Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Kip, what's up, man? Good to see you.

00:00:26.520 Merry Christmas. You too. Are we allowed to say that anymore? I thought you had to say happy

00:00:32.580 holidays. I'm going to say it. Yeah. That's politically incorrect, Kip. Come on now, man.

00:00:36.760 You need to be more sensitive. Yeah. We need to just be more politically correct so we get more

00:00:41.280 followers and we don't offend anybody. I mean, it's just, I don't know. It's so funny to me. Like,

00:00:47.060 I kind of think that I'm Christian, right? You're Christian. And so when somebody says Merry Christmas,

00:00:52.840 I'm obviously not offended by that. I'm really trying to put myself into somebody else's shoes

00:00:57.460 who isn't Christian or maybe they're Jewish or Muslim or any, any other religion. And if somebody

00:01:03.840 said Merry Christmas to me, I think I would just say, I would either say Merry Christmas back or I

00:01:08.580 would say, thank you. Yeah. Or I'd say, that's it. Yeah. Like, that's it. Like, I don't think,

00:01:16.500 I don't think I would get offended about that, but maybe, I don't know, maybe, maybe people aren't,

00:01:20.700 maybe it's just blown out of proportion, but it seems like people get upset. I actually walked

00:01:24.240 into the local hardware store a couple of days ago. This was last week. And I think I was getting

00:01:29.280 a little space heater from my garage gym and I got it and walked up to the register and the guy rang me

00:01:34.200 up. And, and as I was leaving, he handed me my receipt and he said, Merry Christmas. I was both

00:01:39.880 shocked and pleasantly surprised that a company actually had the balls to just say Merry Christmas

00:01:46.140 instead of pandering to everybody and trying not to, you know, rock the boat or make anybody feel bad. 0.89

00:01:50.200 He looked me straight in the eye and said, Merry Christmas. I was like, Merry Christmas. Thank

00:01:54.380 you. And, and I thought I'm going to spend more money at the store, you know? So it's crazy. It's

00:02:00.460 crazy. Yeah. The last thing we need to be doing is pandering to, to people's feelings more. I think

00:02:08.680 that's the last thing that needs to be occurring. Yeah, for sure. Well, I kind of liken it to the same

00:02:13.180 thing of, you know, have a good day. And if I was having a bad day, I wouldn't be offended by that.

00:02:19.100 I'd be like, Oh, thank you. Even if I was having a bad day and I was pissed and somebody said,

00:02:23.280 have a nice day. I'd be like, thank you. I wouldn't like that. I wouldn't take offense.

00:02:28.180 I wouldn't feel slighted. And yet so many, that's the same thing as Merry Christmas. It's just a nice

00:02:33.020 greeting. That's all it is. Yeah. Don't, don't read into it. Like it's just somebody trying to be

00:02:37.720 friendly and nice. Just say, thank you. Even if you don't believe in Christmas, it's fine.

00:02:41.520 Yeah. Well, it's just like what we were talking about before we hit record,

00:02:44.420 right? If you're offended, that's a mindset problem. Yeah, for sure. So fix your mindset

00:02:50.140 instead of walking around going, Hey, you know, everyone needs to pander. So my mindset doesn't

00:02:55.960 piss me off anymore. It's like, no, you're going to be pissed off anyway. Those are all stories.

00:02:59.500 You're telling yourself, you're walking around being offended all the time. It doesn't matter

00:03:02.380 what people say. Yeah. Right. If you're offended, correct your mindset. It's that thing of, you know,

00:03:07.520 nobody can offend you. You actually have to choose. You have to receive it. You have to decide to be

00:03:11.880 offended. Like there's nothing you could say that would offend me. Now there's some, some things

00:03:17.580 that you could say that weren't, you know, respect. Like there's a lot that you, but I

00:03:21.540 ultimately have to accept it. That might trigger you. Yeah. That might trigger you, but it's still

00:03:25.640 your choice. Right. I ultimately have to accept it and decide to be offended by the words. They're not

00:03:31.040 even words. They're just noises our bodies make. Yeah. That's all they are. And then we attach meaning to

00:03:37.420 them collectively. Right. We decide that this word means this thing, uh, or individually we decide,

00:03:43.120 oh, well that noise that Kip made or the way that it was made or his body tone when he said it means

00:03:50.840 this thing. And actually it could mean none of that. You just interpreted it that way through your own

00:03:54.820 baggage than through your own lens. Totally. Yeah. Totally. All right, man. Well, let's get into some

00:04:00.260 questions. Hold on. We've got to change your name here. We got, you've got you and your wife here. 0.82

00:04:04.160 Lord your name here. Hold on. Let's get you taken care of Kip. Anything else you need me to do for

00:04:11.180 you today or, um, you know what? All right, let's go. Let's go. Let's do this. Some of those red, 0.99

00:04:17.620 uh, curve balls. Are they all gone? Um, I think I have maybe like four or five left. I don't have

00:04:25.400 very many. It's right. I snagged one actually. Yeah. Right after our, yeah. A couple man. I did.

00:04:31.120 It's, um, it's Christmas season. I was like, you know what? This is perfect. The entire leadership

00:04:36.040 team that I work with, they're all getting a order of man ball caps. That's right, man. That's right.

00:04:42.060 The best, the best gear for sure. Somebody made fun of us. Cause we were talking about our hats too

00:04:47.040 much yet last week, by the way. Yeah. These guys on YouTube, they're like, these guys really like

00:04:51.680 their hats. It starts at like the real episode starts at five minutes, you know, in 30 seconds or

00:04:56.540 whatever. So we won't talk about hats. I cracked a joke on your Instagram. I, uh, I was just joking.

00:05:04.540 Did you see that? Uh, I don't know. Well, maybe it was, what was it? Oh, about balls on my face or

00:05:11.640 something. I didn't see that. Yeah. I did see that. Oh, so I had to say it. I was like, I'm offended. 0.99

00:05:20.240 I had to say it. It was, I'm offended. Yeah. That, that could go, that could go in a thousand

00:05:27.660 different directions that actually I'm just not willing to go right now. So thank you. All right.

00:05:32.920 Thank you for making light of my, my training session. I appreciate that. Hey man.

00:05:41.240 Yeah. Follow Ryan on Instagram. I had to say something. So I felt justified in sitting on my

00:05:49.620 couch doing nothing yesterday. Exactly. I'll tell you what, man, it was cold out there last

00:05:54.380 night. It was like, I think it was 18, 19 degrees somewhere in there. And it was so cold, but me and

00:05:59.940 my son were both out there. My oldest, it was awesome. Yeah. There's just something about being

00:06:04.860 out there. It's dark. It's not well lit. It's cold. And every time you pick up a bar, the dumbbell

00:06:12.780 or the hollow balls, AKA center mass bells, which is what they're really called. I call them hollow balls.

00:06:17.680 Uh, your hands just freeze. It's cold, but it makes it better. It makes the workout better 0.94

00:06:24.920 to me. It's like, it counts more cause it's more miserable. Yeah. You're forced to put

00:06:29.580 in extra reps to heat your hand up enough. So you can actually remove your hand from the

00:06:33.740 metal without it ripping your skin off. No doubt. No doubt. That's funny. No, that was

00:06:40.140 good. We have a good time. Cool. All right, Matt. So we got questions from the iron council

00:06:44.680 today, uh, to learn more about the iron council, go to order of man.com slash iron

00:06:49.120 council. Our first question, Phil Derner, um, team lead, I believe, uh, within the IC,

00:06:54.700 he says, how much leeway do you give yourself on your battle plans through the day, days,

00:07:01.380 weeks, and month of the holiday season in terms of balancing meaningful work and the

00:07:05.980 demand for increased family time?

00:07:08.020 Family time should actually be part of your battle plan. Like your battle plan isn't one

00:07:14.780 dimensional. Yeah. Like I'm going to work. I'm going to make this much money. I'm going

00:07:18.460 to put in these many hours. Okay. That's 25% of your battle plan. What about the other

00:07:23.720 75%? So how much leeway do I give myself? None, zero, none. Yeah. Because family time is

00:07:29.840 built into it. Personal time is built into it. Money and finance is built into it. Physical

00:07:35.400 fitness is built into it. So it's a well-rounded plan. Can you imagine going into battle and you

00:07:41.180 just are so hyper-focused on one element of that battle? And then you forget your flanks and you

00:07:46.480 forget your, your to cover your six. Like you forget all of these other dynamics that could

00:07:51.460 potentially happen, but you think it's a good battle plan because you know how to advance on

00:07:56.020 the enemy. Like that's part, that's good. That's important. It's only part of it. So I don't give

00:08:01.560 myself any leeway during the Christmas. I don't give myself any, any leeway on the weekends.

00:08:08.580 That's all, it's all built into the plan. So relaxing, recovering, recharging, all of that

00:08:16.600 is built into it. Spending time with family, being engaged with the community, giving back,

00:08:21.020 serving, it's all built into the plan. And it's a well-rounded approach as opposed to a singular

00:08:25.520 one-dimensional approach. So as an example, you have a morning workout that's, you know,

00:08:33.000 hour and a half and family's in town and your day's going to be packed with family events and

00:08:40.540 other things. What, how do you handle that workout? Just go work out. Most of your family's

00:08:46.500 going to be sleeping anyways. That's true. Or wake out or you'd even wake up early if you needed to,

00:08:53.760 right? Like I'm going to go to the gym earlier. If I had my family over 90% of them would be

00:08:59.680 sleeping in and thinking that this was a time to relax. And who am I to judge? Like they can do

00:09:04.000 what they want, but I'm going to go do my workout or I'm going to go to jujitsu. You know, we had family

00:09:09.000 members over here. We had, um, uh, my wife's sister, uh, about, uh, three weeks ago over didn't 0.57

00:09:15.980 change my schedule. I guess I was still went to jujitsu. I still trained. I still did my work.

00:09:21.220 Now I, I adjusted them, right. You know, I changed the time or I did this a little differently because

00:09:25.740 we're going to go to dinner one night or do this activity one evening or one morning. So you,

00:09:29.640 you change it, you adjust, but everything still gets accomplished. That's not an excuse not to get it

00:09:34.600 done or invite your family. Like if I had all my family over or my wife's family, like my brother

00:09:39.820 in law's brothers in law, I think is how it said. Uh, if I invited them to go train, like a couple

00:09:47.900 of them will take me up on that offer and go do it. And we'd go do it together. We'd have a good time

00:09:50.800 and it'd be fine. So go get it done. Yeah. I love that. In fact, we numerous times when we go to the

00:09:59.000 lake during the summer and, and I didn't want to miss a workout and neither did Asia. So we brought,

00:10:05.220 we brought our like resistance bands. We set up stations across the grass. We woke up all the kids

00:10:11.580 and they're like, all right, before breakfast, we're working out. Yeah. And we just made every,

00:10:16.400 all of these kids, all our cousins and you know, nieces and nephews and did a massive family workout

00:10:22.440 together. And it was, were they better off better? Oh yeah, they were. Yeah. Of course better for

00:10:26.640 everybody. Yeah. Uh, I just got a memory pop up on Facebook today. Three years ago, I was with my

00:10:32.560 family in Hawaii for Christmas. It was either two or three years ago. And so we were, yeah,

00:10:38.060 we're on the big Island. So we're there for about, uh, three and a half weeks. Like we just spent all

00:10:43.500 the holidays, Christmas, new years, we spent it all out there. And the memory that popped up on my feed

00:10:48.040 was, uh, me doing 100 burpees for time. Cause I still wanted to get my workouts in, but I didn't have

00:10:54.820 the gym or I didn't have access to the things that I had at the time. So you just make do and you do

00:10:58.920 a hundred burpees for time. And it took me, you know, 10 minutes or whatever it was, maybe a little

00:11:03.320 longer, 10, 11 minutes, somewhere in there. And you're done like no leeway, just adjust where you

00:11:10.680 need to. Yeah. Rub it. All right. Rob Phipps. How do you deal with feelings of being stuck in almost

00:11:18.540 codependence? When your significant other is way more worried about COVID than you are.

00:11:24.140 Therefore it puts limitations on the activities you can do because you end up triggering their fears

00:11:29.400 and increasing their exposure level past what they are comfortable with. An example of that would be

00:11:34.920 Brazilian jujitsu. For instance, this is a great question, by the way, this is a really good

00:11:38.940 question. Yeah. Cause I know a lot of guys are in this boat. Um, you know, it'd be easy to say,

00:11:42.680 we'll just go do it. Right. But obviously she has a say in the matter and you agreed at some point

00:11:47.280 to band with her and to take her perspective and feelings and desires into consideration. That's

00:11:53.800 why you guys were married. So I would have some serious talks about the boundaries that both you

00:11:59.020 and her have. And then I would set some, uh, I would compromise, you know, I'd, I'd come to some

00:12:05.600 middle ground on some of these things. Uh, so there would be some sacrifices that I would make

00:12:10.580 because I respect and honor her truthfully, you know, if I respect and honor her. So if she doesn't

00:12:16.380 want me to do that, you know, within, within reason and within our boundaries and the things

00:12:19.700 that we've discussed, I would honor that commitment and I would expect her to do the

00:12:23.460 same thing. So, uh, she doesn't want me to train jujitsu. I'm trying to think about that example

00:12:29.780 specifically. Screw that. I mean, if she was adamant about it, what, what I might do is I might say,

00:12:38.900 well, what if I trained, you know, with these two to three guys who I knew were local and they

00:12:45.200 weren't traveling a lot and they were here and they were concerned about this as well. And so

00:12:50.040 I might find a couple of training partners where she felt comfortable with that,

00:12:54.720 but I don't think I would shut it down altogether. I would just come up with some compromises. I mean,

00:13:00.240 that's a tough one, man. That really is a tough question. My wife and I are actually pretty much

00:13:05.220 on the same page when it comes to COVID. So that's good. I think you just be safe. You just come up with

00:13:12.400 a compromise. You establish boundaries. You honor her boundaries that she has and you collectively

00:13:17.940 work towards, towards a solution. Yeah. Yeah. I wish it was a clear cut answer. Well, and I think

00:13:23.800 that's made possible, right? Because you and your wife are not, I mean, you're, you're realizing you're,

00:13:31.240 you have some humanity, right? So you're like being thoughtful of her considerations. You understand

00:13:36.620 maybe her considerations. She's understanding yours. Like, like you guys are just, does it make sense?

00:13:43.860 Like you're, you're, you're limited to the quick judgments that we might all of a sudden have in

00:13:49.300 certain circumstances. You're like, she's wrong. I'm right. Well, let go of that idea and just maybe

00:13:54.840 consider the idea that where, where's her concerns coming from? Is it coming from a place of caring?

00:14:00.280 Yeah, sure. Okay. Well, you can't get mad at that. Right. So now have a conversation with that in

00:14:05.960 mind versus just shutting off things because it's right or wrong. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think,

00:14:12.520 I think there's just some boundaries that need to be established and you need to have these

00:14:15.740 conversations. You need to discuss, you need to find the middle ground. You need to, like you said,

00:14:19.880 to your point about understanding her concerns and what they are, because maybe she has some specific

00:14:25.600 concerns that you haven't exactly uncovered. But if you did, then that would actually allow you to do

00:14:31.240 what it is you want, because it really wouldn't address those issues. I know I'm just speaking

00:14:36.200 generally, but maybe there's just some lost in translation type stuff going on here where you

00:14:42.220 think she wants you to shut everything down. And actually she's just worried about this one thing,

00:14:46.840 like going to the gym. Maybe she doesn't want you to go to the gym. Okay. Well, so maybe you get some

00:14:52.380 weights for the home, right? And you, you start building out your home gym so you can still do

00:14:55.840 your exercises, which is what you want. And she can feel comfortable knowing that you're not at the

00:15:00.860 gym. I think there's, I think there's opportunities to come up with creative solutions for this one. 1.00

00:15:05.540 I really do. Yeah, for sure. Mike Denman, how important, how important have aha moments been to

00:15:14.060 your life? Have there been a lot of aha moments that accelerated your trajectory towards where you are now

00:15:21.520 or where you want to be, or has your life been more plotting along with only a few moments that

00:15:27.520 have changed your course towards a better trajectory? Yeah, I would say the latter. I don't,

00:15:33.520 I don't think there's these big grand aha moments where everything completely changes. I think there's

00:15:40.200 intermittent, there's instrumental changes in circumstances that would cause you to think

00:15:46.700 differently. But I've also had changes like that where I haven't recognized that this is an

00:15:50.500 opportunity for growth. So it's really your perception of it. So the aha moments, not so much

00:15:58.700 as much as it's just compounding little lessons, little things that I've learned along the way.

00:16:04.260 You do them enough, you stack them together and you realize, oh, that was actually a pivotal moment

00:16:09.320 for me. You know, for example, when my wife and I went through our separation, that wasn't an aha moment.

00:16:15.700 Now I had a moment and I've talked about it at length where I remember thinking to myself,

00:16:20.620 this marriage is over. And my goal at this point is just to become the best catch for the next woman 1.00

00:16:25.700 to come into my life. That was my thought. I guess technically you could probably call that an aha 0.87

00:16:31.940 moment, but I could have very easily done nothing with that. It could have very easily gone a completely

00:16:38.240 different route and it could have hindered me rather than helped me. So it's our perception of the

00:16:43.040 experiences that we have. I kind of feel this way when people ask questions like, what's the one

00:16:48.320 thing you should do to improve your business. And I can appreciate the desire to know what that is,

00:16:54.360 but it's never just one thing. It's a collection of a bunch of little things. And if we're always

00:16:59.660 looking for that home run, then we might just overlook something simple, like working out every day

00:17:07.020 or reading a book every day, or trying to look for the lesson from everybody. And people say,

00:17:12.800 who's the most inspirational guest that you've had on? They all are like, yes, there's more,

00:17:18.100 I guess there's some guys that maybe resonated with me more, but there's other ones where I didn't feel

00:17:23.720 like it was necessarily a great podcast, but they said one thing that I was like, man, that was super

00:17:30.000 impactful. And that could actually meant more to my life than the guy who, you know, I've looked up to

00:17:35.420 for 10 years and I finally have the opportunity to talk with him. So I think we, as human beings

00:17:40.220 are constantly striving and looking for that like next big thing. And it's like, just come back and

00:17:46.660 look for what's present in the moment. You being engaged, you reading every day, you training your

00:17:51.900 body every day, you, you leading effectively, you looking for lessons, documenting it, journaling it,

00:17:57.880 going through your battle plan. It's not sexy. That's the problem is everybody has these stupid

00:18:03.360 little devices that I say stupid. They're amazing. We wouldn't be connected if we didn't have these 1.00

00:18:08.180 devices, but also the trap is that we're looking for the bigger and the better and the grand and

00:18:16.020 the sexy and the things that everybody else are doing. And maybe just watching a movie with your

00:18:20.620 family is actually the most important thing you should be doing right now. But that isn't sexy.

00:18:24.860 That's not Instagram worthy, but that's what we measure it against. Like, can I Instagram this?

00:18:31.100 No, you can't, but it was the most meaningful thing you could have probably done at, at any given

00:18:35.720 point. So stack them together. I think he said, trudge along or something like that. Just be

00:18:41.980 consistent, do the little things plotting along, do the little things very, very well, ruthlessly

00:18:47.380 consistent. And you'll find more quote unquote aha moments in your life. Yeah. And it sounds based on

00:18:56.320 what you said that you, you also define those aha moments based upon what you do, right? You may have

00:19:02.700 a mental breakthrough and go, Oh man, this is amazing concept. But if you do nothing with it,

00:19:07.280 it is an aha moment. No. Right. Cause it didn't, it didn't change. It didn't pivot. You didn't become

00:19:14.000 better. So now it was just an idea that was fleeting and that you never acted upon. Well, and they're all,

00:19:20.200 they're all relative to your own personal life. So let's take it, let's take it to jujitsu. We always like

00:19:24.520 to go there. So the other day I was training and Pete was giving us some instruction and we were

00:19:30.000 talking about the Kimura from side control. And he, he said one thing that I never realized,

00:19:38.140 and maybe somebody is going to hear this. Somebody has been training, maybe you and you are going to

00:19:41.900 hear this. Somebody has been training for a long time and think, obviously, duh, you didn't know that.

00:19:45.620 And he said, when you get them in the Kimura and the side control, ideally you want to get that,

00:19:50.000 that leg, that, that top leg. If you can step over their head with it, then that's how you're

00:19:56.760 going to sink that in and tighten it down. And I'm like, I never realized that every time I went

00:20:02.380 for a Kimura guys like sat out of it or they sat up, like they were able to fight out of it a little 0.64

00:20:07.080 bit. That was that one little thing. I'm like, Oh man, I didn't even know that, you know? So a bunch

00:20:15.900 of other people could have probably heard that and they're like, yeah, that's not special because

00:20:19.700 they already knew it. And it wasn't an aha moment for them, but it was an aha moment for me. So

00:20:23.960 we have to look at our own individual circumstances and where we are on, on the, on the path and on the

00:20:30.200 journey in different areas and realize that, you know, if it's one little thing that you hear that

00:20:35.620 changes the game, it's all you need, man. And it's not going to be sexy or grand to anybody else,

00:20:41.020 but it could be meaningful to you. Yeah. And what I love about that is at least for me,

00:20:47.460 I've heard certain things and I wasn't ready for them. We've talked about this, right? Yeah. I'm not

00:20:53.220 ready for it. And so it didn't make sense. Like it wasn't an aha moment. Why? Cause I wasn't ready

00:20:57.960 to receive it. You know, like I, you know, I, I remember I was down in Phoenix training with a mega 10

00:21:05.600 mega ton Diaz and we're going over a Camorra just cause this is on my mind. And he was like,

00:21:12.040 make sure that it's in a 90 degree, not here, not here, 90 degree, exactly 90 degrees.

00:21:19.120 I've heard that before, but I wasn't in my, in my progression of jujitsu in a way where that

00:21:25.240 mattered. And then he's told me that. And I thought, Holy crap. Like that's groundbreaking.

00:21:30.640 Right. I've heard it, but it wasn't, I didn't even hear it. Like, how's this? It's been told

00:21:36.580 to me, but I never heard it. Cause I didn't see you heard it. You heard it, but you weren't

00:21:42.060 listening for it. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And there's other things in life too, where,

00:21:48.140 so somebody could have told you, let's take the Camorra. For example, somebody could have taught

00:21:53.300 you the Camorra and you could have heard all the instruction and you received it and then you

00:21:57.440 practiced it and you implemented it. And then the next time you go to a very basic

00:22:01.200 jujitsu training session, they teach you the Camorra and a lot of guys will just, Oh, I know it

00:22:07.260 all. I don't, I already know that move. Yeah. Right. But then you, but you go to this basic thing that

00:22:12.900 you should already know and that you feel comfortable with and you hear something. And it was actually the

00:22:17.120 same thing you heard before, but you heard it differently because your space in life changed

00:22:23.060 relative to what was being told. So like, I've heard things before. I'm like, I've heard that

00:22:28.640 before. I've, I've read that in a book or I've watched that on a video or listened to a podcast.

00:22:32.540 And so-and-so said that. And then somebody else says the same thing a year later. I'm like,

00:22:36.940 Oh yeah, because I'm in a different place and I can see things differently. So it's all relative.

00:22:45.360 Yeah. And it's so applicable to books. We read to relationships, the information we consume. I

00:22:53.140 mean, I even think, you know, sometimes we use analogy or, or one of the shirts that, that,

00:22:57.660 that we have in the store is iron sharpens iron. That's meant so many different things to me

00:23:04.180 over the years or being a lighthouse. What does that really mean? That has evolved so much over the

00:23:11.280 years. And it was impossible to see how I see it today without the experiences of life.

00:23:18.620 Yeah. There's other, there's one other factor that we'll drive on from this question. And it's

00:23:23.780 your receptiveness. You know, your, your receptiveness to the lessons that life will

00:23:28.480 teach you is very, very important. And so many people are completely closed off either subconsciously

00:23:34.180 or consciously. Maybe it's arrogance, maybe it's pride and ego. I don't need that. I've already got

00:23:39.860 that figured out, but I'm telling you, if you can just be receptive, that's actually one thing

00:23:44.220 that's greatly enhanced. My ability to be an effective podcaster is just receptive to what

00:23:48.820 another individual is saying. Like, let me just entertain that for a minute. Let me just explore

00:23:53.520 that. And that doesn't mean that I think they're a hundred percent right, or that I agree a hundred

00:23:57.360 percent on what my guests say, but at least I'm willing to accept it and then question it and let it

00:24:02.320 bounce around in my brain for a little while to see, Oh, is this actually something that is

00:24:07.940 relevant or that could improve my life? And sometimes I find out that it is. And sometimes

00:24:12.880 I determine that it isn't, but your receptiveness to lessons, to aha moments, to things that people

00:24:20.520 can teach you is a very valuable skill to learn. It's all wrapped up. I think in the, in the bow

00:24:26.620 of curiosity, are you curious about what you can extract from this situation that will help you be

00:24:33.680 a better man? Yeah, totally. I have to mention one more thing that's relevant to this. If you don't

00:24:38.940 mind is, and, and see how that relates to our relationships with our spouses and with our

00:24:45.140 children, like to really be curious and understand them. And I think it's the people that we love most

00:24:51.760 that we have a tendency to, to put them in that box and we stop listening. We stop learning from them.

00:24:57.540 We stop being curious about them and we immediately like close them off and kind of box them up.

00:25:04.920 And, and I think it's detrimental to our relationships because we, we stop seeing how

00:25:09.100 they're growing. I mean, you're not the same person you were five years ago. Well, probably the same

00:25:13.400 thing with your wife, probably the same thing with your kids. And if we're not actively curious

00:25:19.520 and accepting or trying to understand them, then there's a huge amount of a relationship that's

00:25:25.280 going to be burdened due to our inability or unwillingness to do so.

00:25:29.680 Well, and you limit yourself on your ability to lead effectively. So a great example of this

00:25:34.380 in a relationship context, not romantically, but with your children, my second son, he loves Lego.

00:25:41.580 He loves getting on the iPad and playing this cars racing game. And he has all the cars and he has his

00:25:47.240 garage and everything. And I could easily dismiss this and write it off as, Oh, he just likes video games.

00:25:52.100 No, that's not what it is. I mean, yes, he likes the video game for sure.

00:25:56.180 Yeah.

00:25:56.400 But why does he like that? Oh, he likes cars. Why does he like cars? He's fascinated with the

00:26:02.380 process of a machine that can actually go 250 miles an hour. And so I see him and I watch him and I'm

00:26:10.160 very curious about why he likes the things that he does. He likes battle bots is another things that

00:26:15.000 he's into because he's fascinated with building machine and has all these little pieces and components

00:26:21.980 that move and turn and spin. And, and then he goes and he, he watches battle bots and then he makes

00:26:28.360 battle bots out of Legos. Like I could write, if I wasn't paying attention, I could write that off is

00:26:33.560 yeah. He just likes to play or he just wants to be entertained. No, that's, it's so much deeper than

00:26:39.900 that. It's more than that. And what that does as a father, that curiosity exploring and going deeper

00:26:46.940 is it gives me the tools that I need to put things in front of him that will foster and nurture his

00:26:56.020 curiosity and the things that he is engaged with. So I don't buy Legos because they're fun. I buy them

00:27:02.320 because he enjoys the process of building, right? I don't battle bots. Like it's we're, we're getting

00:27:10.480 him into that because he enjoys that. And I know that, and that will actually help him be better in his

00:27:15.600 life. So now as a leader, I'm better equipped because I was curious rather than just writing

00:27:20.720 simple interests off as nothing more than hobbies or things they like. Yeah. Yeah. And puts you in a

00:27:29.240 position to have an established, strong relationship with your son that now allows you to teach and

00:27:35.020 communicate in an effective way. Totally. I mean, my wife, she's into beekeeping. This is a new hobby

00:27:40.980 she picked up earlier in the year. And it's not a thing I'm interested in necessarily, but she's

00:27:47.140 interested in it. And so guess what I did? I bought a book. It was like a $20 book. I bought it on Amazon.

00:27:52.260 I heard about it. I'm like, cool. I'll buy that book, bought it, gave it to her. She knows how vested

00:27:58.040 I am in her. Like that makes me more influential in her eyes. It costs me $20 to tell her that I,

00:28:05.820 that I appreciate her, that I'm excited for her, that I'm listening to what you're interested in,

00:28:12.520 that I care about you, that I'm willing to invest in things that she knows I'm not interested,

00:28:17.200 but I'm willing to invest in things you are. And doesn't that garner some sort of influence and

00:28:24.840 credibility and authority in her eyes? Absolutely. So when I speak up about something else,

00:28:29.540 she's much more likely to listen because I did these other things. And I showed that I was

00:28:34.380 genuinely interested in her and her interest, not necessarily how it could serve me.

00:28:40.980 Right. I love it. All right. Dan, uh, DeLario, what's your year in protocol for reviewing your

00:28:49.660 battle plans and determining goals for the next year that will be basis for your battle plan

00:28:54.820 plans, you know, coming this coming year. Do you do any annual after action review? And do you review

00:29:00.320 your 20 year plan? Let's get the things I don't do out of the way first. I don't do a 20 year plan.

00:29:07.060 Like I don't even know I'm going to have for dinner tonight, let alone what I'm going to be doing in

00:29:11.080 20 years. You have no idea. Ryan recommends, do not plan anything. Nothing. Next question.

00:29:17.040 Wing it. Just wing the whole thing. Hey, it's not in your control anyway. It's not in your control

00:29:24.040 anyway. I mean, to me, it just seems like an exercise and frustration and headache and heartache.

00:29:29.540 Yeah. It's better not to commit to something. If there's a chance that you might fail,

00:29:34.500 that's the approach I take. Uh, I don't know about that, but

00:29:40.260 I don't have a 20 year plan because any of people ask me, no, I'm not really.

00:29:48.280 No, you don't even do those. Okay. No, because I'm not going to say there's not value in it, but

00:29:54.620 I don't know what three years is going to be like. I don't like people ask me all the time. What's

00:29:59.200 your goal for order of man? I don't know. I mean, I have goals. Like I want to reach this many

00:30:06.080 downloads and I want to have this many men in the iron council. And I want to have these many people

00:30:11.000 listening to what we're doing. And I want to sell these many shirts or hats. Like I have those

00:30:14.840 tangible set in stone goals, but I don't have like, what's the ultimate direction. I don't know.

00:30:21.920 I don't know because there might be something next year that happens in my life internally or

00:30:26.800 externally where I'm like, I'm not even interested in order of man anymore. Cause I'm on to, I don't

00:30:32.780 foresee that happening, but I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. And there might be something I'm more

00:30:38.520 interested in. So I've got a vision for where I want my life to be. We talk a lot about vision.

00:30:44.220 I have a vision for the kind of man that I want to be. Um, the virtues that are important to me,

00:30:49.900 the, the, the, the principles that, that I hold onto that I think are valuable for me and the people

00:30:56.160 I care about. And then as long as what I'm doing stacks up against those litmus tests, I'm satisfied.

00:31:03.240 And that could be leading order of man. And it could be running for political office, or it could be

00:31:08.220 starting another business. It could be a thousand different things, but as long as it gets me towards

00:31:12.360 that ultimate vision of the type of man that I am. So I don't have a 20 year, I don't have a five

00:31:18.740 year. I don't have a three year. I work in 90 day segments and January 1st, 2021 doesn't, it's not,

00:31:26.960 yes, it's a new year, but it isn't a new planning thing. The only thing to me is it's a new quarter.

00:31:33.200 It's just another quarter.

00:31:34.360 Sure. The planning over the next week or so is the same exact planning that occurred for you

00:31:41.320 three other times earlier this year.

00:31:43.740 Throughout the year, for sure. So January 1st is another quarter. And so how do I review it? I go

00:31:50.380 back and look at what I accomplished in the previous 90 days. And I think about what I want to accomplish

00:31:56.360 in the next 90 days. And I do that. Now that's not to say I'm not thinking about what might happen in

00:32:00.800 six months. You know, for example, we're thinking about events and a potential book in the works

00:32:06.680 that are six months, nine months, 12 months down the road. But then I reverse engineer it back into

00:32:11.480 quarterly segments. Okay. So that's nine months out that event. What do I need to do right now?

00:32:15.600 Well, actually for this event, you don't need to do anything right now. Next quarter. Yeah,

00:32:19.900 you'll have to, but this quarter, you're going to focus on these four things. Next quarter,

00:32:24.120 these four things. I'm telling you that 90 day planning method has worked wonders for me

00:32:30.080 because it's not so far out where I lose interest or I run into a bunch of scenarios that I don't

00:32:35.740 understand. And it's not so short where I can't actually produce measurable and tangible results.

00:32:41.280 It gives me enough time to actually move the needle in a meaningful and significant way.

00:32:46.580 So I, I will review the end of this year in the next week or two, uh, review how this quarter went

00:32:52.980 and I'll adapt and I'll adjust and I'll improve and I'll tweak and I'll make the next quarter better

00:32:58.660 than this one based on what I accomplished and what I didn't accomplish this quarter.

00:33:02.820 Yeah. Cool. All right, Chris, uh, uh, Grettony and off the wall question. My dad texted me and he

00:33:13.420 asked, does order of man, uh, have a nonprofit, uh, is order of man, a nonprofit for donations for the

00:33:20.820 end of the year? Is order of man, a nonprofit? It's has a nonprofit equivalent. Yeah. No.

00:33:30.480 I was thinking about this because I see where he's coming from, right? Like maybe he works for a

00:33:36.460 company or him himself wants to have some donations kind of wrapped up before the end of the year.

00:33:41.820 He's bought into the cause of what order man's about.

00:33:44.460 Yeah. I mean, I could consider that I've never made any qualms. It is, it's interesting. I'm not

00:33:51.600 that interested in doing it. I would say just find something locally that, that would support

00:33:56.900 something like we would do. So for example, sponsor a youth sports team like that, that's something I

00:34:03.660 would donate to. That's something I have donated to, you know, pick up a team and give them a thousand

00:34:08.340 bucks and get them all jerseys and uniforms and sponsor their, their training or have, you know,

00:34:14.940 send them somewhere for like an, a camp, like a, a hitting camp or something, you know, something.

00:34:20.220 I'm just trying to think kind of out loud here. If you want to make a donation, find something in

00:34:25.200 your local area that's serving the, the, the local community and, and do that. If you want to support

00:34:33.360 what we're doing, then buy our products. Yeah. And then if you want to be gracious, then donate

00:34:39.960 them somewhere else. Like I had a guy, exactly. Here's a, here's an example. I had a guy reach out

00:34:44.520 a couple of weeks ago and I don't exactly know the ramifications of what he's doing, but he's got

00:34:49.880 about 50 youth that he's helping with mentoring and guidance and coaching. I don't know the exact

00:34:56.680 details. And he reached out and he says, Hey, I'm thinking about buying 50 of these kids battle

00:35:00.540 planners. Would you be willing to give me a price break on them? Here's what we're doing. I'm like,

00:35:04.180 yeah, I'll give you a price break on those. So I, I dropped them down. I reduced them by,

00:35:09.300 I want to say like 50%, 45, 50%. And I said, you know, here, here's what we could do them for. 0.96

00:35:15.180 Now I want to be charitable. I want to help out where we can. And that was a way for him to give

00:35:19.660 back, but then also support what we're doing here. Right. Cause we have the income to continue to grow

00:35:24.240 the movement and expand it. I have no problem at all being a business. There's no,

00:35:30.300 there's nothing in my mind that says maybe I'm taking advantage of people. There's never been

00:35:35.640 a thing where I'm like, Oh, I should just do this out of the goodness of my heart and not make income.

00:35:40.000 That has just never been an issue for me. I know it is an issue for a lot of people.

00:35:44.020 I want to make as much money as possible. I want to charge as much as we possibly can for our goods

00:35:49.620 and services. And I want people to make a decision as to whether or not what we offer is valuable to

00:35:55.180 them. And then we do a voluntary exchange. That's where I'm at. And that serves me.

00:36:00.220 That serves my family. That serves the people who are listening. That serves the people who buy our

00:36:04.100 products and goods and services. And to me, there's nothing immoral or wrong with that at all.

00:36:10.920 So if you're looking for deductions, find a local place. If you want to support what we're doing here,

00:36:17.960 yes, you could donate, I guess, or you could buy something and have it or donate that to somebody else.

00:36:24.340 Yeah. Yeah. Which could be easy, like, you know, buy numerous copies of sovereignty and hand those

00:36:31.720 out, right? Like that's supporting the movement, passing the word. I mean, it's yeah, totally great

00:36:36.820 way. Yep. In fact, we have a, we have a gentleman who just bought, I want to say either about 10 or 20

00:36:42.100 books. We ran out in our store, but he bought them on Amazon. And I said, if you, if you buy them and

00:36:47.800 have them shipped to me, I will sign all of them and I will mail them back to you. I, at my cost,

00:36:52.980 like, I'll just mail them back to you. I'll eat the shipping and then you'll have the copies. So

00:36:56.780 I think those should be here in the next couple of days and I'll sign them. And that's like,

00:37:01.080 that's a good way that that's valuable to everybody. It serves everyone involved.

00:37:05.980 Yeah. You guys looking for, for books, it sounds like books are sold out, but other equipment

00:37:11.540 that's a store.orderofman.com. Yeah. All right. James Sherman. I am finally about to move out on my

00:37:17.980 own as a single father. I'll be across the country from any family or support network,

00:37:23.480 which I'm already, which I am ready to take on. My daughter may take this harder. She's three and

00:37:29.620 she's very connected to her grandparents and uncles. How was moving across the country with

00:37:34.260 your kids? Is there any wisdom you can offer to make this transition easier for my daughter

00:37:38.620 being away from family besides zoom? Yeah. I think maybe kids are resilient. A three-year-old,

00:37:49.520 three-year-olds are resilient. I can't remember this. Yeah. I mean, she's going to miss talking

00:37:54.580 with her grandparents, of course, you know, or seeing them, but they're way more resilient than I

00:38:00.820 think. I think you're letting on here or assuming they will be, you know, I've got a 12 year old,

00:38:06.320 a nine-year-old, a six-year-old and a four-year-old and yeah, they missed their friends, but so what?

00:38:13.900 Like the things that we've been, that we've been doing and we've been doing it together and we've

00:38:18.560 been having fun and we've been keeping them engaged. And we've, to our point earlier, been

00:38:23.100 curious about what they're interested in so we can navigate them towards what they'd be interested in.

00:38:28.340 It's just less and less relevant. So I don't, I don't think this is an issue. I'm really trying

00:38:34.500 not to be dismissive of your concerns because I know how concerning that can be, but I think

00:38:39.400 you're reading into it. I think you're maybe blowing it up a little bit more than it, than

00:38:44.400 it will be. I don't know if you have other kids, but it's going to be good. It's, it's going to be

00:38:49.320 good. Like you're obviously aware of it. You obviously want to make sure your, your daughter

00:38:54.480 or your kids are taken care of, that their needs are met. You're good, man. You're good.

00:39:00.020 Have a plan, roll with the punches. That'll happen. Be engaged, be present, be curious about

00:39:06.540 what they're interested in. Navigate those waters for them. All is good. I promise all is good.

00:39:13.140 It's going to be okay. It really is. All right. Philip Capadora, given the condition of our

00:39:20.640 educational system, do you hold on? I got to go back to something. I got to go back. I'm sorry. I

00:39:25.120 didn't, I don't want to interrupt you, but I, but I want to go back to this because I'm, I'm just

00:39:28.660 trying to think of his position. You know, it's a scary thing, right? It's, it's, there's a lot of

00:39:33.320 risk in this. And, and I think what people will do is they'll assume men, I think high achieving men

00:39:40.120 generally will do this is they assume that if they're not like hyper proactive towards the thing,

00:39:47.860 then they're not moving the needle. So for example, you know, I've really been on making sure that I get

00:39:55.840 my diet and my nutrition and my fitness locked in the problem that I've been having is that I can't

00:40:02.240 work out 10 hours a day. I can work out an hour a day. And then when I eat, I, I eat healthy and I

00:40:12.080 drink water, but that's like three times a day. So the rest of the day, the other eight hours of the

00:40:18.520 day, I feel like I'm not doing anything. Like if like, I feel like I'm not actually moving the needle.

00:40:25.000 Like I gotta be working out. I gotta be doing this. No, you, you actually don't need to be

00:40:28.780 doing that. Sometimes you just doing other things is the right course of action. It's prudent. And so

00:40:35.580 I think this might be what he's running against right now, you know, where it's like, well, I gotta

00:40:40.120 be doing, I mean, there has to be something, there has to be a plan. Like there has to be strategy.

00:40:43.400 There has to be tips and insights and all this stuff. Like there has to be something.

00:40:47.900 Sometimes there just isn't something and that's okay. Every minute doesn't need to be planned out.

00:40:54.160 Every strategy doesn't need to be considered. Sometimes it's just you being present. And you

00:41:00.060 know, like your daughter wants to do a puzzle. So do a puzzle and you might not feel like,

00:41:05.220 oh, I'm being a good dad and I'm engaged in her education. I'm moving her on the right track.

00:41:10.260 It's a freaking puzzle. She just wants you to be there and play with her. That's it. 0.91

00:41:14.320 My daughter, the other day I was walking by and she said, Hey dad, I like this song. And she had this

00:41:18.520 song on. And I said, yeah, it's a, it's a good song. It probably wasn't a good song, but I said,

00:41:22.400 that's good. You like it. And she's like, will you dance with me? And my knee jerk reaction was

00:41:27.480 like, I don't want to dance. I got work to do. I got things to do. I want to dance. And I almost

00:41:34.260 said no. And I was like, no, you know what? She wants me to dance. So let's dance. So we danced in

00:41:40.100 a room for eight minutes. And I'm like, all right, thanks for the dance. And I went about my day and

00:41:46.500 her life was enriched and my life was enriched. And it wasn't like in the strategy necessarily,

00:41:51.300 but it was good. I think that's what he's running against right here.

00:41:57.500 Yeah. Hmm. All right. Phillip Capadora, given the condition of our educational system,

00:42:03.800 do you think that the financial success in today's workplace is or will be higher for women since

00:42:09.840 they score higher in English, math, and sciences on average before graduating high school than men do?

00:42:16.000 If so, how can boys be educated more effectively to ensure being the chief provider to their

00:42:21.860 marriages and community? Well, I don't, I don't know if I, I don't know the data on that. I don't

00:42:29.300 know. I mean, maybe that's true. Maybe it isn't as far as scoring higher on tests or whatever, but I

00:42:34.420 actually don't think that's necessarily the greatest indicator of wealth and income and financial

00:42:41.360 prosperity. I mean, I think maybe that's becoming less and less relevant. Like I'm not the smartest

00:42:48.880 person in the room. I have a high school degree. I went to half a semester of college before I dropped

00:42:54.300 out and lost my academic scholarship. Like I'm an intelligent person, but I didn't score any better

00:42:59.520 than anybody else on any math test or aptitude test. You know, like the, as the military as VAP test got me

00:43:05.520 to the point where I'm like, okay, that job looks good, but it wasn't like, like genius level. So I'm

00:43:10.900 not sure your grades are a great indicator of what you're going to do financially. I think there's a

00:43:16.300 lot more to it. Yes. Intelligence is certainly an indicator, but we also know that delayed gratification

00:43:22.580 is a great indicator of ultimate success and grit and creativity. And so many things that can't

00:43:30.980 necessarily be quantified very easily, like a test score can. And I think what we're going to see more

00:43:37.340 and more is we're going to see that these worthless college degrees. And listen to me when I say that

00:43:43.060 I'm not saying that every college degree is worthless. Okay. That's not what I'm saying.

00:43:48.840 What I'm saying is that there are some college degrees that are worthless, not all of them. So if you

00:43:54.460 have to go to 10 years of college to be a doctor, I understand. And I think you should do that

00:43:58.860 or a lawyer or a scientist or a mathematician or whatever. If, if, if the degree or if the,

00:44:06.420 the job requires it, then go that route, but there's no course or degree that I could have taken

00:44:14.840 that, that would have helped me be a better podcaster necessarily. You know, like, like,

00:44:21.520 where's the podcasting bachelor's degree? I don't, I don't, maybe there is one. I don't think there's

00:44:25.900 one. Now, certainly there's things I could have learned that would help me, but I could have

00:44:30.120 learned that somewhere else too. So how do we teach boys? See the school system, read a couple of

00:44:35.220 books. And I know you're familiar with this, the boy crap boy crisis by Dr. Warren Farrell. 0.97

00:44:42.380 Why gender matters by Dr. Leonard Sachs boys adrift also by Dr. Leonard Sachs. Those are three books 0.70

00:44:48.180 that would be very good. And the assertion they make in those books is that this part of it anyways,

00:44:52.380 is that the school system is stacked against young men, that it's not conducive to the way that young

00:44:58.300 men learn. And that's why we are seeing women who are going to do better in these environments,

00:45:04.480 because it's, it's, it's catered to their learning style, but a boy generally speaking needs to go out

00:45:11.860 and he needs to be involved in experiential learning. So I think what would be significantly

00:45:16.980 more valuable generally for men is apprentice type programs where you go work with an electrician

00:45:24.360 and he teaches you on the job training. You go work with and do an internship with these

00:45:31.600 businesses and careers that you're interested in and you're learning and you're earning while you're

00:45:37.380 gaining the experience to improve your skillset. That's where we need to take a lot of this is we need

00:45:43.840 to realize that this college way of doing things, isn't always the most conducive for people

00:45:50.580 generally. And we need to look at individually, how we can, how we can learn, how we do learn what's

00:45:57.380 going to be applicable, what information actually needs to be learned, how we can experience it while

00:46:02.480 we're learning, instead of just reading, you know, a textbook and we need to reconsider the education

00:46:07.580 system. So generally speaking, what is it for, for, I don't think women are going to be teed up

00:46:13.940 anymore for success. I think the people who are going to be successful are the creative ones,

00:46:19.680 the ones who are looking for outlets, the ones who work hard, the ones that are able to delay

00:46:24.000 gratification, male or female doesn't matter. That could be any of us. It doesn't. So, um, now if you

00:46:31.520 want to be a doctor, yeah, you're going to need to, you're going to need to fit into that mold of

00:46:35.560 things. But if you want to own a business like we're doing here or any number of things, then,

00:46:40.760 you know, maybe an alternate way of learning is going to be something that would actually be good

00:46:44.700 for you. And that requires a lot of experiential learning. Yeah. So true. Well, and it's either

00:46:50.900 your example of a doctor, I mean, just even getting the jury doesn't necessarily mean anything,

00:46:55.340 right? Like those are nice, but you still need, you might need that degree, but you still have to

00:47:01.480 work. You still have to have, of course, you know, all these other capabilities that

00:47:05.720 delayed gratification. Yeah. I mean, think about a doctor that goes to school for 10 years. That's

00:47:11.280 if that's not delayed gratification, I don't know what is. Yeah. And they're racking up, you know,

00:47:16.760 half a million dollars in student loan debts, hoping and praying that at one point at someday,

00:47:21.500 this will, this will pay off. That's a lot of risk. That's a healthy dose of risk. That's also a

00:47:27.220 healthy dose of believing in yourself. Holy cow. Yeah. And so there's more than just the education

00:47:31.720 paid off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's more than just the, the knowledge. Yeah. All right. Blake

00:47:38.720 Gann, what tools or techniques do you use? Do you use or suggest for managing your time?

00:47:47.580 I really only use two tools for managing my time. I use my daily battle planner. So in there,

00:47:54.560 I list out everything I need to get done for the day. And then I put a, like a vertical,

00:48:00.820 excuse me, a diagonal line in it when I start it. And then I exit out when I finish it when you're

00:48:06.620 done. And then if I have something that wasn't finished, that was either started or even not

00:48:11.840 started for a day that I didn't get done by that day, I roll it over to the next day. And in this,

00:48:16.520 it's a weekly planner. So it just stays on there. And then I have my schedule for certain things,

00:48:22.860 whether it's training or working out or activities, date nights with my wife, things like

00:48:28.080 that. And I just use Google calendar for that. That's it. That's all I use. And then I guess

00:48:34.140 my mindset is get your shit done. Yeah. Like you got, you've got stuff to do, get it done. 1.00

00:48:41.440 So those are the three things. You can plan all you want. Yeah. You can plan all you want,

00:48:44.560 but if you're not working your plan, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah. So how, how, so here's my,

00:48:51.120 just to sum it all up, have like the battle planner or something like this. If it's not

00:48:56.540 the battle planner, it doesn't matter, but this is a good tool. So the battle planner that lists

00:49:00.440 out the tasks you need to get done, a calendar to manage your appointments. I also put my phone

00:49:05.600 calls on the calendar. So if I need to call you Kip, for example, that wouldn't be an appointment 0.69

00:49:09.700 necessarily, but I need to call Kip to talk about X, Y, and Z that's on the calendar. And then having

00:49:14.520 the attitude of getting shit done, it's all you need. The one thing that I do that's when you might 0.97

00:49:21.600 do it actually within the planner a little bit, but it's, you know, I do quite a bit of things

00:49:26.440 around this space, but, but I'll give you a nugget that I has found highly valuable is,

00:49:32.500 and I think it's for Stephen Covey, Covey did this in seven habits of highly effective people,

00:49:36.960 but he would maintain what he called a master list. And what that master list was is like anything

00:49:44.060 that comes to mind. And this happens to me all the time where I don't, I doesn't need to get done

00:49:49.700 today. I'm not sure. It doesn't necessarily need to be done on Thursday or Friday, but it's something

00:49:54.860 that needs to get done. And I need somewhere to document that. And so he used what he called a

00:50:01.220 master list and you would add to that master task list. And then when you do your, like your weekly

00:50:06.520 planning or your daily review, you'd look over that master list and go, Oh, okay, do I,

00:50:11.540 is there anything in here that I can take out and assign to today or a day during the given week?

00:50:17.140 And that has been highly valuable because my mind's constantly going and I get these

00:50:21.540 things that I want to document, but it's not urgent enough to assign it to today.

00:50:26.620 And that that's been a game changer for me in the past.

00:50:30.240 Yeah, I, that's a good point. So you remind me of one thing that I do that I had overlooked,

00:50:35.820 so in my phone, I have my note planning app and I just have different notes. Uh, so for example,

00:50:44.700 I'll go through a few of them. Uh, one note is group posts. So these might be social media posts

00:50:52.280 that I want to make. Maybe I think of something. I'm like, Oh, that actually is like topics.

00:50:55.940 Yeah. It's just ideas. You know, like for example, here's all my ideas for posts. Like, you know,

00:51:02.280 as I see a billboard or have a conversation with somebody, I'm like, Oh, that actually would make

00:51:06.760 a very interesting thing to talk about in the Facebook group or on social media, uh, Friday

00:51:11.820 field notes. So if you're listening to the podcast, you know, Friday field notes, every Friday, we have

00:51:16.880 a show. It's me just talking about an idea. Well, there's a list of, of potential ideas. It's not

00:51:22.240 like I'm just pulling things out of my ass. Like this is stuff that I've written down. I've 0.99

00:51:25.760 documented. I'm like, Oh, that would be interesting to talk about. Uh, what's another one here? Um,

00:51:32.840 podcast guests, t-shirt ideas, merchandise ideas. Um, even things that we need to talk about on our

00:51:43.140 council leadership call. I'll write them here. In fact, you and I, uh, identified something we need

00:51:49.160 to address on Thursday. So I wrote it on this piece of paper. Cause that's what I had in front

00:51:53.620 of me, but this, this will go here and then I'll have it documented. Um, yeah. So, you know,

00:52:00.320 I've got a bunch of monthly topics for the iron council. Like I've got just list after list after

00:52:04.580 list. And then as I think about things, I write them in the appropriate list because you're right.

00:52:09.580 It's not a to do necessarily, but it's something that at some point you'll want to address. And it's

00:52:13.920 all just right here documented in one centralized location. Yeah. Cool. All right. Mr. Gatchgo,

00:52:21.300 Chris, what are your holiday traditions? Were there, were they passed down from generations?

00:52:27.100 Did you create any specific that you hope get passed on?

00:52:33.460 Um, no, I don't really, I don't really have any traditions. He doesn't like Christmas.

00:52:38.000 It usually offends him. So he, he skips it. Yeah. Um, I mean, nothing, nobody else at anybody else

00:52:45.540 does. Like we watch Christmas movies. Um, we like die hard. I think everybody does that. Right.

00:52:53.340 Um, well, actually one thing we do is we cut a Christmas tree down every year, me and the boys.

00:52:57.880 So that's something we do. That's fun.

00:52:59.740 Go. Yeah. Go to the woods and get a tree, a tree like legit. Yeah. I mean, in this case we go into

00:53:05.560 our yard, which is kind of nice, but that's changed over the past couple of years. Yeah. Um,

00:53:14.000 yeah. I mean, outside of that, I think it's like, we do the same thing everybody else does. You know,

00:53:18.040 you, maybe you open one gift the night before before. Yeah. Matching pajamas. You know,

00:53:25.220 we, we do have a list of Christmas movies and it's, I think there's 28 movies on that list.

00:53:31.200 Kid appropriate. So die hard didn't make the cut because this is for the family, the kids. I know

00:53:35.560 we have our own list. We have the adult version. Then we have the kids version, the family version.

00:53:40.640 I don't want to see the adult list. Yeah. That's not, it's not, we don't disclose that publicly. So

00:53:45.980 you don't have to worry about that. But yeah, we've got the, you know, 28, 29 movies on there that

00:53:50.540 we'll watch for, for the family. Maybe I should share that with you guys. So you have that idea.

00:53:56.160 But my wife got me this really cool thing and it's like a little lumberjack. It's like,

00:54:03.420 I don't know, five or six inches tall. And you like, you can pull his body up. So it's just his

00:54:09.840 legs. And then you can put it back. Like that's where it attaches. So you pull it up and there's

00:54:13.160 this little, it's like, it's incense is what it is, but you just put it on this little metal tray

00:54:18.780 and you light it and then you close the thing and it smokes out of his mouth. So it looks like he's

00:54:24.740 smoking a pipe. It's really cool. Actually. Like that's one of my favorite Christmas things.

00:54:29.260 So, um, you know, like we collect little things like that, that are meaningful that only get

00:54:34.200 brought out at Christmas. That's kind of fun. So yeah, that kind of stuff.

00:54:38.440 Yeah. We, I don't know if we do anything that's really, yeah, we do a, a, a talent show Christmas

00:54:45.860 Eve. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. That's cool. Everyone's expected to showcase a talent. You

00:54:50.940 know what I mean? To go around the room. Yeah. I like Asia. She makes her grandma was from France. 0.65

00:54:57.800 And so they make traditional cookies and desserts every Christmas, all her and her sisters. Um, 1.00

00:55:05.800 and we do what we call snaked. I think I've mentioned it in the past.

00:55:09.560 Snaked kind of, yeah, it's, uh, it's when you run out in the snow, half naked and, uh, the

00:55:16.340 first snowfall of the year. So it seems to be angels and stuff. Yeah. It seems to be oriented

00:55:21.640 towards Christmas. Cause that's usually, you know, or Thanksgiving. Cause that's usually when

00:55:26.560 we're out there, but I don't know. And that's just my way of torturing my children. Really. I'm not

00:55:31.720 sure if it's a, yeah. I mean, you got to have some fun for yourself as a father, for sure.

00:55:35.880 The other thing, one other thing that we've started to do or that we, that we did, and we

00:55:39.940 are going to do more of, we were going to do it this year. We were actually supposed to go to

00:55:43.220 Scotland for Christmas this year, because like I said earlier, two years ago, we went to Hawaii

00:55:47.840 and we were there for about three weeks or so. So every other Christmas, we're going to go on a

00:55:53.280 vacation somewhere. So it was Hawaii. We were, like I said, we're going to go to Scotland.

00:55:57.800 I think we're going to do Scotland next year. Um, and so we're just going to travel and just

00:56:02.960 go experience Christmas somewhere else, you know? So that's, that's kind of fun too.

00:56:07.480 Dude, Scotland, man. That'd be awesome. I haven't been cool. Yeah. Yeah. That in Ireland's like on my

00:56:12.400 short list. Yeah, man. All right. Philip Capadora. Well, the Bible says that he, that finds a wife

00:56:21.020 finds a good thing. My question is what is a wife and I'm not sure as a wife. Yeah. Well,

00:56:29.420 I'm assuming Philip's not really asking what is a wife, but like maybe in this context, why,

00:56:35.120 maybe, why do we feel that's a good thing? So I know that's, uh, what I'm trying to,

00:56:42.160 maybe let's, let's cover it from as many angles as we can. A wife, I think is a woman who you decide 0.99

00:56:47.580 to partner with, to share responsibilities, to share some of the burden of living life, to

00:56:53.840 bring children into this world, to commit and honor to her, her and, and, and, and be with her

00:57:01.620 forever. Uh, and that, that's what a wife is to me. I actually don't think the government should 0.96

00:57:09.620 have any say in the marital process at all. It's not their place. It's not their business. I think

00:57:14.860 it's a decision between two adults, whether or not they, and, and this is actually the way I feel

00:57:20.880 about, um, gay marriage. Like it now, I don't, I don't agree with that personally, but if two 1.00

00:57:29.580 individuals who are gay decide that they want to commit and be married to each other and okay, well, 0.93

00:57:35.000 that's your decision. The government, to me, the government should have, shouldn't have any say

00:57:39.240 of whether that is or is not allowed because it's not their place. It's not their business

00:57:43.260 actually. So we could get off on tangents on that. But again, a wife is again, a woman you could

00:57:49.900 partner with, you band with, you commit to her, you sacrifice, you share the burdens and you commit

00:57:55.940 to walking this life hand in hand together. And you bring children into this world in that union.

00:58:03.160 That's what a wife is to me. Why is it good? Because everything that you're not, she should be 1.00

00:58:10.520 and vice versa. I'm not patient. I'm not empathetic. I'm not always the most kind person

00:58:18.540 or understanding. And these are all things that she is. So I have a hard time understanding her at

00:58:27.000 times. And she has a hard time understanding me, but the perspective gives me something that I could

00:58:31.320 not have on my own. We pull our resources financially, not, not so much financially

00:58:36.920 anymore. Cause we're in, we're in the position, the benefit of me providing financially for the

00:58:42.320 family, but that's hers as much as it is mine. Cause there's other things that she brings to

00:58:47.480 the equation that we've agreed upon that works well for our dynamic. So we pull our resources.

00:58:53.140 We magnify our efforts. It isn't the one plus one equals two. It's like one plus one equals

00:58:58.320 infinity. Like I couldn't do half of what I do or more without having her to support and her to

00:59:07.600 nurture and guide and teach our children and mother them and make our house into a home.

00:59:15.480 So that's a good thing. It also teaches us commitment and discipline and honoring our commitments,

00:59:25.520 even when it's difficult and challenging, it matures us because we have responsibilities and

00:59:31.460 obligations that we would otherwise maybe write off or dismiss. There's a lot of learning that comes

00:59:37.800 from deciding to be married to a woman. Yeah, for sure. One of my favorite things, whenever like a 0.89

00:59:45.080 young couple gets married and we're writing like one of the, you know, congratulation cards,

00:59:50.040 I always write, this will possibly be the most difficult decision and thing that you will ever

00:59:57.940 do in your life. Yeah. And that's normal. So don't make it wrong. Don't assume it's the,

01:00:05.420 oh, it's supposed to be bliss and everything else. No, it's going to be hard and, and welcome to growth.

01:00:11.600 Yeah. Right. And by not getting married, is it easier? Probably not be married for sure,

01:00:17.380 without a doubt, but it doesn't mean it's wrong or not what's best for you.

01:00:23.560 Yeah. Easier doesn't equate to better. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But we have a tendency to do that,

01:00:29.240 right? It's like, oh, it shouldn't be hard, Ryan. Right. If it's the right thing, it should be easy.

01:00:34.460 Right. Well, being alone is hard though, too. That's quite miserable actually. Yeah. Nobody wants to be

01:00:41.060 alone. Like nobody wants to feel unloved or unimportant to other people. Being alone is

01:00:47.620 miserable too. Yeah. So I'd rather be miserable with somebody than not.

01:00:58.960 That's funny. All right. Thomas Clark, how do you plan out your week, month and year? Every time I 0.94

01:01:04.940 attempt to build a planning habit, I get overwhelmed by complexity. I should have read this question

01:01:09.040 earlier today. I think we've already kind of addressed it. Yeah. It's not complex. No,

01:01:14.740 it's not complex. Look, there's, there's, these are all iron council questions. So you're in the

01:01:19.140 iron council. So go through the battle planning segment in the book sovereignty. And then also

01:01:24.420 go through it in the section in the foundry, which is our communication platform. And don't,

01:01:30.440 I talked about this on Thursday, on Friday's call. Were you on the call Friday, last Friday?

01:01:34.640 No. Okay. No, it's not pocket. Don't, don't make it harder than it needs to be. And don't think that

01:01:42.040 just because you're doing this battle plan, potentially even for the first time that

01:01:46.120 everything needs to be perfect. You're going to do this in another 90 days. So just get something

01:01:51.120 down, anything that moves the needle, even if it's just a little. And then in 90 days, you get to

01:01:57.920 evaluate some, some of it, you probably overthought some of it. You didn't think hard enough about

01:02:02.180 some of it. You executed well, others you didn't in 90 days, you're going to evaluate it and redo a

01:02:07.900 plan and make it better. So you just got to start. And then if you stack eight, 12, you know, 16 battle

01:02:15.460 plans over four or five years together, you're not even going to recognize yourself in four to five

01:02:21.300 years. Yeah, for sure. And I would, and for you guys that aren't in the iron council, join the iron

01:02:28.080 council, join the iron council, or if you want to get some insight into this process,

01:02:33.400 you can get sovereignty Ryan's book that outlines this process as well as another free resource

01:02:40.400 online at order of man.com slash battle ready. Um, and that is a 30 day program that kind of walks

01:02:47.420 you through the same exact process. And in fact, I would even argue that maybe new guys in the iron

01:02:52.000 council might even want to consider reviewing that as well as, as part of the overall planning process.

01:02:57.800 Yeah, definitely. Definitely. All right. Dennis Morris. Um, what are you looking forward to

01:03:04.600 giving this Christmas? Is there a particular gift that you're really looking forward to giving?

01:03:09.620 Yeah, but I can't talk about it because I haven't given it yet and somebody might hear the podcast and

01:03:15.500 then disclose the information. Yeah. I thought the same thing. I actually have, there is my,

01:03:22.200 I know my wife won't listen to podcasts. So are you going to share or what?

01:03:27.800 Yeah, I'll share. So we, we just completed our EMT, uh, training class.

01:03:33.480 Oh, nice. Congrats, man. Cool.

01:03:34.980 Yeah. Well, I haven't passed like the national test yet, so don't say congrats quite yet.

01:03:39.880 I take that back.

01:03:41.100 Yeah. But the class I've done anything, you haven't done anything yet.

01:03:44.420 Yeah. Oh man. And it's so much information. Like I seriously, I'm like, I don't know if it's,

01:03:50.540 I'm old or, or this is a lot harder than I realized, but regardless. Um, so I actually have

01:03:56.320 this slick like paramedic med pack, um, that I bought her that, Oh, that's cool.

01:04:03.800 Maybe in the house or in her car. And it like has the legit stuff, not like a cheap first aid kit

01:04:10.460 from somewhere. You know what I mean? Like has the proper equipment. So that's cool. That's really

01:04:14.800 thoughtful. Yeah. Yeah. And in fact, I really want it for myself. Um, we'll see. Did you buy two of

01:04:21.640 me? No, I I'm going to look at hers and if it's really cool, I'll buy it for myself.

01:04:26.860 That's the thing. Like my wife's always like, what do you want? I'm like, I already bought 1.00

01:04:30.900 everything I wanted. Like if I want it, I just buy it. And she's like, yeah, but you don't leave

01:04:34.580 anything for me. I'm like, yeah. Cause I don't want to wait for Christmas. I want to know.

01:04:37.620 I know. Well, let's see. I bought, so I bought a Garmin. It was on sale. Like,

01:04:43.140 which one do you have? I got the Phoenix six. Oh yeah. Those are awesome.

01:04:47.260 Um, and, and it was on sale, like $150 off, like the first week in December. So I'm like,

01:04:53.300 wait. Uh, so I bought it and she's like, what? I was going to get that for you. I'm like, well,

01:04:58.140 it was on sale. So you said you should have done it. You're going to have to find something else.

01:05:01.680 Yeah. You should have done it. Um, there is one gift that I already gave because it was time

01:05:09.660 sensitive. I gave, uh, Breckin his first rifle. So my wife and I bought him. Yeah. We bought him a

01:05:16.100 pictures of him shooting it, right? Well, yeah. So we went out and we, we sighted it all in and

01:05:22.200 everything. And then he shot his first deer a couple of weeks ago with it. So that was his

01:05:26.800 Christmas. He knows that that was his Christmas present. And I said, okay, we're giving you your

01:05:30.060 Christmas present early. Cause we have a hunt coming up. And so, yeah, we gave him his first,

01:05:34.120 uh, his first rifle Ruger Ruger 308. So it's a sweet ride. I was going to say, what did you end up

01:05:39.380 getting? So Ruger 308 American 308. Yep. Yeah. That's a big first rifle too. Yeah. I mean,

01:05:45.920 he's had other, he's had 22 before. Oh, okay. Yeah. So his first high caliber rifle. How's that?

01:05:51.560 First real rifle. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. Okay. I was going to say, man, I, I think you would have

01:05:56.980 went with a 22 first, but, uh, yeah. Oh no, he's for the 308. He's no, he's been shooting. I think he

01:06:03.020 was two or three years old and he was shooting BB guns. And then, then his grandpa was having him

01:06:07.640 shooting Pelé guns. Then he moved to a 22 single, single, uh, single shot 22. Uh, then we have,

01:06:14.020 you know, lever action 22s. And then we went to the, uh, like there's, we've, we've gone through

01:06:20.600 the, the, the progression of rifle. Yes. Yes. I mean, and he shot shot, he's got a, uh, a four 10,

01:06:28.280 a double barrel four 10. That's really cool. In fact, I, I really liked that gun. That's a sweet

01:06:34.420 little gun. That little four 10 he's got. Um, I think he shot his first Turkey with my, 0.97

01:06:40.080 I can't remember if it was with my 12 gauge or my wife's 20 gauge, but he's, he's been through it

01:06:46.240 all. He's, he's well-versed. Yeah. I like it. All right. Those are all our IC questions. You want

01:06:52.880 a couple, cover a couple from the Facebook? Uh, yeah. Do you have some pulled up? Yep. Yep. I do.

01:06:59.200 Cool. I'm ready. Yeah. Let's take a couple more and then we'll call it a day. All right. Christopher

01:07:02.740 Benjamin, what's the best question to ask when you see someone who has lost their way on the path?

01:07:08.680 And I find it interesting that Christopher asked the question that way. What's the best

01:07:13.400 question to ask when you see someone who has lost their way on the path?

01:07:20.100 Well, I don't know if you would ask them this question, but I would ask myself, does this person,

01:07:25.200 is this person interested in finding their way? Like I would ask myself that question.

01:07:31.740 Yeah. Because if somebody's lost you, well, how do you know they're lost?

01:07:36.380 They're lost. You don't know. Like you may perceive that they're lost. Maybe they're exactly

01:07:42.680 where they want to be. You might not agree with that, but maybe that's exactly where they want to

01:07:46.320 be. So who are you to say you're lost? Totally. So I think you need to actually identify if this

01:07:52.720 person is truly lost and you need to ask yourself if they are, and they've identified that there's a

01:07:57.200 follow-up question. Is this person willing to find themselves? Cause I know there's plenty of lost

01:08:02.380 people who they don't want to be there, but they're also not willing to do the work to get

01:08:07.060 themselves in a different position. Yeah. Okay. Now let's, let's just assume for the, that's

01:08:12.780 important. Like we shouldn't overlook that. Yeah. Critical. Cause if you just like come in and you

01:08:18.220 swoop down and you try to save them, you're going to do more harm than good. So is this person lost?

01:08:23.660 Do they believe they're lost? And do they want to be found? Those are questions you need to ask

01:08:28.880 yourself. Yeah. Let's assume that yes, they're, they want to be helped. They want to be served.

01:08:35.940 I would ask, what are you willing to do? I actually, I would ask this question. What are you

01:08:40.600 going to do about it? Yeah. And I would even put one more question out there is, are they willing

01:08:46.920 to give up what has gotten them there? That's the, why are you going to, that's, I think that's

01:08:53.060 your question and mine are the same. Yeah. Well, but I think do, I do think some people would answer

01:08:58.360 the question of like, yes, I'm willing to get help. But then you pose the question in a different

01:09:02.800 way and say, are you willing to give up what has gotten you there? Yeah. And, and then the answer

01:09:08.420 to that might be, no, I'm not right. Because we all want help, right? We're, we all want to be rich,

01:09:14.840 but we're unwilling. Once we define what it takes to get there, then we all go, uh, okay, maybe not.

01:09:20.700 Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's a good point. Yeah. But I think that, I think the, the,

01:09:25.740 the point that we're trying to get across here is at least for me, what's always been more helpful

01:09:32.040 is leading them to their own conclusions. So Kip, if you were struggling and you reached out to me and

01:09:40.440 you sent me an email or a phone call and you said, Hey man, here's what I'm doing. Here's what I'm

01:09:43.520 dealing with. I need to, I need to find myself. My question would legitimately be, okay, what are

01:09:49.140 you going to, what's your plan? What are you going to do about it? I don't know. AKA, have you thought

01:09:54.900 through it? Yeah. Well, and if you said, I don't know, like, I don't know what I'm going to do. Say,

01:09:58.640 well, okay. So when are you going to do that? What, what, what, what strategy are you going to use?

01:10:07.500 How are you going to start thinking? What's the, what's the most important thing? What, what is it that

01:10:10.720 you want? What is it that you're after? I'm going to just, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions

01:10:14.460 because there's, there's no answer that I could give you Kip. Like if you came to me and you said,

01:10:19.160 man, I'm just really struggling. My relationship is this and this and business isn't going so well.

01:10:23.820 And I'm just, oh man, I just feel lost. I really need some help. And I said, oh, I hear, um, I'm

01:10:28.720 going to email you a 10 point plan and, uh, you just follow that and you'll be good. Come on,

01:10:35.620 you're not going to do that. You're not going to buy into that. You're not going to own that.

01:10:39.700 You're going to create all the excuses. You're going to say, this is stupid. This doesn't work. 1.00

01:10:43.740 That's what you're going to say. But if I helped you come up with your own 10 point plan,

01:10:48.300 now you're bought into it. So Kip, what are you going to do? Oh man, I think I just,

01:10:53.640 I really think I need to, um, start communicating more effectively with my kids. Okay. So what's your

01:10:59.860 plan for doing that? I don't know. I don't either. I don't know how, I don't know how your kids are

01:11:05.160 going to like, what, what could you do? Oh, maybe we could do like a, like a date night every week.

01:11:10.980 Cool. So that's what you're going to do. Yeah. Okay. Do that. Do that for four weeks. And then

01:11:15.280 let's talk about it and see how it goes. Like you just created that plan. Not me. That's way more

01:11:20.700 effective, way more powerful than me telling you what you should do. So I'm a big question asker.

01:11:26.000 I think questions are just, they're underutilized and they're, they're just extremely,

01:11:30.100 extremely powerful in transforming people's lives. Yeah. Ryan, don't you think that most guys that

01:11:36.060 might reach out in that way, aren't even looking for advice anyway. They're just looking for someone

01:11:41.760 to, to get on their side and pander and feel sorry for them and, and help them feel justified in,

01:11:49.540 in their moment of distress. I don't know. That's why I ask questions. Yeah. Cause I'm who,

01:11:57.280 who am I to decide what their motive is? Yeah, totally. So if a guy reaches out and says,

01:12:02.460 Oh, I need, I need this and this, and I'm lost. I'm like, I don't know. I don't,

01:12:05.440 maybe they are genuine or maybe they're not. Maybe I don't know. I don't know what they're

01:12:08.940 looking for. So that's why the question is so powerful. Oh, okay. So you're hurting,

01:12:14.300 you're struggling. What are you willing to do about it? Now that's going to turn people off by the way.

01:12:18.420 And you have to be, you have to understand that, you know who it's going to turn off the person you

01:12:22.840 just described. Yeah. Cause they're not getting what they actually wanted, which was validation,

01:12:28.460 justification, but I'm not going to assume that's what they want. I can just figure it out

01:12:33.440 through a series of questions. So if you came to me and, and, and, and you just wanted that

01:12:38.720 validation and justification. And I said to you, Kip, man, that really, that's too bad. You're

01:12:43.460 struggling with, with your marriage. What's your plan? You're going to feel slighted. Actually,

01:12:49.280 you're probably going to feel pit like, Oh, I just, I wanted you to tell me that me being an 0.99

01:12:53.840 asshole or me cheating was okay. It's like, that's not okay. Like, I'm not going to say that, 0.99

01:12:58.380 that it wouldn't be okay for me. Like, that's not, my goal is not to make you feel better.

01:13:02.800 If you're reaching out for help, my goal is to help you get yourself on the path.

01:13:06.320 Cause I can't be with you holding your hand forever. So I, I try, I try very hard not to judge

01:13:14.880 or assume people's motives and asking questions is a great way to skip past that. And you'll find out

01:13:22.100 very quickly what this person is interested in and what they're not interested in.

01:13:26.280 Totally. Totally. I love it. All right. Two more questions. Those last ones kind of short. So

01:13:32.160 Jake Otto, what is the best way to quit a job without risk of any kind of backlash

01:13:37.320 and still use an employer as a reference? It's not possible to eliminate risk.

01:13:47.000 How's that going to work? What's the best way to eliminate risk? There's that's it literally

01:13:54.420 impossible. Yeah. So maybe mitigate risk a little bit. Sure. Or reduce your risk.

01:14:00.800 Right. And I want to answer the question. I just want to make sure we frame this correctly and

01:14:04.480 understand that there's nothing you could do or say that's like, Oh, my employer's not going to

01:14:08.880 be pissed. Zero risk. Yeah. What you need to know is what you just said, how to mitigate risk

01:14:16.260 and also ask yourself, is the risk worth the reward? That's what you need to know,

01:14:21.620 not how to get rid of risk. It's going to be there. Yeah. So I think the best thing you do is

01:14:26.640 you honor your commitment. If you're working, if you're working on any projects, you commit to

01:14:31.940 finishing the projects because that's what you said you would do. So that might take you two or

01:14:37.040 three weeks or four weeks, finish the project. I think it would be valuable to consider what your

01:14:43.840 absence would mean to an employer. And then, so Kip, if you're my employer and I have a better job

01:14:49.560 offer, I would probably come to you and say, Hey, Kip, you know, I needed to talk with you about this.

01:14:54.220 XYZ company has made me an offer and I've decided to accept that offer. It was something I thought

01:15:01.540 a lot about, and I didn't make the decision lightly, but I think this is going to be in the

01:15:06.400 best interest of me and my family. But I also know that I've made some commitments to you and I value

01:15:12.900 you as my employer. I value our relationship. I value this work and the experiences that I've had.

01:15:21.260 And I'm working on this project that you assigned to me. And it's going to take a couple of weeks to

01:15:26.560 wrap up. And in the meantime, while we're wrapping it up, I'm going to be training Steve to take the

01:15:33.240 lead on this with your blessing and permission. And I'm going to teach him everything that I've

01:15:37.600 been doing and the systems I've been using and the tools that I have at my disposal. And if you need

01:15:42.660 help hiring a replacement, I would be more than happy to help facilitate that. So I'm giving you my

01:15:50.760 three-week notice or two-week notice or whatever it is, whatever's appropriate for you. And committing

01:15:56.920 to you right now that I will support you in the transition of me going to start my employment over

01:16:03.540 here. Like how can't argue with that? I mean, how do you now you could come back as an employer and

01:16:10.240 say F off and say, you're gone today. Okay. Well, I, okay. Or you probably what you would say is you'd

01:16:19.660 probably say, Oh man, we hate to lose you. You've been such a valuable employee. I understand. Is there

01:16:27.120 anything I could do to change your mind and keep you here with us? That's likely what would happen.

01:16:32.880 Yeah. Yeah. And I would either say, yes, you could offer me 20% more and then you could negotiate that.

01:16:39.380 Or you could say, no, there isn't, but I really appreciate that. And because I value what you've added to

01:16:45.180 my life, I want to ensure that this is a smooth, seamless transition for you, serve them, continue

01:16:51.680 to serve them. And I think, I think most employers in that circumstance, if you've been a good employee

01:16:57.080 and you presented it that way would probably be willing to go to bat for you. If you asked for a

01:17:01.900 recommendation. Totally. Well, and I can't help, but read Jake's question and say, if you have a

01:17:08.600 concern of a backlash because of quitting, it's already too late, like, like not too late, but

01:17:15.600 like you obviously don't have a really strong established employer and boss already in place

01:17:24.140 where, you know, what's how this is going to play out. You know what I'm saying? I don't know if I

01:17:27.960 agree with that. No, I don't agree with that. No. I mean, I think you have a strong relationship.

01:17:34.180 It's like, it's a given, right? Like if I have a great employee, there's not going to be a

01:17:38.000 backslash, a backlash with him quitting because we have an established relationship and I already

01:17:43.760 feel great that he does great work. And you know what I mean? And now a decision's being placed before

01:17:48.580 us. Yes. I agree with what you're saying in that, that probably wouldn't happen. Like I agree,

01:17:54.840 but I also know that our human nature is to doubt and second guess. And some people it's,

01:18:03.300 it's more prevalent for them. My son is a warrior. You know, he, he, he thinks about these and he's

01:18:10.320 actually, he's sensitive, which is why, because that level of sensitivity, which is good when it's

01:18:15.500 harnessed correctly can also manifest itself as unnecessary concern about things that he shouldn't

01:18:21.420 be concerned with. They go hand in hand. So I know that there's people who could have the type

01:18:28.380 of relationship that you're talking about, the great solid relationship and still put that baggage

01:18:34.860 in their head and say, Oh, it's going to go horrible. It's going to go bad and make it way

01:18:37.760 worse than it needs to be. I see what you're saying. Yeah. So you're right. Like that, that should

01:18:45.420 be something that you should consider. Like how is your relationship? Make sure your relationship

01:18:49.900 is established. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But you could still be doubtful because it's scary, right? Like

01:18:55.740 it's scary to leave and to start something new. And there's a lot of uncertainty. I talk about this

01:19:00.340 often. It's like, why would a woman who is physically abused continue to go back to her abusive boyfriend

01:19:06.400 or husband? Why? Why? Because the fear and the doubt and the scariness and uncertainty of stepping

01:19:15.160 into the unknown is greater than the fear of being physically abused. That tells me that that's a

01:19:21.880 legitimate, pretty real thing that people deal with. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Okay. All right. Ben

01:19:28.240 Phillips, last question. What is the best way to level up our AMA questions? He says, I'm asking for

01:19:35.400 me. So, and I thought this one might be valuable. Like it really is, right? Like some questions,

01:19:40.060 we don't, we don't cover them. And so maybe a little advice to the guys on Facebook and, and who

01:19:46.360 listen to podcasts on, and what's the ideal AMA, what's the strategy around submitting some really

01:19:53.100 good questions? Yeah. Well, number one, is it relevant to what we're doing here? So one question

01:20:00.400 I get often, and I don't even know the reference, but people say things like, would you rather fight

01:20:05.640 10 horse-sized ducks or one horse duck-sized horse or something like that? Yeah. You got, you know,

01:20:13.780 you know who you are if you've asked me this question. And it's probably off some movie that

01:20:17.840 I'm not cool enough to have ever watched because I don't know the reference, but that's not relevant

01:20:22.660 to what we're doing here. So I would say relevance is actually a really important thing.

01:20:28.620 Personal situations would be a good thing too. Not like this broad, generalized, hypotheticals,

01:20:35.640 like, how do you be happy? How do you be happy? I don't know. Now, if you have a specific question

01:20:41.800 about things that you're dealing with and it's relevant to what we're doing here at order, man,

01:20:46.560 it's, it's, it's to you, like it's a personalized thing. And then it's specific.

01:20:53.160 Yeah. So, Hey, Ryan, what's the best way to make money? Too broad, too broad. Hey, Ryan,

01:21:00.860 I'm trying to pay off my debt. I've got, I don't need the full story, but I've got,

01:21:06.060 you know, 30,000 in consumer debt and I've got this mortgage and I've got this and this,

01:21:10.220 like what would be the best way to, to attack that? Then I could give you a very clear cut,

01:21:14.680 specific answer for doing that. So I think that's a good, pretty good litmus test is,

01:21:18.660 is it relevant? Is it personal? And is it focused? Is it, is it you? Yeah. The focused as opposed to

01:21:28.340 just a broad generalizes is specific. That's probably a better way to say it.

01:21:32.500 I think those are going to create the best questions. And, and to add like, what's a good

01:21:37.580 question? One, obviously that we can answer. The second is that's what people relate to,

01:21:44.420 right? Everyone listening to this podcast, the more specific we are about the question and it's

01:21:51.960 personal and we have some details, other people in listening are going to be able to relate to that.

01:21:57.980 Right. And, and that's how I like, whenever I, we get messages of guys like, Oh, thank you so much

01:22:03.700 for answering my question, whatever my typical response is, thank you for submitting the question.

01:22:08.840 Totally. We're actually creating the dialogue for other guys to listen and consider for themselves

01:22:13.620 what might be the correct decisions or, you know, action that they need to take in their life.

01:22:19.840 Right. So it's not just like what Ryan and I want to answer it, but it's also what's best for the,

01:22:25.680 for the listeners and for other guys to help level up.

01:22:29.080 Yeah. I think motive is also important. Like, why are you asking the question? I know there's a lot

01:22:33.940 of people who ask questions just to hear themselves talk. For example, it's like, yeah, when is that?

01:22:39.120 Why does that matter? Like ask yourself, why does this matter? Like, even if you had the answer,

01:22:44.460 would that improve your life? Cause I don't want to get bogged down with things that don't matter.

01:22:49.680 I really don't. And it's very easy to do because they're simple and they deflect from the real

01:22:55.060 issues. Why is the sky blue? I don't know. And I don't care. It's blue. It doesn't impact my life.

01:22:59.780 If it was green, it wouldn't impact my life either. It would just be green. And then I would do with the

01:23:03.640 things that are important. I think that goes back to the relevancy thing, like figuring out and asking

01:23:08.660 yourself, is this important? Is the answer to this question important? Cause if the answer is not

01:23:14.840 important, just save your breath and ask a question that is actually relevant and important

01:23:19.060 and meaningful and significant to you, but we do it. I do it too. Yeah. And practice another,

01:23:26.120 another great strategy is just to practice. And I have a lot of practice because I do it on the

01:23:29.660 podcast every week, but practice asking questions and you'll know, how do you know you asked a good

01:23:35.060 question? You got a good answer. Yeah. That's how, you know, it's good. All right. To join us online

01:23:44.840 or in the iron council, uh, first go to facebook.com slash group slash order of man. Uh, you can

01:23:52.100 join us, join the conversations happening there as well. Submit questions for future episodes of the

01:23:56.960 AMA to join us in the iron council. You can learn more at order of man.com slash iron council. We

01:24:03.080 talked about the battle ready. There's a couple of questions today around kind of this, you know,

01:24:08.300 it always happens, right? End of year. Everyone's thinking about goal setting and everything else

01:24:13.460 to learn about the strategy used within the iron council. You could just join us there.

01:24:19.740 Um, but the other options are to buy sovereignty. You can get that book at store.orderofman.com

01:24:25.400 or sign up for our battle ready program at orderofman.com slash battle ready. And of course,

01:24:31.740 as always join us in this movement by sharing this message with, uh, those in your communities

01:24:39.320 and those that you think would be impacted. And you can do so by subscribing to the podcast and

01:24:43.920 podcast episodes, join us on Facebook or even just supporting swag. And you can get that and many

01:24:49.740 other things from the store at store.orderofman.com. Perfect. Thank you, Kip guys. Thank you. Great

01:24:56.240 questions today. Really appreciate the questions. Uh, we will be back on Friday. Have a

01:25:01.720 great Christmas. Christmas is on Friday. So have a great Christmas. Spend time with family and

01:25:06.860 friends and remember the reason that we do what we do and celebrate this season. Appreciate you guys

01:25:12.220 looking forward to, uh, being back with you as we get through Christmas and new years and getting

01:25:16.320 into an awesome 2021. So, uh, we'll see you then until then get out there, take action, become the man

01:25:22.700 you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of

01:25:27.800 your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

The Power of the "Get Shit Done" Mindset, Why You Shouldn't Read Into Things, and How Receptiveness to New Ideas Makes You Better ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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