Order of Man - The Power of Conviction, Handling Conflict, and Struggling with Communication

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly charge

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.100 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.640 you can call yourself a man. Drew, Labor Day weekend or Labor Day week short week coming up.

00:00:29.680 Kip, how are you doing, man? I'm good, brother. How are you, Kip?

00:00:32.860 Good. We're recording this on a Monday. Not that you guys need to know that, but

00:00:37.140 I'm out here at the office in the podcast studio, what I call it, and I'm the only one here and it

00:00:43.800 feels kind of weird. Kind of nice, actually. Nice and quiet. I'm actually at my office, too. I'm in

00:00:48.780 the basement in one of the conference rooms, and yes, it is kind of eerie and quiet, but it's all

00:00:53.220 good. It's all good. I love it, man. Well, thanks for stepping in and doing the Ask Me Anything.

00:00:58.860 We'll be fielding some questions today from the Iron Council. We have a handful of Iron Council

00:01:05.760 members that submitted some questions, and then the rest of the questions we'll be fielding from

00:01:10.120 our Facebook group. To join us on Facebook, go to facebook.com slash group slash order of man.

00:01:16.560 Roughly in about 10 days, the Iron Council will be open for enrollment, so stay tuned. If that's

00:01:23.800 something that you've been on the fence, decide so you can take action in roughly about 10 days.

00:01:28.900 And we'll see you on the inside of the Iron Council. Drew is actually one of our battle

00:01:34.100 team leaders in the Iron Council. We talked about this last time we were on the podcast together,

00:01:39.800 but Drew was my battle team leader when I joined the Iron Council. I don't know how long ago that

00:01:46.960 was. Five, maybe six years ago. A while ago.

00:01:49.500 At least. Yeah. Battle team Alpha. Kip was a member of Alpha back in the day.

00:01:55.360 Yeah. OG. Old times, man. It is, not to derail too much, but man, it has grown. Like, I remember we

00:02:07.360 had this spreadsheet and it had like a hundred names on it, and that's kind of how we managed

00:02:11.700 membership. I don't know. It's just, it's crazy how much things have grown, how many members we

00:02:18.880 have in the Iron Council now. I mean, it's just, it's a little, it's a little sad because I can't

00:02:25.520 just, I mean, you don't know everybody anymore. It's impossible. It's really hard.

00:02:29.380 I think Chris, I think Chris Gatchko posted in one of our channels in the Foundry the other day,

00:02:36.380 a picture of a spreadsheet of the original handful of teams. And it's funny to think about because

00:02:42.320 when I joined the Iron Council, I was, I was the 13th guy to join the Iron Council. So, I mean,

00:02:48.200 six, seven years ago now. And seeing that spreadsheet was like, oh my gosh, we have all,

00:02:52.880 we have like five teams and there's like 10 guys per team or something like that.

00:02:56.100 And prior to even then, we didn't even have battle teams. And now you look at,

00:03:00.140 you know, I don't even know a thousand plus members and it's, it's pretty wild to see.

00:03:05.480 It's hard to, to, to try and, you know, communicate with everybody, but it's nice to see all these guys

00:03:10.140 coming in and, and, and more importantly, Kip, what they're doing with their own lives and changing

00:03:14.300 is just really incredible. Watching the stories on the feed and seeing these guys post is, it's amazing.

00:03:19.200 Well, and it's so neat to think back, you know, I left alpha. I took over battle team echo from Lex,

00:03:28.800 which was big shoes to fill. I felt very intimidated by doing that back in the day.

00:03:34.380 And since then, it's cool to see how many guys that were on my team that are now mentors and battle

00:03:42.480 team leaders and how much of a voice they have in serving other men of the Iron Council.

00:03:48.560 And it's just, I don't know, to your point, it's, it's inspiring. It reminds me of the importance

00:03:54.520 of what we're doing to see kind of the success of these guys and, and what they've, what they've

00:04:01.260 accomplished. One of the questions, when we have a new potential battle team leader, you know, I go

00:04:07.060 through the screening process and I'll have a call. And usually one of the questions I ask is,

00:04:12.700 why have you gotten out of the Iron Council? I think one of the, a really important leadership

00:04:18.800 trait, it's not really a trait, but a leadership quality is modeling performance, right? If we're

00:04:25.260 going to lead from the front, we got, we have to be the model of what that looks like. And so I try to

00:04:30.520 ask those questions of these potential battle team leaders are like, what has the Iron Council done

00:04:35.720 for you, right? What success have you had? And it just wows me in regards to how much these guys

00:04:42.900 have come in, got some structure, banded with their brothers, got that form of accountability and is

00:04:49.700 just killing it in multiple areas of their lives. So it's, it's good. It's a testament, Drew, for you

00:04:56.720 being in here in the IC for so long and serving other guys. And I don't know, it's, well, it's a

00:05:03.480 testament of what, of the need of, of what Ryan has created. So it's just an honor to, to be on this

00:05:09.380 path with him and with all you guys. A hundred percent. All right, let's, let's hop into this.

00:05:15.420 So our first question, like I said, we're going to field questions from the Iron Council to learn

00:05:20.420 more about the IC, or if you want to sign up for those newsletters, go to orderofman.com slash Iron

00:05:24.960 Council. Our first question, Reese Carter, one of our battle team leaders are actually one of our

00:05:29.780 battle team mentors. If your vision statement for yourself is a 10 on a scale of one to 10. So

00:05:36.440 an amazing vision statement, what is your current state at the time of coming into the Iron Council?

00:05:43.140 Can you be specific to your individual quadrants, any one greater than the other? Maybe you were fit,

00:05:49.120 but broke and divorced in balances mainly to speak of is kind of what he's looking for. And then

00:05:54.900 ultimately what is your current state now? Great question, Reese. Great. Always Reese always

00:06:01.360 brings good questions in. Uh, look, I think when you join the Iron Council, you are coming because

00:06:06.920 you need, you have realized that you need to get some order and you need to get your life as a man

00:06:14.760 in proper shape. Um, you may not have a vision statement at all. You may not even know what a vision

00:06:20.620 statement is. You may have some ideas and some goals and things of that nature, but you don't know

00:06:25.040 how to get there. And that's one of the reasons you come into the Iron Council. Um, if you have a

00:06:30.020 perfect vision statement now, I would venture to say that almost everybody that comes and joins us

00:06:35.840 inside the Iron Council has no order to their vision whatsoever. They're trying to just figure it

00:06:42.180 out. Um, you need to do an inventory to get to his point about, you know, which quadrant of,

00:06:48.100 of the battle plan makes the most sense or, or is most important. Um, you've got to do an inventory

00:06:53.960 with where you're at in life. If you are really fit, but you're broke, you probably need to put

00:06:59.020 some effort and energy into your business, your job and what you have going on. Maybe spending 10

00:07:04.280 hours a day in the gym, six days a week, isn't the best thing to be doing. It sounds like you have a

00:07:09.180 pretty good hold on your fitness. So why don't you focus on your financial fitness now? Um, you really

00:07:14.320 just have to get vulnerable with yourself and you need to write it all down, make that map and

00:07:20.280 understand where is, where you're at and where you need to go. And then start focusing on those

00:07:25.540 simple things. Just one thing. It doesn't need to be, you can't focus on all of it. You know,

00:07:31.080 James Clear has a great, uh, a great concept around 1% better every day. If you're not familiar

00:07:37.000 with it, just look it up, punch it into Google 1% better every day. James Clear paints a very good

00:07:41.360 picture of what it looks like and how you achieve, uh, and how you get on track to be

00:07:46.640 much better than you were yesterday. So, uh, I think you just need to do an inventory to really

00:07:52.240 understand and grasp what it is you're looking at. Drew, for you, what would, what, what was your,

00:07:59.300 maybe your one quadrant coming into the IC once you define that, do you even remember of kind of like,

00:08:04.840 I was kind of second in this area. And what does that look like today?

00:08:08.960 You know, I, when I came to the iron council, um, I was lost in so many ways. I was not performing

00:08:21.080 at all. Um, I, I think I was really good at my business and I did a really good job there and

00:08:27.260 I poured everything into that. So maybe on the contribution side, you know, I was, I was really

00:08:32.220 fulfilling my business obligations, but that was killing me everywhere else. My relationship with

00:08:39.740 my wife was terrible. I wasn't showing up as a father. I was fat and unhappy and unhealthy. Um,

00:08:46.820 but I worked 20 hours a day. So that was going well, but, um, was it really going well though?

00:08:53.300 You know, Kip, like I guess on paper, it looked like it was going well, but I was miserable and I was

00:08:57.840 not in a good place. Um, and joining the iron council and really starting to understand what

00:09:04.240 it was that I needed to do to show up in each of those four quadrants is what made all the difference

00:09:08.780 in the world for me. And I, every day I'm, I'm a student every day I'm learning, you know, I hear

00:09:12.780 from guys in iron council, man, you've been here so long. Haven't, haven't you figured it all out?

00:09:16.760 Not even close. Like I, I still fail. I still need to be held accountable. I still need

00:09:21.720 the proverbial slap on the ass to get moving in a certain direction. Um, but it's just finding

00:09:27.780 the bandwidth, finding the ability to do it and finding the bandwidth to maximize all of those

00:09:33.220 quadrants is what really, really makes a big difference. Yeah. Yeah. Reese, I wish I could

00:09:38.920 remember. I, in fact, I probably have a spreadsheet battle plan somewhere that I could probably pull up

00:09:44.580 and kind of see the areas I was lacking, but a lot like you drew, I feel, I think I was doing okay

00:09:51.180 financially. Um, I was a little bit, I was working for myself at the time. And so, you know how that

00:09:57.460 is sometimes it's like hat, you know, scarcity to mentality. It's like market sell hard, too much

00:10:04.740 work back and forth. I had that whole rollercoaster kind of happening. I think my relationship with my

00:10:11.340 wife was, was going okay. You know, probably a little bit more on the negative side. I think we had a lot

00:10:16.900 of disruptions with our teenage son at the time. That was really difficult. I don't know. There's

00:10:22.320 a lot of areas, but, um, maybe something to share Reese that, that kind of is somewhat in the line

00:10:28.480 with your question. I have my original battle plan or my original vision breakdown written down

00:10:36.380 from way back when, and I wrote down, I think it was a year out, three years out,

00:10:44.060 I think five, 10, 15, or something like that. And it felt so good to read that. I read that

00:10:51.760 probably about a month ago. No, no earlier this year. So it's been a few months and everything in

00:10:58.340 that five year and 10 year already met. And it hasn't even been 10 years. And I, and it may actually

00:11:07.880 like, I felt so proud of myself. I was like, Holy crap. Like, I remember this was a pipe dream a little

00:11:12.640 bit, right? It was a stretch. Like these things would be awesome. And, um, totally there. So,

00:11:18.900 uh, a testament to, to ultimately what we're doing in the IC. Reese, I could, sorry, I'd have to look

00:11:24.280 up some old spreadsheets, right. To figure out where I was really sucking. But to your point,

00:11:29.200 Drew, I was probably sucking in all areas and, and continue to suck in all areas. And it's interesting,

00:11:34.340 like even six years ago, I'd say my health wasn't bad. I'd say that I had, I was in a good,

00:11:39.620 healthy state, but I feel like I'm in better shape right now in my life than I was six years ago.

00:11:46.000 Oh my gosh. Six years ago, I'd say, Hey, I'm working for myself. I'm making good money. Like

00:11:53.020 I'm killing it. I'm killing a hell of a lot more now than I was six years ago. So, I mean, it's,

00:11:59.920 it's a scale and there's always areas of improving, uh, in all of those areas. Andy Collins,

00:12:05.520 what would you do to regain the passion for something you've lost due to your own greed,

00:12:12.520 selfishness, and laziness? Now, Andy, I'm going to call you out here, man. Way to be, uh, very

00:12:19.020 detailed and specific on your question. Um, next time, man, just put it out there. Let us know what

00:12:25.220 it is because we're going to have to do some random guessing in regards to regaining a passion

00:12:30.760 for something because I kind of feel like if it's a hobby and you don't have the passion for it

00:12:35.080 anymore, who gives a shit? I'm assuming it's something that you should have passion for that.

00:12:41.620 It's probably a relationship or something, you know, so let's maybe lean in that direction,

00:12:46.020 Drew, if that's okay. And Andy, maybe it's applicable. Maybe it's not, but how do you regain

00:12:50.540 maybe passion for a relationship or a family member or resolving something that you lost due to your

00:12:58.880 own greed, selfishness, and laziness? Yeah, Andy, um, this one's hard because that's a very broad

00:13:06.960 statement. It could be a variety of things. Like you said, Kip, if it were a hobby, I mean,

00:13:13.920 I've had a million hobbies, you know, and you go in and out of those all the time, but I will say

00:13:18.360 that, you know, regaining passion in a relationship, you know, due to your own self-destruction,

00:13:23.900 I think what you need to do, Andy, is you need to, you need to start, go back, start from scratch,

00:13:30.740 go back to when it was passionate, go back to the simple things you were doing that created that

00:13:36.920 passion in the first place. Um, I think what you'll find oftentimes, and I know it's true for,

00:13:42.280 for my wife and myself is that as, as we get older and we, we do more and earn more it, the things,

00:13:49.940 the small things, they don't have to be more grandiose. They just have to be thoughtful.

00:13:55.320 So if you're trying to regain passion, I'm, I'm going on a whim and just using my, my personal

00:14:00.120 relationship. And as I'll say a romantic relationship, Andy, um, the little things,

00:14:04.940 bring home some flowers. Um, have you read the, the five love languages? Do you know what your,

00:14:10.280 your spouse or your significant other's love languages do more of that? Um, it doesn't have

00:14:15.060 to be fancy. It doesn't have to cost a bunch of money. It doesn't have to be so grandiose that it

00:14:19.620 takes planning and coordinating. It can just be little things, grab a dry erase marker and write

00:14:24.940 a note on the mirror. Um, write her a note, write her a nice text. I don't know. Some of those simple

00:14:30.380 little things, you'd be surprised how quickly it regains passion in a relationship. I've fallen

00:14:35.460 short here many times. And, and my wife has mentioned it to me and she's told me, Hey, you know,

00:14:39.800 we really need to focus more on this. You know, I need more of this. Um, you could simply ask this

00:14:46.220 person, what is it that they need more of, um, to pour into, and that will go a long way and that

00:14:53.540 will reignite that passion. I mean, in my opinion, that'll reignite that passion almost instantly.

00:15:02.000 I'm totally like intense driving or over mastering feeling or conviction, right? I'm looking up the

00:15:09.020 definition of passion and outbreak of anger, a strong liking or desire for a devotion to some

00:15:17.360 activity, object, and concept. I like that one. And I really resonates for me. Anyway, the,

00:15:25.780 the, what was the other one? Intense driving or over mastering feeling or conviction.

00:15:34.000 So you want conviction for me, the thing that resonates is get present to why you should be

00:15:43.640 passionate about it. Like, I think conviction comes from the belief of it, right? Like,

00:15:48.800 and, and the belief of it, why? Because we were connected to it in a way that we understand the

00:15:54.320 impact of that thing that we're convicted about. And we have confidence in it. A lot of conviction is

00:16:00.500 a result of confidence and maybe even, uh, confidence in the item, but also confidence in

00:16:07.860 yourself. And so I would focus on how do you regain passion in, in a particular area, start building back

00:16:15.060 that confidence start. And you do that right. By taking action to your point, Drew, you know,

00:16:19.640 what are you doing to create it and create and build some momentum? The other thing is,

00:16:26.780 I don't know why it just, it just clarity of mind. Right. And, and you're already kind of there,

00:16:32.760 Andy, you're saying that you lost something. So you understand you lost it, not because it wasn't

00:16:37.400 the right thing. You understood you lost it. Why? Because of greed, selfishness, and laziness.

00:16:43.280 And I'm kind of a stick kind of guy. Right. And so I'm kind of like, well, what's the impact if,

00:16:49.580 if I don't change, what's the probable future if I don't get that back? And that usually fires me up

00:16:58.680 because it's big. It's really big. I mean, I, and I, I, I think we overlook our impact all the time

00:17:08.420 and, and I don't, and I think we need to get way more present to it. I'll give you an example. I was

00:17:13.700 having a conversation with my, with my boys the other day, and we're talking about, uh, an individual

00:17:20.740 that, that is acting like he's, you know, 20 years old and he's a dad, uh, and, you know, in his mid

00:17:28.440 forties, you know, drunk all the time, um, not living in a healthy, healthy way, not being present,

00:17:36.960 uh, to kids, um, having a good time. And, and it's really at surface surface level. You're like,

00:17:44.560 Hey man, that's not effective for you. And you know, that's not an ideal state. I, man,

00:17:48.900 I take that shit to a whole new level. How's that affecting your kids and how are they going to eat

00:17:56.580 and what kind of healthy lifestyle are they getting from you or the lack thereof? And, and I'm sorry,

00:18:02.340 but if you have young kids and they're overweight and they're living unhealthy lifestyle, that's on

00:18:08.060 you. That's your fault. There's no like, Oh, his baby fat and stop excusing it. Right. People do this

00:18:15.760 shit all the time. They'll excuse it away. Like, Oh, well, yeah, he's kind of heavy. No, you created a

00:18:22.800 shitty environment and you're teaching them bad habits because your lack of discipline in regards to

00:18:28.000 how you show up as an adult. That's what's happening. And you're not being present to your

00:18:33.720 kids because you want to be a shit head and be drinking all the time. That's that's on you too.

00:18:39.220 And when your kid internalizes that my dad doesn't love or care for me because your lack of presence

00:18:44.980 in his life, that's on you too. Like that's, what's at stake. So Andy, I'd say like this thing that you

00:18:52.600 lack passion, what's the probable future? What's at stake? If you don't get your shit back

00:18:57.880 together and it's way bigger than we realize, you know, as, as the Stoics say, memento mori,

00:19:05.380 right? Like getting present to your deathbed. And I think, unfortunately for a lot of us,

00:19:10.020 we're going to get on that deathbed and we're going to be flooded with regret,

00:19:14.460 flooded with all the things that we know we should have done that we didn't do because we are,

00:19:20.420 we had too much greed because we're selfish, because we're lazy. Get present to that.

00:19:27.880 Sorry. I got kind of got riled up. That conversation like made me so mad. Yes.

00:19:33.860 And the unfortunate part, I just want to be really clear. So my, my daughters have a swear

00:19:38.980 jar for whenever I swear, I owe them quite a bit of money because I don't have one. So I don't always

00:19:45.920 add. So then now that like they keep track of, of how much cash I owe them. And I told my daughters,

00:19:52.140 I'm like, Hey, I have to swing you to the office to record an episode. And, and Kika's like, Oh,

00:19:57.020 can I watch it? And I'm like, yeah, you can totally watch it. And when I said that, I thought

00:20:01.080 I'll just make sure I don't swear. Well, I think I just were like five times. So Kika now I owe you

00:20:07.660 five more dollars in the swear jar. My apologies.

00:20:11.040 I love it. Pay your debts, Skip.

00:20:13.240 I know. I, or just actually honor my word and not swear.

00:20:18.860 Or just don't swear. I mean, there's, there's, there's that too. Yeah.

00:20:21.760 Yeah. All right. Sorry, Kika and Kalani. I'll, I'll do better. All right. Alex, uh, Shidi,

00:20:28.620 what factor had you seen that makes the difference between someone exceeding with their goals and

00:20:34.580 their battle plan and et cetera, and then failing the factor of you seen that makes a difference

00:20:39.600 between them exceeding and failing in goals. So, uh, this is a good question. So you can

00:20:48.100 make all the plans. You can come up with all the ideas, but the one thing that separates you have

00:20:55.360 to add the gear and all the gear, you can have all the gear, you can have all the toys, you can have

00:20:59.560 all the things, but you have to actually take action. It's really that simple. If, and Kip,

00:21:07.840 you just talked about how, you know, your five and 10 year goals, you know, you, you've already

00:21:11.260 exceeded those. And I look at things I've set up for myself and I've, I've exceeded those too.

00:21:15.600 It's because when you make a plan and you work a plan, you get the results every time,

00:21:22.060 every single time, if you make the plan and work the plan, you're going to win the plan.

00:21:25.860 Now that works both ways. You can make a pretty shitty plan and you can work that shitty plan and

00:21:30.060 you can get shitty results. But if you're in the iron council and you're learning how to execute

00:21:37.020 properly and how to create effective plans, battle plans, and then you take massive action

00:21:42.940 on those plans every day, you're going to win. That's the recipe. It's all it is.

00:21:49.200 Yeah. Yeah. And I think, Drew, what would you add is the number one pitfall? So,

00:21:54.600 cause we get this too, right? We, we get the guy and I love this. So feel free to latch onto this guys,

00:22:00.680 plan your work and work your plan, right? Plan your work, work your plan. Now guys do that though.

00:22:05.900 And then they still fail, right? So what's, what's the difference between the guy that,

00:22:11.300 that creates the plan, he's working the plan, but then he doesn't follow through or falls off the

00:22:16.780 plan. Where do you think that's rooted in? Well, that's rooted in, in a, a plan that isn't

00:22:23.160 well thought out. You have not, you have not well come to the conclusion of what really needs to be

00:22:28.960 focused on. You know, we operate at you guys and iron council, you know, we operate on objectives and

00:22:33.280 tactics, those things, you know, sometimes your objective is really a tactic to support that

00:22:41.520 objective or, or vice versa. You have to really skin it down. You've got to peel this thing back

00:22:46.700 until you can't peel it back anymore. So you've got to get really finite with what that plan looks

00:22:52.700 like. Sometimes, you know, a lot of guys come in iron council, they're on fire, they're, they've been

00:22:56.620 drinking from a fire hose. They've got so much information, they're ready to go. And they create

00:23:00.640 these plans. And the plans are so big and so grandiose that, that they're going to fail.

00:23:06.960 They're just, they're not realistic. Yeah, totally. There's no way you can keep up that

00:23:11.840 kind of momentum. You're not supposed to like, and even if you are, you haven't been doing this long

00:23:18.000 enough to be able to perform like that. And that's not a, that's not a slighted anybody. That's just,

00:23:23.140 you just haven't been doing, you're new to it. You're green here. You haven't been taking massive

00:23:27.180 action on these kinds of plans for very long. Kip, like you, like me, like, like Reese, Chris,

00:23:31.900 some of these guys in iron council that just have been doing it a long time. We're just a little

00:23:35.300 further down the path than some of these guys that are just joining are right now. So you,

00:23:40.140 you've got to work a plan that is very realistic. Now you can't make it so easy that of course

00:23:45.940 there are things you're already doing. That's something too, that I tell a lot of guys in iron

00:23:49.580 council, don't create a battle plan around things that you already do. You, you, you already do those

00:23:55.000 things. Those don't count. You need to push yourself a little bit. So you've got to get

00:23:59.480 yourself in a place to where the plan is very workable. But that you can also measure results

00:24:05.680 from as well too. And something that you can keep up with. Yeah, cool. I like it. The only thing I'd

00:24:12.400 add, and we don't, we don't talk about these things as much in the IC, but I'll add them from a

00:24:19.740 leadership development perspective, really from work more than anything. So a couple of things,

00:24:24.200 and I think it's part of this comes back to our response to Andy around conviction. You got to

00:24:30.700 get connected to the plan. Like, why are you doing this plan? Like you, the, the phrase I like to use

00:24:39.880 for guys's vision and kind of their mission, it needs to move, touch and inspire you. If you're not

00:24:49.300 inspired by it, you're not going to be committed to it and you're not going to have conviction around

00:24:54.580 it. So make sure that what battle plan, what goals you set for yourself, that you're bought in,

00:25:01.940 that you're fully committed, you're in, and you're willing to grind this thing out to ensure that you

00:25:08.440 stick to the plan and see its results. And it's not, and it has to be stronger guys. It has to be

00:25:14.740 deeper than like, I don't know about you, but like, I don't know. Like I want to be in shape

00:25:20.920 because that will be good. No, it's like, I want to look damn sexy with my shirt off. I want the

00:25:26.260 confidence of walking around naked around my house and my wife going, holy crap, he's handsome.

00:25:33.160 Like it's got to be something stronger than just, I want to be in shape. So connect to something that

00:25:40.480 moves, touches and inspires you. So that way you can get behind it. And then, and it's not a hack,

00:25:48.240 but it helps is a cadence around accountability. And that's what the iron council does, right? Is

00:25:54.660 we have these battle plans. I communicate my battle plan to my team lead and the other members of my

00:26:01.020 team. They know what my tactics are. I'm reporting on them on a weekly basis. And what also helps

00:26:06.740 is I'm surrounding myself around like-minded men that are also getting after it.

00:26:13.820 You know how much harder it would be for guys in the IC to be successful if we didn't have those

00:26:19.320 cadences. If we weren't around other individuals instead, maybe I was around a bunch of hoo-ha

00:26:25.940 morons that had nothing going on in their lives. What's the probability of me staying on the path in

00:26:31.400 life if I'm surrounding myself around individuals that's not killing me?

00:26:36.740 Man, so these things all matter. Who you surround yourself. Being really highly connected to the

00:26:43.980 why, if you want to use that term, of why you're doing something. And then having some systems and

00:26:49.700 some cadences in place to build that accountability. Those are all kind of, I know they're a little

00:26:54.720 hacky. Do you have to have those things? Probably not. But man, they sure certainly help.

00:26:59.340 Anything else to add to that, Drew? I didn't want to get all processed.

00:27:05.700 No. I think the other thing too that I've noticed in Iron Council and something that you have to be

00:27:10.580 very aware of is as you're working this plan, you also can't be afraid to change your plan.

00:27:17.940 Now, it's not changing your plan because you don't want to do the work. Sometimes as you're putting

00:27:23.040 these plans together, the things just don't work the way you envision them to work. And you'll get

00:27:29.100 better at this. Or you're off. Whatever it might be. You'll get better at this the more of these

00:27:32.580 battle plans you do. But don't just stop doing it. Adapt. Overcome it and change the plan to work with

00:27:39.840 what's currently working for you and all your other areas as well. That way you can stay on the path

00:27:44.720 and keep moving it forward. Totally. Two things came to mind really quick just to add to it.

00:27:49.240 So, I stole this from Jordan Peterson and I don't remember the context of his share.

00:27:55.220 But he said that his kids or maybe his clients, they were allowed to change their goal and their

00:28:01.260 plan if the item that they're pivoting to is equally as hard or harder. So, maybe that's how

00:28:10.180 you pivot. It's like, oh, you know what? This isn't the right move. Okay, great. But whatever you're

00:28:14.900 going to pivot to has to be equal or harder to do. And that way you ensure that you're not giving

00:28:20.320 yourself an out. I'm assuming you've done 75 hard. A few times. Okay. And we know a bunch of guys

00:28:27.700 who've done it. And it's ironic is what was, or at least most of the guys that have shared that with

00:28:33.360 me, the biggest win was the psychological win of sticking with it. So, remember that too. It's not

00:28:43.720 just the result of the objective, but it's the man that you're becoming by honoring your commitment

00:28:49.960 that you made to yourself. That's the biggest win here, guys, is you outward expression of what's

00:28:56.920 important to you and you honoring that word that you gave to yourself and possibly others. That is

00:29:03.640 so powerful. And sometimes that's, let's be frank, sometimes that should be enough. Sometimes it

00:29:10.840 should be enough. Sometimes the fact that I told Drew I would do it is enough of a reason that I should do

00:29:17.220 it. Okay, and a man of your word. Yep. Todd Martinez, what strategies do you use when you feel

00:29:25.820 overwhelmed with more to do than you have time? So, strategies that you use when you feel overwhelmed

00:29:32.820 with more to do than you have time? So, I analyze what those to-dos are. A great method is like the

00:29:42.240 need versus want method, right? What do you need to do? What do you want to do? You know, priority list,

00:29:49.380 prioritize it. What has to get done? What things are the priority? Do those things.

00:29:56.180 What things can you focus on at a later date or a later time or are just the, what I said, the wants,

00:30:02.280 you know, that aren't going to affect any specific outcome, but they are things that you still should

00:30:07.420 do. And how can you move those things around? Focus on the things that have to get done first

00:30:13.080 and then the other things, move them to the side. Create a list. Priorities.

00:30:19.660 I like it. Todd, I'm not saying this about you because I actually do feel that some of us

00:30:27.960 really do have a time and priority list problem. I think though that most guys don't.

00:30:36.260 I actually think that most people that say they don't have enough time have plenty of time. So, for

00:30:43.060 those that might fall into that camp, or maybe you're not sure, spend one week and then track

00:30:49.780 your entire week in increments of 15 minutes. And at the end of the week, I would say probably

00:30:55.780 90% of us would find out that we have plenty of time and it's actually being wasted. Whether it's

00:31:02.660 Instagram, Facebook, Netflix, vending, watching TV or whatever people do that constantly is a waste

00:31:10.140 of their time. So, I would get clear first that is this really a time and priority issue or is this

00:31:17.880 just your wasting time doing shit that you shouldn't be doing? There's so many methods to build

00:31:24.720 these lists out. I mean, you could go with time blocking. I mean, there's so many things you could

00:31:28.220 do to help here. Again, another plug for the Iron Council. A lot of this is discussed inside the

00:31:34.620 Iron Council. A lot of guys come in with these same types of questions and concerns around their days.

00:31:40.300 And there is a ton of insight from all of us about how to help you manage this kind of stuff.

00:31:46.120 Yeah. But back to summarize what you just said, Drew, prioritize and execute, right? This is a

00:31:53.000 common, what are the laws of combat from Jocko and Leif Babin and extreme ownership is prioritize.

00:32:00.500 I mean, what else can you do? If you have too much stuff to do and you don't have enough time,

00:32:04.880 you don't have a choice. What you do is you need to prioritize and work on the most important items,

00:32:08.720 period. Right. That's it.

00:32:10.560 It is what it is. Anonymous. So long story short, my friend has been thinking about starting

00:32:17.900 this business idea for about two to three years now. This business is like a second side

00:32:24.640 to the business that I run right now, like a landscape adding snow plowing to winter as a

00:32:30.940 second service. Would it be messed up if I started doing the business because I had the funds and the

00:32:37.640 time to do it versus he doesn't, or would I be stepping on his toes and affecting our friendship

00:32:42.380 by doing this? That's a good question. I like this question too. I actually have, this has happened

00:32:50.940 actually. So, um, look, there are a lot of good ideas out there, but good ideas are just that I good

00:33:01.440 ideas. They're not, they're not actionable items. Um, uh, there's a lot to this. If this friend

00:33:08.400 approached you for guidance on how to start this and, and you are, have agreed to help this person

00:33:13.840 and, you know, figure out how to make this happen. And then you go in and take the idea and just run

00:33:19.260 with it. Um, that's pretty shitty. Uh, but at the same time, I mean, I don't know if, if he's just

00:33:26.420 ever going to act on it, are they going to act on it? And, and if you are already well equipped and

00:33:32.100 able to do so part of me thinks run with it. Um, there's, there's a lot to this that we just don't

00:33:37.880 know, Kip, that that's hard to, to speak on appropriately. But I think if you're asking this

00:33:45.020 question at the root of this question, you know, the answer to this question, I think it's as simple

00:33:51.400 as you wouldn't be at, you wouldn't be asking. So in my, you know, the way I see it and the way

00:33:56.740 just from hearing Kip read this question, uh, you probably shouldn't do it. Yeah. Agreed. Now,

00:34:03.300 a couple of things, this could be a conversation. Like we might be looking into it. You might be

00:34:10.240 looking into it too much. And maybe you talk to your friend and you're like, Hey, like,

00:34:15.720 here's the deal. Like, I love your idea. I think it's a great idea. I can execute on it.

00:34:22.000 And my fear is that you're never going to execute on it. And I, and I can, and I, I'm like, Hey,

00:34:26.860 I want to go on this bad boy. Do you care? Right. And have the conversation with them. I mean,

00:34:32.840 it's worth the conversation and your guys's relationship probably be better off if you

00:34:36.600 did have this conversation, right? Cause it's a, this could be slightly uncomfortable.

00:34:41.120 Here's another consideration is if, if the friend goes, Hey, no, you're right, man. I'm dropping

00:34:47.720 the ball. I just, I don't have the funds. You go ahead and do it. Right. There might still be a

00:34:53.040 little bit of like, damn it. You know, I wish it was me. And Drew's kind of running with my dream a

00:34:58.740 little bit. And, you know, and I'm going to have to chalk it up. What Drew should do in that example,

00:35:04.800 involve me, involve me in it. Because let's be frank. A lot of this isn't about just cash and having a

00:35:12.780 successful business idea. Some of it is kind of a little bit of a baby in your mind. And, and,

00:35:19.900 and maybe that's how you approach it. Hey man, why haven't you taken this action? You don't have

00:35:24.180 the funds or whatever. Okay. Let's go in on it together. Then let's do it together. Like there's,

00:35:29.300 there's other ways of doing this. Then it's just not a, with an abundance mentality versus a scarcity

00:35:35.240 mentality. And maybe you guys do it together. This literal scenario has happened to me and my wife

00:35:41.680 multiple times. And, and the part that probably bothered us the most was they didn't include us.

00:35:51.360 Like we just wanted to be included. You know what I mean? And for us, it wasn't that we didn't have

00:35:56.260 the finances to pull it off. It was more of like, it wasn't a high enough priority to act on.

00:36:01.720 So, but it was kind of our baby idea. Right. And so it would have been nice one for that conversation

00:36:08.700 just to happen of like, Hey, are you going to do this? Cause I, I, I like the idea that we had or

00:36:14.440 whatever, and I want to execute on it. How do I help you do it? Or how do we do this together?

00:36:19.120 And that would have meant so much. So I don't know. Consider those ideas. All right. We're going

00:36:25.180 to hop over to Facebook, Dakota Wyndham. What are some ways to make the most of being a stay at home dad

00:36:32.140 and overcoming the stigma that goes with it? This is good.

00:36:39.060 Yeah. Um, so my wife is home with our kids. She, she's, she's a stay at home mom and she has the

00:36:46.400 most thankless selfless job. And she, we also homeschool our kids. So she's also teacher. Uh,

00:36:51.900 so her breaks are far and few between. Um, but as I've never been a stay at home dad, I've,

00:36:57.200 I've always gone and worked and run my own businesses. Um, I think the best thing you can

00:37:03.260 do Dakota is just, is just show up every day, man, and be the best version, be the best dad.

00:37:09.840 You can be your kids, be the best husband you can be to your wife. Um, and just show up every day

00:37:16.700 and just be consistent, take action. Uh, the stigma, I'm not going to belittle it,

00:37:22.900 that there is no stigma. I don't know. Um, for sure.

00:37:25.900 What are you going to do about it? You're going to run around and take some people's opinion of you.

00:37:29.880 Who cares, dude? Every, just show up every day and do, you know, your kids are so lucky to have

00:37:36.240 a dad at home. That's so awesome, um, to be able to do that. So I would just continue doing what

00:37:41.680 you're doing, show up every day and, uh, just be consistent with the action you're taking.

00:37:47.200 Yeah. That's the key thing I think is just be, kill it, be awesome at it. Bring those

00:37:53.920 masculine, typical traits of, of, of structure to the home and do it your way and just get after it

00:38:02.480 and do an amazing job. And guess what? You're not going to, who gives a crap about what other people

00:38:08.460 think from a stigma perspective and, and get your band together. Well, who are some other dads? What

00:38:15.200 are they doing? Get around those guys, right? That's going to help create some momentum around

00:38:19.060 what you're doing. Um, Dr. Warren Farrell, his book, the boy crisis has an entire section in that

00:38:25.160 book that talks about this very scenario, because as the pendulum swings and more women go into the

00:38:32.560 workforce, right? This becomes more of a probability and there is, you're right. There is without a doubt,

00:38:38.840 there's a stigma, but there's also a stigma in the, on, on the feminine side way too often that you're

00:38:45.980 not fulfilling your full potential as a woman, if you don't get a job. So welcome to the, welcome to

00:38:51.920 the party, I guess, like who gives a crap about stigmas? You rise up, you show people how it's done

00:38:57.260 and you do an amazing job. Who cares? A hundred percent. I like it. Love it. All right. Dawson.

00:39:05.100 Kennewese Kennewese Kennewese. How do you, uh, what do you do if you are struggling to move on from a

00:39:13.680 crisis even after the danger has passed? I'm not sure if I follow that question drew as much, but

00:39:20.860 um, again, very broad, uh, to really identify, I guess a crisis and a danger. I mean, it sounds

00:39:30.440 fairly serious. Like a crisis happened that was dangerous, obviously. And it's, and it's still

00:39:36.640 affecting you and it's no longer a threat, but it's still affecting you emotionally. So, uh, was it

00:39:42.180 Dawson? Is that the name? Dawson? Yes. Um, Dawson, look, man, I, uh, without more information, it's hard

00:39:47.940 to, to offer some insight here. I would say it sounds serious or it sounds like it was serious to me.

00:39:53.540 Um, I, I, I would seek some help maybe. Do you need to, to, to seek a professional, some therapy

00:40:00.620 around this? Um, there is also the method of, you know, facing this type of thing head on and, and

00:40:07.760 getting more experienced in being able to defend yourself or, or help yourself. Um, if that is part

00:40:14.240 of the situation, it's hard to say. I mean, I feel like I'm just kind of shooting from the hip on this,

00:40:17.580 but Dawson, I would say if, if you need help, brother, seek it out, um, and get a professional

00:40:23.540 input on, on how to navigate this. It sounds like maybe there's some PTSD or something along

00:40:28.980 the lines going on here. So definitely seek some help, man. And it's okay to ask for help.

00:40:35.220 Yeah. Yeah. And the only thing that crosses my mind, and I think it transcends all things,

00:40:39.720 right. Whenever we build deal with any form of trauma, whether it's minor or major, it doesn't

00:40:46.200 matter. Trauma is trauma for whoever it is. There's always a gap between our, uh,

00:40:53.680 the event and our emotional response. Right. And, and I would try to get present to that.

00:41:00.740 So if get present to your emotions, right. I feel a situation occurs and I get fired up emotionally,

00:41:08.660 like pause and go, okay, wait, where's this coming from? Why do I feel this way? Like ask the questions,

00:41:14.380 you know, when I think about, you know, even in base, in a very basic way, if I get in arguments with my,

00:41:21.460 my spouse and I'm emotionally charged, rarely is it really what we're talking about? Let's be frank

00:41:27.380 here. Right. No one, no one gets mad at dishes, right? No one gets mad or emotionally charged at

00:41:34.340 anything. Like I even bring this up, even from a work perspective, if we have a client that, that if

00:41:40.140 it never, it never happens. But if we get a client that's upset, they're not upset that we win over

00:41:47.180 budget. They're not upset that the tech isn't exactly what they want. That's not why people get

00:41:53.680 upset. They get emotionally charged because usually what, how it relates to them as an individual.

00:42:01.960 So if we go over on a project, I'll get emotionally charged, not because we went over on the project,

00:42:08.600 I'll get emotionally charged because it makes me look bad. And now I'm concerned about the trust and

00:42:14.220 my reputation with other people. Like there's something bigger always whenever emotion is

00:42:20.180 brought up. It's not the dishes. It's the lack of feeling respected. It is a lack of order in my life

00:42:27.920 because it feels chaotic because I was out of integrity all day long. And now I'm looking for

00:42:32.740 something to be ideal in my life and simplistic, right? Like it's always something more and, and we'll

00:42:39.600 never be able to deal with the something more as long as they hold on to the idea that like, well,

00:42:46.080 I'm upset because of Drew. Oh, I'm upset because of this. I'm upset. No, none of us are upset at any of

00:42:52.900 those things. It's our interpretation of them that is causing discomfort and emotional response

00:42:59.620 and being present to the interpretation that we're creating is the secret sauce. And so as much as we

00:43:07.400 can pause and get present of like, okay, wait a second. When this occurs, why am I triggered here?

00:43:14.540 And what am I making it mean? And how does it relate to me? And then own it. And now I can go back

00:43:21.740 to Drew and say, Drew, dude, I'm out of line. I'm sorry. Earlier today, I totally got upset.

00:43:27.200 When you said X, Y, Z, it totally, I interpret it as you didn't give a shit. In reality, I just

00:43:34.700 realized that you were busy or whatever. My apologies for lashing out. That is what we need to constantly

00:43:41.440 be doing whenever there's emotional response to things. Now, I don't want to diminish anything

00:43:45.520 what Drew said. Seek help, right? Like if, if this is an issue, it's, it's, um, preventing you from

00:43:53.600 being effective. You might need professional help and we're obviously not professional. So seek that

00:43:58.800 out. But with that said though, man, I love this aspect of the iron council because Drew, how many

00:44:05.900 times I swear, how many times I feel that guys would, we can say things because we're not the

00:44:14.060 professional. And, and because we've had this, I've had this kind of conversation, even with a

00:44:20.000 psychiatrist, right? And they don't dare say anything, right? Because they're like, well,

00:44:24.440 this is my profession. And if I give bad advice, I could get lawsuit or whatever. Like Drew and I

00:44:28.780 could just sit on the call and say, dude, man up and stop being an idiot. Right. And you know,

00:44:33.640 what's the repercussions of those statements. So we can maybe be a little bit more transparent and honest

00:44:38.140 than maybe a professional can be in a setting like this, but, but seek, seek that help if necessary.

00:44:46.140 All right. Anything else to add to that, Drew, or any disclaimer? Nope. Okay. Uh, John Barbie,

00:44:53.660 if you could only have one piece of equipment to work out with, what would it be? Really

00:44:58.100 important question here. One equipment, one piece of equipment. It would be my weight vest.

00:45:03.520 Yeah. You use that a lot. Like you'll ruck on it, pull up, all kinds of pushups, run,

00:45:11.600 run with it. Yep. Everything. Um, it's really, I think I've seen the biggest change,

00:45:16.560 the most endurance feel the best and just all around best workout with that weight vest.

00:45:24.880 Cool. Um, I don't know, man, maybe some 50 pound dumbbells or something that I could just

00:45:32.800 throw around, uh, maybe kettlebells. Maybe if I had to pick one, maybe a pair of kettlebells.

00:45:41.680 Okay. Charles, um, Logan, how do you safely handle conflict at work online or at home? Mostly

00:45:51.200 wondering about doing so without devolving into shouting, throwing and hitting that would,

00:45:59.920 that went from handling conflict to like not hurting people and causing damage. Yeah. Um,

00:46:06.720 yeah, that sounds, don't do that. Yeah. Don't, don't. I would, that's not, I would say let's,

00:46:12.560 let's not, let's not punch holes in walls and hit people. Um,

00:46:18.560 and I, I don't even know where to go with this, uh, handling conflict at work. I mean,

00:46:23.600 it sounds like there is a major breakdown in communication and it sounds like it's been

00:46:30.800 happening for a very long time. I mean, it, it, this sounds extreme to me. Um, and this sounds

00:46:36.000 like it's, it needs to be addressed. Um, again, very little details here, but man, you got to get

00:46:43.440 back on the communication train here and start talking about what's really going on and figuring

00:46:48.160 some things out. Um, otherwise it sounds like maybe it's time to consider a change of job and

00:46:55.520 get yourself into a more healthy work environment would be the two things I could rattle off here.

00:47:01.360 Like, especially like if the other people are shouting, yelling and throwing and hitting.

00:47:05.200 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good point. I'll, I'll share maybe an example, Charles, that might help.

00:47:11.760 Uh, it, it doesn't include shouting, throwing and hitting. It's more of the, the corporate

00:47:17.600 PC version of those things, right? Undermining the chain of command, communicating up the chain,

00:47:24.000 back talking, right. Of other individuals. That's kind of what we more common see in, you know,

00:47:29.680 in the public sector and the, in the workspace. Um, so I had, uh, I had a, a team lead from another team.

00:47:38.160 Uh, a member of my team wasn't pulling his weight.

00:47:45.840 And it eventually got to a point where this individual from another team was like, Hey,

00:47:50.320 this is a problem. And so emailed me and then emailed my boss with this, like literally like

00:47:59.440 corporate electronic courage paragraph of I did this. And then here's the timestamps and

00:48:04.640 you know what I mean? Like all this evidence, right. All this, this, uh, evidence of why she's

00:48:10.560 right. And, um, of course me and the owner, like immediately kind of nipped it in the butt,

00:48:17.360 right? It's like, no, no, that's not how we work here. And so the proper approach in that scenario

00:48:24.960 is, did you go talk to the guy that's dropping the ball? And did we, when I say talk, do we learn

00:48:37.040 why he's dropping the ball? What's going on? He's a human. Do you think he's intentionally

00:48:44.160 going out of his way to make sure he doesn't do what you need? They think it's malicious.

00:48:49.680 And in most cases it's not. So then the question is, is then why did he drop the ball? Oh, wait,

00:48:55.920 you didn't know he had 30 other projects. Oh, you didn't know that things at home are like falling

00:49:02.160 apart and he's really struggling. Like you didn't know all these other things. You need to understand

00:49:08.000 what's going on and then find unified alignment. So Drew, if you and I were struggling with something,

00:49:15.600 let's say we're in disagreement, right? To almost to the extent, maybe we'll get to shouting,

00:49:20.240 maybe not throwing necessarily, but we're shouting because we're handling a conflict.

00:49:25.360 Then back it up. So if our conflict is here, back it up and keep backing up until we have alignment.

00:49:32.880 And so Drew and I, let's say we're, which I'm trying to think of a good example here.

00:49:37.280 You and I are conflicted about, and we're having a conflict around something within the iron council

00:49:42.560 and how we handle things. And you're like, mighty networks is, is awesome platform. I'm like,

00:49:49.040 no, it should be Microsoft teams. Cause I'm a Microsoft teams guy. And we have this debate all

00:49:54.320 out. I know I'm right. You know, you're right. We have complete disagreement and we're kind of

00:50:00.080 frustrated and upset. Now, first off is why are you upset? Is that have anything to do with what

00:50:05.120 we're talking about? No, it means that I'm not, I don't feel heard. Right. I think I'm right.

00:50:11.840 And the fact that might be wrong hurts my ego. That's where the emotions come from. So get

00:50:16.800 connected to the emotional response that you're having and then back it up to unified alignment.

00:50:22.640 And Drew and I, in this example, could line back up to the mission of the iron council.

00:50:30.240 What are we trying to do in the IC? Equip men with the tools, resources, and processes necessary

00:50:37.440 for them to leave a lasting impact in their personal lives and their families and communities.

00:50:42.400 Are you in agreement with that, Drew? Yes, you are. I am as well. Okay. So we're not disagreeing about

00:50:50.080 our mission and purpose as our organization. We're just seeing the approach as being different.

00:50:56.400 And when you can back up to alignment, then you can kind of get connected back to the desired outcome

00:51:04.480 and realize like, okay, these are just different ways to try to get to the same spot.

00:51:08.880 And the weight of me being right or him being right kind of gets diminished a little bit because

00:51:14.800 what's right is that we're equipping men, right? And that we're focused on the right mission. That's

00:51:20.720 what's right. How we get there is just artistic, different approach. And then we can discuss

00:51:27.840 and debate it and keep our emotions in check. Sounds good to me.

00:51:33.120 All right. And we don't disagree often. I was just, you know, I just use that as an example.

00:51:37.440 Never kidding. All right. All right. Ryan Ziello. Sorry, Ryan. All right. Ryan,

00:51:47.040 so you gave a big background here, right? So like, uh, you know, brand new listener,

00:51:52.080 30 year old dropout owns his own business. Um, you sound like you're killing it, Ryan too,

00:51:59.360 right? Like 12 wholesale accounts, multiple locations, donut shop in a prime location. Like

00:52:07.280 he's making progress. It sounds like he's doing a great job. He says, his question is with expanding

00:52:14.320 the brand, I can't always be there holding hands. What's your first move with creating an environment

00:52:22.080 to have employees that generate revenue when you, or one of your managers is not around to keep the

00:52:29.120 momentum and that the expectations are high. Right? So how do we, he's kind of babying this

00:52:34.880 thing. That's how I'm seeing this, right? It's he's killing it. Why? Because of him. And now he's

00:52:40.400 getting to a size here where he can't be at all places. Right. And, and really what's that first

00:52:46.000 move in creating the environment to, to allow growth. There's, there's a couple of things to

00:52:52.880 unpack here, Ryan. Um, Ryan, so, you know, you've got to, it sounds like you've grown this thing to,

00:53:00.320 to a solid place, but you've really got to push through. So you got to trust the process.

00:53:04.400 You got to trust that you, you've, you built the right systems. You put the right systems in place.

00:53:10.260 So you got to trust that process. You've got to, you've got to be willing to take the risk.

00:53:14.780 You got to jump, you got to, you got to jump through. And then you also have to trust and,

00:53:20.020 and ensure that you're putting the right people in the right types of places, the right types of

00:53:24.300 positions. Skip, we touched on that a little bit, a little bit ago. You got to have the right people in

00:53:28.040 place. Um, so maybe you need another manager or two, maybe you need to ensure that those,

00:53:34.400 those people are performing and showing up in the, at the right times in the right places.

00:53:38.780 Um, I would just say, again, I'll reiterate, trust the process. You got to take the risk.

00:53:43.740 You got to push through. Um, and you got to see, it sounds like you see what will be rewarding on

00:53:49.100 the other side. You just haven't quite pushed through to that side yet. So push through and,

00:53:53.640 uh, just really rely on your team. You know, you put them in place. It sounds like you,

00:53:58.440 and you mentioned a manager or two rely on them and, and show them lead from the front,

00:54:03.720 show them that you're taking a risk and that you're really trying to grow this thing.

00:54:07.340 And you'd be amazed at how they perform for you. If you've really entrusted in them and,

00:54:11.600 and have faith in them as well. Yeah. I like that. Here's, here's a couple thoughts to consider.

00:54:21.300 What you don't, well, I have my opinion of, but the ideal state is so Ryan, take it for what it's

00:54:27.920 worth. People are going to approach this differently because they might say, well,

00:54:31.800 this line of workers are, um, it's not professional services, Kip. So you can't expect,

00:54:38.020 you know, this kind of level of professionalism from your employees. I don't buy that. So I don't

00:54:42.780 care if it's a donut shop. I don't care if it's a garbage collection company or an IT consulting firm.

00:54:49.020 This is my, my take of how it should be. Do not lose trust. Do not lose the speed of trust.

00:54:56.820 So the question then is back to your point, Drew, you need to make sure that you're hiring the right

00:55:02.200 people. And the kind of people that you want are people that are self-directed in regards to the

00:55:09.340 desired outcomes of the company, period. That will own the problem, right? So I'm running a donut shop.

00:55:16.180 I see a issue, default aggressive. They're addressing it. They're self-directed. They don't

00:55:20.500 need to be micromanaged by you. And they have your blessing to execute and do what's right for the

00:55:27.160 company. Now, are they going to make mistakes? They do. Those are called investments from your

00:55:31.980 perspective. But the last thing that you want to do is so be so stringent in your process that I'll

00:55:36.900 make sure you do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And now I'm just a cog in the wheel.

00:55:41.060 I just work at this company. I'm not empowered. I'm not, I'm micromanaged by you. You don't believe in me

00:55:47.880 and you're going to dampen any good employees. And then you're going to have to perpetually hire

00:55:52.180 morons that will just follow the process because you're treating them like morons by being too

00:55:58.340 defined in regards to what exactly needs to happen. So get people that are, will take extreme

00:56:04.440 ownership and are self-directed. Now here's the key for me to be self-directed in executing in my job

00:56:11.680 function. I need to know what success looks like. It has to be super clear to me. So what

00:56:17.860 is the desired outcome, right? And you got to set those expectations. This is what's expected

00:56:23.560 for you to keep, you know, selling donuts when I'm not there. What does that mean? That means

00:56:28.480 10,000 donuts a day, right? That's what that means. So you need to have metrics that makes it

00:56:33.400 very clear for me as an employee of what killing it looks like. What does high success look like?

00:56:39.500 And then you work with me and make sure that you have proper transfer of ownership where you don't

00:56:46.340 let, because here's the other thing about trust that I find is really interesting. And this is

00:56:50.200 like a new thing for me that I learned literally over the last six months. Drew, I can go to you.

00:56:56.180 So let's, let's, let me pause. Sorry. Two things. There's a character of trust and then there's

00:57:01.720 competency of trust. Okay. If I went to Drew and I'm not beating up on you, Drew, but I I'm assuming

00:57:08.580 you're, you're, you're not training jujitsu on a regular basis. So you, you don't, you don't consider

00:57:14.240 yourself a jujitsu practitioner. Is that fair to say? Okay. Correct. So I want to go to Drew and

00:57:20.100 say, Hey, Drew, I trust you, man. I trust your character. You're an amazing guy. I trust you to

00:57:25.120 execute and teach a jujitsu seminar tomorrow. Now Drew could rise to the occasion and teach,

00:57:33.100 but he's probably going to fail. And then what happens to my trust in Drew? It gets diminished

00:57:39.200 and I don't trust Drew. I set that all up. That was my bad, not his because he didn't have the

00:57:45.420 competence, right? To be able to do it successfully. So you need to make sure that where you have

00:57:52.500 these employees that you need to have them rise up and, and be empowered to execute that they're

00:57:58.440 capable of executing. Otherwise they will fail. And that's not on them, by the way, that's on you

00:58:04.600 for putting the right person, not putting the right person in the right role. So make sure these guys

00:58:10.200 are there. They're self-directed. They have metrics. They know what success looks like.

00:58:14.620 And then you need to work on decentralized command. And part of that and decentralized command or the

00:58:20.720 transfer of ownership is, is this person ready for that ownership? And do I have a cadence to support

00:58:28.420 them and make sure they have what they need to be successful in that job? All right.

00:58:33.980 Adam Sharp. Hey, Kip and Ryan, one question I have, I have to ask is how do you talk about toxic

00:58:40.920 masculinity when other people believe it's a real thing? So that's really the question here. And

00:58:45.540 then he gives some feedback, right? Of he has some guys that, you know, I'm just paraphrasing for Adam

00:58:52.180 because it's kind of a long question, but you know, how do we, how do we do this, right? How do we have

00:58:56.980 a conversation with people that believe toxic masculinity is like a real thing and, and assuming

00:59:04.000 that you don't drew? So let's, let's clarify that too, but how do you, how do you handle that

00:59:09.160 conversation? Well, I really don't engage in, in that conversation with people that, that, that buy in

00:59:17.400 or believe that in toxic masculinity, um, there's nothing to be ashamed of, of, of being a strong

00:59:23.420 man. Um, I dunno, I don't really, I wish I had a better answer. There's nothing to run from. Um,

00:59:31.900 we show up and we do what we are, know how to do, how to be a strong, able-bodied, willing man,

00:59:38.580 um, who can be loving and endearing, but is also ruthless and violent and will provide and protect

00:59:47.140 for his family. Um, I dunno, I, I, this, this is a, this is a hard question for me because it's just

00:59:52.760 not a conversation that I engage in. I'm proud of who I am. I'm not embarrassed by it. Um, those that

00:59:58.960 think men are toxic. Uh, I don't know how well that works for them when strong willing men show up for

01:00:04.920 them day in and day out to provide and protect and preside over them. And when you shouldn't be

01:00:10.400 embarrassed by it when they need it and when they need it, um, whether that's through, and don't get

01:00:13.960 me wrong, whether that's through law enforcement, military, first responders, um, there's so many

01:00:19.340 ways that strong men show up every day. Uh, and you, we see it time and time again, it's nothing to be

01:00:24.900 embarrassed about. It's nothing to shy away from. Um, and if you don't like it, then, uh, I feel bad for

01:00:31.400 you. Yeah. There's two things here, Drew, that I think that I'd like to dive in more. And, and I

01:00:37.720 think the, the one is, is, you know, when, when one person says toxic masculinity, is that, is that

01:00:45.040 what we're saying is like, is it even the same thing? Right. They're just saying, Oh, like, uh,

01:00:50.200 like the alpha male asshole kind of guy, we call that toxic masculinity. Okay, great. But not masculinity

01:00:57.360 itself is not toxic. Right. So we're just saying those guys are kind of a toxic version of it.

01:01:02.920 And they're like, yeah, Oh, okay. Then maybe we're saying the same thing. Right. So there,

01:01:06.900 there is a little bit of a clarity, I guess you could seek after trying to make sure or see,

01:01:13.600 understand when they say toxic masculinity, what does that really mean? But I think what you said,

01:01:18.460 Drew, which is kind of not related to the question, but I think is the bigger, important thing

01:01:22.720 is what I heard you say is, uh, I don't engage in a conversation to try to convince someone something

01:01:30.500 that they believe that's not what we do. So why don't you talk about that more? Because I think

01:01:35.580 that's the bigger thing here is, well, why, why are you trying to convince someone that is passionate

01:01:42.200 about something else? Right. And, and kind of the tugboat versus the lighthouse mentality and the power

01:01:48.580 of when to have conversation, when not, if you want to dive into that. Cause I, I think that's

01:01:54.780 kind of the, the, the real value add to this question. Everything is so polarizing, you know,

01:02:00.880 right now, I mean, it has been for some time and then all the, the current political climate and

01:02:07.300 COVID and all these things just seem to, to really up the ante, thanks to the propaganda and the media

01:02:12.720 that really just drives this stuff through the roof. But when you go outside and you talk to your

01:02:17.220 neighbors, you realize that we're all on the same page for the most part, 90 plus percent of us,

01:02:24.360 that's that teeny little percent. This, this person that they're talking about, it's that teeny

01:02:28.760 percentage that seems to make the most noise and really gets their voice amplified for one reason

01:02:33.340 or another. But when you go out and talk to your neighbors and your fellow men and, and, and everybody

01:02:38.600 that you speak with, it's amazing how similar we all really are and how we really just want to

01:02:46.620 be able to show up every day and be a good person. All the other nonsense and noise. It's just,

01:02:52.480 that's all it is. It's just nonsense and noise. Why are you trying to engage with someone that is

01:02:56.940 clearly doesn't want to see, or, or is open-minded to see the big picture or see what it is you're

01:03:01.600 trying to explain. You're not going to change your mind. They've already made up their mind.

01:03:04.420 Yeah. Kip, I don't know. I just have a hard time engaging in conversation that is,

01:03:12.420 you're just being set up to fail. You know, the person doesn't want to see or realize

01:03:17.680 any positive attributes in anything. It's just like, they've locked into this one negative

01:03:23.240 experience. And look, I'm not ignorant. I realized that yes, there are some outliers here

01:03:29.420 that do portray some of these, these, these things, this, this proverbial toxic masculinity

01:03:35.100 or whatever it is you want to call it. There might be one asshole out there that,

01:03:38.260 that really shines through on this one thing, but being a strong man is there's nothing toxic

01:03:45.760 about that. Being proud of your masculinity. There's nothing toxic about that.

01:03:49.920 You said something that like, um, cause I want to provide clarity. You said that, um,

01:03:55.320 why would I do something, set myself up for failure? I want to be really clear. It's not

01:04:00.480 because Drew doesn't have a good argument that thus he would fail. We, we hold onto this mentality

01:04:07.200 way too often that we think that if Drew and I were in a disagreement, that if I come up with the

01:04:13.660 best sound bites and the best debate that Drew's going to be emotionally charged, get angry with me.

01:04:21.140 And then once I drop some solid knowledge, he's going to go, Oh, you know what? You're right.

01:04:26.560 Kip, I'm wrong. I changed my mind. No, it's out of, uh, it's out of intelligence that we realize

01:04:34.020 it doesn't, humans don't work that way. You argue with me and I'm emotionally charged. I double down.

01:04:42.620 I'll, I'll, I'll avoid all logic for the sake of being right. Because I don't want to,

01:04:49.460 because I got to protect my ego. Most of what people do on a day in and day out basis. And really

01:04:56.820 like guys really like consider this, you wake up in the morning and you walk the way you walk,

01:05:04.880 you drive the car, you drive, you dress the way you dress. You have the conversations you have

01:05:09.800 all mostly driven by trying to be trying to look good and the avoidance of looking bad.

01:05:18.440 It is at the center of what you do on a regular basis. That is what humans are doing time in and

01:05:25.200 time out all the time. And we're not going to look bad just because of logic. That's why people lie.

01:05:34.800 That's why they smoke in mirrors. That's why of all they'll start attacking character and everything

01:05:41.500 else because they have no desire to just go, Oh, you know what? Let me check my ego. I'm wrong.

01:05:48.180 You're right, Drew. My bad. That's not how humans work. And most importantly is do you want someone

01:05:54.340 like I even, I even latch onto this quite a bit. Like even with my kids, it's like,

01:05:59.220 do I want them to do something? Cause I coerced them because I, I harassed them to into doing

01:06:06.140 something or do they want them to do it because they're convicted to the reason behind it?

01:06:14.020 So I never zero will have a political debate with anybody about anything. And I love to have those

01:06:22.960 conversations. I'll, I'll talk psychology and personal improvement and leadership and politics

01:06:29.840 all day long. I love those conversations, but when I'm around people and they want to debate,

01:06:35.380 I have no desire to, because I understand human nature well enough to know that's a waste of their

01:06:42.520 time and mine. Now, if Drew came to me and we saw things differently and said, Hey Kip, I want your

01:06:48.460 opinion about something I'm down now. Now I'm open to having a conversation, right? But if he's sitting

01:06:55.500 at the dinner table and he's running his mouth about blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, he's totally

01:07:00.500 off base. He's off base. Be confident with the way you see things, you know, and me running my mouth

01:07:06.640 and getting into debate with him. It's not going to help. It's just going to, cause that's not how

01:07:11.660 humans work. So don't lose your humanity and think everyone's just going to be logical and you're

01:07:16.800 going to be a superhero throughout some serious, you know, Ben Shapiro knowledge and everybody all

01:07:21.720 sudden everyone's going to be a conservative, right? It doesn't work that way. It doesn't work

01:07:25.980 that way. They need to come to that conclusion on their own, right? And the best we can do is share

01:07:31.140 when they ask and be great shining examples. So you want, you don't like, I don't know, someone

01:07:37.200 liking about or having an issue of toxic masculinity, then be the prime example of masculinity and show

01:07:44.920 up in a wicked, powerful way and just be the proof, proof in the pudding of what it is to be

01:07:51.660 masculine. How are we doing on time, Drew? Do you got a couple more questions? I got, I got a couple

01:07:57.160 more of me. Let's do the last two. Let's call two. All right. How do you deal? There's three. We'll,

01:08:02.740 we'll rapid fire these ones. I won't talk as much as I normally do. All right. Samuel, how do you deal

01:08:07.680 with a mother-in-law who are very, who is very opinionated about everything in your life, in your

01:08:13.740 wife's life? Do you set boundaries or do you let her, let your wife set the boundaries? This doesn't

01:08:20.040 affect me so much as it does my wife, but when it affects my wife, it spills over into both of our

01:08:25.780 lives. I think he answered his own question. Boundaries are key. His wife should set the boundaries

01:08:32.320 with her mother. Um, and if that's not working or, or it needs to be further along, then you need to

01:08:39.880 set some boundaries too. End of story. Yeah. And if you set those boundaries, do it with your wife.

01:08:44.240 You guys have to unify front. You go set some boundaries on behalf of your wife because,

01:08:48.820 because you're superior and she's inferior and mother-in-law like doesn't hear it from her.

01:08:54.080 No, no, that's a disaster. That's not going to work either. So do it together if you're going to do

01:08:59.900 those boundaries. Yeah. Okay. Are we good with that one? Good. All right. Uh, Rudy van de Viver,

01:09:06.780 the struggle and resolution to raising a youth that is babied and spoiled and wanting to bring

01:09:13.460 him into the world of responsibility, work, effort, honor, doing what's right, even when it's difficult

01:09:19.500 or inconvenient. So the struggle and the resolution of raising our young youth that's been babied and

01:09:25.700 spoiled. Um, I don't know if he's speaking generally or of his youth, his children that

01:09:31.720 are maybe didn't spoiled. Um, so you got to take an inventory of what's going on at home currently

01:09:37.080 and what might need to change in order to give these kids a little tough love. Um,

01:09:43.620 I mean, of course, skip your kids. I've got kids. You want to, you know, you want to spoil them and

01:09:48.500 take good care of them and give them an amazing life. But my wife and I discuss this often, you know,

01:09:53.840 we want to make sure that we also are setting them up for success in the future. Um, and having

01:09:58.500 them experience some difficult hardships and, and, and have to push themselves take, you know,

01:10:04.500 they need to lose in sports and they need to get, uh, you know, they need to experience what that

01:10:09.540 loss is like. My son, you know, he, he finished his season of lacrosse in the spring and they made

01:10:14.200 it to the championships and, and they played so great all season. And a lot of, a lot of us thought

01:10:19.560 they were going to really take it far in the championships and they got smoked and it was

01:10:24.220 hard. It was hard to see my son upset and he had some tears and he cried about it. And, but it was

01:10:29.560 good for him. It was good for him to experience that, that loss and understand that they probably

01:10:34.520 need to try a little harder if they, you know, they lost because they didn't put all the effort

01:10:38.360 forth. Um, and, and that's good for him. So I think you need to take an inventory and really

01:10:43.320 understand what it is that's happening on the home front and then start making your, your

01:10:48.200 pivots there. Totally. I think the number one contributing factor to youth being babied,

01:10:56.720 spoiled, and all the other, you know, uh, terms that we could use is they were never taught delayed

01:11:05.200 gratification period. They've never experienced what it's like to, and I'll just, I'm projecting here.

01:11:14.820 I, I never wanted to work on the farm. Never. But man, I can tell you how good it felt

01:11:23.000 at the end of the day. And it felt good. Felt good to see that field. Felt good knowing that we got all

01:11:30.960 that air to gate. It felt good to like delay, grind, and end the day with huge amount of work done.

01:11:41.540 Most kids will never experience it because they never had to go to the grind to experience what

01:11:48.200 it's like to have delayed gratification in their effort. And why, what are you competing with?

01:11:55.160 Instant gratification. On the phone all day long, instant gratification, entertainment on my TV,

01:12:03.600 instant gratification, video games, instant gratification, candy, instant gratification.

01:12:08.280 Like everything is instant. That's the world we live in. Like we, you want something it's,

01:12:14.120 I want it now. Like Amazon can't deliver it in what today or tomorrow. Like it's all about living in

01:12:20.320 the moment and in getting, um, not living in the month. That's not the right term, but being gratified

01:12:26.020 instantly. And that's what you're fighting against. So get mindful of all those things that are giving

01:12:32.660 instant gratification. Look for scenarios to create delayed gratification so they can see what it feels

01:12:40.280 like to grind and do something hard. And then, and then have the gratification afterwards.

01:12:47.080 What's crazy about this is this isn't just like, oh, these are tactics of human behavior. We're talking

01:12:52.760 chemicals here, right? Like we're talking, there's science around this. Do your research,

01:12:58.940 get connected to the science of what's happening in the human mind, what dopamine we're getting from

01:13:04.260 what, and, and what you're fighting against. For instance, the dopamine hit that a kid gets

01:13:10.340 from playing a video game. Guess what, how that compares to the dopamine they get from mom and dad

01:13:16.340 doing, you did a good job, Jimmy. Doesn't even compare, man. Usually that used to be good enough,

01:13:23.000 right? I felt good that I helped mom and dad and, and they're so proud of me. So I'm going to do that

01:13:27.400 again. That's a chemical reaction. The amount of chemicals they're getting from their phone

01:13:32.620 and from video games doesn't even compare. You're, you're fighting against an uphill battle.

01:13:39.280 So be mindful of what we're also exposing our kids to as part of this process. A couple of resources.

01:13:46.400 Um, the boy crisis, Warren Farrell, he has a chat whole chapter about this as well. And the coddling

01:13:52.300 of the American mind, I think is probably one of the most insightful books around how this started.

01:13:59.020 Like how, how do we get into this victim woke mentality culture and where it originated from.

01:14:05.520 And it's very, very insightful. So the coddling of the American mind, I don't remember the authors,

01:14:10.120 but just search for that title and those will be good resources for you. All right. Last question,

01:14:15.840 Dusty Perkins, Ryan, I've always struggled to communicate my feelings, ideas,

01:14:20.360 once, and information. Rudy, that just sounds like you're struggling communicating anything.

01:14:26.440 I'm teasing. So feelings, ideas, once, and information. Information pretty much summed the

01:14:31.780 eyes. I have a problem with just communication as a whole. It was a leading contributor to my

01:14:36.900 marriage ending. Now I'm just being a dick because now you went all like, you know, sad here and I'm

01:14:42.820 making funny. All right. I'm sorry. My marriage ending. I want to learn how to better communicate

01:14:47.160 these things, but I also how to communicate in a way that hopefully a future spouse understands,

01:14:53.460 but she also feels heard, understood, and seen. I appreciate any thoughts and references such as

01:15:00.180 books, podcasts, and other materials that could help learn to do this better.

01:15:05.580 So communicate better, but communicate in a way like he's assuming a dichotomy here, I think,

01:15:11.360 but communicate in a way that a future spouse still feels heard, understood, and seen at the same

01:15:18.780 time. Yeah. Dusty, that's tough because you don't know what this future spouse is going to,

01:15:26.140 what they're going to be like, their personality, how they're going to communicate, so on and so

01:15:31.080 forth. I would definitely, if you're not in the Iron Council, I'd definitely join the Iron Council.

01:15:36.940 Tons of great insight in there. There's tons of great resources. The five love languages I mentioned

01:15:42.760 earlier, great book to read, understand what your significant other's love language is. That doesn't

01:15:48.520 directly correlate to communication, but in a lot of ways it does because you know how they respond to

01:15:53.960 how they respond. So that's a great resource. And I would take a self inventory here, Dusty,

01:16:02.080 understand what is it you are looking for? What is it you want and need in a relationship?

01:16:08.120 How do you like to communicate? Do you journal? Do you write things down? Why don't you start there

01:16:13.320 and better understanding how it is you communicate? Work through your thoughts better.

01:16:18.120 Yeah. Work through your thoughts a little better. It sounds like that is probably what you need and

01:16:22.920 what is missing in order for you to show up better this next go around. I'm sorry it didn't work out

01:16:28.020 on your first marriage, but it sounds like you really need to do some self-evaluation here

01:16:34.820 to really understand what it is you want. You need to be the best version of yourself

01:16:39.220 so you can show up and be the best for someone else. If you can't be the best version of yourself,

01:16:44.260 there is no way you are going to be able to show up for anybody else. So I would do that self inventory

01:16:49.940 and really get right with yourself before you even consider pursuing another relationship.

01:16:55.780 Yeah. And I'm, I'm making a big assumption here, Dustin, but in your quest or dusty in your question,

01:17:02.360 you're kind of like, how do I become a better communicator?

01:17:06.880 But in a way where my spouse feels hurt, those things are not opposites. In fact, they can almost

01:17:14.920 be unrelated to each other. And so let me explain that because I think what you might be saying is

01:17:21.680 that I, if in an argument with my spouse, well, I want to be heard and I want to communicate. So

01:17:29.320 I'm going to communicate, but what I'm communicating is opposite of how she saw the situation. And so then

01:17:35.040 she doesn't feel heard because I don't feel the same way she doesn't. And now it's a, her, I thing.

01:17:40.240 So I want to be, so assuming that's the case, let me provide this suggestion.

01:17:49.100 One, we need to let go of right and wrong. When we talk about communication with another individual,

01:17:56.140 right? If Drew and I were like, no, no, no, the best color is red. I'm just snagging your color shirt

01:18:02.160 here. Best color is red. My best color is green. And we could debate. Well, is that true? No,

01:18:07.940 it's not true. Drew's just telling me what he thinks, right? And so when you're in an argument

01:18:13.460 with your spouse, listen and listen from the perspective of not, is she right or wrong,

01:18:21.080 but she's sharing how she feels. Period. Doesn't matter. Oh, I think you're an asshole. No, I'm not.

01:18:29.800 No, actually the correct way of listening to that is I think you're an asshole. Really? You,

01:18:35.020 you feel that way. I do. Why? What is it that I do that you interpret it as being a jerk so I can

01:18:44.920 understand you, but we typically don't do that, right? We like argue. No, I'm not or whatever.

01:18:51.200 It's like, it's because we're not listening. Listen to what they're saying and understand their

01:18:56.940 point of view. Now, with that said, I can ask those questions. Well, Drew, why do you feel this

01:19:02.120 way about me? What is it that I do that causes you to feel that way? Interesting. I understand

01:19:08.020 where's that rooted in? Is there other times that I showed up this way that might cause that same level

01:19:13.980 of interpretation, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And then I could say, do you mind if I share

01:19:18.860 my interpretation of how that situation went down? And here's the most powerful thing.

01:19:24.740 Share it from the perspective of what you're owning. And that is your emotion, not projecting

01:19:32.340 on someone. So don't do the, you're always or all that, or you are none of that, right? It's like,

01:19:38.100 Hey, honey, when you did X, I interpret that as whatever and whether right or wrong, it kind of

01:19:46.880 makes me feel this way. And then I overreact or whatever. So own your emotions, communicate the

01:19:53.040 scenario. So you can address it, but you're communicating your interpretation most of the

01:19:58.040 time. And you're understanding her interpretation most of the time, because after all, that's really

01:20:03.640 what most of our life is full of anyway, not truths of right and wrongs, but interpretations

01:20:09.680 of situations and understand her interpretation and you will understand her better.

01:20:17.620 Cool. Rock on. All right. Anything else?

01:20:21.340 Um, you want to wrap up, uh, anything before we wrap up, Drew, from your perspective?

01:20:27.700 No, I think that's, I think you hit that nail on the head. I think both of the, both of the

01:20:32.500 insight that we offered was, is what Dusty could use to hopefully help him move, move forward.

01:20:37.080 That's so that's self inventory is going to be a big, big deal here.

01:20:41.800 Yeah. And there's a lot of that on our questions today, right?

01:20:44.600 A self-awareness of your emotional state conviction around what you're doing seem to be really

01:20:52.480 consistent across the board as well. Um, here's the deal. I'm here. Drew's here. Why are we here?

01:20:58.620 Why is the iron council? Why is the order man around? Because we're, we're, we're committed

01:21:03.740 to the desired outcome of us rising up and becoming better men, but also standing for other men to do

01:21:11.200 the same. So, um, if you're listening to this, if this resonated, reach out to Drew and I, let us know

01:21:16.800 how it went. Give us some feedback where, you know, it's, I loved your answer earlier, Drew, about your

01:21:22.640 battle plans. Like, and I'm still growing, right? I'm still progressing. And we all are, uh, none of us

01:21:28.580 are perfect of course. And, and we're just at, we have as much failures as you guys. Um, and that

01:21:35.800 we are constantly working on at the same time. And so, um, band with us, help us rise up by you

01:21:42.220 rising up, join us on the Facebook group at facebook.com slash groups or order man, and then

01:21:48.420 to learn more about the iron council or to sign up for the iron council on the 15th of this month,

01:21:54.460 go to order of man.com slash iron council and get signed up. Um, I don't have any other updates.

01:22:01.080 Of course, all our order of man events are all sold out. I mean, they were sold out a month after

01:22:06.620 the event started. So, uh, that's not going to happen. So, and their waiting list, I think for

01:22:11.460 like the main event is like hundreds of people. So it's, it's yeah, you know, you guys aren't getting

01:22:17.220 in, but we'll communicate when that opens back up. So stay connected to Mr. Mickler as well

01:22:22.340 at Ryan Mickler, whether on Twitter and Instagram, to make sure that you're aware of when we start

01:22:27.640 new events, so you can sign up as, as fast as possible. And of course, for your latest

01:22:31.860 order of man swag, go to store.orderofman.com. Drew, thank you so much. Thank you.

01:22:37.720 Always a pleasure.

01:22:38.460 Questions. And until Friday field notes, take action and become the man you were meant to be.

01:22:45.740 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

01:22:50.080 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - September 07, 2022

The Power of Conviction, Handling Conflict, and Struggling with Communication ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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