Why? Because we're starting to move. What am I going to do about it? What are my options? And

00:19:20.400 then what is the by-product to add that? Growth. And that's the most biggest thing about this entire

00:19:26.840 conversation is if you don't self-evaluate, if you don't ever consider your responsibility in

00:19:35.100 something, then there is no growth for you. And this is why, Ryan, we've talked about this in the

00:19:40.840 past with other people. It's like one of the top things you can do when you get divorced, I don't

00:19:46.720 care how bad your spouse was. Figure out your role in it. Figure out your role in the divorce and what

00:19:56.880 you could have done different. And that's how you have a healthy relationship with difficult things.

00:20:01.860 That's how we can rewrite the script of a bad childhood, learn from it and become this awesome

00:20:07.560 version of yourself. And then you won't be upset about the past anymore. You'll look at the past and

00:20:12.500 go, I know it's kind of crazy and it was hard times, but man, I'm kind of grateful for it. Why?

00:20:18.060 Because it made me the man I am. Oh, that's how you step into empowerment regardless of past

00:20:26.140 experiences. I pulled up some synonyms for empowerment. And by the way, I wasn't contending

00:20:33.680 with the use of the word. I was just telling people that there's a perceived sense of empowerment.

00:20:42.500 Right. It's, but what you're talking about is actual empowerment, empowering yourself,

00:20:48.900 giving yourself the power. But when you don't do that, it's a perceived, it's a faulty sense of

00:20:54.500 empowerment. But here's a couple of words and I love words. Words are so important. Here's a couple

00:20:59.880 that come to mind. Well, I just pulled it up off chat GPT that I like. One is activation. That was a good

00:21:05.920 one. Mobilization. Oh, energizing. Sovereignty. I like this one. And I don't know why it's standing

00:21:15.260 out to me right now. Authority. And I like that word because I just, I'm looking at the root word,

00:21:20.540 which is obviously author. You are the author of your life. So take authority of it.

00:21:25.860 It gives you agency. Yeah. Agency, authority. Agency, yeah. It empowers you to own it. Those

00:21:31.520 are other words. Ownership, agency, dominion, command. So liberation, actualization. I don't

00:21:41.040 know. There's some cool thoughts in there, but yeah, I think we're on the same page, but yeah,

00:21:45.480 it's because it's easier. And yes, you are getting something from it. Otherwise you wouldn't do it.

00:21:50.140 Yeah. Yeah, totally. Great question, Daryl. Isn't Daryl such a great guy? I actually really

00:21:58.140 appreciate him in many ways. All right. Thomas Dollar, if you have a career that you love and

00:22:08.520 for him, it's firefighting, but also businesses that all have bigger earning potential, how do you

00:22:15.520 choose? The main thing that makes it difficult for me is that I want a better life for my business

00:22:20.840 ownership. But I also would be sad to say I'm not firefighter anymore if I made that choice. So I

00:22:28.020 guess simplified purpose versus monetary value. I mean, solid question. I know a lot of guys deal

00:22:33.540 with this. I'll give you some advice. One thing, one thing, one exercise I always encourage people to do

00:22:41.460 is we can do this because we're sentient conscious beings is we have the ability to

00:22:48.720 be self-aware so that we can project ourselves out to a future date and time. And even circumstance,

00:22:55.580 we could put ourselves visually in a different circumstance. So what I want people to do when

00:23:00.040 they're wrestling with this question is to put yourself out 20 or 30 years. And that 20 or 30 year

00:23:05.420 older version of you, I want now to look back on the last 20 to 30 years and ask yourself,

00:23:10.480 what decision would you be happy or fulfilled with that you made? Now it's not a, it's not a

00:23:18.400 science. It's just a reflective process that gives you a new insight and perspective that you probably

00:23:24.500 haven't considered yet. Looking back, what decision will you be happy that you made? That's, that's one

00:23:29.660 exercise I always encourage people to do. But the real answer to your question is that I don't agree

00:23:35.620 with the premise of it. You're presenting a false dichotomy. Yeah. You're saying that I can only

00:23:42.220 pursue purpose or alternatively financial prosperity and abundance. What's the third option? And here's a

00:23:52.460 few ideas for you. You can keep firefighting to the degree that you are, and you can start a business

00:23:57.460 on the side and do it in your spare time. And you can hire employees and you can teach and train your,

00:24:03.300 your people and business partners to do that business. So it's creating and generating potential

00:24:09.040 wealth for you. Maybe that business could even be that you are training firefighter, firefighters

00:24:16.660 online about a certain aspect of the vocation. And you're teaching them about how to use their

00:24:23.660 equipment properly and better, more efficient techniques for breaching doors. And maybe you

00:24:30.840 start running events where once a month or once a quarter, you bring 20 firefighters in

00:24:35.880 locally or regionally, and you bring experts in the firefighting arena. And you say, Hey,

00:24:40.540 we're having this guy and this guy and this guy come in and you charge a thousand or 1500 to bring

00:24:45.280 these guys in. And you do that once a quarter. Another option is maybe you say, Hey, I'm going to

00:24:51.920 actually go full bore into the business, whether it's firefighter related or not, I'm going to go all the

00:24:56.820 way into the business, but I'm going to volunteer at the local fire department. Um, once a month,

00:25:02.200 I'm just going to do volunteer firefighting, or I'm going to go, um, be on the search and rescue team,

00:25:07.480 you know, in my local area. And so you still have that attachment to it while you're over here running

00:25:13.180 the business. So I would just caution you and warn you a little bit, not to operate in the false

00:25:19.960 dichotomy, figure out a way to do both. And yeah, I know it'll take some time and it'll, there will be

00:25:29.160 a sacrifice that needs to be made. And so what? I mean, this is what I, we opened the conversation

00:25:36.400 with of taking a risk, putting yourself out there, being calculated and seeing where something really

00:25:42.280 powerful could potentially take you. But I would look for the, I would look for the third option in this

00:25:47.740 scenario coupled with the, um, reflection exercise I told you about. Yeah. I love that. I mean,

00:25:57.680 maybe even the firefighting ends up being part of the brand. Right. And, and the fact that you're a

00:26:03.100 firefighter and you have this company is what sells the company's brand is you being a firefighter. I

00:26:09.580 mean, so yeah, I mean, get creative, but yeah, there's a couple of organizations and man, I'm hesitant

00:26:16.460 to say this, but a guy by the name of Ryan Rodriguez, um, owns a podcast that is, I think teaches men's

00:26:23.180 leadership principles. And I'm, I'm going to butcher it, but I want to say it's called forged in fire.

00:26:27.520 He's a firefighter and he's taking his firefighting principles and he's teaching men how to be better

00:26:32.740 leaders through the principle he's learned through fighting fires. Uh, there's another one fit to fight

00:26:37.980 fire. Uh, John, John, I think is his name fit. I think it's called fit to fight fire. And he's a

00:26:44.420 firefighter in very, very good shape. I mean, you look at the guy and he's a physical specimen

00:26:48.940 and he goes around and he talks with firefighters in his podcast, in his brand about how to train

00:26:55.980 properly with their equipment on, with their mask on, with their oxygen tanks on. He's putting

00:27:00.720 together workouts for firefighters to do in their spare time. So there's a lot, there's a lot that

00:27:05.520 you can do here. Yeah. And just to reiterate it, if he stopped being a firefighter, it wouldn't sell

00:27:12.420 as good. Right. Like that's part of the deal, right? Like him being a firefighter is what is

00:27:18.540 making that possible or probably a little bit more appealing to that, right? To that niche. So

00:27:23.140 all right. Jay, uh, McKellen, McKelleny. Are you able to change your mind when new data overrides

00:27:33.580 previously believed evidence? Why would I do that? I already know everything.

00:27:37.900 Not easily. That's for sure. Yeah. Well, am I able to? Yes. Will I? Probably not.

00:27:50.160 Maybe for Jay, what are some tips, right? Like how do we, how do we, what are some ideas that you can

00:27:57.620 give the guys around overriding our previous beliefs when evidence, um, presents maybe that we

00:28:04.880 should, right? That there should be. Well, I would first ask yourself, what is the objective

00:28:10.360 in, in, in one aspect of life? What is the objective? So Pete Roberts, he founded Origin

00:28:17.180 and he's a business partner with Jocko Willink. And Pete told me this was years ago. I can't remember

00:28:23.240 exactly what we were talking about, but Jocko at the time was really the face of Origin and Jocko

00:28:28.480 Fuel. And he still is. And Pete is behind the scenes. He's a visionary. He's so intelligent,

00:28:35.240 very creative, thoughtful about how he does all this. He's a marketing genius, but he wasn't at

00:28:40.920 the time, the face of it. He is more involved in that now. And I, I asked him, I said, how do you,

00:28:46.960 how do you like handle disputes? How do you, if, if you guys don't agree on something, how do you

00:28:53.280 decide which direction to go? And he told me that Jocko is, is very humble in this way. And so is

00:29:01.580 Pete. I know that he said, Ryan, we know that the objective is to win. And that's the only thing that

00:29:09.180 matters. So whether it's my idea or his idea, or even a new hire's idea, if we think it'll help us

00:29:18.320 win, it doesn't matter who gets credit for it. It doesn't matter whose idea it was. It doesn't

00:29:24.260 matter if I'm offended because they didn't choose my idea. Our only objective is to win.

00:29:31.680 And I think if we do that, Stephen Covey talks about starting with the end in mind,

00:29:36.040 then I think we're going to be naturally more receptive to the things that are going to help

00:29:40.760 us win, whatever winning looks like for you. So if I'm with fatherhood, for example,

00:29:48.320 I want to raise self-sufficient human beings. That that's my objective. I've often said,

00:29:54.900 I want to render myself obsolete. That is my goal. And I will do whatever I need to do

00:30:01.060 to ensure that's the case. And that, if that means self-evaluation, if that means apologizing

00:30:05.700 because I dropped the ball or did it wrong, I apologize plenty of times to my kids, then that's

00:30:10.600 exactly what I'll do because my ego will keep me from accomplishing what I want to accomplish,

00:30:15.400 raising self-sufficient human beings. So that's part of it. What is the, what is the objective?

00:30:20.360 Start with the end in mind. The other part is surround yourself with people who you like and

00:30:26.340 who are credible. Because Kip, if you're in my orbit or I'm in your orbit and you're not credible

00:30:33.760 and, or I don't like you, I'm significantly less likely to take your advice. But if I think highly of

00:30:40.660 you, I respect you, I see how you're performing in your life, you have credentials because of the

00:30:47.340 way you're showing up with your family or your business or some aspect, I am much more open and

00:30:52.420 receptive to the things that you tell me, Kip, than some guy on the internet who I don't know a dang

00:30:58.460 thing about. That person has not earned that right to give me that advice. I just don't take it. It could

00:31:05.760 be right. I'm not saying it's not, but I'm going to take it with less weight than somebody in my inner

00:31:10.580 circle. And that's part of the reason it's so important that we as men build a band of brothers

00:31:16.300 of good men, righteous men, virtuous men, successful men, healthy men, family men, God-believing men,

00:31:24.260 because that's the advice that you're going to take. You're going to be open and receptive and

00:31:29.620 you're going to be open to influence from them. So make sure your circle is, is good. Make sure it's

00:31:34.920 tight. Make sure you're spending time in the right circles. That's going to have a huge impact on your

00:31:38.940 life. I love it. You know, the other thing that comes to mind, Ryan, is like just the power of

00:31:45.120 being a curious person. Just be curious. It's crazy to me how often, and maybe it's me, but I think a lot

00:31:55.660 of us do this is we, we operate usually always in this space of good, bad, shouldn't, should.

00:32:04.160 It was like, it should be this way or no, it should be this way. Nope. That's not, that's wrong. No,

00:32:08.280 this is right. And maybe we dial that back a little bit and just go, I don't know. Not enough

00:32:15.000 information. That's interesting. I'm really curious why. And just operate in this space of curiosity.

00:32:21.480 And I think that opens us up to learn and evolve and change, and then not tie everything to our

00:32:29.140 identity and our ego, right? A lot of the time when we are operating in this space of right and wrong,

00:32:35.380 it's, it's almost a self, a self validation that we're right and they're wrong versus neither.

00:32:44.940 I'm not really sure. I don't have enough information. I'm curious why they do that versus

00:32:48.920 why I do this. That's interesting. And, and detach that from your identity and maybe latch

00:32:55.680 onto this identity that, that we don't know, or I'm curious, you know, and then we can seek it out.

00:33:01.200 And I think that helps us not tie everything to, to our egos. I think that's a good, as you were

00:33:06.200 saying that one thing that came to mind is we've often heard the person asking the questions is the

00:33:11.000 one who's in charge or directing the conversation, right? And sometimes we, as men, I am notorious for

00:33:17.580 this want to show up as credible and powerful and the leader and the one in charge. And so it becomes

00:33:23.360 very directive as opposed to curious, but the opposite is actually true. The one asking the

00:33:29.980 questions is the one guiding and leading and directing the conversation in the tone of your

00:33:34.800 experience. So I never really put that together until you said that, but yeah, curiosity means that

00:33:40.640 you're actually the one in charge because you get to direct how conversations go, what information you

00:33:48.120 learn, the movement of an organization. I mean, even if you're asking your direct supervisor, if

00:33:54.360 you're asking the questions, you're dictating the tone of the conversation. And he, he is a secondary

00:33:59.980 role to that when you're asking those questions and you got to be careful how you do it. You don't want

00:34:04.020 to undermine authority or you don't want to ask like, for example, people will ask very disingenuous

00:34:11.140 questions and, and that manipulative. And one of the questions I often, I, I know what it is,

00:34:19.800 especially online. If anybody ever says and starts a question with, so, and then they give me their

00:34:28.160 question. I know they're not being, they're being disingenuous. It's not a legitimate question.

00:34:32.660 Yeah. You're making a statement and you're trying to make a point. You're not really asking the

00:34:36.500 question. Or, or either that, or you're about to either manipulate and misconstrue my words or

00:34:42.080 present an argument that I wasn't debating. It's a very, it's a very telltale sign that you're not a

00:34:47.840 serious, curious person. So what you're saying, no, not doing, I don't answer those questions

00:34:54.900 because I know what those questions are. Yeah. That's funny. All right. Travis Beattie,

00:35:01.900 do you have a recommended investment account that parents should open for their kids that can help

00:35:06.940 with college and their futures? Yeah. Like a, a educational safe. And that's been so long. Um,

00:35:12.940 what, what's a five 29 plan. Is that what it's called? Gosh, it has been so long. You're nerding

00:35:19.100 out now. I think it's a fit. Is that what it is? Yeah. Okay. Yes, it is. The five 29. That's actually a

00:35:25.380 pretty cool program. You have to look at how it works in your state, because I think if I remember

00:35:30.160 correctly, it's a, it's a, it's a state sponsored plan or state endorsed plan. I don't know that

00:35:37.480 it's a federal plan necessarily. Um, but that is to save for future educational costs. So that could

00:35:44.200 be college post-secondary education, K through 12 education, even student loan repayments. And the

00:35:50.660 cool thing about it is it's all tax deferred. So when you put money into the account and you'll have to

00:35:55.720 check your state for how much money you can put in, but you can put that money into this five 29 plan

00:36:02.300 and you can choose your investments inside of that plan. Um, and then when you pull it out, as long

00:36:07.640 as it's for qualified, uh, educational expenses, you can use it tax free. And again, check the

00:36:14.280 stipulations, work with your CPA, look at your state guidelines on this. As far as I understand,

00:36:20.180 if you have your son, your oldest son, let's say he decides he's not going to go to college.

00:36:26.700 If I understand correctly, you're able to change the beneficiary to another child. So if he, if he

00:36:33.160 doesn't qualify for these funds for education, then you can, um, transfer it to another, to another

00:36:40.620 child. So you could do that. That's one thing you could do. Um, another thing you could do is you

00:36:45.820 could actually gift your child a certain amount of money. And again, you're, I don't keep up to date

00:36:50.800 with this. So you're going to have to look at how much you can gift on an annual basis to your

00:36:55.420 children, but you can gift them. Let's say it's don't quote me on this, but let's say it's $4,000 a

00:37:01.220 year. You can gift that to them, put it in a minor. Um, uh, I think it's called a custodial account.

00:37:10.320 Again, like I'm so, I'm so rusty with all this stuff, but maybe a custodial account where it

00:37:16.540 grows and grows and grows. The downside of that is let's say you did that starting when they're

00:37:22.200 eight years old and now they're 18 and you've been putting in hypothetically $4,000 for 10 years.

00:37:28.240 That's 40 grand. Let's say it's grown to $55,000 over that time. When they hit 18 at custodial account

00:37:34.160 becomes theirs. So at 18, they're getting a $55,000 access to a $55,000 account in this scenario

00:37:43.920 and they can do whatever they want with it. So that's something to be aware of. The other thing

00:37:49.700 you could do is you could put your kid to work. I, I pay my kids and I pay them because they help me

00:37:57.280 with store orders. That's to be a legitimate thing, but I pay them. And then I talk with them about how to

00:38:02.360 save that money. I reduce my tax burden. I'm helping them learn about how money works and taxes and

00:38:08.100 everything else. And as long as it's under a certain amount, they don't pay taxes at all. But if it's

00:38:12.700 over a certain amount, it's going to be significantly less than what I pay in taxes. And that's like that,

00:38:19.700 that amount that you can pay them is significantly higher. So there's a few ideas. Yeah. I think it's

00:38:26.440 almost up to like 15,000. I was going to say 14 is what I was going to say. I don't know why 14 comes to

00:38:30.500 mine, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. Good stuff. All right. John Marino. He says, I took a great

00:38:40.120 part-time job teaching basic electricity this past September. It was given to a top pay of the pay

00:38:48.000 scale for the job listing. That being said, I know it's a good $10 an hour lower than what I should be

00:38:54.280 getting paid. Regardless, I have thought about going in for a yearly review in September, but now

00:39:00.600 I'm thinking about asking for a review before the summer semester starts. One thing is for sure. I'm

00:39:06.620 not getting a review unless I advocate for myself. Wait a year or ask before summer semester. I'm

00:39:12.620 leaning before summer. I'm a little confused about the first part of it again. So read that again. I'm

00:39:18.060 just trying to wrap my head around that. Yeah. Yeah. I'll summarize it really quick. He he's

00:39:23.260 teaching, he's teaching electricity and they they're paying him at the top of this pay scale

00:39:30.580 of what the job listing was. However, he knows that regardless of that pay scale, he should be

00:39:37.200 probably being, be making more according to the market. And so he's like, Hey, should I ask for a

00:39:43.300 review now or wait? Um, until, I mean, if they're already paying the top of the pay scale, I don't

00:39:48.340 know how you know that, but maybe that's documented somewhere. They usually give a range. Yeah. They

00:39:55.200 usually give it a range if they're doing job postings and they're transparent. Yeah. So what is,

00:39:59.380 what is going to going in for a performance review going to do for you right now? I'm not saying don't

00:40:04.520 do it, but what you're saying is to go in for the performance review to ask for a raise. What if

00:40:08.180 you're capped out? Are you, but if, if you're not and there's upward potential with that, then I would

00:40:14.580 say, you know, yeah, go, go ask for a review, but don't go in it with the expectation. I mean, go in

00:40:22.680 it with what you want to get out of it, which in this case sounds like a raise. So, so what I would

00:40:27.320 do is I would go in and Kip, if I'm coming to talk with you, it'd be like, Hey boss, you know, I wanted

00:40:31.180 to sit down with you. I appreciate you taking time. Um, I just wanted to do a performance review. I know

00:40:35.980 where we're at on the pay scale and also know what I'm providing to the organization. And, um, I'd like

00:40:42.020 to talk with you about the possibility of an increase in pay. And I came prepared to tell you

00:40:47.760 why I think that's in your best interest and then just explain what, what you bring and, and, and how

00:40:54.080 it works and why it's so beneficial for the company and what's in it for you and let the chips fall where

00:40:59.800 they may. That's what I would do. Yeah. I mean, Joe, the reality of it is, is, you know, I don't

00:41:07.100 know how large the organization is right. That you're working for, but the amount of comp increase

00:41:12.740 has already probably been identified past December in regards to what their budgets are for increases.

00:41:20.500 So this isn't about what you deserve. This is also about what the company is allocated for that seat,

00:41:27.660 right? You might be worth 10 more, but guess what? They're willing to pay X. So what you're asking

00:41:34.960 for is not what they're willing to pay. Like, you know, so look at the bigger picture of it.

00:41:40.020 One thing's for sure. Do not wait and have this loaded approach to like, I'm going to go in

00:41:46.640 and have a review and get a pay raise. No, no, no. Today, schedule a meeting tomorrow and talk to

00:41:53.100 someone and say, Hey, I want to get a pay increase this year. Is that even possible? And what would

00:41:59.800 you need to see to feel good about it and to be able to justify it out of our budget and then work

00:42:05.900 into it? But you sideswip me like, you know, we're going throughout the year. And then all of a sudden

00:42:10.320 you come in with a PowerPoint presentation, telling me about how you deserve a raise. I'm annoyed.

00:42:14.940 Right. But if we had a conversation earlier in the year and you brought me on and said, Hey,

00:42:21.680 Hey boss, man, I really want to pay increase. I think I deserve it. But you tell me what do you

00:42:27.860 need to see to, so you feel good about it. And then you fulfill the requirements that I gave you for the

00:42:36.040 last six months. Now you're holding me accountable, right? To what I said I would do if you did what you

00:42:43.160 did. We, we have alignment officially, right? But right now you're, if you wait to do that all at

00:42:49.160 once, you're not aligned. You have expectations and they're not even aware of those expectations,

00:42:54.700 right? And you guys may not even be on the same page and may not even be an option. And so

00:42:58.680 you also don't want to be busting your tail for the last six months, right? And then go in and not

00:43:03.500 get the raise. It's like, you should know that upfront if they're even willing. And maybe you jump

00:43:07.440 ship and go somewhere else because it's not even an option for you. Well, and this is part of the

00:43:12.000 reason that I say you should always be networking. I tell people this all the time. People think that

00:43:17.140 they're so safe in their jobs and you are not either because you could get let go or because

00:43:22.160 you decide you don't want to be there anymore. Your job is not guaranteed. You don't have a right.

00:43:27.200 Some people say I have a right to fair and equal pay. What are you talking about? You don't have a

00:43:31.020 right to that. You have to go out and earn that. And one of the things that so many men often overlook

00:43:36.060 is this, this idea, they do it in marriage too. You know, guys get into marriages and they lose

00:43:42.780 their friends and they lose their hobbies and they start putting on weight and they don't do the

00:43:46.280 things that attracted them to their wife in the first place. Well, how'd you get the job? You knew

00:43:50.300 somebody and all of a sudden you get into a job and you're not happy or the company's not happy and

00:43:56.540 you get terminated or you decide to leave. And like, what's your backup plan? Do you know other

00:44:02.840 companies? Have you networked with other people? Do you know business owners? Are you well known in

00:44:07.180 your industry? If you're not, then that's scary. That's risk that you don't need to take. So always

00:44:13.520 be networking. But I was going to go back. It's interesting, Kip, because Jay earlier asked the

00:44:17.820 question, are you able to change your mind? And what information do you need to change your mind?

00:44:23.140 Well, here's a perfect example of it. What you said was way better than what I said. So if you guys

00:44:29.220 are listening to this, I like Kip's idea better. And that's where I'm changing my mind. The fact

00:44:33.720 that you're not going to go in there because my idea was like, oh, just go talk to him and tell

00:44:36.880 him. And you're like, well, hold on. Let's flank this a little bit. Let's be a little strategic about

00:44:41.160 this. And to me, that's way better advice than I gave. So I'm glad you brought that up.

00:44:47.540 Look at that. Changes his mind in line right here, just on the podcast. Let it be known

00:44:53.980 across the interwebs. Ryan Mickler. Hey, keep it up. And I'll ask Chad to just cut that whole part

00:44:59.160 out of the conversation, Kip. All right. You don't need to dance on my grave. Just say thank you.

00:45:04.520 That's all. Thank you. Appreciate it. Josh Sutton, have you ever had to lose a friendship because of

00:45:12.900 his wife's behavior? It has always seemed she wears the pants and is controlling of his life and his 1.00

00:45:19.020 views on life. They have even lost the relationship with their own parents over her behavior. Would 0.63

00:45:23.960 you try to reconcile the friendship? Well, I'm asking this with respect. It's not going to sound

00:45:33.280 super respectful, but why do you, why do you care about their dynamic? Is he your friend or is he not

00:45:40.240 your friend? I mean, talk, talk with your buddy or whatever and say, Hey dude, like, are you doing

00:45:45.440 okay? Like, it seems like things aren't going well within the dynamic of your relationship, but

00:45:49.780 I'm not quite sure how that translates to him not being a good friend. Maybe it does. I don't know

00:45:55.580 why. I don't know what it would be, but if it were me, it's based on what I hear. So there's probably

00:46:01.480 more to the story, but based on what I'm hearing, I can't see losing a friendship like that unless

00:46:07.760 there's some boundaries that she's crossing your own personal boundaries. She can cross his 0.53

00:46:12.560 boundaries. That's not my responsibility. Like if your wife, Kip, if she crossed your boundaries, 0.95

00:46:18.660 like that's for you to figure out, I can still be your friend and I can be there and be supportive

00:46:24.240 and we got to have a good time. But if she crosses my boundaries, then we might have an issue. And so

00:46:29.720 maybe that's what's happened. And in that case, I would talk with my, I would talk with you again.

00:46:35.220 Let's do here. I'll give you an example. If Asia, um, I don't even know what she would do. Let's say 0.99

00:46:41.260 like she stuck her nose in my business or she undermined me in my relationship or something 0.68

00:46:46.660 like that. Yeah. Yeah. I would talk, I would talk with you first. You're my friend, not her. So I

00:46:52.100 would, I wouldn't go straight to her. I would tell you, I'd be like, Hey Kip, can I talk with you 0.53

00:46:57.300 about something a little sensitive? And I would, I'd think because we have a friendship, you'd say,

00:47:02.720 I'd say, Hey, look, like I had this incident happen and I was talking with, with my girlfriend

00:47:08.800 and she had said that she heard some things from Asia that undermined our relationship. And I don't

00:47:16.300 know the entire context and I'm not even accusing Asia of doing that, but I want to let you know

00:47:22.400 what I'm hearing. And maybe you can figure out on your end, because if that is what happened,

00:47:29.900 that's not acceptable for me. And I just want to make sure we address it and we're able to move

00:47:34.680 forward in friendship. That's how I would address something like that. So am I, do you think I'm

00:47:39.920 missing something with this question? No, I don't think so. I mean, unless maybe what Josh is asking

00:47:44.860 is like the package deal, right? So let's say, I don't know. I just can't stand your spouse. 1.00

00:47:52.640 She just rubs me wrong. Right. And I'm just like, dude, I have zero desire to hang out with her.

00:47:58.040 I don't stop hanging out with you. Right. I just don't ask you to go on double dates. Right. I'm like,

00:48:04.200 you know, I'm good with our friendship being guy time. I'm probably less likely to invite you and

00:48:10.420 your spouse over for dinner or date night with my wife. Right. Cause she's not my style. I've done 1.00

00:48:15.680 that numerous times with my friends where I don't care much about their spouse, but I like them,

00:48:20.520 but I still have a relationship with them. So maybe that's what he's saying.

00:48:24.660 I also think be honest with that, which might be a hard conversation, but if you're friends,

00:48:28.720 it's like, again, if I'm talking to you, Kip, it's like, Hey man, like you already know

00:48:33.320 if Asia and I butt heads when we're together, like you already know that.

00:48:37.100 Yeah. And so I might come to you and say, Hey man, like, you know, you invite me over for fight

00:48:41.320 nights and dinners and stuff like that. And I just got to tell you, I think it's, it's time for me

00:48:45.220 just to take a little break from that dynamic. Cause every time I come over, I don't, I don't want

00:48:49.940 to fight with your wife. I don't want to have contention. I just want to like enjoy life, but man,

00:48:55.240 I still want you to come over for fight nights and I still want to go on the hunt and I still want to

00:48:59.040 golf this weekend, but we need to figure some things out. Cause it's not a good dynamic and

00:49:03.560 it probably puts you Kip in a weird spot too. Doesn't it? Totally. And if you said that, I'd be

00:49:08.320 like, I know, like I was feeling all of that too. So thank you. That makes things a lot easier for us

00:49:14.720 to understand and be on the same page. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't, I don't think you're the,

00:49:20.640 based on what I know about what you're asking, I don't think you're the point where it's like,

00:49:23.420 I'm going to lose my friendship over it. I just don't see that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Last question.

00:49:28.620 If that's okay. Um, Jordan flatty, what role do we play in correcting the larger Epstein ring issue?

00:49:39.640 What role do you play? Well, be, be public and vocal about what you see. That's important.

00:49:45.780 Don't be crazy. That's important. So many people are crazy and then they lose all credibility. I'm 0.85

00:49:50.280 like, you sound crazy. You sound unhinged. And even if you're right, nobody believes you. Cause 1.00

00:49:55.680 you sound like a crazy person. That's what people don't understand. You see that all the time on 0.99

00:50:00.160 social media and they act insane. And then they share, they share things and you're like, actually,

00:50:05.560 that looks pretty credible, but you sound like a psychotic person. So I can't take you seriously. 0.92

00:50:11.520 So I think that would be important, but talk about it, talk about it with your friends and then get

00:50:18.180 involved in politics. Talk with your, your, your city council, your, your, your state politics and

00:50:24.080 politicians, reach out to your elected representatives, get, get people enlisted in

00:50:29.640 ousting some of these people from office. Like the more that I know guys say all the time, they're

00:50:35.420 like, Oh, I don't want to get into politics because of X, Y, and Z. It's like, well, politics wants to be

00:50:39.840 involved in your business. So you better be involved to some degree in the business of politics.

00:50:44.960 And so you rally people around, you talk openly and vocal about it. Um, you support organizations

00:50:51.720 and companies that are bringing truth to these things. You know, Sean Ryan comes to mind,

00:50:55.980 like support what Sean Ryan is doing. He's bringing all sorts of truth to not only this, but

00:51:00.840 the military industrial complex and government, uh, corruption and everything else that we see.

00:51:06.600 Um, Ian Wendt is another one who's doing the same thing, talking about the Epstein files. And

00:51:11.980 he gets a little bit conspiracy theory, but it's still interesting stuff. And he's a good friend

00:51:19.100 of mine and support Ian Wendt. Like there's things that you can do to be involved and people that you

00:51:25.240 can support when it comes to this, to these things. I don't want to say it's out of your hands,

00:51:30.020 but you, you cannot directly impact it, but you can indirectly. And the more men you rally around

00:51:36.000 these important issues to you, whether it's the Epstein files or, uh, you know, open borders

00:51:41.540 or, you know, name it, name your issue, foreign wars, um, monetary corruption, like whatever your

00:51:49.920 issue is, start enlisting people into the cause of, of what you believe.

00:51:54.400 Totally. What counsel do you give Ryan, right? Around like that pendulum swinging, right? And,

00:52:03.440 and you're the guy that just gets so wrapped up into politics that we kind of lose ourselves in it

00:52:08.880 and we're not empowered. We're now just victims of it. And it's controlling us in a negative way. Like

00:52:15.840 where's the balance of get involved, take some action, do something about it, but don't,

00:52:22.000 don't, you know, let it suck you in, right? What, what counsel do you have for the guys around that?

00:52:28.000 I think what happens when we get sucked into things like these, these, these types of issues

00:52:32.580 in an unhealthy way, what ends up happening is we just surround ourselves with other people and we

00:52:38.760 just talk about it all the time. And we just work ourselves up, we get riled up and then we never do

00:52:44.520 anything about it. It's, it's interesting when you, when you ask men what's important to them and they

00:52:49.400 say, Oh, my family's important. My health is important. My career, my financial success is

00:52:55.660 important. I'm like, cool. Pull up your calendar and pull up your bank account. Show me. And you

00:53:02.420 look at their calendar and they say their family's important, but there there's nothing on the

00:53:06.920 schedule for kids as games or time with the kids or a vacation with the kids. It's like, well, I

00:53:11.100 thought you said your family's important. Well, well, yeah, they're important, but like I have these

00:53:15.380 other things to do. It's like, okay, so they're not as important as you're saying, or they'll say

00:53:19.440 their health's important. I'm like, cool. Jump on the scale. Let's, let's have a look. And you're,

00:53:24.500 you're 30 pounds overweight. You said, you said health was important to you. Well, no, no, no. Like

00:53:29.620 it's important, but like, I don't have time to go to the gym and eating healthy is expensive. Like,

00:53:35.860 okay, then it's not important to you. And it's the same thing with these issues. When guys just sit

00:53:41.740 in circles and they just verbally vomit all of this stuff to each other and get each other all

00:53:48.380 riled up and worked up, nothing's going to come of that. And so what I would say is if it really

00:53:56.420 is important to you get involved in something where you actually have somewhat of an impact

00:54:03.120 and maybe that's sitting on your local school board. And now you're focused on protecting children

00:54:09.100 from sexual misconduct. That's a, that's a good thing. Is it directly related to the Epstein

00:54:16.140 files? Not directly, but it's part of it. The, the sexual abuse of minors. Uh, maybe it's getting

00:54:25.040 elected to city council and putting some plans in place for under, uh, served children in the

00:54:32.240 community that are more susceptible to drug abuse, sexual abuse, all sorts of vile and disgusting

00:54:40.660 acts. You can do that, but don't say it's important. If all you're going to do is talk

00:54:45.240 about it, actually do something about it. Yeah. You know, it, um, that reminds me of the fact

00:54:53.600 that we have the men's forge event coming up in April, right? And that's an area by which

00:54:58.460 you can say, you know, these certain elements are important to me, right? You have Larry

00:55:03.100 Hagner coming, right? Well, with dad's dad edge, and it's probably going to talk about

00:55:07.700 what fatherhood, right? And how we show up in the home. And these, these are ways that

00:55:12.880 you can be banding with us with order of man, uh, and coming to this event as a way of doing

00:55:19.100 something about it. Right. It's easy, right? It's so easy. We've seen it over the years,

00:55:23.600 right? Guys saying these things are important to me and I need to do something, but, but action

00:55:28.220 doesn't show it. Right. And so whether it's joining the iron council or even promoting like

00:55:33.440 the guests that you've talked about, Ryan, just recently that you've had on the podcast and, or

00:55:38.760 joining us for the men's forge in April, these are ways that you can start getting on the court.

00:55:45.100 I always love this analogy. If you don't mind me sharing, this is most people are watching the game,

00:55:51.060 the game of life. They're sitting in the bleachers, watching it played. And, and they're like

00:55:57.240 most fans. Oh man, come on, you know, stop turning it over. Oh, look at the ref. Oh,

00:56:04.280 he made a mistake. Come on. You guys are better than that. Right? Like we're all coaching from the

00:56:08.440 sideline, but few people are willing to say, you know what? Put me in, put me in, let me show,

00:56:16.700 let me put in the reps and let me start controlling the outcome of the game instead of being a spectator.

00:56:22.440 And so one way that you can join the game and start playing the game is to go to the men's

00:56:27.480 forge.com sign up April 23rd to the 26th is that event later this year. Yeah. You know,

00:56:34.140 the other thing it does to Kip is it puts you in proximity to other men who are actually interested

00:56:38.660 in the same things that you are. You know, I can't tell you how many times I've seen in the iron

00:56:43.560 council and with the men's forge and other events that we've run where guys get together and they're

00:56:49.040 now buddies. Like they are inseparable buddies or I've seen business partnerships start because of

00:56:56.020 it. I've seen so many incredible things because you're putting yourself next to other men who are

00:57:01.920 aligned with the values and virtues that you're aligned with. It's pretty incredible.

00:57:06.780 Yeah. Amen to that. I, I, I'm a, I've had that through the years, right. Of going to our events that

00:57:13.020 I'm like, just like, I'm just a better man because I'm surrounding myself with better men and those

00:57:17.260 relationships get forged. Yeah, absolutely. I love it, man. Well, good guys. Great questions

00:57:22.700 today. I took a bunch of notes again. Awesome questions. I'm loving the questions. I really

00:57:26.780 like the direction we're going with these questions and that's a testament to what you guys are doing

00:57:30.440 and your thoughtfulness about wanting to be a better man for yourself, your family,

00:57:34.120 your community. So it means a lot that you have these good questions that you're asking and engaging.

00:57:39.220 Most of all, you know, biggest thing is take this information. And if you found something that was

00:57:44.780 useful for you, apply it. And if you heard something that you think is useful for somebody

00:57:50.180 else, another man in your life, share it. That's my ask of you outside of coming to the men's forge.

00:57:55.360 But guys, we'll be back next week for our interview until then go out there, take action and become a

00:57:59.500 man. You are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:58:04.920 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:58:09.580 of man dot com.

Order of Man - March 04, 2026

The 'Let's Find Out Mentality, Establishing Boundaries, and Controlling the Controllables ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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