Order of Man - May 21, 2020


The Power of Uncomfortable Truths | SEAN WHALEN


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 25 minutes

Words per Minute

213.5789

Word Count

18,303

Sentence Count

1,496

Misogynist Sentences

7

Hate Speech Sentences

30


Summary

Sean Whalen is a coach and long-term mentor of mine. He's been consistent about his desire to seek and share the truth. And he's revealed some truths about myself that I was unwilling to acknowledge for a very long time. In this episode, we talk about why some people don't appreciate the success of others, why most people are blissfully dissatisfied, and the power of embracing uncomfortable truths.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 The truth is often uncomfortable and frankly, most of us aren't willing to take a deep hard look
00:00:04.580 into what we know to be true. We do this because we're afraid, afraid of what we might see,
00:00:10.820 afraid of what it may expose in ourselves, afraid of what the truth may require us to do moving
00:00:15.840 forward. My guest today is a friend and long-term mentor of mine. His name is Sean Whalen. And one
00:00:22.100 things he's been consistent about is his desire to seek and share the truth. And he's revealed
00:00:27.580 for better or worse, some truths about myself that I was unwilling to acknowledge for a very
00:00:32.600 long time. Today, we talk about why some people despise the success of others, acknowledging
00:00:38.660 what kind of man you need to become in order to achieve what you want, why most people are
00:00:45.080 blissfully dissatisfied, and the power of embracing uncomfortable truths.
00:00:50.620 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly charge
00:00:55.620 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:01:01.080 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is
00:01:07.700 who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day. And after all is said and
00:01:12.740 done, you can call yourself a man.
00:01:15.640 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder
00:01:19.940 of this podcast and the movement that is Order of the Man. If you don't yet know what
00:01:24.400 we're about, this is a podcast dedicated to giving you the conversations that you need
00:01:29.280 to become a more capable, a more effective, a more efficient father, husband, business
00:01:34.560 owner, community leader. We've had some incredible men on the podcast. I just released my conversation
00:01:39.100 with Mark Manson just last week, but we've had David Goggins, Jocko Willink, Grant Cardone,
00:01:45.360 Andy Frisilla, Tim Kennedy, Dakota Meyer, Jordan Harbinger, Brian Rose. The lineup is phenomenal
00:01:52.780 and it's getting better. It's getting better. I've got some incredible conversations lined
00:01:58.080 up over the next several weeks that are going to be dropping here soon. One with Steven Pressfield,
00:02:01.760 one with Dave Rubin, one with Matt Fraser. Guys, we've got just a powerhouse lineup. So if you
00:02:08.220 aren't subscribed to the podcast, please make sure you do. And also I don't ask this a whole lot,
00:02:12.000 but I need you to do one thing. You need to go in and leave a rating and review. All right.
00:02:16.180 If you haven't done that yet, I'm going to get after you a little bit. If you've been listening
00:02:19.520 to the show for any amount of time and you find value, any bit of value in any of the conversations
00:02:24.340 that we've had, then do me a favor. Just do me a solid, go leave a rating and review. Guys,
00:02:29.480 this is the only way we grow the show. I don't run ads. I don't do anything on Facebook. I'm not
00:02:35.960 hawking a bunch of products and pitching you a bunch of stuff. So if you would, please just
00:02:41.100 leave a rating and review because it goes a very long way. And it's a great way just to say thank
00:02:45.860 you and expose other men who need to know about this message, the message of reclaiming and
00:02:50.560 restoring masculinity. So leave a rating review. All right. Outside of that, not a whole lot of
00:02:55.280 announcements. I've got a very cool program that's going to be available. It's free. It's accessible to
00:03:00.100 anybody. It's called battle readiness. So excuse me, four weeks to battle readiness. So that's going to
00:03:05.860 be coming out soon. Not quite ready. If you head over to our website, order of man.com and sign up
00:03:12.220 for our emails, then you'll be the first to note, be notified when, when that comes available in the
00:03:16.840 next several weeks. Again, it's four weeks to battle readiness. And it's going to be, I'm not
00:03:20.620 going to tell you too much about it, but just get signed up for the emails. Okay. That's all I've got
00:03:24.380 by way of announcements. I want to introduce you to my friend and also long-term mentor. A lot of people
00:03:29.940 don't know that, but Sean Whalen is a coach of mine and really he's been instrumental in helping me
00:03:34.920 build a order of man and into what it is, what you're listening to now, but more importantly,
00:03:39.820 me into who I am. Now, I don't always agree with Sean or even to a degree, get along with him,
00:03:45.580 but I believe that's part of the power of having a solid coach and a mentor. It's somebody who you
00:03:52.100 can respect, but challenges you to look at life in a way that is difficult and uncomfortable because
00:03:58.080 that's what helps you excel and grow. And Sean certainly makes people feel uncomfortable.
00:04:03.340 I say that in a good way. He says out loud what most people believe to be things that you shouldn't
00:04:10.500 say at all. And in the process, his videos and messages have been viewed hundreds of millions of
00:04:15.100 times. Obviously he's very polarizing, but he forces you to look at situations and events in new
00:04:21.660 ways. And he's personally helped me achieve some incredible results in my life. So I'm happy to be able
00:04:27.300 to introduce Sean to you and I hope you enjoy this conversation. I'm building a GI Joe. Yeah. You
00:04:33.640 said you're building a monster this time around, right? I'm building a monster, dude. Well, it appears
00:04:37.800 that way. You're looking good, man. Yeah. Represent. Represent. Yeah. I'm on day eight right now of my
00:04:44.260 first go with 75 hard. So it's been awesome. You're doing it? Yeah. It's been good, man. I'm down
00:04:48.780 like eight pounds right now down, uh, like a percent and a half on body fat. Yeah. Clear focused
00:04:57.120 distraction free. Uh, I actually said no today to five different people were like, Hey, can we catch
00:05:03.060 up? Or can I pick your brain? I'm like, no, we can't do that. I've got other things I got to get
00:05:07.200 done. So that clarity has been helpful, man. I'm telling you, man, it's a game changer. I've, I've,
00:05:12.640 I've said it from the beginning. You know what I mean? I mean, you know, the story and the deal. I mean,
00:05:17.660 I changed my body radically, but like, dude, it changed every aspect of my life. Like Andy's
00:05:23.520 talked about it. I've talked about it. Everybody's talking about it. It's like, it's, it's a 90%
00:05:27.900 mental deal. And the benefit is like, you can get ripped if you actually work out really hard.
00:05:33.020 Right. Yeah. I think the physicality of it, the, the, the way your body looks, the way you feel,
00:05:37.540 the way you feel about it physically is just a manifestation of everything that's going around
00:05:41.160 up here in your brain. Yep. Last night was a hard one for me. I was, it was raining. It was cold.
00:05:46.260 I hadn't gotten my, my 45 minute, uh, outdoor workout in yet. And I literally sat on my couch
00:05:52.120 like any last time I was like rationalizing to myself. Ah, it's funny. I actually thought last
00:05:57.160 night, fuck it. I'll just start over. Oh, really? I was like, I'll just start over, dude. I'm good.
00:06:01.880 Whatever. You're like, no, not doing that. You already did this. You know, this game.
00:06:05.940 Yeah. And I got up at 1245 and walked until almost 2 AM and throws my dick off and whatever.
00:06:12.460 I saw it. Yeah. I saw it. Um, on your Instagram stories. I was like, yep, I was doing that a
00:06:16.980 couple of days ago. The hardest thing for me has been the water though. Like the water
00:06:21.200 is, yeah, dude, the water's been rough. Like I don't know. Yeah. I've done that a little
00:06:25.980 bit. I've done that a little. That's a good idea. Some days, like, I don't even want to
00:06:29.320 drink it. It's just like, I don't want any more water, but I'll throw in like zip fizzes
00:06:33.680 or crystal light kind of things. And I feel like if you start early enough, if you get
00:06:39.940 up and like chug a bunch right out of the gate, you kind of stay ahead of the curve, then
00:06:43.920 you're not having to slam it. Cause dude, I've talked to people like trying to drink half
00:06:47.160 a gallon right before they go to bed and it makes sick or they're up pissing all night
00:06:50.800 kind of thing. So if you just, I have it where I like chug a bunch right in the morning,
00:06:55.400 right when I get up, I don't know.
00:06:57.680 It's a good way to do it, man. Pace it out a little bit. Well, Hey, um, here's my notes for
00:07:02.760 today. There's no notes at all. I figured, uh, I'm going to write some things down just
00:07:10.620 so I can go back and review, but I figured you and I just have a conversation. A lot of
00:07:13.600 people who are listening probably don't know you were one of my very first mentors in this
00:07:18.720 space, what four, four and a half years ago. And I don't think people know that. So I got
00:07:24.060 to tell you first and foremost, before we get into the conversation, man, I just would not
00:07:27.340 be where I am today without your guidance instruction, you being a lighthouse, even outside
00:07:32.640 of our formal mentoring, just you showing up the way that you show up has been invaluable
00:07:37.080 for me.
00:07:37.980 Dude, I appreciate that. I actually found an old video of you talking about that a while
00:07:42.980 ago and it's been fun seeing it. I had somebody ask me the other day about like the whole,
00:07:47.720 you know, when I came up with like the produce, protect, provide and like, is that a word, man?
00:07:51.820 And it's like, dude, that's watching you evolve that concept into the camps and moving in the
00:07:57.800 podcast and the whole thing. It's just like, it's been super cool. So dude, hats off to you for,
00:08:01.940 uh, for doing the work and adding the value. And you've had, you've had some conversations
00:08:06.360 with some pretty fucking incredible people, man.
00:08:08.300 Yeah. Yeah. I've been fortunate that way. Um, a lot of people believe in what we're doing. A lot
00:08:12.440 of people see the need for what we're doing. I know you're one of them. Um, you know,
00:08:16.720 I mean, that's the thing you did it. You know what I mean? Like you see it, you're leading from
00:08:21.600 the front. And to me, that's like what I've just always shared with people. And you know,
00:08:25.680 that is from coaching. It's like, dude, like be lying. Go out and do your thing.
00:08:30.060 Like make your moves, do your shit. Don't wait for people. And you've done it. So hats off to you,
00:08:35.620 man. You know, it's funny when I, cause people will ask, you know, like, how did you build this?
00:08:39.100 And you know, I look at what you've done. I look at what we've done and we've had good levels of
00:08:43.620 success where a lot of people have tried similar things and fallen flat on their face. And they
00:08:47.640 ask like, Oh, well, what is it that you did? You know, is there one secret? I'm like, dude,
00:08:51.260 I'm not, I'm, I'm really like, if you could get into my mind, you would know, like, I don't think
00:08:57.080 that highly of myself. Like I've got some self-esteem issues. Sometimes I feel like who
00:09:02.040 the hell am I to be talking about what it means to be a man. There isn't anything special about us.
00:09:07.080 It's like, I'm just willing to say some things that I believe and I'm willing to do it forever,
00:09:12.320 regardless of who shows up or not. And that's it. I wish there was something else,
00:09:16.720 but there isn't anything other than that. Dude, I, I, I feel you on that. Like that's,
00:09:22.420 there's so many people that think that there's a magic pill, right? Like, Oh,
00:09:26.460 I've got a coach and I'm going to get this magic thing and it's going to just instantly, whatever.
00:09:30.220 And I don't think people realize like how difficult, like the conversation that I've been
00:09:34.760 having for a couple of years about, you know, vulnerability and truth and speaking your mind.
00:09:38.720 I mean, you know, case in point with this whole coronavirus, I'm sure you want to talk about
00:09:41.820 at some point in time. Yeah, we'll get to it for sure. To use that as an example, like five weeks
00:09:46.540 ago, I was saying shit that no one wanted to hear. No one. I was called a murderer. I had
00:09:51.340 people wish death on my children. I had people wish death on me. I literally had people that were
00:09:55.320 saying like, I hope your children get the coronavirus and die. I know it's based off what
00:10:00.380 I was saying. Well, fast forward to today and pretty much every single thing that I was saying
00:10:05.360 was right. It's just that people didn't want to hear it. Right. It's like truth, which sparks people
00:10:10.460 like you could be morbidly obese and somebody's like, yo, you're morbidly obese. And you're like,
00:10:14.860 oh my God, I'm so offended. And it's like, you're offended by truth. Like you're fucking 600 pounds.
00:10:19.500 Like, let's just talk truth for a second. And it's been, it's been interesting because
00:10:23.760 for me personally, like there's been a lot of conflict with me. You talk about insecurities
00:10:28.220 and stuff. Some, I mean, if you read like Steve Jobs's biography, Steve Jobs was wildly insecure,
00:10:34.160 massive demons, like depression up the wazoo, bipolar, like, you know what I mean? A lot of the
00:10:40.140 the most successful people that I know that are out there, whether they're influencers,
00:10:44.120 business owners, they have a lot of insecurities. I am one of them. I have a ton of them. I question
00:10:49.160 myself frequently. Right. And then the last couple of weeks, it's just been like, fuck man,
00:10:53.420 I'm catching a ton of shit on this. Like a ton of shit, not like three or four people, but thousands
00:10:59.100 unfollowing me and literally thousands of comments, like thousands of them. And it was been,
00:11:05.300 it's just been interesting for me to sit back and be like, no, dude, like this is what you needed to
00:11:10.480 say. And you said it. And now it's kind of like, I shared this the other day in the last couple of
00:11:15.920 days, since a lot of these reports have been coming out about bogus numbers and all such stuff.
00:11:19.540 I've seen way more people talking about it. Right. Yeah. It's kind of like the old thing with like
00:11:23.940 Trump. Hey, I'm voting for Trump. I can't put a sign in my yard and I don't want to talk about it
00:11:27.900 at Thanksgiving, but if the pollsters ask me, I'm voting for somebody else. Exactly. Right. And so it's one of
00:11:33.180 those things where it's like being able to share what you feel called and compelled to share what
00:11:37.740 burns inside of you, whether it's masculinity, whether it's parenting, whether it's politics,
00:11:41.580 sex, money, politics, religion, whatever it is. Right. There's so many people that say to me and
00:11:45.680 they, I know they say the same thing to you, dude, you say the things that, that, that I think and
00:11:49.160 feel, I just don't know how to say them or I can't say them or whatever. And so I think it's, it's a,
00:11:55.180 it's a gift. Maybe it's a curse. I don't really know. All I know is like, this is all I know how to do.
00:12:00.400 And I know that it catches some shit, but I also know that the flip side is for every,
00:12:04.400 every one person that calls me an asshole, there's a hundred that appreciate it. So,
00:12:09.160 you know, interesting time. It is interesting times. It's, it's hard because everybody has
00:12:14.920 an opinion and everybody has a voice and it's all kind of equal. We all have an equal playing field.
00:12:19.420 I actually just experienced this. I would say like my first like genuine test, if I could stand behind
00:12:26.020 what I said just the other day, I posted something on Twitter about what I've accomplished over the past
00:12:30.120 four to six weeks. Like I'm proud of some of the things that I've done over that time. And I posted
00:12:34.180 that and I said, how about you? And I was expecting that people were like, oh, I've done this and I've
00:12:39.140 done this. I'm so excited. No, it's not. That's exactly thousands, like four or 5,000 people ratioed
00:12:46.660 on, on, uh, on Twitter came out and said, oh, well, you know, you're an idiot. Look at yourself
00:12:51.300 aggrandizing. I'm like, man, I'm just trying to explain that, that there's some positivity. And then
00:12:56.040 there's this idea that like, I actually saw this term thrown around the other day. It was, um,
00:13:00.740 happiness, privilege, happiness, privilege that if you're happy, that's a privilege, man.
00:13:06.480 Like privilege, black, purple privilege, fucking privilege, fucking fast car privilege. And
00:13:12.080 everything's privileged nowadays. Right. I think it, um, yeah, you know, that's what they,
00:13:16.440 they describe it as, but really what it is, is their inability to produce any sort of results in
00:13:22.920 their life. And then instead of working on that, what they'd rather do is pull you down,
00:13:28.900 tear you down. Cause that's way easier than me actually going, doing the same work that you or
00:13:33.760 somebody else who was successful did. Totally. Dude. I mean, I got in shape last year, right? I
00:13:38.200 always, I was always strong and I was always in the gym and I was always fit, but I never was like
00:13:43.300 ripped. You know what I mean? Like six pack kind of ripped. Right. And last year, you know,
00:13:47.220 I had major spine surgery. And so I took my body on as a challenge. Like I'm like, no dude,
00:13:52.480 I'm going ball steep. Like I'm going all into my body. I'm going to build something that I never
00:13:56.580 thought I could build. I never thought I could have a six pack. My jeans, my parents were both
00:14:01.200 big and overweight and like six packs are for other guys. And I went on this fucking insane
00:14:07.760 journey and I, and I, and I learned how difficult it was to build a physique like that. And literally
00:14:14.220 like I'll take, I'll post pictures. You see, I mean, if you follow me on social media, you know what I'm
00:14:17.820 right? You see him. Yeah. I'm proud as fuck of what I built. Zero bones about it. Zero. When I
00:14:23.600 look good in the mirror, I'm like, damn, you look fucking good. Right. Post that. What's really
00:14:27.600 fascinating to, to, to echo what you're saying. You know, I haven't had a single person, a single
00:14:34.200 fitness person, a single person who's ripped, who, who was legitimately in shape, ever talk shit on any
00:14:41.280 of those pictures. In fact, the biggest cheerleaders are those people. No doubt. People
00:14:46.080 that talk the most shit. Oh, why don't you post another selfie? Why don't you do this? Oh, look
00:14:50.540 at you, whatever, whatever. They're all fat. They're all in shape. When I went through my bankruptcy and
00:14:54.800 lost millions of dollars, like I have never had one person. We know, we both know a lot of very
00:15:00.180 successful, very wealthy people. I've never had a single one of my friends who's a multimillionaire
00:15:05.300 or billionaire ever speak one word about that. Make fun of me, mock me. Who are the people that
00:15:11.500 do it? The people that are broke. People that have never made a million dollars want to talk
00:15:15.640 about me making millions of dollars. It's the same thing. Like with my fights, I've had five MMA
00:15:20.120 fights. I lost two of them. The people that talk the most, Oh, did you see Sean get knocked out?
00:15:25.940 They've never been in a fight. You don't know how many of my UFC buddies have ever spoken one word or
00:15:31.040 talked any shit zero. And so like, it's something like, as you say, like, as you look at those
00:15:37.060 comments, you look at those people, none of them are speaking their truth. None of them are out front.
00:15:41.800 And I think this is a huge lesson, like for not only what I share with people, but like, you're
00:15:47.060 going to be judged. Like you're going to be judged no matter what you say, no matter what you do,
00:15:50.980 Ryan, like you could say, I love my wife and people be like, Oh, he fucking hates trees. And it's
00:15:55.740 like, it's just the dumbest, right? I can post to my dog and say, I love my dogs. And be like,
00:16:00.720 he hates cats. Call PETA. It's like, no, I just love my dogs. Let me fucking love my dogs. Right?
00:16:06.100 We just live in a really interesting time where it's this, this social media thing.
00:16:10.500 This has given people a lot of gusto. It's given people a lot of fucking false sense of security
00:16:16.460 because those same people that talk shit online, if they pass by me on the street,
00:16:22.180 they'd probably want an autograph. They'd probably want to take a selfie with me.
00:16:25.000 They wouldn't say one fucking word. And want to know how I know this? Anybody who's watching
00:16:30.040 this that doesn't like me show up, come to my warehouse and throw on some boxing gloves with
00:16:34.920 me. I'm not hard to find. You see what I'm saying? And every time I've extended that invitation and
00:16:39.980 trust me, believe me, there's plenty of people out there that beat my ass, but the people that
00:16:45.200 talk the most shit are the people that do the least, right? The people leave the least amount of
00:16:49.500 results. And it's way easier to talk shit about you and your life than it is to like,
00:16:55.420 look inward and to talk about mine, which is why I think we're in the debacle that we're in right
00:17:00.060 now in the situation that we're in, not only with this coronavirus thing, but just our culture in
00:17:04.140 general. This is why we're as fat as we are as a society, why we're as broke as we are as a society,
00:17:08.900 why we're as disconnected as fathers and, and men. You know what I'm saying? It's, it's,
00:17:13.580 it's a really, really, really fascinating experience. Well, I think there's also this,
00:17:17.620 this idea of like virtue signaling that, that if I call you out for something that is,
00:17:22.840 is perceived, even in the slightest perceived as being wrong by others, then I get to step myself
00:17:28.360 up on the scale of virtue or even worse. If I'm a bigger victim than you, then I'm more virtuous
00:17:35.060 because I, I've, I have harder than you do, which is a real shame. Like I can't believe this race to the
00:17:41.780 bottom that we're experiencing with so many people. That's actually a really good race to
00:17:45.120 the bottom. That's actually a really good saying. That's a great quote. Cause it's true. I mean,
00:17:49.620 it's literally like, you know, you share a story. Oh, well, you don't know about mine. Mine's worse.
00:17:55.780 No, mine's worse. It's like, I literally know dudes that are still blaming the market crash in 2008
00:18:01.500 for why they're broke. I'm like, bro, that was 12 years ago. That was 12 fucking years ago. I lost
00:18:07.660 millions. You lost me. What have you done in the last 12 fucking years, bro? Like get up,
00:18:13.780 keep going. Right. Right. It's funny though. How, um, how much people identify with that pain,
00:18:21.120 you know what I mean? How it's way easier to stay in the pain of like victimhood than it is to like
00:18:27.160 experience the pain of like going out and actually creating change. Cause it is painful. You know,
00:18:31.820 either are painful. Right. But it's like, which people are far more comfortable staying overweight
00:18:41.700 and broke and victimized, if you will, then charting a new course. And it's really,
00:18:48.300 it's a really fascinating thing. Building a body is fucking painful. It's not, it's not simple.
00:18:52.360 You're sore. I'm 41 years old. My joints hurt the whole thing. Right. I have every excuse. I got a
00:18:57.300 torn rotator cuff, both my knees redone. Right. I've got two choices. Like blame all of that shit
00:19:03.460 and who surrounds me then victims, right? A bunch of fucking weak men, a bunch of pussies,
00:19:08.740 or I show up and say, no, dude, I want more and I want bigger. And this is, I think like this,
00:19:13.640 I know this is what order men is about. Lines of sheep is about. It's like, dude, go create what it
00:19:18.560 is that you want. Build it, literally build it, build the business, build the family, build the
00:19:24.320 relationship, build the body. And it's fascinating how few people want to do it.
00:19:30.620 You know, and, and I'm actually, look, here's my thought. If that's the life you want to live,
00:19:34.900 like if you want to be overweight, you want to be broke, you want to be mediocre. You want to coast
00:19:39.240 all the power to you. I actually hope that you have a successful life. I hope you have some romance
00:19:43.640 and you have some fun and experiences, but if that's the life you choose to live, then you forfeit
00:19:48.800 your right to complain about what somebody else is doing to excel. Cause what they do
00:19:53.860 has, has no relevance in your life. Like my success doesn't come at your expense. In fact,
00:20:00.840 if anything, I'm paving the way. Like if I can show you that this guy can be successful,
00:20:05.160 then surely you can. And I actually made it easier for you to do. I gave you a track to run on. I beat
00:20:11.060 down the path so you can run on it. If your people aren't broke, I've said this all the time,
00:20:15.880 people are not broke because somebody else is rich. That's how it works. You're not fat
00:20:22.060 because I'm ripped. You're not broke because someone else is rich. You're broke. You're
00:20:27.760 broke. You're fat because you choose to be fat. Oh, but Sean, my genetics, it doesn't fight. Here's
00:20:33.760 why that's invalid. David Goggins, perfect example. Totally. He was fat as fuck. He made a decision.
00:20:40.440 He went on a journey. He changed. And this is like, it's the old four minute mile story, right? Well,
00:20:45.700 it can't be done. And then all of a sudden somebody does it and now everybody does it,
00:20:49.560 right? So it's that, that idea, like I can't do it because my body hurts. I'm sore. I'm fat.
00:20:55.840 And it's like, that would work. That would be a great excuse. However, 2.7 million other people
00:21:02.480 have already done it. How many broke people have you seen that now become wealthy? So your excuse of,
00:21:10.720 I had a bad upbringing. I don't know my genetics. The thing that's crazy is those stories don't,
00:21:18.700 they're not logical anymore. And I think that's, what's causing so much frustration and pain and
00:21:24.440 anger, you know, in our culture is like, people know that you watch somebody who was broke become
00:21:30.660 wealthy and it makes you mad. I want that, but it's way easier to stay addicted to the story over
00:21:36.840 here. Or you see David Goggins. I was fat. I got ripped. And it's like, shit, I want that. And I
00:21:44.860 think people secretly do. They truly, truly, truly do. But they know what, they hear the story and it's
00:21:52.500 way easier to stay in the, in the addictive pattern of victimhood than it is to say, I'm going
00:21:58.840 to go on a journey and I'm going to build something different. Cause dude, it is scary. Don't get me
00:22:03.860 wrong. Like it is scary. Like when you go from being poor to having money, the people that surround
00:22:09.420 you when you're poor, it's social contracts. We talk about this all the time. You're breaking these
00:22:13.920 social contracts. You have to leave certain people. You have to leave certain ideas. You have to leave
00:22:18.700 certain patterns. If you're getting drunk every night with your friends and you're replacing that
00:22:22.940 with like work time and building a new business time, those people are going to be like, what do
00:22:26.640 you think you're better than us? So it's hard to do it. It's hard to go. If you live in a fat family
00:22:33.500 and you see families like this all the time, I'm not trying to be a dick, but mom and dad are grossly
00:22:37.980 overweight. They got four kids and they're fucking fat little turds too. Again, you can judge me all you
00:22:42.800 want. I'm just speaking truth. And sometimes people need a hug. Sometimes people need punch in the
00:22:46.840 fucking face. They're never going to change. You're not going to see one of those kids just
00:22:52.300 magically just all of a sudden sprout up and build some muscles until they leave the addictive
00:22:57.320 pattern and they leave the addictive environment that they're in. And I don't think people realize
00:23:01.780 number one, one, how difficult that is, but two, how possible that is too. I mean, we live in a day
00:23:07.380 and age of connection. We live in a day and age where you have access to so much instant data. Gary talks
00:23:12.920 about this. You talk about, I talk about it. There's literally no excuse that's valid for not
00:23:18.300 having what you want. None. Literally every single opportunity is out there. Every single tool is
00:23:24.560 available for you to build anything you want from a body to a relationship to a business. It's all
00:23:31.900 there. It's all there. The barrier to entry has never been lowered. You know what I think it is though?
00:23:36.180 I think it's people's egos. Like I'll give you my own anecdote here is because you've caught,
00:23:40.560 you personally have called me out on some BS over the past four years. And my first year,
00:23:46.300 what's the first, what's the number one thing you can think of? The one I went, one thing I can
00:23:50.880 think of is that I went to an event that you hosted and, uh, and you had a PT session that first
00:23:57.900 morning and I didn't go to it. And you were like, you got in my face. You're like, what the hell,
00:24:04.240 man? You're trying to lead men and you can't even wake up at 5am and get, get here to this PT session
00:24:08.740 and work out with us. And my knee jerk reaction is like, well, screw you, dude. I don't need you.
00:24:13.780 Like, I don't need any of this bullshit. Like that, that was my reaction. But then thinking about it,
00:24:18.700 I was like, no, wait, that's like, that's actually true. Like that's actually a really good point.
00:24:24.740 But it's hard. It's hard to hear that. But at the same time, you and I both know something
00:24:29.580 and you've experienced and I've experienced, like I, it's really easy to have people that will
00:24:35.320 support you and where you are around you. Right. You know, did a post about this the other day
00:24:41.040 about this whole, you know, you are enough idea and it's dangerous, man. It's dangerous because
00:24:47.080 there's a lot of coaches out there that will peddle this story. Like you're enough, you're
00:24:50.720 enough bullshit. Any coach that tells you that any human being that tells you that is literally like
00:24:56.440 enabling your mediocrity. They're allowing you to stay in mediocrity. They're, they're validating,
00:25:02.520 hear me. They're validating you being in mediocrity. Yeah. They're encouraging it.
00:25:07.900 Validates your mediocrity is a fucking scam and a fraud. Get rid of them. Any coach that tells you
00:25:13.500 that. Now don't, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you're completely fucked, whatever,
00:25:17.700 whatever. But if the idea that you have is like, I'm good here and you become addicted to that
00:25:23.880 and there's never progression, there's never growth. I mean, Ed Milet talks about this. Do
00:25:28.760 we're name dropping everybody in this. This is fucking great. Ed Milet talks about being blissfully
00:25:32.960 dissatisfied. I'm happy with where I am. I'm happy drinking my wine, smoking my cigar, watching this
00:25:38.480 sunset, but I want more. And I think this is what's really like what you're talking about. Like
00:25:43.240 going back to that example of, of having people around you that will push you, man.
00:25:48.440 You know what I mean? If you get offended by that stuff all the time, you got to go inside and check.
00:25:52.580 But like, I want people in my life. I want coaches and mentors and friends that are like,
00:25:57.480 yo dude, you're slipping. You're slipping. I know you can do more than that. I know you can do better
00:26:02.860 than that. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it was, cause I had, I had one of my clients here in town
00:26:06.960 yesterday. Um, one of my one-on-one clients and I, and it's funny cause he's out of shape and, uh,
00:26:13.360 owns a very successful business, makes a couple million dollars a year and trying to get kind of
00:26:17.020 wrangle in life and get everything together. I said, bring your workout shit. We're going to work out in the
00:26:20.560 morning. So he came with me to work out with me and my trainer. Um, and we went hard. I mean,
00:26:25.020 I go hard with my workouts. Right. And, and it was leg day and we're going hard and he was trying to
00:26:30.520 keep up with what I was doing in the same weight and the whole thing. And, and about halfway through
00:26:34.740 one of the sets, my trainer was kind of like helping him up on the leg press machine and like
00:26:39.360 moving. I said, dude, get the fuck off it. Don't touch it. You've got this. And in his mind,
00:26:43.920 it was like, I'm going to rack it. And then I'm going to pause because like, I need to do that.
00:26:47.840 I'm like, no, don't fucking touch it. You do this, like do it right now. And it was an interesting
00:26:52.300 thing for me as a coach. Cause you could see his pain. You could see his frustration,
00:26:55.760 but I knew that he could do it. Right. And he did it. And afterwards he's like, fuck yeah,
00:27:00.320 man. Like that felt really good. You know what I mean? And I think that's something that's really
00:27:04.200 important. I know this is important for you cause you have coaches and mentors and as do I, um,
00:27:09.980 it's so crucial to change your environment. It's so crucial to change the people that are on your
00:27:17.580 newsfeed, the people that you're listening to the podcast that you're listening to.
00:27:21.100 It's so damn crucial to get the, the, the naysayers and the, and the, the victims out of
00:27:27.400 your life because like what you put in here, it's the most valuable thing, man. This, this is real
00:27:32.960 estate, 401k IRA, cash money, Rolexes, cars, that ain't worth shit. It's this man. And, and I'm,
00:27:40.860 I'm fascinated by the human experience. I mean, this is like, you and I talk about this all the time,
00:27:45.460 like just human beings in general, like how we are programmed and, and, and, and what's inside
00:27:50.540 of our DNA, but more importantly, like how simple it is to just put, we put garbage in here and we
00:27:56.140 expect beauty. We listen to terrible people. We listen to gossip and drama all day long and
00:28:02.820 somehow question our lives and go, why is my life so much drama? Why is there so much drama and chaos?
00:28:07.880 That's cause that's all you put in. It's who you're surrounded by. I want to be surrounded by
00:28:11.980 fucking killers. I want to be surrounded by people that lift way more weight than me,
00:28:15.940 that are in way better shape than me, that push me, that have more money than me, that are more
00:28:20.680 successful than me, that are better than me in these things. Right. And it's like, I think it's,
00:28:25.080 that's, I always share this and we're just going off on a tangent. No, it's good. That's what I
00:28:29.340 wanted to do, man. Just talk. I think, and I think you would probably agree with this. This is
00:28:32.760 something that costs you nothing. It literally costs you nothing. You don't have to hire a coach. You
00:28:38.360 don't have to hire a mentor. You don't have to spend any money. I don't have to buy a book. You don't have to buy a
00:28:41.860 DVD. The single most powerful thing that anyone listening to this will do. And the thing that's
00:28:47.440 the most accessible, available and capable of you doing right now today is changing your circle,
00:28:55.400 literally getting on and deleting people. You know, as I say drama, I know everyone listening
00:29:00.540 to this already has a person. You already know two, five, 10, 20, and you know that they're drama.
00:29:06.820 You know that they're chaos. You know that they're just victims, right? Well, it's my aunt.
00:29:11.860 I don't fucking care. Nothing is more important than you eliminating that shit from every aspect,
00:29:18.760 from your visual, seeing it, from your hearing it, your audible, like hearing drama all day
00:29:25.040 long. I don't care how smart you are, how badass you are. That shit will ruin you. If you see it all
00:29:31.480 day long, it will ruin you. But it's something that people are so terrified to do, but it's easy and it's
00:29:37.940 free and it just changes your entire life. Getting around different people. People ask me all the
00:29:44.000 time. They ask you the same thing. Dude, Brian, how did you get all these interviews? How did you
00:29:47.720 interview David Goggins? How did you don't go in the whole thing? And you added value. You stopped
00:29:53.660 listening and hanging out with the fucktards and you started listening and engaging with the
00:29:58.420 killers. And then you know you're in the circle of killers. People ask me, how did you hook up with
00:30:03.240 Andy Frisilla and Ed Mylen and all these other guys? And he's like, I quit hanging out with the
00:30:06.860 assholes and I started adding value there. I was on Periscope one day. Andy was on Periscope one day.
00:30:11.760 I happened to follow him. He happened to follow me. And he made a comment. He's like, hey, dude,
00:30:15.220 I love your shit. And I'm like, oh, I love your shit too. We became friends. And it was just literally
00:30:19.460 engaging in that positivity that sparked that relationship, which has led to dozens of people that I
00:30:25.820 are blessed to call friends. You know what I mean? Oh, for sure. You know, it's funny. My wife
00:30:31.220 and I were walking around the property and you know, we're fortunate where we live and we have
00:30:34.660 this, this property in this house and we were walking around and we're walking back up to the
00:30:38.360 house. And, and I told her, I looked at her, I said, isn't this amazing? Like, this is amazing.
00:30:43.000 Look where we live. Look what we're doing. Look at this house. Like, look at our kids playing.
00:30:46.960 This is amazing. And, and she told me something. She said, you know, it's, it's funny is I've always
00:30:52.560 wanted since the time we were married. I've always wanted to have some property like we have now and
00:30:57.700 live in a big white farm slash ranch house. And now we have it. And my thought was like,
00:31:04.280 that's because that was what was in here. This has been in your mind. And so everything that you've
00:31:10.040 done from our marriage to even working through and salvaging our marriage to helping support what
00:31:16.140 we're doing here with order of man and having my back and then doing all the things that you've been
00:31:20.300 interested, everything, all of those little steps have led us to create the reality of something
00:31:26.920 that you had just thought about. Like, this isn't just luck or fortune. Like we didn't stumble into
00:31:31.380 this stuff. You've been thinking about this exact house since you were a little girl and now you have
00:31:37.640 it because you made it happen. You know, as a master at this is Conor McGregor. Yes. A while ago,
00:31:45.260 that's on my Instagram, it's on Facebook too, where he talked about visualization. I did a podcast on
00:31:50.700 this. And what's really fascinating is a lot of people that haven't experienced this think that
00:31:56.300 what you and I are talking about is just luck, right? You got lucky. You hit the, you hit the
00:32:01.140 numbers and you got lucky. But like the thing I loved about watching Conor talk about this, and he's
00:32:07.500 been talking about it since he was a kid. A long time. He's like, I've been the UFC champ. I've seen it.
00:32:12.220 I've seen the cars. I've seen all that stuff, right? Which is great. But what was really
00:32:16.400 fascinating in the video that I shared is him in the dressing room before the fight with Jose Aldo.
00:32:25.860 And there's video cameras recording this and it's showing him throwing this left hook. And he's
00:32:31.420 doing it over and over again. And he's stepping back on this left hook. And he literally, he talks
00:32:36.380 about before the fight, like a week before he was doing an interview. And he's like, I have literally
00:32:41.080 visualized him throwing a right and me catching him. He's like, I have visualized it. I've seen it.
00:32:47.700 And this is a week before the fight. And you go to what he's doing in the dressing room and he's
00:32:52.140 visualizing this and visualizing this. And a lot of people think that what you're talking about and
00:32:56.640 I'm talking about is just luck. It's just luck. Like you just somehow lucked out. And I'm so radically
00:33:04.120 obsessed with my visions, with what I think about, with what I wake up. I mean, my mirror is covered
00:33:10.940 in quotes and sayings and things. The very first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is I put
00:33:15.800 Joe Rogan on. The single video that I shared in my book, be the hero of your own story. And I listen
00:33:22.440 to that every morning. I've got it memorized now. The reality is I still do it because I want those
00:33:28.560 seeds planted in my brain. And I'm listening and listening and visualizing and visualizing. And sure
00:33:33.320 enough, was it like nine seconds or 11 seconds into the fight? Bop! And he gets the exact shot
00:33:39.560 that he talked about. That's not luck. It wasn't luck that Jose Aldo just happened to get caught
00:33:44.820 there. He visualized it so many fucking times that it became reality. Now there's a big difference
00:33:50.300 and I'm sure I would love to hear your insight on this too. This idea of like manifestation,
00:33:55.160 right? I think a lot of people think that you just rub, you know, crystals on your skull.
00:33:59.840 Wish it into reality.
00:34:00.980 Just because you're a good person, checks show up and mine is all my money, right? No. Like
00:34:07.380 the manifestation is, is fucking seeing it and vision, like visioning it, literally vision,
00:34:12.920 writing it down, putting it on paper. This is what I will do. This is what I will have. It'll
00:34:18.340 be a white house on acres with this, not just like, well, I want a big house.
00:34:23.580 Big house, right.
00:34:24.360 Literally visualizing exactly what you fucking want. And when you become obsessed with that,
00:34:29.260 your patterns, your work ethic will start to match that. You know, I was on the beach with
00:34:35.820 Garrett and I think you've heard me share this before. And this is probably one of the bigger
00:34:41.260 lessons that I think I've ever learned. We're on the beach and we're walking down the beach in Laguna
00:34:46.360 beach. And there was this house that was for sale. It was like $26 million beach house. And I, like I
00:34:50.860 said, I think you've heard me share this. And when we started having this conversation about buying this
00:34:54.520 house, right. And people that are listening to this, like seriously, listen to what I'm sharing
00:34:58.300 right now, because if you understand this and you can put this in your pipe and smoke it and apply
00:35:02.020 this, it'll change your fucking life. Cause it's changed mine and Brian's and many of others.
00:35:07.300 We're talking about this and like the math to buy a $26 million house is easy. I can give a
00:35:12.680 calculator to my 14 year old and say, okay, how much is 10% down? How much is 20% down? How much
00:35:18.060 is 30% down? $26 million, $2.6 million. You know what I mean? It's all, it's all math. Okay. If we
00:35:23.360 do a 30 year mortgage at 6%, what are my annual pay? I mean, it's, it's math. Buying that house is
00:35:28.880 simple. It's just math. It's just numbers. Anybody can figure that out. What we started to talk about
00:35:35.480 is, is how you buy that house. And the, and the comment came and we started talking about the reality
00:35:41.940 being, who do you have to become to live in a $26 million house? It's not math. It's not the math.
00:35:49.120 It's going to get it. That's easy. The question really is what type of, and I started visualizing
00:35:54.360 this, like literally visioning what type of man drives into the driveway of a $26 million home.
00:36:02.360 What does he look like? What does he smell like? What are his mannerisms? How does he carry himself?
00:36:08.380 What are his morning rituals? What are his evening rituals? How does he work? What does he read?
00:36:14.060 How does he treat his woman? I'm being completely fucking serious. What type of man and literally
00:36:20.360 envisioning the type of man that lives in a $26 million home? Because the math is easy.
00:36:26.840 It's easy to talk about a body, right? It's easy to talk about a six pack. It's easy to talk about
00:36:31.040 a white house and property and making money, building a business and being a good dad. It's these things
00:36:36.660 are simple. They're just theoreticals that are floating around and they're in books and written
00:36:40.620 in word and the whole thing. The real question is like, in order to achieve any of these things,
00:36:46.140 you have to ask yourself the question, what type of man, speaking just men or woman, what type of man
00:36:52.100 do I have to be in order to build the kind of business that I want? This is literally like,
00:36:59.960 this is the exact business that I want. What type of man owns that business? What type of man
00:37:04.060 buys the dream home for his wife? What type of man lives in a $26 million home? What type of man
00:37:12.340 drives a Ferrari or whatever it is, right? Right, right. Whatever your thing is.
00:37:16.700 Rides horses all day long. I don't give a shit. When you start putting that in your brain, like,
00:37:21.600 I realized that the type of man that has a six pack is the type of dude that will do the workouts
00:37:27.940 no matter how he feels. Period. Because the old me, I'm sick. I don't feel good. I'm tired. My body's
00:37:35.760 sore. I need a rest day. You need rest. I mean, all of the excuses. And I realized like, the type of
00:37:40.920 dude that has a six pack is the dude that skips no workouts. Does the work. Period. Period. Because if I
00:37:48.460 don't, I won't have that because I live that way. And so, I started like realizing it as I was
00:37:54.240 visioning and seeing things and what I wanted and how I wanted my life to be. It was like,
00:37:59.700 what kind of man owns a race car and races with his son? Well, this is the kind of guy that I need
00:38:04.680 to be. This is the type of thing that I need to be. These are the habits and the rituals that I need
00:38:08.240 to learn and to, you know, exemplify. You know what I mean? I think it's huge. Like, what type of man
00:38:16.780 runs a company like Order of Man? What type of man buys it? And I could tell you, and you know this,
00:38:22.580 you could say this, you're not, it's not the same dude from three years ago. No, not even close.
00:38:28.240 You had to become man in order to do that. I like this thought because, I mean, you're talking
00:38:34.960 about consciousness. You're talking about projecting yourself out into the future. One thing I see a lot
00:38:38.680 of people do, like, you know, I'm spiritual. I know you're spiritual. I'm religious. And I believe
00:38:44.560 in God, right? And it's funny because people who believe in God, when they take it to the extreme
00:38:49.620 sometimes, and you know they have, because they say this, if it's God's will, if he wants it to be,
00:38:56.380 I'm like, dude, as a father, there's things that I want for my children that I cannot possibly give
00:39:02.740 them. Like I can't give it to them. I want it for them, but they have to earn it. They have to go out
00:39:08.420 and create it. I cannot physically give them everything that they want. Just like God cannot
00:39:15.660 give you everything that you want. Like, yes, he wants it for you, but you actually have to go out
00:39:22.120 and do it for yourself. It's not enough just to wish it, or like you said, rub crystals on your
00:39:26.540 nipples. Like you, if we're talking Bible shit, he also says in the Bible, it is not neat that I
00:39:32.140 should command in all things. Meaning I'm not going to tell you when to take a dump, when to cook your
00:39:36.280 breakfast, when to go get a job, when to say this. I'm not going to, I'm not going to fucking tell you
00:39:40.800 everything. You got to go. You got to jump off the cliff. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like
00:39:44.960 that's part of the game. And I think a lot of like the, the, the manifesting crowd, I'm going to
00:39:50.840 manifest, I can't see, I see these memes and I like want to barf all over my phone.
00:39:55.280 You know what I mean? Millions of, you're going to be the first millionaire in your family.
00:40:00.320 You know, riches are coming your way. Next month you're going to make an exorbitant amount of
00:40:04.700 money. And it's like, what the fuck? Yeah. Fortune cookie stuff.
00:40:08.960 Everybody that I know that has, that's wealthy work their dick off for it.
00:40:13.460 Everybody that I know that's ripped works their ass off for it. It's not, you don't just go walk
00:40:19.860 by the 26 million dollar house and go manifest crystals. But that idea of, of like implant,
00:40:29.860 planting in your brain, this vision of white house, the acres, 26 million dollar house,
00:40:35.260 whatever it is, you, you, when you become obsessed with it, obsessed with it.
00:40:42.340 I have found for me personally, your habits change, your, your consciousness changes,
00:40:48.400 the things you read, the things you study, the things you do. And this is why, and you know,
00:40:54.140 this is a coach. Cause I hear this all the time. I'm ready. I'm in, you know what? I'm in,
00:40:58.160 I'm ready to go. Send me the link. I'm joining the group. I'm in, I'm going to do the deal now.
00:41:02.900 And it's like, cool. Here you go. Oh, Oh wait, what, what do I have to do?
00:41:06.800 You know, $147 a month. Well, you know what? I got to actually go to dinner. I'll get back to
00:41:11.960 you. And I don't even need to say it anymore. Like your, your words don't match your desire.
00:41:18.280 Right.
00:41:18.560 Your actions don't match your desire. You say you want wealth, but you act broke.
00:41:24.960 Do you think that it's people want to be healthy and be present as a father, but you act
00:41:30.720 differently. Right. And that's what I think is really beautiful about this is it's not hard
00:41:36.260 to buy a $26 million house. It's math. The question is, are you willing to do the work
00:41:40.880 to become the person? Are you willing to do the work to buy the white house on the anchors?
00:41:47.920 And then you get there, man. Let me hit the, uh, the pause button very, very quickly.
00:41:53.680 Uh, I've seen a tremendous uptick in new members of the iron council. That's our exclusive
00:41:58.680 brotherhood. And I can only imagine that the reason is because in times of uncertainty,
00:42:02.580 men look to bring stability in order to the chaos, to disorder. Uh, and that's exactly what
00:42:09.300 we're doing inside the iron council. We're giving you the tools and the framework to predictably.
00:42:14.280 It's very important to predictably and efficiently produce results in your life.
00:42:19.240 So if you're trying to start a business, uh, rekindle a romantic relationship,
00:42:24.880 bond with your kids, get rid of that spare tire that might be hanging around, around your
00:42:30.360 midsection, build wealth, uh, become more influential, get a promotion, whatever, whatever
00:42:35.480 your goal, your objective is, uh, the iron council, uh, has what you need to make that
00:42:40.700 a reality. And when you join with us, you'll get the tools and the framework that you need
00:42:44.600 to do what you've simply been daydreaming about doing for a very long time. So if you're
00:42:49.600 ready to get to work, join us, uh, we're not going to do anything for you, but we do have
00:42:54.780 a track record for you to run on, uh, and the accountability that comes from a brotherhood
00:42:59.360 of loyal and committed and successful men. So you can check that out at order of man.com
00:43:04.120 slash iron council. Again, that's order of man.com slash iron council. You can do that after
00:43:09.680 the show, including watching the new intro video for what the iron council is all about.
00:43:13.600 Again, order of man.com slash iron council. Do that after the show for now, I'll finish
00:43:17.620 things up with Sean. Do you think it's, um, I mean, when I, when I look at it, what I think
00:43:24.740 is, I think it's unrealistic expectations, right? I think that most people have an unrealistic
00:43:29.420 expectation that they can just show up or get lucky or that, you know, once they're, once
00:43:34.320 they're, their ship arrives, then they'll have made it. And it's just a series of fortunate
00:43:38.740 events. Is it that it's just a discrepancy between what they think it will take and what
00:43:44.400 it'll actually take that keeps people from charging forward? Cause everybody's capable
00:43:48.080 of this stuff, but they shut themselves off from it. Is it because there's a gap between
00:43:52.320 what they think and what is reality?
00:43:55.000 Um, I think that people are lazy. I think we've been programmed to be lazy. And I, and ever
00:44:00.460 since we were a little kid, um, we we've been indoctrinated, it's been beat into our brains
00:44:07.500 that somehow, some way, someone's just going to help us. And in many cases, some of us not
00:44:12.480 right. When you stop and think about it, like it's not difficult to build these things,
00:44:17.000 but what happens like last night, for example, it was a perfect night. Most people would not
00:44:23.060 have gone out and done it. It was raining. It was 30 something fucking degrees here in Utah.
00:44:26.640 Utah. It was just a shitty night. I was tired. Most people wouldn't get up and do it. And
00:44:31.960 logical conversation, which is actually illogical would be dude, it's raining. Look, if you go
00:44:37.980 to bed now, you can get a good night's sleep and you'll go even harder tomorrow. I said that
00:44:42.240 for years, right? I did it for years. I was that guy. And this is why I speak to it so much
00:44:47.620 nowadays. I was that guy. And most people listening to this, they're that guy when it gets really
00:44:55.000 fucking hard. We make an excuse and we take a different route. And the difference between
00:45:01.460 the guy that lives in the $26 million house, the guy that's got the freaking six pack and
00:45:05.700 is ripped is when that conversation comes, when the demons are in there bouncing around
00:45:09.580 going, sit down, just take a nap, lay on the couch, you'll be fine. It was a war last
00:45:14.700 night. I'm not shitting you. I was sitting on my couch dressed. I had two layers on. I
00:45:18.580 have my pants, pairs of pants. I'm a jacket. And I was literally having a war with myself.
00:45:24.140 And I can tell you the reason that I look the way that I look and I will not, I'm not
00:45:29.800 being presumptuous. I look fucking dope for 41 years old. The reason that I look that way
00:45:34.000 is because last night I made the decision to go. And that's the reason that I have the
00:45:38.880 business that I have and I have the resources that I have and I have the race car and I
00:45:43.800 do that shit. And I don't say it to be presumptuous to be a dick. I say it simply because people
00:45:47.940 need to understand that, that it is not fucking simple, right? Paper it is. You write
00:45:53.720 it all down. Here's my goals. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go to the gym
00:45:56.260 every day. We see this every year, every December, I'm going to the gym. I'm going to make fitness
00:46:01.220 a priority and one bump in the road, one little pulled muscle, one little fucking thing. And
00:46:07.560 what happens? Completely derailed. And then they're gone.
00:46:11.200 Right.
00:46:11.680 And then it's like, well, fuck, it's February. I'll do it next year. Next, next January, I'm
00:46:16.440 going to do it. And that's the difference between the champions. That's the difference between
00:46:20.980 the winners and the losers straight up. That's the difference between the six pack and the dad
00:46:25.980 vibe. That's the difference between the white house and the acreage and living in a fucking
00:46:29.900 apartment, living paycheck to paycheck. And I don't say this to be a dick, friends. I say this because
00:46:34.040 you need to hear this and it's fucking true. It's a hundred percent true. You show me a dude
00:46:38.860 who's ripped out of his mind. I will show you a dude that does more shit than you.
00:46:43.940 You show me a dude that has money in the bank, that ain't freaking out, that's not worried about
00:46:48.360 this Corona thing and all over the place. I will show you a dude that's willing to do more work
00:46:52.860 than you. I will show you a dude who just like last night, when most people would have tapped out
00:46:57.420 and like, I'm good, I'm done. There's a difference there. Right. That's what I think separates people
00:47:03.840 is we get to that threshold of pain and our mind says, stop. And most people stop. And that's when
00:47:10.840 all the victim stuff. And that's why people get depressed and I'm a piece of shit. I'm not
00:47:15.660 whatever, whatever. I'm this, I'm this, I'm this. No, you're not. You're just not willing
00:47:19.740 to go above that threshold because you know, Ryan, I know this. You've heard Andy, you've
00:47:23.740 heard Ed, fuck, you've heard everybody talk about this. If you can get over that hurdle
00:47:28.140 of pain, if you can push through that one round, you're dying. You're like, oh my God,
00:47:33.560 I'm going to die. My arms are going to fall off and get the shit kicked out of me. When you
00:47:36.300 hear that ding, ding, ding, ding, and the round's over, you're like, oh, you're tired, but you're
00:47:39.780 like, fuck, I did it. Yeah. You feel good. Okay. Let's do that shit again. Right.
00:47:44.460 I'm addicted to that. I'm addicted to that because when I got to my house last night,
00:47:50.080 I was wet. I was cold. I jumped in the shower and I'm sitting there like sitting in my shower
00:47:54.800 with hot water. I'm like, there's nothing I can't fucking do. And I'm talking to myself.
00:47:59.860 I'm crazy, calm, whatever. I got tons of voices in my head. I'm like, I'm a fucking bad son
00:48:04.700 of a bitch, dude. And I got out of the shower and I wrapped my towel around me and I looked
00:48:08.120 in the mirror and I'm fucking ripped. And I'm like, that's why you're ripped. And I'm just
00:48:12.100 telling you straight up. That's me. That's my own mind is like, I, when I cross that
00:48:16.400 threshold, it jams in me so much motivation and so much like power. This is why I talk
00:48:22.440 about how do you eat the elephant one bite at a time. If you're broke and you can make
00:48:27.040 $10, that's $10 more than you have. I'll do that again and then make 20 and then make
00:48:32.400 40 and then make 80. And the next thing you know, you're like, I can do this. Holy shit.
00:48:36.940 Hey, what does success breed? Success breeds success, period. If you want to be successful,
00:48:42.920 start with small successes. Start with small little victories. You have these small little
00:48:47.220 victories and you can make them bigger and bigger. It was a 45 minute walk, bro. I literally,
00:48:50.940 I put my weighted vest on. I went out and there's a park right down here and there's a loop.
00:48:54.780 And I look at my phone. Go for 45 minutes.
00:48:59.020 My daughter's called me twice. Hang on one second. Baby girl, I'm at the house. What's up?
00:49:04.120 You good? I'm on that podcast. Are you guys done? What are you doing?
00:49:11.840 Okay. I'll call you when I'm done. All right. Love you. Bye.
00:49:16.480 You know, it's funny. You got to take care of, you got to make sure everything's okay.
00:49:20.280 No worries. Does that make sense?
00:49:22.480 I know that you know this too, having done a gogi and other things like that.
00:49:26.740 Oh yeah. Yeah.
00:49:27.340 You're like my bot. Like this is why those reps yesterday for my client, like he could have
00:49:31.740 have the, you know, the, the, the assistance, but you got to prove to yourself.
00:49:37.520 Yeah. What are your thoughts on that?
00:49:38.840 Well, you're right. You know, we've had James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, Mark Manson,
00:49:43.360 the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving an F and Everything is F, both of them on the podcast.
00:49:48.260 And both of them actually talk about the same thing that you have to, you have to prove to yourself.
00:49:53.280 And every time that you take an action or don't take an action, you're validating who you are,
00:50:00.940 your identity. So if you don't do something, you know, you should be doing, then you're validating
00:50:06.560 your belief that you're a loser, a failure, a mess up, whatever. If you go out and do the walk
00:50:12.440 at 12 AM and get the thing done, then you validate to yourself that you're not a loser,
00:50:19.020 that you're somebody who honors his word, is committed, is disciplined, is physical,
00:50:23.940 is strong, yada, yada, yada. And so every time, regardless of how small, it doesn't matter
00:50:29.040 if it's go for a 45 minute walk or do an ultra marathon, your brain, I believe registers that at
00:50:36.260 the same, Oh, you won. It doesn't matter how small or how great you won the battle. And then therefore
00:50:41.980 you're more equipped to win subsequent battles. I completely agree. It's, it's when you have,
00:50:47.180 it's like, we talk about, you've heard this for years, like when's the best time to make a sale
00:50:50.900 right after you made another sale. Right. And the reason is, it's like when, when we're,
00:50:55.600 we're naturally surrounded by a lot of negative shit, negative people, negative media, negative
00:51:01.380 news. I mean, hell you get on anything. This is why I say it's so damn important to get losers out
00:51:06.140 of your life, to get negativity out of your life and surround yourself with positivity. This is why people
00:51:10.860 like say, dude, Sean, how do you deal with all the criticism and stuff and people? Cause it doesn't,
00:51:15.380 I'm not, I'm not there for that. That doesn't register to me. My level of confidence is 10,000
00:51:21.580 times further than where these people are. So when they mock me and say, won't you share
00:51:25.620 another shirtless picture? I'm like, okay. Yeah. Sounds good. Cause I look really fucking
00:51:31.580 good. Right. It almost like encourages me like to do it. I want to do it. Cause I love sharing
00:51:36.740 pictures. Cause I'm fucking ripped. And like last night as I'm sitting there, it wasn't me versus
00:51:41.300 Facebook or Instagram. It was like me sitting in the shower saying, dude, you like, you're a
00:51:46.320 badass man. You did that shit. Even though it was the walk, it was like my mind, that battle inside
00:51:51.480 of my mind. And that's where, where that's when to answer your question, like, why aren't people
00:51:56.480 getting results? Why aren't people doing that? Is they lose the battle in their mind, which is why
00:52:00.200 I'm constantly saying the same thing. How do you change it? Hire a coach, get into a mentoring
00:52:05.600 program, surround yourself with good people, fucking get good books, be filling your brain
00:52:12.100 with good content, good data. I mean, these are literally books that I pull from every single day.
00:52:17.780 Right. And this is, this, this is the path that you've been on that I've been on. This is how I've
00:52:23.020 done this. And it's little wins and little wins and little wins and little wins. And all of a sudden
00:52:29.200 it's like my confidence level, bro. Like I don't even, I don't even register these comments
00:52:34.880 anymore. I don't even register what these people say. It doesn't even matter at this
00:52:38.780 point. I'm in such a different plane right now. I'm in such a different level. And I
00:52:43.480 don't say that to be a dick. I say it because I want that. I built that. I built that. I
00:52:49.420 built it. I chose it. You chose the house. Nobody gave you the fucking house. Nobody's
00:52:54.500 like, Ryan, you're a sweet fella. Here's a house. No, you're like, I did that. And I think
00:53:00.220 what's, what's right. And you said this about Twitter before we got on.
00:53:04.880 You know, you, you share your wins. You share that celebratory feeling. You share that stuff.
00:53:09.240 You share those victories. And most people, it triggers the shit out of it because they
00:53:12.660 want it, but they're not willing to do what you did to get it. Right. They're not willing
00:53:16.560 to meet me at the park at 1230 in the morning to go do that walk. And so they don't have
00:53:21.360 the results that I have. And they get mad when they see me having it. It's really not that
00:53:24.840 hard friends. It's not. Well, and not only do they get mad, but the other thing that they
00:53:28.380 do, and this is a strategy you need to be very, very aware of it. If somebody is discounting
00:53:32.460 the amount of work that you did to achieve the results, you, you have to block that out.
00:53:36.640 I'll give you an example. Cause I've seen it for you specifically. How many people have
00:53:40.120 told you that you're on steroids over the, right? I knew you were going to say that
00:53:44.920 because they're discounting. That's a strategy to excuse their poor performance. They're discounting
00:53:51.600 what you did. And they're tell they're basically what they're saying is, well, the reason he
00:53:55.940 achieved the results is because he cheated, not because he earned them.
00:53:59.820 So let me use that. Let me use that logic. You want to really blow people. You want to
00:54:02.820 fucking twist up their panties right now. Cool. Cool. Awesome. I'm going to run with
00:54:07.820 that. Let's run with that friend. If that's true, if that's the case and I'm jacked because
00:54:13.240 I'm just sticking a needle in my ass. Why are you still fat?
00:54:18.040 Right? Yeah. Good point. Cause you can do the same thing.
00:54:20.520 Why are you still fat? Think through that logic. Oh, he's on steroids. You can go get
00:54:26.020 steroids. They'll fucking give it to you. You go down to the local fucking doctor. They'll
00:54:29.320 give you testosterone. They'll give you HGH, HCG, whatever the fuck that shit is. So if
00:54:34.740 that's the case, why are you still fat?
00:54:38.980 Yeah. Good point.
00:54:39.900 Watch what they say, bro. Watch what they, oh, steroids. You got to be on steroids. Like if
00:54:43.920 it was that, if it was that simple, don't talk about my body. The question is, why are you
00:54:48.700 still fat? If all it takes is sticking a needle in your ass, every man on in this would do
00:54:53.560 it. If it's as simple as just sticking a needle in your ass, every man in this country would
00:54:59.580 go find the fucking needle, wouldn't he? To look like me, every fucking man would go stick
00:55:05.520 a needle in his ass. And anybody who says, no, I wouldn't. You're a fucking liar. You're
00:55:09.320 a fucking liar.
00:55:11.780 That's a good point. It's a, it's, I mean, it's a good way to look at it because then it
00:55:15.780 It's true. It's true. Like I love reversing the logic. Let's just use your logic. If it's
00:55:21.300 as simple as sticking a needle in your ass, then why are you fat?
00:55:24.400 Yeah. It breaks down the argument. There's no, there's no validity to that argument anymore.
00:55:28.980 Zero.
00:55:29.680 Hey, so I don't have an answer to that.
00:55:31.240 Let me ask you this. Do you, do you consider yourself polarizing? Cause I'm, I'm saying
00:55:36.500 objectively, like you're a polarizing figure, you know, outside looking in you're polarizing.
00:55:41.540 Right. Do you consider yourself polarizing? Like how do you view yourself and the way you're
00:55:47.680 perceived? Um, there's two ways to, two answers to that. Um, number one, you've spent time around
00:55:55.780 me. Yeah. Am I any different in person than I am? No, not a bit. Yeah. Not a bit. No. And so
00:56:03.800 for me, like I, I didn't, I didn't start, I didn't wake up one day and go, you know what? I want
00:56:07.900 to be this social media fucking guy and figure and influencer or whatever the hell you want to
00:56:12.120 call it. I just started talking. I found me. I found my voice. I started opening up more. And the
00:56:17.860 more I opened up, the more I liked it. I like sharing my, my, this is like social media started
00:56:23.080 for me as like a journal of sorts because I was really angry. I was really bitter. I was the gossip
00:56:28.900 queen. I was the fucking drama queen. I was the one who was talking shit about my ex-wife and the
00:56:33.340 whole thing. And it was by me banging my head against the wall over and over and over again,
00:56:36.360 not getting good results that I hired a coach. And I'm like, I didn't want to hire a coach,
00:56:39.680 but what I was doing wasn't working. I wasn't getting the results that I wanted. I was angry.
00:56:44.540 My anger was not giving me more money. It wasn't getting me the relationships that I wanted.
00:56:48.700 And so in going down that path, his challenge to me was, dude, I want you to start studying
00:56:53.440 in the morning and I want you to start sharing that. And I did. And it changed the game for me.
00:56:57.820 And what's changed for me over the years, man, is I have become a lot more connected to who
00:57:03.800 I am. My entire life, and I won't spend too much time on this, but this is something that I'm,
00:57:08.600 I'm a huge advocate of exploring your mind. I mean, I know that, you know, like Joe Rogan and
00:57:13.500 Jason Silva and a lot of these other, Aubrey Marcus, a lot of conversation around like exploring
00:57:19.780 your mind and stealing fire, plant medicines, different things like this. Right. Over the last,
00:57:24.260 speaking of the book, I literally have a scenario. Over the last year and a half,
00:57:28.580 like I've, I've started exploring more of how do I get more connected to me? And I grew up in a,
00:57:34.200 in a single parent home. I grew up with an abusive father who was drunk, who, who like basically told
00:57:39.180 me I was a piece of shit my entire life. And I didn't have a lot of value in who I was. And so
00:57:43.500 in my early days, I was the yeller and the screamer because I was fucking scared and I needed to run
00:57:48.920 everybody over. And it was, it was, it was a very negative reality. And I think that's why I went
00:57:54.480 through my depression and why I almost blew my brains out after my divorce is because all of a
00:57:58.920 sudden, like I wasn't saying anything and there was no one around before in my, in my ego and in
00:58:05.980 my inferiority, I felt good in that. Right. And I, I've gone on this journey the last couple of years
00:58:12.560 in understanding who the fuck I really am and why I'm really here and not in some spiritual hippie
00:58:18.960 dippy way. Like, let's talk about Jesus all day long. But I realized like none of, none of you
00:58:23.900 matter. And people don't understand when I say that, like, you know, me, you've seen me like I
00:58:28.760 fucking love human beings, man. I love people. I get my shirt off my back to whoever, right?
00:58:33.420 Right. That's just true. I, my nature is like fucking love human beings. But I realized this is my
00:58:38.240 journey and my journey alone. And if I'm, if my emotions, if my words, if my voice are dictated by
00:58:46.300 sources of anything outside versus inside, then it's not really me. That's a hard, I mean,
00:58:52.420 again, we can go down the rabbit hole in this really, really, really deep, which is a really
00:58:55.340 beautiful conversation. We should do another podcast on this. But like the truth of the matter
00:58:59.220 is like, I fucking love who I am. And for most of my life, I always looked at myself as broken.
00:59:06.240 You're really good at these things, but you suck over here. And I realized that's how I was raised.
00:59:10.380 I'd go four for five in a baseball game. And my dad would, you know, all the kids are excited,
00:59:14.400 happy because we won. And my dad would be like, you shouldn't have swung at that pitch.
00:59:17.260 Oh, yeah.
00:59:18.300 And that's how I was raised is I was raised, especially in a religious community where it
00:59:22.460 was like, these things are really good, but you need to not have these things. You need
00:59:26.780 to shut these things off. You need to not say these words and you need to not talk like this
00:59:30.960 and you need to. And so this, my entire life, it was this battle of like trying to appease other
00:59:36.460 people, trying to say the things that would make everybody happy and do the things that would
00:59:41.360 not cause any confrontation or whatever, whatever. And I realized that I was miserable there.
00:59:46.800 And I think that's really what we're seeing in our culture is a lot of people, they say this to
00:59:50.520 you all the time. They say it to me all the time. Man, you say all the shit. I think I don't know
00:59:53.860 how to say it. I can't say it. It'll piss my wife off or it'll piss my pastor off. I can't say
00:59:59.720 any of these things.
01:00:00.540 Or I'll get fired. That's what I get. I love what you're saying. I can't say it because I'll get fired
01:00:04.300 or I'll bring criticism of my work.
01:00:07.060 Yeah. I hear the word polarizing all the time, but dude, this is me, man.
01:00:11.700 Like I'm, I'm, I love my fucking life. I mean, I have shitty days. I have days where I'm like,
01:00:16.600 dude, I want to punch everybody in the face. There's days where I'll just sit in my theater
01:00:19.260 room for four or five hours. Cause I feel shitty and I feel bad and feel like a piece of crap,
01:00:23.800 whatever, whatever. I have bad days all the time, but like I've grown to really, and I hope people
01:00:29.080 hear this like in the right context. I've really grown to love who I am, to love me. And, and I was
01:00:34.720 having, I went on a journey last year. I had one of my shamans that I was sitting next to
01:00:38.680 and she asked me a question and this is like kind of a personal story. I haven't
01:00:41.860 really shared this with very many people. Um, that's the gift of Ryan Mickler. He gets
01:00:47.180 like the deep shit out of Sean. All I have to do is be quiet and let you roll, man. You'll
01:00:51.080 just keep going forever. I like it. No, but I, you know, I, I'm opening up more on some
01:00:55.380 of these things and it's not that I'm not willing to share it cause I've shared a lot
01:00:58.420 of this stuff, but like I had a very, very, very special experience where I'm sitting next
01:01:02.600 to this, this shaman and she comes out and we're, we're having this really cool experience.
01:01:07.000 And she says to me, have you ever been loved? Have you ever felt loved? And it was weird.
01:01:13.120 Cause like I was having this kind of experience where my ego was like, sure. My mom loves me.
01:01:18.820 My dogs love my kids fucking love me. Everybody loves me. I mean, my friend Ryan Mickler loves
01:01:23.560 me. Everybody loves me. And it was weird because I sat there for a second and I had like, I
01:01:28.640 had a vision and I saw my entire life. And I saw like when I was a little kid to the baseball
01:01:34.140 to this, all the things with my dad to religion, to being a missionary. And I'm like, it was
01:01:39.460 weird. I just had this vision of this timeline of my life, like all the way to here, even my,
01:01:42.860 my marriage, my relationships. And it was like, I've always felt like love was conditional.
01:01:48.820 On me being something that I'm not, or me being something for other people. And then they would
01:01:54.160 love me. And really it was a fucking trip for me, man. And I think a lot of people might be
01:01:59.240 able to resonate with this. Like as we were kids, however you grew up, like love has always kind of
01:02:05.520 had a condition around it. I have to be this person and say these things in order for people to love
01:02:09.240 me. And I got really emotional. I turned and I looked at her. I was like, no. And I realized in
01:02:14.900 that moment that it wasn't about other people loving me. It was about me loving who I was.
01:02:19.160 It was about me accepting the light and the dark. It was about me accepting that there are days that
01:02:24.620 I just want to lay on my couch and have my woman tickle me. And there's other days that I want to
01:02:28.260 go fucking batshit crazy and rip everything to the fucking ground and build goddamn empires.
01:02:34.480 And it's like in my mind, in my soul, in my heart for years and years and years and years,
01:02:38.940 I was at war with that. Like it's got to be one or the other. People ask me, let's say this all the time.
01:02:43.400 Are you a cowboy today? Are you a race car driver? Like, what is this? Like, who are you? You're
01:02:49.220 always doing these different things. And one day you got a nice suit on. And the other day you got
01:02:52.360 a fucking American flag bikini on. Like, what the fuck? And really, dude, to answer your question,
01:02:58.280 over the last year, I have come to really, really, really know who I am and love who the hell I am.
01:03:04.360 And I realized that that might not make sense to a lot of people because a lot of people don't love
01:03:07.840 who they are. And this isn't about just verbal, yeah, I love who I am because that's who I was.
01:03:13.180 I would say that. And in my place of scarcity, I would have just turned to my Sean and be like,
01:03:17.860 oh, sure, of course. Yeah, I fucking love you.
01:03:20.300 Because you're supposed to be that way.
01:03:22.180 Yeah, I really thought about it. And I realized that I had never really felt love
01:03:26.860 or loved because I didn't love who I was. And so the last, I mean, and here's how I know that
01:03:33.140 I resonate with this. And this is like, my truth is because I've had a lot of people over the last
01:03:38.220 12 months specifically say, dude, like things are changing. You look happier. You look better,
01:03:45.480 not just physically, but like, I've had a lot of people message me that. And it's really flattering.
01:03:50.000 I don't need that. It's just kind of data, right? Jesse Elder talks about data and how everything
01:03:54.680 is just an experience and data. And I'm taking this data and it's like, well, obviously it must be like
01:03:59.040 putting something out into the marketplace for people to think that or feel that way,
01:04:02.760 because that's how I feel. I feel better, you know? And so for me, call it polarizing,
01:04:08.400 call it whatever you want. Like, I love who the hell I am. I know who I am. I'm confident in who
01:04:14.120 I am. And I feel like the more I go down that rabbit hole, the bigger the message gets, the more
01:04:20.940 people I'm connected to, like better I feel, you know what I mean? And it, and it's polarizing to
01:04:26.380 people because most people aren't there. Right. Case in point, the coronavirus thing, I said shit five
01:04:31.340 weeks ago that no one said that no one wanted to say it's cool and everybody's saying it,
01:04:37.920 but I was, it's okay now to talk about it. And I didn't back from it. I didn't run from it. Cause
01:04:42.020 that was true. Like that was God's honest. That was exactly how I felt exactly what I saw
01:04:46.460 and I didn't run from it. And, and, and, you know, so I think what a lot of people are looking for is
01:04:52.720 that reality is being okay with who they are, how they feel knowing that, you know, Andy talks about
01:04:57.960 this a lot, having depression, like having depressed days. Like we talk about it as it's
01:05:03.120 this negative and it's real. There's a lot of people that fucking have it. There's a lot of
01:05:06.120 people that struggle with millions and you're not alone in that. And so I feel like me being who I
01:05:12.500 am and getting deeper and deeper and deeper into really loving me and going inward has helped not
01:05:19.260 only me feel better and, but it's also helped the message grow. It's also helped a lot of people
01:05:23.500 find lions, not sheep and find the message, which in turn helps liberate them in a way and open them
01:05:29.960 up. And we'll, it's like, and you know, from permission, like this is really what coaching is.
01:05:33.620 They're watching you live a life and they're like, well, if Ryan can do it, then I can do it.
01:05:37.120 Right.
01:05:37.400 If Ryan can say it, then I can say it. If Ryan can buy the white house and, and, and have the
01:05:41.680 beautiful wife and the family, then I can do it. If Sean can go from a fat lard to ripped,
01:05:46.780 then I can do it. And, and it's a beautiful thing, man. So I, I've never truthfully,
01:05:51.480 and I don't say this in jest. I don't say this arrogantly. I've never felt better.
01:05:56.260 I've never felt better about my life, about who I am, my connection to deity,
01:06:00.640 like my connection to my children, emotionally, psychologically, physically, I've never felt this
01:06:05.520 good.
01:06:06.860 Yeah. It looks like it, man. Physically, mentally, emotionally, you know, there's times in our
01:06:11.740 relationship where I've thought to myself, man, Sean, like Sean's dealing with some stuff right now.
01:06:15.860 Like Sean's, Sean's in a, Sean's in a place right now, you know, and just to see you over
01:06:20.780 the past, even six months, man, to see where you've come from and where, where you're going.
01:06:25.160 And it's inspiring to me. How do you, how do you strike the balance between self-love, self-care
01:06:32.420 and knowing that you're not there yet, right? That there's, you're talking about, Hey, I want to
01:06:39.300 become a machine, for example. So we'll just isolate that element. You're not there yet, right?
01:06:43.820 You're on the path. You're not there yet. So how do you love yourself and know that you
01:06:47.200 have more room to grow?
01:06:48.740 Going back to, to Ed, what Ed says, you know, um, I really like it. It's, it's a, it's a hard
01:06:54.880 thing to really wrap your head around, but being blissfully dissatisfied. Cause I think people
01:07:00.280 believe it has to be one or the other. You either have to be this really subtle, um, quiet church
01:07:06.200 mouse of a soul, or you're this raging lunatic. And the reality is there's some days I'm super
01:07:11.480 chill. I'm super quiet. And there's some days I'm raging fucking lunatic. Um, and I think
01:07:16.040 the, the, what's really interesting is, is knowing that you can do more, you know what
01:07:22.860 I mean? Like one of my, my trainer, his wife is number three in the world. She took third
01:07:28.560 place, fourth place, third place or fourth place in Mr. Olympia. She's a specimen, specimen
01:07:35.200 of a human being, right? Just as ripped and physique as possible. And the second she came
01:07:41.300 home from the Olympics, she's like, I want to do this, this, this, this, and this to
01:07:44.640 change, to get better.
01:07:46.700 Right.
01:07:46.740 And I look at my life the same way as it's like, I don't, the more I learned, the more
01:07:50.600 I realized I don't know anything. The more I learned, the more I realized like how little
01:07:54.960 I really know, you know what I'm saying? And that's a good thing. I feel like that's the
01:08:00.400 humility aspect of things where I'm constantly wanting to learn and to grow. But to me, it's
01:08:05.460 like knowing that, like when I talk about a GI Joe, I know what I built before. I'm like,
01:08:11.940 okay, well, what else can I build now? I want to build something better. You know what I
01:08:15.500 mean? Like I took my business this route and I made a million dollars here. I want to make
01:08:21.140 two million dollars here. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's not the greed. It's not
01:08:25.180 like, again, this is where people go back to that complacency saying I have enough.
01:08:29.560 Right. Like I got in okay shape and I'm going to stay here. No, dude. It's like my body is
01:08:35.020 not the same as it was a year ago, let alone five or 10. And it's sure as shit not going
01:08:38.480 to be different tomorrow. We're, we're constantly evolving. You and I, our brains are, are, are
01:08:43.540 morphing. Like that's the thing that's really cool about life is like there's a season for
01:08:48.400 everything. Right. And, and it might be a season of pain. It might be a season of pleasure.
01:08:52.260 It might be a season of this. It might be a season of darkness. It might be a season of
01:08:55.000 light, but like, that's the thing that's dope is it's always changing. And I think what
01:08:59.000 we've been programmed to believe and to think is like, it's just this universal line. You're born
01:09:04.160 live, live, live, live, live, live, live. You might have a little spike here. You get cancer
01:09:07.960 and then you die. Right. Me. It's like, no dude, like let's go here. Now let's go over here. Let's
01:09:13.080 go over here. And all of that's possible. It's really possible. Like I looked at a GI Joe figure
01:09:19.420 and I'm like, I want to look like that. Why can't I? Right. Like, why can't I make this money? Why
01:09:25.800 can't I have this business? Why can't I live in that house? And I think to me, it's, it's really
01:09:32.900 encapsulating that and understanding that like, I'm going to be different tomorrow than I am today.
01:09:38.120 Cause I'm going to have the knowledge from today. Right. What am I going to do with it? You know what
01:09:42.640 I mean? And it's that constant leveling up and growing and expanding and testing things. Your body's
01:09:47.000 like a Petri dish. Just to give you a perfect example, your body is, is literally dying and
01:09:52.360 being reborn all the time. Your nails, your skin, your hair, like it dies and regrows. It's like,
01:09:57.560 you start looking at yourself. It's almost like a science experiment. I know it sounds really funny.
01:10:02.240 It's a good way to look at it. I got my blood done. I get my blood done quarterly and I sit down
01:10:06.460 with my doctor and we look at my levels and figure out where I'm at. And I'm like, well, here's how I'm
01:10:10.280 feeling. Like, what can I do here? Like I'm feeling down or tired or I'm not sleeping well. And like,
01:10:15.300 most people don't give a shit about that. Right. They're, they're more focused on their 40. And
01:10:19.960 I know you're an old financial planner, but like your 40 year game plan, like I might not even live
01:10:24.240 two years. I want to optimize today. Right. But think about your body. Every person that's listening
01:10:29.320 to this, your body is literally like a fucking science experiment. We're all different. Your body's
01:10:34.700 different than mine. Your, your, your chemical makeup, what makes you fat might make me skinny.
01:10:39.360 What, you know what I'm saying? If people stopped and started looking at themselves that way,
01:10:43.840 my bank account, my business, my relationship, like, honey, let's try these things. Right.
01:10:50.260 Like, let's try this. Let's go to this thing. Let's go to a thing. Let's buy a jungle gym for
01:10:55.800 the fucking bedroom. Like we're, we're constantly like, there's so much out there that we don't know
01:11:01.320 that can help us, that can help us grow and expand, not just in our mind, but physically. And
01:11:06.060 like that shit excites me. You know what I'm saying? I do.
01:11:09.440 I think most people, they get scared by that because it has to take them out of that linear
01:11:14.320 reality. You know what I mean? Which is why most people don't start a business. You know, this
01:11:18.080 is scared to start a business. If you're working a nine to five and you've got a nine to five job
01:11:22.760 and you're good at your job and you want to go start something, most people won't ever leave
01:11:27.660 that. Cause they're like, Oh, there's security over here. Well, the reality is like, if you're good at
01:11:31.560 that and you go out here and it doesn't work, then you just go back, just go back to it.
01:11:34.540 Right. If you're that good, just go back to it. But what if you never do? And you're constantly
01:11:40.440 living with that heaviness or that weight or that, uh, that trepidation of I should go do it.
01:11:45.860 Right. We did the same thing. What, since we've been out here, uh, for 10 months now,
01:11:49.360 I had people when we were moving out here, Oh, how could you do that? I could never do that.
01:11:52.560 I can blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, how could you not do it? We have this
01:11:56.520 opportunity. You know, we, we put a lot of time, hundreds of thousands of dollars into this place.
01:12:00.840 I pulled my kids out of school away from their friends. My wife from the only home she's known,
01:12:05.900 we lived in the house that her grandfather built and we still own the place, but we left that.
01:12:13.440 And her family was mad at her because somebody else is living in that house now, our renters.
01:12:19.320 Right. And then we pulled our kids away and they're all disappointed and sad. Like there's
01:12:23.680 sacrifices that we made to be out here, but how could we not do it? Like, Oh, what,
01:12:29.100 what if it doesn't work out? Then we have a cool, cold adventure for 10 months and we move our
01:12:34.100 asses back to Utah and we fall right back into that little assembly line that we've been led to
01:12:38.700 believe is the path we need to walk. We can always go back to that, but we can't always deviate from
01:12:44.940 the path. Like these opportunities don't always present themselves. And when they show up,
01:12:49.780 you better take advantage of them.
01:12:51.860 Cause one day you won't be able to.
01:12:53.640 True.
01:12:53.940 This is something that I talk to people about frequently is I'm not morbid. Okay. I don't
01:12:58.520 wake up and go, I'm like, I'm going to die. I don't, I don't live like that. I'm actually
01:13:03.480 exact, exact opposite. I'm like, I'm going to die. So dude, until I fucking do, I'm all
01:13:08.660 in let's go. Right. But I want, I mean, really think about this. This is something that over
01:13:13.600 the last year and a half specifically, um, I've really started thinking about is I'm, I really
01:13:18.360 think I think about death a lot and not in a negative cold way, but I think about like,
01:13:24.020 I'm, I'm constantly reminded and I'm seeing over and over and over again, like my ticket's
01:13:27.520 going to be punched. Right. And people ask me all the time, what's your biggest fear?
01:13:31.080 My biggest fear is something happening to one of my children. Right. That's number one
01:13:34.620 for me. There's nothing that terrifies me more than that. But I've, I've had this vision
01:13:38.800 of my death many times and it's me laying on my deathbed. And the reality is I'm never going
01:13:46.380 to make it there. Right. I'm never going to die on a deathbed. I'm going to fucking
01:13:49.160 blow myself up with too much Tannerite or drive my race truck off a cliff or something
01:13:52.520 crazy. I shoot one open. I'm not going to be, I don't think I'll be like an old ass
01:13:58.060 man drinking my dinner through a straw, but I've had this vision over and over and over
01:14:02.260 again that scares the shit out of me, which really pushes me every single day to do what
01:14:09.180 I want to do. And it's, it's me knowing that God put, you know, ideas in my brain
01:14:14.100 passion and passion in my soul. And I squandered it. I didn't do anything with it. I didn't
01:14:19.560 say the words that he told me to say or do the things he told me to do. Cause I was worried
01:14:22.880 about what you would say or he would say, or they would say, or mom would say, or dad
01:14:27.860 would say that fucking terrifies me, dude. Like really vision that like literally imagine
01:14:33.720 laying on your deathbed, knowing that you had all of these opportunities to play catch
01:14:40.580 with your kids, to go on that vacation, to do those things, to start that business.
01:14:44.360 And now in that moment, the only thing, the only thing that you would want, like more than
01:14:53.040 money, more than anything else, like is an option. And now you don't have that option.
01:14:58.720 You're laying on your deathbed. You can't go make love to your woman. You can't go back
01:15:02.580 and ride jet skis with your kids. You can't go back and race the Baja 1000 with your kids.
01:15:07.100 You can't go back and build the tree for it. You can't, you're literally dumb, dude. I don't
01:15:12.080 know about you, but like, I've had that vision multiple times and it scares the shit out of
01:15:16.540 me. That's like what motivates me. People ask me, how do you, how do you do all these
01:15:19.320 things? Like at that point in time in the game, the money doesn't, none of that, none
01:15:23.180 of that matters. The reality is I can't go back now and do anything. I could die with a billion
01:15:28.800 dollars, a billion dollars and be in my deathbed. And I can't buy any of that. And I think
01:15:35.640 what I realized in going through my divorce and my bankruptcy and almost ending my life
01:15:39.740 was like, as I kind of rebuilt 2.0 Sean, which was before like build this business and then
01:15:44.800 try and live life. I was like, no, I'm going to build a life and then build a business to
01:15:48.120 support the opportunity. Cause I was in Mexico racing the Baja 500 with my son last year.
01:15:54.260 And this guy comes up, Oh, Sean, well, you've already shared this. Oh, dude, I've been following
01:15:57.680 you on Instagram. It's great to meet you, whatever, whatever. He's like, man, this has been
01:16:00.340 on my bucket list to race this with my son for years. I was like, well, why don't you
01:16:04.960 do it? Well, I got two kids in college, you know, we're retirement and we're, my wife and
01:16:09.200 I are wanting to buy a condo and we want to retire and all these other things. And I said
01:16:14.100 to him, I said, dude, I can introduce you to a company down here that for 15 grand, we'll
01:16:20.880 get you the race car, the gear, the whole thing, race support. They'll fill it up. They'll
01:16:25.220 fucking help you get to the finish line. I said, would you even notice if your fifth,
01:16:30.880 your 401k or your IRA or your retirement account was 15 grand later tomorrow? Would you even
01:16:35.940 notice? He's like, probably not. I said, that's the difference between me and you is that I
01:16:41.100 realized that I'm not going to have another opportunity and this is the year. And then
01:16:45.260 there'll be next year. And then eventually you won't be able to race it. Eventually your
01:16:48.840 body won't be able to do it or something will happen or whatever the circumstance may be.
01:16:54.100 And no matter how much money you have, you won't be able to go do it. And I think that's
01:17:00.060 the mentality that like I shifted into a couple of years ago when I realized like, it's not
01:17:05.380 about money. It's not about the house. It's not about these things. It's like, I want
01:17:09.240 to be able to die knowing I did everything I wanted to do. I said everything I wanted to
01:17:13.000 say. And it might sound cheesy, cliche to some people, but it's so, it rings in my brain
01:17:20.820 every single day, which goes to your other question, like polarizing. I would be remiss
01:17:24.900 if, if, if I didn't say the things that came into my mind, cause I know where they come
01:17:28.380 from. And the shit that comes into my heart, like sending the messages and interacting with
01:17:34.480 people and being a good neighbor and being a good, a good son and father, like that's
01:17:40.280 the stuff that comes into my heart. And dude, if I don't do anything with it, then I mean,
01:17:44.740 as a Christian, man, you, you believe like some point in time, maybe I just won't have that
01:17:47.620 anymore. I won't have these revelations. I won't have this inspiration, but the thing
01:17:51.440 I'm the most terrified of is knowing that I'm going to die. And every person listening
01:17:55.700 to this is going to die. And it's not about how big of a race truck you can get, but what
01:18:00.020 if it's just taking your kid fishing? You know, I was talking to my mom not too long
01:18:04.580 ago and you know, another kind of personal story. We were actually out at the race and I
01:18:09.400 said to her, I said, did dad ever, did I ever do guys night with dad? Did dad ever do like,
01:18:14.580 cause I was racking my brain thinking to myself, like I never fished. I never hunted. I never
01:18:18.360 rode dirt bikes. I never played catch with my father. And I was asking my mom, I'm like,
01:18:22.700 am I just not remembering it or what? And she got really emotional. She said, no. I mean,
01:18:27.780 basically my entire existence with my father is he woke up, he woke up at 4am before my brother and
01:18:32.120 I woke up, went to school. He got home at six or seven o'clock at night from work and he got drunk
01:18:37.240 every night. And that was my father. That was my upbringing. That was my, that was my youth.
01:18:41.420 That was my childhood. That's those are, that's what I remember about my father. And at the end
01:18:46.060 of the day, like I realized, like, I don't, I remember that. That's what I remember. I don't
01:18:52.460 remember a lot of the things he said. I remember what he did. And so I want to live a life where
01:18:55.940 when I'm on my deathbed, I'm laying there. I'm just like, well, see you later kids. Like
01:19:00.900 that was a fucking fun ride. And I don't have anything else to say. I don't have to go. Oh my God,
01:19:05.560 sons, listen, you've got to be good men and you got to like love women and you got to open up
01:19:08.920 door. I don't want to do that. I just want to fucking know that I played all in and my kids
01:19:13.020 already know that. Right. Instead of leaving my kids a shit ton of money, I want to leave the world
01:19:17.760 three independent children to make their own money and build their own dreams that are living their
01:19:22.280 own reality. And the only way for them to do that is to watch me do that. I can talk shit all day long
01:19:28.840 and I can hypothecate about that. But the only way that I can legitimately do that is to show them
01:19:33.340 that. Right. That video that you did, I think it was a couple of years ago now with your son
01:19:38.280 that was, I think it was titled, I can, I can tell him or I can show them something along those lines.
01:19:44.140 That is probably one of the most powerful videos that I've ever watched. Like it hit me that deep
01:19:49.140 because that's so true. Like show him, live it, be with him or her, like be involved. I think, um,
01:19:56.440 you were talking about Ed Milet earlier. I think he's the one that said something to the effect of
01:20:02.400 hell is having to meet the man that you could have been when you die. Something along those lines.
01:20:10.740 Imagine that. Really vision that for every single person listening to this. Like vision that. Imagine
01:20:16.140 that. Like vision yourself on your deathbed. One of the things that we do with the Lions Not
01:20:22.400 Sheep experience is we have guys write their own obituaries. It's a scary thing. It's an interesting
01:20:28.020 proposition to actually imagine writing your obituary right now. Like, what would your wife
01:20:32.900 say? What would your woman say? What would your family say about you? Because the obituary is
01:20:37.620 describing your life and who you are and all of these other things. But at the end of the day,
01:20:41.560 like, but what would that look like? Does that make sense? Hang on. Yeah.
01:20:45.600 Please. Oh, it's the UPS guy. Anyways, when you stop and think about that, it's,
01:20:51.860 it's scary, man, which is why I live the life that I do. You know what I mean? Is I realized I
01:20:58.620 might not get another chance at this conversation with my son or my daughter. I might not get another
01:21:04.140 Baja race. Yeah. I mean, it's a, it's a scary proposition, but it can be used as fuel to do the
01:21:11.300 right thing. Well, Sean, I had other plans to talk about coronavirus and all these other crazy things.
01:21:17.560 Maybe we'll do a round two. There's no time limit on this ship.
01:21:22.420 Maybe we'll do a, a round two here in the very near future to talk about that. Cause we do need
01:21:27.380 to address some of this stuff. Yeah. Hey, um, before we go and wrap things up today, let me ask
01:21:32.660 you a couple other questions. The first one, what does it mean to be a man?
01:21:39.720 Just look at me. That's it. Here I am. I don't remember what I answered last time. It'd be
01:21:46.200 interesting to see because I know you're asking that question. Yeah. We'll have to go back.
01:21:48.700 I think, uh, being a man is being able to look at yourself in the mirror and be a damn fucking
01:21:55.140 proud of who you are. I like that. Knowing who you are and being damn proud of who you are.
01:22:02.760 Right on. How do we connect with you, man? Where do we got to go?
01:22:06.240 Social media, Google. Find you. We can find you. We'll shake everything up.
01:22:09.780 Sean Whalen. Y'all know, y'all know the game, man.
01:22:12.100 Instagram is, uh, you've got, uh, you've got almost a hundred thousand people. I think I saw
01:22:17.100 following you connected with you on Instagram. Super cool. Thank you. Um, to everybody for the
01:22:22.800 support. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. I just said on Instagram. Here's what I think is, you know,
01:22:30.300 I've really appreciated who you are, how you've shown up. I don't always agree with you. Um,
01:22:35.140 but I think overwhelmingly I'm, I'm inspired by the fact that you're willing to share what you
01:22:39.460 believe you're willing to stand by it. You're willing to honor what you believe, fight for
01:22:43.140 what you believe. Um, and, and at a minimum, at a minimum challenge people to think differently
01:22:49.860 about their life, the way that they're showing up, how they're showing up, what they're doing.
01:22:55.900 And, and if that's the minimum that you're doing, like that's a damn good thing. You know what I mean?
01:23:01.100 We need to ask more questions, man. Men especially need to ask more questions. We need to be more
01:23:05.560 engaged in, in exploration and trying to flex our, you know, our ego and our pride. There's,
01:23:11.380 there's like the very best leaders have mastered the art of following. And if you want to be a
01:23:17.480 better leader, if you want to be a lion, if you want to be a man, if you want to like lead your
01:23:21.060 family, you've got to like ask more questions. You've got to be able to follow dictates of God
01:23:26.820 of whatever it is, you know? And that's something that's super, super, super important to me.
01:23:31.040 Right on brother. Well, we'll let you go. Love you brother. Appreciate all you do.
01:23:33.760 Appreciate you, man. We'll talk soon.
01:23:37.540 Gentlemen, there you go. The one and only Sean Whalen. I'm sure for a lot of you,
01:23:41.120 he may have rubbed you the wrong way, probably in a good way, hopefully in a good way in that
01:23:46.400 you're thinking about things a little differently. And that's why I wanted to have this conversation
01:23:50.360 with Sean, because you know, it's, it's, it's, it's nice to have the comfortable conversations,
01:23:55.380 the ones that just go exactly right and don't challenge the way that you think about life, but
01:23:59.540 that's not going to produce any results. And that's why you're here, right? That's why
01:24:02.880 you're listening to this podcast. That's why you're engaged in the battle to, to reclaim
01:24:06.380 and restore masculinity is, is to be challenged and pushed and motivated and inspired and
01:24:11.640 thinking about life in a different way. So if you enjoyed the conversation, let Sean and
01:24:15.680 myself know on the socials, you can find Sean on Facebook. I think that's where he's most
01:24:21.340 active over on Facebook, but also Instagram as well. And then let me know what you thought
01:24:27.120 about the show. Hit me up on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, wherever all at Ryan Mickler.
01:24:33.420 And let us know what you're thinking about the, the lineup of guests that we've had on lately,
01:24:37.120 which I think has been pretty good. But of course I'm a bit biased guys outside of that. Make sure
01:24:42.140 you check out the iron council. That's our exclusive brotherhood. I talked to you about a little
01:24:45.260 earlier in the middle of the show. So make sure you check that out. Order of man.com slash iron
01:24:49.200 council. And also again, do me a solid, go in, leave a rating and review. All right, do that.
01:24:55.300 Stop everything that you're doing right now, pull out your phone or your app or whatever you're at
01:24:59.600 and just click five stars. Tell people what you think about the show. I think we've got 4,100
01:25:06.560 reviews. It should be like 10,000 by now, at least. So guys go in there, leave a rating review really
01:25:13.200 helps. All right. That's all I've got. We will be back tomorrow for the ask me anything with my
01:25:17.380 co-host, Mr. Kip Sorensen. Make sure you subscribe because we've got a killer lineup coming up soon.
01:25:22.100 And you want to be aware of those when they drop. All right, guys, we'll be back again
01:25:26.500 tomorrow. But until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
01:25:31.760 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
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