Order of Man - The Steady Decline of Society, Cultivating Aggressive Patience, and Dealing With Disrespect ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:27.940 and I am the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. I want to welcome you

00:00:32.580 here and, of course, welcome you back if you've been with us for any amount of time. You know what

00:00:38.280 we're doing here, guys. We're reclaiming and restoring masculinity. It's growing. The trend,

00:00:44.040 anyways, is growing to disregard, to undermine, to uproot, to redefine masculinity at every step, 0.84

00:00:51.680 and I think it's dangerous. I think it's a very dangerous precedent that society in general is

00:00:56.180 setting, and it's up to you and me and other strong and courageous, capable, bold men to reverse

00:01:01.880 the trend, to reverse the tide. That's what we're doing here. We've got this podcast. We've got our

00:01:06.980 exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council. We've got our social media platforms and outlets. We've got

00:01:13.460 a book, Sovereignty, the Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. We're spreading the good word

00:01:17.180 through all of these mediums and platforms. I only ask that you share it. If you've ever gotten

00:01:22.040 any value when it comes to being a better father, husband, business owner, community leader, etc.,

00:01:27.060 etc., then I only ask that you share the work that we're doing here, whether it's the podcast or the

00:01:31.860 book or the social media platforms or whatever. One quick announcement before I get into your

00:01:37.640 questions. This week, we have our legacy event coming up. That's going to be held September 23rd to

00:01:44.040 the 26th, 2021 here on my property in Maine. This is our first one in Maine, our first legacy father-son

00:01:51.380 event for boys between the ages of 8 to 15 and their fathers. We only have four spots as of

00:01:57.000 yesterday morning, only four left. We have 20 guys come out with their boy or boys, and that's filling

00:02:04.400 up very, very quickly. So if you want to know more about what we're doing over three and a half days

00:02:07.740 with you and your son, then head to orderofman.com slash legacy, orderofman.com slash legacy. All right.

00:02:15.700 With that said, guys, this is the ask me anything where I attempt to answer your questions. These

00:02:24.500 questions are coming from Instagram. Now, guys, I know you're so used to having Kip here, and normally

00:02:29.300 he would be, but this is our third week in a row where we just haven't been able to work out our

00:02:33.280 schedules. But that's the power and the beauty of having two of us to do these ask many things. If

00:02:38.200 he needs to cover for me, he'll do that, which he did a couple of weeks ago. If I need to cover for

00:02:42.440 him, I can ride this thing solo. And so as much as I would like to have Kip back, and I'm sure you

00:02:47.660 would as well, I'm pretty sure he's coming back next week. All right. So you're just going to have

00:02:52.700 to bear with it, bear with me and get my perspective, not necessarily mine and his. So again,

00:02:59.440 these are coming from Instagram. I had solicited these questions about a week ago, and I got

00:03:04.980 through last week a bunch of them, but we've got a bunch more, and we've got some very good questions

00:03:08.840 in here. So I'm just going to jump right into it. All right, here we go. Number one, the band of bros,

00:03:14.420 he says, I find it hard to focus on a task sometimes as I have so much to do with very little spare time.

00:03:22.840 What is your best advice to remedy this problem? Really appreciate your content, by the way. So we're

00:03:28.440 talking about focusing on a task at hand. Number one, I think you have to have the mindset

00:03:34.700 of resolve and resolution, that you're not going to move on to anything else until this gets done

00:03:41.200 and taken care of. Whether it's a project or a task or an assignment or something at work or

00:03:46.060 something at home, a to-do list item, that you just have the mindset that you're not going to move

00:03:51.360 on to anything else until this thing gets done. And that's going to get you through not wanting to do it,

00:03:56.420 being distracted, wanting to do something else, priorities changing if you have the right mindset.

00:04:02.740 Number two, eliminate the distractions. It's very, very important that you eliminate the

00:04:07.340 distractions. We've got these phones and we've got notifications and gadgets and gizmos and people

00:04:12.980 clamoring for our time and attention and energy. And we've got these to-do lists and our environments

00:04:19.280 are so cluttered and clustered that it's very easy to look at the bright, shiny object and see

00:04:25.220 what's next and want to move on to the next thing. Don't do that. Get rid of those distractions and

00:04:32.940 you know what's distracting you. And if you don't, start documenting it. Start writing it down so you

00:04:38.220 know what you're getting distracted by and then you can eliminate and put the systems in place so

00:04:42.460 they're not distracting you. Number three, and here's my final tip for you, although there's

00:04:47.200 significantly more than this, just don't do so much. Like we do so much every single day. We're inundated

00:04:58.520 with everything that we're doing and all the work and all the tasks and all the assignments and all

00:05:04.000 the opportunities. And we have fear of missing out if we happen to miss a conference or an event or an

00:05:10.420 experience that one of our friends or somebody is hosting and holding. And we just, we do so much.

00:05:17.160 Stop doing so much. Even within this business, I want to be, I don't want to be lazy. I don't want

00:05:22.640 to say that. I, although at times I tend to be, I want to do the least amount of work for the highest

00:05:30.380 possible return. That could be within my family dynamic or here within the work dynamic. But your

00:05:37.940 goal should be not to be busy, but to be efficient and effective as possible. And sometimes that means

00:05:43.200 that you need to do less. And that is the Pareto principle. If you guys are familiar with that,

00:05:49.320 it's the 80, 20 rule that 80% of your results will come through 20% of your efforts.

00:05:54.740 But most of us spend so much time focusing on the 80% of the work that yields the 20% that we don't

00:06:01.740 have time for the 20% that yields the 80%. So you really, really need to inventory your day,

00:06:08.760 inventory how you spend your time and your activities and ask yourself, is this the 80%

00:06:13.640 non-important work that I'm doing right now? Or is this the 20% extremely hyper important work

00:06:20.180 that I need to be focusing on so that I can produce the best results possible? Ask yourself that,

00:06:27.200 document your answers to those questions. And I think you'll start being more efficient,

00:06:32.700 more effective with less time. And I think that'll help. All right, there you go.

00:06:39.580 This one comes from SD underscore Booker. What's your take on quote unquote, all men are created equal

00:06:45.100 versus quote social equality. Well, I think there's some conflated terms here. All men are created equal

00:06:53.080 versus social equality. I actually think in the context of this question, those are one and the

00:06:59.540 same. I think what you might be referring to is social equity. So there's equality under the law,

00:07:08.100 for example. And then there's social equality, all men are created equal. And then there's social

00:07:13.540 equity. And those are different things. And it's very, very important that you and I understand the

00:07:19.280 distinction between the two. It's also very important that we understand the word games that

00:07:27.260 are being played with terms like equality and equity, because they mean different things to

00:07:32.260 different people. But generally, here's what it means. Equality is that we are all equal under the law

00:07:40.040 and or equal under God, that we all have certain unalienable rights, life, liberty, and the pursuit of

00:07:46.740 happiness. That applies to everybody, right? That applies to gay, straight, black, white, purple,

00:07:53.840 green, transgender, everybody. We all have equal rights under the law. And what's interesting is

00:07:58.840 you have a lot of people that are talking about, for example, systematic racism right now. Think about

00:08:04.460 those terms. Systematic, or excuse me, systemic. Sorry, I said that incorrectly. Systemic racism.

00:08:12.260 What is systemic racism? Well, system, system, systemic means that there's systems in place

00:08:21.340 that are inherently racist. Well, that actually isn't true. Now, I'm not saying that racism doesn't

00:08:27.480 exist. But I would like somebody who claims that there is systemic racism to show me what laws,

00:08:35.800 what systems are written or on the books that are racist, because those have all been done away

00:08:43.280 with. Okay. So all of us are equal under the law, and we're equal under God. Those are the rights.

00:08:52.520 Those are the founding principles of this country, the United States. We haven't always lived up to

00:08:58.460 those ideals. Racism certainly still exists. I would say it's far less than it's ever been in any time in

00:09:04.800 history. It's not to diminish anything that anybody has experienced, but that's the reality of it.

00:09:11.260 Okay. Now we have this other term over here called social equity. Okay. Equality equal under the law,

00:09:18.200 equal under God, certain unalienable rights. Then we have social equity. Okay. That is the end game,

00:09:29.000 equity. So you have equality. Everybody starts at the same place and has the same opportunities.

00:09:36.560 And then you have social equity, which is that everybody ends at the same place. Well, in order

00:09:45.120 for that to happen, the game has to be rigged. And that's actually systemic, right? If the game,

00:09:52.420 if there's laws and there's rules on the books that rig the game so that the end result is that

00:10:00.120 everybody experiences the same outcome, then that's actually the real systemic problem.

00:10:06.440 Okay. Not everybody's going to end at the same destination because some people are smart. Some

00:10:11.880 people are dumb. Some people have some opportunities. Other people don't. Some people have gifts and 1.00

00:10:17.660 abilities and talents and skillsets that other individuals don't. Some people have different

00:10:21.940 desires, different things they want out of life. There's no way that we could ever end up in the

00:10:28.140 same place. Here's a very micro experiment. If I were to take $20,000 and I could just miraculously give

00:10:35.840 it to every adult in the United States of America, $20,000, it would be my bet that within the next,

00:10:41.660 I would say, three to five years, maybe even shorter, that the bulk of that $20,000 that you received

00:10:49.660 or all of us received individually would be in the hands of the same people it is now.

00:10:55.780 Because they have the skill sets, they know how to build wealth, they have the financial acumen to

00:11:01.660 be able to build and add value and do what it is to create wealth. But in order for that to keep that

00:11:08.920 from happening, there's a system that needs to take from those individuals who are doing better than

00:11:17.200 the ones who are not. That's systemic. So there's social equity and there's social equality. I believe

00:11:25.760 that all men are created equal, should be under the law, and certainly are under God. But I don't buy

00:11:33.320 into this social equity stuff because it means that the system needs to be rigged. And everybody

00:11:42.000 who's complaining about systemic problems now, you think there's systemic problems now, if you want

00:11:47.580 everybody to end up in the exact same place, there's going to be a lot more systemic problems later

00:11:53.860 because the game has to be rigged in order to achieve that outcome. And I'm not interested in the

00:11:59.680 game being rigged. All right. There's my soapbox on social equality versus social equity. All right.

00:12:08.360 Let's see. So this one comes Phoenix of the sunrise. How did you learn how to start a business? If taught,

00:12:15.700 who would you recommend learning from? So once something goes from a hobby to making a living,

00:12:22.480 deciding and contacting wholesalers. Okay. He's just asking about little business stuff. So

00:12:28.280 how did I learn? I followed people who were good in business, primarily in the financial planning

00:12:33.980 world, because in 2000, I want to say 2010, 2011, somewhere in there, I started my own financial

00:12:43.680 planning practice. And I learned from individuals who had their own financial planning practices. I

00:12:49.300 hired coaches. I hired mentors. I even hired a consulting firm to help me start my business and get things in

00:12:55.400 the right order and help me with marketing and doing all that. Now, what have I done since then?

00:13:02.000 I've learned from a lot of different places. I've gone to conferences. I've invested in learning and

00:13:07.700 education. I've also done a lot of trial and error. And I've been in this particular business, Order of

00:13:12.820 Man, for a little over six years now. And so I've learned a lot about how business works and taxes and

00:13:20.420 marketing and the financials of the business. But the biggest thing is to find people who are doing

00:13:25.160 what you want to be doing and hire them. Hire them to consult you, to coach you, to mentor you, to teach,

00:13:31.560 because look, you can do it on your own. You can figure out all of this stuff on your own. I figured

00:13:35.300 a lot of it out on my own, but I'm telling you right now, there's a price to everything.

00:13:40.140 All right. There's a price to doing it on your own. And there's, I should say, there's a cost to

00:13:44.280 everything. There's a cost of doing it on your own, but there's a cost of hiring a mentor as well.

00:13:49.520 You know, if you spend 10 grand to hire somebody to teach you about a particular element of your

00:13:54.300 business, well, it's $10,000. You might say, well, that's a lot of money. Or you might say,

00:13:58.840 it's a little, I don't know your financial situation, but let's say you're on the end

00:14:01.460 where you say, oh, 10,000 is a lot of money. So I'm going to do it on my own. Well, doing it on

00:14:05.580 your own, there's a cost of doing it on your own. Yeah. You don't have to write the $10,000 check,

00:14:09.380 but it's going to take you a lot of time, a lot of money, a lot of hard learned lessons.

00:14:13.860 And it actually might cost you 50 or a hundred or a million or $10 million over the course of

00:14:21.140 your business to actually go out and do it on your own. So if I'm going to look at the cost of

00:14:26.400 things, I'm going to look at what's going to be the least expensive, most effective method

00:14:29.960 for improvement. Whether we're talking about business, physical health, your relationship,

00:14:35.600 whatever it may be, you want to do it in the least cost prohibitive manner possible.

00:14:41.860 The best investment, the best rate of return. And for me, it's proven to be hiring coaches.

00:14:47.920 So do what you can, learn what you can, always be learning, continue to be a student,

00:14:51.360 and then find those individuals who are doing what you want to do in your line of work or have

00:14:56.580 experience coaching others in your line of work and gleaning from them, learning from them,

00:15:04.540 hiring them to share with you the ins and the outs and the goods and the bads and the pitfalls to avoid

00:15:09.620 because it's going to be significantly less expensive when you do it that way.

00:15:14.680 This one is from TKR Novakix or something like that. I don't know. He says, what are your sales

00:15:22.520 number per month for your merch? And what was the biggest thing you did to get there other than

00:15:27.920 hiring Sean as a coach? He's talking about Sean Whalen because Sean Whalen was an early coach and

00:15:32.240 mentor of mine. Him and I still communicate on a regular basis and I still learn a lot from him.

00:15:36.480 I'm inspired by him every day. I'm not going to get into my sales numbers. Let's just say that

00:15:44.000 it's, I would say probably 250 to 300% up over what I did around the same time over the past couple of

00:15:54.380 years. And the reason it is, Frank, here's the bottom line. The reason those numbers are up because

00:15:59.220 I focused on it. That's if you strip everything else away, all the little tactics and the strategies

00:16:05.460 and hiring the designers and getting the right apps and the right programs and investing in the

00:16:09.680 right space and having my son fulfill orders, all of that stuff. Those are all tactics.

00:16:14.740 But if you strip all of that away, the reason that it's up so much over the past year is because I

00:16:20.520 focused on it. And what you focus on is always going to improve. It's going to get better. You're

00:16:25.780 going to get better at it. Whether it's things that you're doing positively focusing on, like building

00:16:30.960 a business, communicating with your wife, dating her, spending quality time with your kids, getting

00:16:36.660 in shape. Those are all, I would say, quality, wholesome things to focus on. But also if you focus

00:16:42.580 on things that you shouldn't be focusing on, drinking, drugs, alcohol, pornography, all of this other

00:16:47.460 stuff, making poor decisions, stepping out on your wife, throwing your life away, you're going to get

00:16:54.780 better at that too. Because you're focused on that. We're hardwired as humans to get better at whatever

00:17:01.160 we focus on. So focus on what's important to you. Now, what is the biggest thing that I did

00:17:07.260 to get to the point where I am right now? I just told you, it's focusing on it. The other gentleman

00:17:14.840 was asking about hiring a coach, hiring a mentor. I haven't hired a coach specifically for growing

00:17:20.220 my merchandise business, but I have been very observant with what other people are doing.

00:17:27.600 We're starting to dabble now with ads and I've seen what other people are doing. I've brought

00:17:31.780 different designers on. We had a fulfillment warehouse that was doing it at one point. And

00:17:37.720 I just, I didn't enjoy that experience. In fact, I would say it was a bad experience. It was expensive.

00:17:42.860 They were making errors and I just hated for it to be outside of my control. And so we brought it in

00:17:47.520 house and my son started fulfilling orders. In fact, him and I fulfilled, I don't know, 30 or 40,

00:17:52.340 even just this morning, which cuts into my day, but I enjoy it. I spend time with him and

00:17:57.300 he's learning and he's growing and we're having conversations and we're growing this thing

00:18:01.060 together. So a lot of little strategies, but ultimately it's the focus. And if you're focused

00:18:05.820 on it, then it's going to, you're going to get better at it. It's going to improve.

00:18:09.480 And then you'll figure out where all the little gaps and whatnot are. Okay.

00:18:12.240 All right. This one comes from Glenn A. Cath, Cath one. I'm these, some of these names are a little

00:18:20.820 hard for me to understand what they are, but he says, are you familiar with the work of Dr. Robert

00:18:25.600 Moore? He's best known for a book titled King warrior, magician lover. It's an examination of

00:18:32.080 the male psyche. Very interesting reading jives well with many of the folks you've interviewed on

00:18:37.900 and your ideals as well. Yeah. I am familiar with that book. I will say the book King warrior,

00:18:43.140 magician lover is one I was introduced to years and years ago. Uh, and it's been years. In fact,

00:18:47.880 it's up there somewhere. It looks like some of my stuff is falling down. Uh, but it is up there.

00:18:53.820 It's been a while since I've read it, but you know, the cool thing that I, that I remember one

00:18:58.600 thing in particular is that they have the King, the warrior, the magician lover. And then in addition to

00:19:04.240 that, Robert Moore also talks about the counter to those. So I think the King is, is, is the Prince

00:19:11.100 and the magician is maybe the, the jester or the Joker. I don't particularly remember. Um, but he

00:19:17.480 talks about the immature version and the mature version of each male persona, I think was, is the

00:19:25.600 best word that I would use. And we all have the ability to be a King warrior, magician lover to varying

00:19:30.500 degrees, but some of us are going to be more on the King side. Some of us are going to be more

00:19:33.700 on the magician side and all have their value. But I really enjoyed the book where it talked

00:19:38.000 about learning what your persona is, what you naturally gravitate towards so that you can

00:19:44.200 learn how to use it effectively and not slip into the immature, uh, version of each of the

00:19:49.620 personas. So, uh, again, very quick synopsis. It's been years since I read it, but I remember

00:19:54.700 it being a very great book and very insightful. Uh, this one's from SOMD Kilgore. He says,

00:20:01.340 when do you believe men and society began our steady decline towards the current state?

00:20:06.140 What do you believe was the pivotal catalyst that paved the path? You know, I don't know

00:20:10.140 if it was like at this date, at this time, and this year, this is the moment it all started

00:20:16.360 to go downhill. Um, it's happened gradually. It's happened over time. It's that old adage

00:20:22.460 of boiling a frog. If you throw them in a bucket of hot water, he's going to jump right

00:20:26.060 out. But if you throw them in a bucket of lukewarm water and gradually warm up the

00:20:29.920 temperature, he'll stay in there and cook himself to death. I think that's what's happening

00:20:33.860 now. And, you know, I, I make comments on Instagram and Facebook and Twitter and all

00:20:38.320 the places. And occasionally people reach out and say, you know, Ryan, that's, that's

00:20:42.100 not important. We don't need to be talking about that. We should be talking about

00:20:44.480 something else. Well, it's not, it may not be important to you now because the, the

00:20:49.940 temperature is not high enough, right? But if we ignore it and we overlook it and we

00:20:55.140 say that isn't important, or we shouldn't be discussing that because we should be

00:20:58.260 more concerned with other things. Well, okay. That's gradually letting the

00:21:01.640 temperature turn up and up and up and up and up. If the powers that be came out

00:21:06.660 directly and said, here's what we're going to do. So, uh, let's talk about gun, gun

00:21:10.940 register, uh, legislation, for example, if the powers that be came out and said, we're

00:21:14.980 going to pass a bill that says that, uh, Americans can no longer own firearms. Well, how

00:21:20.340 do you think that would pan out? Obviously that's not going to work because you have

00:21:24.420 millions and millions of gun owners and you have hundreds of millions of firearms

00:21:30.100 circulating at with, within the United States there that's, that's not going to

00:21:35.140 happen. Okay. But if you gradually start introducing gun legislation, like, uh,

00:21:41.260 capacity on, on magazines and certain types of modifications to firearms and nobody

00:21:47.820 can build firearms anymore. And okay, now you can't own this. You can own all these, but

00:21:52.420 you can't own this one and you have to register up. Now, these are little things

00:21:57.560 that get passed and I'm not asking you to chime in on the gun debate right now.

00:22:02.080 I'm using this as an example. Okay. These little things over the past 100 plus

00:22:06.680 years have been instituted and implemented and legislation has been passed. And so

00:22:11.880 many of us are like, Oh, you know, what's the big deal? What's, you know, like

00:22:14.920 that's not a big deal. We'll let that slide. We'll let that slide. We'll let that

00:22:18.140 slide. And then Holy shit down the road, you realize you actually aren't as free 0.99

00:22:23.060 as you think you are. It's the same thing with the mass mandates with COVID. You 0.98

00:22:27.160 know, how many of us have said, well, you know, like, it's just a mask. It's just,

00:22:30.820 what's the big deal. That's not limiting your freedom. No, it's, it's, it's not

00:22:34.340 really limiting our freedom in the grand scheme of things. Can you wear a mask?

00:22:39.780 Sure you can, but what does that lead to? Okay. It leads to more legislation,

00:22:45.640 more restriction. Now we're talking about the vaccination cards and there's going

00:22:50.840 to be a bunch of people say, well, you know, what's the big deal? It's just a

00:22:53.380 car. Like you should have it. Okay. Well, what does that lead to? So I'm not sure

00:22:58.580 it was just one pivotal moment. There is one moment I want to talk about, but more

00:23:02.660 than that, it's just been a steady, slow decline and assault on our way of life

00:23:10.440 and our freedoms. And we need to be vigilant and we need to be aware and we

00:23:16.600 need to realize that everything matters. Even the little things that are seemingly

00:23:20.640 insignificant, it matters because it's what it leads to next. It's moving that

00:23:25.800 Overton window to a place that we really, most of us, I believe don't want to go.

00:23:32.120 There is one moment and it wasn't a specific moment, but an era in the

00:23:36.620 industrial revolution, what ended up happening is that the fathers left the

00:23:40.340 farms. They left the houses, they went into the cities and they started working

00:23:43.980 in the factories. And because they weren't at home to teach little Timmy, Tommy

00:23:47.380 and Julia, you know, our young men and our young women lost their father. They saw

00:23:55.080 maybe in the morning, maybe at night, and that's it. I just did an interview with a

00:24:00.740 gentleman who is one of the foremost authorities on homeschooling. And he talked

00:24:05.500 about that when we started shipping our kids off to these government institutions

00:24:09.500 to have them indoctrinated into something that we may not totally agree with. And

00:24:14.980 then mom and dad left the home, went into the workforce, little Susie and Tommy and

00:24:19.220 Timmy are in these indoctrination, government indoctrination schools or camps. And

00:24:25.400 what ended up happening is we separated the children from their fathers and their

00:24:29.340 mothers. And that's a problem, both literally and figuratively. The more that the 0.95

00:24:35.220 government can separate kids from their parents, the better equipped they'll be

00:24:40.220 to indoctrinate these little impressionable minds into something that they would like 0.94

00:24:49.220 to do rather than the parents teaching them the values. And here's one thing people

00:24:55.220 say, well, you know, Ryan, you're sending your kids off to school and you're saying

00:24:58.420 they're being indoctrinated. Aren't you indoctrinating your kids by not sending

00:25:01.500 them? Yes. A hundred percent. That's exactly right. I'm teaching them a doctrine and a set

00:25:08.920 of principles and systems and values and ideas and concepts and beliefs that I think

00:25:13.500 will serve them. That's indoctrination. Indoctrination is not inherently bad. It's

00:25:18.520 not inherently wrong. In fact, that's your job as a parent to teach your children a

00:25:22.960 doctrine, concept, principles, values that will serve them on later in life. So then

00:25:29.560 people say, well, what's the difference between that and public school? The

00:25:31.960 difference is it's my responsibility as a father. That's the difference. It's not

00:25:37.200 your responsibility to indoctrinate my children. It's not the government's job to

00:25:41.560 indoctrinate my children. It's my job. That's my authority. That's my

00:25:47.140 responsibility. So I think we answered your question and maybe created a bunch

00:25:54.220 more. All right. Uh, let's go to double hall Paul. Hey fellas, Ryan and skip. I like

00:26:01.140 that. He called him skip instead of kip. I'm not sure if that was a joke or just a

00:26:04.340 slip, but skip has a nice ring to it. Uh, he says he's on day 43 of 75 hard diet is the

00:26:11.060 hardest part for me. Uh, water was one of the hardest parts for me. Just, uh, just throw

00:26:16.740 that little disclaimer in there. He says, what is your favorite clean eating snack and

00:26:20.620 meal? I'm looking to expand my options. I, you know, look, I'm a pretty, I'm a

00:26:23.960 pretty, I don't want to see now. I'm pretty boring. Like I'm a pretty boring guy. Uh,

00:26:29.300 I like meat and vegetables. Yeah. You can't go wrong. Right. With a steak or

00:26:33.020 venison or elk or moose bear. We've tried it all. We have everything ham, you know, pork

00:26:39.020 chicken, all of it. Uh, and then vegetables, uh, whether it's asparagus, green beans, my

00:26:44.380 wife loves to can and preserve. So we all have green beans and zucchini and squash and

00:26:50.380 especially where it's becoming spring and summer right now, we always have fresh vegetables.

00:26:53.660 We just tried fiddle heads for the first time last night. If you haven't tried fiddle

00:26:56.940 heads, they're like, uh, well, my son, my youngest son, he's five. He calls them, uh, curly green

00:27:03.520 beans. Cause that's what they look like. And that's actually what they tasted like, but

00:27:06.400 fiddle heads are delicious. So, uh, I vary the protein, whether it's again, chicken, beef,

00:27:11.480 uh, turkey, uh, venison, elk, moose bear, like whatever you can get your hands on. I like the

00:27:19.360 wild game if I can, if not, you know, I'm going to be for chicken. And then, uh, we vary our

00:27:24.460 vegetables, squash, zucchini, tomatoes, uh, green beans, lots of peas, carrots. And then of course,

00:27:32.280 curly green beans, also known as fiddle heads. All right. Let's find a couple more here. How are we

00:27:38.900 doing on time? About halfway through. Okay. I'm going to try to find some, some bet, some good

00:27:44.600 ones here. Okay. So this is from Gabriel Pazo Lopez. He says, what are some hints on cultivating

00:27:50.020 patience? I'm 28 and until 25, I didn't realize how I was wasting my youth. I'm now on the path

00:27:56.860 of becoming a real man soon to join professional diving school. So I can come, uh, become a scuba

00:28:02.800 welder. Very cool. Uh, but said school is months away and years until I finish it as someone who can

00:28:08.440 only see the past as a pile of wasted time. The weight is sometimes unbearable. So, you know, I like,

00:28:14.220 um, this is Andy for Silla's concept, uh, with, uh, uh, real AF podcast, Andy for Silla in first

00:28:20.980 form. Of course, he's become a friend over the, over the years. And one thing that he,

00:28:25.380 the term that he uses that I actually really like is aggressive patience, aggressive patience. I

00:28:30.540 believe that's what it is. If not, it's something along those lines, but aggressive patience. What

00:28:34.160 does that mean? Well, it means that you're going to be patient in the results that you're going to

00:28:37.880 experience, but you're going to be aggressive in the pursuit of those results. So if you're going to

00:28:43.000 diving school, you say it's, you know, it's months away and it's years till I finish it. Well,

00:28:47.940 yeah, it might be months away before you go to diving school. Okay. You got to be patient for

00:28:52.140 the months that you have to wait. But in the meantime, you can be very aggressive on the

00:28:56.180 tactics and strategies and tools and things that you're implementing in order to be prepared when

00:29:01.860 that, that diving school comes up. I remember when I went to basic training, so that would have been

00:29:06.720 the summer of 1999. Uh, it was very similar. I had graduated high school. Uh, I moved to a

00:29:14.120 neighboring town and I went to a semester of college and essentially I was just waiting for

00:29:19.300 basic training to happen. Okay. What I wasn't just sitting around because if you're sitting around,

00:29:24.820 yeah, that's, I mean, maybe you're being patient, but that, that is a waste of time.

00:29:29.000 I was being aggressive in that moment because I remember running. I remember doing a lot of

00:29:34.880 physical training. Uh, I was, I was going to drill cause I was in the national guard. So I was

00:29:39.460 learning from other soldiers who had gone through basic training. So I was doing everything that I

00:29:43.360 possibly could to keep myself active and mentally and physically engaged so that when I went to basic

00:29:51.060 training, I was completely ready for it. And I was ready for it. Me and two other guys, uh, Jed and

00:29:56.980 Tony that I went to high school with, we went to basic training and it was a very good experience for us.

00:30:03.040 You know, I saw a lot of guys who broke down and really struggled and had a hard time because they

00:30:07.420 were sitting around doing, I don't know what they were doing when they should have been training and

00:30:10.720 preparing for it. We weren't like that. We were ready to go because we are aggressive in our

00:30:15.740 tactics and strategies. It's the very same thing with this podcast. I've been patient and I will

00:30:21.200 continue to be patient with the results that we experienced here with order of man. You know,

00:30:26.540 we've had a breakout, I would say year so far, six months almost. Oh, it is because we're in June now.

00:30:31.300 Uh, so we've had a breakout year with our level of guests. Well, I'm six years into this,

00:30:36.980 you know, this stuff didn't happen overnight. And so I realized that it's going to take time.

00:30:41.620 It's going to take years and years and years and years of the grind and the hustle and the

00:30:45.940 aggressiveness on the tactics and strategies. Eventually it'll happen. But in the meantime,

00:30:50.460 I'm going to be very active towards, uh, running a good podcast towards making sure I handle my finances

00:30:57.480 correctly to learning how to market more effectively to learn from other individuals who are gone,

00:31:03.160 who have gone before me so that when the opportunities present themselves, I will a recognize

00:31:09.360 them and be, be ready to capitalize on those opportunities. So patient and aggressive in the

00:31:17.140 tactics until you get to the results. So yeah, if you're sitting around doing nothing, just like,

00:31:22.820 oh, I guess I'm just going to wait, you know, two months till I go to diving school. Yeah, that's,

00:31:26.940 that's a waste. And it would be easy to see why, uh, you're, you're going to be so frustrated

00:31:33.860 instead say, okay, here it is two months away, put it on the calendar. And in the meantime,

00:31:39.280 what are the 10 tactics and strategies that you can be doing employing on a daily basis

00:31:43.960 in order for you to be fully prepared when diving school presents itself? I hope that helps.

00:31:52.820 Trying to find another good comment here. Here's one. This is from John. Uh, I'm going to butcher

00:31:58.260 this name. Gal Galco bear. I would say John Galco bear. Oh, God. Oh, Galco bear. I think, sorry, 0.97

00:32:04.280 John, correct me if I'm wrong. And I know I'm wrong. Uh, he says, if you're being disrespected

00:32:10.800 or undermined in a sporting context by a coach, how would you deal with it? He says, I went back to play

00:32:16.940 football this year, Gaelic football in Ireland. And despite enjoying it, I found the new coach finds the

00:32:22.540 need to undermine me at every turn. So here's what I would say. Let's give you a little healthy

00:32:28.300 dose of reality. It might be that you're not as good as you think you are. Now I'm not saying that's

00:32:32.680 the case, but I'm certainly saying that is worthy of consideration. Maybe he's actually not attempting

00:32:39.140 to undermine you. Maybe he's actually attempting to coach you. And this is your ego getting in the

00:32:44.620 way saying, no, no, no. He's trying to undermine me. He doesn't know as much as me. And I've been

00:32:48.740 doing this for a long time. And who is this new guy coming in? I'm not saying that's the case.

00:32:53.800 I'm just saying you probably ought to examine whether or not that's what's actually happening

00:32:58.040 because it very well could be that it's your own ego getting in the way. And you're assuming

00:33:03.080 that it's him trying to undermine you when in all reality, it might just be him trying to coach you.

00:33:09.400 Now it's been my experience that most people, not everybody, that most people mean,

00:33:14.740 well, most people mean good. They want to do right. They want to serve, especially if they're

00:33:19.980 coaching, they want to win, right? What do coaches want to do? They want to win. So they're going to

00:33:24.240 do what they think is best to help the team win. That's the whole point of competitive sports,

00:33:29.380 right? To improve and then to test yourself and beat the other team and get the feedback you need

00:33:35.020 and get better. Okay. So I believe that most people want to do well and good, but I also believe

00:33:42.980 that most people struggle with communication. So the desire they have to do right and well

00:33:53.060 doesn't exactly align with their ability to communicate effectively. And I've personally

00:34:00.040 found that if I can afford people some grace that maybe, for example, my wife says something to me that

00:34:05.980 although true was communicated poorly and puts me on the defensive. Now I have responsibility as the

00:34:11.700 receiver of that message, not to get defensive. And I'm just looking at her for a second, or you want

00:34:16.700 to switch the roles, right? Like I may mean well in the marriage and our relationship and how much I

00:34:22.880 care about her and want her to thrive, but the way that I deliver it doesn't quite land or I'm a

00:34:29.580 little too harsh or a little too abrasive and it doesn't help anybody. So the desire and the ability

00:34:35.560 don't quite match up, maybe that's happening, but let's just say hypothetically for a minute that

00:34:42.420 that your coach is trying to undermine you. Well, you have a couple of options here.

00:34:47.660 You know, you can be, you can attempt to be the best football player that you possibly can

00:34:51.520 and get better and improve and listen, even though he's, he's trying to undermine you,

00:34:56.780 uh, help the team win, be a good teammate, try to improve your abilities, try to listen and try to

00:35:02.120 do what you can do. That's one option. Or if, if you can't, and he's undermining you and you guys

00:35:09.360 don't get along, the other option is you could quit. And I don't think that's a great option.

00:35:12.860 I've known people that have done that. Some think it's a good decision. Others have regretted those

00:35:17.020 decisions. Um, you know, only you can make that decision. I, I have personal friends, people that I

00:35:22.880 know in high school, cause I hadn't played competitive sports outside of high school, but people that I know 0.73

00:35:27.380 in high school who quit because they said the coach was, you know, a dick, same coach I had. I didn't feel

00:35:33.920 that way, you know, so personalities clash and they, and they collide and it's challenging and everything

00:35:40.400 else. And you can use this as a learning opportunity because you're going to have to deal with difficult

00:35:44.380 people in life. Forget about just football, like life, the rest of your life, you're going to have to deal

00:35:48.860 with difficult people. Um, maybe use this opportunity to learn how to deal with somebody you don't like

00:35:54.500 or get along with, or maybe you say, you know, it's not worth it. And you can make that decision

00:35:58.380 yourself. Uh, there was another question on here along the same lines and I don't know where it is

00:36:06.300 right now, but I'll just, I'll paraphrase it because this is one question I get a lot. And it was

00:36:11.120 something like, uh, along the lines of, you know, how do you deal with people who don't agree with you

00:36:17.360 with regards to your views on masculinity? And I think I touched on this last week, guys, there's always

00:36:23.060 going to be people that disagree with me and I've never considered it my obligation, my responsibility

00:36:28.100 to convince, to convert these, these people who don't see it the same way we do. Now, if somebody

00:36:33.740 wants to have a real discussion with me, maybe we disagree on a, on a, on a certain point with

00:36:39.500 regards to masculinity or the things I talk about here and, and they don't agree, but they want to

00:36:44.900 talk about it and they want to hash it out. I'm, I'm good with that. I actually like that because

00:36:48.800 I'm going to see things in a new light and either I'm going to have a greater perspective. I didn't

00:36:53.420 have before, or I'm just going to strengthen my own position and both are wins to me, but I've never

00:36:58.900 felt the need to like, get into it and debate and argue and bicker and bitch and moan back and forth 0.97

00:37:04.720 at each other with people who just don't want to see it the same way. I'm completely okay with that.

00:37:09.840 And I think a lot of you need to get to that same point. Like, don't get so riled up and pissed off

00:37:14.960 that other people don't see it your way, or they don't agree with you or like, who cares?

00:37:19.860 You know, there's almost 8 billion people on the planet. And okay. So you have five people who don't

00:37:24.360 like you, who hate you. I have more than that, but I have infinitely more people who do agree with me

00:37:29.940 and do, who do like what I have to say and appreciate the fact that I'm willing to say it.

00:37:33.920 And guess where I'm going to place my emphasis on the people who feel inspired and motivated and

00:37:39.120 compelled by what we're doing here. Excuse me. I'm not going to take a bunch of time

00:37:44.380 to, to get a knockdown, you know, drag out fight with, uh, uh, somebody who doesn't see it my way.

00:37:51.360 It's just, it's just a waste to go back to the Pareto principle we were talking about earlier.

00:37:56.260 You know, that's, that's what 80% of us focus on. I'm going to try to convert this guy.

00:38:00.400 It's 80% of what we focus on, on 20% of the effort. Well, why not focus 20% or excuse me,

00:38:07.000 80% of your time on the, the things that actually produce the biggest results,

00:38:11.240 which is talking to the people who are inspired by you. That's not to say we need to create echo

00:38:16.820 chambers because I agree. We should be talking with people who disagree, but if they just want

00:38:21.660 to fight, no, I'm not, I'm not interested in that. I don't, I don't care about that. And I don't,

00:38:25.360 I don't see it as my job to do. So I do get a lot of questions like, well, how do you deal with

00:38:29.640 usually when it's like, how do you deal with question? The answer is you don't,

00:38:34.760 even if it's a family member, how do I deal with a family member? Who's, you know,

00:38:37.560 toxic. You don't deal with them. How do I deal with a family member who, you know,

00:38:42.840 refuses to, to be a good family member. You don't deal with that person. Like, what are you going to,

00:38:47.840 what are you going to say? What are you going to do? That's possibly going to change their mind.

00:38:52.020 If you feel like you're having to deal with it, it's long past just like civil discourse. I think

00:38:57.580 this is from welcome home farm town or TN. I don't know if that's town or Tennessee or something,

00:39:05.380 but welcome home farm TN. How do you inspire the younger generation to quote, don't dream it,

00:39:12.440 be it to believe and become the person they want to be despite the naysayers and critics. See,

00:39:18.560 we continue to bring the naysayers and critics up. And I think what we're doing is we're giving

00:39:22.720 them too much weight. Acknowledge that there's going to be naysayers and there's going to be

00:39:27.680 critics, but we don't need to place a bunch of emphasis on that. Like you're going to find that

00:39:32.320 whether you're looking for it or not, it's going to be there. So let's just not worry about the

00:39:37.420 naysayers and critics because really they don't have any relevancy. You know, like this question

00:39:42.060 here says, how do you, how do you inspire them to want to be the person they desire to be despite

00:39:47.480 the naysayers? What are the naysayers have to do with anything? Like, are the naysayers going to pay

00:39:53.260 my bills? Are the naysayers going to put the roof over me and my family's head? Are the critics going

00:40:00.420 to be the one who are sharing this podcast and movement? So it thrives and flourishes and we

00:40:04.820 create good opportunities here. Like they don't have any relevancy at all. Zero relevancy. They're

00:40:12.460 not paying your bills. They're not supporting your mission. They don't believe in you. They don't like

00:40:15.560 you. In fact, if anything, what they're doing is they're actually not neutral. They're taking away,

00:40:19.420 they're detracting. So no factor here, guys. Now to answer the bulk of that question is how do you

00:40:29.180 inspire younger generations to believe and become the person they want to be is you show them by

00:40:35.040 example, but then you also connect the dots. We need to do a better job. Okay. Here's another

00:40:40.400 question people say all the time. Will you bring a quote unquote regular Joe on the podcast, right?

00:40:48.280 People say the numbers don't support it. The download numbers don't support it, but people say

00:40:53.500 they want to hear from a regular guy they can relate with. Well, guys, everybody we've had on

00:41:00.200 the podcast is a regular guy. Everybody on the podcast that we've had is a regular guy. They've just

00:41:07.920 done things differently for longer sustained periods of time and they've become not regular, but

00:41:14.180 extraordinary. Okay. But they were regular at some point and people say, well, I don't resonate with

00:41:18.940 that. Right. And that's the point that I want to make is that we need to do a better job connecting

00:41:24.800 the dots between where we are now and where we were. And I think one of the reasons that this

00:41:31.460 particular podcast does so well, and a lot of the reason that you guys like what I have to share and

00:41:37.320 you resonate with what we're doing here is because you actually see me as a regular guy,

00:41:41.660 which is accurate. I'm not extraordinary. I'm not any gifted with any talents or skill sets or

00:41:49.560 wealth or connections or anything else that you don't have. Okay. I'm a pretty ordinary guy. I grew

00:41:54.340 up. My mother raised me primarily with my sister on her own. Never really had to worry about food on

00:42:00.940 the table or roof over her head. Although looking back now is probably closer than I had realized,

00:42:06.400 but she always did a wonderful job making sure that wasn't a concern of ours.

00:42:09.700 Uh, we grew up in a middle-class family, uh, very, very small rural town in Southern Utah.

00:42:16.600 Um, you know, joined the military, had a little bit of success in the military, uh, had a little

00:42:21.340 success when, um, I left the military, but I bounced around from landscaping to pizza delivery,

00:42:27.840 to plumbing, to electrical. I mean, I did it all until I finally started growing my financial planning

00:42:34.180 practice. And, and now the podcast and you guys see here, you come, you know, six years into this

00:42:39.840 thing. And you're like, Whoa, look at everything that Ryan's created. Like he's doing amazing.

00:42:42.680 He must be this amazing individual. I'm not. Okay. But one thing I feel like I do a pretty good job

00:42:48.200 of is explaining to you that I'm not all that exceptional. And I don't do that as some sort of,

00:42:52.760 uh, so, you know, deprecating like, uh, humor or tactic. No, that's actually what I believe.

00:43:00.840 And if I can do this, then you surely can. And I try to do a good job of explaining

00:43:07.120 where I came from. So to go back to the question here, how do we inspire younger generations to be

00:43:13.340 it? Not just dream it, be an example, and then connect the dots. Let these kids know, Hey,

00:43:19.380 you know what? Yeah. Your dad's not around. Guess what? My dad wasn't around, man. A kid hears that

00:43:24.620 and looks at you and thinks, man, this guy's ultra successful. And you just related it back

00:43:30.220 to him or her and how they're living their life and how you lived your life. Like if a kid come came 0.82

00:43:35.420 to you, let's, let's say, uh, uh, one of your, your kids, you're coaching in a sports team and,

00:43:39.620 and you know, he doesn't have a dad around, man, that's a great example to say, Hey, you know what?

00:43:44.620 I really appreciate how hard you work and how, how you, you step up to the plate and how you come

00:43:49.800 ready to practice every day. That must be hard. I know your father's not around. You do this when

00:43:53.520 appropriate, of course. Um, and I just want you to know, like my, my dad wasn't around

00:43:58.160 or I'm dealing with the same thing. I dealt with the same thing you are. And I overcame it by doing

00:44:03.060 X, Y, and Z. That's why you guys want to hear from regular Joes is because you can't form the 1.00

00:44:08.840 connection between these ultra guys like Goggins and Tim Kennedy and Jocko. Like you don't see

00:44:14.720 yourself being one of those people. I do. Cause I, I've, I've been fortunate enough to talk with them.

00:44:20.320 Those are regular guys, right? Jocko is not a superhuman. He's incredible. He's very disciplined,

00:44:26.580 period. And, and all of us can do that. You can do that. I can do that. Everybody can do that.

00:44:35.200 Andy Fusilla has built this incredible company first form, and he's got other businesses as well.

00:44:40.040 And he's been ultra, ultra successful. He's not exceptional inherently. He's learned it,

00:44:46.960 right? Like he talks about a story of, uh, for the first 10 years, you know, making, you know,

00:44:52.620 $10,000 or whatever it is and sleeping on Pistain mattresses in the back of his store that he could

00:44:56.920 barely afford. That's you. That's me. Like he's, he's not exceptional. He's, he's trained himself to

00:45:04.140 be that way. He's put himself around good people. He's been in the game long enough. Uh, he he's

00:45:08.320 learned a lot of valuable lessons. And because of that, now we look at him and think, oh, this guy

00:45:11.840 must have it all figured out. He doesn't. And he never has. He's figuring it out. And he does a good

00:45:17.040 job at it. Cause he's earned it and you need to earn it. And then we need to teach our kids.

00:45:23.040 And when I say our kids biological, but also kids in our community, how to earn it and how you overcame

00:45:29.200 the same things that maybe they're dealing with. Let's find some more questions here. Uh, this comes

00:45:35.200 from fire and iron podcast. Uh, what are three non-negotiable rules? I think I talked about this

00:45:41.040 one maybe last week. I don't know. I hope I'm not hitting on the same question. Maybe I'm answering

00:45:47.840 the same questions I did last week, but non-negotiables, uh, take a stand for what you

00:45:54.400 believe in be unique, say it in a unique way and be hyper-consistent. That's what I would say.

00:46:00.200 Uh, okay. Here's a, here's a good one right here. This one's important because a lot of you guys have

00:46:04.660 this question. So this one comes from dad to vid. He says how to win back an X after she claims to have

00:46:09.640 moved on. Well, okay. So we need to, we need to frame this question in the right way. Cause it's,

00:46:15.560 it's not framed the way it should be how to win back an X. Well, first that language is not the

00:46:21.740 right mindset to come from. Okay. Because what you're going to end up doing, if you want to win

00:46:26.560 back your X, okay, what you're going to do is you're going to put on a little circus performance.

00:46:32.540 That's what you're going to do. If I want to win somebody over, win somebody back, I'm going to put

00:46:37.040 on this little circus performance. I'm going to, I'm going to be like that bear on the unicycle

00:46:41.120 with a little dress on, and I'm going to do go, go around or like the little seal barking for snacks

00:46:45.780 occasionally here and there. And that's what you're going to do in order to quote, win her back

00:46:50.320 or win her over. And then what you're actually going to do in the meantime is you're going to

00:46:55.100 undermine what you're trying to accomplish, which is to gain trust, credibility, and authority with her.

00:47:01.820 Okay. That's the problem. That's what so many of you guys do. Let me just do the little monkey

00:47:06.120 dance and entertain her and bark when she tells me to. And then you're like, well, why doesn't she

00:47:11.520 love me? Why is she out with this other dude or whatever? Yeah. Because you're entertaining,

00:47:15.780 but there's no value. There's no real tangible benefit and value that you add. So let's stop

00:47:22.360 trying to win her back. First things first, let's reframe the entire question. Now here's a better way

00:47:29.800 to say that. How do I earn her trust? How do I earn credibility? How do I earn authority? How do I earn

00:47:36.900 influence in her eyes? That's better. Because again, if you're just doing a little circus monkey

00:47:41.640 dance, like that's not going to do any of that. And that's what you need in order to reconcile

00:47:47.140 the relationship you have with your wife. Now she claims she's moved on. Maybe she has, we don't know.

00:47:53.600 Now she says she's moved on or has communicated that to you. This is hard, but I think you got

00:48:00.340 to take that for what it is. And now what you need to do is you need to focus on improving

00:48:05.920 yourself. I've done multiple podcasts, go back in and type order of man, fix how to fix your marriage

00:48:11.480 and fix yourself first. Those are two podcasts I did years ago. And I get into the very detailed

00:48:16.620 analysis of what you can do if you find yourself in the situation and lots and thousands and thousands

00:48:22.180 of you do. I get your messages, but let's, let's stop trying to win her back or not winter back,

00:48:27.820 like winter over, right? Just the term win is not appropriate here. Earn, earn trust, authority,

00:48:34.360 influence, credibility. And by the way, if she, here's the beauty of this. Again, this is dad too

00:48:38.800 vid. Here's the beauty of this. If she truly has moved on and all the while you've been focusing

00:48:46.560 on improving yourself and getting friends and developing skills and finding new hobbies and interests

00:48:51.540 and activities and getting in shape, and you've done all of this and she's truly moved on, you're

00:48:56.660 actually going to be in a better spot. This is a very sound strategy because regardless of the outcome,

00:49:02.380 you're going to be better off. If you gain respect and admiration back from her, congratulations.

00:49:10.460 That's amazing. If you don't, and she truly has moved on, you're going to be the great catch for the

00:49:15.960 next woman to come into your life. So this is a foolproof plan. Focus on yourself, improve your

00:49:22.800 abilities, develop new skills, get new hobbies, build new friendships. You're going to win regardless

00:49:29.800 of what happens. And if she truly has moved on and you do all that, that will even be less relevant.

00:49:34.340 Not relevant, not relevant, but less relevant. Okay. Do that. Go back and check those couple of

00:49:42.000 podcasts, how to fix your marriage and fix yourself first. Let's see what else we got here.

00:49:51.860 This one is from Yudi Masaki to anyone who can help. Look, this is probably not like a great podcast

00:49:58.120 question, but this is important. There's a lesson here outside of just the question. How can a foreigner 1.00

00:50:04.180 join the U S army? It's my dream, but I'm from Brazil. I still live here. Okay.

00:50:10.420 The answer is go talk with a recruiter. That's the answer. Okay. There are people who do this

00:50:18.360 for a living. They will give you the answers that you're looking for. And all you have to do is

00:50:24.800 call and ask that question. Okay. Now, so there's the answer. I want to answer the question.

00:50:30.700 I don't know. Talk to a recruiter. That's, this is exactly what they do. Okay. But here's the

00:50:36.960 greater lesson guys. Ask the right people, the right questions. Okay. You don't need to ask somebody

00:50:44.960 on social media, how you can join the army when there's a recruiter that literally it's their job

00:50:52.440 to answer that exact question. I wanted to share this question with you because it's broader than just

00:50:58.720 joining the military. And by the way, I commend you. If you want to do that and you want to become

00:51:01.520 a citizen, I don't know if you do or how that works. Again, go talk to a recruiter. I commend you,

00:51:06.560 but let's make sure that we're using our minds as well. Like, okay, what's the path of least

00:51:13.000 resistance? What's the path to get us to, to our answer. And it's to go to somebody who has the answer.

00:51:19.860 And if there's somebody who has a job that's, this comes to coaching too. How do I, how do,

00:51:23.720 how do I find a coach? Find the person who's doing what you want to do and then reach out to them and

00:51:30.760 say, you're doing what I want to do. Will you coach me? I will pay you. I speak from experience,

00:51:37.140 by the way, when I owned my financial planning practice, I was following a couple of guys.

00:51:41.820 And one of the men I was following, his name is Jeff Rose, good financial sense. Very,

00:51:45.560 very good person. And so he was doing, I think he was doing maybe a podcast at the time. I think

00:51:55.560 he was doing a lot on YouTube, but the way that he was marketing his financial planning practice was

00:51:59.560 very interesting to me. And so I reached out to him and I said, Hey Jeff, I sent an email and guess

00:52:04.760 where his email was right on his website. Okay. Don't make this harder than it needs to be.

00:52:09.340 So I reached out to Jeff and I'm like, Hey Jeff, you know, I'm a follower of yours. I admire what

00:52:13.380 you're doing. You're doing some cool stuff. I've really wanted to do something similar in my

00:52:17.020 financial planning practice. Do you offer any coaching services? I'd be willing to pay and

00:52:20.780 invest in you training me on some of this stuff. He messages me back very quickly and he says,

00:52:27.840 actually I do offer coaching and here's what it would be. And I, and it was a couple hundred bucks

00:52:31.480 or something like that to get on the phone with him. And I said, great, I'll do it. Okay. This is

00:52:35.640 like one of my early experiences with coaching. I said, great, I'll do it. Get on the phone with him.

00:52:41.400 He shares some, some very valuable insight that helps me get the podcast for my financial planning

00:52:47.920 practice launched and how he does what he does and why he does it this way and why he didn't do it the

00:52:53.140 other way. And some of the lessons he learned, and he was very valuable in my, in, in coaching me early

00:52:58.840 on, which then ended up morphing into order of man. And the benefits from that single conversation

00:53:04.240 for a couple of hundred bucks are invaluable, incalculable. I can't even calculate the value that

00:53:09.760 came from spending a couple hundred dollars. Okay. Later on, I, I come to realize, and he shared

00:53:15.800 this with me. He's like, you know, Ryan, when you reached out to me, uh, I actually, I hadn't done

00:53:20.940 any one-to-one coaching on that particular subject. You were my very first client

00:53:25.180 and still it was extremely valuable. I was his first, I was kind of the Guinea pig with what he

00:53:33.300 wanted to do. I think he does more of that now, but there's some valuable lessons. First, I reached out

00:53:37.660 to the right person. I asked the right question and then I paid for it. I invested in it. And two,

00:53:44.320 he says, yeah, I do offer coaching service. He didn't tell me that I was the first one initially,

00:53:48.240 but yes, I do offer coaching services and it was invaluable and he did a great job.

00:53:52.520 So guys, look, the greater question here, the greater underlying conversation we need to have

00:53:57.720 is like ask the right people, the right questions. Okay. So occasionally somebody will say, Hey Ryan,

00:54:06.980 you know, how do I, how do I get ahold of you or how do I email you, bro? If you can't even go to

00:54:10.780 the website and just figure that out, what are we going to talk about? It gets right there. There's a

00:54:19.560 frequently asked questions or I had another gentleman say, Hey, do you have a podcast on this

00:54:23.140 particular subject? And I said, yeah, you know, I did a podcast on that subject a year ago. You can

00:54:27.800 check it out. He says, which episode is it? I don't know what episode it is. Exert yourself a

00:54:33.940 little bit guys. Okay. I understand that sometimes it's easier just to ask that person, but just exert

00:54:39.380 yourself. I remember when I was growing up, I would, this was before the age of the internet.

00:54:43.980 I would be working on a book report and, uh, and I would ask my mom, you know, mom, how do you spell,

00:54:50.660 uh, how do you spell, uh, encyclopedia? And she said, go look in the dictionary.

00:54:57.420 I'm like, mom, what you don't know. And I taunt her like, you don't know how to spell it. Seeing

00:55:01.000 maybe if that's a tactic where she's like, well, yeah, I'd be able to trick her. Of course it never

00:55:04.320 worked. Right. And she said, go look in the dictionary, go look in the dictionary, go look

00:55:08.580 in. And we have this nice set of dictionaries. And so I'd go over there and I begrudgingly like look

00:55:13.780 and find and figure out how to spell it. I'm like, okay, you know, I got it. Cool. Spell it right. Good.

00:55:17.660 Put it in my book report, but she was teaching me a valuable lesson. The valuable lesson is like,

00:55:22.500 figure it out, figure it out. I think we've become so accustomed to getting everything we want with

00:55:31.120 the push of a button on these little devices that we've lost a lot of our, our initiative,

00:55:37.340 our creativity, our resourcefulness. Oh, well, the answer is just right there. You know, I can just

00:55:42.940 text this person or say this thing. I get it. You know, you want to look for the path of these

00:55:47.880 resistance. I'm not saying make it harder, but like exert yourself to the nth degree.

00:55:54.780 If you do that, even when you're reaching out for coat, when I reached out to Jeff Rose,

00:55:58.840 you know, I, I went to his website and I found his email. In fact, maybe his email wasn't even on

00:56:04.480 there. Maybe I just Googled his and tried to like track. That's how I've gotten podcast guests. So many

00:56:09.080 people have asked, how do you get such great podcast guests? Well, I asked him, well, I reached

00:56:12.760 out to them and they didn't, they didn't answer me. Okay. Well figure out another way out. They

00:56:17.480 didn't answer me on Instagram. Cool. Get their email. Well, I don't have their email. Well, find it.

00:56:22.040 It's somewhere. Somebody at some point has emailed them. You can't find it.

00:56:28.140 You can find it. You can find your hand. It's all out there.

00:56:33.440 So use the tools and show some initiative. All right. I felt like a little bit of a soapbox.

00:56:38.980 How are we doing on time? All right. Let's take a couple more here.

00:56:45.780 Okay. Here's one in regards to sacrifice towards a greater good for me and mine and life,

00:56:51.180 liberty and pursuit of happiness. How can one gadget? I think that's supposed to say gauge.

00:56:56.420 How can one gauge the level to which a successful outcome is possible without causing further damage,

00:57:02.460 backsliding financially or excessive exclusion context? Good. I need some context on this one to

00:57:08.180 relocate out of state for better opportunities and community in our late forties and fifties,

00:57:12.160 seeing how your success in the similar has inspired a hope and optimistic path. Okay. So,

00:57:16.560 you know, considering in his forties and fifties, uh, relocating out of state for better opportunities.

00:57:21.760 Look, here's a couple of strategies I would use for gauging outcomes and whether or not the risk is

00:57:26.760 worth a potential reward. Here's what I would say. Okay. Number one fat, this is a exercise in

00:57:33.100 consciousness. Fast forward 20 years or 30 years, looking back to today, which decision will you be

00:57:42.640 glad that you made? Again, fast forward 20, 30 years in your life, looking back, which decision

00:57:49.540 will you be glad that you made? This particularly rates relates to the question I get a lot, which is,

00:57:54.960 you know, Ryan, I have this opportunity to go to this company and I can make, you know,

00:57:59.340 an extra $10,000 a year and it's a great opportunity. Um, but I'll have to move away

00:58:04.460 from my family and I won't ever see my kids and, you know, I'll be able to come home on the weekends,

00:58:08.080 but I'll be making great money over here. Okay. Fast forward 20 years, kids are out of the house.

00:58:14.880 You're empty nesters. You can do whatever you want. Looking back on today, which decision will you

00:58:22.220 be glad that you made? And I think chasing the $10,000 is going to be less significant in the grand

00:58:28.300 scheme of things than sticking around and being at little Timmy's baseball game and Susie's piano

00:58:34.080 or dance recital. Sorry. Those are gender stereotypes. I'm sorry. Susie's baseball game and

00:58:40.440 Timmy's dance recital. Okay. You get the point, right? Okay. That's, that's number one. That's

00:58:46.800 the first thing I do. Number two, play it out, play out the worst case scenario. So my family and I,

00:58:52.240 a lot of you guys know, we moved here, uh, to Maine two years ago. And in fact, it's, I think,

00:58:58.080 yeah, it's two years ago this month when we moved here to Maine and we played it out. What's the worst

00:59:03.840 possible scenario for moving here to Maine? Well, the worst possible scenario is that we move out

00:59:12.620 here. We hate it. We despise it. We don't have any friends. We don't like it. It's miserable.

00:59:17.120 And then we're cold for two years and we move home and maybe we're out a hundred thousand dollars

00:59:22.600 or something, whatever, whatever it comes to with all the costs and everything over two years.

00:59:26.460 Okay. Is that really that bad? No, it's not bad at all. There's, there's actually very little risk

00:59:31.820 in that, but you know what? I've had a lot of people say, well, you know, right. I'd like to do

00:59:35.020 that, but I've got a job and I've got a family and I've got this and I've got obligations. I've got

00:59:38.760 responsibilities. You don't think I had that shit. I had that too. My wife had that too. She had 1.00

00:59:43.560 desires to stay there. Born and raised in the Valley in which we lived. You think it was easy

00:59:50.140 for her or me or my kids to leave? No, of course not. We had all the same things, but we fast forward

00:59:56.120 20, 30 years and we said, you know what? Here's an opportunity. We have the financial means. I have

01:00:00.240 the flexibility with work to give this a shot. We know a couple of people out there. We've always

01:00:04.580 wanted to move. We have this beautiful home we can purchase. Let's try it. We fast forward to 20,

01:00:11.140 30 years. Looking back, yeah, we're going to be glad that we did this. Even if it didn't work out,

01:00:16.680 we would be glad that we did it because we did it. We tried it. And then I played out the worst

01:00:22.220 possible scenario. The worst possible scenario. Okay. It's bad. We're cold for a couple of years.

01:00:25.680 We move home. We get right back into it where we picked up and we're out two years, but we're really

01:00:29.400 not out two years because we spent two years together. That's not that bad. So I think if you use

01:00:34.740 those two strategies, you're going to start to get a very clear picture of what you should do.

01:00:39.200 So I think I already know the answer. I'm not going to say what I think the answer is,

01:00:42.940 but I think you'll come to the right answer, the right conclusion. All right. How are we doing

01:00:47.080 on time? I'm going to take one more. Let me see if I can find one more good one here.

01:00:55.380 Here's one of those questions about dealing with guys that may not agree with your ideas and

01:01:01.300 philosophies. Again, I don't care. They don't have to. I mean, I want to share what I want to share,

01:01:06.580 and I would like these guys to take this to heart and hopefully it'll improve their lives

01:01:10.060 to some degree. But again, it's not my responsibility to save people who aren't

01:01:13.620 interested in being saved. Okay. I like this one because I actually made a post about this on

01:01:24.120 Instagram just yesterday. So this is from Joe Langley one. He said, I would like to hear your

01:01:28.600 thoughts on encouraging kids to follow in the family business versus building something on their

01:01:32.640 own. Guys, I've never expected my children do the same things that I do. Never expected or demanded

01:01:40.260 that they'd be interested in the same things I am. I've never mocked or ridiculed or poked or made fun

01:01:44.580 of their own interest and hobbies and activities because we're all different. Everybody's different.

01:01:49.260 Even my own kids who are around me all the time. They're influenced by me. They're probably inspired

01:01:54.280 to varying degrees by me, but they don't have to follow in my exact footsteps. I hope there's

01:01:59.380 principles that they learned from me and my wife, their mother, uh, that were, that are going to

01:02:03.340 help serve them. You know, I hope that's the case. Uh, but those are, those are principles.

01:02:09.200 Those aren't exact strategies or tactics for the way that they live their life. If my oldest son wants

01:02:14.360 to be a veterinarian and my youngest son wants to drive race cars and my daughter wants to, um, be a

01:02:20.560 preschool teacher, like, cool. That's, that's great. Do that. My job is to support you in that,

01:02:26.700 not support you in doing what I want you to do. I always thought I'd be the dad who's like,

01:02:30.500 you have to play football because football, I don't care if you play football. If you, that's

01:02:36.320 what, that's my sport. That's what I liked football and baseball when I grew up. Okay. So I would love

01:02:42.020 you to play football and baseball, but if you want to play lacrosse and run track, awesome. I want you

01:02:49.760 to do that. I would love for one of my children to be involved in this business in the order of man.

01:02:55.380 I would love one or more, all of them to be involved in this. But if they're like, you know,

01:02:59.060 dad, that's not my thing. Like I'd rather go travel the world and, and, and help people in

01:03:03.940 poverty and, or I want to become a doctor or, um, you know, I want to, I want to race cars or be a

01:03:09.840 veteran or whatever, whatever. Good. I think that's wonderful. It's my hope that what I do here with

01:03:16.500 order of man and just the way I show up as a father gives you everything that you need to be able

01:03:23.500 to chase and pursue your own interests and passions and desires. And that's good. That's

01:03:31.380 how it should be. Actually, that that's the beauty of freedom. That's the beauty of, well,

01:03:36.360 at least some of the beauty of the country that we live in. You're not obligated to do it one way.

01:03:40.860 You're not obligated to follow my footsteps. You're not obligated to do it the way the government tells

01:03:44.760 you to do it. You are obligated to follow your own passions, desires, and heart. I think that's a

01:03:50.560 moral obligation. You have a moral responsibility at a minimum. So do that and I'll help you.

01:03:58.800 I'll support you. I'll clear the path. I won't clear it completely, but I'll make sure it's done

01:04:04.840 in a controlled environment so you can learn effectively so that when you are out on your own,

01:04:08.480 you can have the results and the success you desire. All right, guys, great questions today.

01:04:13.240 Really good questions. I hope I gave you some good answers. Some better than others, I'm sure,

01:04:17.240 but yeah, keep them coming. We're going to be back on Friday for our Friday Field Notes. Remember,

01:04:21.860 just support what we're doing here. Share this podcast, share the book, share the social media

01:04:25.560 profiles, take a screenshot. That actually goes a long way. If you just take a screenshot of this

01:04:30.260 particular podcast, whether you're listening on YouTube or Apple or Spotify or wherever you're

01:04:34.740 doing the podcast thing, take a screenshot, tag me at Ryan Mickler on Instagram and Facebook and

01:04:40.580 Twitter. Instagram mostly, that's where I'm most active. That goes a long way. Check out the

01:04:44.920 legacy event, the father-son event between the boys between the ages of 8 to 15. That's September

01:04:49.380 23rd through the 26th, 2021 here on my property in Maine, orderofman.com slash legacy, orderofman.com

01:04:55.960 slash legacy. All right, guys, we'll be back on Friday. Until then, go out there, take action,

01:05:00.420 and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:05:05.160 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:05:08.800 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

01:05:14.920 We'll be right back.

Order of Man - June 02, 2021

The Steady Decline of Society, Cultivating Aggressive Patience, and Dealing With Disrespect ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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