Order of Man - The Pros and Cons of Tribalism, The Meaning of Life, and Developing Grit in Your Children

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Mr. Kip Sorensen, what's up brother? We're trying new things here,

00:00:27.820 man. I think a couple of weeks ago, we were live on YouTube. Today, we're live on Facebook. In our

00:00:33.000 Facebook group, I should say. You got to join our Facebook group if you want to check these things

00:00:36.380 out live. I like it. We're innovating. Innovation. What it's all about. That's best. Yep. That's what

00:00:42.020 it's all about. Everything going good for you? Good. Good, man. Unfortunately, like you, this COVID-19

00:00:50.100 thing hasn't really affected me much, if anything, where it's just pivoting. Let's be frank. That's

00:00:55.860 how all of us should be dealing with this is pivoting, adjusting, and doing what we need to do

00:01:00.500 to stay effective and to adjust. Yeah. Yeah. That pivot is a good thing anyways. And these types of

00:01:06.060 interesting times breed innovation and new ideas and new thoughts and cause you to think about your

00:01:11.740 life and how you're showing up and the things that you're doing. So I certainly experienced that

00:01:15.700 because it's just, yeah, it's just time to mix things up. So it's good to be in that position.

00:01:21.200 Cool, man. Should we get into the questions? Yeah, let's do it. All right. These, uh, since

00:01:27.020 we're on Facebook, why don't we start with the Facebook questions? Uh, because we're here answering

00:01:32.040 those questions and I'm pretty sure we're live on Facebook. I don't know if it's working or not,

00:01:36.040 but you know, do you want me to hop on over there and to give it a whirl, give it a check?

00:01:40.880 No. Well, maybe, maybe when I'm, uh, I'm riffing on a, on a question, I'm on my soapbox or something

00:01:45.640 like that. Actually, no, I just saw a comment come up. So we are live on Facebook. So we're good

00:01:49.740 to go. Oh, uh, here we go. Right. Here we go. Don't mess up. PG only PG only. All right. Good

00:01:56.320 luck on that. Well, and thanks for doing, pulling an audible there and saying, Hey,

00:01:59.780 we're switching to Facebook. I'm like, Oh, I never thought I would get to those questions. So let me

00:02:03.060 hop on over there. Oh, sorry. I should have told you. It's fine. I'm just looking for excuses for my

00:02:08.760 lack of effectiveness. All right, here we go. So John Kale. Okay. What, what programming do you

00:02:16.360 use in your home gym programming? I'm not quite sure what he means by that. Are you solely in a

00:02:21.040 home gym now that you're in Maine or do you still go into the box aside from jujitsu? Yeah. So

00:02:27.620 programming is talking about my training regimen. That's what he's referring to. So I, I, uh, I do a

00:02:32.980 lot of just like my own programming, what I think is good, what I like to do and just kind of mix it up

00:02:37.880 that way. Uh, so that's one thing I do. Um, I just started working with a member actually of

00:02:42.360 our Facebook group. His name is Josiah Novak. So he is my coach. I just hired him, uh, last week.

00:02:48.620 So I've only gone through, I think three training sessions with him at this point. Okay. My goal

00:02:53.980 really is to build and develop strength at this point. So I've lost a lot of weight over the past

00:02:57.960 month or so. Uh, and yeah, like I said, right now is my goal is to, to build muscle density,

00:03:04.340 strength. And, uh, hopefully when I get back to jujitsu, I may not be as technical as the other

00:03:09.780 guys, but I want to be stronger than all of them. So I'll be able to crush their face. Even if I don't

00:03:14.380 have the choice. Yeah, man, you're, what is it? The insult, man, you're really strong.

00:03:18.900 Yeah, totally. That's, that's, I want that insult. I want that insult.

00:03:23.920 It's the only thing I'll have coming out of six weeks of quarantine and no jujitsu under my belt

00:03:29.080 for that amount of time. So, yeah, well, and that goes for a lot of us, not training. So

00:03:33.400 let me ask you, do you, do you find that difficult to kind of go off and riff on your programming

00:03:40.160 versus having sentence, something set in stone? Because we tell guys sometimes that like have

00:03:45.440 a regimen. So that way, when you go to the gym, you don't overthink it. You don't have to like,

00:03:49.400 Hmm, what should I do? And you waste time. So there's that there is certainly that, uh, the thing,

00:03:54.260 the trap that I fall into when I do my own programming is taking it too easy on myself.

00:03:59.020 So that it's not that I won't do it. It's not that I spend a bunch of time thinking about what

00:04:03.920 should and shouldn't be done. It's that I just take it way too easy on myself and having somebody

00:04:09.560 else, an objective party program it and tell me to push harder and tell me what prescribed weight

00:04:14.540 based on other things I've done pushes me harder than me just doing it by myself. I mean,

00:04:19.300 that's the power of accountability, whether it's in the iron council or being accountable to your wife

00:04:23.820 and kids or friends, friends in the community, the fact that they will push you harder than yourself

00:04:30.040 because they're not tied to your baggage and your head trash. And the things that you're telling

00:04:35.160 yourself is going to help you push further than you would alone. So having mentors, having

00:04:40.120 accountability, having a band of brothers, having coaches paying for those coaches. Uh, in fact,

00:04:45.620 I'm in the market right now. I'm talking with a couple of different coaches, uh, with regards to

00:04:49.540 business specifically, and I'm considering spending a lot of money for business coaching.

00:04:53.820 Because I know I'll, I'll write that check and I know that they're going to push me harder

00:04:57.980 outside of my comfort zone than I would just do by myself. So, yeah.

00:05:02.400 Well, it's interesting how we don't even think certain things are possible.

00:05:07.260 Right. Right. Like my, my strength and conditioning coach, when he gives the regimen on the board,

00:05:11.540 I'm like, uh, I would have never thought that was like, I laugh right when he tells me the rep

00:05:17.320 count and begin, uh, yeah, I don't even know if that's even plausible. So there's no way I would

00:05:22.000 have even come up with that on my own. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And plus you're weak. So, you know,

00:05:26.900 that, that, that adds to it. But my technique is true. This is true. I'm just joking. All right.

00:05:36.080 Justin the cuff. I know you use the battle planner, but is there anything else that you use to track

00:05:41.720 daily tasks like workouts, reading mills and et cetera, something more detailed? Uh, no,

00:05:48.000 not really. I mean, I use the battle planner for things. There's certain things I don't need to

00:05:52.100 track. Like I don't need to track my meals. Yeah. And I realized some people do, maybe they want to

00:05:57.860 weigh their protein and they want to have the right portions. I don't do that. I don't need to do that.

00:06:02.560 I can be pretty disciplined on that. And I'm not saying I'm better than somebody else because of

00:06:06.000 that. I'm just saying that isn't an issue. We're all different. Right. Uh, so yeah, that's,

00:06:10.700 that's nothing I track. Um, I use, I use Josiah's, uh, training program app for tracking weight and all

00:06:17.280 that stuff. So it just documents it. He said you have like PRs and stuff. Exactly. Yeah. So he'll

00:06:21.760 send the program. I write in there. Okay. I did 10 reps at, you know, 135 pounds or whatever. Right.

00:06:26.300 And then it'll track it all for me. And it'll tell me what I did yesterday so I can try to beat it

00:06:30.920 again today. Uh, what other tracking programs? Yeah. Not, not really. That's really about it. You

00:06:38.820 know, the, the strength training program, I'm just trying to think on my phone, like what other apps

00:06:43.060 that I have? Oh, you know, because I'm playing the guitar a little bit more, there's a program I've

00:06:47.320 been using called musician. And that's a cool program because it tracks how much time I put in

00:06:54.500 on a daily basis and how I'm progressing, what chords I've learned and what I learned throughout

00:07:00.300 the week. So like stuff like that, you know, just apps based on things that I enjoy and like to do,

00:07:05.000 but for my daily activities, the things that I'm trying to program into, into habit, as James clear

00:07:10.740 would say, uh, in, in atomic habits, like programming it into habit. Uh, those are the

00:07:16.760 things that I track via my battle planner. Copy. And for you guys, Justin, you are, you obviously

00:07:22.300 know this because you're using a battle planner, but for people that don't know that battle planner

00:07:25.880 has a section for note taking for tracking some tasks. It's not just your objectives and your

00:07:31.760 tactics. So that's why, you know, that lends itself to work really well with just whether

00:07:37.460 it's maintaining, what does Andy for Zilla call is, is powerless or whatever could potentially

00:07:41.940 work in the battle planner. Why? Because it has that section in there. So, right. Uh,

00:07:46.480 well, apparently Facebook live is no longer working cause we are no longer live on Facebook.

00:07:50.640 So, all right. Well, I guess we're done. See you guys. Call it a day. We answered two questions.

00:07:55.740 We're done. I don't know why it ended, but it did. So we'll have to try again. Maybe next week.

00:08:00.040 Oh, we must've said something inappropriate. We got blocked.

00:08:02.260 Not we, not we, you, you let's get this right. Although that might be a compliment nowadays,

00:08:07.840 right? If you get blocked by a Facebook, you might, you're not kidding, man. You're not kidding.

00:08:12.660 I, uh, I put something, I posted something on Facebook. It's the last week. I think it was last

00:08:19.040 week. It must've been last week. And, uh, and I was just talking about in the post, how you're going

00:08:23.720 to be judged regardless of what you do. If you're, if you're, you know, skinny, you're weak, if you're

00:08:28.680 big, you're fat, if you're a Democrat, you're, you know, you're an idiot. If you're a Republican,

00:08:34.620 you're heartless, like just kind of went through this whole thing. And, uh, and I, and I, one of

00:08:40.420 the things I put on there, and this is going to get me in trouble cause I'm going to say it.

00:08:43.360 I put, if, if you're straight, you hate gays. If you're gay, you're a faggot. That's what I said in

00:08:49.540 the thing. But in the context of what I was talking about, I wasn't calling gay people faggots,

00:08:54.520 right? I was saying that like what, what people, the cool stereotype. Exactly. Right. Right. So I

00:09:01.020 put that on Facebook and their algorithm or bot or whatever flag that because they considered it hate

00:09:06.120 speech. And that's part of the problem with allowing bots and algorithms to dictate what is proper and

00:09:13.160 appropriate and what isn't is it won't catch context. And if anything, that post that I made

00:09:18.900 was actually the antithesis of hate. It was like, we're all different. Like give each other some

00:09:25.120 leniency. It's, it's not as big a deal as we think it is. All these things that people like to debate

00:09:29.140 and argue about. And so it was the exact opposite of what they said it was, but the bot couldn't pick

00:09:34.080 up on context and nuance. It's just a very dangerous precedent. I think that's being set. It's

00:09:38.960 unfortunate. I find that, I mean, I actually, if you don't mind me riffing or asking you this

00:09:43.760 question, cause I've always wondered about this because Facebook is obviously not, it's not a

00:09:48.920 right, right? Like we're not entitled to have Facebook around. But there's this thin line of

00:09:56.120 kind of suppression of free speech per se, because Facebook says, Hey, I don't want you to post that.

00:10:02.320 But then again, they are their own organization, their own platform. And if we don't, you know what

00:10:07.480 I mean? And they, they have that right to also dictate what they may want to put on there. What's,

00:10:12.220 what's your thoughts on that? Do you get what I'm saying?

00:10:14.520 Yeah, I do. And I, I think that is, I think your assessment is accurate. This is a private company.

00:10:20.300 Now, some people say, well, they're putting themselves out as a, as a broadcaster. So,

00:10:24.260 you know, that, that, that falls under the, the protections of, of the first amendment.

00:10:30.980 You know, I see both sides of that, but I don't think any company, even though they may have the

00:10:36.920 right to do it, I don't think any company ought to dictate, especially when you have a Facebook,

00:10:40.880 a YouTube and Instagram, some of these platforms like this should dictate what is and is not

00:10:46.320 appropriate. Like, I just, I don't think that is, it's a dangerous direction to go. I don't think

00:10:52.720 it's look, if somebody is going to be offended about something that I, or you say, or anybody

00:10:56.900 says, then just unfollow unsubscribe. But I, but I think you should be able to say whatever you want

00:11:03.060 to say, even, even hateful things, even, you know, hostilities free of, I would say short of

00:11:09.900 calling for violence against people. I think that's an issue. But if you have, if you have some

00:11:16.280 thoughts about that, look, we live in, in a, in a time where violence is down, access to healthcare

00:11:23.480 is up, up until recently, that is, um, people are living longer. Everything's good. Everything's

00:11:31.760 good. Right. And if you're going to be offended about things like that's on you, like it's,

00:11:39.880 it, I just don't, I'm, I'm at a loss for words, quite frankly, because I just have never imagined

00:11:46.000 that people would be so weak and pathetic that they would allow these words to hurt them. I mean,

00:11:50.280 it's like the old adage when you were in school is like sticks and stones may break, break my bones,

00:11:54.920 but names will never hurt me. Exactly. Like toughen up. So somebody doesn't like you.

00:12:00.080 Somebody doesn't like that you're gay or that you're a certain color or that you're a Republican

00:12:03.660 or that you're a Democrat or that you're this or that. Okay. Well, so what? Like you really want to

00:12:09.220 interact with that individual anyways. And also let's take racism. For example, I know racism exists.

00:12:15.420 It's, it's, I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but I'm saying that it's less than it's ever been in,

00:12:22.100 in history ever. That doesn't mean that we don't have room to improve. We certainly do.

00:12:27.800 It just means it's better than it's ever been. And if somebody comes at you or me or in a group with

00:12:34.040 racist comments and ideas, that person will be called out. Yeah. Like it'll regulate itself.

00:12:41.320 Yeah. We don't need big brother coming in and saying, Oh, let's make sure we protect people.

00:12:46.880 No, that, that individual will be, that'll, that'll be policed by itself. So I just think

00:12:52.980 it's a very dangerous precedent because if you say you can't say this, then what else can't you say?

00:12:57.840 And how, and how far down that road do we go? Yeah. It can be a slippery slope.

00:13:02.080 And true to your point too. I think people that are, um, I mean, let's be frank. It's,

00:13:06.840 it's not easy to take attacks, right? I don't even deal with good attacks.

00:13:12.000 I got to stop you right there though. Okay. Because, and I'll, and I don't want to interrupt,

00:13:16.020 but, but it's important. We use the right words. I don't even like using that word attack.

00:13:21.500 Yeah. What do you mean? Like somebody verbally attacked or verbally assaulted me.

00:13:26.700 What does that even mean? Yeah. That's adding a whole other meaning to what was actually done.

00:13:31.460 Yeah. Yeah. So like Jordan Peterson talks about being precise with your language.

00:13:35.140 someone may have insulted you verbally. Sure. Yeah. But attacked you. Come on. Like,

00:13:39.760 let's not, let's not go to there. But anyways, yeah. Continue your point. I just want to make

00:13:43.800 sure I like that up. No. And I like that. So if someone insults you, what's ironic about that

00:13:49.400 is it's superficial in most cases anyway. Like let's be honest. Like most people that are insulting you

00:13:56.140 or I, or anyone else, it's not from the position of them actually knowing you. So, so the weight in the

00:14:03.480 insult is very superficial. It lacks evidence and a bunch of other stuff, but yet we take

00:14:09.560 it personal. Like as if that individual knows us or for some odd reason we should respect them. So

00:14:15.000 it's even, I don't know, we, we put way too much weight on those insults from a complete stranger

00:14:21.700 in which you don't know. And, and people have a tendency to insults, not based upon merit or

00:14:27.780 anything else, but they look for the area that would piss you off. Oh, of course they're,

00:14:31.860 they're masterful at it. Yeah, exactly. And, and that just proves or just adds to that,

00:14:37.220 to the lack of weight that's in the insult. But yet we take it too personal, I think.

00:14:42.500 Well, somebody had posted, and this might've been an ask me anything

00:14:45.480 several months ago or something. Somebody had said, what, what, what do I do if somebody lies about me

00:14:50.860 or, or, or somebody says something about me? I can't remember exactly how they worded it.

00:14:56.600 They said something about them that they didn't like. That's what it was. Like they said something

00:14:59.660 about me. I didn't like, I said, well, you have two choices. Is it true? Okay. If it's true,

00:15:06.040 then correct it and move forward. If it's not true, don't worry about it. Like it's as simple as that.

00:15:13.680 Like there's not, there's nothing else you can do. That's it. That's the only two choices you have.

00:15:17.980 Yeah. Yeah. But it's, and it's interesting. Well, and it's interesting because your natural

00:15:22.460 tendency is to like, well, I need to correct them or I need to do. Yeah. But, but it's also like,

00:15:27.900 that's not going to work. You realize that, right? Like everyone debating, everyone thinks that like,

00:15:32.900 okay, well, if I get angry and I make some really solid points and if I insult them,

00:15:37.120 they're going to like cow to and go, oh, you know what? You're right, Ryan. I shouldn't have done that.

00:15:41.440 It's like, no, it's not going to work. It's never going to work. People don't change their minds

00:15:45.760 because you're, because you're attacking them. Insulting them. Insulting them. Or offending

00:15:52.140 them. Offending them. I'll get it. All right. Hey, we're back on Facebook. I just pulled it back

00:15:55.960 up. So we're trying it again. All right. All right. Per, yeah. Perfect for the next excellent

00:16:01.020 name to pronounce. Per Sigurd. This is an alphabet. What do you guys think about tribalism? The way of

00:16:07.880 the men is the way of the gang. Yeah. So the way of men is the way of the gang that, that that's a

00:16:14.140 reference to Jack Donovan and his book, the way of men. Cause he talks a lot about that. Yeah. You

00:16:20.480 know, like, look, we do band together in common interest. And I think there's a lot of value in

00:16:25.700 that. I mean, we do that here in order of men, right? We have some founding guiding principles,

00:16:29.680 men are protectors, providers, presiders. We take accountability and responsibility for

00:16:33.260 ourselves. Those things that we just talk about and have for the past five years are foundational

00:16:38.480 principles that all of us agree on to some, to some level, right? Some more than others, but to

00:16:44.880 some level, like we all pretty much agree on that. And I think that's a good thing because you find

00:16:49.780 opportunities to band with other men or people who are interested in the same thing as you. And this

00:16:56.460 goes back to what we were talking about with mentors is they'll push you. They'll motivate you.

00:17:00.780 They'll inspire you. They'll lead you to where it is you want to go. Maybe they're further down the

00:17:04.980 track and you can learn and grow from that individual because they've been where you were

00:17:09.040 six months ago or a year ago. So there's a lot of value to that. There's also strength in numbers

00:17:13.500 too, right? Like we're, we're stronger when we're banded together in these common interests,

00:17:17.860 but like anything, it can be taken to an unhealthy level, right? And when we're talking about tribalism,

00:17:25.720 typically the context that we're talking about is, is shutting down other people's perspectives

00:17:34.240 and viewpoints because they're at direct odds with ours. Uh, we use tactics that are intellectually

00:17:41.660 dishonest. We attack them or insult them or offend them, you know, verbally or put down their,

00:17:49.520 their, uh, who they are as an individual rather than their discussion, their talking points.

00:17:55.100 So when you're defending an ideology without accepting that there might be a differing

00:18:04.800 perspective that would broaden your horizons and open up you to new ideas and new information

00:18:10.680 that will serve you well, then it becomes an issue. But banding together in common interest

00:18:16.140 is a great thing. It's when it starts to hinder your progress and growth and you start to defend

00:18:20.800 ideologies sometimes even violently and dangerously without experiencing some sort of other perspective

00:18:28.320 and openness to new information and new ideas. And that's an issue that becomes a problem. I mean,

00:18:34.360 the religion has gone there. Think about religion, you know, religion is, is men and women banded

00:18:38.800 together towards a belief in a higher power. Uh, there's founding principles in, in those religions,

00:18:44.560 but then when they use religion to justify attacking violently and physically other people,

00:18:52.460 then that becomes tribalism and that's an issue, right? So there's a line here. And, and I think

00:18:57.320 most of us hopefully understand what it is and can explore, explore where that line is and, and choose

00:19:04.440 not to step over it. Yeah. And I could see where those issues exist, whether in a gang or a tribe,

00:19:09.740 regardless, like just on an individual basis, right? If you, if you're, if you're justifying

00:19:15.140 those actions, regardless, like it's, it's negative period. That's why I don't like the word

00:19:19.160 gang, like Jack Donovan and I are friends, but I don't, I don't like that word. Like the way of men

00:19:23.860 is the way of the gang because gang that typically has a negative connotation and people believe it to

00:19:28.880 mean one thing. And so we have to be very clear on the words that we're using. He's, he doesn't mean

00:19:34.120 that in negative way. He's using it interchangeably with the word tribe. I would prefer that or a band

00:19:41.980 of brothers. There's other terms, but I mean, we don't need to get hooked up in the semantics.

00:19:47.500 Unfortunately, we kind of do because people have a really difficult time understanding context and

00:19:52.480 nuance. And so, and I see this in discussions all the time, people will hone in on one word and

00:19:57.060 they're like, you're using that word. It's like, yes, but you also understand what I mean. And now

00:20:02.420 we're just like talking over each other. We're not even addressing the issue. We're addressing

00:20:05.960 Webster's definition of, of what that word means when really we could be having this real discussion

00:20:11.960 about the issue instead of the word you or I chose to use. You just have to be careful of that.

00:20:17.220 Yeah. Copy. Harper Mooser, what is the best way for someone who has had a hard time with word

00:20:25.120 usage to explain this movement to a seemingly progressive woman?

00:20:28.600 I would actually question why you feel the need to explain this or anything to this woman. Now,

00:20:37.720 if she's your wife, got it. Check. There's some things that you're going to need to explain to her.

00:20:42.300 Yeah. If it's, if it's a coworker who let's just, let's just go to the extreme who's belligerent and

00:20:48.160 an extreme feminist. Like why, why would you even go there? Like, what's the point of that?

00:20:53.120 Yeah. So before you talk about like wording and verbiage and explaining yourself and how best to

00:20:59.340 do it, ask yourself if you should even do that in the first place, that's the first question.

00:21:03.640 Yeah. And then if you determine, yeah, I do want to explain myself, then explain in a way that is,

00:21:10.900 that highlights the benefits of what we're doing here. You know, like, like lifting men up,

00:21:19.500 teaching them how to be strong and capable, teaching them how to communicate with other people,

00:21:26.180 how to lead their families, how to serve, how to improve the value that they're adding in their

00:21:32.640 communities and their families and their businesses. Like no rational person would argue

00:21:38.380 against that. Now, maybe they're going to debate about the way we go about doing it or some of the

00:21:42.920 language that we've used, because of course that that's just how people disagree, but no rational

00:21:47.540 person is going to debate the idea of equipping men with the tools and resources and conversations

00:21:54.460 like this to improve their capabilities, to add value, to serve, to lead, to make money,

00:22:00.800 to get strong, to, to provide for their wife and their children. Like no rational person would

00:22:05.360 debate. And if they have an issue with that, that's probably pretty telling. It goes back to

00:22:09.440 the first thing I said, which is, are you banging your head against the wall against something that

00:22:13.940 you shouldn't even be worrying about? Because I deal with this all the time. People, Oh, what do you

00:22:18.720 mean by this? Explain this, explain your, no, I'm not going to do that. I'm actually going to take

00:22:22.460 all of my time and energy and explain it to those who would be positively impacted by the work that

00:22:27.500 I'm doing. I'm not going to try to beat my head against the wall by explaining it to you.

00:22:31.440 Somebody doesn't even want to understand what we're trying to accomplish here or refuses to

00:22:36.120 look at this in, in a, in a, an objective way. Like you have your own story and your own experience.

00:22:42.540 And I can certainly appreciate that, but it's clouding your ability to see what we're doing here.

00:22:46.820 And until you're ready to some degree to at least explore the idea that maybe there's thousands

00:22:52.900 and thousands of men having some powerful conversations, I'm really not willing to

00:22:57.680 invest a whole lot of time and energy to explain it to you. Yeah. What I like about that, Ryan,

00:23:02.800 is because I correct me if I'm wrong, it's you being clear on the objective and the vision and the

00:23:09.020 purpose of this movement. It's not to get the acceptance and to convince anybody it's actually

00:23:15.240 to provide value to those willing to listen. Great point. Yeah. Great point. Yeah. I do have a lot

00:23:20.900 of people that ask like, well, explain yourself. Like if anybody comes at me with that, the answer

00:23:25.380 is no, I don't owe you an explanation. Now, if you genuinely want, and I know because I've been

00:23:30.820 in the game long enough where I know somebody genuinely wants an explanation or they need a

00:23:36.020 clarification on something. I would be happy to entertain that. But if somebody's like, well,

00:23:40.020 you need to explain yourself because like, I know that that individual is not interested

00:23:44.740 in hearing my explanation. They're actually more interested in walking me into a trap. And I've seen

00:23:50.560 enough traps and I've fallen into enough traps to realize and see the signs for what they are.

00:23:55.200 And I choose not to step into them. Yeah. And, and what purpose does that serve? Like,

00:24:00.160 it's just not effective, right? Like that's not the effective thing to do. Right. Right. It's a

00:24:04.880 waste of energy and time. Exactly. Greg, Rocky Walker. How do you lead your family to be financially

00:24:10.560 sound in times like these? And maybe not necessarily you, but maybe some advice for guys, I guess,

00:24:16.780 sure. Because this, you know, this time is different for all of us. How, how can he do

00:24:20.560 that for sure? Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's what I think. Uh, well, I think number one,

00:24:25.100 you have to have it locked in, right? If you're stressed out and you, you, you're up to your

00:24:29.340 eyeballs and debt and you don't have any money set aside and no financial provisions and no food

00:24:34.640 storage, then it's going to be very difficult for you to say something that's going to actually

00:24:38.380 have any weight or impact. There's no, there's no meaning behind, there's no weight behind your

00:24:42.400 words because they're empty, right? You're not doing it yourself and everybody can see right

00:24:45.880 through that. So certainly you want to start getting this stuff locked in. There's all sorts

00:24:49.280 of podcasts and books that you can read. Um, total money makeover is a great introductory

00:24:54.100 system and process for improving your finances. You can get into investing. And I mean, there's just

00:25:00.180 so much information out there. If you exert yourself just even to the slight degree, you'll

00:25:04.180 find that information. Um, and then outside of that, just talking with your family about these

00:25:09.260 things. I think money is an issue that generally is something that a lot of parents aren't

00:25:14.860 willing to bring up and what a shame. Like you've got, you've got a wife and kids that

00:25:20.500 you could talk with about this stuff and share. And when my kids ask me, you know, how much

00:25:24.820 did you pay for my, your truck? Like I tell him, here's what I paid and here were the terms

00:25:29.200 or I paid cash or whatever, like whatever the process was. I told him when they ask about

00:25:33.640 the house, like how much did you buy this house for? I tell him, here's what I bought it

00:25:36.760 for. And here's how much money we put down and here's how much is left. And now the bank

00:25:41.040 wants, you know, four and a half percent interest and here's the payment and here's how, like,

00:25:45.320 why wouldn't I share that stuff? But I think too many parents shy away from that. Maybe

00:25:49.920 it's an ego thing or an uncomfort thing, but it's going to say, why do you think they

00:25:53.340 do? I think, I think if they're in a bad financial position, they don't want to disclose

00:25:57.440 that. Um, and then it's uncomfortable too, right. To talk about money. Cause most people

00:26:03.000 are, are pretty clueless. Financial literacy is at an all time low, it seems like. And so like,

00:26:08.940 how do you explain something that you don't understand? You don't, or you're going to feel

00:26:12.920 bad when you tell Timmy that you took out a massive loan for that truck that you can't

00:26:16.420 afford, you know, it sounds like a dad. Yeah. You're making it. It doesn't make sense. Right.

00:26:21.200 Yeah. And little Timmy can see it better than, than dad might be able to. Right. Uh, but yeah,

00:26:27.220 I think that's, that's why, uh, the only, the other suggestion I would give is, uh, include

00:26:33.720 your children in the process of managing money. So that might be an allowance. And like my,

00:26:40.920 my two oldest boy, well, not my, my second boy gets an allowance and he pays tithing out of it

00:26:47.600 and he sets some of it aside. And then the rest is for him to use right now. That's teaching him

00:26:52.500 in real dollars, how to use that money. My oldest son manages the store. So he knows, Hey, look,

00:26:58.960 here's how much you get paid per package. If you can do it faster, you make more per hour.

00:27:02.640 If you can cut back on, on costs for like, we just got a brand new printer, for example.

00:27:08.860 And instead of being an ink printer, it's a, I think they call it like a thermal printer where

00:27:13.560 it just like burns it or etches it onto the label or something. And it's significantly faster

00:27:19.260 and less expensive. So now I show them, okay, look, instead of spending 10 cents on every package

00:27:25.640 for a label, now we're spending two cents. So that means for every package we send, we save an

00:27:31.360 eight cents. And he's like, Oh, that's cool. I'm like, that's eight cents more in our pocket

00:27:35.460 times a hundred times a thousand times 10, 10, 10, 10,000. He's like, Oh, that's really cool.

00:27:40.160 You know, so like you figure this stuff out and you get them involved in the process.

00:27:43.500 Even monopoly monopoly is a great way to show it, you know, little, little lessons, depending on how

00:27:48.760 old they are about how money works and how expenses happen and income tax. And as you're going

00:27:53.760 through it and it says, you know, pay, pay $200 in property tax, like explain to them, what does

00:27:58.420 that mean? I don't understand what that means. When you get a check in the mail for your actual

00:28:01.940 property or an invoice for your actual property tax, like show it to them. Look, look, we owe this

00:28:08.140 land and they want $5,000 in property taxes, right? Like explain all of it and just be open with them

00:28:13.580 and they'll start to get it and see it. Totally. And it's, and it's funny how that stuff can relate,

00:28:18.540 like affect you when you get older. Right? Like I remember, this is just funny. I think it's funny

00:28:24.520 anyway, is I remember graduating high school and, and one time I, when I was a senior or junior,

00:28:30.320 my dad told me how much he had made, but, but that's all I knew. Like I knew, and actually I

00:28:36.440 didn't, in fact, I don't even think he told me, I think I saw like a payroll check. Okay. You know,

00:28:41.480 and I looked at that, I'm like, Whoa, that's a lot of money. Right. But I have no idea anything else.

00:28:46.940 And so I went into college. My focus in college was make more than him by the time I graduate.

00:28:53.780 Well, guess what? That wasn't very much money. In fact, it was not enough at all. Right. But I

00:28:59.040 set some goal on some arbitrary number because I didn't see the bigger picture of what cost really,

00:29:04.700 you know, was and what kind of bills exist and all those kinds of things because I was just

00:29:08.780 shielded by them and I was unaware of them. And so I even set some goal as a kid based upon,

00:29:14.960 you know, half-baked information that I never really received around finances.

00:29:19.360 Yeah. This is why I have a hard time when I see businesses are like, Oh, I'm a seven figure

00:29:23.440 business. I'm like, what does that mean? Yeah. Like, does that mean you grow seven figures,

00:29:28.100 but you made a dollar this, this year? Cause I've seen that or the, or even worse, you lose money.

00:29:34.360 Or does that mean seven figures goes into your pocket? Like it's a, you have to be very careful.

00:29:40.080 Again, this goes back to the wording people use. You have to be very careful with the words that

00:29:43.820 people are using. Cause they'll try it. And I look, I'm not above it. I'm a marketer. Right. So

00:29:49.040 there's words I'm using. You're like, okay, wait, what does he mean by that? And you should ask for

00:29:53.440 clarification. I got on a call the other day with, uh, what was it? He was trying to, he was always

00:29:59.760 offering like a new, a new program that we were considering using in the iron council.

00:30:04.120 And he was using this like really cryptic language. He was like, explain, like, hold on,

00:30:09.120 hold on, hold on. I said, with all due respect, I don't know what you're saying. Like you're being

00:30:13.800 very cryptic and you're using this language. Cause he was, I asked what a feature did and he's like,

00:30:19.400 Oh yeah, I'm sure I could talk with our manager and like work something out. And I'm like, well,

00:30:23.360 no, no, no. So it doesn't exist. Right. Exactly. I need to know exactly

00:30:29.600 what you're saying. Yeah. And then he clarified and I'm like, okay, I don't actually like that,

00:30:35.080 but it's good that I know that because now I can make a more informed decision. And that's my

00:30:39.180 responsibility as the consumer to make sure that I don't let a sales guy get away with some cryptic

00:30:45.480 language and then interpret it as something positive in my head and then actually purchase

00:30:49.420 the thing and be disappointed. So be very cautious. If there's an underlying thread of what

00:30:54.380 we're talking about today, it's like language is important. It's really, it's really interesting

00:30:59.180 because language are just noises that are coming from our bodies. I think that's all it is. It's

00:31:04.000 just these weird noises that the human body makes. But collectively we've agreed that that particular

00:31:10.700 noise you're making right now means X, Y, and Z. And then you make decisions based on the collective

00:31:17.420 understanding of what that noise means. So it's very, words are very, very important and we ought to

00:31:23.060 recognize the power of them. Yeah. And then through our experience, we create our own personal

00:31:27.800 meeting that no one even knows about that we add to everything as well. Right. Right. Which is,

00:31:32.780 that's a, that's a whole other issue because if I think, like, if I think, let's say we're,

00:31:38.580 we're looking at this new car. All right. My wife and I are looking at this new car and I think the

00:31:43.780 color is red and she thinks the color is green, but it's actually the same color. And we say,

00:31:47.620 and she calls and she's like, yeah, I want a green car. You know what I'm saying? The point I'm trying

00:31:51.040 to make here, maybe I'm butchering this, but all of a sudden it comes back and it's like, wait,

00:31:55.020 that's not the car color I wanted. She's like, you said green. I'm like, that's red. She's like,

00:31:59.200 no, that's green. Could you imagine? Could you imagine? You know? So anyways, I think you get

00:32:05.460 the point. Maybe bad analogy. Yeah, it was, it was horrible. Yeah. It didn't, it didn't work.

00:32:10.700 I think most people get it, but it didn't work. I was waiting for you to say she's colorblind or

00:32:15.260 something. Yeah. I don't know. Let's just move on. The way I've heard it is what, like, you can both

00:32:20.900 have your eyes closed and be touching an animal and one person fills the trunk of an elephant.

00:32:25.980 The other one's person's touching the tail. And that perception is they're touching a different

00:32:30.720 animal. They both think they are, but it was really the same animal. Right. Like, yeah. I don't know

00:32:35.400 if that works any better. Nah. I mean, it was a little better than mine, but not much.

00:32:41.160 All right. Michael Madu, if you're, if you're an atheist, how do you balance the need to find purpose

00:32:48.900 as a man with the knowledge and belief that life is ultimately without purpose beyond that of

00:32:54.640 reproduction and continuation of species? Well, why do you do anything now? Why did you even ask

00:33:02.480 that question? If it doesn't matter, obviously something matters to you. You wouldn't even ask

00:33:08.240 that question if it didn't. Yeah. You wouldn't put your clothes on. You wouldn't have went to work.

00:33:13.500 You wouldn't have your family. You wouldn't engage in a hobby. Like if nothing mattered to you,

00:33:20.480 you'd, I don't know, I guess maybe you'd run around naked and play video games and ate ice cream or

00:33:29.640 whatever your thing is. Like if nothing mattered, nothing would matter. But obviously something

00:33:34.460 matters to you. You're, you're asking about it, which means that something matters.

00:33:38.520 So I've thought a lot about this. Like does morality, for example, come from God? Is it objective? Is

00:33:44.320 it subjective? Like all these things. Can an atheist be moral? Yes. I believe, I believe an atheist can be

00:33:50.020 moral. I believe that there's something that matters to you. And just because you don't believe

00:33:55.340 that life continues after death, doesn't mean that what you're doing now doesn't play some relevancy in

00:34:00.520 what's going on. Not everything that I do comes from the perspective, from the eternal perspective.

00:34:09.160 Right? Like sometimes I just, I, I, I, I'm on this call and you know, I'm like, does it really

00:34:14.780 impact the eternal perspective? No, but I like, I enjoy doing it. Or, you know, you're talking about

00:34:19.260 the guitar earlier. Does that really impact my eternal perspective? No, it just means I like to play on

00:34:25.900 the guitar and it lets me focus and it lets me lose myself and eliminate distractions and just

00:34:31.360 focus on the chords and just improving. And I like the sound and I just feel good playing it. Like

00:34:35.600 that's it. So it doesn't have some broad eternal ramifications. And I think of the same can be

00:34:42.560 true for an atheist, just because you don't believe that there's life after death. Does that mean that

00:34:46.820 you don't want to be a good father, that you don't want to father your children, or you don't want to

00:34:51.120 lead your wife, or you don't want to take what limited time that you have on this earth and make

00:34:57.240 it fulfilling and rewarding and enjoyable and profitable and see the world and have experiences

00:35:02.940 and have sex and drive in car, fast cars, and like do all the things that you want to do. No,

00:35:09.420 of course you want to do those things. So just ask yourself, what is important? Maybe it doesn't

00:35:15.080 come from the eternal perspective. Okay. And what is important today? What is important tomorrow?

00:35:22.340 I know atheists who are good human beings. Like I don't think those two things are at odds with each

00:35:28.160 other. I think you can be a good human being and also be an atheist. And I would trust them. I would

00:35:33.920 believe that they have my back. I would turn to some of these individuals for advice, depending on

00:35:37.880 their success levels on the advice I needed. I just don't think it has, I don't think it has as big a

00:35:44.180 bearing as people make it out to be, but you've got to ask yourself, what is important to you right

00:35:47.860 now? What, what kind of life do you want to live? I mean, you can even think from the negative side

00:35:53.460 of thing. Like if, if you don't, if nothing mattered, then think about how your physical

00:36:00.180 health would suffer. And the question then is, do you want to live a life riddled with medical

00:36:08.600 complications and disease and illness and not being able to sleep well and feeling like you've got to

00:36:13.640 carry around an elephant on your back every time you go out and people mocking you and looking at

00:36:17.800 you strange. Like, do you want to live that kind of life or would you rather get up and feel mobile

00:36:23.800 and energized and then look at yourself in the mirror and say, man, I'm proud of myself. Like how I look

00:36:28.620 today and the work that I've done and being able to carry things and have the stamina energy to engage

00:36:35.120 with your wife and kids, then, okay, then, then you ought to be a healthy person. And that's not looking at

00:36:41.240 it from an eternal perspective. Just, I want to live a healthy life. Great. Do that. Yeah. I don't

00:36:46.280 know if I'm answering the question here, but I'm just saying like you have purpose. There is meaning

00:36:50.640 to your life already. So just look at what is important over the next 50 years and that's it.

00:36:56.780 Yeah. I, I like this question a lot because I think sometimes, um, I'm trying to use my words,

00:37:04.640 uh, intentionally here. I think sometimes religious people or people believe or think that if they're

00:37:11.440 religious, that purpose is given to them. Oh, well, my religion says that this is the meaning of life

00:37:18.120 and this is the purpose, but even that individual for them to fully commit to that and for them to

00:37:24.480 truly have faith or believe in that, they have accepted that that is the purpose and meaning.

00:37:33.420 And if I don't have religion, guess what I get to do? Create the meaning and the purpose. I get to

00:37:39.700 decide even the religious person in the grand scheme of things, he has making a conscious choice that I

00:37:45.560 choose that this is the meaning and purpose of life. And thus, this is why I do what I do.

00:37:50.620 An atheist does the same thing. This is why I wake up in the morning because I choose this to be the

00:37:57.980 meaning and the purpose of my life. Period. So create it. And the person that's relation,

00:38:04.960 uh, religious is creating it anyway, right? Or they're deciding to accept that for themselves.

00:38:10.480 Yeah. And that's all that we're doing. And, and I think, you know, to your point, you know,

00:38:14.600 he meant, he makes a point here is like, you know, beyond reproduction and continuing continuation of

00:38:20.200 species. Well, you don't think you live on in, in the memory and the, uh, the impact of other

00:38:28.180 individuals. That seems like a pretty damn big purpose in my mind. Even if you say there's no

00:38:35.480 eternal upon death, it's like eternal is actually in the lives of those that you impacted, that loved

00:38:41.540 you that you loved. That's how you continue on. And, and, and I have a perfect example of that is,

00:38:47.060 is my wife's grandma. You would think she is alive and you would think that all my kids know her. In

00:38:54.260 fact, I could guarantee you right now, I could ask my daughters about Mimi and they would tell you all

00:38:58.680 about her, about how great of a woman they've never met her. Why? Because she left a lasting impact

00:39:05.840 in her kids and her grandkids in such a way that she lives on in all of their lives.

00:39:11.360 It's awesome. That is awesome. I love it. That's a great perspective, man.

00:39:16.880 Very powerful. Thank you, man. I mean, every once in a while you get some things, right?

00:39:20.740 Yeah. Well, I found that on the web. I just pulled it up while I was ranting. You just pulled

00:39:25.220 something. I just read that off of Wikipedia.

00:39:26.880 Okay. Christopher Melton. Uh, my son is seven athletic kid, but gives up easily. How do I get

00:39:38.140 him to, to get to grit through the hard times? Get to, how do I get him to grit through the hard

00:39:44.080 times? My youngest son is four and he's been using a little bike that doesn't have any pedals. Have you

00:39:52.660 seen these? They're like a bicycle. Is that what it is? Whatever. I don't, I don't personally like

00:39:57.040 him. My wife's like, no, this is awesome. Like whatever. Yeah. So he's been scooting around on

00:40:01.000 this thing and he actually does pretty good. He's like a little hellion on that thing. Okay. And for,

00:40:05.820 for his birthday, we got him a bike, a real bike with pedals and training wheels. And guess which one

00:40:11.560 he wants to ride? Yeah. The glide, the glider. He can go way faster on the glider and exert a whole

00:40:16.160 lot less energy. So of course he wants to go on that path of least resistance. This is not your

00:40:20.020 seven-year-old son's issue. This is a human issue. It's the path of least resistance.

00:40:25.980 And by the way, it never goes away. Never. Even you do it.

00:40:29.500 Forever a challenge. Whoever, the gentleman who's asking this question, he does the same thing.

00:40:33.580 So you might as well ask yourself, why do I take the path of least resistance? And when you can answer

00:40:37.960 that question, you know why he does. And Kip, you and I do it too, right? We all do the same thing.

00:40:42.960 Um, so to attempt to get him to ride his bike, I don't, I haven't forced him to do it because if I

00:40:52.420 do, then he'll hate it and he'll never want to get on the bike. Yeah. Cause it's forced upon him.

00:40:57.800 It wasn't a decision. And then I'm being a jerk and that diminishes our relationship and my

00:41:02.480 influence with him. So for me, it's just been gradual steps. Just gradual. Hey bud,

00:41:09.160 can you get on the bike and just show me like, I want to take a picture of you on your new bike.

00:41:14.220 That's easy. He can do that. So he gets on the bike. I'm like, give me a smile. We take some

00:41:18.220 pictures. The other day I said, Hey bud, like, I know you don't really like this bike, but why don't

00:41:23.000 we do this? Why don't, why don't you get on and I'll push you to the end of the driveway and I'll

00:41:27.180 push you back. And then you can do whatever you want. If you want to get back on your glider or you want

00:41:31.740 to not ride your bike at all, whatever. Cool. And he's like, okay, I can do that. So I pushed him and he

00:41:38.420 just put his feet on the pedal. He didn't even pedal. He just pushed it. And I just pushed him.

00:41:41.680 And then the next day I'm like, Hey, let's do that same thing. But why don't you just try to

00:41:45.800 pedal a few? So we're gradually introducing it more and more and more. And then eventually like

00:41:53.460 his other siblings and every other human being on the planet, like he'll know how to ride a bike and

00:41:58.160 it won't be an issue. He'll never go back. So I just think you have to be a little bit more

00:42:02.020 delicate with children because it's very easy to, and I've done this. I'm guilty of this more than

00:42:06.440 anybody. And I haven't always been like this. I'm like, do it. Damn it. Ride your bike. And this

00:42:12.540 is why my, uh, this is why my wife teaches our kids to ride their bikes. Cause I lose my cool.

00:42:19.840 But as I mature, I get a little bit more mentally and emotionally stable and aware and it's all good.

00:42:26.600 So I just think with kids, you just push them to the next level. You don't push them to the end.

00:42:32.960 Like you don't push them off into the deep end and Hey, get on the diet. Just do it. You're fine.

00:42:37.540 I'll just do it. Just get them to go one more step to the end of the diving board. Then they went

00:42:42.000 yesterday and then they'll know, Oh, I'm capable of that. And that will boost their competence. It

00:42:47.220 will boost their confidence surely. And it will open a new window for them to now step in just a

00:42:53.980 little bit further tomorrow and tomorrow and the next day and the next day. So I just think you might

00:42:58.500 have, and I don't know the situation. I'm just speaking from my own personal experience

00:43:02.580 that our ex-fathers is just sometimes too great. I know that sounds really weird coming from like a

00:43:10.160 self-help place, but for our children, I just think we place too much expectation on them,

00:43:16.860 especially when they're younger to perform a certain way, when it's your job to coax them into

00:43:21.860 what they're capable of doing. And sometimes that requires a heavy hand and sometimes it requires

00:43:28.060 a lighter touch. And I think maybe you ought to explore what the balance is there.

00:43:32.860 Yeah. And what I heard in what you said, Ryan is celebrate, celebrate a little bit of that grit,

00:43:37.700 right? You celebrated him going down on the bike. That was awesome. Let's do that again.

00:43:42.940 Right.

00:43:43.100 Like just look for opportunities to celebrate the grit. Um, I can't count how many times,

00:43:47.700 like my son, whatever, whatever it is, my boys will go backpacking with me anytime.

00:43:53.140 I could ask them in the middle of December, hell storm outside and say, Hey, do you guys want to go

00:43:58.440 up the mountain and go backpack? And they're like, yeah, let's do it. Really? Why? Because yeah. And

00:44:02.260 it's really just because we've done it so many times and so many things have gone wrong that it's

00:44:06.340 been so miserable and horrible that later it was so fun to talk about. So they're always up for the,

00:44:12.300 for the challenge because it's just, it's going to be gnarly and, and we've always celebrated.

00:44:17.980 We laugh about it and we tell stories about it. And, and it's our way of celebrating the grit.

00:44:22.900 Right. Well, here's another, that's a great, great point. Here's another example. So my oldest son,

00:44:27.760 he will go hunting with me anytime, anywhere, any time of day or night. It's like, dad,

00:44:33.600 wake turkey season's coming up. Dad, wake me up at 4am. Let's go do this.

00:44:37.040 Let's see. Yeah.

00:44:37.640 He loves it. He just wants to hunt. He wants to be outside. He wants to be with me. He wants to

00:44:41.140 hunt. That's what he wants to do. I asked, I got my second son, a turkey license. I'm like, Hey,

00:44:46.420 I got you a license. And he's like, meh. I'm like, what, what do you mean? Like we get to go hunt.

00:44:51.480 He's like, I don't want to hunt. And I'm like, really? He's like, yeah. I'm like, why? He's like,

00:44:55.560 I don't want to get out of bed early. I don't like their point. But when we're on the mat and we're

00:45:02.140 rolling, he will, he wants to destroy people, like hurt them physically and then rip their soul

00:45:10.040 out from, from them. Both of them are displaying some level of grit and fortitude in the face of

00:45:16.760 adversity. They're just interested in different things. So you ought to explore that too. Maybe,

00:45:21.640 maybe your son is pretty gritty with the things that, that he likes that he, that he, that he

00:45:28.900 enjoys that he has an affinity with. And maybe you need to explore some of those things.

00:45:32.580 Yeah. What I love about your example, Ryan is both scenarios. You're doing grit with your kids.

00:45:38.980 Yeah, for sure. And I think that speaks volumes that shows your kids. What does grit look like?

00:45:44.200 Just like hard work, right? Your kids aren't going to learn the hard work because you're yelling at

00:45:48.560 them from the porch, you know, to clean up the yard. They're going to learn it because you're out there

00:45:52.700 breaking a sweat. You're bending over back, you know, you're putting in the hard work as well. And they

00:45:56.260 see what that looks like. You know, and sometimes it's tough, right? Because it's like, you know,

00:46:00.680 I teach my kid grit and work out hard. Well, guess what I need to do? Work out hard and finish the

00:46:06.800 burpees and, you know, do all the same things. Otherwise it's just me coaching, yelling at them

00:46:10.880 and that's not fun either. Right. Yep. Cool. Cody poppin' chalk. All right. Sorry, Cody.

00:46:21.800 He totally messed that one up. How? Well, I was thinking like another word and I thought,

00:46:27.080 no, that's not, that's not. I'm sure whatever you were going to say, he has never heard in his

00:46:32.160 entire life before. Cody poppin' chalk. All right. How to mentally, mentally and emotionally

00:46:37.760 navigate your kid's new relationship with their new stepdad and not begin to feel replaced or benched

00:46:45.040 by the new guy and help them navigate as well. What questions to ask? What's okay to ask? When

00:46:51.360 is it okay? My kids are turning seven and five. For context, divorce was final five months ago.

00:46:57.160 Fiance was introduced to the kids a week after it was final. Now, a little bit of judgment on the new

00:47:03.240 wife. Yeah, that's tough, but that is tough. I mean, look, yeah, that's, that's tough. I haven't been in

00:47:09.820 this situation. Um, I don't, I don't know that anything changes really. I just think that you

00:47:16.420 continue to be the best father that you know how to be, that you continue to be engaged, that you share

00:47:21.640 your stories with them, that you ask about their stories, you engage in things they like, you make

00:47:26.460 the things that they like, the things that you like, uh, and you just be as present and available

00:47:30.740 as you possibly can. I would say on the do nots, like be very careful of undermining their stepdad

00:47:37.340 because then that might make you look like the enemy or the bad guy. And that would undermine

00:47:42.700 your ability to lead as a father effectively. Um, same thing with their mother. You know, if you,

00:47:47.120 if you undermine her and make her the enemy, then will she live, they live with mom. So now you're

00:47:53.060 the enemy because mom's made you the enemy. So this is a little political too, in that you need to be

00:48:00.300 very aware of, of not undermining your, your ex-wife and her, her husband or fiance. I'm not

00:48:08.600 sure if it's husband or fiance. Uh, that that's what I would say. I know that's really general and

00:48:14.040 that's really broad, but those are my suggestions. I don't know. Do you have anything to add kit to

00:48:18.720 that? Yeah. I mean, this is the long game, right? And I think you have to constantly say what's best

00:48:23.760 for my kids. And unfortunately that may be in conflict with your ego and your self-worth as a

00:48:31.540 father, right? What's best for your kids is to have an amazing stepdad that does an awesome job

00:48:39.700 and is just as amazing as you are. And that your kids completely love and feel it like, feel like

00:48:46.200 they're, that's their father. That's what's best for your kids, by the way. Now that's a hard pill to

00:48:51.100 swallow. Now with that said, realize this is a long game. Like your kids, there is a difference.

00:48:57.880 There is a difference between the emotions of a kid towards their step parent and their biological

00:49:02.640 parent, whether we like it or not. It is built in. Your kids are going to have, because you are them,

00:49:08.280 by the way, and they find identity based upon their relationship with you. And they can't help but

00:49:14.620 tie who they are as who you are. That's why it's so negative. Back to what you're saying, Ryan,

00:49:18.900 you talk bad about their mom. Guess who you're talking bad about? Them, because they're part of

00:49:23.240 their mom. They're, they're literally a creation from their mother. So if you insult her, you're,

00:49:29.000 you're going to insult them a little bit, right? And it goes both ways. And so I really think you

00:49:33.440 just got to play that long game, focus on what's best for your kids. It may not feel good for the

00:49:38.120 ego, but realize that, that it's a, they will always have a place for you. And especially are

00:49:45.500 the boys or we don't know. I don't think he said your kids may come around right at one point where

00:49:50.880 they're like, Hey, it's time for me to be with dad. Uh, you know, I, I spent the majority, my son,

00:49:57.960 and Ian, um, but it was like three or four when we got divorced and he turns 17 and says,

00:50:06.000 it's time for me to move in with dad. That's a long time I waited for my son to say, I want to

00:50:12.180 be with my dad and live with him. Um, but it was worth it. Right. And, and really from his perspective,

00:50:18.500 he just like, I just felt like I needed to be with my dad more, you know, so it, but just focus

00:50:23.920 on what's best for your kids. And sometimes that's, that's going to be hard to, to admit that, uh,

00:50:28.840 there is a level of replacement. Let's be frank, you know, um, but you're still their father and you

00:50:33.460 still have a responsibility to do your job damn well, you know, so do it. Well said, man. Well said.

00:50:39.900 Sorry, Cody, Eric Crowe, how to get over a breakup when you were, when you were the problem. I love it,

00:50:46.920 man. All the past issues have been addressed moving forward. How can I show her that I am not the man I

00:50:53.300 was tricky there? Yeah. I think that's, that's where you, that's where you're going wrong.

00:50:59.060 Yeah. You know, I, I, based on what I heard you say, you know, you, you owned it well done. Most

00:51:05.180 people never own it. So you owned it. You, you also said you're working on the problems or they've

00:51:09.420 already been resolved. Well done. Owned it or fixed it. And then you're like, okay, so can,

00:51:14.640 how can I prove to her now? How do I, how do I now get her back? Because I did all those things.

00:51:21.080 Dude, those are external circumstances beyond your control. And if you look, she, she, you guys may

00:51:27.200 never be back together again. And you can't control that because she has to make that decision.

00:51:32.320 You can influence it through the work that you're doing, right? You've, you've fixed things,

00:51:37.540 you've corrected the behavior, you've improved, you've acknowledged it and you've fixed it.

00:51:41.840 But the superior motive for doing that is for yourself, not for her. And so, and I'll tell you why

00:51:49.860 it's superior because it's within your control. You getting her to do something in this case,

00:51:56.480 love you. This is why the genie can never make somebody else love you. Right? It's like,

00:52:00.820 that's the external circumstance. Like they have a say in that. Yeah. The only thing that you have a

00:52:07.860 say in is how you perform, how you show up the way that you engage. And what are you going to do?

00:52:12.820 Measure how well you do based on the response that she gives you or lack thereof. So let's say you

00:52:18.120 start going into the gym. Okay. We'll just use this as an example. And you've lost 20 pounds and

00:52:22.800 you're getting strong and you look good and you look lean, you look strong. Everything's on track

00:52:27.380 and on point there. And she doesn't respond to you. Does that make all that work then unimportant?

00:52:35.200 Yeah. You're going to give up now? Yeah. It's like, oh, it didn't work. So I guess I can go back to

00:52:38.680 eating like shit and put on that extra 20 pounds and just live the life I was living before.

00:52:42.340 Because you required an external motivator. Exactly. That you didn't receive. And because

00:52:47.540 you didn't receive it, that was your motivator. But what if your motivator was, I just, I want to

00:52:53.620 be healthy. I want to be strong. I want to be capable. I want to feel good about myself physically

00:52:58.820 and mentally. Uh, I want to be able to perform. I want to have energy. And that's, that was your

00:53:05.800 motivating factor. That's sustainable. That's something that you can continue to do because

00:53:11.960 it's well within your power. You're not giving that authority to anybody else. I actually touch on

00:53:16.980 this in, in the book sovereignty. A lot of times when, when people hear sovereignty, they think I'm

00:53:21.260 talking about their, their freedoms and liberties. It certainly can be that, but it's also in a more

00:53:27.520 nuanced, harder to see and understand way you dictating your life, your actions, the way you

00:53:35.880 feel about yourself based on how somebody else responds. That is how we give away emotional

00:53:42.040 sovereignty. Kip has to think this way of me in order for me to feel good about myself. My wife has

00:53:49.960 to say and do these things in order for me to feel like a man. Those are little items and little times

00:53:57.000 where you're giving away your sovereignty and you're giving away control, power, and authority

00:54:01.700 over your own life. The way I show up, I, I, I show up in this podcast, for example, or, uh, in order

00:54:09.800 man, just generally, because I feel good about the way about, about me as a human being, the worth of me

00:54:17.160 when I do it that way. And I try to take compliments and criticism all with a grain of salt

00:54:23.080 because I don't want even, even compliments when people say, Oh man, you're so amazing at this,

00:54:28.360 Ryan. It's like, I'm grateful for that. I like that, but I'm careful of like taking that too much

00:54:33.540 to heart because if I take that to heart, then I have to take the criticism to heart as well.

00:54:37.480 And I don't want any external circumstance like validating or being the primary motivator for the

00:54:44.220 reason I do things. I want it to be for me. Right. Do you feel, do you ever, how do I say

00:54:51.600 this? You know, if we look at like, for instance, one of the great examples of this that you've used

00:54:56.480 in the past is during your separation with your wife and how you focused on you. Right. And, and

00:55:03.480 that eventually as a, as a result, she came back around and you guys were able to, to work through

00:55:10.600 things. How did you do that without coming across cold? You know what I mean? Does, is there a

00:55:16.920 tendency for us to focus on our sovereignty and Hey, I'm doing this for me and having it come across

00:55:23.020 cold to those in our life? You know, it's kind of like, I don't give a shit what you think I'm doing

00:55:26.800 X and then it rubs them wrong per se, or it comes across wrong. Yeah. But that's, again, if you're

00:55:33.440 thinking about this, if that's how you're doing it, you aren't doing it for yourself. It's still about

00:55:39.080 them. Exactly. You're trying to prove to them that they don't matter. Yeah. You're trying to

00:55:43.980 prove it. You're trying to rub it in their face, not just get their acceptance. Exactly. It's still

00:55:47.620 about them. It's still about them. Yeah. Good point. And I have found personally and anecdotally

00:55:53.380 in other people's lives as well, that when you really focus on yourself, like you're doing the

00:55:57.380 right things, you're eating right, you're exercising, you've got a vision, you've got a plan,

00:56:01.800 you're vying for promotions and you're picking up new hobbies and you're doing all the things that

00:56:06.420 we've talked about. If you're doing it correctly, it's very, very difficult to be in a negative

00:56:15.020 space, like a vengeful, like I want to get her back. Like it's very difficult to feel that way

00:56:23.660 about yourself and other people. I've never experienced that. Like when I'm working on

00:56:27.380 myself, I have more fulfillment and abundance and gratitude and respect for other people.

00:56:33.420 I just, I I'm, I I've noticed that I'm much easier to forgive maybe any indiscretions against

00:56:41.260 me from other people when I'm in that sort of space. If you're feeling like that, it might be

00:56:47.820 a pretty good indicator that you're not actually doing the self-worth that you need to be doing.

00:56:52.400 Yeah. Yeah. And that it's still about them. Still about them.

00:56:55.520 Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Thanks for answering my questions. See, that's how I get my questions

00:57:01.340 in here guys. Yeah. It's a good way to do it. I make up, I make up names like Kobe pop and choke.

00:57:07.480 And then these are all just made up questions. That's funny. Okay. Uh, Colby Forbush, how have you

00:57:17.680 learned to balance cultivating yourself spiritually, socially, physically, and intellectually, while at

00:57:22.520 the same time, helping your children and your wife do the same? Oh, there there's, there's no real

00:57:27.920 like balance there. They overlap. Yeah. Like they're not at odds with each other. Cause look,

00:57:32.500 when you think about balance, like imagine standing on a log, okay. You're standing on this log

00:57:36.220 and you're leaning maybe a little bit to the left. What do you do? You shift your weight to the right.

00:57:42.940 And if you're going too far to the right, then you shift. So you're shifting weight from here to here.

00:57:48.020 That's what balance is like, Oh, too heavily weighted here. Got to shift over here and find

00:57:52.660 that center. So I don't fall. That's what balance means. Constant correction. Exactly. But the,

00:58:00.740 so we're looking at opposite ends, right? Like on a log, what you're talking about, they're not a,

00:58:05.820 they're not opposing. There's no balance required. Like when people say work-life balance, for example,

00:58:10.900 they're talking about work over here as one thing. And then life, usually you're talking about family,

00:58:16.740 personal life. So professional, personal at odds with each other. The more I'm at work,

00:58:21.800 the less I can be with my family, right? Those two are at odds. I understand that what you're

00:58:25.900 talking about right here are not at odds with each other. They overlap each other.

00:58:30.500 When you are strong, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, all the things that you said,

00:58:34.460 you are more capable of leading them spiritually, mentally, emotionally, et cetera.

00:58:39.860 So anything that you do to improve yourself in those areas is not at odds with and detracting

00:58:46.220 from your family. It actually magnifies it. It enhances your ability. You're the foundation.

00:58:54.320 So if you think about the tallest skyscrapers in the world, what do they all have in common?

00:59:00.380 Strong, deep, sure foundations. The taller the building, the bigger the building,

00:59:06.680 the bigger the foundation, the wider, the deeper, the stronger structure that that foundation needs

00:59:12.580 to be. And so if you create this bigger foundation of who you are as a spiritual leader, mentally,

00:59:18.940 emotionally, physically, financially, all the areas that we talk about, then you magnify your ability

00:59:24.880 to improve their results. So don't ever believe you taking a little time for yourself in the morning

00:59:31.260 at like 6 a.m. and doing a devotional, for example, I use that because he was talking about spiritual

00:59:35.000 references or picking up a new hobby and engaging in that to that to some degree is at odds with you

00:59:42.460 leading your family. Now it can be taken to the extreme. I won't say that because I know guys who

00:59:46.380 go to the gym three, four, five hours a day. And yes, law of diminishing returns. You're, you're detracting

00:59:52.540 from your family for nothing really. You got the benefit in 40 minutes and now you're there for 10

00:59:58.120 times longer than that. Come on. Yeah. Honey, Ryan said that more I do jujitsu,

01:00:03.240 the better father. Yeah. Yeah. People will actually say that. So look, you've got to talk

01:00:08.460 with your wife and you've got to communicate with your kids on a tactical level. There's certainly

01:00:12.860 time that you can engage in these activities that won't detract from the family, for example,

01:00:18.800 before they're even awake. But these, as long as you're not taking to this extreme and using them

01:00:25.120 as an excuse to withdraw from your other responsibilities, they're great magnifiers.

01:00:30.740 They're not at odds with each other. Okay. Copy. There you go. Steven, uh,

01:00:36.400 boardage in your opinion, how, and when will our economy bounce back from this?

01:00:41.600 It'll be years before we bounce back. Full recovery. Full recovery. Years.

01:00:48.440 Um, I think we're going to start opening up. We're seeing States that are starting to open up and

01:00:52.200 they're getting a lot of, a lot of pushback and, and, and criticism for that. I think if this is

01:00:56.300 done intelligently, I think people generally are responsible, you know, like these beaches that the

01:01:02.100 media portrays them as like everybody. And they're like right on top of each other, coughing on each

01:01:06.600 other and licking each other's what ice cream or whatever they bring. You know, it's like, that's

01:01:11.720 not what people are doing. All right. They're, they're socially distanced in themselves. They're 10,

01:01:16.400 15, 20 feet apart from each other. They're, they're with their families. Like people are

01:01:21.420 responsible. Nobody wants to get coronavirus. Nobody want few people want to give people

01:01:26.260 coronavirus. Like this is not how it works. So it's time to consider opening this up, being

01:01:30.960 reasonable about how we do it. Um, holding the media to task about how they're reporting this stuff

01:01:37.100 and really holding them and politicians accountable to the way they're talking about these things.

01:01:41.660 Um, but as far as, I mean, even look, if today we waved a magic wand and we said, okay, everything's

01:01:47.540 open. Sporting events are good. Restaurants are good to go. Big outings, concert, everything,

01:01:53.080 everything's open. I mean, look, do you really think a hundred percent of the population is going

01:01:57.740 to, Oh, okay. So we can go back out to eat. Cool. I'm there. Or, Oh, we can go to do a gathering

01:02:02.060 with 60,000 people. Yeah. I'm there. No, that's going to take years and years. And by the way,

01:02:07.760 some industries are wrecked, right. And some jobs just aren't there. Like you're not going back to

01:02:14.720 work in the same job that you have. It's just not, it's not even there. Yeah. Yeah. Or your

01:02:19.140 company's no longer gone. Right. You can even float that cashflow for a full month. I mean, you're done.

01:02:24.380 Right. So that's going to take years. It's going to take a lot of effort on our part. I would say the

01:02:28.740 best thing that we can do is to, um, provide as many good and services as we can in a reasonable way.

01:02:35.240 Uh, and then buy, buy American goods and services. That is going to be very, very important to get

01:02:43.320 our economy back on track. Look at, look at the supply chain, look at where these materials and

01:02:48.420 products are being bought from, where they're being sold, where they're being assembled and

01:02:51.700 buy American products. And let's get this country back to work. Yeah. That's crazy. I was talking to

01:02:57.020 with, uh, Tim Leach actually last night, he, he works in the tourism industry, um, by a national park

01:03:03.500 out by Bryce. And I mean, this is, I mean, I think 50% of their tourists are usually international

01:03:10.680 travelers. You can open up the economy tomorrow. It doesn't matter. Yeah. They're not coming

01:03:14.740 back. International. Yeah. They're not coming to the U S. Well, and that's a great point too,

01:03:17.700 is when you go on vacation, like go stateside for a while, like stay here, like go visit a state

01:03:23.840 that you've never, Utah is amazing. Maine's amazing. Montana. Like there's so Hawaii, Florida,

01:03:31.140 there's so many places that you can go stateside and experience that that's what we need. We need

01:03:37.480 to lift each other up as a country. Yeah. All right. Steve Cox, I'm having an issue coming up

01:03:44.080 with an objective in the contribution quadrant. What advice do you have to help with this issue?

01:03:52.140 Okay. So contribution is becoming a man of value. We want to make sure we clarify that for the people

01:03:58.420 who are wondering what he's talking about. So we talk about four quadrants. We talk about calibration,

01:04:03.080 mental, emotional, spiritual health. We talk about connection, relationships with others,

01:04:07.960 condition, physical health, contribution, becoming a man of value. So what do you, what do you want to

01:04:15.040 accomplish? And what value do you need to provide in order to accomplish that? That's how I would answer

01:04:23.200 that. What is it that you want to accomplish and what value can you provide in order to accomplish

01:04:30.000 that objective and then do that. So if you want to lead your family more effectively, and you're having

01:04:40.100 a difficult time with expressing yourself, maybe there's some bitterness or animosity or contention or

01:04:47.120 some trauma in the past that you've had, well, maybe you can learn to be a better communicator and

01:04:53.580 you can express yourself more effectively. And that might mean you complete some therapy sessions

01:04:58.840 and that's valuable. And now you get to enhance and pay that forward. Maybe you have a special skill or

01:05:05.180 a trait or a characteristic or something that, you know, that you think other people should know.

01:05:09.880 And you launch a course on how to take photography and you make that available and you contribute and

01:05:17.940 you add value and you add it back and you give it and you sell it. That's being a man of value. So

01:05:23.120 what do you want to accomplish and what, how, how do you need to become more valuable in order to

01:05:28.620 accomplish that objective? Do you think that helps Kip? I mean, you probably have some insight on that as

01:05:33.140 well. No, I think that's spot on. And I, and I like the, the cyclical aspect of that because when we

01:05:39.260 provide more value, it just helps us provide more value. Exactly. And, and the thing that we're

01:05:45.380 providing value on just, it just perpetuates and makes us better men and other people. Yeah. And

01:05:50.840 it gives us driving factor. Like one of the things I like about that, the, the term, I like the fact

01:05:56.300 that we don't say like financial gain or whatever, and it's a man of contributions because that could

01:06:01.120 look many different ways. And it doesn't mean that we have to be millionaires to be able to

01:06:06.060 contribute, right? We can contribute to our, our communities, to different social groups in which

01:06:11.220 we belong to. There's lots of ways that we can do this. Um, and it, and it helps us show up as men

01:06:17.200 and it really drives this mission of order man, even further about men stepping up and, and contributing

01:06:24.040 in our communities, in our families, better, uh, in our, in, and in our workplaces. And to be honest

01:06:29.500 with you, every role of your life, you should be contributing. That's the other thing. And, and I like

01:06:33.660 that too, is like, look at the roles you play boss, employee, husband, father, whatever,

01:06:39.720 a community member, um, you know, citizen of the United States of America. Like those are roles

01:06:44.480 that you play. So how do you contribute in those roles? How do you provide value?

01:06:48.820 Yeah. My, uh, contribution objective for this quarter is to launch our achievements and

01:06:53.400 advancements initiative in the iron council, right? Cause I feel like, okay, this will be more

01:06:58.240 valuable to the members of the iron council. And how could I provide it by putting together

01:07:02.260 this resource and these options and these tools and these achievements and advancements

01:07:05.820 that guys can work towards. And I've spent the last 30 days at this point, cause we're

01:07:09.720 30 days into Q2, uh, getting the marketing done, getting the systems organized, having

01:07:15.540 somebody talking with somebody about administering it. We're getting it all in place because that's

01:07:20.740 how I want to add value. I want to add value to these guys. And here's one thing that's

01:07:23.620 going to be valuable. So I'm investing my time, energy, and resources into making that

01:07:27.400 valuable. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. Let's take a one or two more kit and then we'll wrap it up

01:07:31.580 the day. Okay. Seth on, uh, geez, man, these names, hard names today, Seth a thank you gentlemen

01:07:38.940 for continuing to be leaders for us in these difficult times. I appreciate you guys. What

01:07:43.820 are some things you would do to with stimulus money? If you had very little debt and have

01:07:48.940 been paid throughout this pandemic by your employer, what type of things would you spend

01:07:53.500 on to help stimulate the economy or what types of other fiscal responsible things would

01:07:58.740 you do? Thank you. I'm glad he said fiscally responsible things because this really isn't

01:08:03.540 a stimulus package. It's like you, you, you potentially, a lot of families have been hurting.

01:08:08.880 So here we're going to help you so you can pay your mortgage and you can get some groceries,

01:08:12.940 but it's really not a stimulus package. So like the government forced you to shut down.

01:08:19.100 I actually like Ben Shapiro's take on this. He says the government forced you to shut your

01:08:22.740 doors to your business. So they're obligated to make amends to some degree. Right? So

01:08:29.920 that's, that's what this is. Not a stimulus package.

01:08:33.300 Thousand bucks. Right. Yeah. I think it's 1200, I think per person and maybe some for kids. I don't

01:08:39.880 exactly know what the, what the amounts are. Um, so yeah, I would save some money if you don't have

01:08:46.640 any money set aside, fiscally responsible. I would invest. I would certainly consider investing

01:08:50.580 the markets at an all time low and in a lot of, uh, sectors. So considering investing,

01:08:55.760 those are financially responsible, paying off debt. You already paid off debt, setting money aside.

01:09:01.080 Um, those are all fiscally responsible things to do. Um, outside of that, you know, look,

01:09:06.180 look at what you need. Do you need some food storage, ramp up your food storage. Do you need

01:09:10.180 to buy some ammunition or purchase a firearm? Well, that's a great, that's a great time to maybe

01:09:14.160 consider doing that. So you can actually stim help stimulate the economy if that's what you're

01:09:18.340 interested in and also provide the resources that your family needs. Food storage, ammunition,

01:09:22.660 food security system. Um, you know, we're even thinking about buying a new car right now.

01:09:28.140 Like this is a B, this is a perfect time to buy a new vehicle. Well, I'm not worried about that so

01:09:33.360 much as I can go to a lot and pay less probably for a car now than I could five, six weeks ago.

01:09:38.840 Cause nobody's selling any cars. Yeah. Right. So man, what a great opportunity to go in and buy a new

01:09:44.280 vehicle. My wife is, we're in the market for a new vehicle for my wife. So this is a great,

01:09:47.940 actually a pretty good time to do it, but just look at what you need. Be smart. Don't feel like

01:09:52.280 you have to spend it, that you're, you're obligated to stimulate the economy. Just look at what you

01:09:57.260 need, what your family needs. Um, look at future needs even, you know, we might need this down the

01:10:02.580 road. And so we'll set this money aside and this will be earmarked for that thing. Braces for little

01:10:07.120 Timmy or Sue or whatever, you know? And yeah, yeah. I mean, you can make that decision for yourself

01:10:12.140 for me. Um, I I'm not getting any, any, any check from the government, but I mean, I just

01:10:20.660 buy the same things I, I would, I would normally, I don't spend a whole lot of like extra money. I do.

01:10:25.600 Well, that being said, here's a thought invest in your business. You know, I bought, I've got a new

01:10:30.900 camera. I've got some new lights. I've built the office. Um, I just invested in having a video done.

01:10:35.920 In fact, I think I just got a text that said it's done. Um, I'm doing the achievement advancements

01:10:40.920 thing in iron council. Like I'm investing money into, into my business. And that's, that's a great

01:10:47.060 investment right now. It's a great place to put money. And also it stimulates growth for other

01:10:51.700 organizations that I'm paying to, to do these things. Yeah. Well, and I, I would go back to

01:10:55.880 what you said earlier. I'd look to where that money's going. And if you want to help stimulate or

01:11:01.100 help, you know, focus on buying locally, you know, us American made, or even within your own

01:11:07.260 community, you know, help, help the mom and pop restaurant down the street that might go out of

01:11:11.800 business because of this and maybe purposely order catering through them. And that's a good point.

01:11:17.280 We, uh, we helped, uh, my wife and I helped a company around here. Just, we bought food for,

01:11:22.060 for origin, uh, several weeks ago. And we called up subway and we're like, Hey, here's what we need.

01:11:27.960 We need to feed like 75 people. Here's what we're looking for. And I want to, I want to say we spent

01:11:33.500 maybe like seven or 800 bucks or something like that. Yeah. Cause we have the means. And so we want

01:11:39.260 to be able to help. So I, I, I went and picked it up and I brought it to origin and, um, Amanda

01:11:43.940 Roberts, that's, that's Pete Roberts, his wife. She said that she was talking with the lady at, or at,

01:11:49.060 um, at subway and the manager there and the manager asked about who we were. And she just said,

01:11:55.660 Oh, we're family, friends. They wanted to help and support. And that manager was so grateful.

01:12:01.320 I mean, origin was grateful because the other employees got fed and we were able to do that.

01:12:04.980 But the manager of, I didn't even consider that the manager of subway was so grateful that we

01:12:10.100 placed that order because they had really, really been struggling at that point. So

01:12:13.920 we don't make decisions in a vacuum. If you're doing good, it's impacting a lot of little moving

01:12:18.780 pieces that you just don't get to see. And I didn't even realize that when we made that,

01:12:22.520 but I'm, I'm glad, I'm glad that it helps in so many ways.

01:12:25.820 Well, and, and props to actually like our neighbors, for instance, every Saturday,

01:12:29.600 they've chose to buy locally from a restaurant and have family dinner. You know what I mean?

01:12:35.220 From some local restaurant and they're encouraging other, other people in the neighborhood to do the

01:12:38.800 same, right? That way we can keep those restaurants open as much as possible.

01:12:42.260 Yeah, definitely.

01:12:43.440 All right. And last question. This is a quick one. Todd Anderson,

01:12:46.140 what deliberate steps have, uh, do you take to keep order of man from becoming an echo chamber?

01:12:51.420 Hmm. I mean, we're, we're pretty good in that we have the podcast, excuse me. We have the podcast.

01:12:59.240 So we're able to have a lot of, uh, interesting conversations with people. I don't always agree

01:13:03.260 with perspectives. Yeah. Things I don't always agree on. Um, I'm very careful of like when people

01:13:08.140 disagree to like try to take that to heart, I try not to take that to heart. That's something I'm

01:13:12.180 very intentional and deliberate about. It's like, okay, well, it's like, consider this at least,

01:13:16.140 you know, let's consider the possibility that maybe this individual is right,

01:13:19.920 or they have a perspective I haven't considered before. Uh, coaching and mentoring has been very

01:13:24.880 important for me because I get to see new perspectives on running the business and,

01:13:29.260 and what's working and what isn't. And I've had mentors correct me and I've agreed with some of

01:13:34.860 it and implemented it. And I haven't agreed with some of it and I have not implemented other items

01:13:38.720 and considerations. So yeah, I just get a lot of input and perspective from, from different people.

01:13:44.380 I do want to moving forward, get more people on the podcast who I disagree with, uh, who have proven

01:13:51.060 themselves capable of having a difficult conversation and disagreements in a respectful

01:13:56.260 way. So if you have any thoughts and suggestions, whether that's somebody who's an extreme feminist to,

01:14:02.420 uh, certain political parties or leanings, and we could have a real intelligent debate and discussion

01:14:07.740 about it, I'd be all, all for it. So if you have any thoughts, let me know. Cool. All right.

01:14:14.160 So bring it home. Yeah, let's bring it home. All right. Let's do it. All right. So we were live

01:14:21.200 today, Facebook. So to join us, maybe, I don't know, Ryan's always like off the, off the hip on

01:14:27.480 this whole like live thing. So we'll, I have no idea where we'll, well, I don't even know where we'll go

01:14:32.600 live next. Uh, next thing you'll be like some, I don't know, Twitter or something. Well, that's the

01:14:36.880 point. So just sign up to everything. So yeah. And you won't have to worry about missing anything.

01:14:42.740 Okay. So here's your guys' list to sign up for everything. So first off, Facebook,

01:14:47.680 facebook.com slash group slash order of man. We are live there today. Um, and of course you'll see a

01:14:53.020 recording of this on our YouTube channel. So to subscribe to that YouTube channel, that's

01:14:57.720 youtube.com slash order of man. And of course you can join us in the iron council. That's

01:15:02.580 our exclusive brotherhood to learn more about the iron council. Go to order of man.com slash iron

01:15:08.020 council. And of course, to stay up to be on all things, Mr. Mickler, you can follow him on Twitter

01:15:14.040 and Instagram at Ryan Mickler, not Mitchler, Mickler, M I C H L E R. Get it right. Get it right.

01:15:21.760 I was over here on Facebook as a matter of fact, and I'm just going through the comments and, uh, my,

01:15:26.860 my high school baseball and football coach and a friend of mine, um, you've had him on the

01:15:32.520 podcast. He was on the podcast. Yeah. Matt labor. He's, he's trying to sell me a new vehicle. Cause

01:15:37.220 he says I'm in the market. So he wants to sell me. If I wanted to afford, I might take him up on that

01:15:41.780 offer. Oh, I think he's got them all. I think he's got them all. So coach, we'll talk about it. I'll

01:15:46.500 reach out. That's funny. Hey, and guys to support this movement and what we're doing here, uh, you can

01:15:52.880 do so a handful of ways, right? Subscribe to the podcast, hop in Facebook, subscribe to the YouTube

01:15:57.860 channel ratings and reviews on the podcast. And of course, uh, grabbing your order of man swag from

01:16:04.000 the store. And, uh, you can do so at store.orderofman.com. Right. Well done, man. All

01:16:11.780 right, guys, we're going to call it a day. Appreciate you good questions today. I really appreciate the

01:16:15.440 thoughtful and intelligent questions. Uh, we'll, we'll keep going strong. If you have guests

01:16:19.940 recommendations, please let me know. We'll make sure we get to those. And if you're interested,

01:16:24.200 join us in the iron council, we've actually been growing, um, in the last, uh, 30 days we've

01:16:29.360 picked up, well, it's grown about 10% in the last 30 days. So it's pretty incredible to see as many

01:16:36.300 men who are committed to improving themselves. So if you're interested in that, make sure you check it

01:16:39.620 out. All right, guys, we're calling it a day. We'll be back on Friday for our Friday field notes

01:16:44.420 until then go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to

01:16:49.180 the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you

01:16:54.000 were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - April 29, 2020

The Pros and Cons of Tribalism, The Meaning of Life, and Developing Grit in Your Children ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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