Order of Man - December 18, 2020


The Loneliness of Leadership ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

29 minutes

Words per Minute

181.80687

Word Count

5,355

Sentence Count

354

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,
00:00:27.860 and I am the host and founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here. Welcome
00:00:32.680 back. Guys, I've got big plans for 2021. I don't want to dismiss the next, what, two weeks that we
00:00:39.340 have of this year, 2020. I've been thinking a lot about what we're going to do for the remainder of
00:00:45.520 2020, and I hope that the information that we continue to present to you is valuable and insightful
00:00:50.880 and helps you lead your life more effectively as a man. But 2021, I am so excited about. So
00:00:58.180 if you haven't subscribed, if you haven't left your rating and review for the podcast,
00:01:02.900 if you haven't banded with us on social media platforms, then I'm telling you, you're going
00:01:06.880 to want to do that right now. I've got travel plans. We've got several big, big guests coming
00:01:11.720 on. They're going to offer immense insight and value into their lives, which ideally will translate
00:01:16.960 into your life. And that's what we're doing here with the Order of Man podcast is translating
00:01:22.460 that information over to you. So then you can take that information and you can improve your life.
00:01:28.680 So we've had Marcus and Morgan Latrell on. We had Eddie Gallagher several weeks ago. I just recorded
00:01:35.960 it with Steven Ranella, which is coming out in the next week or two humble the poet. And I've got some
00:01:41.860 other guests lined up that I'm not going to disclose right now, but just subscribe. I'm
00:01:47.740 telling you guys, just subscribe right now. All right. I've got a good one lined up for you today.
00:01:51.980 I actually asked our Facebook group, what they wanted me to talk about for our Friday field notes.
00:01:57.520 I got a lot of great suggestions that on what we should talk about, but I got one specifically
00:02:03.180 from his name and I'm sorry if I butcher this, his name is Christopher Moynihan. I hope I pronounced
00:02:09.540 that correctly, but Christopher Moynihan, he wanted me to talk about the loneliness of leadership.
00:02:15.480 I thought that was a good subject because there's been times in my life as, as a leader of my family.
00:02:19.980 And of course this movement where I have felt lonely and isolated. So we're going to address that
00:02:24.900 today. But before I do, there's one other announcement that I've been kind of leading up to
00:02:30.320 for several months now. We're just one step closer. So I want to make you aware of this.
00:02:36.640 You guys have broken me down to the point where I have worked very, very closely with my good
00:02:43.660 friends at origin on creating, formulating, and launching our own 100% made and sourced in America
00:02:53.100 beard oil from the ingredients that go into the oil to the labels, to the packaging. In fact,
00:03:00.640 the packaging, which is this really cool cardboard packaging was done here in Maine. Everything is
00:03:07.040 sourced and made in America. And that's what of course origin is all about. So we're launching
00:03:12.820 our very first lineup. We've got a few new tweaks, a few new interesting things that you haven't seen
00:03:20.040 before, including a citronella scent. So guys, this is going to be awesome. And I'm asking for your
00:03:27.880 help if you have a beard and you have a beard oil that works great. But if you want to grow a beard
00:03:33.140 or you don't have a beard oil that you are, that you are a diehard of, and you feel like,
00:03:40.260 Hey, I want to try something new. And you want to support not only what we're doing here,
00:03:43.160 but support an organization, a company that makes and sources everything in America,
00:03:49.040 then I got to have you check out this beard oil. Now the challenge with this is,
00:03:53.780 this is a very new thing. We're just trying this out. I've partnered up with origin on this.
00:03:59.160 They've taken the lead I've consulted, but, uh, they've invested a lot of money in this,
00:04:04.520 but we've only got a very limited run. It's a very, very limited run. And like anything they do,
00:04:09.860 it's done extremely, extremely well. If you're even remotely interested, here's what I need you to do.
00:04:15.920 Go to originbeardoil.com. That's it. Just go right now. Just go to originbeardoil.com.
00:04:23.460 Drop in your email. We're going to give you some other information. There's going to be in some,
00:04:27.880 some incentives and some perks for those who have their name on that email.
00:04:33.440 And in all likelihood, based on what we see happening with our beard oil product is that
00:04:40.420 we'll burn through our first and our initial inventory very, very quickly. In fact, I'm
00:04:46.140 wondering if we'll even have an opportunity to get it out to the public because of the demand and
00:04:51.300 also because of the limited run that we have. So again, just go to originbeardoil.com. We're
00:04:55.840 going to release it to you guys who sign up first and then, and only then if there's anything left
00:05:01.900 over, then we'll release it to the public. So if you're interested in supporting an American
00:05:06.240 made manufacturing company, interested in supporting what we're doing here and interesting
00:05:10.780 in having, you know, a beautiful beard, right? That's what you want. You want, you don't want
00:05:15.420 a nice beard. You want it shaped well, you want it to look good. And of course you don't want the
00:05:19.140 itchiness that comes sometimes with having a beard. We're trying to solve all those problems. So
00:05:23.340 originbeardoil.com support us, support origin, support your beard. All right, guys, originbeardoil.com.
00:05:31.340 Now with that out of the way, let's talk about Christopher Moynihan's question or topic that
00:05:37.760 he wanted me to address today, which is the loneliness of leadership. And look guys, I know
00:05:42.880 it's lonely, you know, as, as, as a father, sometimes you feel like you, you don't have
00:05:48.440 somebody in your corner to be able to talk with these or talk about with these difficult and
00:05:54.780 demanding situations and circumstances at work. You know, you've got employees to care for,
00:06:00.080 you've got team members to provide for. And so it's, it's lonely. It doesn't get lonely
00:06:05.800 at the top at times if you do it incorrectly. So the title of the podcast is a little bit
00:06:12.520 of a misnomer because the title of the podcast is a loneliness of leadership. But if you do
00:06:17.140 this correctly, you won't be lonely. And so I believe that there's a misconception that
00:06:23.440 it's lonely at the top or that you have to be lonely at the top or that you're obligated
00:06:28.000 to walk this leadership path alone. You're not, you're not. If you do it correctly,
00:06:34.360 everything will be fine. You'll have men in your life. You'll have women in your life.
00:06:37.380 You'll have the relationships and you'll have everything that you need to support, the guidance,
00:06:40.900 the instruction, everything that you need to be able to thrive, not only as a man, but a
00:06:45.260 leader of your home and your business and your community. So what I want to do today is I thought
00:06:50.240 about what I wanted to address based on Christopher's question is give you some, some thoughts,
00:06:56.520 some ideas on how you can avoid feeling lonely. People, human beings are social creatures.
00:07:04.480 We don't want to feel lonely. We feel isolated. And in fact, up until relatively recently, if we were
00:07:09.640 alone and isolated, we run the risk of potentially being dead, right? We've always been social creatures
00:07:16.580 and we've always banded with other individuals in our tribe and our organizations and our communities
00:07:20.980 and our families to help us thrive. And so it's a, it's a, it's damaging to believe that you have to
00:07:31.660 be alone just because you're a leader. You don't now things have to change. And Jocko Willink talks
00:07:36.940 quite a bit about the dichotomy of leadership when it comes to being so close and not being totally
00:07:43.020 attached to your personnel and to your team, being close enough to, to, to be able to lead them
00:07:47.960 effectively, but distant enough to be able to keep yourself in, in the position of authority.
00:07:54.120 So there is a dichotomy here, but there's, there's ways to do this. And I'm going to explain it.
00:07:58.240 And what we need to understand first and foremost is that, you know, you're not always going to be
00:08:02.300 liked. You're not always going to be popular. A leader stands by his convictions and by his
00:08:08.360 principles and he casts vision and he helps people get to where they want to go or a place they could
00:08:14.320 not have imagined going on their own. That's what a leader does. And if you do that, you're going to
00:08:18.780 ruffle feathers. You're going to say things that aren't comfortable. You're going to ask things of
00:08:24.880 people that maybe they don't feel like they can do. They've never done. They don't fully understand.
00:08:31.840 And that's challenging. And if you get too close to these individuals, it becomes harder and harder.
00:08:38.060 You know, it's a, it's tempting to become friends and buddies with the people that you're leading,
00:08:43.200 but that's also a challenge because they take this relationship so casually and nonchalant that
00:08:49.380 it's a, that undermines and diminishes your ability to lead these people effectively,
00:08:54.260 to be able to ask them to do things that aren't comfortable, that are challenging,
00:08:58.720 that are difficult, that they don't think they can do. And so there is this dichotomy here,
00:09:03.300 but the first step to realizing that not only is leadership, can it be lonely, but how to overcome it
00:09:09.340 is that, um, creating and setting realistic expectations for your leadership,
00:09:13.720 right? Like if you think that you're just going to be able to buddy up to every,
00:09:19.400 we'll just say subordinate, and that could be a team leader or your, your child or your,
00:09:25.020 your, your employees, whatever. We'll just use the term subordinate for, for the sake of argument
00:09:31.120 right here. If you think you're just going to chum up and buddy up with those individuals,
00:09:34.320 that's an unrealistic, unrealistic expectation. The realistic expectation is that you won't be
00:09:40.800 able to chum up with them, that you won't be able to buddy up with them, that you're probably not
00:09:44.400 going to get invited to the things like, but you don't need that, right? Like you should be able to
00:09:50.480 have an external source of power. I'm going to get into that in a minute here, but you should have
00:09:56.600 some external source of the relationships and the information and the conversations and the
00:10:04.820 camaraderie that you need. But if you're looking for that from your team, you're going to set yourself
00:10:11.660 up for failure. You're going to feel isolated. You're going to feel let down and you're actually
00:10:16.300 going to undermine your ability to lead effectively. I say this quite often with my children. My job is
00:10:21.640 not to be my children's friend. Now I can be friendly. There's elements of being a friend that
00:10:29.480 go into leading effectively, but you're not your subordinates friends. You're not your daughter or
00:10:35.060 your son's friend. You're not your employee's friend. Okay. You're their employer. You're their team
00:10:43.680 leader. You're their father. And there's elements of that. There's elements of being friendly and kind
00:10:51.260 empathetic and understanding and just humane, just understanding their situation. But you're
00:10:58.160 you're in an elevated position. Fatherhood is an elevated position. It's better. It's more
00:11:03.280 significant. It's more meaningful than friends. So I'm never going to step off the pedestal of
00:11:08.380 masculine, excuse me, fatherhood and step down to this lower tier of friend. Why would I do that?
00:11:14.420 I'm never going to step down from this tier of leading the iron council, which is our exclusive
00:11:24.140 brotherhood. I'm never going to step down from leading this organization so that I can chum up
00:11:30.800 with you guys and be buddies. And I'm very clear about that. And you should be very clear about that.
00:11:36.820 And the people I lead are very clear about that. Now there's some that I'm closer to than others
00:11:40.880 because we've developed and built these relationships and that's bound to happen.
00:11:44.620 But I know where the boundaries are and I know what my role and responsibility is.
00:11:51.540 And so if you think that you're going to be buddy, buddy and chummy with everybody that you come in
00:11:57.660 contact with, and that if people just, you know, really like who you are, that you're going to be
00:12:01.900 able to lead them effectively. That's a false sense of expectations. And you're not only are you going
00:12:05.660 to let yourself down and be disappointed, you're going to let them down. And you're going to let the
00:12:10.520 team know. So people need to understand the boundaries. You need to understand what the
00:12:15.380 boundaries are and your subordinates need to understand what the boundaries are.
00:12:18.960 And when those boundaries get crossed or they get bumped up against, you're the one that needs
00:12:23.280 to enforce those boundaries. Now there's ways to do that tactfully. There's ways to do that,
00:12:28.900 that are meaningful and significant. And people see that, yes, you care, although you may not be a
00:12:33.620 friend to that individual, but that you're their employer or your father or whatever role you're
00:12:39.280 filling in. There's ways to do that tactfully, but you do have to uphold the boundaries.
00:12:44.740 You have to, because if you prove that you can be walked all over or that a subordinate can treat
00:12:51.580 you like a buddy, like my, every once in a while, my oldest son, cause he's, he's getting older now.
00:12:55.940 He's getting close to his teenage years. And he thinks, you know, he's trying to figure out where
00:12:59.600 the line is and identify his independence and all of this stuff. And while I can certainly appreciate
00:13:05.040 and understand that occasionally I have to remind him that I'm not your buddy. You don't talk to me
00:13:09.100 like I'm your friend. You remember who you're talking to. You're talking to your father,
00:13:14.260 which is significantly more important than any relationship that you'll ever have with your
00:13:20.520 buddy. So I'm not your buddy. We're friendly. We love each other. I love you. I support you. I,
00:13:26.720 I, I, I edify you up. I uplift you, but I also discipline you. So you remember who you're talking
00:13:33.780 to. That's just one small example of how you might not need to uphold the boundaries. Same thing with
00:13:38.680 a friend. You know, if you go out drinking and get wasted and sloshed on the weekend with an
00:13:45.620 employee, how do you think they're going to look at you when you get into the office and you ask them
00:13:48.920 to get that report to you on time? How's that going to work? Like he just saw you in the most
00:13:54.600 vulnerable position. He saw you acting like a complete asshole. He saw you lose all inhibition.
00:14:02.720 And then you think you're going to be able to have some, some level of authority and respect
00:14:07.200 with this individual. No, of course not. So don't place yourself in these, these positions,
00:14:13.380 clearly define the boundaries, what the expectations are, communicate those expectations,
00:14:18.320 and that's going to help. All right. So number two is find your own source of strength. See what I'll
00:14:24.120 see. I see a lot of men do is they'll turn to their wife. They'll turn to their kids. They'll
00:14:28.580 turn to their employees or their subordinates in some way. And they'll ask either consciously or
00:14:33.240 subconsciously for them to edify them, to uplift them, to provide them with some sort of significance
00:14:39.780 or meaning. And if I have to turn to my employees or my subordinates in that way, I diminish and I
00:14:46.860 undermine and I reduce credibility with those individuals because they see me as weak.
00:14:51.200 They see me as not having it figured out. And look guys, it's okay to be vulnerable at times.
00:14:57.780 I'm not telling you not to expose some of that. I'll have conversations with my boys and my daughter
00:15:03.860 about things, you know, mistakes that I've made and the ways that I'm trying to improve. And frankly,
00:15:08.940 I've apologized to my children at times for lashing out or becoming over reactional to a situation.
00:15:16.860 And I've tried to make amends. So I'm not suggesting that you don't be vulnerable.
00:15:21.380 I'm simply suggesting that you remember where you sit and where they sit.
00:15:28.460 And if you're constantly asking them either consciously or subconsciously to provide value
00:15:36.300 and meaning and significance and purpose and validation to your life, they're going to look
00:15:43.380 at you like a loser at worst at best. They're going to look at you as a peer and you're not a peer as a
00:15:49.140 leader. I'm not my child's peer. I'm not my employee's peer. I'm the team leader. I'm the owner of the
00:15:57.360 business. I'm the father that is not peer peer to peer relationships. So I can express some measure
00:16:05.480 of vulnerability when I think that it will serve them. And please understand that if I'm being
00:16:10.100 vulnerable for the sake of being vulnerable, because it's a buzzword and people think that's
00:16:14.320 what they're supposed to do. That's not really actually serving anybody. The only time that I'm
00:16:17.540 going to be vulnerable is because I think it might serve the people I'm trying to lead.
00:16:20.820 All right. There has to be purpose to your vulnerability, but I don't look to my kids for strength.
00:16:27.360 That's a, that's a weird to me, actually. Like, why would you look to your children for strength?
00:16:35.020 They're looking to you for strength, not the other way around, because if you're looking to them for
00:16:40.540 strength and then your leader, and that's not the dichot, that's not the, the, the dynamic.
00:16:46.120 That's not how it works. They're looking to you for leadership. So you have to go outside of this
00:16:51.300 and you have to look for your own strength somewhere else. And that could come in the form of hobbies,
00:16:55.680 activities, interests, pursuits, all these kinds of things. It could come in the, in the form of
00:17:01.480 finding other people, other men who aren't in your circle or who aren't your subordinates to be able
00:17:06.640 to lead and guide and instruct and coach and mentor and give you what you need mentally and physically.
00:17:11.420 But it doesn't happen in this circle over here. It happens in a completely different circle.
00:17:15.100 And so in a lot of ways, we need to isolate ourselves from the team, right? I need to isolate,
00:17:21.240 for example, even in my family, I isolate myself from my children, not physically isolate,
00:17:26.060 but mentally isolate. And so there's times where I'll say, Hey, you guys go to bed. And then that's
00:17:30.140 when my wife and I will talk about the dynamic of the family, but I don't talk about it with them.
00:17:36.380 My wife supports me. I support her. She gives me strength. I give her strength. And then we work
00:17:41.660 upon that strength and we feed off each other to lead our family effectively. It's the same thing
00:17:46.440 in business. You don't go to your subordinates and ask, Hey, can you help me with this? Because
00:17:50.420 I'm really struggling and I need your, no, you don't do that there. That's not to say you don't
00:17:54.520 need it. You just go find it somewhere else outside of this circle. And you go find it in a different
00:17:59.600 circle, which leads me to, um, point number three is evolve your band of brothers, evolve your
00:18:10.020 mentors, evolve your coaches and figure out ways to get around other people who you will
00:18:17.480 be led by. So I think in order to be an effective and a great leader, you also have to be able
00:18:22.960 to be led. If you're incapable of being led because you're too arrogant or you're too prideful
00:18:29.580 and you think you have it all figured out, then you'll never be able to effectively lead.
00:18:34.580 You need to understand what it's like to be a follower. You need to feel that you need
00:18:40.200 to experience that you need to be subordinate to somebody else. You have to, because if you're
00:18:49.060 not like, how can you ever extend, understand your subordinates position? You can't, you can't
00:18:57.860 ever understand what that's like. And so there's this just like butting heads in this contention,
00:19:03.080 like, why don't these people understand it? But if you're subordinate to somebody else,
00:19:06.880 maybe that's a coach or a mentor. Maybe that's another team leader. Maybe that's a peer of your
00:19:14.080 own. Maybe that's a higher spiritual power. Then you understand what it's like to follow,
00:19:20.380 which will give you a greater capacity to be able to lead because you can put yourself in these
00:19:25.140 individual shoes. So what you need, which is camaraderie and brotherhood and accountability
00:19:33.140 and insight, what you need can not and should not be provided by your subordinates. It should be
00:19:42.140 provided by your peers or those you've brought in to lead you. The greatest athletes in the world,
00:19:51.380 the highest performing entrepreneurs, the most successful people that you've ever seen.
00:19:56.180 They're not above having a coach. They're not above having a mentor. In fact, those individuals
00:20:02.340 understand more than other people, how powerful it is to have somebody in your corner who can tell you
00:20:08.560 what you need to be told, who can coach you, who can critique you, who can give you insight that you
00:20:13.680 can't see for yourself, but you have to get it from somewhere else. You can't get it from your
00:20:18.000 subordinates. You have to get it from somewhere else. And if you don't have a band of brothers
00:20:23.040 and you don't have peers and you don't have coaches and mentors, then you're leaving room on the table
00:20:27.600 for you to effectively lead others because you just don't understand what it's like.
00:20:31.780 And the fourth component of that is never get too great or important for this level of mentorship.
00:20:41.640 And this ties kind of into the point that I was just making, but you, you, you can't be too
00:20:46.740 important for mentorship guys. Like if you buy into your own bullshit, you're not going to serve
00:20:53.220 yourself or others well. And that's what you want to do as a leader, right? Like you want to lead
00:20:57.700 effectively. You want to help others get to a place they could not have imagined going on their own.
00:21:02.280 But if you've bought into your own hype and you believe that you've got it all figured out or that
00:21:07.540 you're important or more important than somebody else, then how is that going to affect your team?
00:21:13.000 It's going to affect it negatively, right? They're going to look at you, not as somebody who can lead
00:21:19.360 them effectively, but somebody, somebody who's delusional and arrogant and prideful and boastful.
00:21:25.020 And that undermines your trust and credibility and authority. So, although if we were to look at the
00:21:31.480 hierarchy of your organization or the hierarchy of your family, yes, technically in that hierarchy,
00:21:37.000 if you were to map it out, you would be above that individual, but never feel like you're more
00:21:41.860 important than a person. Never feel like you've got everything figured out and they have nothing
00:21:50.700 figured out. Understand that there's, there is a hierarchy. Yes. But the worth of a human can't
00:22:00.840 be measured, right? Like you're not more worthy as a human. You're intrinsic human value than another
00:22:08.220 person. You might bring more to the organization, but if you make people feel like dog shit,
00:22:13.440 they're not going to perform for you. So never be too great for humility. Never be too great to
00:22:21.200 realize that you don't have it all figured out and that it would actually behoove you to have other
00:22:26.600 advisors who could come in and consult and instruct and coach and lead. And you know what? Maybe you
00:22:32.300 recognize a team member who's exceptionally good at organization or exceptionally good at communication
00:22:38.560 or exceptionally good at presentation. Why would you be above bringing that individual in and saying,
00:22:44.800 okay, here's my role and responsibility as the team leader, but here's what I want you to do because
00:22:49.560 you are exceptionally good at this thing. The reason we wouldn't do that is because we're prideful,
00:22:55.000 right? Because if you bring somebody else in that potentially poses a threat to you and what you
00:23:02.320 can provide. I found the opposite to be true. As I bring people into the right places and I edify them
00:23:09.460 and I uplift them and I compliment them and I allow them to do what they're good at so they can thrive.
00:23:14.380 The team thrives. The team looks at me more favorably.
00:23:17.960 So you don't have to be lonely guys. You don't. I think you're going to be isolated to a degree.
00:23:29.320 That's just the nature of it. But if you're feeling lonely, then you're running in the wrong circles
00:23:34.340 or you don't have a circle at all. So as we wrap things up, let me recap and tell you what you need
00:23:39.900 to do. Number one, set realistic expectations between you and your team members. There's got to be a
00:23:45.340 degree of separation. If there isn't, sometimes you're too close and that undermines what the
00:23:49.320 team is trying to do. Number two is finding your own source of strength, hobbies, interest, activities,
00:23:56.540 pursuits, a band of brothers, other people, guys that, that have no relation to what you're doing
00:24:03.780 so that you can get close to those individuals and not so close to your teammates, which would
00:24:09.140 undermine your authority, credibility, and the betterment of the team. Number three, evolve that band
00:24:14.960 of brothers. So if we were again, to look at the hierarchy, you might have felt like you were here
00:24:20.020 at this level and maybe you got a promotion or maybe you started a business or maybe you had a
00:24:25.540 child. And so now you've evolved from that level of peers and you've evolved to up here or here or
00:24:32.420 here or here, right? So you've evolved past that. And as you do, it would be tempting to come back down
00:24:39.540 because you know, all these people, right? You know that, that the people that you've been
00:24:44.960 around forever and those are your peers now, but as you grow and those people don't, some of them
00:24:49.600 will, some of them won't. Let's say the ones that don't, are you going to come off that rung of
00:24:53.760 leadership so that you can be comfortable and around those people that you're familiar with?
00:24:58.060 No, of course not. You shouldn't anyways. What you should be constantly doing is evolving
00:25:02.640 your peers. So if you were here and now you're here, you need to find peers who are in this circle
00:25:08.600 and as you evolve, evolve, evolve. And so I see a lot of sense of, of, uh, misguided loyalty,
00:25:16.580 like, Oh, I've been friends with this guy for, you know, 40 years. And now I'm kind of moving on.
00:25:21.320 Well, yes, that's going to happen. You're going to have people who aren't going to move at the same
00:25:25.880 pace as you. That doesn't mean you can't be friendly, but your relationships are going to evolve
00:25:30.960 and you should evolve with that as well. And then the last thing is never be too great or
00:25:34.580 important for mentorship, never be too great or important to realize that other people might
00:25:41.280 have some things figured out that you don't, and they could actually serve you well and the team
00:25:45.220 well. And you give those people opportunities to thrive and you look for those opportunities from
00:25:51.640 other people, not necessarily in your peer group, but from people who are maybe more advanced or
00:25:56.380 better off or more capable than you are. And I think if you do those four things and you do those
00:26:02.100 things consistently and you embrace that, you don't have to be lonely. You know, people say,
00:26:07.360 Oh, it's lonely at the top. Only if you're not looking for other leaders, like people have gone
00:26:12.140 before you. If you think you're going to go somewhere, nobody has ever gone before.
00:26:17.760 That's probably not going to happen. Like other people have created businesses. Other people have
00:26:21.840 successful podcasts. Other people have been successful fathers. Find them. Those that's
00:26:27.180 your new group, right? So when I think about what I want to accomplish in this business,
00:26:31.140 I'm constantly looking for people who haven't figured out better than I do. And I spend time
00:26:35.100 with them and I buy their courses and I buy their programs and I get involved. And initially I call
00:26:39.300 them acquaintances. And over time I begin to call them friends and peers because of what we've been able
00:26:43.860 to accomplish together. So if you feel like you're lonely, it's because you're not incorporating
00:26:48.440 these things and you're looking to your team for some sort of validation or something that
00:26:54.460 frankly is not theirs to give. It's not appropriate. Okay. So look at those things that you need from
00:27:02.480 different sources. So you don't feel lonely. You have the mental and physical support. You have the
00:27:07.920 information. Then you can go instruct your team and then you can come back to your mentors and then go
00:27:11.300 instruct your team and so on and so forth. That's how you be an effective leader. And that's how you
00:27:16.080 avoid feeling lonely at the top. It's not lonely at the top. It's only lonely. If you're looking in
00:27:21.620 the wrong places, look in the right places, you will be much more successful. It will serve you
00:27:26.200 well. And ultimately it's going to serve your team better. The more capable you are, the more capable
00:27:31.520 your team will be. Okay. All right, guys. So again, that question was from, or the topic was from
00:27:36.840 Christopher Moynihan. If you guys are interested in submitting your own thoughts and ideas and questions
00:27:42.280 for our ask them anything or for Friday field notes, then join our Facebook group,
00:27:46.240 facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. If you're interested in having, uh, as luxurious a
00:27:52.500 beard as, as I, then go check out originbeardoil.com originbeardoil.com. Get subscribed, sign up.
00:28:02.400 We're going to let you know when it comes available, which I imagine will be in the next two to four
00:28:06.740 weeks. Uh, we got to get through Christmas and some other things with the planning, but, uh,
00:28:10.460 check it out originbeardoil.com sign up and, uh, be one of the first to know about this new product.
00:28:17.860 It's exciting that we have coming out. It's going to be a little bit unique than what you've seen
00:28:22.000 in the past. And it's a hundred percent sourced and made in America. All right, guys, that's what
00:28:26.540 I've got for you today. We'll be back next week. Uh, again, Steven Rinella is coming on humble.
00:28:31.980 The poet is coming on. Um, I've got like four other interviews that are all lined up and recorded.
00:28:37.220 Make sure you subscribe, leave a rating and review, and let's continue to get after it.
00:28:41.620 All right, guys, we'll be back next week. Until then, go out there, take action and become the
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00:28:57.280 We'll be right back.