Order of Man

00:00:00.000 There is a huge, huge misunderstanding with men regarding emotional health and well-being.

00:00:06.500 Most men believe, whether consciously or subconsciously, that they ought to just

00:00:10.980 stuff their emotions down. They ought to be quote-unquote stoic. And there's a definite

00:00:16.240 misinterpretation of what stoicism is. Stoicism is not the absence of emotion. Guys, if you're

00:00:23.160 feeling emotional, that's okay. You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest.

00:00:29.120 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more

00:00:35.160 time. Every time. You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your

00:00:42.400 life. This is who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is

00:00:48.120 said and done, you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, welcome to the Order of Man podcast.

00:00:54.140 Thanks for tuning in today. Before we get into the meat of the discussion, I want to make a very

00:00:58.720 special and exciting announcement. The Iron Council is back open. If you don't know what

00:01:04.220 this is, let me explain that this is a exclusive band of brothers. This is over a thousand men

00:01:10.440 working together, holding each other accountable, running through processes and systems and frameworks

00:01:16.620 that we've identified and developed over the past almost nine years now, and have literally helped

00:01:23.500 tens of thousands of men get on track with their health, their relationships, their bank

00:01:29.100 accounts, their businesses. Every aspect of life that these guys have wanted to improve

00:01:33.740 has worked because of the powerful network that we have of strong, motivated, ambitious men,

00:01:41.180 and because of the frameworks, the tools and the systems and processes that we have that produce

00:01:46.640 replicatable results. And that's what we want. We don't want success to be a fluke. We don't want it

00:01:53.500 just happen periodically. We want to be very systematic and methodical in how we approach

00:01:58.160 our lives on a daily basis that we know, we know without fail, if we do that work, it's going to

00:02:06.360 produce the results and the, and the goals that we're after. So if you're interested in banding with

00:02:11.140 us, head to order a man.com slash iron council, we're going to be open for two weeks. That's it two

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00:02:22.780 members up to speed and onboarded and familiar with our processes and get them connected with

00:02:28.740 other men who are going to help them grow in their lives. Again, order a man.com slash iron council.

00:02:33.820 Now, one of the things that we talk quite often about in the iron council is our health. And I

00:02:40.360 think I've found that most men are pretty good at certain elements of health, but not the, what I

00:02:46.440 would call trifecta of health. And the trifecta of health is your mental health, your emotional

00:02:52.480 health, and obviously your physical health. A lot of guys out there physically, they've got things

00:02:59.120 dialed in. They've got chiseled abs. They've got low body fat. They're getting the sleep. They're

00:03:04.140 worried about their testosterone levels and those are appropriate and where they need to be. And they

00:03:08.740 look great. But if any little thing gets in their way, uh, they crumble at the slightest sign of

00:03:15.040 adversity. And to me, that's an indicator that maybe their mental health is off. Uh, I see other guys

00:03:21.180 who, again, physically strong and fit in a specimen as a man from a physical perspective, but these men

00:03:29.760 are tossed to and fro based on life events and situations. And, uh, they allow their emotions to get

00:03:37.180 the better of them. They react to situations instead of respond. They continually have to find

00:03:43.640 themselves saying, sorry, because they lashed out at people. Uh, maybe they find themselves being sad

00:03:51.100 or upset or their own emotion or their own success for the day is based on how somebody, how somebody

00:03:59.960 else is feeling. Uh, these are really good indicators that your emotional wellbeing is off. So today I'm going

00:04:06.640 to share with you some key things that you can do to improve your mental, your emotional, and your

00:04:12.720 physical health. Now let's start with physical health because I think that's probably the easiest.

00:04:17.180 Uh, it's the one that I think most men are familiar with. And so we'll check this one off. Not that it's

00:04:22.220 not important by any means, but it's very easy to address. Obviously we need to eat right. Our bodies are

00:04:29.280 machines. You know, if you look at your car, it's a machine, it has an oil change and it's got fluids

00:04:35.320 that you make sure are appropriate and clean and the levels are where they need to be. You're constantly

00:04:40.600 filling it with gas. You're checking your air pressure, check engine lights, come on, you're

00:04:45.200 servicing it. You're doing all the things that you need to do to maintain the longevity of that vehicle.

00:04:49.960 If you're being smart, if you're being prudent, uh, and, and if you are, then that vehicle is going to

00:04:55.640 last a very long time. I've got a 99 Toyota Tacoma sitting out in my driveway. Uh, I think it's got

00:05:01.740 just under 300,000 miles on it now and it's going like a champion. Now granted it's a, it's an early

00:05:08.620 model Toyota, which obviously is, is the nature of those types of vehicles, but I maintain it. Uh, I,

00:05:16.100 I, I invest in it. I put money into it. I get the oil changes. I do the servicing. I do the things that

00:05:22.720 need to be done in order to maintain the, the, the level of performance with that vehicle. But can you

00:05:28.520 say that you're doing the same thing in your life? If you're snacking and eating junk food and fueling

00:05:33.980 this body, this machine that you have with nonsense and bull crap, then obviously it's going to wear

00:05:39.260 out. It's going to break down. Uh, you're going to see yourself running across all sorts of medical

00:05:44.860 conditions, complications, and diagnoses because you're not taking care of yourself. So when people

00:05:51.740 ask me what I eat when I'm doing well, and I'm not always doing well, I want to be very clear on that,

00:05:57.020 but when I have things locked in the diet, and it's not a diet, but my diet, and there's a difference

00:06:02.720 between a diet and my diet, uh, is to eat clean. And people say, well, what does that mean? Guys,

00:06:09.260 we all know what it means. All right. Get your, get your protein intake in, get your sugars from

00:06:15.500 fruits primarily and eat vegetables outside of that drink water. It's really not that difficult,

00:06:22.260 you know, throw some starches in there with rice and things like this, and you're good to go.

00:06:26.680 It isn't sexy. It isn't glamorous. I can't do a two hour podcast on, you know, what enzymes break

00:06:33.760 down what, and, and how much this you need versus that everybody knows what to eat. So when it comes

00:06:41.520 to protein, uh, you're going to eat one gram per, per, uh, pound that you weigh. So for me, I'm going to

00:06:48.060 eat about 190 grams of protein per day. If I'm hitting my, my macros, hitting my goals, uh, I'm going to

00:06:55.680 every meal I'm going to have, uh, one of those servings is going to be vegetables. My go-to are

00:07:01.200 green beans and asparagus. Um, I might have some rice in there or sweet potatoes, and then it's

00:07:06.960 trying to consume as much water as possible. Again, I don't always have this locked in, but I know even

00:07:12.080 just anecdotally when my diet is locked in, not just because the way I look, but because the way I feel

00:07:17.840 I'm energized, I feel lean. I, I've got focus and clarity. I don't feel bloated. There's certain

00:07:25.300 foods that make me feel that way. Dairy is one, uh, high, high gluten is, is another problem for me.

00:07:32.000 And I think it is for a lot of people to process. So get to know your body and figure out what works

00:07:38.140 for you and what doesn't. But ultimately the, the idea is to eat clean outside of that. Obviously you're

00:07:43.900 going to exercise and for men, you need to lift weights. Now, look, I know that there's a lot of

00:07:50.080 debate and a lot of people out there who do other things, and I'm not going to bash on those things

00:07:54.000 by any means. Let's say you're a ultra endurance runner. That's great. I say run, but also you should

00:08:00.940 lift weights. Uh, we, we see how good it is for the body to build muscle, how accelerated you can

00:08:07.660 build up your metabolism, which helps you burn fat. Um, and not to mention the aesthetic of a man

00:08:13.780 who is strong, big shoulders, big back, big arms, big legs, big ass. Like this is not just going to

00:08:22.820 help you perform better in life. It's also going to look better. You're going to feel better about

00:08:29.420 yourself. You're going to be more attractive to other people. Now that's not the reason you should do

00:08:34.160 it, but that's a great ancillary benefit to being fit, to being strong and looking the part of a

00:08:40.860 man. If you look like a, a wet noodle, uh, you know, you're probably not going to be taken as

00:08:46.660 seriously. Now, look again, if you want to do cardio and you want to run and you're doing jujitsu and

00:08:52.100 you're doing these other things, I'm not bashing on those by any means. I think it's important that

00:08:56.540 you get out and do what works for you. That's the most important thing. But I'm telling you, if you can

00:09:01.380 lift two, three, four, five days per week, you're going to drastically and radically improve your

00:09:08.040 aesthetic, but you're also more importantly going to improve your overall physical health, which will

00:09:13.480 obviously spill over into the relationship you have with your, your wife or your girlfriend, uh,

00:09:19.620 your business, how much energy you have, how much money you make, how seriously you're being taken.

00:09:24.860 So get in the gym, work out and build that muscle, burn that fat outside of that. Things that we know

00:09:31.780 about obviously getting the proper amount of sleep. This is one that I have bucked for a very long time

00:09:37.780 and I still do, but I noticed a difference, obviously when I get seven plus hours of sleep

00:09:43.040 versus when I get four to five. And I'm one of those people that I don't totally break down if,

00:09:49.600 if I am operating on four to five hours of sleep, but I'm telling you, I'm that much more

00:09:53.800 effective and efficient if I get that seven hours. So ideally I'm going to go to bed about

00:09:58.700 10, 10 30, maybe 11. And I get up, uh, anywhere from five to 6 AM and I get after it. I go to the

00:10:07.120 gym, I work out, I try to get as much water as I can early on. And that is how I feel healthy.

00:10:14.020 I don't even really need to go into the benefits of doing that. You know, that you're going to feel

00:10:18.500 better and stronger and more focus and more clarity and more successful. If you do that,

00:10:24.000 the other thing I would suggest to you guys, and we're going to do some more podcasts on this in

00:10:27.940 the very near future. Uh, I want you to go get your blood work done now, obviously do this under the

00:10:32.840 direction of a qualified medical, uh, practitioner, but consider getting your blood work done.

00:10:38.980 Look at your, your, your, uh, vitamin levels. Look at your testosterone is a big one. My testosterone

00:10:47.060 levels used to be in the mid two hundreds. Obviously that was an issue. A lot of that had to do with my

00:10:52.640 sedentary lifestyle. Also with drinking excessively. Uh, there's things that you can do to boost your net,

00:10:58.900 your testosterone naturally, and you should work on those things. And what are those things

00:11:03.020 eating correctly, specifically protein, uh, getting the proper amount of sleep. We already addressed

00:11:09.720 that exercising and building muscle. We already addressed that, uh, competing with other men is

00:11:15.960 scientifically proven and not just competing, but winning against other men is scientifically proven

00:11:21.000 to boost testosterone levels. Um, having sex boost testosterone levels. There's things that you can do,

00:11:27.620 uh, engaging in, in activities that we, that I would call manly activities, you know, so this is jujitsu

00:11:34.580 and wrestling and shooting firearms and going camping and exploring nature and building things.

00:11:42.400 These also, this also boost, uh, testosterone naturally. I'm not going to get really into the

00:11:47.740 TRT, the replacement stuff right now. Um, I'd rather have somebody who's extremely and evidently qualified

00:11:52.860 to come on and talk about that, but you can, again, work with your medical practitioner

00:11:56.900 and talk about the pros and cons of maybe boosting your testosterone through, uh, injections,

00:12:03.380 but we'll save that for another day. Guys, make sure that you have this key component of the

00:12:09.420 trifecta of men's health in lock. I promise everything else in your life will improve.

00:12:14.380 So that's the physical health. Let's go to the mental health. This one's tough. Uh, when it comes

00:12:19.240 to mental health, usually what I talk about is mental fortitude and strength and resiliency. Uh, I've seen

00:12:25.780 grown men crumble at the slightest sign of adversity. Everything is hard. Everything is

00:12:32.140 difficult. Uh, they play the victim card way more than they ought to, which is anytime you play it

00:12:38.480 is way more than you ought to. Uh, and these are what I would call mental midgets. Uh, they, they,

00:12:44.100 they struggle, you know, it's, it's like their boss yells at them or it gets upset with them and they

00:12:48.940 just lose their minds. Like they, they can't be productive. Um, when, when there's difficult and

00:12:55.660 demanding circumstances, they cower, they run, they hide, they hide behind other people. They ask

00:13:00.680 other people to stand in for them. They can't have bold, assertive conversations with other people

00:13:07.520 because they're worried about how that person might respond or react or think about them. Um, and

00:13:12.760 they're just not gritty, right? You know, people like that. They're just not gritty, resilient,

00:13:19.300 tough, hardy people, man. We don't want to be like that. We don't want to be weak and pathetic and

00:13:24.400 cowardly and soft. We don't want to shirk our responsibility. We don't want to be incapable

00:13:29.100 of handling and shouldering the weight, the burden of what it means to be a man. So how do you develop

00:13:35.940 mental fortitude? Well, I think there's a lot of time you can spend in your own head. This is not

00:13:41.800 the only thing by any means, but in your own head, thinking about who you are and the stories you

00:13:48.140 tell yourself and why you think the way that you think, and then just deciding that you're going

00:13:53.440 to change your mindset from one of victimhood and weakness to one of competency and courage

00:14:01.080 and fortitude. So you can actually get things done. Now, outside of that, the way to build up

00:14:06.740 mental fortitude. So you don't crumble when little dumb things happen throughout the day. And they do

00:14:11.160 hundreds, if not thousands of things throughout the day happen. I don't want you to crumble in

00:14:14.980 face of those things. And I also don't want you to crumble in the face of big things. So the best

00:14:19.900 thing that you can do is the thing that you don't want to do. It's the challenging thing. It's the

00:14:26.240 hard thing. Maybe it's physically related. Maybe you don't want to go to the gym. Maybe you don't want

00:14:31.600 to push through a hard workout. Well, then that's exactly what you should do. Maybe you're just

00:14:37.100 completely afraid of public speaking. Then that's exactly what you should do. Maybe you have a hard

00:14:43.840 time sitting in solitude, sitting by yourself, just being quiet and being with yourself. Well,

00:14:50.960 then that's exactly what you should do. I think Jordan Peterson says, and I'll paraphrase here because

00:14:57.300 I can't remember exactly what it is right offhand, but he talks about the thing that you want or the

00:15:03.540 thing that you need in life is where you're least likely to want to look. So if something is presenting

00:15:10.600 itself to you and you're just like, ah, I don't want to do that. I'm afraid. Or that seems

00:15:14.900 uncomfortable. Or even if you don't have those conscious thoughts, but you're procrastinating

00:15:19.180 doing that thing, then that's the exact thing that you should do. And look, just because you go do

00:15:24.680 something difficult and demanding doesn't mean you need to dive in head first. And you know, that

00:15:29.900 becomes your way of life. No, but go try it. And that's another important factor of building up

00:15:35.600 mental fortitude is this idea of experimentation through life. Just because you go do something

00:15:41.920 doesn't mean that you're obligated to do it forever. But we should be trying new things. We

00:15:47.500 should be exposed to new stimulus and new hardship and new encounters and new people for different

00:15:53.560 perspectives and looking at things in a different way. Guys, we can develop our mental fortitude

00:15:58.160 every single day very easily by just getting up and going to the gym very easily by deciding I'm

00:16:04.540 going to exhibit some courage and have that conversation that I've been putting off for

00:16:07.880 weeks or months or years very easily by sitting alone with your thoughts, wondering about where

00:16:15.260 you come from and who you are and where you want to go and what scares you and what keeps you up at

00:16:21.520 night and what you're good at and what you're not good at. And that leads to another great point is

00:16:25.620 just being truthful about the reality of the situation that you probably aren't as good as

00:16:30.000 you think you are. You're not performing as well as you ought to or you could. And there's a lot of

00:16:35.520 room left on the table for your own personal development and growth. People don't like to say

00:16:40.320 that. I don't even like to say that about myself, obviously. But the more you say that in truth,

00:16:45.000 in honesty, I'm not talking about self-deprecation to the point where it hinders you. I'm talking about

00:16:51.360 just being honest so that you can decide where your shortcomings are and what exactly you need

00:16:58.320 to do. So I'm going to challenge you right now. Obviously, the physical health, I've challenged you

00:17:02.320 to go in and work out and do all those things. But I'm going to challenge you this week, this, well,

00:17:06.580 I should say this weekend, because this episode comes out on a Friday. This weekend, I want you to

00:17:11.540 make a list of all the things that you've been procrastinating about and then come up with a plan to do

00:17:16.320 them. If you can crank it all out this weekend, bonus points. If it's going to take you a couple

00:17:21.560 of days or a couple of weeks, I get it. Maybe there's some conversations that need to take place

00:17:26.540 next week at work or with your significant other. Maybe there's some scheduling things that you need

00:17:34.360 to do to schedule some sort of physical endurance event or these types of things. But the thing that

00:17:41.060 you're scared of, do that. Do that. All right. So we've covered physical, we've covered mental. And

00:17:47.720 by the way, you should be doing these things every day. So if you have to give yourself a point,

00:17:52.740 you can earn three points per day. Give yourself one point if you do something physical. And I'm not

00:17:57.680 talking about you took the dog out for a walk. You have to do that shit anyways. I'm talking about

00:18:02.280 very clear, deliberate, intentional action in building up your physical health. Maybe it's throwing

00:18:09.200 away all the junk food. Maybe it's not drinking alcohol. Maybe it's going into the gym or going

00:18:14.000 to jujitsu today or going on that hike. But if it's clear, deliberate and intentional, give yourself

00:18:18.920 a point. Give yourself another point. If you did something difficult and demanding, I'm not talking

00:18:23.920 about you went into work and you had to do the hundred emails that came in throughout the day that

00:18:28.740 you have to do that stuff. That's not what I'm talking about. Did you give the presentation?

00:18:33.600 Did you have an uncomfortable conversation? Did you sign up for that event? That's where the real

00:18:40.280 work begins. Now, let's talk about this third component of the trifecta of men's health. That

00:18:46.140 is your emotional well-being. There is a huge, huge misunderstanding with men regarding emotional

00:18:52.660 health and well-being. Most men believe, whether consciously or subconsciously, that they ought to

00:18:58.520 just stuff their emotions down. They ought to be quote unquote stoic. And there's a definite

00:19:04.000 misinterpretation of what stoicism is. Stoicism is not the absence of emotion. Guys, if you're feeling

00:19:11.220 emotional, that's okay. If you're angry or sad or happy or glad or scared, you don't need to stuff that

00:19:20.680 thing down. You're experiencing that as part of this human experiment, this human life that you

00:19:28.520 have, there's a reason that you are equipped with your emotions and they are tools. And by the way,

00:19:35.460 I don't believe that there's any negative emotion. There's, there's no emotion that you could convince

00:19:41.060 me that is negative. They're, they just are. It's what we do. It's our response to them. So if I'm angry

00:19:47.080 and I decide to punch a hole in the wall because one of my people isn't doing what I think they should

00:19:55.380 be doing and so I punch a hole in the wall, it's not the anger. That's the problem. It's my response

00:20:01.260 to the anger. It's me punching a hole in the wall. If we take that same scenario and I'm angry that one

00:20:06.820 of my people isn't doing what I think they should be doing and I'm upset about it and I'm angry about

00:20:11.400 it. And instead I decide to, instead of punch a hole in the wall, go talk to that person about what

00:20:17.700 I expect of them and what they can expect of me and what the standard is. And then they improve.

00:20:22.380 Well, wouldn't you agree that that's an appropriate use of the anger?

00:20:28.500 The analogy that I often use is that our emotions are nothing more than the dashboard of your vehicle.

00:20:38.200 You've got the odometer and the speedometer and the fuel gauge and the oil pressure and oil

00:20:43.480 temperature. You've got all these gauges, right? RPMs. You've got all of it right there on the dashboard.

00:20:47.980 And you look at that periodically to make sure you're within the bounds of safe driving. And you

00:20:54.620 also make sure that the system is operating correctly. And if it's not, you're going to see

00:20:59.260 one of those gauges go to a little red line or the little check engine light's going to come on or the

00:21:03.380 little battery signal is going to come on and it's going to light up. Now, when those things come up,

00:21:08.260 let's say a little check engine light comes on, you don't jerk on the wheel right off the road and wrap

00:21:15.340 your truck around the next telephone pole. You see, that would be stupid. Instead, when it's

00:21:22.060 appropriate, you pull over and you take it into the shop. They run a diagnostic on it. They tell

00:21:26.600 you what's wrong. You pay a little money and you get it fixed. And then you get your butt back on the

00:21:30.580 road. That's clearly obvious what we do when it comes to vehicle maintenance. But when it comes to

00:21:36.600 our own personal maintenance, we don't do that. We get pissed and then we're pissed that we're pissed.

00:21:40.480 Instead, if you're angry or sad or hurt or lonely or afraid or scared, these quote unquote, so-called

00:21:49.140 negative emotions, stop, assess, figure out what's going on. And then once you've thought about what

00:21:58.940 is happening right now, then you can come up with an appropriate course of action to get yourself back

00:22:05.080 on the path. Maybe it is a difficult conversation. And look, I'm not telling you just because you

00:22:10.720 identify what the problem is, it's going to now be easy. It isn't. Having that difficult conversation

00:22:15.700 is still going to be a challenge. But how many times have you had those types of conversations and you

00:22:22.280 feel better afterwards? The anger goes away, the greed, the fear, the sorrow, it all goes away because

00:22:28.880 you've addressed the problem. It's like that check engine light turns off because the problem is fixed.

00:22:34.500 So when you hear these concepts and talk about these concepts of stoicism, don't for a minute

00:22:41.700 believe that that means you ought to just stuff everything down. Now, there is a time and a place

00:22:46.600 where you ought to. You can't have an emotional breakdown at work or in front of your kids, for

00:22:52.520 example. Maybe even in front of your spouse, you probably shouldn't do that. But you can stuff it

00:23:01.360 down temporarily to come back and address it later. So what I would suggest to you is to be very aware

00:23:08.120 of your emotions. And there's two really good ways that I personally do this. Number one is journal.

00:23:14.600 That's three. I'll give you three. Number one is journaling. When I'm feeling a certain way and I can feel

00:23:20.840 my blood boiling or I can feel something festering, I write it down. It's important to get it out of my mind,

00:23:28.080 out of my body, and write it down. And sometimes that's enough. It's enough to get it out and let it dissipate

00:23:35.960 because it's no longer just bouncing around and stewing and brewing in my brain. Okay. Number two is I give

00:23:42.760 myself space. I know that if I am emotional, that I will make dumb decisions. In the moment, there'll be rash.

00:23:53.440 I'll hurt somebody's feelings. I'll do something I shouldn't do. I've punched holes in walls in the

00:23:58.700 past. Like we've all done these things. So I have to give myself space. So I disengage from whatever's

00:24:05.840 pissing me off. If I'm going through emails and I'm fired up and bothered because, you know, so-and-so

00:24:11.620 isn't doing what they need to be doing, then I just need to disengage from it. I can always come back to

00:24:16.580 the email. If I'm in a debate or an argument with my significant other, then the best thing I can do

00:24:23.120 if I'm feeling myself getting heated and frustrated is to say, hey, you know what? I need a timeout. I

00:24:28.100 need a pause real quick. I'm just going to go for a walk. But you have to come back and re-engage.

00:24:33.020 If something at work is frustrating you, maybe you lost a client or your boss is jumping down your

00:24:38.580 throat about something, disengage for a minute. Collect your thoughts, figure out how you're feeling,

00:24:44.840 and then you can re-engage with a clear level perspective. And then the third, so that's number

00:24:50.500 two, is to disengage and create some space and margin. And then the third component of this is

00:24:55.960 therapy. You know, I can't tell you how often men will say, oh, you don't need a therapist. You

00:25:03.100 shouldn't have that. I'm not saying that's the only thing you should do. That's a problem. If all

00:25:09.300 you're doing is talking about your problems, you could actually be making them worse. What you've

00:25:14.820 focused on is what tends to be the emphasis of your life. So if you're focused on your problems and

00:25:22.480 how you're feeling and why everybody's out to get you and all the hardships and the woes, and that's

00:25:27.260 all you're doing, of course that's going to be a problem. Because now you're just dwelling on it.

00:25:32.320 You've made it bigger than maybe it needed to be. But there is an appropriate time to have a

00:25:37.420 sounding board, to have somebody who can look at things from an objective point of view and share

00:25:44.140 some questions or some thoughts or some guidance and direction. The therapist I use is really good

00:25:49.940 about asking questions and then letting me come up with answers to my own challenges. And if he thinks

00:25:56.900 there's something better, he isn't going to point it out. He just asks a different question and leads me

00:26:01.240 down a different path. But there is one thing I really like about my therapist and that is that

00:26:06.280 he drives me to action. So I never leave. I have my phone with me. I take notes while I'm doing my

00:26:12.460 sessions. And I never leave without three, four, five, six different things that I can actively do

00:26:17.500 in my life to improve my situation and my circumstances. I'm very action oriented. I think

00:26:23.100 most men are, generally speaking. And so I don't want to just sit around and hold each other's hands

00:26:28.340 and rub each other's balls and make each other feel better about all of our life's problems.

00:26:33.000 No, I want to do something about it. But sometimes having a professional who can be objective to give

00:26:40.440 you some different insight into how you're feeling or why you're experiencing what you experience

00:26:45.300 will lead you to better action. So again, the three points in building some emotional fortitude,

00:26:54.920 again, is if you're feeling emotional, don't stuff it. Embrace it, actually. Don't react to it.

00:27:01.900 You are going to need to respond at some point. We're not going to react, but we're going to write

00:27:05.560 it down. Hey, I'm feeling angry because I lost this client and some other competitor stole this client.

00:27:13.820 Okay, you can be angry about that. So what are you going to do about it? Okay, so writing it down.

00:27:19.560 Number two, creating some margin. I'm feeling angry. I'm feeling pissed off. I'm feeling bitter.

00:27:25.000 I'm feeling contentious. Create some margin, create some space, create a gap, and then come back into

00:27:30.740 the situation with a level head. And then number three is consider therapy so you can work through

00:27:36.840 some of this stuff. Also just reading, right? Reading and listening to good material that talks

00:27:41.440 about these things, whether it's this podcast or, you know, meditations by Marcus Aurelius or any of

00:27:46.320 the Stoic works, Epictetus or Socrates or any of these others. But read, you know, go to conferences,

00:27:52.880 gain new insight, learn how your mind works, learn why you're emotional. These are all really good

00:27:58.360 ways to address the emotions that will inevitably come up. But remember, when it comes to this third

00:28:02.960 component of the trifecta of men's health, we're not going to subdue it. We're not going to hide it.

00:28:07.580 It's going to come up and rear its ugly head at some point. So you might as well address it now when

00:28:11.940 it's manageable. It's like a baby dragon. You know, if you have to kill a baby dragon or a baby lion

00:28:17.000 and you have to kill that thing, it's best to kill it when it's small because it's going to become a

00:28:22.160 real nuisance really quickly if you let that thing get bigger and get claws and teeth and strength.

00:28:28.320 So deal with it now. Anyways, guys, I hope that helps. If you have other thoughts and ideas,

00:28:33.460 please let us know. Like I said, this is something that we talk a lot about in our exclusive

00:28:38.800 brotherhood, the Iron Council, guys who are dealing with emotional hardship in their relationships,

00:28:44.740 guys who are dealing with work issues and body issues. All of these health factors are very real

00:28:51.800 concerns. And we have professionals inside the Iron Council. We have health professionals. We have

00:28:56.780 mental health professionals. We have coaches and fitness trainers, instructors, nutritionists,

00:29:02.980 running coaches. I mean, whatever you need, we've got men in there who are going to be in your corner

00:29:09.700 standing by you working the same systems that you are holding you accountable, just like you're going

00:29:15.540 to be expected to hold them accountable. And then the beauty of this, at least part of it, is that you're

00:29:20.720 going to operate in a small team. These are 10 to 15 man teams where you're going to connect with these

00:29:26.420 guys. You're going to learn about their lives. You're going to learn about their families and their

00:29:29.820 occupations and their hobbies. Many of these guys are getting together and they're doing meetups and

00:29:34.620 they're going on hikes and they're golfing together and they're doing life together, trying to accomplish

00:29:39.180 something big and meaningful and significant, but doing it together. For thousands and thousands of

00:29:44.920 years, men have been banding together. And it isn't until relatively recently that we've even called

00:29:49.380 into question that we can maybe do it alone. You're not meant to do it alone, guys. You're meant to do it

00:29:54.760 with other men. But where do you find those guys? They're few and far between. If you had an

00:29:59.520 experience like I've had when I was actively looking for good, solid men in my corner, this is

00:30:04.880 where they are in the Iron Council. So if you want to talk about mental health, emotional health,

00:30:09.920 physical health, you want to be held accountable to some of those goals in those areas and others,

00:30:14.120 then join us in the Iron Council at orderofman.com slash Iron Council. It is open as of today.

00:30:20.300 So I hope to see you inside. Guys, we'll be back next week. I got a great podcast with Mark

00:30:25.860 Driscoll coming out on Tuesday of next week. So make sure you hit that little subscribe button.

00:30:30.060 Until then, go out there, take action, work on the trifecta of men's health,

00:30:34.360 become the man you are meant to be.

00:30:39.900 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your

00:30:44.180 life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

00:30:55.860 Thank you.

The Trifecta of Men's Health ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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