Order of Man - The Power of Consistency, How to Create Your Own "Luck," and How to Improve Intimacy

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.240 Kip, what's up, man? Glad to be back for Ask Me Anything 015.

00:00:29.000 We've got to say 015 because I think we're going to hit 100 at least.

00:00:32.580 We should do 0015 because we'll be in the thousands.

00:00:35.960 There you go. 0015.

00:00:37.540 Long-term planning here. This is the first one, though, that we've ever done live, right?

00:00:41.920 Two.

00:00:42.720 Oh, we've done another one? Origin.

00:00:44.600 Oh, that's right.

00:00:45.920 Was that an Ask Me Anything or was that a Friday Field Notes?

00:00:49.140 It was both. So we did the Ask Me Anything across from our bunkhouse.

00:00:54.620 That's right.

00:00:55.120 And then we did a last-minute Friday Field Notes.

00:00:58.460 It was like Thursday night at 11.30 or something.

00:01:02.440 Yeah.

00:01:02.540 Maybe not that late, but it was in the last two hours of the day.

00:01:05.740 And I'm like, dude, I've got to hurry and get this out.

00:01:08.760 I've never missed – I've not missed, knock on wood, a single podcast since I've started.

00:01:16.180 And that would be – that's probably close to – might even be over 300 podcasts now.

00:01:23.720 Yeah.

00:01:24.000 Not missed a single one.

00:01:25.660 And I'm sure there's been times where you're like, oh, man, it would be really convenient just to miss this one week.

00:01:30.900 Yeah.

00:01:31.360 You know, I've been busy or, you know, I forgot or I didn't feel like it.

00:01:37.020 But it's important.

00:01:38.900 Consistency is critical, right, in anything.

00:01:41.000 I was talking – I was at the gym this morning over at the Mountain Ops Gym here in northern Utah.

00:01:44.820 And I was talking with a friend of mine and I was saying, you know, I've – he was asking about running.

00:01:50.640 Am I still running?

00:01:51.260 I said, yeah, I'm still running a little bit.

00:01:52.440 And I haven't done that over the last couple of weeks.

00:01:54.260 I've been traveling and hunting and things.

00:01:56.680 And I'm like, yeah, and I've, you know, put on a few pounds over the past couple of weeks.

00:02:00.600 I'm like, dude, I've been working out and running like consistently, like busting my tail for months and months and months and months.

00:02:07.140 And I take two weeks off and I'm just like, bleh, I feel fat and bloated and –

00:02:12.920 It sucks.

00:02:14.260 Like why is it that the stuff that's good for you takes so long to produce the results and the stuff that's bad for you is like instantaneously you experience the negative impact of your poor choices.

00:02:28.000 Yeah.

00:02:28.360 It usually doesn't take long.

00:02:30.180 But I guess that's why there's a select few of people who are fit.

00:02:34.920 And there's a select few of business owners who have successful businesses and a select few podcasters who have a successful podcast and a select few men who have successful marriages because it is the path of most resistance to have those types of results, right?

00:02:52.220 Yeah.

00:02:52.520 Not an easy path.

00:02:53.820 I have to ask.

00:02:55.000 So what's at the Mountain Ops gym?

00:02:56.880 Is it like a CrossFit gym and then they have bows around and –

00:03:00.520 No, it's like – it's kind of like a CrossFit gym.

00:03:03.240 And then they have heads everywhere.

00:03:06.700 What do you mean?

00:03:07.120 Elk and speed goats and –

00:03:09.640 Like a taxidermy.

00:03:12.360 Yeah.

00:03:12.500 Yeah, it's awesome.

00:03:13.020 Okay.

00:03:13.420 I love it.

00:03:13.980 That's funny.

00:03:14.900 No, those guys are – they're good guys up there, Jordan and Casey and Brian Call, Gritty, Trevor, Farns.

00:03:22.140 I mean they're just all great guys, man.

00:03:23.720 Yeah.

00:03:23.980 Really good guys.

00:03:24.460 That's cool.

00:03:24.700 And so every time I'm up, I go see those guys and their offices – the office dreams are made of.

00:03:31.620 I mean it's just –

00:03:32.020 It's like a man cave office.

00:03:33.760 Dude, yes.

00:03:34.220 It's got – and the design is – they have all this really cool steel work and then old barnwood paneling and they've got the severed – it reminds me of like – I think it's Ace Ventura when he walks into the room and it's the Hunter's Lodge.

00:03:49.280 And he's like, this is a lovely room of death.

00:03:51.840 Yeah.

00:03:53.560 So they've got all their heads everywhere and it's just awesome.

00:03:57.360 And everybody has their bows in their offices.

00:04:00.680 So they have individual offices and they've got their bows –

00:04:02.960 Mounted on their wall or something.

00:04:03.900 No, they've just got it in the corner.

00:04:05.180 So like if they want to go up the mount in the back outside of their office, kind of like we're looking outside of your office here.

00:04:11.560 Yeah.

00:04:11.740 They've got a little bit of a bigger hill and they've got 3D targets on their hill so they can just go out and shoot.

00:04:16.480 So just take a break and –

00:04:17.760 Yeah.

00:04:18.360 Yeah.

00:04:18.540 That's cool.

00:04:19.040 It's awesome.

00:04:19.860 They've created a really good culture over there for sure.

00:04:22.900 And then just hunting and a bunch of cool guys and they're doing good stuff.

00:04:27.780 I'm not sure if they're a sponsor but – so they have the nutrition line.

00:04:33.100 Yeah.

00:04:33.260 Like they have –

00:04:34.480 They do a nutritional lineup and then they do –

00:04:37.060 And they have wear, right?

00:04:38.560 Yeah.

00:04:38.800 Shirts, hats, beets, things like that.

00:04:41.620 Okay.

00:04:41.940 So –

00:04:42.500 That's cool.

00:04:42.980 I like their logo actually.

00:04:44.260 I remember you wore one of their Mountain Hops hats.

00:04:46.920 Their marketing –

00:04:47.600 And I've never heard of them but I saw the logo and I was like, kind of dig that hat.

00:04:51.360 Their marketing is really good.

00:04:52.740 They've always had a really good eye for it.

00:04:55.820 And it's top notch.

00:04:57.420 I mean it's high quality stuff.

00:04:59.480 And then Brian Call, he's associated with them.

00:05:02.440 He runs the Gritty Podcast.

00:05:03.360 He was on our podcast about two months or so ago.

00:05:08.080 He just showed me his new video for his moose hunt that he did.

00:05:11.820 That moose hunt, he went on – he went with Adam Greentree and if you're a hunter, you probably know who both of these guys are.

00:05:18.240 And they were basically surrounded by a grizzly bear the entire hunt.

00:05:23.180 Was just kind of following them.

00:05:24.300 Following them.

00:05:24.740 Yeah, Adam Greentree took a moose and they dressed it there in the field and then –

00:05:31.120 Oh, yeah.

00:05:31.660 And then the bear, the grizzly, basically claimed the kill.

00:05:35.640 Yeah.

00:05:36.120 Pissed all over it, buried it.

00:05:38.160 And then they went in there and they stole back the meat, any meat they could before the grizzly came back.

00:05:44.380 No way.

00:05:45.340 Dude, that's crazy.

00:05:48.120 I don't know.

00:05:48.660 I think I'd be like, you know what?

00:05:50.700 Have –

00:05:51.560 I got some pictures, you can have the rest.

00:05:55.340 Yeah.

00:05:55.680 Yeah, it's crazy.

00:05:56.600 That's funny.

00:05:57.760 That's cool.

00:05:58.160 Well, I'm glad to be up here, man, in your office.

00:06:01.140 It's a nice office, but it's no mountain ops.

00:06:03.440 It's no mountain ops.

00:06:04.380 I know.

00:06:04.540 I'm just kidding you, man.

00:06:05.240 But it's funny because why is you talking about how awesome mountain ops is?

00:06:08.740 I'm like looking around going, nah, it's not that nice.

00:06:11.820 No, I'm just kidding, man.

00:06:12.460 It was good to meet some of the guys you're working with and so I'm glad to be here.

00:06:16.840 That's cool.

00:06:17.720 That's cool.

00:06:18.340 Well, should we get into these questions?

00:06:19.680 Yeah.

00:06:19.980 We do this every week.

00:06:21.000 We take about 10 minutes before we actually get into anything and for those of you who

00:06:25.460 are tuning in for the first time, this is our Ask Me Anything every Wednesday.

00:06:29.960 These questions are coming from you guys.

00:06:33.360 So, we give precedent to the guys who are Patreon members, which is patreon.com slash order of

00:06:41.160 man.

00:06:42.100 There's some giveaways that we do, some extra little perks and features and benefits.

00:06:45.480 It's a great way to just contribute a nominal amount and support what we're doing here in

00:06:49.980 the podcast because it costs money to run this thing and of course, the movement itself.

00:06:53.460 And on that Patreon, there's stages, there's levels in which you can sign up for.

00:06:57.380 Yep.

00:06:57.460 Different levels.

00:06:58.860 Anywhere from $1 to $5 to $10 to $20 a month.

00:07:02.400 So, there's that.

00:07:04.120 They also come from the Iron Council, which is really cool if you think about it because

00:07:09.560 the Iron Council is our first, if you want to call it a product really.

00:07:12.940 We started three, about three years ago.

00:07:18.100 Actually, I think we did start it in January of 2016.

00:07:23.300 So, it will be three years coming up here in the next couple of months.

00:07:26.800 Crazy.

00:07:28.320 So, anyways.

00:07:30.040 Yeah.

00:07:30.560 So, that's our first, like I said, quote unquote product, but it's our best vehicle.

00:07:36.720 I mean, it's a brotherhood, a society, a fraternity, an organization, whatever you want to call

00:07:42.280 it, of men doing more than just talking about what it means to be a good man.

00:07:47.420 And hey, that's important.

00:07:49.400 But these guys are actually doing it, right?

00:07:51.220 There's assignments and there's challenges and we're holding each other accountable.

00:07:54.720 You're one of the team leaders, Echo Team.

00:07:57.740 So, shout out to those guys.

00:07:59.580 Man, we're just doing some great things over there.

00:08:01.280 So, I think we've got a handful of questions from these guys.

00:08:03.180 And then, also from our Facebook group, 52,000 men over there.

00:08:09.180 Isn't that crazy?

00:08:10.200 It is crazy.

00:08:11.160 52,000 people listening to us?

00:08:16.080 Like, why?

00:08:18.000 Sometimes I ask myself that.

00:08:19.340 Why?

00:08:20.260 I mean, we've got some things figured out.

00:08:21.580 I certainly don't have everything figured out, but we've got some things locked down.

00:08:24.200 But it's pretty inspiring and humbling.

00:08:27.440 But it's so, that why?

00:08:30.720 Like, sometimes I agree.

00:08:31.940 I think about it and I think, you know, the movement is awesome.

00:08:35.720 The growth is awesome.

00:08:36.960 The conversations within the Iron Council are awesome.

00:08:40.940 And sometimes I wonder that.

00:08:42.300 Like, oh, why?

00:08:43.260 Why?

00:08:43.840 Yeah.

00:08:44.060 And then, it only takes like a day for someone to post something stupid on Facebook.

00:08:52.580 Or I hear some conversation.

00:08:53.820 It takes a day?

00:08:54.340 Man, it takes me like every five minutes I see something.

00:08:57.540 But you know what I'm saying?

00:08:58.900 I know what you're saying.

00:08:59.520 You see someone, you see a conversation, you have a conversation, you see someone post a

00:09:04.040 conversation about some lame perception about masculinity or issues.

00:09:11.760 And then immediately you go, okay, I remember why.

00:09:14.740 And a perfect example of that, I brought this, if you don't mind me sharing, I brought this

00:09:18.800 up with my wife, we were watching, I'm an Arizona Cardinals fan.

00:09:23.340 We suck.

00:09:24.620 They suck.

00:09:25.780 But I'm still a fan.

00:09:26.640 Oh, yeah.

00:09:26.900 So when they suck, it's they.

00:09:28.500 When they're awesome, it's we.

00:09:30.020 It's us.

00:09:30.620 Yeah.

00:09:31.140 No, no.

00:09:31.920 Well, I'm still a Cardinals fan, but, and I don't watch a huge amount of football, but

00:09:36.300 I do watch at least the replays, the worst case scenario.

00:09:39.060 But anyhow, I was watching the football game, I think it was, and they had a commercial on

00:09:44.360 children starvation.

00:09:48.760 Right.

00:09:49.160 And it's, it's a really sad video.

00:09:50.860 Well, very well done.

00:09:52.060 Yeah.

00:09:52.400 You know, it's.

00:09:53.060 Pulls on the heartstrings.

00:09:53.980 Yeah.

00:09:54.240 Poor Timmy's at the table, you know, hungry from school.

00:09:57.480 Mom opens up the fridge.

00:09:58.600 There's nothing in the fridge.

00:09:59.860 She grabs some milk and it barely pours like half a cup.

00:10:03.060 She gives it to him and it's all, you know, and the whole message is like, Hey, do something

00:10:07.440 about this.

00:10:07.940 Like, stop.

00:10:09.380 This shouldn't be happening.

00:10:10.640 Right.

00:10:11.180 Do something to try to prevent this.

00:10:13.080 Donate money.

00:10:13.720 Exactly.

00:10:14.160 Okay.

00:10:15.280 And my.

00:10:15.700 Which isn't bad.

00:10:16.160 I'm not.

00:10:16.380 No, no, no.

00:10:16.740 Okay.

00:10:17.020 Yeah.

00:10:17.240 And I totally agree.

00:10:17.960 But when I saw that, I immediately thought what we do, what you do on this podcast, what

00:10:25.700 we, the conversations we talk about in the iron council, the conversations from the Facebook

00:10:29.320 group help address that problem.

00:10:31.980 I agree.

00:10:32.740 I don't know what the numbers are.

00:10:34.120 So maybe someone can give us the numbers, but I would probably bet that the majority of

00:10:39.580 kids starving in homes, it's in a home where there's no father.

00:10:45.080 Yeah.

00:10:45.520 And it's, it's a home where if some man did not step up, take care of his responsibilities,

00:10:51.200 right?

00:10:52.220 And, and that's kind of at the center of, of what we're talking about is men leveling

00:10:55.860 up and becoming, uh, those protectors, providers, and presiders over, you know, what they're

00:11:03.000 responsible for.

00:11:03.920 Right.

00:11:04.120 Their domain.

00:11:05.040 Yeah.

00:11:05.320 Yeah.

00:11:05.540 And, and even that one little scenario, I thought, what's at the root of that problem?

00:11:09.760 Fatherless homes, maybe.

00:11:10.880 Yeah.

00:11:11.120 You know, and, and that's at the root of so many problems.

00:11:14.360 I mean, if you look at the, uh, the actual statistics for these types of circumstances

00:11:21.720 with fatherless homes, and you look at just about every metric from poverty to, uh, dropout

00:11:28.820 rates, to suicide, to drug use, to failing grades, to depression, uh, violent crime.

00:11:36.860 You look at all of these, these metrics and it is overwhelming.

00:11:42.060 The majority is from fatherless homes.

00:11:44.780 It's crazy, man.

00:11:45.520 It's crazy.

00:11:46.280 Like if we can just solve, solve that simple problem, right?

00:11:49.720 I mean, it's not, it's not a simple problem, but if we can work towards the solution of that

00:11:53.780 problem, we can literally change the entire planet.

00:11:56.820 Yeah.

00:11:57.780 Because of what men go out into the world and do.

00:12:00.940 And, and, and not only do we change this generation, the generation of men who are listening

00:12:04.720 to this podcast, we're changing their sons and we're changing their grandsons and their

00:12:09.120 great grandsons and so on and so forth.

00:12:11.260 Because when you change a man, it's generational, right?

00:12:13.700 What is that guy who listens to this podcast and learns just one thing about how he can better

00:12:18.220 connect with his wife or learn just one thing about how he can take more responsibility at

00:12:22.160 work, get himself a promotion, get himself a raise, go out and start a new business, put

00:12:25.980 some more food on the table, create some more experiences for his family, or the guy who's

00:12:30.300 been sitting on the couch for the last decade, eating Cheetos and bonbons and watching

00:12:33.880 football all day long when he should be maybe getting up a little bit early, getting his

00:12:38.460 butt into the gym and getting his, his, his health in line and in check.

00:12:42.480 What is that guy going to go out and produce?

00:12:44.560 Not just for himself, but for his community, business, employees, coworkers, friends, uh,

00:12:50.400 charitable organizations.

00:12:52.540 It's pretty amazing when you think if we can change one guy, the type of compounding effect

00:12:58.880 that that has in every facet of society.

00:13:03.220 Yeah.

00:13:03.880 And then we're reminded, yep.

00:13:05.940 This is why we have this conversation for sure.

00:13:08.380 For sure.

00:13:09.160 Yeah.

00:13:09.420 It's a little bit of that, uh, that imposter syndrome sometimes, you know, okay.

00:13:13.940 Everybody's very quick to remind me like, what makes you the expert, you know?

00:13:18.080 And, and, and I'm not, you know, I feel like I said it earlier.

00:13:20.740 I feel like I've got some things locked down and I feel like I've got some areas for improvement.

00:13:24.260 So anything that I share is just as much for me as it is for anybody else.

00:13:30.460 Like when I, when I write stuff on Facebook or Instagram, that's for me.

00:13:35.060 Yeah.

00:13:35.740 You know, I'm, I'm reminding myself, oh, I, I've got to be disciplined.

00:13:38.540 Oh, I've got to do these things and I've got to step up.

00:13:40.660 Those are things that are just for me, as much for me as they are for anybody else.

00:13:43.960 Yeah.

00:13:44.280 Well, and it's about facilitating the conversation.

00:13:47.000 Sure.

00:13:47.480 And getting guys.

00:13:48.440 Right.

00:13:48.880 It's, I mean, that's what we do in the Iron Council.

00:13:50.800 We're facilitating conversations for guys to hold each other accountable and to level up.

00:13:56.100 Right.

00:13:56.240 In the end, you know, as battle team leaders or you on this podcast, it's like, there's only so much you can do.

00:14:02.340 Right.

00:14:02.900 Right.

00:14:03.280 We still, everyone needs to take the action, you know, on their own.

00:14:06.520 A hundred percent.

00:14:07.440 Well, should we get into the questions for today?

00:14:08.900 Yeah.

00:14:09.200 I think we've, we did our minimum 15 minute rambling before our first question.

00:14:13.860 So 13 minutes and 48 seconds to be exact.

00:14:16.840 That's not a good, we did better last week.

00:14:18.880 Well, we'll continue to get better.

00:14:20.300 All right.

00:14:21.120 First question from Dennis Morris from the Iron Council.

00:14:28.380 When someone says, what is order of man?

00:14:32.000 How do you define it for someone who knows nothing about it?

00:14:35.080 Same question for the Iron Council.

00:14:36.880 I personally find myself landing somewhere between a group of guys I meet on an, on the internet and one of the best kept secret societies in the world.

00:14:45.740 It seems hard to define if you aren't experiencing it.

00:14:48.820 I mean, it might, and you got to consider who's asking to, right?

00:14:52.480 Like if I'm at the grocery store and the teller's like, so what do you do for work?

00:14:56.600 I don't know if any teller or the clerk at the grocery store happens all the time.

00:15:00.840 They see the beard and they're like, oh, hey, what do you do for work?

00:15:05.300 But let's just assume that would happen.

00:15:08.160 Then I would simply say, oh, I have, I have a blog and a podcast.

00:15:12.020 You know, it's like they, maybe they're just making small chat.

00:15:15.400 They're not really that interested.

00:15:16.740 But if I have someone who's genuinely interested, I might say something to the effect of, I run an organization that gives men the tools and the resources and conversations that they need to be better fathers, husbands, and business owners.

00:15:32.540 And if a lot of times we're like, oh, cool.

00:15:36.400 And I'm like, good.

00:15:37.120 That's all I wanted.

00:15:38.160 You know, a lot of, and sometimes occasionally they'll say, oh, well, how do you do that?

00:15:42.620 Then you delve deeper.

00:15:43.700 Well, we have a podcast and with the iron council, I'll usually say mastermind.

00:15:47.980 Cause a lot of people know what that is.

00:15:49.320 I don't consider it a mastermind.

00:15:51.040 Yeah.

00:15:51.180 But a little bit easier to call it that.

00:15:52.960 Right.

00:15:53.200 Right.

00:15:53.520 Cause people can grasp that pretty, pretty quickly.

00:15:55.760 But if someone was asking about the iron council, I would say it's a mastermind or it's a, it's a brotherhood of, of men, uh, participating in challenges and holding each other accountable to be better fathers, husbands, and business owners.

00:16:08.580 Yeah.

00:16:09.040 Yeah.

00:16:09.540 That's usually how I describe it.

00:16:10.940 Yeah.

00:16:11.300 And most people glaze over at that point and go about their day and all as well.

00:16:15.100 Yeah.

00:16:15.320 But it is a valid question from Dennis's point because I've always, I'm like, oh, you know, should I explain this differently or?

00:16:22.700 I don't have like, I don't have an elevator pitch.

00:16:26.580 You know, when I was in the financial world, that was the thing you had to have the elevator pitch, which I always thought was stupid anyways.

00:16:33.000 It's crazy.

00:16:33.720 Anyway, that's, that's a whole other conversation.

00:16:35.680 Yeah.

00:16:36.040 But I don't have one because I'm not out there trying to like sell the world on what it is I do.

00:16:41.660 Yeah.

00:16:42.120 So it doesn't matter.

00:16:42.860 It doesn't matter.

00:16:43.800 I've got this pot.

00:16:44.820 You know, my wife's a better salesman for order of man than I am.

00:16:47.320 I mean, she talks with her friends and girlfriends and her husbands are asking her when she's better at it than I am.

00:16:51.800 Yeah.

00:16:51.980 She's like, your husband needs to be in the Iron Council.

00:16:54.760 Oh, yeah.

00:16:56.040 No, mostly the women are like, my husband needs, this is, this is not good because I'm not trying

00:17:01.180 to tee guys up or set them up.

00:17:02.740 But like, oh, your husband did that thing.

00:17:05.080 My husband needs to do something like that.

00:17:06.680 And then the guys are like, oh, you're showing us up.

00:17:08.580 Like, I'm not trying to show anybody up.

00:17:10.500 I'm just trying to excel at every facet of my life.

00:17:14.200 If that makes you feel insecure, that's on you, not me.

00:17:16.820 I'm not going to scale back or throttle back because you're uncomfortable with what I'm doing.

00:17:21.340 Yeah.

00:17:21.840 Like, so, so not only do you want to be mediocre, you want me to be mediocre too.

00:17:26.420 Yeah.

00:17:26.600 So you're, so you don't have to level up.

00:17:28.180 Right.

00:17:28.420 No, not interested.

00:17:29.640 Thanks though.

00:17:30.920 Next.

00:17:31.160 That's funny.

00:17:32.000 So Dennis, it's funny.

00:17:33.100 We did a, we had an Echo, Battle Team Echo meetup.

00:17:37.000 Is Dennis on Team Echo?

00:17:38.520 No, he's on Epsilon.

00:17:40.720 Okay.

00:17:41.200 With Nick Farr.

00:17:42.200 Yeah.

00:17:42.500 So we did a Echo meetup and we are, there's probably, is there about eight of us, maybe

00:17:48.900 almost 10 of us that showed up and we went backpacking.

00:17:52.340 Yeah.

00:17:52.760 And we ended up going to a restaurant and having dinner and the waitress was real curious.

00:17:58.500 And she's like, so how do you guys all know each other?

00:18:01.320 And then one of the guy goes, oh, we just have weekly webcam phone calls.

00:18:06.740 We all met on the internet.

00:18:09.560 Sounds weird.

00:18:10.460 And we actually like left it as that.

00:18:12.780 She's like, uh, okay.

00:18:15.600 The one I get a lot of times is people will say, oh, your little man club.

00:18:19.720 Man.

00:18:20.000 How's your little man club going?

00:18:21.600 Asia uses that to me.

00:18:22.980 Yeah.

00:18:23.380 Yeah.

00:18:23.720 And you know, what's funny is a lot of wives will say that about the iron council.

00:18:27.320 Oh, go to your little man club, your new man club.

00:18:30.020 And then three or four months into it, they're like, I don't know what you do in your man

00:18:34.720 club, but keep going to your man club.

00:18:36.600 Cause they see, they see the positive impact and change in, in their husbands and their

00:18:44.400 children's fathers.

00:18:45.520 It's powerful, man.

00:18:46.660 Totally.

00:18:47.080 It's cool.

00:18:47.620 Back in the day we had whiskey.

00:18:49.420 Remember whiskey, whiskey.

00:18:50.920 Yeah, man.

00:18:51.480 And, uh, I've heard guys share that their wife was like, well, what would your whiskey

00:18:55.360 boys think about that?

00:18:56.420 That's right.

00:18:56.880 That's right.

00:19:00.020 All right.

00:19:00.560 Andy, Andy Selig from the iron council as well.

00:19:04.280 When are we going to see the beanie hats?

00:19:06.720 We getting chilly.

00:19:07.680 Yeah.

00:19:07.800 We should have those in like three.

00:19:10.060 Well, let's see.

00:19:11.120 This is going to be, so like three days.

00:19:13.340 Okay.

00:19:14.000 I got them in.

00:19:14.860 I got two of them in.

00:19:15.840 I took one on my hunt and I lost it.

00:19:17.960 I lost my beanie.

00:19:20.060 It's out there in the fields of Texas somewhere.

00:19:23.020 Donated it to a Texan.

00:19:24.220 Or one of the pigs out there because it's out in the field.

00:19:27.460 That's not.

00:19:28.140 Yeah.

00:19:28.440 Yeah.

00:19:28.920 But they're awesome.

00:19:30.360 And it kept me warm for two days.

00:19:31.840 And the third day my ears were cold because I didn't have my beanie.

00:19:34.600 So three days, Black Friday by Friday, maybe next week by next week.

00:19:40.140 Yeah.

00:19:40.540 Maybe.

00:19:41.540 Yeah.

00:19:42.020 I'd like to have them on Friday.

00:19:43.120 Oh, by the way, we're going to do a Black Friday sale.

00:19:47.680 Okay.

00:19:48.480 In the store, store.orderofman.com.

00:19:51.900 I don't have the discount code yet, but why don't we just say Black Friday is the discount

00:19:55.500 code and we'll set that up.

00:19:56.620 All right.

00:19:56.860 So guys, if you're listening, Friday, store.orderofman.com, shirts, hats.

00:20:02.240 Maybe we'll just put the beanies up so you can buy them and then there'll be a couple days

00:20:06.580 on delivery that way you can get a discount on them.

00:20:09.460 But yeah, store.orderofman.com and then Black Friday for the discount.

00:20:13.360 Okay.

00:20:13.700 And what's driving the Black Friday is having to get rid of all those Curve Brin hats and no

00:20:17.640 one ever bought.

00:20:18.220 Yeah.

00:20:18.460 Just get rid of those.

00:20:19.260 Those things are going to be like 80% off and finally get rid of those.

00:20:22.000 In fact, Ryan's going to pay you to buy them.

00:20:25.780 I'm just joking.

00:20:26.760 We do have some new Curve Brin hats that are coming.

00:20:29.320 I was hoping they'd be here a little sooner.

00:20:31.060 They're taking a little longer, but they are pretty cool for a Curve Brin.

00:20:35.380 Cool.

00:20:36.140 Next question.

00:20:37.900 Yeah.

00:20:38.240 Hunter Locke.

00:20:38.920 We've talked a lot about purpose.

00:20:40.880 Purpose in the military is easy.

00:20:43.280 Purpose for, for example, the Underground Railroad Organization is clear.

00:20:48.280 When you are leading an organization that is more traditional business, how have you found

00:20:54.180 is the best way to find and communicate a deeper purpose for that entity and the people

00:20:59.500 in it?

00:21:00.580 Well, let's go back to the days of, of my financial planning.

00:21:03.760 So when I got out of the military, I think Hunter's right.

00:21:07.220 The military purpose is pretty significant, pretty clear.

00:21:11.320 I think everybody has a pretty good understanding of what the purpose is and what the mission

00:21:15.220 is and what you're trying to accomplish.

00:21:16.460 And there's deep and significant meaning behind what it is you're doing.

00:21:19.860 And when you get out, you don't have that, right?

00:21:22.080 So I got out, I got in a long story short, I got in the financial planning field.

00:21:26.220 And so I spent about a decade working with a, with an organization, then, then eventually

00:21:31.680 going out and starting my own firm.

00:21:33.140 And, you know, you can find purpose really in anything, right?

00:21:39.220 You just have to look for it a little deeper.

00:21:41.040 So financial planning, you know, can you say that financial planning or that investing in

00:21:45.820 the stock market is real significant?

00:21:47.600 On the surface, you know, you're investing in stocks like, or, or worrying about your taxes.

00:21:53.360 Like it's not sexy, right?

00:21:55.660 It's there, there's nothing real glamorous about it.

00:21:58.180 And we try to doll it up with like Forex and Bitcoin and this and that.

00:22:02.180 But at the end of the day, it's not financial planning.

00:22:04.100 It's not a sexy thing, but there is a lot of significance in it because what does it ultimately

00:22:09.700 mean?

00:22:10.840 And that's where you find purpose.

00:22:13.020 Ultimately, if you can help a family or a business owner get on track with his finances,

00:22:18.340 he has more freedom to spend with his family.

00:22:21.280 He has less concern.

00:22:22.920 I remember when I was in a financially pretty rough financial situation, I wasn't, I wasn't

00:22:30.080 present for my wife.

00:22:31.520 I wasn't as present for my children because I was so stressed out about making the mortgage

00:22:34.900 payment that I couldn't be available for them.

00:22:36.860 And I couldn't coach my kids teams and I couldn't go to the recitals because I was working late

00:22:40.420 because I had to put food on the table and, and make sure the bills got paid.

00:22:43.720 And that's a stressful time or somebody who's nearing retirement, who's been working in a

00:22:49.280 career for 30, 40 years is now all of a sudden going to go over to the, the, the, the income

00:22:54.260 faucet and turn it off.

00:22:57.140 That's a pretty stressful time for somebody who's like, no more income.

00:23:01.840 What am I going to do now?

00:23:04.100 And if I can get somebody in the position with regards to finances, where you know where that

00:23:08.320 income's coming from, you don't have to worry about your investments.

00:23:12.400 That, that money's growing and you can focus your time and your energy and attention on

00:23:16.960 your kids and grandkids and going on vacations and experiencing and living life the way that

00:23:22.660 you want to live it.

00:23:23.440 Well, then that's pretty significant, right?

00:23:26.680 I, I, I'll take another example.

00:23:29.120 And, and I think a lot of people use this example.

00:23:31.220 I'm not beating up this profession.

00:23:32.540 I'm just using it as an example.

00:23:34.100 You know, a janitor at a school.

00:23:37.300 Can a janitor at a school cleaning up bathrooms and halls and picking off boogers off

00:23:42.120 desks, find purpose in that profession?

00:23:45.200 Yeah, absolutely.

00:23:47.420 Because what happens when a janitor goes in and is keeping the halls clean and is, and

00:23:52.680 is keeping the bathrooms clean and making sure that everything's organized.

00:23:57.120 And what does that do for the learning experience?

00:23:59.160 It enhances it because now these kids aren't focused on clutter and chaos and dirt and grime

00:24:05.040 and disease and everything else.

00:24:06.220 They're focused on their studies and, and building friendships and learning how to communicate

00:24:10.700 and learning all the life skills that they need to be able to thrive in life because

00:24:14.300 of a janitor and a school teacher and the principal and the admin and the, the contractor who built

00:24:20.000 the building and the person who wrote the book, the textbooks and the person who printed or

00:24:24.480 the company who printed it.

00:24:26.020 It's all significant.

00:24:27.380 If you look deeper into what that is actually producing, you know, what you do here with your, with

00:24:34.120 journey teams, like organizational strategy, again, maybe not like the most exciting stuff

00:24:40.760 in the world, but ultimately you're helping businesses thrive, which is bringing new products

00:24:45.860 to market, which is enhancing people's lives, which is putting food on people's tables, giving

00:24:51.360 them jobs.

00:24:52.260 There's a lot of purpose in what you do.

00:24:54.020 Just like there's a lot of purpose in what anybody does.

00:24:56.420 If you're willing to look for it.

00:24:57.880 Yeah.

00:24:58.180 So from your perspective, you're for Hunter, you're saying, Hey, look, look into it.

00:25:02.940 Like give some thought to this, find the deeper meaning of what your, right, your businesses

00:25:08.560 in existence and latch on to.

00:25:10.860 Cause it's not the product.

00:25:12.180 Yeah.

00:25:12.620 It's not the product.

00:25:13.420 The adage is like the guy that goes and buys a drill bit at the store.

00:25:16.680 It doesn't need a drill bit.

00:25:18.560 Yeah.

00:25:19.020 He needs a hole that the drill bit will provide, but he actually doesn't need the hole.

00:25:24.080 He needs whatever the hole is going to do.

00:25:26.300 Right?

00:25:26.660 Yeah.

00:25:27.240 So that's, that's what I'm talking about here is like whatever widget or gizmo or service

00:25:31.760 or product or whatever that you offer, just like this podcast, the podcast is just a medium.

00:25:37.840 It could be a thousand other things.

00:25:39.380 It could be a YouTube channel.

00:25:40.480 It could be a blog.

00:25:41.220 It could be a web show.

00:25:43.040 It could be Instagram, Twitter.

00:25:44.140 I mean, you name it.

00:25:44.780 It could be a thousand different things.

00:25:45.900 The, the, the delivery method, the medium is really not all that important in the grand

00:25:53.320 scheme of things.

00:25:54.020 It's the fact that an hour long conversation that you and I have today will change an employee,

00:25:58.940 will change an employer, will change a husband, will change a father, will change a man in

00:26:02.360 general.

00:26:02.700 And now he's going to go out and create something more significant in his life.

00:26:07.260 So yeah, there's a lot of stuff that we do that's tedious, but there's significance behind

00:26:12.880 it.

00:26:13.060 You got to look deeper, not into what the service or the product or the gizmo or whatever that

00:26:17.180 you're providing.

00:26:17.700 It's what that ultimately creates for another human being.

00:26:23.140 And it has less to do with their physical outcome as much as it does their emotional

00:26:27.820 and mental well-being.

00:26:30.100 Yeah.

00:26:30.580 This is, this is a great question, Hunter, because this is something that's on my mind

00:26:34.700 of late as well.

00:26:36.040 You know, I, I've been here at journey team for it's, I think I'm going on six months or

00:26:40.860 so.

00:26:41.420 Right.

00:26:42.220 And one of the things that I've been trying to do with my team is like, okay, bringing

00:26:47.300 things back to our values, right?

00:26:49.320 Making sure that my team is present to what is our value.

00:26:52.940 So don't, we don't lose focus of why we are in business and you know what I mean?

00:26:58.040 And adding, and to be frank, to add meaning to what we're doing, right?

00:27:01.920 If, if we're doing things from the sake of, well, I'm doing this work so we could build

00:27:06.260 a client and you know, that's, and it stops there.

00:27:09.460 The level of effort I put into that is different than if I'm tied to our value and saying, hey,

00:27:15.620 our value and our purpose is to provide, sorry, I'm yelling, is to provide and create systems

00:27:25.020 that, that better our client's business.

00:27:27.820 If our focus is that, that's the different, that's a different motivator, right?

00:27:31.940 It's not now about just doing the, the bare minimum work.

00:27:35.300 It's now about making sure that we're doing the exactly the right work.

00:27:39.300 So then that way their business profits from it, right?

00:27:42.940 That way they're more efficient.

00:27:44.540 And so not even, and not even that their business profits from it.

00:27:47.960 That's important.

00:27:49.320 But what does the profit mean?

00:27:51.700 Yeah.

00:27:52.300 Good point.

00:27:52.960 Right?

00:27:53.260 Yeah.

00:27:54.380 Go deeper.

00:27:55.360 Good.

00:27:55.980 Profits are great.

00:27:56.780 I love profits.

00:27:58.060 Yeah.

00:27:58.540 That's what a business is supposed to do.

00:27:59.980 But what does the profit ultimately mean?

00:28:02.700 Yeah.

00:28:02.980 And here's one other thing I would say Kip on that too, is that a lot of times people

00:28:06.620 lose their sense of purpose because whatever priorities change or the circumstances or the

00:28:13.240 climate changes.

00:28:14.700 I mean, this is what happened to me in financial planning.

00:28:16.460 I got to do an order of man.

00:28:17.800 And quite frankly, the financial planning just lost some significance for me.

00:28:23.340 It's not that it was less relevant in people's lives.

00:28:26.120 It was just that it was less relevant for me.

00:28:28.320 Yeah.

00:28:28.680 And I lost some of that purpose in that.

00:28:31.400 And I think when you get to that point, you've got to really consider an exit strategy.

00:28:39.820 Right?

00:28:40.340 Like creating something else that is driving and giving you motivation and purpose and

00:28:45.600 significance in your life so that eventually you can step away.

00:28:48.500 Because I felt like towards the end there before I sold my practice that I was actually

00:28:52.540 doing my clients an injustice.

00:28:54.180 And I was very, I was very indifferent to the financial planning field.

00:29:00.740 I mean, people would call me, my clients would call me and they'd say, Hey, I need to make

00:29:03.200 this adjustment on my investment strategy.

00:29:05.020 And I'd be like, Oh, I don't want to do this.

00:29:08.520 I lost that sense of significance and purpose.

00:29:12.500 Maybe not lost, but it was replaced with something that was more significant to me.

00:29:16.520 Now I've got a close friend.

00:29:17.520 In fact, he bought my financial planning practice and he loves it.

00:29:21.700 Yeah.

00:29:22.160 He loves it.

00:29:22.900 Still digging it.

00:29:23.460 And I'm like, from the outside, I'm like, Oh, that looks miserable.

00:29:26.180 And yet he loves it.

00:29:28.120 And he's found purpose and significance and he can see how it all ties together.

00:29:32.540 And he can look at how it's impacting families generationally.

00:29:35.220 The same, he says the same things about his financial planning practice that I say about

00:29:40.280 order of man.

00:29:41.040 Yeah.

00:29:41.560 Isn't that crazy?

00:29:42.500 That's, but it's how awesome.

00:29:44.820 Yeah.

00:29:45.340 Right.

00:29:45.700 Cause with that purpose, he's, he's approaching that so drastically different.

00:29:49.160 Right.

00:29:49.440 Yeah.

00:29:49.880 If he didn't have it.

00:29:50.800 And, and we've talked about this in the past and, and I think it just, it reiterates conversations

00:29:56.020 we've had before is make it right.

00:30:00.460 If, if that purpose is lacking in your organization or within your company, create that purpose.

00:30:05.480 Yeah, absolutely.

00:30:06.140 Identify what it is and, and, and reinvent it if you have to.

00:30:11.080 So yeah, a hundred percent.

00:30:12.820 Right.

00:30:13.220 Cool.

00:30:14.080 All right, Joshua.

00:30:15.100 We're starting to sound alike.

00:30:15.880 We say cool at the same time.

00:30:17.200 I know.

00:30:17.400 Cool.

00:30:18.440 It's rubbing off my head.

00:30:20.320 I have baby beard compared to Ryan's.

00:30:22.660 You do, man.

00:30:23.660 Beard.

00:30:24.020 Beard.

00:30:24.340 Beard.

00:30:24.380 Beard.

00:30:24.460 Beard.

00:30:24.540 Beard.

00:30:24.620 Beard.

00:30:24.740 Beard.

00:30:24.940 We'll start calling you baby face.

00:30:27.200 Josh Guerrero.

00:30:28.920 Ryan and Kip.

00:30:29.980 Yes, Kip.

00:30:30.840 I want to hear your answers to this too, brother.

00:30:33.880 Thank you, man.

00:30:34.840 Appreciate it, Josh.

00:30:35.900 Ryan never lets me talk, by the way, on this podcast.

00:30:38.760 I'm just joking.

00:30:39.660 Just get to the question.

00:30:41.400 You, I gave you plenty of time to ask the question.

00:30:44.460 All right.

00:30:45.980 You both have brought up Batman as a favorite superhero before, but who is your favorite

00:30:50.660 superhero in the Marvel universe?

00:30:53.380 You can earn cool points if you say the Punisher.

00:30:57.080 Hoorah.

00:30:58.340 The Punisher's cool.

00:31:00.040 No doubt.

00:31:02.380 But I think the equivalent, I think somebody had mentioned this.

00:31:05.560 I think the equivalent to Batman in the Marvel universe is Iron Man, right?

00:31:14.480 Like he's intelligent, he's wealthy, but outside of that, he has no super powers.

00:31:19.580 He's just intelligent and wealthy.

00:31:21.160 Totally.

00:31:21.600 And then he uses it to serve other people.

00:31:25.860 It's a nerdy version of Batman.

00:31:28.300 Yeah.

00:31:30.160 A slightly more arrogant version.

00:31:32.960 If we're talking about the films, that is.

00:31:36.200 Copy.

00:31:36.440 So, I think Iron Man.

00:31:38.660 I don't know really who else.

00:31:39.820 What is there?

00:31:40.200 There's Thor.

00:31:41.860 There's the Hulk.

00:31:44.020 There's, who's the guy that flings the arrows?

00:31:47.320 That's who it should be.

00:31:48.040 What's that guy's name?

00:31:50.380 Oh, man.

00:31:51.220 We suck.

00:31:52.600 I'm not into the comic book world.

00:31:54.520 Dang it.

00:31:54.780 Hawkeye.

00:31:55.560 Hawkeye.

00:31:56.760 And the chick.

00:31:57.880 You got the chick.

00:31:58.960 She has no special powers either.

00:32:01.480 Black.

00:32:02.000 What's her name?

00:32:02.280 Black Widow.

00:32:02.680 Black Widow.

00:32:03.440 Yeah.

00:32:04.940 And then you have the dimensions, the Doctor Strange.

00:32:10.520 Yeah, he's lame.

00:32:13.020 Green Lantern.

00:32:14.000 Where is he?

00:32:14.440 Where does he fall?

00:32:15.240 Ant-Man.

00:32:16.400 Wasp boy or woman?

00:32:18.320 I'm just thinking of all the Avenger movies and trying to figure out who it is.

00:32:21.380 There's so many.

00:32:22.220 There's too many.

00:32:23.340 The Hulk?

00:32:23.740 I went to a movie the other day with a friend, his wife and my wife, and we went out and we

00:32:30.220 watched the previews.

00:32:31.080 And there was like four of the five previews were remakes of movies or like the 17th iteration.

00:32:38.980 Of Robin Hood.

00:32:39.800 Right.

00:32:40.260 Yeah, that was actually one of them.

00:32:41.540 Totally.

00:32:41.940 And after the movie, or I think after the previews, my buddy leaned over.

00:32:45.320 He's like, apparently we've reached a point in humanity where we've run out of every single

00:32:49.640 possible idea we could ever have.

00:32:51.280 And we just have to rehash old ideas.

00:32:53.340 Yeah.

00:32:54.040 So lame.

00:32:55.220 It's interesting.

00:32:56.000 I'm done with the Marvel Comet or the, what do you call, what do you, Avengers.

00:33:01.680 I'm done with the Avengers, man.

00:33:03.080 Yeah.

00:33:03.380 How many things do you need to make?

00:33:05.220 Like make something new.

00:33:06.380 But Punisher is definitely cool.

00:33:07.960 I think there's, I think that speaks to a lot of guys' hearts.

00:33:12.340 The revenge and the, there's a, the Punisher's good.

00:33:15.500 And there's a movie that kind of reminds me of it called Law Abiding Citizen.

00:33:20.080 Have you seen that?

00:33:20.880 Uh-uh.

00:33:21.440 With, um, what's the guy's name?

00:33:23.220 The guy in 300.

00:33:23.880 Gerard Butler.

00:33:24.740 Okay.

00:33:25.820 It's a good movie.

00:33:27.660 It's a really good movie.

00:33:29.280 What's the, he, uh, somebody breaks into his house and kills his family because they're

00:33:38.000 robbing it and they ended up robbing him in his house and kills his family.

00:33:41.760 And he just goes on, comes back and just, but he, but he takes 10 years before he comes

00:33:47.640 back to plan it all.

00:33:50.020 And he's, he's very, he's like an ex CIA guy or whatever.

00:33:53.980 And, uh, and he studies law and, and what he, what he comes to the conclusion of is that

00:34:00.780 the guy who actually killed his family got off because they made a deal with a state.

00:34:04.880 And so now he has it out for the state and has it out for the two guys that killed his

00:34:08.940 family.

00:34:09.740 And so he sets it all up and then he's like, he's just telling him, I'm going to bring

00:34:13.300 down the whole system.

00:34:14.380 Like it's awesome.

00:34:15.720 He builds a career in preparation of this.

00:34:19.480 Like he goes, I mean, I don't think he did it for, no, no, no, no, no.

00:34:22.140 He was a CIA agent or something, some sort of special operator prior to this event.

00:34:27.620 And then he spends 10 years of like planning and research and then just kills everybody.

00:34:34.940 That's awesome.

00:34:36.620 All right.

00:34:37.480 What else?

00:34:38.400 Okay.

00:34:38.960 So we're jumping into the Facebook group.

00:34:40.480 Cool.

00:34:40.940 Uh, which you guys can join at facebook.com forward slash groups, forward slash order of

00:34:45.860 man.

00:34:46.040 I'm never going to get used to.

00:34:47.060 Forward slash.

00:34:47.680 I keep saying forward slash.

00:34:48.740 Just say slash.

00:34:49.440 Slash.

00:34:50.340 Geek.

00:34:50.940 All right.

00:34:51.420 Geek.

00:34:51.680 Is that the acceptable one?

00:34:52.800 Yeah.

00:34:53.220 Yeah.

00:34:53.380 Geeks.

00:34:53.700 Okay.

00:34:55.880 You've been called worse.

00:34:57.260 Yeah.

00:34:57.820 I'm considered stealth geek because people don't know unless, uh, I say forward slash.

00:35:02.580 You're a ghost geek.

00:35:04.720 Sleeper geek.

00:35:05.840 Sleeper geek.

00:35:07.240 With my ghost gun.

00:35:10.180 All right.

00:35:10.940 What else?

00:35:11.920 All right.

00:35:12.700 Uh, Louis.

00:35:14.800 Uh, Louis.

00:35:16.360 Call up.

00:35:17.540 Call of it.

00:35:17.840 Call of it.

00:35:17.860 Call of it.

00:35:18.840 Call of it.

00:35:19.340 Yeah.

00:35:20.160 Call of it.

00:35:21.140 Um, oh yeah.

00:35:21.920 We're going to get just straight up serious here.

00:35:23.820 So I want to hear more about Kip's divorce.

00:35:26.620 It would be interesting, uh, interesting hearing what he went through and how it didn't end

00:35:32.220 up working out.

00:35:34.840 Next question.

00:35:38.500 Uh, do you want to answer that?

00:35:39.760 Yeah.

00:35:40.000 I actually don't mind, uh, because, because I think one of the, the ways I, I talk about

00:35:47.580 my divorce, um, is not how typical men talk about them.

00:35:53.700 How so?

00:35:54.420 Well, I'll give you a perfect example.

00:35:57.020 I, I, I was teaching a gospel doctrine class, uh, of a couple of weeks back and, um, I was

00:36:06.680 sharing like a story in the Bible about, um, uh, kind of a divorce, but it was really

00:36:13.660 like adultery and, and they forgave their spouse and, you know what I mean?

00:36:18.440 Worked through this whole scenario.

00:36:19.440 And I shared the fact that, that I got divorced.

00:36:24.720 Um, I didn't share any details, but I said in my sharing that it was my fault and that's

00:36:31.220 it.

00:36:31.600 No excuse, no reason, no backstory.

00:36:35.520 And the, and the irony was part of me was like, oh, everyone in that room may actually

00:36:39.900 think like, Hey, Kip cheated on his wife and who knows what he did.

00:36:44.140 Right.

00:36:44.420 But guess what?

00:36:45.780 I'm not in a, like, if that's my concern, then my sharing or my communication and my

00:36:52.340 ownership of it would be different.

00:36:54.500 It would sound like an excuse.

00:36:56.140 Does that make sense?

00:36:57.140 Well, it would sound more in that context, more selfish.

00:37:00.540 Like you were doing it for you.

00:37:02.300 You're more concerned than using it as a tool to teach.

00:37:05.240 Exactly.

00:37:05.740 The principle.

00:37:06.360 Exactly.

00:37:06.980 Right.

00:37:07.160 And so, um, yeah, so, but yeah, so let's, uh, I'll, I'll make it quick.

00:37:11.480 So I'll hear more.

00:37:12.360 It's interesting.

00:37:14.360 Yeah.

00:37:14.760 So what do I say?

00:37:15.520 So let me say this, Lewis, and cause it, maybe this might be valuable to some guys,

00:37:20.460 the most difficult time in my life by far, uh, on a regular basis.

00:37:28.560 I would, I, I've done marathons and I never started running until I was in the process of

00:37:35.460 getting divorced because it was the only thing I could possibly think of to exhaust myself

00:37:41.560 and to get out all my anger and frustration or whatever.

00:37:45.400 Cause I didn't have jujitsu at the time and I would just run and run and run.

00:37:50.200 And sometime, and I was living in Arizona at the time and I had no idea how long I'd run

00:37:54.940 some nights.

00:37:55.400 I would just keep running and half the time I'd run and be crying and feeling sigh for

00:38:01.580 myself and, and blaming the Lord for, you know what I mean?

00:38:06.400 Not helping me and just all kinds of, uh, not taking responsibility.

00:38:13.880 And, and ultimately it was, it was a super, super tough, difficult time in my life, but

00:38:18.640 ultimately, um, and I remember the day like it was yesterday.

00:38:22.380 Um, I, I live my, I live my life as a husband and as a father, as a victim, 100%.

00:38:31.480 If our marriage was not going well, it was her fault.

00:38:34.720 Um, and I honestly, truly believed it.

00:38:37.340 I really did believe it.

00:38:38.740 And I was unhappy and I really felt that, my man, if she would only do these things, then

00:38:43.800 I'd be happy.

00:38:44.840 Right.

00:38:45.300 I really gave that over to her and put that responsibility on her.

00:38:50.040 And I took no responsibility whatsoever.

00:38:52.580 And so when, uh, when she wanted to get a divorce, once again, I was blaming her for

00:38:58.220 it.

00:38:58.380 This is not what I want.

00:38:59.480 I don't want this.

00:39:00.500 It's your fault.

00:39:01.660 You know what I mean?

00:39:02.300 And I was a stubborn ass even to some extent, like I'm not doing anything.

00:39:05.980 If you want a divorce, you'd get, I have to fill all the paperwork and you know what

00:39:08.960 I mean?

00:39:09.440 Because I was taking no ownership whatsoever of the divorce, but in the grand scheme of things,

00:39:13.440 I wasn't taking no ownership of the relationship either.

00:39:15.960 And, um, and I remember the night like it was yesterday that things aligned with me, maybe

00:39:26.640 pondering enough and me running enough and just evaluating who I was as a husband, um,

00:39:32.720 and as a father.

00:39:33.580 And I came to a conclusion one night that I, it was like a bad joke.

00:39:37.640 It was like someone slapped me up the side of the head.

00:39:40.100 And I all of a sudden was like, oh my gosh, this is my fault.

00:39:44.880 I created this like, and I started evaluating how I was for the last few years, how I treated

00:39:51.660 her, how I treated my kids.

00:39:53.200 And I, and I came to the conclusion that, that my marriage is failing 100% because of

00:39:58.420 me.

00:39:58.860 Do you think 100% though?

00:40:00.940 How's this?

00:40:02.540 I'm in 100% control of whether I could have worked it out.

00:40:06.760 And I honestly believe that I honestly, you think if you could have done something differently

00:40:11.800 than it would have turned out differently is what you're saying.

00:40:13.840 Drastically.

00:40:14.680 Yeah.

00:40:15.540 I totally, I 100% believe that.

00:40:18.060 The only reason I asked that, cause I lean more towards what you're saying.

00:40:20.840 Yeah.

00:40:21.100 The reason I asked that is because I know a lot of guys will say, well, it takes two to

00:40:24.600 tango.

00:40:26.580 Yes.

00:40:27.040 Sure.

00:40:27.520 Of course.

00:40:28.240 Yeah.

00:40:28.400 And, and I would be willing to bet without knowing the details of the situation that she probably

00:40:32.520 had some things to work on as well.

00:40:34.020 For sure.

00:40:34.360 But could I have made it work?

00:40:37.760 I, I certainly could have for sure.

00:40:40.600 I can see that.

00:40:41.460 Yeah.

00:40:42.000 And, and your level of influence too, right?

00:40:44.500 Like, so, so if you improve yourself and you're more positively influential, how does

00:40:50.380 she begin to improve herself?

00:40:51.880 Totally.

00:40:52.300 Right.

00:40:52.480 Well, and one of the analogies I think about all the time is like, I don't know, take any

00:40:57.140 woman and, and have her marry the perfect man.

00:41:00.780 Do you think that she was, she would be a great wife if married to the perfect man?

00:41:07.780 Probably.

00:41:08.340 Yeah.

00:41:08.520 Yeah.

00:41:08.660 Cause he would, he would empower her.

00:41:10.620 Totally.

00:41:11.480 Right.

00:41:12.000 Set, set the tone for the marriage, right.

00:41:14.480 Address all of her current needs and you know what I mean?

00:41:17.900 And, and love her in a way that she wants to be loved and adore her and you know what

00:41:22.860 I mean?

00:41:23.040 And be an amazing father.

00:41:24.120 Of course.

00:41:24.780 So I think those opportunities would, would change the dynamics of the family.

00:41:28.780 And not only, I will say this too, though, not only the love and the adoration and that,

00:41:33.520 and those sorts of things, that's all good, but also challenge.

00:41:37.200 I've thought a lot about this in relationships.

00:41:38.820 Like our job is to challenge our partners.

00:41:41.420 Grow.

00:41:41.800 Yeah.

00:41:42.160 And I'm not saying challenging, like be an asshole so she can learn to deal with it,

00:41:46.140 but I'm saying improve, grow, develop, expand, encourage, challenge her to do the

00:41:52.420 same thing.

00:41:52.840 The more that you can challenge in a positive way, a constructive way, the better off she's

00:41:57.020 going to be too.

00:41:57.860 Yeah, totally.

00:41:59.120 So our job, and I'll even look at that as a father, you know, our job is to deliberately

00:42:03.980 and intentionally place obstacles in front of our children so that they have to learn to

00:42:08.500 be able to overcome, go around or through those obstacles in a controlled environment

00:42:13.080 under our care, right?

00:42:14.260 Yeah, for sure.

00:42:15.240 Yeah.

00:42:15.480 And, and the impact of divorce for any guys that's thinking like jumping ship early, guys,

00:42:21.940 it's, it's, it's huge and you're a damn fool.

00:42:24.680 Like I hate this.

00:42:25.660 I used to hate this with yet, you know, we're getting divorced and people say, Oh, don't

00:42:30.440 worry.

00:42:30.840 And you'll find a better woman and kids are resilient.

00:42:33.820 They'll be fine.

00:42:35.120 Okay.

00:42:35.520 Sure.

00:42:35.820 But in the same token is will my kids possibly internalize the fact that their mom and dad

00:42:44.360 separated and they don't, they're not with their father a hundred percent of the time

00:42:49.120 and make that possibly mean something for them.

00:42:51.560 For sure.

00:42:52.280 Like the impact of divorce, guess what?

00:42:55.480 The impact of divorce will not even rear its head probably until my sons are old enough

00:43:01.020 and they probably start considered getting married and then they go, Oh, I'm not committed

00:43:06.700 for some odd reason.

00:43:07.500 I'm really paranoid about this.

00:43:08.980 Yeah.

00:43:09.300 You know what I mean?

00:43:09.800 All these demons, right?

00:43:11.640 That I possibly played a major part in placing in them was a result of that divorce.

00:43:17.180 So now in the same token, I can't just live through my divorce and woe is me and feel

00:43:24.060 sorry for the whole situation.

00:43:25.300 I have to level up and do my best with what I have.

00:43:27.980 But, but I hate the fact, I hate it.

00:43:30.720 I just can't stand it.

00:43:31.980 It's like one of those things that just drives me nuts when people downplay, Oh, you'll be

00:43:37.040 better off and it's okay.

00:43:38.080 You know what?

00:43:38.420 Guess what?

00:43:38.800 No, guess what?

00:43:39.580 It's not okay.

00:43:40.840 You will be okay, but yeah.

00:43:43.640 Right.

00:43:44.160 But I will pay that price.

00:43:45.740 I still pay that price.

00:43:47.180 I pay that price today.

00:43:49.200 Even today I pay that price for that divorce.

00:43:51.460 How do my kids live with me, live with me full time?

00:43:55.100 No, they live in Arizona.

00:43:56.400 I'm a, I'm a holiday father with my two oldest boys.

00:44:03.200 And so when my boys get into trouble, right.

00:44:07.340 And there's probably possible issues.

00:44:09.100 Do you not think I think, Hmm, if I was there full time, would it be different?

00:44:13.300 Yeah.

00:44:14.040 Right.

00:44:14.360 Is my influence limited because I'm not around them?

00:44:17.380 Right.

00:44:17.860 Like the, the problem is there for sure.

00:44:20.500 For sure.

00:44:20.940 And, and, and, and Lewis, just so you understand how serious this was for me.

00:44:25.140 So the, the, here's the, here's the crazy part about my divorce and we'll get on, onto

00:44:29.260 another subject.

00:44:29.860 Sorry, but don't, I mean, don't apologize.

00:44:32.200 Cause there's so many guys out there that are going through this.

00:44:35.040 So I think they need to hear this.

00:44:37.400 Yeah.

00:44:37.700 They need to hear it.

00:44:38.440 Keep going.

00:44:38.780 So I got divorced and she moved out and for the next five years, I dated her on and off.

00:44:49.280 Wait, hold on back.

00:44:50.460 So you dated, who, who did you date?

00:44:52.100 I'm just, I just got a little off track.

00:44:53.800 My ex-wife.

00:44:54.860 So this is, this is how this happened.

00:44:57.060 Okay.

00:44:57.300 So we'd get divorced.

00:44:58.540 Right.

00:44:59.360 And she'd be like, I'm done and whatever, whatever.

00:45:01.760 And I do my logical guy thing.

00:45:03.420 Okay.

00:45:03.660 She says she's done.

00:45:04.540 I'm moving on.

00:45:05.120 Right.

00:45:05.300 And then, and, and I'm, I'm saying this carefully cause I don't want to place judge

00:45:10.700 too much judgment on her, but every so often she'd be like, Hey, maybe we should try to

00:45:15.520 make a work.

00:45:16.220 Yeah.

00:45:16.740 Yeah.

00:45:17.080 Right.

00:45:17.420 Or, or maybe, you know, she got out of a relationship and maybe some of it was, she was, she was just

00:45:22.520 lonely or whatever.

00:45:24.600 Right.

00:45:24.900 But I constantly, okay, let's try it.

00:45:29.660 Let's try to save this family.

00:45:30.760 And, and for five years, I was constantly in limbo with her trying to put my family together.

00:45:38.400 And that's how, and by the way, that's the way I saw it too.

00:45:41.600 I felt like I was trying to save my family.

00:45:45.100 Okay.

00:45:46.620 Now, a lot of people criticize me.

00:45:49.460 What the hell are you doing?

00:45:52.060 You know, she's just taking advantage of you and she's, you know what I mean?

00:45:55.980 And whatever, and, and I would suggest that, that the world, everyone knows their limit.

00:46:03.100 Everyone knows what they're capable of dealing with.

00:46:05.260 And the world put a label on that as me being a sucker.

00:46:10.000 I put the label on it of, I made sure.

00:46:14.300 And I tried.

00:46:15.680 Now, was that hell?

00:46:17.540 Oh yes, it was.

00:46:18.820 In fact, it felt like I was getting divorced over and over again for the next five years.

00:46:22.740 Yeah, it's probably worse than just being severed completely.

00:46:24.360 It does not work, right?

00:46:26.000 Like you can, you cannot be in a, in a uncommitted relationship with your ex-wife, right?

00:46:31.500 It's super, super like emotionally destructive, but in the same token, um, as poorly as I may

00:46:39.540 have tried, I tried, you know, and I made sure.

00:46:43.080 Yeah.

00:46:43.760 And, um, and eventually I came to the realization that, yeah, this is, this is not work.

00:46:49.400 And not only, it's just not going to emotionally work for me anymore either, right?

00:46:53.740 Like I, I can't, I can't try anymore.

00:46:56.720 Um, but you made sure.

00:46:58.000 So then I moved on.

00:46:58.380 Yeah.

00:46:58.700 And I made sure.

00:46:59.380 And so you, you, some people may, and we have a tendency to do that, I think, right?

00:47:04.780 It's like the way I see it is if I died, the Lord is not going to look at me and say,

00:47:10.100 Hey Kip, uh, man, you were a sucker for five years for trying to keep your family together.

00:47:17.260 You sucker.

00:47:18.280 Yeah.

00:47:18.520 No, he's going to say, way to put yourself through the grind, way to try, way to make

00:47:24.400 sure that you couldn't make, make it work.

00:47:27.820 And, and that's, and that's how I see, that's how I see those five years, tough five years.

00:47:32.740 I'm sure.

00:47:33.640 But thanks for sharing, man.

00:47:35.380 Yeah.

00:47:36.160 It's hard to share stuff like that.

00:47:37.980 I remember I shared when I shared my, the first time I shared about my separation.

00:47:42.880 Yeah.

00:47:43.240 It's tough, man.

00:47:44.100 But those are the stories people need to hear.

00:47:46.100 Yeah.

00:47:46.320 And there's so many, and I shared this actually just, well, when I said I taught that gospel

00:47:52.060 doctrine class a few weeks ago, I shared this during the, the, the largest growth in my

00:47:57.840 life happened at that time.

00:48:00.620 And so, and the way, and I use that as a reminder to me that that is where growth is always.

00:48:08.000 We have this tendency, right?

00:48:09.520 To think that like, okay, what do I need to do in my life to make life comfortable and easy?

00:48:13.760 And when it's comfortable and easy, then I've quote unquote made it.

00:48:17.060 Right.

00:48:17.680 Guys, that's not what life's about.

00:48:19.540 No.

00:48:20.080 There's no made it.

00:48:21.260 Yeah.

00:48:21.640 And, and guess what?

00:48:22.760 You want to grow?

00:48:24.180 Don't be comfortable.

00:48:25.340 Yeah.

00:48:25.820 So if, if there's growth, if we're focused on growth and becoming better men, don't think

00:48:30.680 that that's fine in comfort.

00:48:32.100 Yeah.

00:48:32.600 Right.

00:48:32.820 Or happiness, the one that always kills me is like, I just want to be happy.

00:48:36.360 I'm like, do you really?

00:48:38.040 Like, is that really what you want?

00:48:40.080 No.

00:48:41.040 Like if you spent any amount of time thinking about it, you don't want to be happy all the

00:48:47.560 time.

00:48:48.700 It's sat on the surface.

00:48:50.200 It sounds amazing, but I think there's a difference between happiness and fulfillment.

00:48:55.220 Yeah.

00:48:55.940 Fulfillment is the achievement of some worthwhile goal that you had to work hard to, to have.

00:49:01.800 Happiness is, I just bought a new truck.

00:49:04.100 Yeah.

00:49:04.540 Excitement.

00:49:05.200 Happiness and excitement are very common.

00:49:07.540 And look, it's great to be happy.

00:49:09.520 I like to be happy, but you can't be happy a hundred percent of the time.

00:49:13.900 And if you're trying to be, you're a liar.

00:49:16.980 You're either lying to yourself or other people.

00:49:18.920 And that is a recipe for disaster.

00:49:20.860 Or you're probably not going after something important.

00:49:23.100 No, but even then I would, I would argue that even then you wouldn't be happy because

00:49:28.600 you know that you're capable of more and you're, you're, you're, you're, you're leaving

00:49:33.440 it.

00:49:33.700 Like you're, you're, you're avoiding your potential.

00:49:36.840 And so you're not, it's not that you're not happy.

00:49:40.140 It's that you're actually discouraged.

00:49:42.020 I think that's where a lot of depression comes into play is these people are living these

00:49:46.760 sedentary lifestyles.

00:49:47.880 These men are just like, just complete zombies to life.

00:49:51.660 They're like, what's wrong with me?

00:49:52.940 It's like, when's the last time you struggled?

00:49:55.440 Yeah.

00:49:56.240 Whether that means going into the gym or having a difficult conversation or exerting yourself

00:50:00.580 a little bit above and beyond at work or going and running and, and doing an extra mile

00:50:04.680 than you thought you could.

00:50:05.940 When is the last time that you really, really struggled?

00:50:10.560 Oh, it's been so long.

00:50:12.180 That's why you're depressed.

00:50:13.240 Cause you're not overcoming anything.

00:50:14.940 Yeah.

00:50:16.020 You're not achieving any, any measure of success in your life.

00:50:19.060 I would be depressed if I was like that too.

00:50:21.280 Yeah.

00:50:21.500 In fact, I was like that.

00:50:22.900 Well, and where does your self-confidence come from?

00:50:25.000 Doing things, accomplishment, accomplishment, overcoming something.

00:50:28.140 Right.

00:50:29.160 Yeah.

00:50:29.320 So people that chase around happiness, I think is, is, is this fleeting, moving target that

00:50:34.700 isn't, even if you've managed to achieve it for some level of, of, of time, it's, it's

00:50:41.580 fleeting.

00:50:42.080 It's fleeting and it's just not, to me, it's not the ultimate goal.

00:50:45.980 Yeah.

00:50:47.860 Cause like, cause I think about that in relationships.

00:50:50.040 Like, oh, I just want to be happy in my relationship.

00:50:52.320 No, I want to be fulfilled.

00:50:54.060 I want her to challenge me to be a better man.

00:50:56.700 I want to challenge her to be a better woman.

00:50:59.280 I want to do things that are difficult together.

00:51:01.240 I want to experience some ups and I don't want to experience downs, but I know that the

00:51:04.600 downs need to happen in order to have the ups, right?

00:51:07.120 Yeah.

00:51:07.620 That's anyways.

00:51:09.020 What, what else we got?

00:51:10.860 Thanks again for sharing that.

00:51:11.920 Kip.

00:51:12.020 Yeah.

00:51:12.140 Appreciate that.

00:51:12.540 That's tough.

00:51:12.900 I know.

00:51:13.320 No worries.

00:51:13.980 Uh, Marcus, we can hug it out later.

00:51:16.940 We will.

00:51:18.440 We'll do that when the mics are, are turned off.

00:51:20.520 Sounds kinky.

00:51:23.240 Okay.

00:51:24.020 Marcus.

00:51:24.820 You always take it one step too far, man.

00:51:26.960 I thought about it.

00:51:27.900 I'm like, I shouldn't say it.

00:51:28.540 Oh, I'm going to say it.

00:51:30.360 Uh, Marcus.

00:51:32.980 Denebriga.

00:51:33.880 Denebriga.

00:51:34.460 Yeah.

00:51:34.800 Denebriga.

00:51:35.200 Yeah.

00:51:35.340 What is both of your thoughts on bow slash spear hunting versus firearm, firearm hunting?

00:51:42.500 Though also, would you consider one of them more manly?

00:51:45.300 Um, well, what are my thoughts on bow?

00:51:51.120 I think hunting is good.

00:51:53.580 I think every man should hunt regardless of firearm or spear.

00:51:57.640 I'm just going to throw that out there right now.

00:51:59.160 I think every man should hunt and I'm not saying permanently hunt, but I'm saying should experience

00:52:03.520 a hunt and, and, and there's going to be guys in here.

00:52:06.300 You don't need to be a hunter to be a man.

00:52:08.220 I agree.

00:52:09.160 I agree.

00:52:09.680 I wouldn't put that in the definition of masculinity, but I definitely believe that it enhances

00:52:14.460 your masculinity.

00:52:16.460 You don't, if you've never been hunted, I don't think that makes you less of a man.

00:52:19.840 I just think that there's some opportunities inside the world of hunting that I have been

00:52:24.700 exposed to over the past 12 months.

00:52:26.320 And that's, that's all it's been for me that have made me a better man.

00:52:30.020 Yeah.

00:52:30.900 So I think every man ought to experience a hunt.

00:52:35.180 And, and, and I don't know how else to say that now spear hunting or bow hunting versus

00:52:42.080 firearm hunting.

00:52:42.820 I don't, I don't care.

00:52:43.720 Do it, do it works for you.

00:52:44.900 I like bow hunting because it's more challenging.

00:52:47.660 I've, I've done a couple of rifle hunts and those are fun and rewarding too, but there's,

00:52:52.880 there's an, there's an added level of challenge.

00:52:55.340 In fact, when I was in Texas, we did something called hog dogging.

00:52:59.740 Never even heard of this before.

00:53:02.120 It was amazing.

00:53:03.260 So we have dogs and we're tracking hogs, right?

00:53:09.100 Hog dogging.

00:53:09.660 Okay.

00:53:10.820 And so.

00:53:11.480 Boars, wild boars.

00:53:12.920 Okay.

00:53:13.360 Boars and, and sows.

00:53:14.540 So pigs.

00:53:15.540 Okay.

00:53:15.940 All right.

00:53:16.260 Because the boar is the male and the sows, the female.

00:53:18.620 Okay.

00:53:18.820 So, so pigs, it didn't matter if it was a sow or just wild, wild.

00:53:22.480 Yeah.

00:53:22.820 Right.

00:53:23.020 Okay.

00:53:24.180 So they, the guy that we went with, he had two, two tracking dogs.

00:53:28.200 So we'd let these dogs go and he had them on GPS.

00:53:29.960 And so he could see where they'd go and they'd, they'd find a boar.

00:53:32.640 They sent a whore up, sent a boar.

00:53:35.120 And he would just use the GPS to get to where the dogs are.

00:53:37.180 And then we'd see where the dogs are.

00:53:37.960 That's awesome.

00:53:38.240 And then they would bay the boar up and then they have a catch dog and the catch dog goes

00:53:42.160 and pins the boar down, like grabs it by the ears mostly and pins it down.

00:53:46.460 And then you stab it with a knife.

00:53:51.080 That's cool.

00:53:51.700 And so we went on this and the guy we went with, he tracked one down and he, he, he got a

00:53:57.340 little bit of ahead of us as me and my boy.

00:53:58.920 So we got a little bit behind and so we were following the dogs and we ran up there about

00:54:03.060 a mile or whatever.

00:54:03.820 And, um, yeah, he killed this hog with a, with a knife.

00:54:08.020 Yeah.

00:54:08.540 Just let it throw up probably or something.

00:54:10.320 Yeah.

00:54:10.600 It was crazy.

00:54:11.080 Well, stabbed it.

00:54:12.160 Yeah.

00:54:12.720 But yeah, it was, it was crazy and awesome.

00:54:15.240 So is one more manly than the other?

00:54:17.460 Um, I don't know if I'd say manly, but I would say there's definitely an element, an added

00:54:24.580 level of challenge with a bow hunt compared to a knife or a spear hunt.

00:54:28.920 Yeah.

00:54:29.860 So is it more manly?

00:54:32.380 No.

00:54:33.280 Cause men are what, think about this for thousands and thousands, tens of thousands of years,

00:54:38.800 men have been what creating tools in order to more effectively achieve an outcome.

00:54:45.100 Yeah.

00:54:45.800 Whether that was the spear or the bow or the wheel or the computer or the podcast or whatever,

00:54:52.760 we are, there's a quote and I can't remember who said it or even the total quote, but it

00:54:56.720 says men are, are tool wielding animals with them.

00:54:59.980 We are everything without them.

00:55:01.120 We are nothing.

00:55:01.600 So a firearm is simply a tool.

00:55:05.000 It's just, it's an advanced tool relative to the bow, but it's a tool.

00:55:08.900 So does it make it more manly than, than the other?

00:55:11.660 No.

00:55:12.560 It just means there's an added level with, of, of, of challenge with a bow and then an

00:55:18.080 even more added enhanced level of challenge with a spear or a knife.

00:55:22.040 Yeah.

00:55:22.700 I'll be honest.

00:55:23.620 If I saw some dude hunting anything with a spear, I would think you are more manly.

00:55:28.860 Well, and that's because the challenge.

00:55:30.740 Yeah, totally.

00:55:31.680 Take it on a new challenge.

00:55:32.840 Right.

00:55:33.100 Yeah.

00:55:33.300 It's the, it's the level of challenge.

00:55:34.840 It's the challenge that's manly.

00:55:36.240 Sure.

00:55:36.740 That's funny.

00:55:38.160 Yeah.

00:55:38.500 Do people spear hunt?

00:55:40.060 Yeah.

00:55:40.280 Oh yeah.

00:55:40.780 With what?

00:55:41.300 What are you hunting with a spear?

00:55:43.600 Pink.

00:55:44.360 That's crazy.

00:55:44.900 Deer, boar, you get them under a tree and spear them.

00:55:48.460 Yeah.

00:55:48.880 That's awesome.

00:55:49.840 It is awesome.

00:55:51.340 That's pretty awesome.

00:55:52.800 Cool.

00:55:53.440 All right.

00:55:53.920 Sam Green.

00:55:56.180 I'd love to hear your thoughts, hear your thoughts around people saying they're lucky.

00:56:03.520 Okay.

00:56:04.080 Hold on.

00:56:04.740 I'd love to hear your thoughts, people being lucky versus unlucky.

00:56:09.160 Do you make your own luck in this world or do you think that some people are more unlucky

00:56:14.300 and have bad things happen to them?

00:56:16.640 Look, there's, there's definitely luck.

00:56:18.720 All right.

00:56:19.440 To say that luck doesn't exist is delusional.

00:56:21.880 It exists, right?

00:56:23.160 Because think about this Powerball thing.

00:56:26.380 You know, how many, how many hundreds of thousands or even millions of people bought

00:56:30.120 a ticket and didn't exert any level of skill development.

00:56:33.740 And got tons of money.

00:56:36.460 And we're lucky and they got the right numbers and things just worked out.

00:56:40.480 Yeah.

00:56:40.620 There's luck, no doubt.

00:56:42.940 Now that said, so check that disclaimer off the list.

00:56:46.260 Now, that said, I really adhere to and like the philosophy that luck is when preparation

00:56:52.920 meets opportunity.

00:56:55.460 And so there are those.

00:56:56.900 So on this hunt in Texas that I was at last week, uh, my, the, the buddy I was with, he

00:57:02.640 was probably about a mile or so away from us, me and my boy, we were in a blind and he was

00:57:06.760 in a tree stand about a mile away.

00:57:08.700 And this very, very nice, big, mature white tail came out.

00:57:14.900 He was just checking it out, trying to scope it out, see about this new spot he had.

00:57:18.400 Uh, and he shot this deer, made a great shot, perfect shot on it, dropped him.

00:57:24.140 He ran 30, 40 yards, dropped, died.

00:57:26.340 I mean, great shot.

00:57:28.100 And he came back and we were talking about the hunt and talking about how it all went

00:57:31.440 and everything.

00:57:31.780 And he said, man, I just got lucky.

00:57:34.280 I said, I mean, there may have been an element of luck to it.

00:57:37.420 Yeah.

00:57:38.120 You know, he came out at the right time.

00:57:39.440 You just happened to be at that stand.

00:57:40.640 You could have been in a different stand.

00:57:41.920 This is a new thing for you.

00:57:43.080 Just put that stand up.

00:57:44.180 There may have been some luck.

00:57:45.640 Yeah.

00:57:45.960 But if you weren't prepared, like if you hadn't been practicing shooting your bow for

00:57:51.060 months and months and years and years leading up to it, if you hadn't killed other deer

00:57:54.780 to be able to understand how that impacts physiology and psychology of the way that you shoot and

00:58:01.680 all of that, you wouldn't have capitalized on that opportunity.

00:58:05.080 Yeah.

00:58:05.300 So it wasn't luck.

00:58:06.520 It was the fact that an opportunity presented itself and you were prepared enough to capitalize

00:58:15.520 on the opportunity.

00:58:18.440 So in that context, you, you made that situation and you can do even more to enhance, you can,

00:58:28.040 you can understand the patterns of the movements with a deer.

00:58:30.600 You can talk with people who've been there for 20, 30, 40 years.

00:58:34.080 And he put that tree stand there for a reason.

00:58:35.880 Exactly.

00:58:36.280 That's what I'm saying.

00:58:36.840 So he had, he had, he had some trail cams up and he knew the movements and he knows what

00:58:40.380 time they're out and he knows what they're feeding on.

00:58:42.260 And he knows all of this element about the environment in order to give himself a slight

00:58:47.620 advantage.

00:58:48.180 And it's not significant.

00:58:49.260 It's just a slight advantage that gives him a few more little opportunities that the average

00:58:54.480 hunter, like potentially myself wouldn't have.

00:58:57.280 It's the same thing with the guy who sits in the tree stand for eight hours versus the

00:59:01.440 guy that sits in there for two hours.

00:59:03.340 Is the guy that sits in for eight hours going to be luckier?

00:59:06.380 No, he was just in there for eight hours instead of two.

00:59:09.500 So he had four times, he had four times the opportunity than the guy who only put two

00:59:15.760 hours in.

00:59:17.360 So do I believe people are quote unquote lucky or unlucky?

00:59:22.020 Yes.

00:59:22.980 Largely based on their behaviors.

00:59:27.380 I mean, I know some people who I would say, man, that guy's just unlucky.

00:59:31.140 But at the end of the day, he's, I don't think that's it at all.

00:59:34.340 I think he's just unprepared and therefore when the opportunities present themselves,

00:59:39.980 not only can he not capitalize them, he doesn't even recognize they're there.

00:59:44.360 He can't even see him.

00:59:45.620 He's so blind to it because he hasn't prepared himself in any way.

00:59:50.760 Right?

00:59:51.200 Like think about, let's take health, for example.

00:59:55.000 You can think of a marathon and let's say I call the buddy who's maybe a little out of

01:00:00.080 shape, overweight, whatever.

01:00:00.980 And I say, Hey, you want to go run this marathon?

01:00:02.200 He's like, I can never do that.

01:00:04.280 That's true.

01:00:04.980 You can't because you haven't prepared yourself to go do that.

01:00:08.560 You can go do that.

01:00:11.080 And so I, I, I dismissed this and I get this occasionally.

01:00:14.280 People say, right.

01:00:15.060 Oh, you're so lucky.

01:00:16.320 You're so lucky with order of man and the podcast.

01:00:18.800 Oh, you're so lucky to get Jocko in the pot.

01:00:20.820 You're so lucky of this.

01:00:22.400 Screw you, buddy.

01:00:23.780 It's not luck.

01:00:25.440 Yeah.

01:00:25.980 I mean, there's fortune.

01:00:27.300 Like I've had some fortunate events happen.

01:00:29.100 I'd be crazy not to believe that.

01:00:32.200 But I've also been prepared to capitalize on those fortunate events.

01:00:35.840 Totally.

01:00:36.340 Yeah.

01:00:36.780 Well, and I think what's at the root of when people say that, oh, Ryan, you're lucky or

01:00:41.820 that guy's lucky at the root of them saying that they're, they're downplaying what it took

01:00:49.000 to get that.

01:00:49.580 Yes.

01:00:49.980 Because they're not willing to put in that work.

01:00:51.560 Because they're unwilling to put that work in.

01:00:52.860 Yeah.

01:00:53.400 And that's, that's at the root of, of, of what that, what that is.

01:00:57.020 And, and you mentioned, I mean, you had the interview with Sidney Smith.

01:01:01.560 Yeah.

01:01:02.900 Is, was he unlucky with his condition?

01:01:06.420 Yeah.

01:01:06.440 I wouldn't say unlucky.

01:01:07.540 I would say unfortunate.

01:01:08.820 Unfortunate.

01:01:09.320 It's an unfortunate circumstance that he has to deal with in life.

01:01:13.500 Yeah.

01:01:13.640 But what's great about it is what did he do with his quote unquote, unfortunate situation?

01:01:19.500 Turned it into some opportunities for himself.

01:01:21.300 Totally.

01:01:22.040 So it's really around the mindset that people put with lucky or unlucky.

01:01:27.440 Cause I even think we do that with unlucky, right?

01:01:30.500 People go, oh, they're just really unlucky.

01:01:33.400 AKA I'm not going to do anything about it.

01:01:35.600 And I'm a little bit of a victim with this situation.

01:01:38.160 That's a good point.

01:01:38.980 It's kind of, it's kind of like when you say that, it's kind of like, oh, I throw my hands

01:01:43.080 up in the air.

01:01:43.460 There's nothing I can do.

01:01:44.480 It was unlucky.

01:01:44.940 Down in my hands.

01:01:45.500 Unlucky.

01:01:46.240 Just, just the stars or the gods or this or that.

01:01:48.780 And I, there's no, nothing I can do about it.

01:01:51.120 Yeah.

01:01:51.800 What a, what a very passive to put it mildly way to live.

01:01:55.920 Yeah.

01:01:56.640 And there's opportunity to, to your point with luck or fortunate.

01:02:02.200 And there's also opportunities with being unfortunate.

01:02:04.960 Sure.

01:02:05.860 In fact, a lot of people.

01:02:07.400 Yeah.

01:02:07.760 In fact, a lot of people, the reason they achieve ultimate success is because they have

01:02:14.140 risen above unfortunate events.

01:02:16.640 It's not because they've had a bunch of fortunate events.

01:02:19.360 It's that they've dealt with an unfortunate event and they've turned it into something better.

01:02:25.140 Yeah.

01:02:25.400 And that's how these people achieve success.

01:02:26.900 Because what happens when most people achieve or have unfortunate events in their lives is

01:02:31.720 they allow it to cripple them and they retreat and they cower into the corner versus the successful

01:02:37.500 who are like, okay, this sucks, but what's the play here?

01:02:42.240 Yeah.

01:02:42.500 What's the opportunity?

01:02:44.160 Yeah.

01:02:44.480 And those people who find it are the ones who we would consider quote unquote lucky.

01:02:49.420 Lucky.

01:02:50.000 Yeah.

01:02:50.180 And even taking this back to divorce, right?

01:02:54.500 Anyone that's getting or have, has been divorced or is getting through a divorce, how do you

01:02:59.300 ensure this doesn't happen again?

01:03:00.780 Don't be the same person.

01:03:02.840 Evolve.

01:03:03.420 Right.

01:03:03.960 Grow from the situation.

01:03:06.360 Become a better person than you were before.

01:03:08.120 And you know what people will say to you on that is they'll say, well, and she's got to

01:03:12.680 be a better person too.

01:03:13.800 Well, don't you think if you're a better person, you will A, attract different people

01:03:17.760 and B, be able to identify other people who shouldn't be in your life?

01:03:22.400 Totally.

01:03:22.980 That comes from being a better person.

01:03:24.440 But I think far too often, right?

01:03:26.020 Once again, we're, we're a lot of people's default behavior as victim is, well, I'm going

01:03:31.100 to get a divorce because she's not the right person.

01:03:34.260 Right.

01:03:34.500 And I'm going to somehow find the right person being the same exact guy I am.

01:03:39.280 Yeah.

01:03:39.780 And it's going to just work out.

01:03:41.320 Yeah.

01:03:41.880 Right.

01:03:42.340 Yeah.

01:03:42.580 I see people who are like, oh, my, my last five bosses were assholes.

01:03:46.480 You're the only common denominator in that equation, buddy.

01:03:49.620 Yeah.

01:03:50.080 So yeah, maybe, but what are the odds?

01:03:52.680 Five of your previously, three previous employers are the jerks in the equation.

01:03:57.500 Totally.

01:03:57.980 One, maybe two.

01:03:59.440 Yeah.

01:03:59.620 I'm okay.

01:04:00.480 Five.

01:04:01.600 Nah.

01:04:02.440 It's not looking good.

01:04:03.220 Don't think so.

01:04:04.500 What else?

01:04:06.040 Scott Mason, the role moms and women play in raising men, how wives can help their husbands

01:04:11.040 lead.

01:04:12.160 I think that's an interesting series of questions.

01:04:16.880 I think the way that moms and women play a role in raising men is by allowing their husbands

01:04:21.380 to do what they do best.

01:04:22.560 And to not step over the line.

01:04:27.300 So if you think about what a woman's role is primarily, and people debate all day, there's

01:04:33.620 masculinity and there's femininity.

01:04:35.060 Okay.

01:04:35.240 We, we, we all, both men and women possess varying degrees of these characteristics.

01:04:40.300 There are times where I can be feminine in my behavior.

01:04:43.860 There are times where a woman can be masculine in her behavior.

01:04:47.220 If she's aggressive and being assertive and competitive and exhibiting some, some, some fortitude or physical

01:04:53.220 strength, she is exhibiting masculine behavior.

01:04:55.940 It doesn't mean she's a man.

01:04:56.920 It just means she's exhibiting masculine behavior.

01:04:58.600 If I am being loving, kind, compassionate, empathetic, nurturing, I am exhibiting feminist, or excuse me, feminine

01:05:07.320 characteristics.

01:05:08.800 It doesn't mean I'm a woman.

01:05:10.640 Yeah.

01:05:10.860 It just means I'm exhibiting feminine characteristics at the moment.

01:05:14.220 So the best thing a woman can do in raising men is allow a man to use the masculinity that

01:05:23.160 she possesses in lower quantities or, and, and, and allow him the space to do that.

01:05:30.640 So when, when a little boy, for example, scrapes his knee and mom runs over there and to rush

01:05:34.600 and to hold him, that's her job.

01:05:36.100 She's supposed to nurture and to be empathetic and I love you and it's okay.

01:05:39.620 And the dad's supposed to say, get up, rub some dirt on it and get back and play.

01:05:45.120 Neither are wrong.

01:05:46.520 But if the mom makes the dad wrong, she's wrong.

01:05:50.040 And if the dad makes the mom wrong, he's wrong.

01:05:52.780 Yeah.

01:05:53.160 We, we, we have to, the thing that people get caught up on all the time is this idea

01:06:00.100 of like traditional gender roles.

01:06:03.500 Why do you think there are traditional gender roles?

01:06:06.700 Could it possibly be that there's some biological hardwiring that courses through our veins that

01:06:14.940 make us predisposed to be more masculine or more feminine and therefore exhibit different

01:06:22.580 characteristics and therefore fulfill different roles, just like traditionally.

01:06:26.880 And if you look at across all throughout history and you look at across all cultures, the overwhelming

01:06:32.500 majority, and I know when I say that somebody is going to find the exception, but the overwhelming

01:06:35.860 majority of the time, men are the hunters.

01:06:40.040 Men are the hunters.

01:06:40.960 They're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're fortitude and grit and resiliency and competitiveness and all of that

01:06:48.460 kicks into overdrive and they're more willing to take risk.

01:06:53.800 That makes him a prime candidate to be the hunter of the tribe.

01:06:58.960 Now, can a woman be hunter?

01:07:00.300 Yes.

01:07:01.220 I'm not saying she can't.

01:07:02.960 Yeah.

01:07:03.040 But I'm saying that the reason that we have these quote unquote traditional gender roles

01:07:06.740 is because of our biological makeups.

01:07:08.680 I read an article just the other day that said that when a young boy and a young girl

01:07:16.360 are breastfeeding, that boys receive different nutrients from the breast milk that little girls

01:07:23.960 do.

01:07:25.680 It's almost as if we're biologically different than women.

01:07:30.140 Really?

01:07:30.760 From conception.

01:07:32.080 A breakthrough.

01:07:33.280 Yeah.

01:07:33.900 Yeah.

01:07:34.180 As if we need to have these studies.

01:07:35.920 Yeah.

01:07:36.200 I mean, it's good to understand how this works, but it's not a surprise or it shouldn't be.

01:07:41.200 So how can a woman now, I will say a woman can play a tremendous role in raising humans,

01:07:47.840 right?

01:07:49.280 In raising humans, you can teach a boy to be kind and empathetic and compassionate and, and,

01:07:54.220 and respectful and have integrity and all of these characteristics.

01:07:57.860 And you can support your partner in allowing him to help your young boy harness the masculine

01:08:07.060 virtues that's coursing through his, through his veins.

01:08:09.080 See, masculinity is a series of, uh, it's your biological makeup, right?

01:08:13.180 And the characteristics that, that ultimately are produced through that makeup.

01:08:16.700 Manliness, on the other hand, is how we harness those tools, that masculinity to produce positive

01:08:23.140 and effective outcomes.

01:08:24.380 So a man's job is to help his boy harness his masculinity into manliness.

01:08:31.500 Yeah.

01:08:32.720 So how does a woman help him do that?

01:08:34.540 By supporting his role in doing that.

01:08:36.880 Yeah.

01:08:37.080 By saying, Hey, I appreciate you being tough on little Billy because that's what he needs

01:08:42.340 right here.

01:08:43.540 Yeah.

01:08:44.820 Love it.

01:08:45.700 Does that, you think that covers it?

01:08:47.480 I think it does.

01:08:48.300 Cool.

01:08:48.680 I think it's great.

01:08:49.620 All right.

01:08:49.760 What else?

01:08:50.660 Stefan Horn.

01:08:51.620 You got a good, do you have to go in about five minutes?

01:08:53.480 I'm okay.

01:08:54.160 Are you sure?

01:08:54.780 Yeah.

01:08:55.320 Yeah.

01:08:55.500 This is way better than the other meeting you had.

01:08:57.640 I don't want to go to that.

01:09:00.180 We'll keep that down.

01:09:01.200 A little quiet.

01:09:01.840 Yeah.

01:09:02.240 All right.

01:09:02.440 What else?

01:09:03.820 Stefan Horn.

01:09:04.760 I think you have said this.

01:09:06.180 Uh, I think you have said that you do jujitsu.

01:09:08.320 How do you recommend to pick a place to train for a beginner?

01:09:12.620 I just started jujitsu not too long ago.

01:09:14.860 So the way that I picked is I have a close friend, a mutual friend between Kip and I,

01:09:19.500 Matthew Arrington.

01:09:20.940 He's been practicing Brazilian jujitsu for what?

01:09:25.480 Seven, eight years, something around there.

01:09:27.280 Maybe even more.

01:09:28.140 Yeah.

01:09:28.380 Maybe even more.

01:09:29.320 Um, so he's, he's, he's more advanced than I am.

01:09:32.860 Um, he, he competes and he fights.

01:09:36.960 Uh, so I just trusted his judgment.

01:09:40.380 Yeah.

01:09:40.640 And I went to his gym.

01:09:43.000 You probably have more Kip to say than I do on that.

01:09:45.640 Yeah.

01:09:46.080 Um, first off, I think most schools will, most schools will give you like a free week or at

01:09:52.200 least a couple of free classes.

01:09:54.240 So as you're evaluating different schools, take advantage of that.

01:09:58.440 And what do you evaluate?

01:09:59.620 Let's say you go to a two or three different classes.

01:10:01.580 Yeah.

01:10:02.120 Like what is it that you're actually evaluating?

01:10:04.740 Yeah.

01:10:05.160 So here's, and I'm, it's funny how there's always disclaimers on everything, right?

01:10:10.160 It's sad that that has to be the case.

01:10:12.100 So, so there, there's disclaimers to this.

01:10:15.720 This may not be the case for every school.

01:10:17.800 And so I don't mean it, you know, I don't want to, I don't know, downplaying certain schools.

01:10:22.260 This may not always be the case.

01:10:24.480 However, jujitsu is getting popular, right?

01:10:28.220 It's getting more and more popular, especially as MMA gets more popular.

01:10:31.320 Everyone hears this term jujitsu and this, this guy's a jujitsu fighter or he does jujitsu.

01:10:36.640 And so, um, it is not uncommon for you to pull up Google maps, do jujitsu, and you'll

01:10:44.520 see almost every martial arts school pop up.

01:10:47.440 You'll see like a karate school that throws in jujitsu into their like description of what

01:10:53.640 the school does to get traffic.

01:10:56.000 You'll see judo schools mentioned jujitsu.

01:10:58.680 You'll see Taekwondo.

01:10:59.980 You'll see it all the time.

01:11:01.260 In fact, I get guys in the iron council saying, Hey, I live in this area.

01:11:04.580 What school do you recommend?

01:11:05.700 And I'll, I'll do that same exact search.

01:11:07.620 I'd be like, Oh, half of these aren't even true jujitsu schools.

01:11:11.680 They're really like another martial art.

01:11:13.660 Right.

01:11:13.940 And the guy, you know, maybe has watched a couple of YouTube videos on jujitsu and he

01:11:18.940 teaches it every so often.

01:11:20.080 Right.

01:11:20.520 It's that kind of stuff.

01:11:21.580 So, um, so if you particularly around jujitsu, if you want good jujitsu, good jujitsu, you're

01:11:30.500 primarily looking at an MMA school or you're looking at a school that does Brazilian jujitsu

01:11:36.780 and nothing that is their practice, their discipline.

01:11:39.600 The best schools are pure jujitsu schools or MMA.

01:11:43.540 I would just think just the best, the best thing is to me is always not just in this

01:11:49.860 case, but in just about every context I can think of is to ask a qualified person.

01:11:55.160 Yeah.

01:11:55.740 What you should do.

01:11:56.620 Yeah.

01:11:57.260 And, and they'll say, this is a good school.

01:11:59.440 This is a good, that's not a good school.

01:12:01.260 Stay away from that one.

01:12:02.180 And defer to their expertise.

01:12:04.640 Why?

01:12:05.160 Like, why would we try to reinvent the wheel?

01:12:07.700 Totally.

01:12:08.260 You know, with like, like bow hunting, for example, it's like, I'm going to listen to John

01:12:11.760 Dudley.

01:12:12.260 Why?

01:12:13.040 Because he's the best and I want to be the best.

01:12:17.780 Yeah.

01:12:18.000 So I'm going to listen to what he said and I'm not going to question it.

01:12:20.600 I'll, I'll question it for understanding, but I'm not questioning it for doubt, for

01:12:25.220 doubting.

01:12:25.880 Right.

01:12:26.760 Yeah.

01:12:26.900 Right.

01:12:27.160 Copy.

01:12:27.580 So Stefan, you know, try out schools.

01:12:30.160 And the reason why I say try out is you're not really trying out the instruction because

01:12:33.960 you don't know if what they're teaching is legit or not.

01:12:36.480 Yeah.

01:12:36.640 You're trying out the team and the personalities and how welcoming you are.

01:12:41.380 I mean, it is not uncommon, right?

01:12:44.180 And I, I'm sure you probably feel this way with the guys that you train with.

01:12:47.240 It is, it is not uncommon that the guys that you train jujitsu with become brothers.

01:12:52.640 So you're, you're, you're also selecting the team.

01:12:56.060 Sure.

01:12:56.320 And the guys that you, that you choose to battle with.

01:12:58.940 And so that's what you're trying out more than you are really like the instruction.

01:13:03.640 Yeah.

01:13:04.280 Yeah.

01:13:04.660 Yeah.

01:13:04.900 I agreed.

01:13:05.500 So cool.

01:13:06.420 How's that?

01:13:07.500 Love it.

01:13:08.320 All right.

01:13:08.780 Logan Rowe, what is your take on strengthening sexual intimacy?

01:13:14.220 Yeah.

01:13:14.660 The first thing I would say is get in shape, get in shape.

01:13:20.180 You know, I see these fat slobs and then they ask questions like this.

01:13:24.280 It's like, she's not attracted to you, dude.

01:13:25.520 Oh, but it's love is more than physical attraction.

01:13:28.720 Yeah.

01:13:29.220 But physical attraction is also a big component of that helps for sure.

01:13:33.400 And not only that, but it'll help performance.

01:13:36.500 Yeah.

01:13:36.940 So you're going to be more attractive if you weigh 30, 40, 50 pounds less and you're going

01:13:42.380 to perform better.

01:13:44.660 So that's number one, get in physical shape.

01:13:48.420 Uh, number two is I would say spontaneity is, is huge.

01:13:53.100 Uh, be spontaneous, do things, uh, that, that, that are a surprise, you know, win her over

01:14:00.040 to take her on dates, plan the date out, uh, leave her guessing a little bit, you know,

01:14:05.260 as to, Hey, I got a date plan.

01:14:06.480 I'm not going to tell you what it is.

01:14:07.640 Like I got it all taken care of.

01:14:09.260 I got the sitter lined out.

01:14:10.580 We're going to go.

01:14:11.320 I'm not going to tell you.

01:14:12.120 We're just going to go here.

01:14:12.800 Just be ready.

01:14:13.420 Hey, you know, buy her a dress, make her feel beautiful, make her feel sexy.

01:14:18.880 Um, I mean, there's, there's all kinds of things that you can do, but I think between

01:14:23.860 getting in shape and then adding some spontaneity and then listening for feedback.

01:14:30.280 Yeah.

01:14:31.360 Communication side.

01:14:32.340 Right.

01:14:32.560 And I'm not just saying like, ask her like, what did you think about sex tonight?

01:14:35.960 That's not what I'm saying.

01:14:37.300 What I'm saying is like, think about, use your senses.

01:14:40.860 What is she responding to?

01:14:43.120 You know, like you, you take her out on a date to this nice restaurant.

01:14:46.020 Like, is she looking into your eyes?

01:14:47.660 Is she, is she opening herself up to you?

01:14:50.000 She got her hand on your leg.

01:14:51.860 These are all little cues.

01:14:53.100 It's like, Oh, this, this turns her on.

01:14:55.060 She likes this.

01:14:56.360 Do more of that.

01:14:57.520 And if she, you're doing something and she's, you know, she's not responding or whatever.

01:15:01.000 It's like, okay, well maybe she's not interested in this.

01:15:03.580 But I think if you just listen for those cues using all of your senses, uh, you'll be able

01:15:08.800 to tell what, what excites her and, and double down on those things.

01:15:13.320 Cause if you, if you do that for her, she's going to want to do that for you.

01:15:18.740 Yeah.

01:15:19.760 Uh, and I would say, you know, being married for 14 years now with four kids and a, and

01:15:26.340 a business and everything else that we do, you know, frankly, having sex sometimes is

01:15:32.680 hard because we're busy and we got things and we got demands and then we're tired when

01:15:38.120 the opportunity presents itself.

01:15:39.520 And so you got to schedule some of this stuff in, you know, what, what, what is the time

01:15:42.920 that I have with a, with a date night?

01:15:44.440 And, and, and are we going, are we getting into bed in time?

01:15:47.180 And are we putting like my, my bed is for two things.

01:15:49.880 They both start with S.

01:15:51.200 Yeah.

01:15:52.020 It's not for watching TV or checking my phone.

01:15:54.600 It's for sex and sleep.

01:15:56.540 And so we've created this environment that allows us to have the margin to be able to

01:16:01.940 participate in these things.

01:16:04.220 Right.

01:16:04.800 So yeah, that's what I would say.

01:16:08.200 Cool.

01:16:08.960 Anything you'd add to that?

01:16:10.580 No.

01:16:10.780 I mean, I, I just think if, if you're getting after it at work, you're taking care of things

01:16:16.480 at home, you know, you're on the path, right?

01:16:20.220 And you're being the man that you should be.

01:16:22.260 For sure.

01:16:22.700 This, this also kind of aligns itself and, and everything you said aligns to with what

01:16:27.380 I just said, right?

01:16:28.340 Being a man is increasing your grit and exercise and you're taking care of yourself physically

01:16:34.680 and mentally and emotionally and you know, all those things.

01:16:37.720 So I, I think when we're on our A game, it just kind of lines up.

01:16:44.260 Yeah.

01:16:44.860 I, but I would also add you, do, you do have to be intentional too, right?

01:16:48.240 Yeah.

01:16:48.420 You do.

01:16:48.700 Especially as you get older and you have other demands and she has other demands.

01:16:53.120 It's easy, you know, when you're young and you're just, you're just getting to get,

01:16:57.120 you know, you're just married or whatever.

01:16:58.420 That's easy.

01:16:59.240 Yeah.

01:16:59.480 Cause it's exciting, but more responsibilities come and, right.

01:17:03.020 And, and more distractions, frankly, you know?

01:17:05.720 So, and I, I think that's a big rise of, of, of pornography, frankly.

01:17:10.620 It's easy.

01:17:11.760 Yeah.

01:17:12.060 Super easy.

01:17:12.980 Yeah.

01:17:13.320 Turn it on, watch the thing, jack off, do whatever it is you do.

01:17:16.960 And there was no, nothing you needed to do to, to, to, to win the honor of being able

01:17:23.420 to have sex with your significant other or win the right, I should say.

01:17:27.720 Yeah.

01:17:28.920 Well said.

01:17:30.140 All right.

01:17:30.600 Casey Bone, what are your top three favorite podcasts each?

01:17:37.340 Well, order of man would be number one.

01:17:40.600 And I would just say that if you haven't listened to all 300 plus episodes of order of man, you

01:17:44.940 don't need to worry about the other two.

01:17:46.880 Yeah.

01:17:47.560 So let's, let's just, it's a joke.

01:17:49.940 He's like, yep.

01:17:51.100 Yep.

01:17:51.420 In fact, you should all listen to him twice.

01:17:54.880 That's right.

01:17:55.460 Yeah.

01:17:55.820 I think, uh, the other two, I would say I like hands in daylight.

01:18:00.740 That's my good friends, Pete Roberts and Brian Littlefield over at origin and Jocko podcast

01:18:10.660 is really good.

01:18:12.140 I mean, I got so many podcasts.

01:18:13.500 Gritty podcast is really good.

01:18:16.420 Uh, Joe Rogan podcast is really good.

01:18:19.700 Um, in fact, Brian Littlefield just, just texted me.

01:18:23.260 I was pulling up my podcast things.

01:18:24.420 He just barely tight that he's with hands in daylight and origin.

01:18:28.080 Um, I like the knock on podcast.

01:18:31.480 That's obviously about hunting.

01:18:33.520 I listened to Ben Shapiro.

01:18:35.480 That always is good for a run.

01:18:37.140 Cause it just fires me up and just gets me running.

01:18:41.220 Uh, what else?

01:18:42.180 What else?

01:18:42.480 What else?

01:18:42.960 Those are mostly what I listened to.

01:18:45.040 I would say.

01:18:46.500 That was more than three.

01:18:47.840 I know, but I'm an overachiever at my let.

01:18:52.920 Oh, MFCO.

01:18:53.860 I don't want to forget MFCO, Andy Priscilla, mic drop.

01:18:57.300 That's another good one.

01:18:57.980 Mic drop.

01:18:58.540 It's all kinds of good podcasts.

01:19:02.420 What are you, what would you add to that?

01:19:03.980 My short list.

01:19:04.920 And so it depends, right?

01:19:07.000 Like there's a time and a season for certain podcasts, right?

01:19:10.140 Totally.

01:19:10.300 For me.

01:19:10.660 So like, I love Dan Carlin's hardcore history.

01:19:14.380 Oh yeah.

01:19:14.540 He's good.

01:19:15.240 But there's like a season for that, right?

01:19:16.880 When I'm in the mood and that's a whole lot.

01:19:18.660 Or a long trip or something.

01:19:19.780 Yeah, exactly.

01:19:20.600 So I love hardcore history, but kind of my like weeklies, you know, that I'm listening

01:19:26.100 to you on a regular basis.

01:19:27.020 Of course, order of man, that's a given, uh, impact theory.

01:19:30.860 I like Tom Bilyeu, um, Jocko podcast, MFCEO.

01:19:36.900 And the irony is, I think you've had all these guys on your podcast.

01:19:41.520 So, uh, Jim quick.

01:19:43.620 Yeah.

01:19:44.400 I like his quick, his quick little podcast.

01:19:47.360 Um, I said Jocko already.

01:19:51.220 Oh, and I love Mike Rose the way I heard it.

01:19:55.120 I, I don't know if I, you don't like, I like him.

01:19:57.280 They're entertaining.

01:19:58.180 It's fun.

01:19:59.060 That's, that's what it is.

01:20:00.060 Yeah.

01:20:00.220 It's fun.

01:20:00.680 Usually when I listen to a podcast, I'm like, I want to learn something.

01:20:03.480 Yeah.

01:20:04.100 But I, but I, I like Mike Rowe.

01:20:05.720 I mean, yeah, I'd love to have him on the show.

01:20:07.360 I've, his team has turned me down a couple of times, but.

01:20:10.200 Dick.

01:20:11.360 Unsubscribing right now.

01:20:12.500 Yeah.

01:20:12.900 Yeah.

01:20:13.080 Would you?

01:20:13.960 At Joe Rogan, but it's sometimes I just, it's a little,

01:20:17.340 a little too long and I'm like, okay.

01:20:19.000 I just pick on his show.

01:20:20.220 I pick, I'm like, this one sounds pretty interesting.

01:20:22.180 Like that one I'm not really intrigued with.

01:20:23.740 Cause if I'm going to spend two to three hours listening to a podcast,

01:20:26.200 it's gotta be a topic I'm interested in.

01:20:27.760 Yeah.

01:20:27.960 But Joe, I listened to Joe Rogan a lot, not because I like his show,

01:20:31.280 which I, which I do.

01:20:32.060 And his guests, but because he's a masterful interviewer.

01:20:36.280 Yeah.

01:20:36.720 Almost so much so that you, you, he's not really even interviewing.

01:20:40.100 And from the outside looking in, you're like, oh,

01:20:41.800 he's just having a conversation.

01:20:42.820 You can always tell when somebody is a master because everything looks so easy.

01:20:45.980 Yeah.

01:20:47.240 And it looked like, if you, if you catch yourself saying I could do that

01:20:51.100 and you're not doing it, that's because that individual is a master

01:20:55.740 and you're overlooking how difficult it was to get to that point.

01:20:58.360 Yeah.

01:21:00.360 Let's take a couple more.

01:21:01.400 All right.

01:21:02.640 Alex Schwartz, have you ever, um, have either of you ever made a bigger purchase

01:21:07.820 that you saw made sense and was something you really felt good about,

01:21:12.120 but then you're, but then you weren't sure if your wife would agree.

01:21:15.620 If so, what was the outcome and how did you go about it?

01:21:19.620 Uh, look, my wife and I have like a threshold of, of purchases, a dollar amount.

01:21:24.820 Yeah.

01:21:25.060 It's like, you know, if it's under a couple hundred bucks.

01:21:27.380 Then don't worry about it.

01:21:28.300 I'm not going to necessarily check in with my wife on that.

01:21:30.540 Like there's no reason I trust her.

01:21:33.460 She trusts me.

01:21:34.100 It doesn't mean we're always going to go out and make $200 purchases or, but if it's

01:21:37.640 under about a couple hundred bucks, like there's no reason for her to check in with

01:21:41.360 me.

01:21:41.560 And there's no reason for me to check in with her.

01:21:43.280 If it's over that, I'm always just going to check in with her.

01:21:47.400 Hey, I'm thinking about buying a bow, you know, spend 1500 bucks, 1800 bucks on a bow

01:21:52.060 or whatever with everything else.

01:21:53.680 Like, I'm not going to make that purchase without informing her.

01:21:56.280 Yeah.

01:21:56.800 And if she says, I really don't think we should, cause we got Christmas coming up or you already

01:22:01.000 have a bow or whatever.

01:22:01.860 Like she'll talk some sense into me.

01:22:03.340 Right.

01:22:03.660 Yeah.

01:22:04.180 And I do the same thing.

01:22:05.360 She'll come to me and say, I don't, I don't know.

01:22:09.060 I want to buy a new sewing machine because she really likes to sew and do crafts and

01:22:13.040 things.

01:22:13.260 And I'm like, well, what's wrong with your other?

01:22:14.460 And, you know, and like, we'll talk through it.

01:22:15.760 And if she needs a new sewing machine, then she'll get a new sewing machine.

01:22:19.700 If she doesn't, then, you know, we make that decision together.

01:22:21.700 So she had actually convinced me to buy a new truck.

01:22:25.060 I didn't even want to buy my new truck.

01:22:26.640 She's like, you need a new truck.

01:22:27.800 I'm like, what's wrong with my Tacoma?

01:22:29.500 She's like, it's old and it's small.

01:22:31.560 It is old.

01:22:32.300 It's a 99 Toyota Tacoma.

01:22:34.140 Yeah.

01:22:34.540 I'm like, it runs perfect.

01:22:35.680 And she's like, no, you need to get a truck.

01:22:37.120 So I went out and found a truck, bought a truck.

01:22:39.400 And I was like, I had buyer's remorse on that truck.

01:22:42.060 In fact, I still do.

01:22:43.260 Oh, really?

01:22:43.680 Yeah.

01:22:43.840 Because I'm like, why, why did I put tens of thousands of dollars into buying this truck?

01:22:49.880 I could have done something else with that.

01:22:51.400 And I already had a truck, but I wouldn't have made that decision.

01:22:55.440 She wouldn't have made that decision.

01:22:56.640 So we have a threshold.

01:22:58.300 How do you guys do it?

01:22:59.420 Same.

01:23:00.220 Yeah.

01:23:00.660 Yeah.

01:23:01.040 We don't, she, she's way more frugal than I am.

01:23:04.220 I know that if there's certain things, um, if I buy a lot of something, she'll maybe

01:23:10.140 give me a little grief.

01:23:11.080 Like you buy another one, but it's really from like a joking perspective.

01:23:14.980 Right.

01:23:15.720 But, um, there's no way I'd make a major purchase without saying, Hey honey, I'm, I'm thinking

01:23:21.880 about this.

01:23:22.400 What do you, what's your thoughts?

01:23:23.400 Without her agreement to it.

01:23:24.800 Yeah.

01:23:25.120 And it's not from like, Oh, I have to have her approval or vice versa.

01:23:29.280 I, I think it's out of respect.

01:23:31.600 It is, but it's also, it is, she might be aware of something else.

01:23:34.740 And she says, Oh, remember we have this and maybe we should, you know, pay that off first

01:23:39.440 or, you know, we just had a baby.

01:23:40.700 Right.

01:23:41.020 So we, we're just waiting for those wonderful medical bills to come, come in the mail.

01:23:45.320 And so she might remind me of that and go, uh, let's hold off.

01:23:48.560 Remember we have those medical bills that we need to do first.

01:23:51.620 Yeah.

01:23:52.300 Yeah.

01:23:52.580 So I don't think that as long as that communication is there and there's some mutual respect, I

01:23:57.020 don't think that one should be too big of an issue.

01:23:59.420 I think we have it easy or we've gotten our relationships to a perspective where it's

01:24:05.740 not an issue, but I've, I've heard of some crazy stories.

01:24:09.200 Yeah.

01:24:09.340 But that comes down to a lack of mutual respect and communication.

01:24:13.600 Yeah.

01:24:14.320 Right.

01:24:14.620 Like if a guy goes out, like if I wanted to go out and buy a new gun and I wasn't going

01:24:18.740 to tell my wife about that and I was going to spend a thousand, $1,500, $2,000 on a

01:24:22.620 new gun, that's a complete lack of respect for her.

01:24:27.300 Yeah.

01:24:27.400 Now here's the interesting thing.

01:24:28.500 She doesn't earn any income.

01:24:31.300 So a lot of guys are like, it's my money.

01:24:32.900 No, it's not.

01:24:33.920 Cause you signed on the proverbial dotted line that says we will share.

01:24:37.240 Yeah.

01:24:37.760 We are a team.

01:24:39.100 Cause if I did that, then what could she say about dinner?

01:24:44.060 Sell the house?

01:24:44.820 Yeah.

01:24:45.160 No, about dinner.

01:24:45.780 I come home, I'm like, where's dinner?

01:24:47.000 And she's like, oh, well, like I make dinner.

01:24:50.260 It's my dinner.

01:24:51.180 It's my dinner.

01:24:51.720 Yeah.

01:24:52.200 Right.

01:24:52.480 So it's like, you don't, I don't play that game.

01:24:54.540 Yeah.

01:24:55.180 Cause we're a team.

01:24:56.240 You know, I bring certain set of resources into the environment.

01:24:59.780 She brings another set of resources in the environment.

01:25:02.020 I share what I bring.

01:25:03.520 She shares what she brings and we're good.

01:25:07.680 Let's do one more.

01:25:09.920 Right.

01:25:11.000 Jason Noble, uh, Nobles being a man raised by women.

01:25:15.080 Uh, his dad died when he was 12.

01:25:17.320 Sorry to hear that, Jason.

01:25:18.860 Uh, what are some ideas to get, uh, get my son involved into things so he doesn't end up with my lack of knowledge in manly skills?

01:25:27.500 Well, number one, yeah, certainly.

01:25:30.020 Yes.

01:25:30.340 Sorry about that.

01:25:31.140 That is horrific.

01:25:32.320 I can't even imagine what that would be like.

01:25:34.880 So I'm sorry for that loss when you're younger.

01:25:36.840 Um, well, number one, you got to be involved, right?

01:25:40.820 Like you are, you are the most important person in his life.

01:25:44.980 And there's been studies and documentation that have shown that the same sex parent is this most important person in a, in a young child's life.

01:25:52.680 So what are some things to do?

01:25:55.160 Do manly things.

01:25:56.240 You're talking about manly skills.

01:25:57.300 Teach him how to change a car or a tire, teach him basic mechanics, teach him basic plumbing and electrical, teach him how to operate out in the shop, uh, take him camping, teach him how to fire a rifle, go play sports and catch with him and teach him how to throw a baseball and how to swing a bat.

01:26:12.180 And, uh, watch football together and talk about the dynamics and how plays work and do these manly things, you know, have him set the table or have him, you know, maybe do like a date night at home and teach him how you would take.

01:26:26.980 Take a, take your wife on a date so he can learn those things, like do those things so that he learns what those are.

01:26:33.080 In addition to that, get him involved with other noble, righteous, good, honorable men outside of what you bring so that he can learn from other men in different contexts.

01:26:44.040 Two that I can think of right off the bat, uh, number one is, uh, sports, get him involved in competitive sports.

01:26:50.920 A coach is going to bring something different to the table than you potentially could.

01:26:54.160 I remember when my son, my oldest son had his first tackle football game.

01:26:58.520 He's been playing football for five years.

01:26:59.880 This was his first tackle season.

01:27:02.920 And, uh, one of the kids on his team had made a bad play.

01:27:08.320 And one of the coaches got up like right in his face and he was like, he scored a touchdown because you failed to hold that block.

01:27:18.680 Like the reason he scored is your fault.

01:27:22.040 Yeah.

01:27:22.300 And my wife's like, she like almost had a heart attack.

01:27:25.800 He's like, he's being so mean.

01:27:27.240 I'm like, no, he's telling the truth.

01:27:28.580 Like that's what happened.

01:27:30.600 And he's like, but why is he doing mean?

01:27:32.220 I'm like, who else is going to get in his face?

01:27:35.180 Who else in society is going to get in his face and teach him about life the way it needs to be taught?

01:27:40.440 And then about five minutes later, after he got his butt chewing, the coach came over and he put his arm around him and he's like, you understand what happened?

01:27:47.660 Yeah.

01:27:48.120 Okay.

01:27:48.520 We can hear this because we're right there.

01:27:50.100 And he's like, what are you going to do different next time?

01:27:52.760 And he taught him and he coached him and he helped him work through this.

01:27:55.740 So coaching is, or excuse me, competitive sports, really, really important.

01:27:59.380 And people say, well, you can learn other things outside of competitive sports.

01:28:02.540 Yes, you can.

01:28:04.040 You can be in the chess club or the math club or the this or the that or whatever.

01:28:08.220 There's just something to be said for competitive sports.

01:28:10.420 And I would even argue team sports.

01:28:12.580 Well, there's a level of grit that comes from that.

01:28:14.120 Of course.

01:28:14.520 Sports that you would never get through just other needs of competition.

01:28:17.940 Of course.

01:28:18.800 It's, you're playing at a higher stake, right?

01:28:22.360 Because if you're having a video game competition, like the stakes are relatively low.

01:28:26.720 I'm not saying that you can't do that.

01:28:28.340 I'm just saying the stakes are relatively low versus being on the football field.

01:28:32.220 You don't hold your block.

01:28:33.740 Somebody is going to smash you in the teeth or your quarterback in the teeth.

01:28:37.300 Yeah.

01:28:37.560 So the stakes are higher.

01:28:39.200 I think that's important.

01:28:41.820 Another program, which has kind of seemed to have lost its way over the past, I would

01:28:46.160 say, handful of years is the Boy Scouts.

01:28:47.920 You know, when I grew up, I was in the Boy Scouts and I don't like the idea of boys and

01:28:53.700 girls being together.

01:28:56.060 And they're not.

01:28:56.860 I know they're in separate troops and things like that.

01:28:58.620 But the more you combine women into an organization that's designed for men, the more it waters

01:29:02.580 it down and changes the dynamic between how the boys interact.

01:29:06.760 You know, I've seen eight-year-old boys who are out there burning bugs and chopping down

01:29:11.580 trees and farting around each other and setting up tents.

01:29:14.800 And then the girl comes in and all that goes out the window.

01:29:17.600 Eight-year-old boys.

01:29:18.640 And they start posturing and they start battling each other because they want to impress this

01:29:23.740 little, this cute little girl.

01:29:25.020 So, there's a time and a place for that.

01:29:28.600 There's also a time and a place for men to be with men and boys to be with boys.

01:29:32.020 That's why competitive sports.

01:29:33.240 And if you can find, there's another alternative, Trail Life.

01:29:38.080 Trail Life USA, I believe, or just Trail Life.

01:29:40.520 That's an alternative to Boy Scouts that actually is for boys exclusively.

01:29:45.400 Oh, really?

01:29:45.760 Yeah.

01:29:46.080 I didn't know this.

01:29:47.300 Yeah.

01:29:48.440 But that's what I would do.

01:29:49.880 Yourself, you're the first line of defense.

01:29:51.260 Then you get into competitive sports.

01:29:52.800 Then you get into some sort of boys organization.

01:29:55.780 Inside of our church, Kip, we have young men's programs, right?

01:29:59.140 So, every week they are involved with other young men and two or three leaders.

01:30:03.760 I do that every Tuesday for boys between the ages of 14 to 16.

01:30:09.080 There's lots of opportunities if you're looking for it.

01:30:10.980 And I think the key thing, Jason, just in case you're tempted, because there's a little

01:30:17.320 bit of that in your question, right?

01:30:19.840 Is how do I get my son involved so he doesn't end up with my lack of knowledge in manly skills?

01:30:26.020 Well, change your manly skills.

01:30:27.860 Learn.

01:30:28.260 You learn them.

01:30:29.080 Right.

01:30:29.520 Yeah.

01:30:29.960 So, you learn them and learn them with them.

01:30:32.760 Yeah.

01:30:32.980 You know, if there's a manly skill that you want to inherit, that you want your son to learn,

01:30:38.140 do it with him.

01:30:39.040 Learn it.

01:30:39.380 Because also what you're teaching him is another manly skill of when you don't know something,

01:30:44.100 you learn it.

01:30:44.620 Right.

01:30:45.040 And teach it.

01:30:45.800 And have some humility, right?

01:30:47.780 So, you know, it's a great opportunity for you to develop those manly skills for yourself

01:30:54.100 and bring him along.

01:30:55.160 Yeah.

01:30:55.780 Hunting is a great example of that in my life.

01:30:58.800 So, I started hunting.

01:30:59.560 I went on my first hunt this last week, last year, was the year anniversary for my first

01:31:05.680 hunt.

01:31:06.240 Yeah.

01:31:06.400 And I went out to Texas and I shot two white tail out there and I've been on five to seven

01:31:11.780 hunts since or so.

01:31:13.220 So, I'm new.

01:31:14.360 I didn't grow up hunting.

01:31:15.720 You know, I grew up in Southern California and then I moved to Southern Utah.

01:31:18.780 I remember the first deer season.

01:31:21.540 Everybody in Utah has basketball hoops.

01:31:23.640 You know that, right?

01:31:24.420 Yeah.

01:31:24.620 Right.

01:31:24.800 Everybody has.

01:31:25.640 And they have basketball hoops and or a piano.

01:31:28.200 Like, that's the joke, right?

01:31:29.080 They, there's like, there's certain things that if you live in Utah, you have.

01:31:32.540 And a basketball hoop is one of them.

01:31:34.180 Yeah.

01:31:34.380 Small Southern Utah town, mountain town, a lot of cowboys.

01:31:37.300 I love it.

01:31:37.980 Love the town.

01:31:38.940 First hunting season, drive around, deer, deer, deer, deer, hanging dead, gutted from

01:31:45.040 basketball hoops.

01:31:46.000 And my mom was horrified.

01:31:47.620 Like, where did we move?

01:31:49.280 You know, she was horrified about it.

01:31:51.340 But that's, that was the way of life.

01:31:53.180 And, and we had fall break.

01:31:56.060 I'm using quotation marks, fall break, which happened to coincide with the hunting season.

01:32:01.960 Hunting season.

01:32:02.600 Yeah.

01:32:02.900 Opening week of the hunting season.

01:32:04.260 I didn't even know it was called fall break as a kid.

01:32:06.000 I thought it was hunting break.

01:32:07.540 No, it's, it is technically it's fall break, but it's not fall break.

01:32:12.280 It's opening week of hunting season.

01:32:14.120 That's what we had in school when I grew up.

01:32:15.840 But I never, I never went on a hunt up until last year and, and just last week.

01:32:22.280 So a year from the time I went on my first hunt, I took my son with me to Texas, back

01:32:27.240 to Texas, same place, same, same area and took him on a hunt.

01:32:32.000 That was something that I really enjoy.

01:32:34.060 I didn't know anything about a year ago because I'm getting immersed and of course have a

01:32:37.880 lot, a lot to learn, a lifetime of knowledge to learn.

01:32:40.780 But I, but I'm getting him involved in those things because now I learn it and I develop

01:32:44.620 and grow to your point and now I can include him in the process.

01:32:47.600 Yeah.

01:32:48.120 It's perfect.

01:32:49.160 Right on, man.

01:32:49.620 Should we call it a day?

01:32:50.300 We went a little longer than we normally do.

01:32:51.740 We're at like a hour 30.

01:32:52.980 It looks like.

01:32:53.280 Do you want to answer Chad Hall's quick question?

01:32:55.360 I think that's a quick one.

01:32:56.380 Sure.

01:32:56.880 So will the sovereignty audio, uh, audio book be published on Google play store?

01:33:01.000 I don't know.

01:33:02.060 Oh, okay.

01:33:04.260 I don't, I guess I could look into that.

01:33:06.340 I haven't, I honestly, I haven't even looked into it.

01:33:09.960 Okay.

01:33:11.160 I don't, I guess maybe I should.

01:33:12.740 Is it just on Amazon?

01:33:14.560 Amazon.

01:33:15.260 Okay.

01:33:16.440 I don't understand why you'd need it anywhere else really.

01:33:19.400 Yeah.

01:33:20.000 I mean, maybe people don't buy it, buy it on Amazon or something.

01:33:22.980 I don't know.

01:33:23.500 I really don't.

01:33:24.040 I'm not like downplaying the question.

01:33:25.540 I'm just like, yeah, just buy the audible on Amazon and then you can listen on to, to

01:33:30.160 Kindle or whatever.

01:33:32.260 Or Chad, give Ryan the really good reason of why it's worth putting it on Google play.

01:33:38.220 Out of curiosity.

01:33:38.700 Like I would really want to know that.

01:33:40.260 Yeah.

01:33:40.460 Cause maybe there is one.

01:33:41.560 There might be.

01:33:42.020 Yeah.

01:33:42.160 And I just don't know what it is.

01:33:43.560 Yeah.

01:33:43.960 Good point.

01:33:44.520 Yeah.

01:33:45.140 Yeah.

01:33:45.640 Cool.

01:33:47.200 Right on, man.

01:33:48.620 I'm looking at some of these next questions.

01:33:50.280 Oh my gosh.

01:33:51.320 LT reminds me of Lieutenant.

01:33:53.100 No.

01:33:53.400 Sounds cooler than Laugh Track.

01:33:54.700 Yeah.

01:33:55.020 These guys started, Bubba started a whole conversation around my nickname.

01:34:01.260 Saurian.

01:34:02.420 Oh, they're trying to like, like combine our names.

01:34:05.820 Kipler.

01:34:07.100 Rip.

01:34:08.240 What did they say?

01:34:09.160 Ripe.

01:34:10.320 Rip.

01:34:11.140 Rip.

01:34:11.520 Ripe.

01:34:11.900 Kipler.

01:34:13.240 I don't know.

01:34:13.940 This year's power couple.

01:34:15.100 Oh my goodness.

01:34:16.400 Soaring subjects with Ryan.

01:34:17.820 We can do better than that.

01:34:21.440 All right.

01:34:21.780 Let's call it a day.

01:34:22.440 Well, guys, appreciate you listening in.

01:34:25.280 Glad you're on this journey.

01:34:27.680 On Friday, I've got a, got a kind of an interesting show for you.

01:34:31.680 So make sure you tune into that.

01:34:33.600 I'm going to talk about the, of course, the cliche, which is the gratitude and give you a

01:34:37.640 little bit of a preview on that, which is that I am thankful for you.

01:34:41.000 And I know Kip, you are as well.

01:34:42.980 Yeah.

01:34:43.260 Um, we could, we couldn't do the show without you guys, you know, and it's, it's pretty powerful.

01:34:47.480 It's pretty powerful when we see this band of men growing and expanding exponentially

01:34:51.880 and spanning the entire planet and reaching little corners of the world and having discussions

01:34:55.860 and man, it's just so cool to see.

01:34:57.920 So what I was going to do on Friday is talk a little bit more about that in depth.

01:35:01.160 Uh, and then also try to give you a preview of what I would like to see this become and

01:35:07.800 what this turn into and some of the things that we stand for.

01:35:11.060 Uh, because I don't know that I've done a great job in the past of really articulating

01:35:17.980 who we are as, as the order, if you will.

01:35:21.920 Yeah.

01:35:22.420 And what we stand for and the kind of men that we are and what we behave, how we behave and

01:35:28.320 the activities we were involved in.

01:35:30.060 And, uh, I've, I've thought a lot about this.

01:35:32.440 I'm reading a book by Seth Godin.

01:35:34.440 He talks a lot about this and I realized I'll probably turn a lot of people off, but I also

01:35:39.000 realize because they, they won't, they won't see it the same way.

01:35:42.300 Yeah.

01:35:42.400 They may not agree.

01:35:43.200 Right.

01:35:43.480 But I also realized that if we want to continue to grow this, uh, and, and have even more

01:35:49.420 significance and impact, then we've got to solidify a little bit more about who we are

01:35:53.420 and, and how we show up.

01:35:55.420 And yeah, I love how that relates to the question by Hunter Locke earlier about your values,

01:36:03.280 your company's mission and purpose and, and, and it sounds very much like that.

01:36:09.140 You're saying, Hey, we, we need to maybe be a little bit more articulate and clear in

01:36:14.060 regards to what is our purpose?

01:36:15.520 What is our values?

01:36:16.400 How, what's our, maybe our code of conduct per se, uh, within this order.

01:36:21.480 Yeah.

01:36:21.700 That's spot on.

01:36:22.220 And there's going to be a lot of guys who can be like, well, that's not true.

01:36:24.440 And you know what?

01:36:25.100 But I'm kind of to the point now to say, you know, you're, you're that, that's, that's

01:36:30.560 my worldview.

01:36:32.920 Yeah.

01:36:33.360 I'm not so arrogant enough to say that that is accurate.

01:36:35.940 I'm, but I am bold enough to say that is my worldview.

01:36:40.560 Yeah.

01:36:41.140 And if you agree with that, then I think you're going to be pleased.

01:36:45.340 And I think you're going to be, want, want to be a greater part of this mission and what

01:36:48.940 we're doing here.

01:36:49.460 And if you don't agree, uh, you might be less inclined to listen.

01:36:54.420 You might tune out all together, uh, or you might just go out and start your own thing.

01:37:00.740 And all of those are fine.

01:37:01.980 I'm okay with that.

01:37:02.920 I'm okay with that.

01:37:04.060 Cause we really need to plant the flag of order of man and what we stand for and what

01:37:07.560 we're all about.

01:37:08.360 Yeah.

01:37:08.820 And there's lots of ways that we can plant that flag.

01:37:11.280 Obviously I, I'm at now really interested in what the podcast is going to be on Friday.

01:37:16.340 Um, me too.

01:37:17.040 I haven't thought about it.

01:37:17.680 I was going to say, uh, maybe I'm assuming you already have an outline, but, uh, you know,

01:37:24.420 it's, it goes back to the conversation earlier about our mission, our purpose, what, what

01:37:31.320 the order of man stands for, what the iron cancel stands for.

01:37:35.800 And, um, and I don't say this slightly, like I, I, I am, I don't know the term I would use

01:37:42.640 like bought in or, uh, committed or on the path or whatever it is.

01:37:48.120 But, um, this is a legit thing.

01:37:51.440 I mean, we talked about this earlier.

01:37:52.720 It is like how many problems are, could potentially be resolved by the, by this conversation, by

01:38:01.140 this conversation, causing men to level up and get on the path and increase their impact,

01:38:08.340 whether it be in their families, with their children, with their spouses, in their communities,

01:38:12.360 uh, through their jobs in a number of different ways.

01:38:15.700 Yeah.

01:38:16.520 And, um, you know, if you guys are listening to this, uh, the call to action is one, join

01:38:24.180 the Facebook group, stand for other men, not just show up to, to be a troll and listen,

01:38:31.600 contribute.

01:38:32.220 Guys are asking questions on there on a regular basis.

01:38:35.100 You know, provide your insight, provide your experience.

01:38:38.020 Share yourself.

01:38:38.700 Can I add one thing on that?

01:38:39.320 Yeah.

01:38:39.900 Thing.

01:38:40.180 I said, thang, not thang, a thing, uh, somebody I was talking with yesterday, Trevor Thompson.

01:38:47.720 He's a, uh, uh, former Navy SEAL and he's, he's crazy.

01:38:51.620 He's a base, base jumper and wingsuit flyer.

01:38:55.620 It's crazy.

01:38:56.900 Anyways, he was talking about being an asset and the liability.

01:39:00.740 I was like, that's really interesting because an asset, what does an asset do?

01:39:04.240 An asset provides more than it consumes, right?

01:39:06.820 Yeah.

01:39:07.140 And, and vice versa for liability.

01:39:08.940 And so if you're going to join the Facebook group or the iron council or Patreon or follow

01:39:14.000 on Instagram or Twitter, whatever, whatever, whatever you're going to do here or listen

01:39:17.740 to this podcast, then I would encourage you just like every other facet of life to be

01:39:21.920 an asset to what we're doing here.

01:39:23.360 How do you be an asset to this podcast?

01:39:25.660 You share it.

01:39:26.820 You leave a rating and review.

01:39:28.360 How do you become an asset to the Facebook group?

01:39:30.280 You don't, you don't get in there and bitch and moan about all the things that are going

01:39:32.960 wrong in your life and how, what was me and everything's miserable.

01:39:35.060 You share and you give insight to other guys and you share your wins and your victories

01:39:38.200 and talk about the things that are working well.

01:39:39.760 And, and, and, and, and even if you have negative experiences, the things that you actually

01:39:43.200 learn from, from these experiences, you know, how do you share on Instagram or how do you

01:39:47.380 become an asset on Instagram?

01:39:48.520 You comment, Hey man, I agree with you here.

01:39:50.840 Here's why.

01:39:51.220 Or I disagree.

01:39:51.920 And here's why.

01:39:52.380 Here's my take.

01:39:53.000 And let's have a discussion about this and, and share it with tag your friends and all

01:39:56.420 of that.

01:39:56.700 Like every facet of life, you should be in, you should be an asset, not a liability.

01:40:02.280 And if you're coming to this podcast, you're coming to the Facebook page or coming to this

01:40:05.980 or in your family or in your community or in your business and you're taking and sucking

01:40:09.540 away more value than you're adding, you would place yourself in the liability category.

01:40:15.300 Yeah.

01:40:15.840 Not the asset category.

01:40:17.380 Yeah.

01:40:17.920 So I know that's pretty bold of me to say for guys that are listening, but don't

01:40:21.200 be here and be a consumer.

01:40:23.340 Come here and be a producer.

01:40:25.260 You're getting value from what Kip and I are sharing.

01:40:28.220 You're getting value from what the 50,000 men in the Facebook group are doing.

01:40:31.360 You're getting value from being a member of the iron council, produce, share, be an asset.

01:40:37.220 It's not only going to enhance the other people's lives.

01:40:39.160 It's going to enhance your life because you're going to learn the skillset of becoming an asset.

01:40:42.400 Yeah.

01:40:42.820 And that's valuable.

01:40:43.380 And if you don't mind me adding as a call to action to the guys in the iron council, you're

01:40:48.780 on a battle team to provide value to your team.

01:40:52.580 Right.

01:40:52.860 Not suck away from.

01:40:54.200 If you still think, because some guys may think this, if you still think that you're on a team

01:40:59.880 to become a better man and that's your primary focus, you've lost the point.

01:41:05.640 You've lost the point.

01:41:07.460 Provide, protect, and preside.

01:41:09.520 Which one of those has to do with you?

01:41:13.260 Great point.

01:41:14.700 Right?

01:41:14.880 All three have to do with serving others.

01:41:17.640 And in the iron council, if you're still on this boat of like, oh, well, I'm in the

01:41:21.220 iron council so I can become a better man.

01:41:23.260 Bullshit.

01:41:24.760 You're in the iron council.

01:41:26.000 Why?

01:41:26.600 So you can better other men.

01:41:28.400 And through that process, by standing for other men, you become better as well.

01:41:34.400 Right?

01:41:34.800 And even your focus of becoming a better man is about what?

01:41:39.520 Serving your family better.

01:41:41.260 Serving your community better.

01:41:43.100 Right?

01:41:43.240 The focus of this movement of the order is far greater than our individual improvement.

01:41:52.660 The impact is huge.

01:41:54.900 So join us, whether it be the Order of Man group on Facebook, the iron council, or join

01:42:02.120 us on the patron at patreon.com forward slash order of man or slash order of man.

01:42:07.580 Well played.

01:42:08.620 Well played.

01:42:09.700 And Beanie's coming.

01:42:11.180 Coming.

01:42:11.620 A couple of weeks or a couple of days, excuse me.

01:42:13.240 And we have the Order of Man store.

01:42:16.280 Black Friday as the code.

01:42:18.260 Yeah.

01:42:18.800 So we'll get that set up, but it's store.orderman.com and then Black Friday is the discount code.

01:42:25.700 Cool.

01:42:26.900 I mean, that's a wrap.

01:42:28.540 All right, guys.

01:42:29.120 Appreciate you.

01:42:29.800 We'll see you on Friday.

01:42:30.700 Take action.

01:42:31.300 Become the man you are meant to be.

01:42:32.820 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:42:35.380 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

01:42:39.960 we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

01:42:43.120 You're right.

01:42:43.640 You're right.

01:42:44.260 You're right.

01:42:44.300 You're the man you are meant to be,

01:42:44.720 you're right.

01:42:44.880 You're right.

01:42:45.340 You're right.

01:42:45.920 How we're meant to be.

01:42:46.480 You're right.

01:42:47.020 You're right.

01:42:48.100 You're right.

01:42:48.260 You're right.

Order of Man - November 21, 2018

The Power of Consistency, How to Create Your Own "Luck," and How to Improve Intimacy ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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