Order of Man - The Softer Side of Violence

00:00:00.000 Violence isn't a word a lot of people believe should be attributed to men and their responsibilities,

00:00:05.140 but we all know that isn't true because we believe that the ability to do violence

00:00:09.460 is not only within us, it can be harnessed to keep ourselves and others protected from

00:00:14.360 those who wish to do violence to us. Today, I'm joined by Marine Corps veteran Ian Strimbeck

00:00:19.100 to talk about why every man should learn how to harness the darker side of masculinity.

00:00:23.720 We cover so much in this podcast, including harnessing effective verbalization skills,

00:00:28.940 how to get better at predicting human behavior, the power of intuition, and how to use it

00:00:34.380 effectively, and how to develop and harness the softer side of violence.

00:00:38.340 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:43.220 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time. You are not

00:00:49.100 easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who you are.

00:00:55.940 This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:01:01.040 you can call yourself a man.

00:01:03.640 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder

00:01:07.520 of this podcast. I want to welcome you to The Order. Man, we've been going for three and a half

00:01:11.940 years now, so strong, and it's great to see how much progress and growth and expansion this movement

00:01:17.380 is getting and seeing. It's literally spanning the entire planet, and I'm so thankful that you are

00:01:23.920 on this journey of recovering, reclaiming, restoring, whatever you want to call it,

00:01:28.960 the idea of masculinity and why it's so important in society, probably now more than it ever has been.

00:01:35.840 Each and every week, I'm interviewing successful guys, athletes, scholars, New York Times bestselling

00:01:40.920 authors, entrepreneurs, any man who is extremely successful. We are extracting their thoughts and ideas

00:01:47.480 and wisdom and insights and experience, and then I'm delivering it to you as well.

00:01:52.200 We also have a Ask Me Anything podcast each and every week that comes out on Wednesdays,

00:01:57.020 and we've got the Friday Field Notes where you get to hear some of my thoughts from throughout the week.

00:02:01.080 Now, guys, I don't have a whole lot of announcements for you today. I do want to make a very,

00:02:05.240 very quick ask right up here, right up front, and that is that you do your part.

00:02:09.440 What do I mean by this? Well, each and every week, I'm here. I'm giving you information. I'm

00:02:13.700 interviewing these guys, and I know you guys are getting value because you're here,

00:02:17.460 and the download numbers are growing, and more people are joining the order, and it continues

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00:02:42.180 You can extract so much great information from both me and the guests that I have on,

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00:02:56.780 doing here. So jump on, do that, take care of that real quick in a couple of minutes,

00:03:00.380 and I do appreciate all of those. Outside of that, guys, if you are interested in connecting

00:03:04.260 with us more and learning more about what this is all about, you can go to orderofman.com,

00:03:08.780 which is our headquarters. You can join us in our Facebook group. I think we've got just under 49,000

00:03:14.800 members of that Facebook group now, which is completely amazing. It is facebook.com slash groups

00:03:21.400 slash orderofman, and if you want to take it even one step further, you might want to consider joining

00:03:27.320 our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council. 430 men banding together, working together,

00:03:33.580 doing more than just talking about what it means to be a man, but going out and applying this

00:03:37.160 information and creating battle plans and thriving in business and family and every facet of life.

00:03:42.660 You can check that out at orderofman.com slash Iron Council. Now, guys, that's really all the

00:03:47.840 announcements that I have for today. I do want to jump right into this one. I'm excited about this

00:03:52.040 conversation. It's one that we certainly need to have. My guest today is a veteran of the United

00:03:56.800 States Marine Corps. His name is Ian Strindbeck. He reached out a couple of months ago. And as I

00:04:01.700 was preparing for this conversation, I was so impressed by his resume as a veteran and warrior,

00:04:07.460 not only in the military, but in the executive protection space. I mean, he's taken what he's

00:04:12.900 learned on the battlefield and in civilian life, and he now teaches those who want to be better

00:04:17.460 protectors of themselves. And of course, also the people that they have a responsibility for.

00:04:22.620 This was such a fascinating discussion with an extremely, extremely fascinating man. And I think

00:04:27.740 not only are you guys going to enjoy this conversation, but you're going to walk away

00:04:31.760 with some information that could potentially save your life. Ian, what's up, brother? Thanks for

00:04:37.780 joining me on the show today. Absolutely. I'm completely honored to be on this podcast. And

00:04:41.800 again, thank you for having me. Yeah, this is such a critical conversation, which is why I'm looking

00:04:45.820 forward to having it. You know, we talk about, and I had mentioned this to you about protect,

00:04:49.600 provide, preside. And obviously, with your background and skill set and your previous

00:04:55.380 career, this protection component of being a man is seems to have been a pretty integral part of your

00:05:00.560 life. And I feel like it's unfortunately a missed concept in today's society, just because obviously

00:05:06.680 of how well modern American society is, you know, regardless of what the biased media shows and the

00:05:12.740 statistics, we are a fairly safe country. So I feel like just because of how the world is,

00:05:17.820 you've kind of forgotten about that key concept, more or less, because a lot of people are

00:05:22.440 ignorant to the fact of how the world really is and how violent criminal actors truly act in their

00:05:28.340 day to day life. Yeah, it's interesting, because I do get a lot of conversations and questions from

00:05:33.160 people about, is masculinity needed anymore? How has it evolved? And how has it changed, considering the

00:05:40.720 fact that we are relatively safe, and we live in relatively peaceful times. And I guess I would ask

00:05:47.780 you that question is how critical is this in an environment where we're less likely to experience

00:05:54.620 violence or some sort of threat to our well being or the well being of the people that we are tasked

00:06:00.940 with, with caring for? Well, obviously, it's a completely different context in regards to the

00:06:06.380 overall location of where we are, like comparing it to going out, you know, on the streets of Iraq or

00:06:13.520 Afghanistan, you know, comparing apples to oranges. And obviously, out there, it's more of a kinetic

00:06:18.860 environment, walking around the streets, there being a white American male probably isn't going to go too

00:06:24.520 well for you. But in regards to the overall violence here in America, it still does exist. But obviously,

00:06:31.760 you're not going to step outside your front door and, you know, step on a potential IED or, you know,

00:06:36.180 get into a, you know, a firefight with a large group of militia-esque people. But I still feel that

00:06:42.920 regardless of the practicality or the probability, should I say, of having to defend yourself or those

00:06:52.320 that you love, as a man, I truly feel that it is a necessary skill. And I don't know if it's about the

00:06:59.420 same for you as it is to me, but when you're involved in a fight-type sport, whether you're

00:07:05.360 doing boxing or jiu-jitsu or any type of grappling art where you're involved with, you know, being that

00:07:11.240 tight and close with somebody that's trying to prevent you from doing that specific move,

00:07:15.840 it definitely feels like a part deep down in your soul from eons ago, you know, makes you want to

00:07:24.380 become a better man that makes you want to protect, that makes you want to defend and become the victor.

00:07:29.820 Unfortunately, with how the world overall is, I feel like it's slowly fading out just because

00:07:36.320 in the eyes of the majority, it really isn't quote-unquote a necessary skill.

00:07:42.580 When you talk about being in some sort of grappling-like situation, a lot of the guys know I just

00:07:47.340 started jiu-jitsu. You've been doing and practicing jiu-jitsu for six years or so. I remember after that

00:07:53.080 first class, man, I was exhausted. Like, I was beat up. I was exhausted. I was certainly humbled.

00:07:58.200 But at the same time, there was something deep down inside of me that drew me into wanting to go

00:08:04.860 again and wanting to be in those situations. And I think what a lot of guys will do is they'll think

00:08:09.900 to themselves, if ever I'm in an encounter with a violent situation that I'll miraculously be able

00:08:16.780 to handle myself. But it's been said that we don't rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the

00:08:21.960 level of our training. And so there's so much to be said for training, for understanding what violence

00:08:28.600 actually looks like, placing yourself in situations that expose you to it to some degree in controlled

00:08:34.580 environments. I guess it's kind of like that warrior in a garden type scenario, right? If you'd rather

00:08:40.480 have the skills and not need them, then need them and not have them.

00:08:44.140 Absolutely. Unfortunately, you know, for a lot of men that are out there in today's society,

00:08:50.340 the reason that they don't purposely put themselves in these uncomfortable situations,

00:08:55.600 and, you know, it doesn't have to be jujitsu, you know, it can be any type of, you know, combat sport or

00:09:01.480 martial art is because they are allowing their their ego, which is very large to, you know, control

00:09:08.940 what they actually want to complete in this life. And as you and I know, you know, the life that we

00:09:14.200 have on this floating rock is fairly short. And to not understand or to not ever get to that human

00:09:21.660 potential of what you're capable of, you know, in my eyes, is just shameful. But again, it comes down

00:09:27.720 to people not being humble enough to put themselves in situations where, yeah, as you probably found out,

00:09:34.160 there's dudes that are probably half your size that are able to choke you out just because of that

00:09:38.740 consistency of going to jujitsu of learning with timing, not necessarily, you know, not necessarily

00:09:45.680 strength, just timing and good technique. And that's just, you know, going there day after day,

00:09:51.040 week after month, year after year, you know, getting beat up and still coming back for more

00:09:56.420 for a specific type of man. It definitely takes that type of individual to want to come back and

00:10:03.020 basically pay to get beat up. Yeah, that's true. Because I talk with my father-in-law about some of the

00:10:08.100 Spartan races and things that I do. And he's like, why would you pay to go do that? And for me, it's

00:10:13.760 it's not necessarily about a return on investment or losing money in these types of things. It's just

00:10:19.620 putting myself deliberately in uncomfortable situations. And one of the things that I'm

00:10:24.820 most fascinated with, as I begin this exploration into jujitsu is the level of calmness and clarity

00:10:33.760 in these guys who have been practicing for years and decades and just how cool and collected they

00:10:40.640 are. And yet they have the ability to inflict some real damage on another person. And I think

00:10:45.340 there's real value in that because I imagine in a stressful situation, whether it's a natural

00:10:51.360 disaster or a violent encounter, that it's very easy to completely go off the rails and lose all sense

00:10:58.940 of calmness and collection in the face of those types of situations. I'm sure you'll, you know,

00:11:04.940 eventually figure out some point that there'll be days where you're in the office or, you know,

00:11:09.180 at your at your job and you'll be totally stressed out and you'll be on the drive to jujitsu and you'll

00:11:14.360 be contemplating pulling a U-turn, just going home, you know, just going home and having a cold beer.

00:11:18.760 But then when you get there and you end up going through the class and you go through the free

00:11:23.060 rolls and you end up going to the parking lot, you know, when it's dark out and you're packing up,

00:11:27.120 going home and you'll feel that just complete release of stress. And people who don't understand

00:11:33.700 jujitsu or have never, you know, done similar type sports think that that's crazy that we are the most

00:11:40.040 calm when we're put in the most stressful situations. And you and I talked about this.

00:11:45.180 We've had Colonel Grossman on the podcast and he said how easy it is for people to lose that sense of

00:11:50.940 calmness. And that ends up creating a whole different array of situations and potential

00:11:57.980 catastrophes in some of these encounters. It's, it's the ability to remain collected

00:12:03.740 that will help you get through some sort of situation like this.

00:12:08.860 Though the minute that you start more or less freaking out is that it's because you are directly

00:12:15.060 relying on your emotion. And the minute that you rely on emotion is when you can very easily die.

00:12:21.840 How do you turn and maybe turn your emotions off? Isn't the right word, but how do you

00:12:25.860 focus on the skill, focus on the task at hand when your emotions are beginning to cloud some of your

00:12:33.980 judgment? I mean, it's a scary situation to find yourself in an active shooter situation or being

00:12:39.420 carjacked or mugged or an intruder in your home. I mean, it's very easy for those emotions to take

00:12:45.820 over. Absolutely. And it comes down to, in my opinion, by previously putting yourself in those

00:12:53.060 uncomfortable positions or uncomfortable situations to become comfortable. Now, obviously I'm not saying

00:12:58.400 to go and search out places where you can become a victim of an active shooter or something crazy like

00:13:04.040 that. Yeah. I mean, you're not talking about being in dangerous situations. No, no, but,

00:13:07.760 but searching out and going to classes or training classes out there that put you in stressful

00:13:15.100 situations so that when, and if that time actually comes, you will recognize it prior or you will just

00:13:22.340 recognize in general because of the prior training that you had. And, you know, it can't just be you

00:13:28.260 go once and then that's it. You know, it's maybe something that you go to annually. If there's a repeat

00:13:35.080 instructor or educator in your area that teaches that he comes, you know, to your area once every

00:13:40.440 year, then maybe that should be your annual audit, so to speak of your skillset. And yes, it's going

00:13:47.580 to cost money and yes, it's going to take time away from your family. But again, if you truly believe

00:13:51.960 that this is an important skill and a vital skill for you to learn and in the defense of yourself or

00:13:57.380 those that you love, I mean, the answer is simple, but again, for a lot of people, because they believe

00:14:02.320 that it quote unquote won't ever happen to me, they just brush it off and kind of just keep pushing

00:14:08.580 it off or brushing the dirt underneath the rug as, you know, it's commonly told. I can guarantee you

00:14:14.260 that the people out there that unfortunately have been victims of violence, whether that be in the

00:14:19.220 alleyway, leaving the bar in the parking garage late at night or in an active shooter situation,

00:14:25.180 anything of that nature, I can guarantee you that they didn't walk outside their house that

00:14:28.320 morning and said, man, today's gonna be a great day to potentially lose my life. Nobody expects

00:14:33.420 that. But because of the training that we can potentially use prior, it's going to set us up

00:14:40.000 for success. And like I tell all the students in my classes, like I pray and I hope that I will,

00:14:46.020 you know, that they will never be involved in a situation where they actually have to use

00:14:49.720 these life or death skills. The term that I use is adopted from my good friend, William

00:14:55.320 Maple of April risk consulting. And he uses the term of violent criminal actor instead of just a

00:14:59.860 criminal because it more, more or less directly described to the individual they're acting and

00:15:05.820 they are a violent criminal. So these people that go out in their day to day, they're nine to five

00:15:13.520 job, just like our nine to five job, but they are obviously involving in illegal activity and they want

00:15:19.880 just like an apex predator does in the wild. They want the most amount of calories, the least amount

00:15:24.900 of effort. So if you are going about your day to day, and you already have these skills prior,

00:15:31.460 the amazing thing is that it builds confidence in yourself. And when it comes down to it, when you're

00:15:37.660 put in these hairy and deadly and potentially life threatening situations, the confidence in your

00:15:44.200 abilities is more or less going to determine whether you're going to be a victim or the victor.

00:15:48.900 So by going in your day to day, and if this violent criminal actor happens to cross your path, and they

00:15:54.560 see you with your shoulders back with your eyes engaging with the environment around you, and just

00:15:59.940 having that just beaming self confidence, they're gonna be like, you know what, that's gonna take way too

00:16:04.200 much time, effort and energy for me to get what I want on him. And they're gonna go on to the potential

00:16:09.480 next victim just because they don't view you as worth it. Yeah, I mean, I imagine the best form

00:16:14.640 of defense is not even getting yourself into that situation. My son and I were down in Las Vegas

00:16:19.340 this last weekend, and we were walking down the strip. And it was it was a little emptier where

00:16:22.820 we were. And he saw this guy who was apparently homeless, and probably jacked up on drugs. And my

00:16:30.240 son said, let's go this way. And he went around and I said, Hey, that's a good job. And he's like,

00:16:33.760 why? What do you mean? And I said, Well, number one, you recognize something that was out of place

00:16:37.280 that could potentially be a threat. And then number two, you acted on it to get yourself

00:16:40.800 out of that situation before it could potentially even turn into a situation. Now granted, I'm sure

00:16:46.020 nothing would have happened. But still, the better move is to always be aware and keep yourself from

00:16:51.260 being a victim. The terminology that I utilize in my classes adopted by from my good friend Craig

00:16:57.360 Douglas of ShivWorks, he uses the term what's called task fixation. And what that means is that

00:17:03.320 throughout our day to day, we're in a constant flux of broadening or narrowing of our overall vision,

00:17:09.720 depending on what we're doing, whether we're inside of our car, you know, updating our Instagram

00:17:15.500 story, or we're looking up, you know, after we're done updating, or we're sitting in our car with our

00:17:23.000 eyes down fixated on the air conditioning to get it cool in the car. It's in that constant flux. So

00:17:28.820 people always kind of use the old adage of the Cooper color codes, like, you know, being code red,

00:17:35.200 like if you're in code red all the time, you will probably an extremely paranoid and stressful person

00:17:40.480 to the point where you're not even being productive in life. Exactly. Exactly. And you just have to

00:17:46.480 accept the fact that yes, there's going to be some points throughout your day that you are going to

00:17:50.780 be vulnerable. It's obviously a double edged sword. By being potentially vulnerable, it probably means

00:17:56.000 that you're interacting with your family, you know, with your wife at the restaurant, you don't have

00:18:00.520 your, you know, shoulders back to the wall, or, you know, complete glancing around, you're not,

00:18:04.820 you know, visually interacting with your wife or your family. But at the same time, by again,

00:18:10.180 having that prior training, even if you are potentially ambushed, you know, know what to do

00:18:14.980 and know how to react because of that recognition of the prior training that you had.

00:18:20.380 Well, and you can switch, I imagine, to different threat levels based on the situation very quickly

00:18:25.620 and rapidly too. I think about the, the practice of driving, think about all of the fine motor skills

00:18:31.980 and everything that needs to be observed in the act of driving 20, 25 miles an hour. And then when you

00:18:39.420 see somebody jump out in front of you, like how quickly you go to alert mode, hit the brake,

00:18:45.120 focus on that one individual swerve. If you need to, it's amazing how quickly we can

00:18:49.620 transfer from a relative comfort level to, okay, I'm focused, hyper-focused on this. I have a

00:18:56.440 threat. I have a situation. I need to identify this and act accordingly.

00:18:59.940 And that, again, comes down to us just having an overall intake of information from our surroundings.

00:19:07.580 And that could be as simple as before we open the door to the outside, you know, outside of the,

00:19:12.920 of our quote unquote safety bubble of our house, just peeking outside the window before we open the

00:19:17.340 door. Because again, that's technically unknown space that we have no idea what what's outside

00:19:20.880 there. But, but again, because we've gotten so overall comfortable, a lot of people go through

00:19:25.600 the same motions every day. They get up the same time, they go the same route to work, they park at

00:19:29.920 the same place, they walk in the same entrance to work every day. They kind of go through this monotonous

00:19:35.160 drone-ish type schedule every single day. So they may or may not take in, you know, what your son saw,

00:19:43.220 that, that abnormality that was in their flight path, so to speak.

00:19:49.480 Well, and the other thing I've noticed too, is people don't want to appear foolish.

00:19:52.560 So it would have been very easy for my son or anybody to say, Oh, this isn't a big deal.

00:19:57.620 I'm going to ignore this. I just need to keep doing this. When in all reality,

00:20:00.840 we have those intuitions for a reason. We should be willing to look potentially foolish in order to

00:20:07.300 protect ourselves and the people that we have a responsibility for.

00:20:10.600 It's because as humans, we potentially want to see the best in people. So by us walking around

00:20:18.440 and thinking the worst in people, it's kind of looked as taboo. Like if you probably say that to

00:20:24.680 an average person, like you are looking for the worst in people, they're probably going to think

00:20:29.300 that you're a horrible person. I necessarily don't do that, but I am not ignorant of the fact of how

00:20:35.320 humans are. I'm not ignorant of the fact that criminals are very good at what they do. That's

00:20:43.160 why they're able to engage in that conversation with you on the street and close that distance gap

00:20:50.000 because they are, you know, more or less similar to the showman in Vegas with the sleight of hand.

00:20:57.440 I don't know if you've ever seen those guys where they're able to basically pickpocket right off your

00:21:01.380 body. It's, it's, it's more or less the same. Obviously they're not necessarily taking things

00:21:05.860 off you and then giving it back to you. They're more or less trying to distract you with verbalization

00:21:09.840 to close that distance, take your mind off the fact that, you know, they're getting closer to you.

00:21:14.720 And now by them getting close to you, they have the upper hand in that, you know, less than two arms

00:21:20.540 reach situation and basically control it.

00:21:23.280 How do you read that though? I mean, let's just take that scenario. You have a potential

00:21:27.860 thief or somebody who wants to do violence to you. How do you determine if this is truly a threat

00:21:34.180 or not a threat at all? Or do you treat it all as a threat if it's unknown?

00:21:38.600 And again, actually going back to what you brought up early in regards to your intuition,

00:21:42.660 that's probably one of the greatest assets we have as human beings, but unfortunately is a lot of

00:21:49.660 times ignored because we don't feel that's necessary. And I've done very minimal research

00:21:54.520 on it myself. A lot of the concluding factors is that it's completely inconclusive in regards to

00:22:01.420 scientists doing research as to why that happens.

00:22:04.740 What? How powerful intuition is or the fact that we try to turn it off?

00:22:08.300 The fact that it does exist and how it actually exists because regardless of how or what it happens,

00:22:13.980 it has helped us more or less survive for thousands of years. So if you're going into that bar

00:22:19.460 with your significant other and you just have that quote unquote gut feeling, it's probably there

00:22:23.640 for a reason. Now, obviously, if you're having every single time you go out in public, it probably

00:22:27.560 means that you have anxiety and that needs to be taken care of. But if more or less you're a

00:22:32.280 confident man, you're a confident individual and you go out to just this one area and you're just

00:22:37.460 picking up those quote unquote vibes in the area that you're in, you're looking over to the left and

00:22:42.320 there's college kids drinking in the bar, getting revved up for the game. You look over to your right

00:22:47.000 and there's a couple getting into a fight and you just feel just kind of this buildup in the air

00:22:51.560 and you just feel that have that gut feeling. Probably that time for you to close that your

00:22:55.240 tab and, you know, tell your significant other that it's time to, to, to leave and go somewhere

00:22:59.320 else. A friend of mine, his name's Braxton McCoy. He was in Iraq with me and he talked about this

00:23:03.840 very thing. He was out on a patrol mission, a recruiting mission in Iraq. Did you go to Iraq as

00:23:08.420 well? Yes. I was in the Al-Anbar regions. Oh yeah. Ramadi. That's where I was.

00:23:12.480 I was kind of near the Syrian border. So the Al-Khaim area. Okay. He went out on a recruiting

00:23:18.820 mission and he had done this before probably a dozen or more times. And for whatever reason

00:23:22.880 that day, and I asked him, I said, why that day? And he was able to articulate a few things,

00:23:26.940 but at the end of the day, he didn't really come up with a clear reason, but he knew something was

00:23:32.100 going on. And that was the day that a guy came in with a, with a vest on with ball bearings and

00:23:38.200 basically blew himself up, shredded my friend up, broke both of his legs, broke both of his arms.

00:23:43.340 I mean, years and years of therapy and recovery. And he knew, and he recognized there was something,

00:23:49.660 he didn't know what it was, but there was something off that day. And obviously we know what happened.

00:23:56.820 And unfortunately in that context, obviously you can't tell his team leader, like I have a gut feeling

00:24:00.520 that we shouldn't go in there. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. I mean, the idea would be that the training

00:24:04.660 would take over and help offset the fact that there's a lot of violence and uncertainty going

00:24:10.320 on here. When it comes back to that original question as to how we can decipher and break

00:24:15.380 that down, that potential unknown that, you know, may be walking up to us on the street just by looking

00:24:21.660 at basic pre-assault cues or heuristic cues that that individual gives off. Some really kind of basic

00:24:28.980 ones are the abnormalities in regards to the environment or the situation that you're in.

00:24:34.060 And I was down in Tennessee teaching a two-day collaborative class with my good buddy,

00:24:38.620 Drew Estill of Bear Solutions. He's a former vet as well. And he owns a training company. I flew

00:24:42.660 down to him. He lives in the Clarksville, Tennessee area. And we taught a two-day pistol class. And we

00:24:47.900 had a couple in the class of male and female. And they came to the class because about, I think it was a

00:24:53.360 month or two prior to the class, they were involved in a home invasion. An individual cut open their

00:24:58.160 screen, came in. The boyfriend had an AR-15 at the ready, obviously scared the guy off.

00:25:04.060 And then again, kind of cursed with bad luck, she messaged us both today and told us that the soft

00:25:11.220 skills, the software skills that we went over in the class potentially saved her life. She was

00:25:15.280 leaving a gym and this individual started trailing her. And it was, you know, Tennessee,

00:25:21.380 90 plus degrees out. He had long pants on, a hoodie on, hood up, shoulders forward, you know,

00:25:27.160 hiding his face, just giving off again, those bad vibes, giving off those heuristic cues that he's

00:25:31.880 potential predator, shoulders forward, hiding his face, the abnormality being that he has clothing

00:25:37.200 on that doesn't fit in the exact environment that he's in. She called her boyfriend over.

00:25:42.780 Obviously, the potential aggressor, that unknown, saw that it was too much to risk on his end of

00:25:49.020 things. It was too much work for him. So he eventually bailed off and went somewhere else. But just simple

00:25:54.800 things like that, you know, her letting that potential unknown know that she sees him, that

00:26:01.100 she knows what's going on, that she's not going to be a victim, could have potentially startled him

00:26:05.220 off originally. She may or may not have even had to call her boyfriend over for assistance. But,

00:26:11.120 you know, thankfully, she did either way. Again, for the most part, most average violent criminal

00:26:16.180 actors don't want to put in any extra effort. They want, again, majority wise, a materialistic predator.

00:26:22.280 So jewelry, keys to your car, money, things that they can take from you. Obviously, the abnormality

00:26:29.640 to that or the one that's really difficult to pick up on are those sociopathic predators. They show no

00:26:36.620 emotion. They look just like you and I. They don't give off those heuristic cues, those pre-assault

00:26:42.680 cues. Again, they know what they're doing. They're psychologically off. Those are very difficult to

00:26:48.260 find. But the average person that's going to approach you on the street, the panhandler that may, you

00:26:52.780 know, pull out a weapon, they usually and again, I'm not going to say absolutes because absolutes is

00:26:57.880 pigeonholing yourself. But for the most part, they do give off those very, quote unquote, loud pre-assault

00:27:05.860 cues. And, you know, basically, I go over four of them, four basic ones. Before we get into that, I want

00:27:11.860 to ask because I'm a little confused why you call them violent criminal actors. Like to me, I hear

00:27:16.780 actors and I think that could potentially mean they're just putting on a show. But I mean, these

00:27:21.160 are serious stakes. I'm just trying to wrap my head around what you mean by that. This was a term

00:27:25.060 originally defined by my good friend, William April. He was in law enforcement as well as he has,

00:27:29.900 I'm pretty sure, a master's degree in psychology. So he goes around the country basically teaching these

00:27:34.480 specific soft skills. And the reason that he uses this specific terminology is to define exactly

00:27:41.560 what they're doing. Obviously, they are criminals because they aren't following the law. But more

00:27:47.020 or less, they use the word actors because they are acting out a specific role. They're not going to

00:27:52.400 come to me like, hey, I'm a criminal, I'm going to rob you. They're trying to use some type of ruse to

00:27:57.940 again, close that distance. Hey, man, do you have time? Do you have an extra cigarette? Do you know how to

00:28:02.780 get to XYZ? Can you help me out? My car just broke down. They're using some type of acting in order to

00:28:10.680 bring your threat level down, to calm you down, in order for them to snake their way in, more or less.

00:28:17.800 Interesting. Yeah, that's a challenge because human nature, I believe that the majority of us

00:28:23.500 are good, are inherently good. We want to do right. We want to do good. We want to be

00:28:27.980 compassionate and help other people. And if a guy said, hey, my car's broke down, I would naturally,

00:28:33.220 although I may or may not help him, I would naturally be more inclined to help an individual

00:28:38.180 under distress or in some sort of situation that I was capable of helping them with. So I could see,

00:28:45.960 I think this is why the four cues that you're going to go through are so critical because you

00:28:49.300 can start to read and see through some of this. And that's fine. You know, if you want to go help

00:28:54.000 somebody out, you know, if there is some type of, you know, car accident down the road, but

00:28:57.520 don't allow them to follow behind you because the minute that you give somebody's back, just like

00:29:03.820 in jujitsu, as we all know, it's all down South from there. So if you want to go help them out,

00:29:08.020 let them lead, let them be the ones in front of you so that you have control over the situation.

00:29:12.540 Last thing you want to do is give up that dominant position, more or less. You're the one leading and

00:29:18.420 now they're behind you and have complete dominance and control over the situation.

00:29:21.980 Yeah, that makes sense. I was, when I was down in Vegas, my son and I were at the gas station and

00:29:26.140 somebody came up and said, Hey, um, could we have a few dollars or something for food or whatever?

00:29:31.900 And I said, well, what is it that you're looking for? And he says, Oh, a burger. I'm like, well,

00:29:35.660 I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. So if you want to go into the gas station and pick a sandwich out,

00:29:41.320 I can do that. And so he went inside, he picked a sandwich out, of course, saw him the whole time.

00:29:46.580 Like you're talking about paid for the sandwich, let him be on his way. And we were right there,

00:29:50.840 public space. It was under my set of rules and my parameters, not his genuinely. I think the guy

00:29:56.600 just wanted a sandwich. So it worked out. Okay. Just really basic stuff like that. And you haven't even

00:30:01.820 heard my conversation regards as context, but to you, it more or less came naturally. You knew

00:30:06.560 not to just be like, Oh yeah, just, you know, come right in right behind me and just, you know,

00:30:10.820 take my back and let me take my wallet out in front of you. And let me, yeah, exactly. And again,

00:30:15.080 some people just don't know that in it and it's, you know, not really their fault. They just

00:30:20.760 have a different perception on the world. Well, I think they haven't been exposed to it to any degree.

00:30:27.560 And so maybe it's a little bit of ignorance, certainly a bit of idealism in that the world

00:30:34.840 is better maybe than it truly is at times. And, and it could put yourself in a real dangerous

00:30:39.920 situation. It also comes down to, you know, basically your lifestyle as to how you grew up

00:30:45.820 and where you grew up as a kid. I grew up in the city and it had its good and its bad part,

00:30:50.920 just like any other type of major city. So you kind of saw the normal interaction or the,

00:30:57.680 or the normalcy of day-to-day criminal interaction, drug deals, the, the weapons going in and out of

00:31:04.300 trunks. Like that's a very normal thing in those urban areas of the city for somebody that grew up

00:31:10.940 in the country. They again, don't have those quote unquote street smarts. A lot of people that do

00:31:17.000 grow up in the city kind of have that kind of born in some, not naturally, but just as a child,

00:31:21.600 you grow up and you see that and you recognize and you kind of store it in your data bank for later.

00:31:26.080 And it's there. Some people who grew up in the country, like where I live now, I live in a town

00:31:32.500 of, you know, 430 people with no work in traffic lights, one post office, one village store and no

00:31:37.920 police station. The crime rate here is like negative 4%. Like it just doesn't happen. To expect

00:31:43.180 somebody that grew up here to go to the city and have not regular, but those notions of

00:31:49.880 panhandlers like you and I have, it just may or may not be there because again, they've never

00:31:55.160 experienced it before. I keep coming back to this thing that I think one of the greatest dangers to

00:32:00.540 ourselves, especially in the context of this conversation is this outrage culture that we

00:32:06.140 live in. I mean, if heaven forbid that you look at somebody and classify them or categorize them

00:32:12.860 as a potential threat and treat it that way, and then you're going to get ridiculed and,

00:32:17.000 and just completely beat up over, Oh, you're judgmental. And how could you be like this?

00:32:22.900 And how could you be that way when all you're trying to do is keep yourself safe and protected?

00:32:28.380 Yeah. And, and a lot of people have, you know, unfortunately negative connotation when it comes

00:32:33.560 to the term profiling, um, for obvious reasons. But the reality is, is that profiling in itself

00:32:41.560 can potentially keep you alive just because of those, again, those abnormalities that are

00:32:49.360 standing out to you that aren't normally there. If you go to the same bar or restaurant or location

00:32:56.160 every day after work, every Friday, or just a regular place that you interact with by yourself or with your

00:33:01.380 family and something just stands out to you like a sore thumb, then it's not necessarily profiling.

00:33:06.920 It's just setting off a signal to yourself that just something is not right. And then it comes back

00:33:12.960 to having that, that gut feeling that we talked about earlier. And you've got to listen to it. You've

00:33:18.340 got to listen to it and respond to that. And from my perspective, more than you're worrying about

00:33:26.040 the perception of other people. Yep. And again, because of what I, with the society that we're in,

00:33:32.640 we're worried too much about what people think of us, the opinions of others, especially in a

00:33:37.540 potentially life-threatening situation, we're going to be worried about what people think of us

00:33:41.720 by dealing with, um, you know, a certain individual that may or may not is regularly designed to be

00:33:48.160 there or is supposed to be there. And I think there's ways to be tactful about it too, though,

00:33:52.800 right? I mean, well, for example, my son, that, that scenario I gave earlier, the tactful thing

00:33:57.120 was we just went a different route. Like it wasn't blatantly obvious. It was just, Hey,

00:34:02.160 this is our course of action. Here's how we're going to respond to this. And we're going to do

00:34:05.700 it low profile and make a course correction. And then all will be fine. And it wasn't like we,

00:34:10.300 we, we pointed him out or we called the cops on that individual. It was just a very simple

00:34:14.780 change in the way that we were walking. The same concept can be applied to that person that's

00:34:19.960 approaching you on the street that you recognize them, you know, before they are, you know, in your

00:34:26.020 personal space, that person that is approaching you on the street could very well be asking for

00:34:31.480 a cigarette or the time, but by simply just ask them just to hold up your again, set yourself for

00:34:37.040 success. You're not being rude. You're not calling them out. You're not screaming at them to, you know,

00:34:41.300 tell them, tell them to stay where they are. You're being very tactful about the situation,

00:34:45.660 but also very more or less dominant in regards to what, what asking what they want or to telling

00:34:52.560 them what to do. Cause a lot of times somebody will approach people on the street. And then I've

00:34:56.440 seen it multiple times where somebody be like, Hey man. And then the person that's being approached

00:35:01.740 is like, yeah, how can I help you? And by inadvertently saying, how can I help you? You

00:35:06.800 are allowing them to enter that space. Right. You're inviting them in. Exactly. And again,

00:35:12.900 because we, because we don't think about it because, you know, we don't think about that

00:35:16.320 person that's approaching us could very well, pull out a knife, pull out a gun or cause injury

00:35:20.700 to us. But again, by just telling them to stay where they're at politely and by, you know,

00:35:25.560 potentially asking them what they want or, you know, providing them if it's, you know, obviously

00:35:30.880 not money, you know, if you do want to give money, cool, all more power to you. But if it's something

00:35:34.860 simple like, um, the time or how to get somewhere, you can definitely give that those directions

00:35:40.640 or that time from a good positional space. There was a well-known doorman in the UK back

00:35:48.000 in the eighties. His name was Jeff Thompson, G E O F F Thompson. Um, he's written a bunch

00:35:52.920 of books, very well-known self-defense teacher. One of his best books is called the 10 second

00:35:58.080 fighter. It's only about 90 pages, really quick read. And it basically goes into those potential

00:36:03.040 pre-threat cues and how to position your hands. So he uses a term called a high fence or a high

00:36:10.100 compressed fence. It's basically when you're talking to somebody, you're keeping your arms

00:36:15.140 high and compressed to your body. So the elbows are in, you know, to your rib cage and your palms

00:36:20.460 are facing outwards. Um, so regardless if there's a language barrier, if there's some type of mental

00:36:25.600 deficiency, so if there's a mental handicap, a lot of people that have some type of autism or

00:36:31.660 Asperger's don't have that spatial awareness to their surroundings. Or if they're deaf by having

00:36:37.460 those palms outwards, everybody understands what that means. It means that I cause no harm or I'm

00:36:41.780 going to cause no harm and just hold up where you're at. And also obviously gives no threat to

00:36:47.620 that person. So you're not talking to them with closed fits. Like you're about to, you know, box

00:36:51.080 them out in the face by also having your hands recoiled to your body. They are just that they're

00:36:56.600 recoiled. So if you do potentially need to throw some type of offensive strike, it's already there ready

00:37:02.400 to go. But by having, again, those palms outwards, you can talk to them by moving your hands. I like

00:37:07.440 to compare it as the Italian hands, how people talk with their hands similar to that. Sure. Yeah.

00:37:13.660 Yeah. By simply doing that, you're not causing fear in that individual to potentially escalate

00:37:19.660 the situation, especially when you're dealing with a lot of drunk guys at bars, when you're

00:37:24.600 closing out for the night, last thing you want to do is escalate the situation. Right. I mean,

00:37:27.600 mental instability, frankly. Yes. Yes. And the last thing you want to do is escalate the situation.

00:37:32.140 So by just by talking to them, you know, tactfully, respectfully, and just by keeping those, you

00:37:37.500 know, palms outward and just by talking to them, just very simply like that, you could very easily

00:37:44.040 walk away from a situation, you know, without any type of injury or deescalate situation if the person

00:37:49.560 came to you with potential violence already. And I think this is really important. We talk about

00:37:54.520 this. We're going to get back to the four Qs, I promise. But I think it's important that we talk

00:37:59.500 about the priority in which you ought to engage or disengage. I think the first step is to

00:38:05.820 disengage. I think that is the ideal situation. But from my perspective, I think a lot of men think

00:38:10.920 that's retreating or that's weakness and showing weakness. Talk to me about that.

00:38:16.300 Obviously, if you recognize a person early enough that, again, is giving off that bad vibe and you

00:38:22.400 very easily just cross the street or did what your son did, avoid the person entirely by going a

00:38:28.160 different route. Easy day. I don't have to deal with any type of verbalization. I don't have to

00:38:32.540 talk to the person because, again, you recognize that person early enough. Although that's the

00:38:36.340 best case scenario. Worst case scenario is obviously this person is engaging with you. You bumped into

00:38:42.760 him. He's having a bad day. You looked at him wrong. Whatever the situation is, either way, you're now

00:38:47.660 engaged in this close distance with this individual, calling you profanity words, whatever it is.

00:38:54.160 And yes, for a lot of men out there, they do have that temper. And a lot of times I'll hear people

00:39:03.300 in my travels cough up their violence in their past to their temper. Oh, yeah. Well, you know,

00:39:09.540 I really bad temper or yeah, I would never, you know, I, this guy was talking smack to me. So,

00:39:14.180 you know, we got, we got in a fistfight, whatever it is. And, you know, whatever it's their personal

00:39:19.140 choice, if that's what they want to do, that's fine. But for me, I have absolutely no issue with

00:39:24.680 condoning what they're calling me. Sure. If they have an issue like, Hey man, you're a piece of

00:39:29.500 shit. You're just so fucking ugly, whatever it is. Yeah. You know what, dude, I'm a real piece of

00:39:33.280 shit. You're right. You're right. You are so much stronger than me. You are so much bigger than me.

00:39:36.760 You are completely right, dude. I am so sorry for pumping in you earlier. Do you, do you want me to get

00:39:41.040 that beer for you? Something as simple as that. Okay. But again, because people, a lot of men have so much

00:39:47.280 ego that they don't want to drop that and let them be the non-dominant one, the, the passive

00:39:53.880 individual, they get into this, you know, head-butting match where they're going to try to

00:39:58.700 see who's the winner. As you and I know, that potentially doesn't end up very well, could

00:40:03.600 potentially end up with both of you in jail, one of you in jail, somebody with a broken something.

00:40:08.780 However it is, your night isn't going to go as you expected just because you didn't, you allowed your

00:40:14.200 ego to get in the way of things. It's a hard line to stay behind for a lot of guys, you know,

00:40:20.420 especially for people who have a lot of pride in themselves. And again, because their potential

00:40:25.840 upbringing with their family, that may have been a thing that that was instilled to them

00:40:29.860 since they were a child. Like, don't let anybody call you that, or don't let anybody ever do this

00:40:35.060 to you, this, that, or the other thing. So it's, it's very difficult sometimes for men to just be

00:40:41.600 able to kind of just brush to the side or just let it fall off their shoulder. But for me, I can tell

00:40:46.540 you firsthand, I have absolutely no issue with that. At the end of the day, I want to go home

00:40:50.140 to my wife and my kids. I don't want to end up in a jail or in a hospital or in court for a number

00:40:55.820 of years. Or the morgue. Or the morgue. Absolutely. That's that, you know, worst case scenario right

00:41:01.560 there. Similar to an example that is, you know, before I moved up north about four years ago, I was

00:41:07.440 working at a bar. Two, two days before that I was done with the job and I was moving up here

00:41:12.300 and we were closing out for the night. And, you know, a little stereotypical Italian kid from

00:41:17.880 North End of Boston had too many Bud Lights to drink, getting mouthy. We're pushing him out the

00:41:22.160 door. We get him outside and he starts banging on the glass door. And obviously we don't want him to

00:41:26.560 injure our property or injure himself. God forbid he blasts his fist through the glass and ends up

00:41:31.320 cutting himself. So as we open the door, he starts reaching for his waistline. So one of the other

00:41:35.880 guys I started working with, just very quickly, wasn't like a huge haymaker. He already has hands

00:41:40.980 in front of his body. So he didn't really have a lot of power behind his punch, but very quickly

00:41:46.320 just kind of pushed him off. But because of how inebriated the guy was, he tripped over himself,

00:41:53.280 smashes back of his head off his pavement. And then of course, ended up with that, you know,

00:41:57.340 the whole infamous, you know, world star hip hop circle. People are, you know, filming on their cell

00:42:01.700 phones. People are screaming for police. And even a year after, you know, when I first opened up

00:42:07.360 here, I was having to go all the way back into Boston to deal with the court just for me being

00:42:12.500 a witness there. I wasn't personally involved with it, but because I was there with him when it

00:42:16.980 happened, I was a witness in the case. So that means I had to deal with that. So people really

00:42:20.640 want, don't really take a lot of men don't take that into consideration in the moment because again,

00:42:25.200 they're basing their actions solely on their emotion. Gents, we're winding down on the last call

00:42:31.940 for the inaugural order of man legacy experience. What is this? This is a three and a half day

00:42:37.760 event, September 20th through the 23rd, 2018. It's going to be held in the mountains of Southern

00:42:42.900 Utah, my home area, and it's designed to help you usher your son into manhood. That's the bottom

00:42:49.340 line. I believe that one of our primary responsibilities as men is to help our young men understand

00:42:54.900 our valuable role in society. I mean, too often our boys are being raised by exclusively women

00:43:01.380 in an overly effeminate society that asked them to put away anything that makes them male. We

00:43:07.580 believe a little differently and believe that it's our job to encourage masculinity and to help them

00:43:12.580 understand how to use it effectively. And that's what the legacy experience is all about. If you have

00:43:18.040 a son between the ages of eight to 15, and you want the tools, guidance, and the framework for

00:43:23.500 helping him become a man by working through a rite of passage together, then the legacy experience

00:43:29.900 is for you. You got to do it quickly. We only have two spots remaining, just two. And I'm probably not

00:43:34.760 going to have to mention this any more than maybe once or twice, if that. So if you are interested,

00:43:39.460 head to orderofman.com slash legacy. Again, that's orderofman.com slash legacy to learn more about it and

00:43:47.520 lock in your spot. Again, September 20th through the 23rd, 2018 orderofman.com slash legacy. With

00:43:54.920 that said, guys, let's jump right back into the conversation with Ian. I want to get again to the

00:44:00.520 four Qs, but before I do, is there anything that guys can do from an appearance perspective?

00:44:05.140 Obviously the things that come to mind for me is being strong, physically fit, just by looking at

00:44:10.440 you, the guy's physically fit. That's probably a deterrent. Quite honestly, I believe my beard is a

00:44:15.360 deterrent because it says, here's a wall, like, leave me alone. I'm not interested in having

00:44:19.420 engagements that I'm not interested in having. Yeah. So from my personal experience, you know,

00:44:24.720 agreeing with you in regards to something as simply as having facial hair, regardless if that

00:44:29.960 person approaching you realizes or not, it's a subconscious processing in our brain that that

00:44:36.200 guy is thinking, okay, that that guy is mature. He's older, may potentially be stronger. Another one is

00:44:42.380 tattoos, especially if they're in areas of the body that they show or in areas that, you know,

00:44:49.260 hurt. You can very quickly know that that person doesn't care what other people think of him,

00:44:53.660 or he has a high pain tolerance. Yeah. I would never mess with a guy with a face tattoo.

00:44:58.980 Something to me is like, this guy has a high tolerance for pain, or he's, he thinks on a

00:45:04.820 different level, we'll say than I do. And definitely lifting as well. Um, but I think,

00:45:11.240 you know, in regards to lifting, I don't think you have to be the size of a, you know, power lifter

00:45:17.080 or a strong man, but just definitely having a basic build and not just, you know, looking like a

00:45:23.020 20 pounds of shit shoved in a five pound bag, you are going to present yourself as, you know,

00:45:30.580 being somebody not to mess with, but beyond all of that, I think just having that aura of confidence.

00:45:37.240 And again, that's by going back to what we originally started talking about, you know,

00:45:41.380 purposely putting yourself in uncomfortable situations to be comfortable. That could be

00:45:46.460 jujitsu. That could be climbing up the corporate ladder in your job. You know, if you're afraid of

00:45:51.100 public speaking and you fought past that, and now you're, you know, in charge of the meetings at

00:45:55.340 your company or, you know, going to the gym and crushing that squat or that PR, just something

00:46:02.320 that pushes you past your previously preconceived notions of your limits. Because a lot of times

00:46:10.360 people will use fitness, for example, will approach a bar and say in their mind, man, I can't pull this

00:46:17.640 deadlift. It's too heavy. And what happens? They can't pull it. Having that mindset, that confidence

00:46:23.280 ingrained as you're approaching the bar is going to set you up for success. If you allow that notion

00:46:29.760 of doubt and fear to creep into your mind, it's like poison. The minute that it goes in, it's just

00:46:35.500 going to start eating away at your brain, at your mindset, and at your abilities. And I think a lot

00:46:41.000 of times people don't really take that into consideration, especially with a lot of people

00:46:45.180 that I deal with in my space of teaching in the gun community. A lot of people think that just by

00:46:52.260 carrying a gun is good enough or even carrying a gun and coming to my classes is good enough. It's

00:46:58.100 much more than that. Carrying a gun is just one of the many skills that as a man, I personally think

00:47:04.320 that you should have at the ready. You dubbed it multidisciplinary tactician, right? Yeah. And

00:47:10.340 you know, it's not just about the gun, the blade, the mindset, the athleticism, the medical skills,

00:47:15.020 the verbal acuity. It's an all-encompassing skill set. And the way that I describe it is if you were

00:47:21.140 to cut an old oak tree in half and look at the rings in the trunk, you will see the rings obviously

00:47:27.100 get bigger and bigger the closer you get to the outside of the trunk. And that can kind of be

00:47:30.620 compared to the development of those skill sets. Let's say you only have, you don't want to,

00:47:36.100 you only want to do six months of each to do six months of jiu-jitsu consistently. Okay,

00:47:40.120 I'm good with that. Now I'm going to do six months of just consistent pistol work with every local

00:47:44.760 training class for pistol work. Okay, that's solid. Same thing with the rifle. Same thing with blade

00:47:49.260 work. Same thing with medical skills. If I'm uncomfortable with public speaking, I'm going

00:47:54.280 to go to a Toastmasters event that's in my area. Really basic stuff like that. And eventually,

00:48:00.140 if you keep doing that in a repetitive cycle, those rings, in theory, will get bigger. But again,

00:48:06.400 because it's going to take a lot of time, effort, and energy out of your life, a lot of people

00:48:11.940 ultimately won't do it. But beyond all those skills, I still feel that mindset or mind grit or

00:48:19.400 having that unbreakable soul is by far the most powerful tool that you can have. As I explain to

00:48:25.460 my students in the safety brief I give before I teach my class, I say, you know, you can come to

00:48:29.820 my classes. I definitely appreciate it. And we can have a good time today, which we are. And we can

00:48:34.400 build a good network of friends. And we can obviously get better, get better at the mechanical

00:48:38.620 skills that we're going to learn today. But if you do carry concealed every day, and you strap up,

00:48:44.440 and you go into your bathroom, and you look at yourself in the mirror before you start your day,

00:48:48.780 and you can't say to yourself, today may be the day that I may ultimately have to take another

00:48:53.560 person's life in defense of myself or those that I love, then carrying that on your hip is all null and

00:48:58.220 void. It's just an overweight paperweight that could potentially be taken away from you and used

00:49:02.160 against you. That's a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. Because again, I personally feel

00:49:06.800 against my opinion, people, I kind of got into heated debates with people about this. But I

00:49:11.060 personally don't feel that that can be cultivated truly as an adult. I feel like that's really

00:49:16.860 cultivated as a child, as you're growing up, to be pushed to have that good leadership, that good

00:49:25.000 family structure to always prevail. Again, I'm not really saying that it 100% can't happen as an

00:49:32.540 adult, but it's definitely going to be more difficult because you're not, you don't have those

00:49:36.580 preconceived ideas or those pre-meditated ideas of what it's like to be uncomfortable because you

00:49:44.120 never experienced it as a child. Let's go back, and I think this would be something good to wind

00:49:48.720 down on, but let's go back to the four cues that I took you away from 20 minutes ago or whatever it

00:49:53.760 was. No worries, no worries. Remind us what these are. These are the four cues that potentially somebody

00:49:58.100 is a threat. Is that what we're looking at here? Yeah. So these cues can be potentially looked at as

00:50:04.660 what happens prior to a criminal assault. Okay. And a good example as to if people doubt me on this,

00:50:10.720 if people go to liveleak.com, it's basically a YouTube-esque type website that deals with dash

00:50:17.760 camera videos from law enforcement or closed circuit security cameras. If you want to see how real fights

00:50:22.180 occur, that's kind of what I tell my students to go and look. And the four cues can basically be

00:50:27.480 grouped into one cluster or three can be grouped into one cluster and then one standalone.

00:50:32.380 When it comes to a cluster, you want to look at multiple scenarios together, right? If they only

00:50:37.040 have one of these situations, it's not as significant as if you have three different

00:50:42.680 behaviors that fall into a cluster. Exactly. Like if one of these happens,

00:50:46.060 it doesn't mean that you can automatically punch them in the face or draw your gun.

00:50:49.000 Right. But if you start to see more than one, okay, we've got something here we need to really be

00:50:52.860 aware of. And beyond all else, just as we talked about before, if these are happening and you're

00:50:57.960 having that gut feeling go off, then yes, it's go time. So the first is what's called a grooming cue.

00:51:04.500 Again, from law enforcement that have done repeated breakdowns with criminals that they bring in,

00:51:11.800 and they've talked to them, as well as again, the minimal research that I've done on my own,

00:51:17.000 it's more of a cue that kind of should show you that they're lying, that they're being deceptive.

00:51:23.720 And this can be any movement of their hand or their hands to their face. So pinching of the

00:51:31.020 bridge of their nose, rubbing of the forehead, rubbing of the cheek, rubbing of the beard or the

00:51:36.280 chin, taking your hand, pointing your fingers backwards and rubbing your neck. All of these allow

00:51:43.040 this unknown individual to break eye contact with you. So I'm sure as you figured out, as well as I have

00:51:51.940 as a parent, children are inherently horrible at lying. And you can tell immediately by looking

00:51:59.000 into their eyes. And if they're lying, they immediately try to avert them. So criminals

00:52:04.760 more or less do the same. If they are trying to close that gap on you and are making up some type

00:52:10.440 of ruse, hey, do you have the time? Do you have a cigarette? They'll probably be doing the grooming

00:52:14.840 cue at the exact same time. And you'll see that break of eye contact. And also because if they are a

00:52:20.920 normal criminal of the penal system, and this is in their first rodeo, they know that top level

00:52:27.480 interrogators know what to look for in their eyes to tell if somebody's lying.

00:52:33.500 Interesting.

00:52:33.960 The second cue kind of goes hand in hand with the grooming cue. And this is called

00:52:37.380 target glancing. And target glancing is a movement of their head to the nine, the three,

00:52:45.200 or the six o'clock. And again, this can blend very easily into that grooming cue because as

00:52:51.140 they're rubbing their neck, they can be transitioning their head to the nine or the three o'clock or even

00:52:55.580 the six. And the reason that they're doing this is to look for any potential witnesses that could

00:53:01.640 be used against them in a court of law for the crime that they're about to commit. Along with that,

00:53:07.360 especially in today's technological ridden age, they're probably also looking for any security

00:53:11.660 cameras around that, again, could potentially be used against them in a court of law.

00:53:15.600 So those two kind of blend very easily together. The third cue will more than likely happen if the

00:53:23.760 person, if the unknown individual has already closed that distance and now they're verbalizing with you

00:53:28.760 basically nose to nose. And this is what's known as a definitive weight shift. This is where they're

00:53:35.160 bringing their dominant leg back. And again, if anybody's listening that has done boxing or striking

00:53:42.200 art knows it's because they're preloading their hips prior to the strike that they're about to

00:53:48.360 throw, probably a haymaker. So if those two have happened and he's closed the distance and now he's

00:53:55.520 taken a step back, it's game time. It's on.

00:53:59.080 Interesting. And at that point, you have a very limited time to react to that.

00:54:03.260 Yes. And that is when I go over, you know, throwing some type of eye jab.

00:54:09.220 Just quick, just to break up the routine.

00:54:11.980 The cues as well as the eye jab, I definitely credit to my good friend Craig Douglas as well.

00:54:16.380 But the reason he explains as well as I explain the eye jab is again, if this person has some type

00:54:21.920 of mental deficiency, if there's a language barrier, if they're deaf and they're not understanding what

00:54:26.840 you're saying, I would much rather be in court over a scratch cornea than breaking a mentally handicapped

00:54:34.780 dude's jaw because I wanted to, you know, throw a closed fist at his face.

00:54:39.040 Well, and I imagine too, it's, it's much more effective. A pinky finger could render them useless

00:54:44.960 versus a big haymaker and you miss the target or the dude's got a strong chin and you're still in the

00:54:51.380 same position you were before.

00:54:53.060 For a lot of people that again, like we talked about earlier today, that, that you mentioned

00:54:56.860 people that believe that they're going to rise to the occasion, guarantee you those people are

00:55:00.780 going to throw that potentially closed fist. Now they're going to break their hand and now they're

00:55:04.760 even in a bigger shit sandwich than they were already in.

00:55:06.980 Sure.

00:55:07.280 So by throwing that potential eye jab, you're rendering the person useless for a brief moment

00:55:13.160 in time for you to, if you throw an eye jab and you see that they have a weapon in their hand,

00:55:17.300 obviously, you know, do follow up strikes, you know, whatever you want, or best case scenario,

00:55:22.360 just get the hell out of that situation.

00:55:23.560 Yeah, disengage.

00:55:24.540 And then the fourth standalone is a movement of their hands to their waistline because regardless

00:55:31.920 of what the average person thinks, criminals carry tools in the same places that we do. So,

00:55:38.520 you know, if they're carrying a firearm or a contact weapon, like a, like a blade or anything

00:55:43.160 of that nature, it's more like you're going to be stuffed somewhere in their waistline or their

00:55:46.900 pocket. So again, if any of those three are happening and you're, again, that, that gut

00:55:51.700 feeling is in place or this guy's approaching you and having those heuristic cues that are out

00:55:56.960 of place, like I talked about earlier with, you know, that, uh, that person that approached my

00:56:00.560 student with the hoodie on the pants and 90 degree weather, and you see them start going for their

00:56:04.960 waistline, then again, it's probably go time and you might want to get ready for that.

00:56:08.900 Well, Ian, this has been fascinating. Obviously there's so much more to this and it's not just

00:56:13.620 talk. I mean, that's the thing. A lot of guys will hear this and think, okay,

00:56:16.420 I've got some ideas. No, maybe you have some ideas, but now you have to go put them into action

00:56:21.060 so that you can practice and get yourself in a situation where if something like this happens,

00:56:25.700 you're able to defend yourself and the people you care about. So how do we connect with you?

00:56:29.340 How do we learn more? Cause you're in New Hampshire, right?

00:56:32.200 Correct. Um, but I do travel all over the United States this year. I've been all over the West

00:56:37.100 coast in Washington and Oregon. I'm going to California later this year, as well as back to

00:56:42.220 Washington. I think, uh, actually this weekend I'll be going down to the Georgia and Alabama area,

00:56:47.980 as well as Texas and Florida. I'm pretty much all over. So if, if there isn't a date or a place that

00:56:54.340 coincides with you, again, I'm more than welcome to tailor myself to come out to you and get some good

00:56:59.860 learning out to you as well. And all of my information can be found on my website,

00:57:04.440 which is runenationllc.com. My Facebook and Instagram is the same runenationllc. My email

00:57:12.220 is runenationllc at Gmail. Along with that, I'm highly involved with a collective group of experts

00:57:19.000 known as Greyhive. The website is greyhive.com. And we come from all facets of life from the military

00:57:25.320 soft community to law enforcement, to psychology. And basically we're just trying to create a tight

00:57:31.960 network of well-known and knowledgeable people that the average consumer can come to online

00:57:39.900 and get accredited and valuable information. Because I do understand that for a lot of people

00:57:45.800 out there, having just time to breathe in your day-to-day life is hard enough. So forget about

00:57:51.220 spending the time and money and the effort coming out to a class. I do understand that. So this is kind

00:57:57.540 of our way to get, again, this valuable information out to the average consumer who may or may not be

00:58:04.080 able to get that hands-on training. Right on, man. We'll make sure we link it up so the guys know

00:58:08.660 exactly where to go. I'll ask you this final question as we wind down here. What does it mean

00:58:13.380 to be a man? To me, a man is somebody that is valued and trusted in their community. Someone who is

00:58:21.320 always willing to push themselves past their preconceived limits, like we talked about earlier.

00:58:28.180 The worst thing, in my opinion, a man can do is stay stagnant and basically allow themselves to rot

00:58:34.740 in their day-to-day life. You should always be pushing and should always be striving to be better

00:58:39.580 because my opinion, perfection is unrealistic, but we should always strive to get to it daily if possible.

00:58:47.300 Right on. That's powerful. I know the guys are going to resonate with that. Well, Ian,

00:58:50.020 I appreciate you, man. I know it's been a long time in the works, but I appreciate your patience and

00:58:53.860 of course you taking some time to impart some of this wisdom on us. Much needed. Hopefully we'll

00:58:58.640 never have to use this, but I would rather know how to use some of these tactics and strategies and

00:59:02.920 tools and skill sets, but not need them. So appreciate you, brother. Thanks for coming on the

00:59:06.400 show today. Absolutely. Thank you and have a great rest of your day. There it is, guys. My conversation

00:59:12.300 with Ian Strimbeck. I hope that you enjoyed this one as much as I did. I would encourage you to

00:59:16.780 connect with Ian, see what courses he's offering, see where he's offering them because there's only

00:59:21.720 so much that we can do when it comes to talking about this. You really have to apply a lot of

00:59:27.320 this information. So if you're looking for some sort of course and learning about the tactics and

00:59:31.220 the strategies and the things that we talked about today, I really can't think of anyone better than

00:59:35.340 Ian to help you with that. So go check out his site, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram,

00:59:39.700 Twitter, YouTube, wherever you are on social media. I am very, very active on Twitter. I answer a lot

00:59:46.520 of questions over there. So if you have a question of me, you can go to Twitter and search for me at

00:59:51.420 order of man. And I'm also extremely, extremely active on my personal account on Instagram and

00:59:57.340 that's at Ryan Mickler, M I C H L E R. So go check it out there. Let us know what you think of the show.

01:00:03.140 As always, guys, I always finish this by saying thank you. I appreciate you being here. Stoked that

01:00:08.120 you're here with us and we just couldn't do it without you. And we know, man, we need more good,

01:00:13.740 honorable, strong, virtuous men in this battle to reclaim what it means to be a man. And you guys

01:00:20.200 are doing it. And I appreciate the help and support along the way. So with that said, I will sign out

01:00:24.860 for the day. Make sure you subscribe, leave that rating review if you haven't done it yet. And until

01:00:29.120 tomorrow for our ask me anything, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

01:00:33.660 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

01:00:39.280 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - August 28, 2018

The Softer Side of Violence ｜ IAN STRIMBECK

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