Order of Man - The Power of Shared Principles

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:27.420 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the order of man movement.

00:00:31.680 Man, we've got a lot of talk about today. It's, um, it's certainly a crazy time in which we live.

00:00:37.620 And I thought I'd talk with you today about the power of shared values and how there seems to be

00:00:43.680 so much divisiveness. I'm not sure there's as much divisiveness as the media would, would portray and

00:00:48.840 have us believe, but I definitely believe that there is some divisiveness that we need to address.

00:00:54.100 And the sooner we're able to address, uh, the root of the issues, uh, I think we're going to be able

00:01:02.100 to move on with more hope and optimism and success in this country and across the planet. So we're

00:01:08.800 going to talk about that in a minute. Um, if you're new, this is a podcast about becoming a better man,

00:01:14.380 a more capable father, husband, business owner, community leader, however you're showing up.

00:01:18.960 And it's evident to me, and I've been saying this for five years now, but it's wild times. I mean,

00:01:25.720 to say the least, and our ability to step up as fathers and husbands and business owners and

00:01:30.920 community leaders and coaches and mentors and brothers, uh, is, is crucial. It's crucial to

00:01:38.000 our own wellbeing, certainly, but the wellbeing of those that we have responsibility for. It's our

00:01:42.220 families. It's the people in our neighborhoods. Uh, it's the people that are struggling and dealing

00:01:47.180 with issues right now that are very apparent. Uh, and, and it's my job to give you the tools and

00:01:52.100 the resources and the conversations to help you do what you needed to do within the walls of your home

00:01:57.420 and in your community to step up and lead in times where leadership is missing is lacking

00:02:04.220 and is much needed in society. So, uh, I didn't prepare any notes. Usually I do,

00:02:09.300 but I wanted to speak with you from the heart, uh, and express some of my thoughts about what's been

00:02:15.880 going on. Now I'm never at a loss for opinion. And I always say for better or worse, you may agree

00:02:20.580 with it. You may not, but, uh, I'm certainly open to dialogue and conversation and discussion as long

00:02:25.920 as it's done intelligently and reasonably. And with, with, with some level of respect.

00:02:31.900 So if you agree with me, great, let's, let's get on the same page and work together. If you don't,

00:02:35.900 let's discuss and talk and see if we can find some common ground. And that's exactly what I wanted

00:02:40.040 to talk with you about today is finding common ground. Uh, because it seems to me that the

00:02:45.680 underlying theme of all of the issues that we deal with, whether it's politics or racism or

00:02:51.940 money issues or religion, any of the, any of the points that seem to bring up contention,

00:02:58.760 it's because we're operating not from our foundational principles, but we're operating

00:03:04.580 based on emotion. We're operating based on our perception of things, things that I don't want

00:03:10.160 to say they're not relevant, but surface level bullshit that really doesn't speak to the

00:03:16.260 foundational principles that I believe most of us adhere to. And if we're to have a nation,

00:03:22.320 a united nation, uh, then we're going to have to find some, some common interests. And what's

00:03:29.500 interesting about this is I believe that all men, whether you're Brown or black or black or white,

00:03:34.980 or whatever your, your, your culture or your race, whatever is, I think at the foundation,

00:03:42.360 we all want the same things, right? We want to, we want a little money in the bank account.

00:03:48.900 We want to have a romantic relationship. We want to connect deeply with the people that we care about,

00:03:54.500 whether that's our wife or our children or friends or colleagues or coworkers.

00:03:57.980 We want to have some experiences. We want to be left alone to pursue meaningful interests and

00:04:04.800 activities and hobbies. We want to worship God and in the way that we see fit. I think if I asked

00:04:10.660 a thousand men today, what they wanted, I think every single one of them without fail would probably

00:04:16.680 fall into one, if not all of those categories. And so when I see the divisiveness that we faced in

00:04:24.320 this country, it's really disheartening. In fact, I was thinking about this last night for the first

00:04:30.540 time as a father, I really began to worry about the future of my children in this country. You know,

00:04:40.040 we faced hardship before. I remember the LA riots. I believe those were in 92 or 93. Uh, I remember the

00:04:46.960 first, uh, Gulf war desert storm. And I must've been maybe 12 or 13 at the time. We've seen things

00:04:56.860 before. You know, I've, I've been to war as in the military, I've seen things, but what I'm seeing

00:05:03.520 now is very disheartening. And I'm not sure that unless we can find some common interest and some

00:05:09.420 shared principles, that's what I'm going to address here in a minute that we can ever recover from things

00:05:14.920 like this. So when you look at your neighbor and you look at your, the people you're interacting

00:05:21.880 with, and you look at the people in your community, instead of seeing race, instead of seeing political

00:05:28.220 tension and division, like ask yourself, what does that individual believe at their foundational core?

00:05:33.900 And I'd be willing to bet that they believe the same thing as you leave me alone. Let me worship or

00:05:40.100 not worship how I see fit leave clear the path so that I can create some income for my family and

00:05:46.840 myself. And I can have some experiences that I can have a romantic relationship and intimate

00:05:52.160 relationship with, with another human being, even that I can connect with my kids and the people I

00:05:59.040 care about all the things I just addressed earlier. We all want that. So we need to focus on these

00:06:04.960 foundational elements because if we do, if we focus on these foundational elements, then all of the

00:06:10.180 other stuff, not that it's non-existent or not relevant, but it becomes less relevant because if

00:06:15.600 we have shared principles and shared philosophies about life and the way that we view our lives and

00:06:20.860 the way that we want to operate within those things, then yes, we may have disagreements, but at the end

00:06:25.000 of the day, we're all trying to get to the same place. And my concern right now is that we have 300 plus

00:06:31.940 millions of Americans who are all trying to get to a different place. It's like, what, what, what's

00:06:36.620 the problem here? Whether you're black or white or whatever you, you want to get to the same place.

00:06:43.960 You know, I'm a white guy, obviously. Like I'm, I'm not going to pretend that that doesn't exist.

00:06:48.840 And to my black brothers who are listening, like you want the same thing I want. I want the same

00:06:54.820 thing that you want. We all want the same things. Unless we start talking about those things and finding

00:07:00.640 the commonalities in the places where we intersect in our beliefs and our views and our principles and

00:07:05.560 our philosophies of life, man, we're going to have a difficult, if not impossible time recovering from

00:07:11.500 the situation in which we found ourselves. You know, I take the situation with George Floyd and I

00:07:16.160 think what, what a travesty, but I can't for the life of me and I've tried and I'm only coming with

00:07:22.300 my perception, but I can't for the life of me understand why there is so much divisiveness over

00:07:28.360 this. In fact, I don't think there is much divisiveness over it. I think that any human being, any

00:07:35.220 human being who has watched that video would call that horrific, would call that a tragedy, would call

00:07:43.420 that a crime against justice, a crime against George Floyd and his family, a crime against that community.

00:07:50.800 Maybe we take an officer who we have trusted to protect and serve and defend and, and, and, and preserve

00:07:59.320 our way of life. And he shattered it in eight minutes, shattered it. Not only that trust, but the trust of

00:08:08.700 millions and millions of Americans over the past week or so. But I haven't come in contact with anybody

00:08:17.020 who believes anything to the contrary. Anybody that I've talked to would say pretty much the same thing.

00:08:24.580 And so I don't think there's as much divisiveness as the media would have us believe. And we've got to

00:08:29.200 consider the motives of the people and institutions and organizations and governments that we're

00:08:35.760 interacting with. Is it in the best interest of the media for all of us to get along? The answer is most

00:08:42.440 certainly no. If we look at that objectively, I mean, we, we like to think that the business of,

00:08:47.980 of the media is, is journalism, objective journalism and analysis of what's happened.

00:08:55.180 Clearly that isn't happening. I'm not pointing fingers on sides. It isn't happening with CNN and

00:09:00.160 it isn't happening with NBC and it isn't happening with Fox and it isn't happening with anybody.

00:09:04.000 It's not being reported objectively. There's biases and there's prejudices and there's racism

00:09:13.860 built into all of this. And that's the problem. That's the problem. You know, I thought about this

00:09:22.060 thing, uh, with the, with the blackout Tuesday where everybody's supposed to blackout their Instagram

00:09:28.060 profiles as a, as a sign of solidarity. That's the, that's the hot word of the day. Solidarity.

00:09:34.920 That's the word we're supposed to use. Right. And yet I don't see any solidarity.

00:09:41.340 I don't see people getting along. You know, I actually posted something about that because I

00:09:45.960 didn't, I didn't post any picture for blackout Tuesday. I said, look, if you want to do that,

00:09:49.420 great. If you don't want to do that, great. You know, I've spent my, I spent the last five years,

00:09:53.660 my life's work at this point over the past five years, dedicated to giving you men, not white men,

00:10:00.020 not black men, men, no other qualifier necessary men, the tools, the conversations, the resources,

00:10:13.160 the framework, the network, everything that you need in order to be successful in your own right.

00:10:19.760 I've done that for five years and I will continue to do that. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

00:10:25.680 I don't feel it necessary for me to post a black picture in order to illustrate my commitment to

00:10:31.880 some cause. I've been proving that over five years and the overwhelming majority of people

00:10:38.860 were respectful of that. In fact, the people who disagreed with me were still respectful. And I

00:10:43.020 thought, man, this is actually a pleasant surprise. I thought I was going to get railroaded on this.

00:10:48.840 I thought people are going to be upset because I shared my perspective and my opinion, which is

00:10:52.320 what I've been taught in the past, that just because I share a different opinion that somebody

00:10:56.240 has to provoke or antagonize or demean or attempt to demoralize. And very rarely do I see any grace

00:11:04.860 afforded that, you know, somebody might actually have a differing thought than you and it's okay.

00:11:10.760 It's okay. In fact, it's important. It's only important though, if we have shared principles,

00:11:15.820 because if we don't have shared principles, there's nothing else we can talk about,

00:11:20.880 right? There's no sure footing. There's no sure foundation for the rest of the dialogue and

00:11:26.580 discussion. I have to believe in good faith that you want what's best for you, that you want what's

00:11:32.860 best for your family, that you believe in freedom and liberty and independence, that you believe in

00:11:37.000 personal accountability and responsibility, and that you believe I can make good decisions for myself

00:11:41.580 and my family, that you can make good decisions for you and your family. Like I have to believe that

00:11:46.460 in order to engage with you. Because if I don't, and here's my, here's my history is I can't tell you

00:11:53.720 how often I see somebody who asked a question, which clearly is not in good faith. You know,

00:11:58.360 they say, say the right things like, Hey, I'm just no, Hey, I'm just trying to ask or, or, you know,

00:12:04.620 I'm, I'm not trying to blame or correct me if I'm wrong. And clearly the way that they're wording

00:12:09.260 their, their questions and their rebuttal is clearly antagonistic. It's not to be open-minded

00:12:16.660 and receptive to new information, new ideas or a new perspective is to poke and prod and pick.

00:12:23.380 It's like, don't you have anything better to do with your life? You should, you as a man should have

00:12:28.740 better things to do with your life. You should be leading your families. You should be having

00:12:35.840 conversations with your wife and going on vacations and being intimate with her, physically intimate

00:12:41.040 with her. You should be connected with your children. You should be coaching their teams

00:12:46.120 and teaching them their schoolwork and running around and bouncing on the trampoline and having

00:12:51.840 difficult conversations. Like one I had with my son just the other day, very uncomfortable yet,

00:12:56.280 very rewarding for him and for me. And I think it will serve him better based on the conversation we had.

00:13:02.240 You should be looking after your neighbor. You know, like when's the last time you went to your

00:13:10.940 neighbor's house and you mowed their lawn because they were elderly and they had a hard time doing

00:13:16.240 it or pick some weeds. You know, you should be improving in your career. You should be figuring out

00:13:23.600 where your inadequacies and your shortfalls and what information and skill sets and, and, and,

00:13:29.240 and, and skills and talents. Do you need to develop and grow and, and foster so that you can become

00:13:36.580 more valuable to your organization, your business, your employer? Those are the things I think most of

00:13:45.560 us would, would share. I think all of us share that there's a very slim percentage that people who

00:13:52.480 don't share that. So what I'm challenging you to do is to think about what your foundational principles

00:14:00.160 are. Now, how many of us have taken the time to sit and ponder and think, and even journal about what

00:14:11.060 you believe, what do you believe about God? What do you believe about politics? What do you believe

00:14:21.780 about other human beings, black and white and anywhere in between? What do you believe about

00:14:28.860 money and about what it means to be a good man? What do you believe about your responsibilities and

00:14:36.860 your obligations and the roles that you play as a father and a husband and a leader in your community

00:14:40.520 and a owner of your business or employee or brother or friend, coach, mentor, whatever role that you're

00:14:44.920 feeling? What do you believe about that? And I'd be willing to bet that anybody at any given moment

00:14:52.880 that you happen to be standing next to would probably believe the same thing. And if we don't,

00:14:57.740 what else is there we can do, right? If there's no foundational principle, what else can we do?

00:15:05.700 Nothing. The answer is nothing. So all these conversations that we've been so hesitant about

00:15:12.740 having about politics and religion and God and spirituality and racism and tribalism and what

00:15:20.500 you believe and what you don't, these are the kinds of conversations we should have with an open heart

00:15:24.940 and an open mind, knowing that that person, although they disagree with me, probably wants the same thing.

00:15:31.340 Now I've been guilty of this as well. You know, I'm on social media all the time. My job demands it.

00:15:37.720 And I've had people come back to me with rebuttals or disagreements. And I will admit that

00:15:45.560 in a lot of instances, I'm hardheaded and I'm stubborn and I'm defensive about those things.

00:15:51.420 Like any human would being, being would be, but if I step back and think, all right, I'm not going to

00:15:59.320 take this personal, I'm just going to evaluate the feedback, which is something I've tried to be

00:16:03.880 deliberate of over the past several days. I'm going to try to evaluate the feedback. I'm going

00:16:08.900 to try to put myself in that other person's shoes and try to understand their perspective and see

00:16:14.880 where they're coming from and really figure out if I could read between the lines, what's actually

00:16:19.320 important to that individual. What I found is that again, most people just want to be left alone.

00:16:24.860 You know, they want to do their work. They want to be committed fathers. They want to expand. They

00:16:33.280 want to grow. They want to have some experiences. They want to live life. Like these are the things

00:16:37.100 that we want. These are the foundational principles. These are the things that are important to us. If

00:16:41.800 you strip away color, race, religion, politics, political affiliation, these are the things that we all

00:16:48.660 want. So let's stop having the conversations up here, right? Like I think with this George Floyd

00:16:56.180 horrific event and experience, I think that all of us would agree that it's a travesty and that

00:17:02.340 individual who killed George Floyd ought to be arrested, prosecuted, tried and stand justice or,

00:17:12.080 or, or, or experienced justice for what he did. We all believe that. But if I look another human

00:17:19.020 being in the soul, I'm not a race, just a human being. If I look another human being in the eyes

00:17:26.580 and I try to experience what life would look like in his situation and what he believes and what his

00:17:34.520 culture is and what his experiences are and what his background is, I'd be willing to bet that that man

00:17:40.600 or that woman standing across from me believes primarily the same things I believe. And I would

00:17:46.460 have you consider what it is that you believe. Do you believe that all men are created equal?

00:17:52.460 Do you really, or do you not? Do you believe that justice is blind?

00:18:00.400 Do you believe in the value of personal accountability and responsibility?

00:18:04.060 Do you believe that a man's job is to be noble and virtuous and strong and capable that he is to

00:18:15.220 protect himself and other people and not just other people talking about strangers,

00:18:21.920 talking about people that have found themselves in a difficult circumstance or situation and

00:18:27.280 protecting complete strangers who may have differing opinions and viewpoints than himself.

00:18:31.140 Do you believe that? You know, we've been talking about it for five years, but do you believe it?

00:18:37.060 Do you believe it's your job to protect a perfect stranger? Because if it is, and you believe that's

00:18:42.640 what it is to be a man, then these other problems begin to melt away because you won't see race for

00:18:50.180 some sort of inadequacy or inferiority. You'll just see it as some, a little different pigmentation

00:18:59.160 in somebody's skin. Do you believe that it's your job to provide, to make yourself capable of providing

00:19:07.620 for yourself and your family, but then turning it outwards to your community members? Because if you

00:19:12.420 believe that, and if all men believe that, and most men believe that, and they work actively work

00:19:18.420 towards being more capable of stepping into the role of a provider, then these other issues go away.

00:19:24.400 Do you believe it's your job to lead? Or are you a spineless coward who cowers in the face of adversity

00:19:36.760 and opposing viewpoints and challenge and strife and struggle like we're dealing with now?

00:19:44.460 Or do you make a stand for what you think is right? Because if you believe that you're meant to lead,

00:19:50.440 lead, then you will lead. And I've seen way too many of our nation's politicians, I would say leaders,

00:19:56.940 but I would be doing them potentially a service they don't deserve. We've seen our nation's politicians

00:20:04.260 crumble, crumble because they've been tasked with some difficult circumstances that they may have to say

00:20:15.480 something that is not popular. Anyways, like I said, I'm speaking from the heart, a little bit off

00:20:25.180 the cuff. I don't have any notes for you today or any framework. Like I usually would the three point,

00:20:31.420 the three point framework for X, Y, and Z. I'm just kind of riffing on this stuff.

00:20:37.940 I'm sure that you have thoughts and ideas and insights, but look, there's some things I believe

00:20:44.100 I've already shared with you. I don't need to keep droning on and on about it. And I believe all

00:20:47.160 men are created equal. I believe that America is generally good. That capitalism is, is a system

00:20:59.240 that has been devised by man. And it's not without flaws. It certainly has flaws, but it is the single

00:21:06.800 greatest system ever devised and concocted by man. And it has lifted more people, whether you're black or

00:21:13.040 whiter, like I said before, anywhere in between out of poverty and, and, and out of health conditions

00:21:18.840 and out of crime and all the other things that we don't want to have to deal with, but we do.

00:21:27.100 And the system could use an overhaul, a looking over, but it is a powerful system.

00:21:33.460 I believe that most men, including police officers want to do right.

00:21:43.560 They want to do right by themselves and their families and the people of their communities.

00:21:48.840 And that we've allowed some unfortunate, and that's putting it mildly, but some unfortunate

00:21:54.140 circumstances and situations to dictate the tone of the conversation. When I think 99% of the people

00:22:02.380 out there would be more than willing to come together at the table, whether that's a physical

00:22:07.700 table or the proverbial table and have these conversations and hash this stuff out and talk

00:22:12.180 about our grievances and our differences, and also our similarities, these shared values and

00:22:17.200 these shared principles that most of us have. So again, to reiterate, get a journal out, get a piece

00:22:23.540 of paper out, search in your heart and mind. Like, what is it you stand for? What is it that you

00:22:28.600 don't stand for? Ask your brothers, ask your father, ask your neighbors and your community

00:22:34.940 members and the people you work with, what they believe. Strip everything else away. It's not

00:22:40.880 about this religion or that religion. It's not about this race or that race or this political

00:22:44.760 affiliation or that political affiliation. Like get deeper guys, get deeper than the labels that we put

00:22:51.180 on ourselves. And sometimes labels play their role. It helps us to compartmentalize. It helps us to make

00:22:57.100 sense of an irrational world, but sometimes they don't make sense. And the labels of Republican

00:23:03.660 or Democrat, the label of, of black or white, the label of Catholic or Christian or Baptist or whatever.

00:23:14.440 Sometimes they don't serve us. Like I said, we all want the same thing. Figure out what it is that you

00:23:19.360 want. Ask your neighbors what it is they want. I think you're going to find some commonalities,

00:23:23.700 a lot of commonalities. And I think through those shared interests and those shared principles,

00:23:28.660 it's powerful. And we'll come together and we'll solve the problems that we're facing as a nation

00:23:33.880 right now. That's all I've got for you. I don't have the solution. I don't have the answer. There

00:23:39.020 isn't some magical fairy dust that I can sprinkle over everybody in the country and say, poof,

00:23:43.420 our problems are gone. But I think if we really want to address this, there's no amount of legislation,

00:23:49.980 rules, executive orders, no amount of that, that's ever going to solve these problems. Guys,

00:23:56.440 we have to get deeper and we get deeper to the principles, the principles of freedom, liberty,

00:24:03.960 all men are created equal. And when I say men, I'm talking about women as well in this context,

00:24:09.640 that we have the right, the God-given right to pursue liberty, not to be locked up in our homes

00:24:18.640 because people are out there committing crime and writing and looting. No, that's not the pursuit

00:24:25.700 of liberty. That's the antithesis of it. So let's work together, find those individuals, whatever race,

00:24:33.240 whatever religion, whatever creed, whatever nationality, find those people who have shared

00:24:37.680 interests, shared principles, stand together, quite literally shoulder to shoulder and route out the

00:24:44.840 evil and the atrocity and the nastiness that we see in the world today. I've got some more thoughts

00:24:52.220 on this and I'm going to be sharing over the past, the next several weeks about what these thoughts

00:24:56.480 and ideas are, but those are my initial thoughts off the cuff. Let me know what you think. Connect with

00:25:03.820 me on social media. I'm most active over on Instagram at Ryan Mickler. If you want to see my,

00:25:09.920 my lovely face, as I share these words, then you can go over to YouTube, youtube.com slash order of

00:25:15.320 man, Facebook, Twitter, all the places, all the places. Let me know what you think. Let me know

00:25:20.320 what your principles are. We'll see if we agree. I'd be willing to bet that the majority of us,

00:25:25.280 the overwhelming majority of us, all of us probably have some, some strikingly similar

00:25:32.300 principles, goals, ambitions, and desires. We can solve these problems, but it's going to take bold,

00:25:38.900 capable, assertive, strong, moral men to do it. And I know that's you. We all fall short. I fall short.

00:25:45.100 You fall short from time to time, but man, if there isn't a time to step up, I mean, this is it.

00:25:50.340 This is it. This is the time to step up and we can salvage what's, I was going to say what's left,

00:25:57.140 but I don't think it's there yet, but we can salvage this great nation, but it's going to take

00:26:01.600 you doing your part, finding your principles and then finding those men, regardless again of race,

00:26:07.580 race, religion, creed, nationality, finding those men and banding with those men towards a common

00:26:14.560 objective of good and the rights that we have been bestowed, life, liberty, and the pursuit of

00:26:25.960 happiness. All right, guys, that's all I've got. I'll be back next week. Until then, go out there,

00:26:30.180 do your part, know what you stand for, know what you want, band with other men who are like-minded

00:26:35.260 and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:26:41.360 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:26:45.380 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - June 05, 2020

The Power of Shared Principles ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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