Order of Man - The Only Thing That Matters is What You Actually Do

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly charge

00:00:04.940 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.280 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, or strong. This is your life. This is

00:00:16.840 who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.460 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.540 I'm the host and the founder of this, the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here today.

00:00:33.620 Thank you for tuning in. Most importantly, thank you for being men. It is apparent that the world

00:00:40.800 is in need of men. I mean, everywhere you look, you see guys who are 30, 35, 40, 50, 60 years old,

00:00:51.120 and yet they're not acting like men. They're acting like prepubescent little teenagers.

00:00:57.540 They whine and they cry and they snivel and they complain and they gripe and they moan about every

00:01:03.120 little thing and all the bad things that are happening to them and why their situation is

00:01:08.880 unique and why their situation is a product of some external existential crisis or set of

00:01:17.860 circumstances that they didn't create for themselves. They paint themselves as victims.

00:01:23.080 They cry about women. They cry about their bosses. They cry about the economy.

00:01:29.000 And at the end of the day, they're just complaining about everything that's going wrong in life without

00:01:33.720 taking a good hard look in the mirror and realizing that it's the guy staring back at them that is

00:01:41.920 creating most of the problems that they're dealing with. And I'm not immune to this. You're not immune to

00:01:48.260 this. I catch myself on certain days, even like today, I've done it where, you know, things happen

00:01:55.280 and I'm like, well, you know, if she wouldn't have done this or that guy wouldn't have done this or

00:01:59.980 this, the economy wouldn't have been this or this person would have done something different than my

00:02:05.700 life would be different. And maybe it would in the micro, but in the macro, in the grand scheme of

00:02:11.320 things, you are the product of your own choices, of your own decisions, of your own actions, and

00:02:19.140 you're reaping the benefit or the consequence of those decisions that you've made over decades of

00:02:26.800 your life, whether they're good consequences, good results, or negative consequences that you happen to

00:02:34.880 be dealing with. Today, I want to talk with you about something that I think is really, really

00:02:39.860 important. This is going to be a short, punchy podcast. I'm not in an awesome mood right now.

00:02:47.900 I'm a little feisty. I'm a little fiery. Maybe you hear it in my voice, but I want to share something

00:02:53.780 with you that I think is really important. And that is this. The only thing that moves the needle in your

00:03:00.320 life is what you do. It's not what you think about doing. It's not what you talk about doing.

00:03:07.040 It's not what you ponder and pontificating on doing. It's not what you plan on doing. It's not

00:03:14.640 your cleverly crafted blueprints and mission statements and vision statements and all the

00:03:24.860 daydreams and all the things that you have bouncing around in your brain that are going to produce the

00:03:30.360 results that you desire. It's none of that. It's going to work. It's doing the action. It's selling

00:03:38.060 something. It's asking the woman on a date. It's starting the business. It's going into the gym.

00:03:45.080 It's doing the thing that you least want to do. And Jordan Peterson sums this up because he's such a

00:03:52.400 great wordsmith pretty perfectly. And I'm going to butcher it, of course. But he says something to the

00:03:58.200 effect of the magic or the thing that you want most out of life is where you least want to look

00:04:06.680 for it. We spend so much time hiding, towering, running away from all of the things that we could

00:04:16.460 be doing that produce the very thing that we want. You want to be married and yet you run away from

00:04:22.600 women. You want to start a business and yet you complain about the economy. You want to get a

00:04:28.760 promotion and yet you punch in late and you leave early and you do the bare minimum and you don't get

00:04:35.200 your work done. Guys, you have to do the work. One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Theodore

00:04:43.180 Roosevelt and he says this, do what you can with what you've got where you are. That's it. That's my

00:04:53.780 message for you today. Do what you can with what you've got where you are. Too many times we think that

00:05:03.720 we follow somebody like Jordan Peterson or Jocko Willink or Andy Frisilla or Ed Milet or any number

00:05:14.840 of people that we follow and we're inspired by and we look up to and we think that we're going to just

00:05:23.680 naturally produce the same results that they are based on where they are in their life. The problem

00:05:30.800 with that is that if they're on a scale of A to Z, they might be on step Y or X and you're on step A

00:05:41.380 and you think that just because you happen to put forth an hour or a week or a month or even a year

00:05:49.280 or even 10 years that you're going to be able to produce the same results that these guys are producing

00:05:56.180 in their lives. I fall prey to it too. I've been podcasting for nine years. That's not an insignificant

00:06:02.580 amount of time in the grand scheme of things, especially as it relates to podcasting. That's

00:06:08.500 a pretty significant amount of time. And yet I'm not at the level that some of these guys are. And

00:06:14.960 there's a lot of reasons for that. Maybe they have a message that resonates more deeply with other

00:06:20.060 people. Maybe they have a greater ability to present it in a meaningful and significant way. Maybe they

00:06:26.480 just been doing it longer than me. I'm not entitled to their efforts or the blessing of their efforts. I'm

00:06:36.600 entitled to what I've earned, what I've created, good or bad. That's what I deserve. And if I want something

00:06:45.280 more, then I'm going to need to do something different. But guys, we've got to get over this idea that just

00:06:51.140 because we put in a little effort, that the results are just going to come flowing upon us like, like, you

00:06:58.620 know, rainbows floating down from heaven, bestowing on us all of the beautiful, wonderful blessings that we

00:07:05.520 think we deserve. We don't really deserve any of that. What we deserve is the product of our efforts for better or

00:07:14.040 worse. I think about it when it comes to hunting. I'm not a great hunter. I've been hunting for about

00:07:21.140 eight years. A couple of weeks ago, I made a really horrible shot on a beautiful buck. I would have loved

00:07:28.860 to have shot that buck. I would have loved to have broken them down. I would have loved to have eaten

00:07:33.420 them with my friends and family. And yet I made a bad shot because I wasn't prepared. I could have been

00:07:41.140 more prepared. I could have spent more time focused on making better shots. I could have spent more time

00:07:48.580 in a stand. I could have spent more time thinking about how that would play out and visualizing it.

00:07:57.680 And yet I didn't do it. And the results played out the way that they played out. Now, fortunately,

00:08:03.080 I was able to shoot two other deer. We won't get into the entire story of that because it's kind of

00:08:09.960 embarrassing. But I was able to harvest a couple of other deer. But that's what I deserve.

00:08:17.700 So what I want to challenge you as we move into this weekend is I want you to stop thinking

00:08:23.740 for a little bit. I know that sounds a little ironic considering this is a self-development,

00:08:31.900 self-help podcast. I want you to stop planning. I want you to stop thinking about what could

00:08:39.780 be. I want you to stop wondering if I do scenario A versus scenario B, what would that be like? And

00:08:49.560 what is the ultimate ramification of that? I want you to stop that for a minute. I'm talking about two

00:08:55.920 days this weekend. And what I'd like you to do instead is the work. Okay. So if there's an attractive

00:09:04.940 young woman who you happen to work with, or maybe she works with UPS, or she's at the teller at your

00:09:16.340 favorite grocery store, I want you to stop daydreaming about being able to date this woman.

00:09:22.720 And I want you to ask for her phone number and ask her on a date. If you have a business idea,

00:09:29.320 and you're like, man, this would be so great. It's my million dollar idea, but I've got bills and

00:09:35.360 responsibilities, and I don't know how to start it. And I don't know how to create a website. And I

00:09:40.460 don't know how to do this. And I don't know how to do that. Stop with all that nonsense and just do

00:09:45.860 the first thing. What is the first thing? Buy the website. When I started Order of Man, the first thing I

00:09:54.260 did is I bought orderofman.com, orderofman.net, orderofman.org. It cost me like $40. And I bought

00:10:05.700 all of them because I knew that that was a path I was going to go down. And if I didn't, I was out

00:10:11.340 $40. Big deal. And then what I did is I went and I bought or not bought, excuse me, registered all of

00:10:19.000 the social media handles that I needed to order a man on Instagram, order a man on Facebook, order a

00:10:27.020 man on YouTube, order a man on Twitter. And as new one comes online, like threads and X and TikTok and

00:10:35.860 whatever else there is, guess what I do? I go scoop up those names. Then from there, I started writing.

00:10:45.440 I bought a $100 Blue Yeti snowball microphone. Some of you guys who started podcasting eight,

00:10:54.920 nine, 10 years ago know exactly what I'm talking about. I bought one and I recorded it. Go to my

00:11:00.240 YouTube channel, go to orderofman.com or excuse me, youtube.com slash order of man. Click on content or

00:11:08.040 videos or whatever you need to click on and go back and watch my very first video. I look like a

00:11:13.460 complete idiot. Okay. I set up a camera that I bought for probably two or $300. I put it on a

00:11:19.880 cheap tripod. I didn't have any lighting. So I did the best I could. And I took 10 or 15 minutes and

00:11:28.420 explained what I wanted to do. It wasn't some elaborate production. It was like, here's what

00:11:35.820 I'm doing. I know I'm going to get better. Now, look, I could take that video down because it's a

00:11:40.960 bit embarrassing, but I don't take it down because it's part of my story. It's taking action. It's

00:11:47.900 doing the work. Stop thinking about it. Stop daydreaming about it. Stop wondering what it would

00:11:53.580 be like if you did X, Y, and Z and actually go do X, Y, and Z. Ask the woman on a date. Worst case

00:12:01.420 scenario, she's going to say no, or I'm married or I'm not interested. Okay, fine. At least now,

00:12:07.120 let you know. If it's the business, start the damn business. If it works, awesome. You can figure

00:12:15.100 it out from there. You can grow and you can develop and it's going to morph and it's going to change and

00:12:19.340 it's going to evolve or it's going to crumble and nothing's going to happen. And so what? At least

00:12:24.160 you had the balls to try it. There's too many men who want to try things who don't do it. If you want

00:12:30.120 to go chase and pursue a hobby or an interest or an activity, maybe you want to learn to hunt. Maybe

00:12:37.840 you want to learn to sew. Maybe you want to learn how to shoot a rifle or a firearm, or maybe you

00:12:45.820 want to learn how to cook, or maybe there's an event in town. Maybe you want to run a marathon.

00:12:52.000 Just sign up for the marathon. Oh, but Ryan, I don't know. I'm not a runner. I don't know. And I

00:12:57.560 don't know if I can do it. My back hurts and this and that. Enough of the nonsense, guys.

00:13:03.800 Like the world needs more men who are willing to step up and do the work. I heard a great quote

00:13:10.180 from Chris Williamson with a modern wisdom podcast. I don't think it's his quote, but he was saying it.

00:13:16.700 And he said something to the effect of thinking about the thing is not doing the thing. Talking

00:13:22.780 about the thing is not doing the thing. Sharing with your friends about doing the thing is not

00:13:27.540 doing the thing. Emailing other people about the thing is not doing the thing. Creating a plan about

00:13:33.080 doing the thing is not doing the thing. Starting and registering a business so that you can do the

00:13:39.240 thing is not doing the thing. Guys, go do the thing. Please go do the thing. We need more men who

00:13:48.720 are willing to take action. I'm thinking about it as I'm coming up on. It's a Wednesday as of this

00:13:54.340 recording. I'm coaching my youngest son's basketball team tonight. I like coaching.

00:14:00.460 I want to coach my son's teams. I want to be involved with their stuff. And yet I'm busy.

00:14:06.200 I have other things that are important to me. I have a lot of other excuses as to why I don't

00:14:11.800 need to do that or I shouldn't do that. And you know what I did? I went and registered for it and I

00:14:16.500 just did it anyways. Because the world needs men who are going to take action,

00:14:21.260 not think about action, and not do this mental masturbation game where they make up all these

00:14:28.200 stories about how wonderful they are and all the good that they're doing in the world. And yet they're

00:14:34.000 not doing anything. Andy Frisilla calls these people learning zombies. They'll read 17,000 books this

00:14:41.600 year and they won't apply a damn thing. And they're like, well, I read 17,000 books. Look how smart I am.

00:14:48.960 I don't care how smart you are. Nobody cares how smart you are. You know what they care about?

00:14:54.280 They care about the results that you produce. And not only that, you care about the results that you

00:14:59.980 produce. So many men I talk with on a daily basis are so concerned about how they develop confidence.

00:15:06.580 I'm not confident with women. I don't feel good about myself. I'm depressed. I'm down. I'm not feeling

00:15:13.580 good. I don't know what the problem is. The problem is you're not doing anything. And I'm really trying

00:15:21.080 not to be judgmental. You might hear some harshness in my voice. And part of that is because I recognize

00:15:26.600 in myself that I used to do this, where I would just think about things. And I would just ponder

00:15:33.720 on things. And I would daydream about what life could look like. I remember I had a conversation with

00:15:39.720 a guy years ago, probably six, seven, eight years ago. And he was delivering some wood products.

00:15:46.880 I was building a fence in my yard and he was delivering some wood products to me. And I got

00:15:51.800 talking to him and the guy said, yeah, you know, this is an okay job. But years ago, I wanted to

00:15:58.040 start doing something else. I can't exactly remember what it was. And I said, why didn't you start it?

00:16:03.080 And he said, oh man, it was hard. I just had a new kid. And, uh, you know, my, my wife was dealing

00:16:09.500 with postpartum and she had to go back to work. And then we had the kid and we had to buy formula

00:16:15.280 and diapers and money was tight. And so I didn't do it. And I said, well, so why don't you do it now?

00:16:21.880 And he's like, oh, well, you know, now my kid's going to college and we got to pay for college and

00:16:27.560 we got the mortgage to pay for. And, you know, my wife's not working. She's staying at home with

00:16:32.800 my other kids now. And I've been in the business for a long time. And so I've got a nice little

00:16:37.700 pension coming. I'm like, well, you know what? And I didn't tell him this. I just said, oh, okay.

00:16:43.640 You know, and it's not my job to judge his, his life. I'm trying not to be judgmental. He can do what

00:16:47.920 he wants, but he wasn't happy. He was miserable. I could tell he was miserable. And what I thought to

00:16:53.720 myself is that the next time I need to build a fence or build something else, this same guy in

00:16:58.360 10 years is going to come to me. And he's still going to be complaining about what's going on

00:17:03.240 and how hard his life is and how unhappy he is. And I'm going to ask him why he hasn't started his

00:17:09.240 thing. And he's going to say, well, you know, now I have grandkids and the mortgage is paid off

00:17:14.840 and I'm kind of tired. So I'm thinking about retiring guys life too short for this nonsense.

00:17:20.200 It really is. So that's all I have. Like, I, I, I don't have anything else to share with you. I,

00:17:29.620 normally I have, you know, five steps that you can employ in your life. That's going to help you

00:17:35.960 improve. And I only have one today and that's to do the thing. Stop talking about it. I don't want

00:17:40.780 to hear about it anymore. Your wife doesn't want to hear about it anymore. Your friends don't want to

00:17:45.320 hear about what you've been talking about for the past five years. They don't want to hear you

00:17:49.300 complain about how you hate your job or how you're dissatisfied in your marriage or how you're

00:17:54.300 not getting along with your children. Nobody wants to hear it anymore because they've heard it and

00:17:58.700 you're not doing anything different about it. You know what I want to hear about? I want to hear

00:18:02.980 from you that you say, Hey Ryan, you remember that podcast you did on, what is it? November 17th.

00:18:10.480 By the time this podcast airs, remember that podcast you did on November 17th and you were kind of

00:18:16.080 pissed off and fired up about nobody doing anything. Well, I took your words to heart and

00:18:22.140 I actually registered my website building company. And I want to let you know right now I'm making six

00:18:29.800 figures. Or I want to hear a story from one of you guys who says, Hey, you know what? There's this

00:18:35.160 girl who works in the same office building as I do. And I've been super attracted to her. Sometimes I run

00:18:41.340 to her on the elevator and I've been wanting to approach her and talk to her. And this weekend,

00:18:46.860 I said something to her and I made her laugh and I asked for a number and now we're engaged.

00:18:53.800 Or, Hey Ryan, you know, you were talking about doing this thing and my wife and I were in a bad spot

00:19:00.680 and we weren't doing well. And I know something needed to change. And I heard that podcast that

00:19:06.420 you did on November 17th. And, um, I decided I'm going to ask my wife on a date. And so I got a

00:19:13.060 babysitter lined up. I asked her on a date. I took her to a brand new restaurant. I got reservations at

00:19:19.680 this brand new hotel. Uh, you know, we had some fun that evening over dinner. Uh, we got a little

00:19:25.880 action and, uh, it was the start of us turning our relationship around. Stop guys talking about it.

00:19:34.480 Stop learning. Turn off my podcast, please. If all you do is listen to my podcast and you never

00:19:40.520 implement any of it, please unsubscribe right now. Like just unsubscribe from my podcast,

00:19:46.500 unsubscribe from my emails, unsubscribe from Ed and Andy and Sean and, and, and, uh, David Goggins

00:19:55.560 and Cam Haynes and Joe Rogan and all the guys that I like that I listened to, like turn all of that off.

00:20:03.200 Turn all of it off. Unsubscribe from everything and just go implement all the stuff that you've

00:20:11.220 been learning about for years. And tell me if your life doesn't improve. I don't mean to be a downer

00:20:17.160 today. I'm in a little bit of a mood clearly, but this is what we need to do. This is what the world

00:20:26.680 needs. Like your kids need you to get to work. Your wife, she needs to know that you love her

00:20:34.060 because you're doing work. The people that you could serve by starting that business you've been

00:20:39.340 thinking about for eight, nine, 10 years, need you to start that business because they need the

00:20:44.500 solutions that you're going to offer. People need you to get to work. That's always what's defined us

00:20:51.200 as men. Chris Rock did a, uh, a skit, you know, a comedy routine. And he was talking about,

00:20:59.540 he was bitter about it because he's a bitter person, but he was talking about

00:21:03.320 how men are valued to the degree that they can add value. It's never unconditional, right? Like

00:21:12.120 with women, it can be unconditional. You just love women because women are lovable, but with men,

00:21:16.940 you're only lovable in so much as you're doing something. I don't know if it's true or not.

00:21:21.940 I think there's obviously a tinge of truth to that. Um, you know, you can be bitter about it.

00:21:27.620 You can be upset about it, or you can say, you know, I'm going to be a man of value,

00:21:32.340 not because I want to be loved necessarily by other people. I don't need that validation,

00:21:37.100 but because I want to love myself. I want to be proud of myself. I want to get up early and I want

00:21:43.140 to go to the gym and I want to work out because not only do I want to look good, but I want to feel

00:21:48.340 good because I am in integrity with what I say I'm going to do. I want to ask that woman on a date.

00:21:55.380 I want to start that business. I want to start that project. I want to take on a few more risks.

00:22:01.120 I want to say yes to a few more things. I want to start that weird hobby that everybody says I

00:22:06.080 shouldn't do. When I started order of man, nobody knew what the hell I was even talking about.

00:22:11.640 What are you doing? You're a financial advisor. You're making six figures. You're taking care

00:22:17.800 of your family. Like this is a wonderful job. There's millions of people who envy what you do.

00:22:23.580 They would love your life. And you're telling me you're going to start a business talking about

00:22:27.940 what it means to be a man. That's ridiculous. That's stupid. Nobody needs that. You know what?

00:22:32.700 I did it anyways. And look where I am now. I'm not saying that so that I can beat on my chest.

00:22:38.000 I'm saying that because action is what's required. So to go back to what Theodore Roosevelt says,

00:22:44.340 he says, do what you can with what you have, where you are. You're not going to make your

00:22:51.320 debt in the universe today, but you're going to set yourself on the path to do it. So guys,

00:22:57.660 the only thing in life that moves the needle is not thinking about it, not studying about it,

00:23:04.340 not talking about it, not going to seminars about it, not bragging to your friends about it,

00:23:10.380 but actually doing the thing. Go to the gym, ask her on a date, start the business, get after life.

00:23:21.360 That's what our people need from us. I hope that serves you. Please. Again, I know I have a bad

00:23:27.640 attitude today. Okay. It's one of those days, but I still wanted to come at you with this because I

00:23:32.040 think it's important. And what I'd love to hear from you is your stories of doing the thing

00:23:36.920 and telling me how it plays out, man, that, that woman I wanted, she said, yes, we went on a date

00:23:43.500 that business. I wanted to start. I actually registered the business name. I bought the domain

00:23:48.980 and I sold my first product, that promotion that I've always wanted. I went into the boss's office

00:23:55.340 and I said, Hey, look, here's what I've been doing. And I want this promotion and I want this job,

00:24:01.080 or here's a job I've created. And I think I deserve it because of X, Y, and Z. And he gave

00:24:05.800 me the promotion or he gave me the raise. I want to hear your success stories, not by thinking and

00:24:12.340 pondering and mental masturbation about what you're going to do, but the fact that you actually did it.

00:24:18.960 Okay. This is what we need to do guys. I believe in you. You need to believe in you. You have what it

00:24:25.740 takes. You just might not know it yet because you haven't exercised the muscle of doing the work.

00:24:33.740 So guys get out there this weekend, do what you say you're going to do, take action,

00:24:39.960 and ultimately become the man that you and, and me are meant to be.

00:24:46.100 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:24:50.700 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - November 17, 2023

The Only Thing That Matters is What You Actually Do ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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