Order of Man - The Power of Competition, Dealing with Temptation, and Why Responsibility is Empowering ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.040 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.780 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.360 Kemp, what's going on, man? Good to see you again.

00:00:27.600 Good to see you, man. You have a good weekend.

00:00:30.000 Yeah, it's pretty good. Just had some family in town.

00:00:33.460 Then we had John Lovell with Warrior Poet Society come into town.

00:00:37.300 Him and his wife and his two boys came, and that was awesome.

00:00:41.080 And then we've got more family in town this week, so it's just been a revolving door around here.

00:00:47.000 Which is good. Yeah, we like it that way.

00:00:49.260 And I love, I saw him on your Instagram. I think you're making some posts.

00:00:54.100 Is he, you guys doing some podcast recording, or he's just visiting Maine?

00:00:57.980 Really why he came up here. He just came up here to enjoy. We had a good time and just spent two or three days up here just like detaching a little bit, which was nice.

00:01:07.040 But yeah, I mean, we can't go without recording a podcast or doing some video. Between him and me, it's like, it's not going to happen.

00:01:13.360 So we got it done, man.

00:01:16.320 For sure. For sure. I love it, man.

00:01:18.260 Yeah. How about you? Cool.

00:01:20.560 Same. Actually, disconnected. Took the family. We went down in your neck of the woods.

00:01:26.220 Oh, that's right. I remember that.

00:01:27.820 Yeah. Over north of Virgin in Kolob area.

00:01:32.160 And my wife's family has a cabin up there. It's amazing.

00:01:35.580 Off-grid, off-grid camping.

00:01:37.520 So it was good times.

00:01:39.020 Cool, man.

00:01:39.960 Well, let's get into it today. I know we got a lot of questions.

00:01:42.120 I think these are questions from a week or two ago.

00:01:44.960 We wanted to finish these up before we solicited any others to make sure we can.

00:01:49.460 It's always cool when we have a guy who shares on Instagram or Facebook and says,

00:01:54.580 like a screenshot on Instagram, for example, that they're excited we answered their question.

00:01:59.000 They never said if we did a good job or not, but they're excited about it.

00:02:03.540 So that's kind of cool.

00:02:04.320 Yeah. They're like, they're listening to me.

00:02:06.240 Yeah, exactly.

00:02:07.780 Yeah. So anyways, if you have questions, you can, we'll solicit more next week,

00:02:12.200 but you can probably do that on Instagram at Ryan Mickler is the best place to do that.

00:02:16.120 Yep. And these questions we're fielding from Facebook, from the Facebook group,

00:02:19.560 that's facebook.com slash group slash order of man. If you want to join us there.

00:02:25.280 All right, Jason Bailey. I'd love some advice in dealing with in-laws who are not respectful

00:02:30.780 for my wife, for my family's wishes. They are causing stress for both my wife and I, however,

00:02:36.320 they are family. I've asked my wife to set some boundaries for herself, but she is incapable of 1.00

00:02:42.180 doing so. How do I establish them for my family without causing an all out emotional tirade,

00:02:48.820 which causes even more stress?

00:02:50.780 Yeah. I mean, you hit on it. The very first thing you're going to need to do is you're going to need

00:02:55.280 to get on the same page with your wife. And I'm not talking about paying at lip service. I'm talking

00:03:00.740 about she's willing to follow through on the boundaries and the expectations that you have

00:03:06.280 the way that your in-laws, her folks are to show up. And if you can't do that, nothing else matters.

00:03:13.000 There's no boundary you can set. No, no conversation you can have. If she's stepping over your toes

00:03:18.620 every time because she's uncomfortable, or maybe she doesn't agree with the expectations or boundaries

00:03:23.340 that you have. Uh, so yeah, you and her really need to sit down and have these conversations. Uh,

00:03:30.120 if she has a hard time upholding them, uh, maybe there's some things that you can put in place

00:03:35.080 or at least let her know that, that you can do that. You can play the bad guy, but she has to support

00:03:41.040 you. Yeah. She has, she has to be there for you. She has to back you up because guess what mom's

00:03:46.700 going to do when she doesn't like what you have to say? She's going to go to daughter and they're 0.83

00:03:50.960 going to talk about you because that's life. So unless your wife is willing to support you

00:03:56.480 through her words and her behavior and her actions, nothing else is going to matter. Uh, so

00:04:02.680 that's what I would suggest. That's not an easy thing to do because, uh, you're it's her,

00:04:08.360 it's her family. Uh, she might feel uncomfortable the way that she was raised, the, the environment

00:04:13.980 that, that they, that she learned from is, is that not you. So it's going to be challenging,

00:04:19.980 but I mean, I don't know what to tell you. It's just, you have to have those conversations

00:04:23.980 happen. It has to, because if you try to circumvent any of that, it's not going to work. It's only

00:04:30.360 going to, you alluded to it. It's only going to get better. Yeah. You're going to be the fall

00:04:34.540 guy. It's not going to get better. Yeah. So get on the same page with her, talk with

00:04:39.860 her, try to understand, okay, why does she feel like this? Why is it hard for her to

00:04:44.280 uphold those boundaries and those expectations and start moving in the right direction? It

00:04:49.580 doesn't have to be everything right now, but maybe there's some little micro battles that

00:04:54.140 you guys can discuss and that she does feel completely comfortable with. And that's the

00:04:58.460 win for now. Not that everything needs to be solved at once, but Hey, I'm just making

00:05:03.940 something up. Uh, our kids don't need sweets. For example, again, I'm just making something

00:05:09.180 up, but grandma and grandma, grandma and grandpa give them sweets. Well, maybe your wife and

00:05:13.900 you can get on the same page about that. There's other things you can't completely get on the

00:05:18.280 same page, but that yes, you definitely can. And so you're moving the needle in the right

00:05:23.220 direction. And if they don't want, look, if your in-laws, those are your children, not your

00:05:27.840 in-laws children. So if your in-laws don't respect those boundaries for me, my simple thing

00:05:33.580 is you don't get to spend time with them. So you, you can shoot. This is your choice. It's not my 0.99

00:05:39.100 choice. Here's what I expect. Here's the boundaries. Here's what we have in place. You

00:05:43.040 can honor that. And if you don't, you don't get to spend time with them. Which one would

00:05:48.160 you like? You want, would you rather feed them candy and sugar and everything else or not spend

00:05:53.280 time with them? That's the two choices. Yeah. I'm wondering too, if when people hear like

00:06:00.220 establishing boundaries with the in-laws, we, we jumped to the, Hey, you can't don't do this.

00:06:06.180 Like it's, it's kind of like a unpleasant conversation. And I, and I do think that we

00:06:11.900 can be tactful with it. Yeah. Like explain why it's important to us, enroll them in like

00:06:19.160 why this boundary is important. And so they fully understand you could even be creative and get their

00:06:26.120 input and saying, Hey, here's, here's something we, we, our kids are eating really highly unhealthy.

00:06:32.080 We, we want to, you know, stop that. We want to promote a healthy living. One thing that we had

00:06:38.860 in mind is no sweets. Is there, you know, what, does that, what you guys think are maybe only

00:06:44.660 household or only homemade desserts or no can't like there's some strategy, right? And I, and I think if,

00:06:51.460 if you, if you make it black and white, it's going to always be a little bit more difficult

00:06:54.860 conversation and there might be some tactics that you can have around how do you establish

00:06:59.040 those boundaries with the in-laws? I mean, ultimately it's your call, right. And you need

00:07:03.160 to like own that, but in the same breath, like, I think there's some, I don't know, there's some

00:07:07.680 tactics that we could take on the conversation to kind of ease it. I think so, but I lean more

00:07:12.480 towards, you're going to do it the way I do it or not do it at all. I, I know I saw this. I saw the

00:07:17.160 smile on your face. I'm like, yeah, Ryan's like, no, hell no. The salary is, I'm just not going to go to

00:07:22.280 my in-laws and say, you know, what do you think we could do? No, that's not, I'm no, it doesn't

00:07:28.560 work. Now explaining yourself. I think that's important. Hey, this is the reason we're doing

00:07:32.140 it because I do believe you want to get buy-in. And if they have the, why I think we talked about

00:07:36.280 this last week, then it's more likely they're going to respect and honor that as opposed to

00:07:40.900 just say, do it this way. Just like children. It's the old, because I said so. Yeah. And that only 0.91

00:07:46.940 works for so long. You got to explain the reasoning and the meaning behind it. Yeah. And I see

00:07:51.500 some drawback to it too, right? Like they could bulldoze you if they're the, they're those kinds

00:07:56.180 of in-laws. You're like, you enroll them in the idea or the sausage making. And they're like, well,

00:08:00.720 no, I think this. And then they just bulldoze the idea versus you telling them what is so. So I get

00:08:05.920 you. I I'm picking up where you're throwing down. I think, I think, I think there's, there's merit to

00:08:10.540 both of our approaches and you have to walk that line a little bit. And by the way, you also have to

00:08:15.460 walk that line with your wife because she might not understand why you want to implement this certain

00:08:21.300 thing. And she might think that you just want to keep the kids away from the grandparents,

00:08:25.840 which is not entirely true, of course, but you're going to have to explain why this is important to

00:08:31.520 you. And there might be some things that are very important to her, to you that aren't important to

00:08:34.760 her and vice versa. So you got to talk about these things. And this is an ongoing conversation, but at

00:08:39.640 the end of the day, it's expectations, boundaries, making sure she's on your side and giving her,

00:08:44.880 I should say, arming her with what she needs. I'm talking about your wife to uphold the boundary 1.00

00:08:51.300 because you can do it. No problem. She's going to have an infinitely harder time doing it. 1.00

00:08:56.420 Yeah, for sure. All right. George Sykes, old time listener. Hey, George, how's it going?

00:09:02.620 How do you see the results of the current culture war going in the next five years?

00:09:08.260 I mean, it's such a broad question. And, and I, of course I can't predict what's going to happen,

00:09:13.060 but I do believe it's a pendulum. It's going to swing back and forth and back and forth, but I'll

00:09:17.740 tell you what, uh, lefties, and, and I don't want that to be confused with liberals. Cause I have

00:09:24.120 liberal friends who, although I don't agree with them politically on a lot of things, they're,

00:09:28.020 they're saying rational people still. Yeah. You can still converse with them. You can still spend

00:09:32.580 time with them, but these hardcore lefties still happen. Yes, of course. I'll tell you what though,

00:09:37.800 for all their faults, these hardcore lefties are, they, they live by their convictions.

00:09:42.480 So they're willing to risk offending people. They're willing to get up in their face literally

00:09:46.980 and figuratively when they get elected or they have elected officials, they're willing to push

00:09:52.000 hard on them to push for reform and conservatives don't do that. Yeah. Conservative, especially

00:09:59.500 conservative politicians, they're cowards, they're weak links. You know, they, they get elected, 0.99

00:10:03.520 they get into office, they have control of the house and the Senate, even the presidency.

00:10:06.860 And yet nothing gets done because they're more worried about, I don't know, getting elected or,

00:10:12.260 or, or, or looking, you know, like not the bad guy. And so I think conservatives end up playing

00:10:19.160 the defense a lot and your lefties play hard, hard, ruthless offense. And, uh, unless the conservative

00:10:29.260 side of the spectrum can learn to play offense as well as these lefties have, have, you're just not

00:10:35.420 going to see a whole lot of shift in culture and it's going to continue to fall down this path of

00:10:39.800 degeneracy and, and it's going to get worse. And we're going to see more violence. We're going to

00:10:43.540 see more pitting of races against each other and classes against each other. Uh, and, and then you're

00:10:49.400 going to see more of this, this gender type stuff, and it's going to be perpetuated in the medical 1.00

00:10:56.120 community more so in the schools and it's going to get worse. And, and we need to step up, you know,

00:11:02.340 we need to say enough is enough. Like we're not playing this game. And when we elect politicians

00:11:08.180 and officials, then we expect them to do these things in order to secure our beliefs and our

00:11:16.500 freedoms and the way that we see the world. And so I hope that we can do that. I think there's a swell

00:11:23.140 of, of individuals who believe in more traditional values. Uh, and, and so I hope that happens. I don't

00:11:29.900 know. I don't have a crystal ball, but it's a, it's a very, well, I think that's why this movement

00:11:34.600 is so important. You know, we're talking about a lot of traditional masculine values, family values,

00:11:39.420 societal values. And this is why we have these conversations and the more people that we reach,

00:11:43.900 the better off we are. So unless we are willing to do something about it and stop talking about the

00:11:51.380 silent majority. And I hear people say, well, no, nothing's ever going to happen. Like the second

00:11:55.760 amendment rights, for example, as somebody said the other day, cause I made a post about firearms

00:12:00.380 and, and Biden's, uh, executive orders. And, and, and somebody said, well, you know, it needs a two

00:12:06.360 thirds majority in, in, in the Senate and this and that. And he went through the, the legal

00:12:10.640 ramifications of appealing the second amendment. I'm like, look, buddy, that's not how this is going

00:12:15.400 to happen. Cause if anybody wanted to, if, if, if any party wanted to appeal the second amendment,

00:12:20.880 we would all know we'd be onto it and, and, and we'd put an end to it. It's not how it's going to

00:12:25.440 happen. It's going to happen through continual legislation, uh, banning certain modifications

00:12:31.380 and things like that to firearms themselves, certain types of firearms, the new director of the, uh,

00:12:37.140 the ATF or as Biden refers to as the AFT. Uh, he, he, he said something to the effect of,

00:12:43.880 uh, of plate. And I, and I'm paraphrasing here, but placing AR 15s in the same category as machine

00:12:49.660 guns. This is how they're going to do it. Yeah. It's, they're going to tax it. They're

00:12:54.560 going to restrict it. It's, they're not going to appeal the second amendment. They're going to tax.

00:12:59.080 They're going to restrict. They're going to tie it up with red tape and all of this other stuff.

00:13:05.240 That's how that's, that's the assault. That's the, the attack on the second amendment. It's not

00:13:10.900 directly at it. They're flanking it. So we need to be prepared. And when we elect officials,

00:13:17.420 we will hold them to you and expect them to represent us effectively, but they haven't done

00:13:26.080 it. So that makes me nervous. Yeah. Tyler stick, do you attend church? And what are your thoughts

00:13:33.920 on church? I personally, uh, I'm personally a Christian and I've attended church most of my

00:13:39.020 life, but I'm really starting to question organized religion, uh, especially with how badly so many

00:13:45.060 churches have rolled over to the modern day culture and the COVID shutdowns. I'm considering

00:13:50.960 leaving church building and just having Bible studies from home and opening my door to whoever

00:13:56.600 is interested in joining. So this is probably not going to be as popular of answer that maybe it was

00:14:03.960 20, 30, 40 years ago. Yeah. Uh, I'm, I'm a religious person. I'm a Christian.

00:14:10.020 And I also think church is a good thing. Now I I've noticed there's a growing swell and trend of

00:14:17.800 those who say organized religion is bad and it's wrong. And more harm has been done than good by

00:14:22.640 organized religion. And I can go up into the mountains and find God more so than I can in a

00:14:27.660 building. I hear all of this and I actually understand it. I get it. I can, I can empathize

00:14:33.020 to a degree with what these individuals are saying. Sometimes when somebody says, well, you know,

00:14:36.920 this is where I find God. Sometimes I think, okay, well, that's just a little bit of a cop out

00:14:42.340 because you happen to want to go camping, right? So, but I can't, but I can't measure your heart.

00:14:47.860 We've all tried this. Yeah, sure. But I can't measure your heart. I don't know. Maybe you're

00:14:51.740 being genuine about it, but that's kind of how I see it. Now that said, I think organized religion

00:14:58.400 is important. Just like, just like a sports, you know, you might know the plays and you might

00:15:06.800 really like football and you might know how to, how to win and how to execute the plays. But unless

00:15:11.160 you go to practice and you congregate together and you work through the plays together and there's a

00:15:16.300 coach and there's a purpose and there's a, an agenda that you follow, you're just not going to be as

00:15:20.320 effective as if you just kind of showed up for the game whenever the game was. And that's how I view

00:15:26.500 church. It's an opportunity for people who are like-minded to get together, to hear from people

00:15:31.700 who are reading the same things that they're reading, to congregate, to stand shoulder to

00:15:37.420 shoulder next to people who are on the exact same page, to be reminded of the covenants that you've

00:15:42.780 made, the commitments that you've, that, that you want to continue to adhere to, to repent in an

00:15:48.980 organized structure, in an organized way so that it actually gets done as effectively. Now it,

00:15:56.080 you could go to a church and not feel that. And in that case, I'd say, well, maybe that's not the

00:16:00.160 church. You know, maybe, and what I mean by that is not, not the church for you. Maybe there's a

00:16:06.560 different church that would feel, that would help you feel more of that. But yeah, I think organized

00:16:12.480 religion is a great thing. And as I continue to see the dismantling of, of religion and specifically 0.55

00:16:17.160 organized religion, where are you going to go to, to, to learn these, these values, these Christian

00:16:23.960 principles and where are you going to go to congregate and where are you going to go to

00:16:27.340 teach your children what is right and wrong. And this, this idea and concept of objective

00:16:32.720 morality derived from God, like that's why we go to church to be reminded of the things that we say

00:16:39.460 we want to do. And yes, you can get that stuff outside of church and you should be getting that

00:16:45.700 outside of church. You should be doing Bible study. You should be talking with other Christian men.

00:16:51.600 Uh, they should be in your band of brothers. You should be playing basketball together and going

00:16:55.780 on hunts together and spending time together. You should be doing all of that. But I think that

00:17:01.220 there's value in having time that is set aside and it's deliberate and it's intentional and it's

00:17:09.520 focused. And that's what makes it much more effective. That's what I think about organized

00:17:16.600 religion. I just as a thought too, cause we we've ran into this, I'm sure you've seen this too,

00:17:24.420 where we we've heard people like, Oh, move to this neighborhood and everyone's like, no one's reached

00:17:31.260 out or I go to church and people aren't very welcoming. And like, so be that right. Like we talk

00:17:38.580 about it even in the iron council, like you be that person to create that you be the individual

00:17:44.700 to help drive that. So if you happen to go to a church and there's only one church in your area

00:17:49.660 and you go there and you're not digging it, then show up in a way that you inspire other people

00:17:55.780 on how to fellowship other individuals. Be that light, be the guy that actually shares a testimony

00:18:04.060 and is open and sharing about where they've been and where they're going and the importance of certain

00:18:10.320 things like be that individual for other people. Then if you're not getting it.

00:18:14.980 Yeah. I mean, I, I, I completely agree. I talked about this in the Friday field notes,

00:18:18.920 whether it's church or trying to find a band of brothers or getting a job, like nobody's going to

00:18:23.660 trip over themselves to make you feel welcome or special or important or whatever it is you're after,

00:18:29.280 but you can assert yourself. Yeah. If you want a mentor, you can go find a mentor.

00:18:34.940 If you want people to be welcoming you to you, just go out and be upfront. Like go, you go meet,

00:18:41.180 you move to a new neighborhood. Don't wait for somebody to come to you, go around all your

00:18:44.560 neighbors and introduce yourself. Hey, I just moved here. I thought I'd introduce myself.

00:18:47.900 That's a way better way to approach life, let alone church and mentorship and neighbors,

00:18:52.280 then just waiting and hoping that somebody will at some point give you what you think you deserve or

00:18:57.760 need. It's a very passive way to live life and it's just not going to be productive for you.

00:19:03.020 Yeah. All right. Justin Darrow. I have two daughters that are still living with my wife and I,

00:19:11.520 the oldest loves going outdoors with me and my youngest daughter just wants to stay glued to

00:19:16.380 her computer and cell phone. I'm trying to get her more interested in the outdoors. If I try to force

00:19:22.200 her, it's just turns into a fight. Then everyone is miserable. What are some ways you could suggest

00:19:28.200 getting my city dwelling child offline and into the woods? Well, look, maybe the woods aren't her 0.80

00:19:36.180 thing and that's okay. I actually think that's okay. Why, why, why does she need to be as into it as

00:19:42.660 you, but maybe there's something else she's interested in. That's not her devices that you

00:19:47.680 could actually be interested in. And you can foster that. Maybe it's painting, maybe it's art, maybe it's

00:19:52.620 dance, maybe it's sports, maybe it's shooting or I don't know. There's a, there's a million other

00:19:58.300 things that it could be. And I would suggest that you attempt to take some interest in those things.

00:20:05.040 And you might find that it's not a headache, that it's not a battle to get her to go to

00:20:10.640 jujitsu or art class or dance lessons. But I think you're trying to, at this point, and I don't know,

00:20:17.800 I've, I've, I've got to fill in the blanks with just my assumptions. I think what you're trying

00:20:22.480 to do potentially is take a round peg and put it into a square hole. Yeah. With, I'm assuming the

00:20:29.540 primary objective is get her off her cell phone and her computer. Sure. Which could be addressed. 1.00

00:20:35.160 Right. By any of these other things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And look, there's going to be times where,

00:20:39.700 yeah, we're all going on a camp out as a family. So you're going to come with us.

00:20:43.620 But if she knows that what is important to her is also important to you, that might

00:20:49.000 alleviate some of the, the, the battle that ensues when you ask her to go do these things.

00:20:56.040 I just, I think there might be some room to be interested in what she's interested in.

00:21:01.480 And that might open up a whole world of possibilities and a new attitude about trying

00:21:06.060 new things and experimenting and making sacrifices for the family. That's important. You know,

00:21:11.020 I do things that I'm not always really that interested in. My wife does the same. My kids

00:21:15.560 do the same because we're, we're a unit. We're part of the family and that's how it takes place

00:21:20.160 sometimes. So I, I would look for, for interest of hers. Uh, and, and you'll hear it. She'll give

00:21:27.760 you clues. And sometimes we just brush it off like, Oh, that's silly. Oh, that's not important. 0.75

00:21:33.780 Listen, listen very carefully because they will give you clues. They'll tell you about this cool

00:21:39.780 thing that, especially if she's on her devices, she'll tell you about this cool thing that she

00:21:44.100 saw or this cool thing that somebody did or listen, listen, she's going to give you clues and it's your

00:21:52.680 job to hone in on those. And then to actually nurture those, uh, so that she feels cared for

00:22:00.160 and loved and appreciated and part of the family.

00:22:05.080 Joseph D Roma. What should be our focus this decade for elevating the collective consciousness

00:22:11.940 of men to reduce the exploding statistics of suicide, domestic violence, addiction,

00:22:17.220 and jail population. And what was the last Oh, jail population. Yeah. Uh, what should be our focus?

00:22:25.840 Yeah. I would say, I'd say sovereignty. Uh, the more that an individual is going to take control

00:22:34.720 of their own life and stop blaming other people and outside circumstances and begin to move the

00:22:41.300 needle in the right direction, the better off they're going to be. And the more equipped they're

00:22:45.440 going to be to serve others, start taking responsibility. If you see a family member that's

00:22:50.780 struggling, reach out to that individual, invite them into your circle. By the way, you don't go to

00:22:55.480 their circle. They come to your circle. A lot of guys don't know that because I get a lot of

00:23:00.520 messages from men who think they want to help their cousin or their brother or whoever it might be.

00:23:04.880 I'm just telling you, you bring them into the fold, not go into their circle. Cause it's not

00:23:09.040 going to work like that. You need to get them out of that environment. So you bring them into your 0.97

00:23:13.180 circle. Uh, and then you teach them responsibility. You teach them ownership. You teach them what it means

00:23:18.780 to be sovereign. You call them out when they start to blame, uh, their poor performance on other

00:23:24.720 people or outside circumstances in situations. And you, and you also have to connect the dots

00:23:31.120 as to why it's so important. And, and what's the value from it? Because sometimes if somebody's

00:23:38.320 never been introduced to any form of responsibility, that's burdensome.

00:23:43.440 Yeah. Just looks like work. I have to do chores and work and, and everything in my life is my fault.

00:23:50.360 No, thank you. So you have to connect the dots and tell them why this is so important. What are

00:23:58.360 you after? What are your goals? What are your ambitions? How can you be better tomorrow than you

00:24:03.160 are today? And how is that going to feel when you accomplish that thing? You show them the path

00:24:08.940 and let them know that those two are directly correlated. If you want to feel better about

00:24:15.840 yourself, then responsibility is the way to do that. Uh, but I, but I think that's the foundation

00:24:20.900 of what we need to be thinking about. I think this gentleman said over the next decade

00:24:25.160 forever, I think that's the foundation. It always has been. I believe it always will be

00:24:29.540 as part of the reason we see so much problem. So many problems in culture today is nobody's taking

00:24:35.120 responsibility for anything. Oh, it's this people. Oh, it's that people. Oh, it's my ancestors. Oh,

00:24:40.480 it's the president. It's the economy. It's my boss. It's my wife. It's this, it's that.

00:24:44.620 And, and then they also, because of that, they think the world revolves around them.

00:24:49.140 I remember vividly, my mom telling me the world doesn't revolve around you as a child.

00:24:53.400 Yeah. You know, I'd, I'd be thrown a temper tantrum or, you know, being upset about something I

00:24:57.420 shouldn't have been upset about. And she would vivid, she, she, again, vividly remember,

00:25:00.500 she would say the world doesn't revolve around you. And that's an important message that people

00:25:05.520 need to hear. It's not about you. It's in fact, it's rarely about you. It shouldn't be about you.

00:25:11.840 Especially as men shouldn't be about me. I take care of myself, but so that I can more effectively

00:25:17.380 serve other people. It's about turning it outwards and serving other people. So responsibility and

00:25:23.240 understanding that the world doesn't revolve around you. It doesn't owe you shit, uh, that nobody's 0.93

00:25:27.660 going to hand you anything like we talked about in a previous question and that it's on you. 0.64

00:25:31.220 And that's actually very empowering. And that's the first time somebody might ever hear that.

00:25:35.880 Hey, you know what? Yeah, you're in a shitty situation right now, but guess what? You're 0.79

00:25:40.260 powerful enough to do something about it. That's the first time somebody may have ever heard that

00:25:45.320 because they've been shit on their entire life. Mom and dad are out of the picture. They get around 0.99

00:25:50.960 a group of people that aren't positive and powerful influences in their life. And, and they just think

00:25:58.140 they're losers because everything has pointed to that. And then you come along and you say,

00:26:02.840 no, you know what? Yeah. You have some bad circumstances. Some things are crappy in your

00:26:07.120 life, but you're powerful enough to create that environment. So you're surely power and up powerful

00:26:12.360 enough to recreate a new environment. It's going to take some time, but that's an empowering message.

00:26:19.580 And that's the message people need to hear. That's the responsibility message. Not you're

00:26:23.480 going to have to do a lot of work and it's going to suck, but Hey, when you take this upon your

00:26:27.640 shoulders, I want you to know how powerful you're going to feel to create an environment around you

00:26:33.780 that fosters success. That's an empowering message. Yeah. And, and it comes with fulfillment.

00:26:41.420 Of course. And, and a sense of probably happiness that transcends anything that they were

00:26:47.460 slightly getting out of their current state of being.

00:26:51.660 Yeah. I mean, look, if you're going to get lost in a bottle or lost on some pills or lost in

00:26:55.860 pornography or lost in any number of things that could potentially sedate you, that's going to feel

00:27:01.420 good for a minute. If it didn't, you wouldn't do it. So let's acknowledge the fact that sure,

00:27:07.020 it's going to feel good, but there's greater satisfaction and pride and fulfillment that comes

00:27:13.360 in delaying that for just a little bit. And then having a real experience. Yeah. That's a hard sell

00:27:21.360 if nobody's ever heard that, but that's why it's got to be framed in an empowering message.

00:27:25.820 Yeah. For more details on sovereignty, look up Mr. Mickler's book. Is that something we can,

00:27:32.220 the listeners can purchase from the store as well? Occasionally. Check on Amazon.

00:27:36.500 Occasionally. Amazon or Barnes and Noble. If you don't want to shop on Amazon, I have a lot of people

00:27:40.120 that don't want to, which is fine. Barnes and Noble, other bookstores. And occasionally we'll

00:27:46.800 get some in the store and those are signed copies, but I don't, I don't have them always in the store.

00:27:51.340 That's just case by case basis. So just stay tuned. Okay. Warren Taylor, what are your best tips for

00:27:59.120 being present, being a present father while being away for extended periods of time? I'm currently

00:28:05.040 across the country attending the U S army drill Sergeant Academy while my wife stays at home in

00:28:11.420 Washington, continuing to work full-time to take care of our daughters, our house, our pets,

00:28:16.460 and preparing our house to be sold. I really appreciate the work you gentlemen are doing.

00:28:21.120 Hope you are both doing well. Yeah. Well, thank you for your service first and foremost,

00:28:26.080 because I know that can be a challenging thing. What I would say is try to create some sort of a

00:28:31.940 schedule with, with, uh, communication as best you can. I know the schedule is probably a little

00:28:36.620 sporadic and I don't know how often you can call in and things like that, but, uh, I, I would make

00:28:42.380 that a special time so that the family begins to acknowledge it and be excited about it. Like,

00:28:47.380 Oh, we get to talk to dad today. We get, I get to talk to my husband today. And so there's almost a

00:28:52.040 ritual around, you know, 7 PM every night or 7 PM on Monday and Thursday is when we get to hear from dad.

00:28:59.200 And when you're doing that, that's the moments that you're going to be fully present.

00:29:03.540 All right. So you're going to put the phone away. You're going to turn off the schooling that you're

00:29:08.220 involved with right now. And you're just going to be there. You're going to ask questions. You're going

00:29:11.900 to be fully engaged with them, but creating a ritual around those types of things, I think is

00:29:17.000 going to be a valuable thing. The other thing I think would be good is to sporadically let them

00:29:24.580 know that you're thinking about them. So instead of a phone call on Monday at seven, like you're

00:29:30.460 scheduled, you should do that still. Wouldn't it be cool if they got a letter in the mail on Tuesday

00:29:35.260 afternoon, that was just kind of random from dad that just explained what it is you were doing and

00:29:40.200 what you were up to. And you were thinking about them or that your wife on Thursday at 9 AM got a

00:29:45.640 bouquet of flowers delivered to her. I mean, that's going to go a very, very long way. So you create

00:29:52.480 these ritualized events and then you create the sporadic events in between. And the cool thing

00:29:58.920 about the sporadic events is you can schedule them, but they don't know they're scheduled.

00:30:03.420 Yeah. Right. So like you might say, okay, when I'm done with instruction, every Tuesday night is when

00:30:09.400 I write a letter and then I drop it in the mail. That's a schedule for you because that's when you

00:30:13.400 can do it, but it's random for them. You can schedule a bouquet of flowers to come in three or four

00:30:18.420 days or even next week. Random to them, schedule to you. And that's what you have to do when you have

00:30:23.700 a weird schedule, whether it's military service or guys working in the oil field, for example,

00:30:30.320 or swing shifts. Okay. You can schedule all that sporadic type interaction. They don't know it is,

00:30:38.480 but you do. Yeah. I like it. Andrew Sprinkle, creating your own path for climbing the ladder

00:30:47.060 at work. Thank you, Ryan and Kip. Always enjoyed the discussions. I don't really know what the

00:30:54.800 question is there. Creating your own path for climbing the ladder at work. Yeah. Maybe some

00:31:01.780 strategy around how to move up the company or corporate ladder. Yeah. I think humility is

00:31:11.340 important. You know, if you have that desire, I think ego gets in the way. A lot of times I want to

00:31:16.320 do this. I want to do that. I'm going to railroad and bulldoze everybody in my path. And that's all

00:31:20.860 good. I like that attitude, but also you need a level of humility that says there are people that

00:31:26.620 are further ahead of you or even peers, or even maybe even potentially subordinates who might know

00:31:32.480 some things about some areas that you don't know. And that level of humility is going to help you

00:31:37.260 grow the path quicker. I also think it's important to make your objective known to people.

00:31:42.920 I think that's actually a very valuable thing that one done appropriately to let a supervisor know what

00:31:48.760 you're interested in. How's he supposed to read? This goes back to our assertiveness. How's that

00:31:53.080 supervisor going to read your mind about what your expectations are? And if you don't communicate the

00:31:58.460 expectations, guess what they're going to do? They're going to jump to conclusions and maybe

00:32:04.220 they're right, or maybe they're wrong. It's hit or miss. It's 50, 50. So why not lay it out and let

00:32:09.940 people know exactly what you're interested in? And they actually might help you get, see the path

00:32:15.640 better than you've seen before. If you're my supervisor, Kip, and I said to you, Hey, you know,

00:32:20.240 Kip, I've only been working here for about six months. But I really see a lot of growth potential

00:32:25.600 in this organization. I'm fully on board. I love what it's doing. And I actually would like to become

00:32:30.300 a supervisor one day. And here's what I'm going to be doing to ensure that's happening. I'm going to

00:32:36.380 show up on time. I'm going to work hard. I'm going to support other people. If I have new ideas or

00:32:40.840 initiatives, I'm going to bring those to you. And you can let me know if these are things that we

00:32:45.120 would move forward on or not. But are there some things that you would want to see in me or even

00:32:51.140 just another potential supervisor that would make you feel good about that individual's path?

00:32:56.740 That would be a rad conversation for a supervisor. Yeah. I'd feel awesome if someone said that. I'd be

00:33:01.920 like, Oh good. You're ambitious. I love it. Yeah. And then follow through consistently. Cause I think

00:33:07.840 what one thing we have a tendency of doing is not seeing the results as quickly as we'd like.

00:33:12.200 Like, so you might say, well, Ryan, I need you to do X, Y, and Z. And that's going to show me that

00:33:16.760 you're very interested. And I do it for two weeks and I'm like, what the hell? Yeah. Why am I

00:33:21.340 promoted? Yeah. Kip hasn't said anything or promoted me or acknowledged me or whatever.

00:33:26.660 Yeah. It's going to take some time. And there is a, there is a point where it's too long and you

00:33:31.580 would need to bring something up. Hey Kip, last year we talked about this and I feel like I've been

00:33:36.800 doing these things and, uh, I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I feel like, do you have some

00:33:42.380 feedback for me or is there, is there room for growth or is there a transfer that could take

00:33:47.160 place where I might be able to go somewhere else to continue to excel? Again, this is about

00:33:51.200 assertiveness, but yeah, you, you, you got to put forth the effort and it's there. The path is there.

00:33:56.740 It just takes a lot of initiative, a lot of assertiveness and consistency over time.

00:34:00.260 Yeah. One thing that I like is, or I was actually telling, uh, an employee on my team this the other

00:34:07.320 day, cause we're consultants. So everything's about our engagement rate with our clients. Right. And

00:34:13.340 that's a really important thing. And I was making the point that I, you're going to be more engaged

00:34:20.020 on projects and people will give you opportunities when you're a reliable source. Oh, for sure. We could

00:34:26.880 look in our scenario in, in the iron council. And if you, if you say, Hey, Kip, can you do this? And

00:34:32.940 I dropped the ball and I dropped the ball. You're going to stop asking of course. And then opportunities

00:34:37.900 are no longer there, but even if you give me something and I like deliver, and maybe I even

00:34:43.220 deliver on time or a headed schedule or give you like a great product, like, well, that's even better

00:34:48.720 than I imagined. The next time you need help, you're going to go, Oh, I should ask Kip because this is

00:34:54.140 important and he's reliable. I can rely on him to do something. And, and so, so many opportunities

00:35:00.940 would just present themselves when we are a reliable source and we do quality work and people,

00:35:08.740 people want help. The problem most of the time that I run into is like, I don't know who, right.

00:35:14.520 Or we need those kinds of individuals on our teams that we can rely on. And, and those are going to

00:35:19.680 present themselves as long as we do the work and we do it on time and, and we're reliable resources

00:35:24.200 for the team. Yeah. And there's two more things I thought about as you, as you were saying that

00:35:28.900 number one is what a lot of guys will at least think they may not vocalize it is, well, he doesn't

00:35:36.360 pay me to do that. Or that's not, that's not, that's not my job duty. That's not my job description.

00:35:42.560 Yeah. Right. Then keep your job forever. Exactly. Yeah. Cool. Just stay in your little

00:35:47.740 box then of what your job description is. And don't ever, don't ever get ambitious about getting

00:35:54.060 out of that box because you're not willing to step outside of it. So sometimes it might take you

00:35:58.980 doing some things that you aren't going to be directly compensated for in order for people to see,

00:36:04.840 oh, we actually have an asset right here. We ought to utilize this more. The other thing is let's say

00:36:14.480 in your scenario, Kip, where you're talking about doing things for people or, or me coming to you

00:36:20.200 and asking you, Hey, can you do this? Can you do this? Can you do this? You as somebody I'm asking

00:36:24.200 should look for trends. So if I continue to ask things about correspondence with people at the iron

00:36:29.940 council, there might be an appropriate situation where you come to me and you say, Hey Ryan, I've

00:36:36.060 noticed over the past six months or eight months or so you've asked me quite a few times to correspond

00:36:41.840 with some of the guys to host some of the meetings, et cetera, et cetera. And I actually really enjoy

00:36:46.000 doing that. I would like to do that on a more consistent basis. And so I've put together a strategy

00:36:51.400 that every six weeks I'll host one of the calls. I'll make these posts. I'll communicate with these guys.

00:36:56.680 And of course, you know, I would expect to be compensated fairly for doing that, but I'm

00:37:02.100 going to make sure that any investment you put into me is actually going to be an investment in

00:37:05.960 you and the iron council and what we're doing here. And if, if you came to me and I knew that

00:37:11.220 I was asking you every couple of weeks for things to do like, Oh yeah, actually that would be a really

00:37:16.880 good idea. And then it would just unload this from my shoulders. And I would be willing to pay you

00:37:21.040 to compensate you to do that. But again, that comes back to the assertiveness that we were

00:37:24.880 talking about earlier, which is the theme of this week's call. Like for sure. Be, take initiative,

00:37:29.460 be assertive. You're going to win if you do. For sure. And the last thing that came to mind

00:37:34.400 as you're sharing Ryan is, and it's so critical is understand the desired outcome. And that's how

00:37:43.220 you win, right? Like if you ask me to do something, I could do this specific task, but if I understand

00:37:49.020 the desired outcome, then I can even look for those other opportunities that you presented, right? I could

00:37:54.780 go, Oh, what he wants is this. Hey, Ryan, I have this other idea because now I'm, I'm fully engaged

00:38:00.940 and I understand what you're trying to get after. Right. And I'm, and I've moved beyond just the

00:38:06.800 little individual tasks that you asked me to do. And, and the sooner that we can get bought into the

00:38:11.760 outcome, then we can be creative with suggestions and ideas, or if something goes South, I could still

00:38:18.900 provide a solution to you because I know what the desired outcome is. Right. Even if I have to pivot

00:38:24.580 slightly on the actual individual task. Yeah. And if you want more on that information, go back and

00:38:30.360 listen to last week's podcast. Cause we actually talked exactly about that. And we went on and on

00:38:35.500 about, about taking, again, taking that initiative and, and looking for the result and then providing

00:38:43.480 solutions that may not be within my view, right? You might have access to information or resources

00:38:49.540 or tools that would help me accomplish whatever it is I want more effectively, but I just can't see it

00:38:54.740 or don't see it because again, it's not in my window. It's not in my view. Yeah. That makes you value.

00:38:59.960 It makes you invaluable because now I realized, Oh, I've got a resource in Kip and he's bringing

00:39:05.300 something to the table that I can't bring to the table myself. And again, I'm willing to invest in that.

00:39:10.660 Yeah. All right. And I'll say one more thing. I'll say one more thing. Yeah. If over time an

00:39:16.920 organization proves that they're incapable or lack the desire to invest in that, that would be a red 0.98

00:39:24.060 flag for me. So just keep that in mind. Yeah. No growth opportunity. Yes. You're going to be

00:39:29.620 stagnant. Right. Yeah. Good call. Excuse me. All right. Steven Jeffers, my stepson is about to leave

00:39:37.180 for the Navy bootcamp. What are some things his mom and I can do to support him through bootcamp

00:39:42.240 and his, and his first commission. I'm trying to think about when I went to basic training. I mean,

00:39:48.580 really it's kind of hard in basic or bootcamp because they don't get, they can't have anything.

00:39:54.980 Yeah. There's nothing. How long is it? It varies. I think if I remember correctly,

00:39:59.720 basic training for me was 10 weeks, I think. Uh, and then I had another eight to 10 weeks of advanced

00:40:05.600 individual training. So it's probably something like that. I don't, I don't actually know the

00:40:09.920 answer to that question, but I was gone for roughly four and a half months or so. Okay. And, and I,

00:40:15.780 I couldn't have anything. There's nothing, you can't send me anything. There's nothing I can have.

00:40:20.400 Yeah. Nothing because everything that I need is provided to me. And there's items that we just,

00:40:25.660 we can't possess while we're there. So, uh, I think the best thing that you can do

00:40:30.840 is send letters, uh, whenever he can call home, which will probably be few and far between as he's

00:40:37.560 going through training, uh, you know, be there, be available, be present. Um, I mean, there's just

00:40:44.500 not a whole lot you can do. Like there just isn't. So just be there, be supportive, be proud. I think

00:40:50.280 that's important. Be proud of him. Let him know that you're proud of him and what he's doing and how

00:40:54.940 he's serving. Uh, but again, there's just not a whole lot you can do. That's fine. I get it. I,

00:41:01.680 as my son gets old, my oldest son gets older. I'm like, man, at some point he's going to leave the

00:41:05.960 nest. And how do I maintain relationship and contact and communication with him? And will he

00:41:10.140 want to be involved? And I definitely see where you're coming from, but yeah, just do the things

00:41:15.060 you know to do, send letters, make yourself available for the call times. Whenever those are

00:41:19.000 available, um, don't, don't make them feel bad or guilty. You know, that's, that's one thing I think

00:41:24.160 people like for, for serving in the military. No, just for, for being away or, Hey, your mom's

00:41:29.620 having a hard time with this. Like now's not the time to do that. That's not going to make him feel

00:41:33.840 any better saying your mom's just rotten. She's so depressed. Cause you're gone. Right. And tell

00:41:39.040 your wife too. Hey hon, like we're not here to, to complain. Like we're, we're here to acknowledge

00:41:44.120 him, to be proud of him, letting him know that we're okay. Cause he's probably thinking the same

00:41:49.120 thing as you. How do I support my parents? I've been there and now I'm gone. And I know my dad's

00:41:54.060 going to miss me. My mom's going to be all distraught about it. So he's very much thinking

00:41:57.640 the same thing. So you have to let them know that, Hey, things are good at home. Mom's good. Dad's

00:42:02.340 good. We're all busy. We're active. We're thinking about you all the time. Um, that's, that's just

00:42:07.980 what you do. Yeah. All right. Logan, uh, can do so can do so as my daughter's growing up and my wife

00:42:16.500 and I are growing our family. I've been more and more turned onto the idea of homeschooling. However,

00:42:21.080 my wife dismisses the idea when I bring it up to her, her family is very involved in the public

00:42:26.320 education system and has been for generations. Her father and uncle are school principals and her

00:42:32.380 brother and grandfather are teachers. I've heard them mock homeschooling at family dinners. My

00:42:36.580 question is what is a good way to help her understand the benefits of homeschooling and 0.98

00:42:41.740 help her see it as a viable option when there are lots of different opinions in the family. 0.98

00:42:47.180 Yeah. I think if you were to come out straight out and say like, Hey, this is what we're doing,

00:42:52.260 or this is what I want to do. There's going to be a lot of resistance. It sounds like. And so there

00:42:56.580 might be some, some, as Jocko would say, some flanking maneuvers here where you're just gradually

00:43:01.940 introducing some different thoughts or different ideas. Uh, maybe one of your kids is interested in,

00:43:08.820 uh, in, in, in music, let's say. And so you, uh, pick up a guitar or a drum set or whatever it might

00:43:17.680 be, and you get them a course online. That could be as simple as something is YouTube, or maybe there's

00:43:23.040 another app that you can get on your phone. And so you start introducing these extracurricular

00:43:29.060 activities into your learning and the dynamic of the home. And then you, you keep dropping those

00:43:36.300 things in, you know, I would say when you have one of the uncles or fathers, whoever it is talking

00:43:41.460 about how homeschooling is, you know, horrible or mocking or whatever it might be to say, Hey,

00:43:46.640 you know, I, I could certainly see how you would say that. I've actually seen, saw this one article

00:43:51.500 that talked about homeschooling in this way. And it was very interesting because X, Y, and Z.

00:43:56.320 And so you don't allow yourself to be railroaded and you actually bring up a really valid point,

00:44:01.220 not to be combative, but just to offer a counter perspective. And if they're going to get snarky

00:44:07.520 with it, I would actually get snarky back. I'd be like, Oh, well, as an educator, I just assumed

00:44:11.560 that you were open to all sorts of learning and objectively looking at what would be the best

00:44:16.620 option for the kids. Yeah. I would say that if again, if they're going to get snarky back,

00:44:21.800 because I like putting people in their place that are willing to do it to you. Cause it's important

00:44:25.400 that you stand up for yourself and talk about these things. Um, so yeah, it's, it's probably going to be

00:44:30.720 a hard thing just to say, hon, we're going to homeschool. But I think there's different programs

00:44:34.760 and curriculums and extracurricular activities that you can incorporate into the learning process

00:44:39.380 that might gradually over time, expand and open up new opportunities.

00:44:43.440 Well, and I know, like, if you think about it, what's the benefit of homeschool?

00:44:48.060 You're in control, right? So, so Ryan or anyone else can moan and complain that homeschooling is

00:44:54.840 that well, based upon what based upon other people, but our version of homeschool is what we decide,

00:45:02.260 right? Not what every other homeschooler decides. Right. And what is, what is a principal other than

00:45:08.340 a person that helps run a school? The only difference is he's doing it for kids that aren't his. So like,

00:45:16.220 okay. Well, and he's hamstringed by the curriculum that he has to present as well. Totally. Yeah. Like

00:45:20.620 you take that same exact principle running in elementary school and you say, Hey, you run your

00:45:24.380 own homeschool at the same level and effort that you give your job. Why wouldn't it be superior?

00:45:33.680 Well, and the other thing too, that we're actually in a very interesting time

00:45:36.620 with this, the, the, this whole reaction to COVID, uh, is that more and more people of course are,

00:45:43.840 have their kids at home, especially early on in this thing. Yeah. Uh, and more people have

00:45:49.040 realized the benefits of having their kids at home, which means that there's going to be more

00:45:53.220 homeschooling opportunities. It's going to become more mainstream. There's more kids in homeschooling

00:45:58.020 environments. There's co-ops that are popping up and this is going to become more common than it was

00:46:02.520 before. When I was in high school, the homeschool kids were the weirdos, but that actually doesn't

00:46:07.960 seem to be the case anymore. It seems that more and more homeschooled kids are actually very well

00:46:15.720 adjusted, uh, societally. They're very intelligent. They obviously think different. They, I think for

00:46:22.320 the most part would adhere to a more traditional approach and value to values to society. Uh, and

00:46:29.840 you're going to see it more. So not only are you going to get the influence of you wanting to do it,

00:46:33.540 your wife's going to start to get the influence of her friends. Oh, well, you know, we homeschooled and

00:46:37.920 we started doing this and we started doing that. And she's going to see that. And sometimes that can

00:46:42.020 be even more powerful than what, what you say or what you want. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Dan Ray,

00:46:49.540 most essential, unique daily ritual. Mr. Mickler, most essential, essential, essential, unique daily

00:46:58.020 ritual. It's, it's the shortcut. Ryan's one thing that makes him be who Ryan Mickler is.

00:47:05.800 What is it? Do you have one? Do you have a unique daily ritual? No, I mean, I do the same things

00:47:12.080 everybody else does. Like I'm, there's nothing special about anything that I do. I'll, I'll,

00:47:17.380 I continue to say that I'm not all that unique. I'm not all that special. Uh, you know, I, I exercise

00:47:23.340 daily. Um, I plan it. That's important. I plan out every single day. There's not a day that goes by

00:47:29.660 where I do not plan my day. Yeah. Maybe not unique for this culture, right. And for the order of man,

00:47:35.740 movement, but I still think in the grand scheme of things, that's really unique. Most people don't

00:47:40.180 do that. Maybe, but it isn't all that. It isn't, it just isn't all that special. It's, it's important.

00:47:46.060 It's crucial for me. It isn't all that special or even hard to do is to take five, 10, maybe 15

00:47:51.660 minutes tops and write down what you want to accomplish and what you want to get done. Uh, you

00:47:56.940 know, outside of that, just, I get a lot of playing in with my kids. That's not ritualized necessarily,

00:48:01.460 but that's something that's important to me on a daily basis, whether it's doing orders

00:48:05.780 with my son or working on the canoe or, uh, building Legos with my other kids or exercising

00:48:12.320 with my daughter, whatever. I mean, we always build something like that. Uh, we, we wrestle

00:48:17.280 just about every day. We have mats here in the house and we wrestle every single day on those

00:48:22.860 things. Sometimes it's five minutes and sometimes it's an hour. It just varies depending on what

00:48:26.940 we want to do and what else we have going on. I'll tell you one ritual that seems to be

00:48:30.760 increasingly uncommon is dinner with the family. And I know that's going to get harder as my kids

00:48:39.080 get older and they get active in the opposite sex and they get active in sports. That's going to get 1.00

00:48:44.120 harder and harder, but we still sit down every single day as a family at the dining table over a

00:48:50.400 home cooked meal, barring, you know, going to a restaurant together or something like that, or a date

00:48:54.440 night. But outside of that, yeah, we're sitting, we're talking, we're conversing, we're eating food

00:48:59.260 that my wife cooked or grew or, or, or had killed like that's, that's, that's an amazing ritual for

00:49:06.580 us. And again, it's increasingly uncommon. Yeah. But outside of that, I mean, I'm just, I'll tell you

00:49:14.580 the thing that I'm good at. The thing that I'm good at is just doing it forever. Like I'm really good

00:49:23.560 at that. If you lock me onto something and, and I, and I commit to it when I go, I go to reps in

00:49:29.760 every day forever. And, and that is one thing that makes, I don't, I won't say unique, but that is one

00:49:39.440 thing that has afforded me a lot of success in my life. Because again, I don't feel like I'm all that

00:49:45.300 unique. And I think there's people who are significantly more talented, advantaged, connected,

00:49:51.640 et cetera, than I am. But over time I can make up for that. Maybe not in a month, maybe not in a

00:49:59.460 year, but over two, three, five years, 10 years. Yeah. I can absolutely, absolutely make up for any

00:50:06.820 sort of loss that I was, that I didn't initially have to begin with.

00:50:11.860 Yeah. I like that. There's a quote by Michael Jordan. And I think he said that he's never lost

00:50:18.140 a game. He just ran out of time. Yes. Yeah. And I kind of liked that mentality. Like,

00:50:24.740 no, I would have outlasted everybody. Yeah. I just ran out of time. Exactly. Yep. That's exactly

00:50:30.540 right. Rodney, Michael, why is competition an essential theory, an essential to your theory?

00:50:38.580 And I'm assuming why we, why do you bring it up? Why do I, why do I talk about competition?

00:50:42.880 Yeah. Yeah. Because it makes you better and it shows you what's possible. And then when you do it

00:50:47.220 in a cooperative environment, right? So if we're talking about jujitsu or competitive sports,

00:50:53.100 it's, it's, it is competition. Yes. But there's another way to look at it. It's actually cooperation,

00:50:57.680 right? We, we want to cooperate so much so that we're willing to bring in a third party,

00:51:03.840 a referee or a judge or whoever we're willing to bring in this third party to make sure that we both

00:51:10.740 adhere to the rules that we agreed upon and to moderate and mediate and make sure we adhere to

00:51:16.900 the standard. We've collectively agreed to bring a third party to hold us accountable to that set of

00:51:23.380 rules or, or guidelines. And so we're cooperating, right? You're going to make me better. I'm going

00:51:30.000 to make you better. We're going to work in these confines. And if we step out of these confines,

00:51:34.620 we're going to be warned or penalized. And then we get back into it. And so cooperation is,

00:51:39.480 excuse me, competition is extremely valuable. It also, for me, it shows me what's possible because

00:51:45.260 if I see somebody outperforming me in any facet of life, I don't think that's a threat. I look at it

00:51:50.800 and think, Whoa, I didn't even think that was a possibility. I look at this when I see, um, new,

00:51:57.420 new, new moves tried in like X games, right? You see these snowboarders or skateboarders and it's like,

00:52:03.260 nobody ever did a quadruple inverted backflip before. And then before you know it,

00:52:08.540 everybody's doing that. Well, why wasn't everybody doing that before just for fun?

00:52:14.160 Yeah. Cause the stakes were high and to win, I got to try, I got to go the extra inch. I got to

00:52:20.760 go for something that I've never gone before. Yeah. And it fosters creativity because somebody's like,

00:52:26.700 Whoa, like I see a snowboarder do something. I'm like, I, you know, I'm not a snowboarder by any means,

00:52:32.000 but I would say, I didn't even know that was possible. I didn't even know a human body could

00:52:36.940 actually do what it is. These people are doing. And then it starts to unlock little parts of you.

00:52:43.760 Well, if that guy can do that, like I could probably do that, or at least I could work towards

00:52:49.780 it. So now it fosters ambition and drive and creativity. These are all so powerful and why

00:52:58.560 competition I think is so important. But, but what we do is we strip it away because we don't want

00:53:03.300 people to feel bad. Like we think uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. But we think, I think collectively

00:53:09.440 society believes that kids in particular are going to feel bad to the point where it's going to break

00:53:16.860 them. And I would say that's not true. That's not my experience anyways. And I've spent a lot of time

00:53:20.980 coaching young athletes, football, baseball, basketball. And I'll tell you what, even because a

00:53:27.260 lot of the times in these city type leagues, these rec leagues, they don't keep score when they're

00:53:31.060 really young because they just, you know, want to learn the fundamentals of the game, which I don't

00:53:35.040 actually think those are at odds with each other. You can learn the fundamentals and still keep score.

00:53:39.000 But I'll tell you what, I've seen five, six, seven-year-olds that maybe we're not keeping

00:53:43.840 score and they'll come up to me after the game. Coach, what, who, who won? Yeah. I remember that

00:53:48.700 too. They want to know, you know, or they'll say, Hey, we, we want, we got two touchdowns. They only got

00:53:54.560 one. Like they don't even know the score, but they know we got two and they only got one. So we won.

00:53:57.900 Um, and, and so you have a lot of do-gooders who I think want to do right, but they're so soft and

00:54:05.480 they're so weak and they're so sensitive. They think that if anybody has a hard time ever, it's

00:54:09.780 going to break and cripple them. And what an individual needs is a little resiliency, but they

00:54:14.900 also need somebody, a coach, somebody in their corner who's saying, Hey, you know what? Yeah,

00:54:18.800 guys, it does suck to lose. And we lost, and they were a better team than us today, which means that

00:54:24.060 we need to go back to the drawing board and we need to figure out what they did, what we didn't

00:54:28.680 do. So that next game we go out there. I mean, I've, I've coached a team where we lost, I think,

00:54:33.980 I don't know if I remember it was baseball and it was, it seemed like there was 11 or 12 games.

00:54:39.420 Uh, and we lost all but two. And that was a hard, that was a really hard season. You know,

00:54:46.220 it was hard on the kids. Not one of them quit. Everybody kept going certainly hard on me. I'm like, man,

00:54:50.920 it's, it can't be the kids at this point. It's me, you know? So that was, that was hard on me

00:54:56.580 because I had to, I had to analyze and I actually considered, well, maybe I shouldn't coach. Like,

00:55:01.600 maybe I'm just not a great coach for this, but no, no, no, that's not it. Like I just need to get

00:55:05.540 better. And so I spent time learning about how do you drill? How do you coach? I would, I would in

00:55:11.320 baseball games that season, I would watch other coaches and pick up cues from them. I'm like, well,

00:55:16.780 like he seems to be able to rally his kids. Like I'm having a hard time doing what's he doing. And

00:55:21.660 I would watch because that feeling of pain and it was painful for me because I don't want these

00:55:27.320 young athletes to have a bad experience. So it was painful for me, but the pain that I endured

00:55:31.700 because of that was actually very serving to me and to the kids that I went on to coach the next year

00:55:37.600 and the next year and the next year and the next year. So I lost you to reflect and determine

00:55:43.020 what you needed to do to evolve and change as a coach, which that's what each player should be

00:55:48.400 doing individually as well as part of that process. I remember coaching basketball and I did the same

00:55:54.420 thing. In fact, I went to coaches and asked them if I could attend their practices. So I started going

00:55:59.500 to other teams practices to watch what they were doing because we had a losing season as well. I'm

00:56:04.680 thinking, well, what am I doing wrong here? Right? Like it's gotta be me. Like these boys are,

00:56:10.200 you know, like we just keep coming up short. And so I started, you know, kind of grabbing for straws

00:56:15.960 to try to figure out like what we need to do, you know, and it's good for them to have that same

00:56:20.540 mentality. Yeah. Yeah. That's a healthy approach. So, I mean, we could go on and on about this.

00:56:25.700 There's teamwork and, and there's learning how to win well and lose well, because both are a skill

00:56:30.880 that needs to be developed. You need to learn how to win well. Yeah. Which means that you need to be,

00:56:35.380 I think it needs to be, you need to be gracious, uh, for the team that you actually got to play

00:56:41.680 against. You wouldn't have been able to win if you didn't have a team to play against.

00:56:44.720 Uh, and, and you need to be humble in that. I remember my coach, uh, in football and baseball,

00:56:48.980 his name is Matt Labrum guys would celebrate. And he would always say, act like you've done it before

00:56:53.200 act like you're going to do it again. Like it shouldn't be a surprise. He would say,

00:56:57.200 it shouldn't be a surprise that we won this game. You shouldn't be overly excited. I mean,

00:57:01.140 you should be happy about it, but you shouldn't be rubbing it into your face. Like you've never

00:57:04.800 won a baseball game before. Like you're expected to win. So act like champions act, you know? So,

00:57:11.660 and then the teamwork and then how to work with people. I mean, we had some real jerks on our team 0.99

00:57:16.260 and you know what? Like we had to work with them because they're not off the team and we're not 0.99

00:57:21.780 leaving. So now you have to learn how to work with difficult people. Like there's so, there's so much.

00:57:28.160 And, and you also have to learn to work against people who are going to cheat,

00:57:31.880 right? Cause you have this third party who comes in and they're trying to mediate and,

00:57:37.940 but they're going to miss things. And other teams are in other people, including you are going to

00:57:41.400 try to take advantage of the rules and you need to learn how to, how to deal with it. Again, my same

00:57:46.700 coach, I learned so much from me. He's been on the podcast before. Uh, we would get pissed off at the

00:57:50.840 end of a game, like a close game. And we would get pissed off and we'd say, you're the referee or

00:57:55.700 whatever missed that call. And he would say, it shouldn't have been close enough where the

00:58:00.280 referee would actually determine the outcome of the game. What a great point. Like maybe the ref

00:58:06.040 did miss a call, but it's your fault. You even let it get that close that that's what determined the

00:58:10.620 game. Yeah. So man, I love competition. There's so much that can be learned from it so much.

00:58:16.580 Yeah. All right. Next question, Billy, uh, iron council battle team leader.

00:58:21.540 A good question here. Why can a man be motivated to change certain aspects of his life, but not

00:58:28.300 others? For an example, 11 monthly year old alcohol free and going strong. However, I still

00:58:34.300 eat like shit and cried to myself about being overweight. Yeah. I mean, that's because we hear 1.00

00:58:40.300 the adages, like the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. And that's not entirely true.

00:58:45.360 I understand the point of the message. And I've said that before. And in a certain context,

00:58:50.940 it does make total sense, but it is always the case. I mean, how can a guy who's hyper

00:58:55.140 successful at work be such a loser at home? If that's true, wouldn't he be a success anywhere?

00:59:01.700 Look, there's, there's a lot of, there's a lot of factors. Okay. There's, there's your personality.

00:59:06.860 There's the temptations that are hard for you versus the things that are not. So maybe alcohol

00:59:11.440 is just not as tempting as food is for you for whatever reason. Maybe that's physiological.

00:59:15.880 That's biology. That's, that's your makeup. Or it could also be an experience, you know,

00:59:20.120 maybe, uh, and I don't know here, but maybe your father was an alcoholic and you saw him abuse your

00:59:25.500 mother and your siblings. And so you're like, I'm not easy. Yeah. Don't do that. Yeah. Cause

00:59:30.440 that guy was an asshole and I'm not doing that. Totally. And, and maybe alternative to that, 1.00

00:59:35.900 maybe the way that your mother showed you love was through food. So she cooked, my wife does this

00:59:41.220 and her mother who's here this week, they do this. They show their love through food. And so they

00:59:45.760 cook these big, beautiful, delicious meals. And so I'm like, well, they're showing their

00:59:50.540 love and I want to tell, I want to let them know that I appreciate it, you know? So there's

00:59:54.160 so much at play here that it's hard to just say, well, you know, you just do it, whatever

00:59:58.360 you do with alcohol, just do it with food. I don't know. I don't know why, but what I do

01:00:02.440 know is that there's going to be things that are more challenging for you than other people

01:00:06.940 and vice versa. And the best thing that you can do is not question why it is the way it is.

01:00:11.940 I wish it wasn't this way. Unfair. Yeah. Let go of the expectation. Yeah.

01:00:16.460 Right. And, and I'll put the caveat in here. When I say why it is, I'm talking about the

01:00:21.480 expectation, like you said, but it is important to ask yourself, why is this so difficult for me?

01:00:27.800 Because if you can answer that question, then you can start to put the pieces in place

01:00:32.500 that help you deal with a greater temptation in this case, then alcohol is for you.

01:00:38.620 Yeah. So maybe it's as simple as we don't eat out. And that's a restriction I put in place. That's

01:00:45.500 a self-imposed limitation. That's discipline, right? Or I'm going to ask my wife not to bring home the 0.99

01:00:52.520 chips and salsa when she grocery shops. And that's just something I can't deal with it. Like I'm not,

01:00:57.360 I'm going to eat it. If it's here, I'm going to eat it. So just please don't bring it home.

01:01:01.760 Right. Or you put time limits on it. And this is one thing I did. Cause I'll tell you what I love to

01:01:07.100 eat. Eating is my problem too. Chips and salsa specifically. And I love to eat late at night.

01:01:14.060 Like I could sit down today. I'll probably, I probably won't even have lunch today.

01:01:18.380 Not a big deal. I don't eat breakfast. Probably won't have lunch. I'll have dinner with the family.

01:01:23.840 But then like at night, after the kids go down, my wife and I are relaxing.

01:01:29.340 It's like munchie time. I'm going to go have sandwich. I'm going to get the chips and salsa.

01:01:33.860 I'm going to eat everything in sight. I'm going to make some burritos and do some taquitos and like

01:01:39.200 all the good stuff. Right. And all of it, I cannot contain myself. And so I've, I put restrictions in

01:01:46.540 place. Hey man, you don't eat after seven o'clock. You just don't. Not one chip, not an M&M, not no,

01:01:54.000 you don't eat after seven. And that's the restriction I've put in place because that's

01:01:58.460 where I get myself into trouble. And that's me personally. It might not be you. So figure out

01:02:05.400 why it is you do that. Put the things in place to ensure you don't do that and then measure it

01:02:11.680 and see where you fall short. Like it's important. Like for me eating late. Okay. I found that out

01:02:17.460 over time. Like I get in trouble when I eat late. I need to know that I need to identify. That's the

01:02:22.680 enemy for me. So I need to identify that. Maybe it's something else for you. Maybe when you're stressed out,

01:02:28.460 or maybe when you're, you're, you're tired, you know, but you're so stressed and anxious. And so

01:02:34.460 you eat, or maybe it's when you're with friends and you're celebrating that like, that's when you

01:02:42.140 eat the most figure out when there's some, there's a couple of great books. There's a power of habit

01:02:47.160 by Charles Duhigg. And then there's atomic habits by James clear. And one of the things that James clear

01:02:52.620 talks a lot about is he talks about friction. And he says, one of the things that you want to do with

01:02:57.180 the habits you're trying to eliminate and get rid of is create friction. So we'll go back to chips and

01:03:01.640 salsa. I need to make it harder to get chips and salsa. That's the friction. Cause if it's harder,

01:03:07.200 I'm lazy. All of us are, if it's harder, I won't do it. And I need to make it easier.

01:03:13.380 I can't remember the term he uses, but less friction for the things I do want to do like working out

01:03:20.420 or going to the gym or eating healthier food. And so I make those things more accessible,

01:03:26.880 more in my proximity, even with working out, I've got kettlebells, I've got the war clubs,

01:03:30.940 I've got things in here that I'm, I'm literally using throughout the day because it's right here.

01:03:35.760 It's like, Oh, there it is. Like, I got to pick it up and do 10 front squats with that thing.

01:03:39.880 Um, so I hope that helps. Don't focus so much on like, Oh, why is, uh, but let go. It is. That's

01:03:50.180 all it is. Now let's figure out why it is that way and come up with a plan to deal with it.

01:03:55.140 Yeah. How much do you think Ryan, you know, like, and maybe it's, I don't know, maybe it's,

01:04:01.340 maybe it's not applicable to so much food, but I think of like vices, you know, let, let the say like

01:04:07.320 cigarette smoking, for instance, in, in there's, there's a sense of identity, right? Like,

01:04:14.880 like, you know, you're not the person to drink, to smoke cigarettes. And so to do it is just

01:04:22.700 out of character for you. Right. And for us to accept something is like, you know, something

01:04:28.440 against probably what we know is best for us. We had to like, accept the idea that I'm that person,

01:04:35.020 that I'm the kind of person that will overeat, or I'm the kind of person that will, you know,

01:04:41.040 or, or that I am an alcoholic, you know what I mean? And I have to accept that as my identity.

01:04:46.240 Am I looking too much into this from like a psychology perspective, but like, I don't know,

01:04:50.700 do you get what I'm saying? Like, yeah. And I don't know. I don't know from, like you said,

01:04:56.260 psychology perspective, I would never, I would never try to convince anybody. I knew that side of

01:05:01.520 things, but anecdotally, I can tell you one, one little story of mine. So this was years ago.

01:05:06.920 I was drinking a ton of monster energy drinks, ton. I could have one to two per day. I was just

01:05:13.500 drinking them all the time. And I didn't want to, I wanted to stop drinking energy drinks because I

01:05:19.020 knew they weren't good for me. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to stop these things. And I battled with

01:05:22.180 that. Like I couldn't stop drinking them because it was just a habit. And then one day I made a

01:05:28.460 deliberate decision. And it was like, it was, it was like this. I said,

01:05:33.560 successful people don't drink monster energy drinks. Now, look, that's actually probably not

01:05:40.600 true. There are probably plenty of successful people who drink monster. It's not true. But I

01:05:48.000 said that to myself, successful people don't drink monster energy drink. And I've, I have not had one

01:05:55.560 sense. In fact, I'm like, Ooh, I look at him like that looks gross. I don't even want one.

01:06:00.500 I know. I don't know. I don't know. Again, that's just anecdotally, but you know what I mean? Like

01:06:05.780 that, that was a shift, right? Yes. That's not because I believed it. I told myself, no,

01:06:11.060 no. If you want to be this person and you do, I want that more than the energy drink. Then

01:06:15.900 that's what you need to say to yourself. Same thing with smoking. You know, if you're trying to get rid of

01:06:21.380 it, I'm not making light of addiction or anything like that. I'm just saying anecdotally, this worked

01:06:26.560 for me in that situation. Successful people don't drink monster energy drinks. Successful people

01:06:32.160 don't smoke cigarettes. I thought, I think there's something to those assertions that you make about

01:06:38.460 yourself. Yeah. Well, and I think, and part, uh, part of that, Ryan, correct me if you agree or let me

01:06:44.860 know if you agree or not is you, you have to believe it. Right. Like I, I think some of us

01:06:50.500 might be thinking like, you know, in Billy's scenario, you know, like, Hey, food's advice for

01:06:57.300 me, but he may not really be bought into that. He, he may be saying that because well, Ryan says that

01:07:04.700 people say it's important or I should stop smoking because you know, it's, you know, socially,

01:07:10.420 but they're not, they're not committed to it. Like they're really not bought into why they really

01:07:15.480 should. Well, and I see this a lot with things like 75 hard, which I know a lot of, a lot of guys

01:07:20.700 listening have done that or in the process of it is they'll say things like, you know, I'll, I'll start

01:07:25.300 tomorrow or I'll start on Monday. Okay. Well, already I know that you're not bought into it.

01:07:31.820 Yeah. Otherwise you do it today. If you really thought it was critical, you'd do it right now.

01:07:35.780 You would start right now. That isn't me passing judgment on that. It's

01:07:40.260 just saying, I don't think you're fully committed to it. I don't think you're ready for it.

01:07:44.760 Yeah. And, and maybe it works. I I'm sure there's people who listening who said, well,

01:07:48.220 I started on Monday and I got through it and that's great. But I think you're probably the

01:07:51.580 exception rather than the rule. And it's, it's, I think it's, it's harder. I should say it this

01:07:59.100 way. It's easier for you to cop out of it. I think somebody who says, I'll start on Monday

01:08:03.040 and it's Saturday night or Friday night. Like, let me, let me drink everything this weekend,

01:08:07.780 and eat everything, you know, in sight. And on Monday I'll start. I think that person is probably

01:08:12.460 going to, when it gets hard day 10, day 15, day 30, they're going to say, oh, well, you know,

01:08:16.760 I've been, I've been doing really good. So I'm just going to take this weekend as a break. I've

01:08:20.380 been doing good. I'm going to take this weekend as a break. And if you know, 75 hard, that's not

01:08:24.040 really an option, but that's what people will say. They'll convince themselves. It's just a break

01:08:28.380 just, just this weekend. And then I'm going to start back up on Monday. Yeah. Because you set the

01:08:33.100 precedent that you could do that. You already set the precedent of how this is going to go down.

01:08:37.900 It's the same thing with marriage. Marriage works the same way. You know, oh, this is hard. Like I

01:08:42.900 can't do this. And if you've already had a divorce, like we know that the likelihood of you getting

01:08:48.020 divorced again are significantly higher if that's the case. Okay. Because you've already set the

01:08:53.740 precedent that there's an out, there's an escape hatch. And so you'll use it at the slightest sign

01:08:59.720 of adversity or challenge or fear. So you got to be careful of the precedent you're setting for

01:09:04.520 yourself. Yeah. Hmm. All right. Eddie Molina. I'm 42 in the middle of a career transition that

01:09:12.540 I've been researching and planning for several years. I'm not dumb. I'm close to a second master's

01:09:18.200 degree. My current career working with criminals and crazy people have been wearing me down over the

01:09:23.420 years. I am confident in my choice and the new business venture, but my wife isn't. And it's a

01:09:29.340 strain on our marriage. What advice do you have? So it sounds like he's getting away from the

01:09:35.340 criminal side, transitioning to a new job. And the wife is uncertain. So of course, that's typically

01:09:44.460 going to be the case. I think generally speaking, women are going to be more apprehensive about you

01:09:50.320 moving into a new career path than men. That's a general assumption, just general, general statement

01:09:56.060 there. But I think that's true. That was certainly true of my situation. So what I think you have to

01:10:02.140 do is you have to illustrate and communicate with her ways in which you've taken risks and they've

01:10:08.140 panned out. Other business ventures, other opportunities, other investments that have worked

01:10:14.100 and what you've done. I also think it's a good idea that you come to her with a plan and you

01:10:18.520 communicate that with her. Not to explain yourself in that way, but just to help ease some tensions that,

01:10:25.000 hey, hon, look, I've thought this strategy. Here's the plan. Here's the mentors I'm working

01:10:29.180 with. Here's the business. Here's how it works. And then there might be some ways to hedge too.

01:10:35.940 So when I started Order of Man, it wasn't like I just shut off all my income and I went over here.

01:10:40.740 It was, okay, I got all my income here and then I'm going to work a couple hours at night,

01:10:44.480 a couple hours in the morning. And I did that for several months, started making a little money over

01:10:48.760 here while I was still making all the money over here. And I gradually, it gradually just kind of

01:10:54.700 went like this. This income just gradually reduced because I wasn't in it as much. And this income

01:10:59.600 over here started to go up. And even when this was higher than the original income, I just told my

01:11:06.200 wife, I'm going to sell the business. And that was even scarier for her, even though the income had 0.65

01:11:11.960 already replaced it.

01:11:12.760 Because that was a little bit of a backup maybe in her mind. Yeah. Like we could fall back on that.

01:11:17.660 Right. So we took months discussing, talking, sharing, strategizing, talking about growth over

01:11:24.660 here before. And even as I was signing the papers to sell it, she was still, as was I, still nervous

01:11:31.120 and apprehensive about selling the business. But we did it. And here's the cool thing about it now.

01:11:37.140 Now, if I told her, Hey hon, I know I've got this order of man thing and, but I'm going to start

01:11:42.760 another business over here. I'm going to start the side business and here's how it's going to work.

01:11:46.640 She would be less apprehensive about it. She still would be, but less so because she's seen me do it

01:11:52.760 before. And I would, I would communicate that. Hey, you remember how nervous you were about when I was

01:11:59.040 doing the financial planning stuff and I sold the business and grew order. Remember that? Yeah. I remember

01:12:02.800 that. Well, this is a very similar situation. So I think you can go back and you can draw upon

01:12:07.940 situations that you've created risks that you've taken that have panned out, communicate the plans

01:12:13.900 and the strategy with her. And then maybe there's some hedging strategy here where it's not putting

01:12:18.880 it all on the line because you could probably do that, but you aren't the only consideration.

01:12:23.920 I believe generally women are less likely to be excited about that as men. Yeah.

01:12:28.900 Michael Shadell. I have an opportunity. This was the last one, Kip.

01:12:34.040 All right. Sounds good. I have an opportunity for a promotion at work, but it would require me to

01:12:38.520 leave the union and go company, which would take away some security I have with a union,

01:12:44.000 but I would make more money and have opportunity for growth. Any advice?

01:12:47.940 No, you already answered your own question. Really? Read that last sentence again.

01:12:56.480 Yeah. I would make more money and have opportunity for growth.

01:13:04.660 You answered your own question. Yeah.

01:13:07.660 Case, look, I know, I get it. Things are comfortable where they are. I'm not a huge fan of unions as they

01:13:15.040 are, but let's table that conversation for a minute. It's comfortable. That's the enemy.

01:13:22.780 Okay. Look, one day you're going to die and it actually might be this afternoon or it might be in 0.58

01:13:30.440 30 years. We don't know, but one day you're going to die and you're going to have to, you're going 0.90

01:13:37.080 to have to live with the fact that you were willing to just be comfortable knowing that there

01:13:42.960 could have been something else that you weren't willing to embark upon. Let's play this out.

01:13:47.700 Let's say you go start this thing or whatever. I don't know the situation, but let's say you go

01:13:51.840 with the, you start working with the company and it doesn't work out, bro. Just go back to your union

01:13:58.480 job. Like that job's going to be there. It's going to be there or something else. Will you be fine?

01:14:05.800 It's going to be hard for a year or two. Sure. But it'll be fine. But what if this thing over here

01:14:12.920 actually works out the way you think it could? What then? I think about that when I come out,

01:14:18.740 we've been almost two years here in Maine and it would have been easier. I could convince myself to

01:14:24.820 stay in Utah and things were just the way they are and it's fine and it's good. And that would have

01:14:29.420 been fine. My wife and I decided we're going to move out here. We're going to move the family out here.

01:14:33.080 And the worst case scenario is we come out here and we hate it and we're cold for two years

01:14:36.920 and then we just move home. That's a pretty good worst case scenario. Yeah. So I'm not going to

01:14:44.700 tell you what to do, but I think you already know what to do. And you're asking a question to,

01:14:49.800 I was going to say, talk. I don't think you're trying to be talked out of it. I think you're

01:14:53.620 trying to be talked into it and that's not my job. You know what to do. So make your decision.

01:15:00.460 You already answered your question or your answer. Yes. You answered your question in your

01:15:04.680 question. Believe in yourself, trust yourself. That's your gut speaking. That's your belief

01:15:10.420 speaking. The fact that you answered your own question is you, that's the belief you have in

01:15:15.760 yourself. Roll with it. Go with it. I like it. Well, and it's such a false sense of security anyway.

01:15:25.720 There's no security for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I can't help, but, and maybe I'm being a little

01:15:31.340 bit mean on the whole union thing, but like I'm envisioning a bunch of sheep in a corral

01:15:36.860 down in the Valley. And there's this beautiful peak that you could climb as a sheep. That's just

01:15:43.880 breathtaking and wonderful. And you can stay in that little corral and be safe with all the other

01:15:49.420 sheep because why, if a, if a wolf shows up, the probability of you getting killed is really,

01:15:54.440 really low. Right. So you can stay in the corral all you want and probably live for a little bit

01:16:01.420 longer, or you could take the risk and go up on that mountain top and live a wonderful life.

01:16:07.980 Right. And run a possible risk of getting eaten by a wolf. And let's say this too, let's add,

01:16:14.280 cause I like that analogy. The shepherd is like, stay in the corral because you're worth money to

01:16:19.340 the shepherd, not because he cares about you. Totally. And I, and I'm going to put a fence up

01:16:25.140 to help you feel that way. Right. That's what I'm saying. Give you the small sense of not to feel

01:16:29.300 that way to protect my investment. Yeah, totally. It's nothing to do with you. Yeah. It's to protect

01:16:35.860 my investment to protect. Nah. All right. We're going to say, like I said, we're going to table that

01:16:44.860 one for, for another day, but, uh, but that is worthy of a conversation we ought to have. So

01:16:51.020 anyways, let's, let's have that. Well, first off, let us wrap up guys. So we mentioned this last week,

01:16:58.020 um, you know, quarter two just kicked off. It's not too late. Um, get your goal setting in place for,

01:17:05.740 for Q2, um, and join us by downloading and installing the 12 week battle planner. Uh,

01:17:13.240 you can learn more about this battle planner at 12, the number week battle planner.com. This is

01:17:19.380 the tool that we use within the iron council for tracking our goals and holding each other

01:17:23.700 accountable, uh, to learn more, uh, go to that website. And as always to support this movement

01:17:30.160 and, you know, I don't know, we talk about it every week, right? It's like some of the questions

01:17:34.020 even today were like, what do we need to do as men to like culturally, uh, battle, like what's

01:17:40.780 happening? Well, we level up and we band together and we share this message. We share what we're

01:17:46.360 talking about here on those podcasts and you, you can do so by leaving ratings and reviews that helps

01:17:51.700 the podcast substantially. It helps promote it for others to see. And you can also subscribe,

01:17:57.640 um, on YouTube, leave rating there as well. And, and follow us and subscribe to the YouTube channel.

01:18:05.220 And as always, you can follow Mr. Mickler on Instagram and Twitter at Ryan Mickler. That's

01:18:10.180 M I C H L E R. That's right. I think we got it guys. Really appreciate you. Great questions today.

01:18:17.040 Keep them coming. Connect with us on the socials, leave those reviews, uh, get the 12 week battle

01:18:21.160 planner. We've got a lot of work to do and this is a small part of it. So we're glad that you're

01:18:24.780 banded with us. Uh, we'll be back on Friday until then go out there, take action, become a man.

01:18:29.900 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

01:18:35.560 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - April 14, 2021

The Power of Competition, Dealing with Temptation, and Why Responsibility is Empowering ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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