Order of Man - The Truth Shall Set You Free ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly charge

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.200 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.640 I'm your host and the founder of the Order A Man podcast and movement. Welcome here today.

00:00:32.760 If you're brand new and you're just finding us here in the beginning of 2024, I want to let you know

00:00:37.620 that this is a podcast dedicated to giving you tools and resources and conversations that you

00:00:43.020 need to thrive in your life as a man. If you're showing up as a husband, a brother, a father,

00:00:48.740 a business owner, a community leader, we're here to support you. I want to give you everything that

00:00:52.680 you need. And we do this podcast. We've got our merchandise store. We've got courses and programs

00:00:56.960 available. And we've got our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council, which is not currently open,

00:01:01.740 but it will be here in the next few months. And we're also doing events. And I'm going to be

00:01:06.800 releasing some event dates here in the next week or so. So stay tuned for that. Glad you're here.

00:01:11.900 Glad you're tuning in. Today, I want to talk with you about telling yourself the truth and being honest

00:01:16.240 and talking about not only why that is so important, but share with you a couple of my own personal

00:01:21.280 stories and tell you how you can actually incorporate the truth from yourself and from

00:01:27.480 other people to accomplish and achieve more in your life. I titled this one, The Truth Shall

00:01:33.160 Set You Free. And if you're feeling trapped or stuck or nonproductive, then I think it's the truth,

00:01:41.260 the honest evaluation of where you stand that will help you propel to the next place in your life.

00:01:48.060 Now, before I get into that, I just want to mention my friends and the show sponsors over

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00:02:36.260 not only for the utility of it, but also some self-defense. And if you want to get a special gift for the

00:02:41.640 woman in your life, this is a very low profile knife. It's a fixed blade, something that she 0.61

00:02:46.600 can use to protect herself. If she's on her own shopping or running or doing errands or doing

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00:02:57.980 she has something available to her. Check out the Speedgoat 2.0. And if you end up picking up a knife

00:03:02.500 at MontanaKnifeCompany.com, use the code ORDEROFMAN at checkout. All right, guys, let's get into this.

00:03:09.220 I want to start by sharing a story that I was reminded of the other day. This happened years

00:03:13.740 ago. I have a friend of mine. His name is Jordan Harbinger. And many of you listening to this podcast

00:03:19.040 know Jordan, know of his podcast. He's a phenomenal podcaster. He's underrated. In fact, his interview

00:03:25.640 skills are among the best that I have ever heard. And I've learned a lot from him by listening to the

00:03:32.600 way that he interviews his guests, but also just our own personal interaction. And years ago,

00:03:37.560 before I really felt like I was hitting strides with Order of Man, I asked him if I could join him

00:03:42.800 on his podcast, which at the time was called Art of Charm. He's since gone on his own and he's now

00:03:49.100 running his own podcast called the Jordan Harbinger Show. So I asked if I could be on Art of Charm and he

00:03:54.540 said yes. And he made an exception for me because we were friends and we'd been talking. And so I came

00:03:59.280 on a show and we were having a conversation and I didn't really feel like the conversation was going

00:04:03.720 well. And clearly he didn't feel like it was going well. And he did something that was both

00:04:09.020 offensive at the time, but also very liberating and very helpful to me. And looking back on it now,

00:04:15.360 I'm actually very grateful for it. He stopped the conversation midway and he said, Hey, you know

00:04:19.460 what, Ryan, this conversation is not going very well. Like it doesn't seem like you have a direction

00:04:24.280 or points that you want to make. And so I'm not sure that we can even air this. And again,

00:04:29.240 it was very hard to hear that in the moment. And I did take a little bit of offense to it at the time.

00:04:34.220 I try to be as gracious as I could and understanding as I could, but I was offended. And because he was

00:04:38.820 telling me the truth and he knew what his audience wanted to hear. He knew that he wasn't getting it

00:04:43.780 from me and I wasn't as polished as maybe I could have been. And I could have been offended and I could

00:04:50.380 have probably argued with him or debated with him or questioned why he was doing that. All sorts of

00:04:57.620 things that we do as men. And instead I decided to take in a moment of clarity, the higher road.

00:05:01.820 And I said, Hey, you know what, Jordan, I'm sorry, you're not getting what you want.

00:05:05.520 Is there something that I can do better? Is there something that I can learn from this?

00:05:09.960 Something that I can improve upon and maybe we can do this in the future. And he said, yeah,

00:05:14.640 right. I think that you probably need to go back to the drawing board and re clarify your message,

00:05:19.480 maybe tighten it up a little bit. Maybe it's write a book and have some principles that you want to

00:05:24.060 share. And he gave me some really good, helpful pointers. And I was very disappointed at the time

00:05:29.460 that he didn't want to air the half of the podcast that we had done up to that point. And it was hard,

00:05:35.600 but I took what he said to heart. And I decided that I am going to tighten up my message. And I

00:05:40.400 decided to write a book and I wrote the book, Sovereignty, The Battle for the Hearts and Minds

00:05:44.240 of Men. And it's been very, very successful. And I reached back out to Jordan probably a year or so

00:05:51.740 later after I had written the book. And I said to Jordan, and we had talked in the meantime,

00:05:55.600 but I said to him, Hey, you told me to tighten up a message. You told me to write a book and then to

00:06:03.080 revisit. And that's what I did. I think he was a little surprised. I think he was a little taken

00:06:07.300 back that I had number one, done it. And number two, had the audacity and the balls to ask him to

00:06:11.880 be back on the podcast. So I gave him a copy of my book and he read it and prepped for the interview.

00:06:17.220 And I joined him for a conversation on the Art of Charm podcast, which again,

00:06:20.700 now is the Jordan Harbinger show. And we had an amazing conversation about the book and about the

00:06:28.740 outline and it was very structured. And I had a lot to share based on some research I had done.

00:06:34.460 It was significantly better. And he was glad that I was able to reach back out to him. He was very

00:06:40.300 surprised that I fell through or followed through with what we had talked about. But I think the point

00:06:47.180 here that I wanted to share with you is that even though other people are going to be honest with

00:06:51.980 you, and at times you're going to be required to be honest with yourself, and it's not going to feel

00:06:56.240 good and it's going to hurt and it's going to sting and it's going to be awkward. It's going to be

00:06:59.560 uncomfortable is that the truth is powerful. You cannot improve your life unless you're willing to

00:07:06.500 objectively look at your own life and identify where you're falling short, where you need improvement,

00:07:12.620 how you can get better, and then having people be honest with you. And I'm going to talk about

00:07:17.560 five points that I think will help you on this truthful journey so that you can improve.

00:07:22.780 But I would have you consider that maybe the reason you don't have what you want to have in life,

00:07:27.040 whether it's your relationship or the body and the physique that you're looking for,

00:07:31.120 or the bank account that you desire, or the vacations or life that you dream of,

00:07:36.100 is you might not be being honest with yourself. So let's talk about five things that you can do and

00:07:45.200 you can incorporate mindsets, principles, beliefs, and tactics that will help you be honest,

00:07:50.920 which will ultimately drive results. Number one, you have to make a commitment to the truth,

00:07:57.100 regardless of how painful. It is in our DNA and it is in our nature to run away, to avoid,

00:08:04.460 to hide from confrontation, from difficulty, from challenge, from hard conversations,

00:08:10.760 from exposure, from vulnerability. And I'm using the word vulnerability in the right context.

00:08:16.400 We don't want to expose ourselves to unnecessary risk. And so at times we'll pull the wool over our

00:08:21.880 eyes and tell ourselves, yeah, I know I'm not healthy, but it's not that bad. Yeah. I know the

00:08:27.920 relationship that I'm having with my wife is in a real rut right now, but we'll get through it.

00:08:32.260 Yeah. I know work isn't going that well, but this is just a season. It will get better.

00:08:37.180 Those are all methodologies or even tactics and mindsets that you and I are using and deploying

00:08:43.180 in our everyday life to keep us safe, comfortable, and secure. It's our job at the baseline biological

00:08:52.200 level to maintain, to survive, to pass down our DNA. And everything above and beyond that is gravy.

00:09:01.800 It's just bonus. It's extra. And so we're trying to survive. We're these super efficient,

00:09:09.540 sophisticated biological machines. And yet in our DNA and in our minds at the base level,

00:09:16.480 we're just trying to survive. That's it. How can I pass down my DNA to my posterity? It's not going

00:09:27.160 to produce the ultimate desire that you want. We have to elevate ourselves. And in order to do that,

00:09:33.720 you have to be willing to commit yourself, even if it's painful, especially if it's painful,

00:09:38.740 especially if it's difficult and uncomfortable, you have to commit to being an honest individual.

00:09:43.840 That's what I want in my life. I want to be honest and truthful about the things I'm doing well,

00:09:48.760 sure, but also my shortcomings so that I can make those better and I can improve in my life and I can

00:09:54.440 improve the people around me. Number two, I want you to begin to quantify your results. Most of us,

00:10:01.620 and I've done this too, will bury our heads in the sand and tell ourselves, yeah, I'm good. I'm good.

00:10:07.620 I don't want to look at that. I'm good. And so we don't look at it. What don't we look at? Well,

00:10:11.400 when's the last time you jumped on a scale? For those of you who are in shape, you don't have

00:10:15.680 any problem jumping on the scale because you know you're locked in. But if you know even deep down

00:10:21.500 inside of you that you're 10, 20, 30, 50, 100 pounds overweight, you don't want to jump on that

00:10:28.420 scale. How many of you are willing to look at your bank account? Those of you who are financially

00:10:33.560 successful have no problem looking at your bank account. I'll pull up my bank account all day long.

00:10:37.580 I don't care. I don't have any debt. I stay within my budget. I've got investments. I've

00:10:42.600 got businesses. I've got real estate. I've gotten a nest egg set aside. Tell me to pull up my account.

00:10:48.120 I have no issue with that. But some of you do because you know how much debt you're in.

00:10:53.360 You know that you're in the negative. You know that you're living paycheck to paycheck. And so

00:10:59.440 rather than actually address it like a man would address it, you're not even willing to look at it

00:11:03.940 because you know how bad it is. How many of you know, at least on some intuitive level,

00:11:09.900 that your relationship is struggling, that the communication between you and your wife is hurting,

00:11:15.440 that she's not engaged as much as she's been in the past, that you're not as engaged as you've been

00:11:21.380 in the past, that you guys haven't had conversations, that you're not going on dates,

00:11:25.300 that you're not doing the things that you were doing when you were courting and dating and loving

00:11:28.580 on each other. You know that. And yet, are you willing to quantify it? When's the last time you

00:11:34.140 had sex? When's the last time you had a deep and meaningful conversation? I'm not talking about

00:11:38.560 what the kids had at cafeteria for lunch or what their school teacher said or any of that stuff.

00:11:44.040 I'm talking about a real deep, meaningful conversation about life and dreams and hopes

00:11:49.800 and goals and desires and fears. When's the last time that you felt really, really good about your

00:11:58.860 relationship? When's the last time you went on a date with her? And what did that look like? And

00:12:03.020 what did you do? Did you do the bare minimum or did you exceed her even wildest expectations and go

00:12:07.660 above and beyond? The point I'm making here, guys, is you've got to quantify how productive are you

00:12:14.740 really at work? If you can't look at your schedule and say, I've got a meeting. I did seven meetings

00:12:18.820 today. And here's the results of each of those meetings. And here's how they're progressing or

00:12:23.500 here's how they're not. And you can't look at that. Then you don't really know. You're guessing.

00:12:28.740 Now it's an educated guess. But what's happening is your emotion is clouding your decision-making

00:12:35.900 process. It's making you seem better than you really are. And we have a tremendous ability

00:12:41.320 to deceive ourselves, to fool, to trick ourselves into believing that everything's fine. Everything's safe.

00:12:47.400 We're okay. Well, you're not okay. And you intuitively know it. How do you know? Because

00:12:53.760 you're not happy. You're dissatisfied. You're disgruntled. You're frustrated. You're depressed.

00:13:00.620 You're anxious. You're suicidal even. Those are indicators that things aren't good for you.

00:13:06.920 And unless you're willing to look objectively at the metrics, at the results, at the effort,

00:13:12.500 then you're never going to improve. Number three, now that you've committed to telling the truth

00:13:17.640 and you're willing to quantify. So if you're worried about finances, guys, I need you to get

00:13:23.220 out a spreadsheet. I know it's not comfortable. I need you to do it. If you're worried about your

00:13:27.140 weight, I need you to jump on the scale. If you're worried about your business performance, I need you

00:13:31.220 to schedule a quarterly review with your boss. I've got to have you do that. I'll do it too. I am doing it.

00:13:37.320 I'm willing to look at our results. I'll tell you what, like in relationships, sometimes I'm like,

00:13:41.860 it's good. I don't want to address it. Or the growth of our podcast or bank account. When things

00:13:47.740 are struggling, I'm like, yeah, I think it's good. I don't want to look at it. And so I push it back.

00:13:51.640 I know this is what we do. Now that we've got that knocked out of the way, the next thing that we need

00:13:55.060 to do is we need to surround ourselves with truth tellers. And there are these truth tellers in

00:14:01.180 life. They're people who will tell you things that you need to hear. And if you're anything like

00:14:07.060 me, we tend to reject those people. We think they're being assholes. We think they're being

00:14:12.880 overly critical. We think that they're enemies, not allies. And one thing I've said in the past is

00:14:18.500 that not everyone who criticizes you is your enemy and not everyone who praises you is your ally.

00:14:26.820 So if we're talking about from enemies, not everybody who criticizes you guys is an enemy.

00:14:31.580 And there's people that I have in my life who I have a hard time hearing from at times because

00:14:36.120 they tell me things that are really, really uncomfortable. Now, as you achieve a level

00:14:42.000 of success in your life, you're going to start to acquire what I call bobbleheads. And these are

00:14:47.480 guys whose head goes like this, whatever you say up and down, if you're listening to this on audio,

00:14:52.720 not video, but whatever you say, their head is bobbing up and down. Yes, you're right. You're great.

00:14:58.660 You're wonderful. You have this all under control. You're doing a perfect job. I don't,

00:15:02.920 I can't have those people in my life. That's the default. Everybody will tell you how great you

00:15:08.300 are, except for on social media. Everybody will tell you how horrible you are. I'm talking about

00:15:12.220 in real life. People are going to surround and tell you things that make, make it sound like

00:15:17.680 you're doing better than you are. And then the people who come into your life, who, you know,

00:15:21.300 love and care about you, but say uncomfortable things, you're going to be repulsed and rejected by

00:15:25.740 and reject them. You're not going to want those people in your life because they make you feel

00:15:29.540 uncomfortable. They make you feel inferior. They point out your flaws. They highlight in you

00:15:35.900 what you could be doing, but what are not doing to improve your life. Those are the kind of people

00:15:42.000 that we need. Now, look, I'm not telling you, you need to have truth tellers who are a bunch of jerks 1.00

00:15:45.820 who are just going to beat you up and bash you for no good reason. But we do need truth tellers whose 0.94

00:15:51.060 motive is pure. And the motive is I love you. I care about you. I want you to win. I know you're

00:15:56.720 capable of more than what you're doing right now. I have a handful of people like that in my life.

00:16:02.280 It's hard. Every time I talk with them, I'm like, Ooh, I don't like what you just said. I don't like

00:16:07.660 that. I mean, I might not vocalize it, but I can feel it like, Oh, that one stings. That one hurts.

00:16:13.000 Take it easy. Leave me alone. That's the kind of people that we need in our lives. So when you're

00:16:19.280 around those people, the key there is not to diminish the type of individual and what they

00:16:27.660 mean to you in your life. And it's very easy to do that. You can cut them out completely.

00:16:32.080 You can defend yourself when they're telling you things. You can say things like, Oh, well,

00:16:37.880 you know, maybe you're right, but I don't like the way you said it. That might all be true, but we're

00:16:41.800 not going to diminish the people in our life like that because they're a value add. They are a tremendous,

00:16:47.060 tremendous asset. And when somebody gives you feedback or even criticism, even if it's delivered

00:16:53.500 in the poorest way possible, if you know, this person has your best interest at heart, your only

00:16:58.600 response should be. Thank you. Thank you for telling me the truth. Thank you for helping me see

00:17:04.860 that. Thank you for bringing to light something that I wasn't aware of. Thank you for expressing how

00:17:10.280 you feel. The more we can be grateful for those individuals, the more we give them permission to

00:17:15.380 continue to be honest and truthful with us that even though it's hard, again, will serve and help

00:17:21.680 us reap the benefits. Number four, and this ties in line with what I just said, guys, we cannot let

00:17:28.180 our emotions sabotage us. I believe that there's a proper place for our emotion. If you're angry or

00:17:34.040 frustrated or happy or glad or sad or mad, that's feedback. That's good information to have, but we

00:17:38.580 don't make decisions off of emotion alone. We just take it into consideration. So if you have a close

00:17:44.600 personal friend or a brother, let's say who shares with you something that is uncomfortable, that

00:17:50.100 doesn't feel good to hear, that highlights and illustrates your own personal inadequacies, but you

00:17:57.340 acknowledge it because you're looking for truth tellers, you acknowledge it to be true, don't let your

00:18:03.220 emotions sabotage it. Don't let anger let you lash out. Don't let fear keep you from confronting and

00:18:12.700 instead move you towards avoidance. Don't let the emotion get in the way. Just look at it as

00:18:18.500 objectively as possible. If your brother-in-law comes to you and says, Hey man, like you're getting a

00:18:22.640 little fat. Now, look, he could say that in a better way. Sure. Of course. But the question we

00:18:28.620 have to ask ourselves, is that true? And if you're packing on the pounds from the holiday season and you

00:18:36.540 haven't lost it yet and you're 10, 15, 20 pounds overweight, then it's true. And it really doesn't

00:18:42.120 matter how he delivered it. Now, sure. He has a responsibility of delivering it and communicating

00:18:46.960 effectively. We've talked about that in other podcasts, but for the sake of this conversation,

00:18:50.880 I'm just talking about receiving messages, not delivering them. And if it's true, then it's true.

00:18:57.980 Regardless of how you feel about it. Ben Shapiro says, facts don't care about your feelings.

00:19:02.420 If you're getting fat, it doesn't really matter how you feel about it. You're getting fat.

00:19:09.580 We can actually measure that. I can pinch your belly and I can feel that extra little roll that 0.99

00:19:14.100 shouldn't be there. And that's fat. That's objective. If you're making mistakes in your

00:19:21.480 relationship, for example, then somebody could say, Hey, bro, what are you doing? You're flirting

00:19:30.080 with this person or this waitress, or you're out drinking or whatever you're doing. You have a wife

00:19:35.940 and kids at home. I don't, what the hell's going on with you? You're going to get defensive. It doesn't

00:19:41.380 mean anything. You don't know. You don't know my life. You don't know my, you don't know what I'm

00:19:45.440 dealing with. That's emotion. Objectively, the answer is, you know what? Damn, you're right.

00:19:52.320 I do have somebody at home who loves me. I do have kids. I have a responsibility for.

00:19:58.560 I do care about my own personal health. So yeah, that was really hard to hear, but thank you for

00:20:04.240 telling me. Don't let our emotions sabotage. Sure. You're angry. Sure. You're mad, glad, happy, sad,

00:20:12.260 frustrated, greedy, jealous, whatever. You could experience that. Sure. But at the end of the day,

00:20:19.260 you have to ask yourself, is what's being shared with me or my own personal account of what's going

00:20:25.600 on, is it true and accurate? And if it is, then the emotion doesn't really matter. Yeah, you're fat.

00:20:31.940 Some of you guys are fat. I don't, I'm not trying to be mean, but that's the reality. And so

00:20:37.660 you need to know, like, if you don't already know, somebody needs to tell you.

00:20:43.380 If you're not working as hard as at work as you could be then, and I'm your friend and I care about

00:20:48.240 you and want you to win, then I got to tell you, Hey man, you're slacking at work. You're,

00:20:51.080 you're capable of way better quality than you just did. We used to have this when I was playing

00:20:57.100 sports. I never made it to the collegiate level, but in high school I had friends and I love these

00:21:01.380 guys. You know, we're friends. We're, we're athletes together. We, you know, we chase around

00:21:05.500 the same girls, you know, in high school and cheat off each other's tests and have each other's back 1.00

00:21:10.900 and get drunk together and get into stupid shit together. Like these are friends. These are guys

00:21:15.000 that I love. And if I messed up, you know, who I heard from those guys, they told me,

00:21:22.120 they didn't even bat an eye. They told me, Hey man, you dropped that ball and catch that next time.

00:21:26.340 What the hell? Or Hey, you missed that block or run harder. Like what tackle that guy. What are you

00:21:34.280 doing? You screwed up. We had that when we were kids, you know, if you're in the military or sports or

00:21:40.860 other programs with, with young men, you have that. But then when we get into the rest of life,

00:21:45.960 that is gone. Very few people are willing to do that. We need to cherish those people. Like we did

00:21:51.720 our teammates. Cause those people care about you. They love you. They want you to win.

00:21:56.400 All right. And the last point that I want to make right here is this one that I think might be the

00:22:00.760 hardest. It really might be the hardest. And this is point number five is you need to tell the truth

00:22:06.780 to other people. There might be some harsh truths in reality that family and friends need to hear

00:22:12.540 from you. And you need to be the one to say it. Now, to my point earlier, we can have some tact.

00:22:18.920 We can be empathetic. We can think about our delivery and the way we're communicating this.

00:22:23.800 But at the end of the day, if you have a friendship or in a family type relationship,

00:22:28.660 I believe that you have a responsibility to be honest with people. If you can't be honest,

00:22:36.860 what good is the relationship? That's what I want. That's what I want in my romantic relations.

00:22:43.640 I want, I want her to be honest with me. It's not comfortable if she says you're not doing as good

00:22:51.060 a job as you can be, or, Hey, stop sleeping in and get your butt into the gym or do better at work.

00:22:55.020 That's not comfortable. But if we can't do that for each other, then what's the point?

00:23:01.680 I don't, I don't know that there is one. I mean, there might be, but it's, it's surface level.

00:23:07.480 You know, maybe you're just trying to get laid or something, but that's not a real relationship.

00:23:12.320 I want a real relationship. One that is yes, sure. Physical, but also one in which we grow

00:23:19.700 together because I'm being honest with you in a respectful, empathetic way. And you're being honest

00:23:24.260 with me. And so if you have a friend in your circle, who's struggling because they're making

00:23:29.260 poor decisions, then it's your obligation because you're a friend, your obligation to tell that

00:23:35.360 person, Hey man, you're really screwing up. What is going on? What can I help? How can I help? What

00:23:43.320 can I do? If you have a coworker at work, who's not pulling his weight, like he used to, then reach out

00:23:49.980 to the guy and say, Hey man, like you used to be on top of your game, man. I remember six months ago,

00:23:55.120 you were killing it. You were at the top of the office. You were the best salesman. And now you're

00:24:00.240 in like last place. What's happened. What's going on? If somebody in your life is getting a little

00:24:06.900 overweight, maybe they let that holiday fat get to them. Then yeah, you need to say something.

00:24:12.980 I know it's not comfortable, but it's like, Hey, look, you could even be playful. Hey, I see you put on a

00:24:18.680 few pounds during the holidays. Like you want to come with me to the gym? Like, let's get that

00:24:22.140 stuff burned off. We can do this. Now I already know some of you listening to this are like, Oh no,

00:24:28.680 you should never do that. You should never make people feel bad. No, you should not to make them

00:24:33.920 feel bad, but to be honest with them so they can grow and develop that. Hey, don't make anybody feel

00:24:38.440 bad. Let's not be offensive. Let's walk on eggshells. That's a modern theory. That's a woke ideology.

00:24:44.280 Heaven forbid somebody be offended. I had somebody tell me the other day, I'm offended because of

00:24:50.760 something I said and something I thought, and they said they were offended. You know what? Be offended.

00:24:57.120 This is what I think. I'll work on my delivery. I'll work on how I communicate it with you,

00:25:02.640 but whether you're offended or not is not really my responsibility. Again, I'm going to try to deliver

00:25:08.600 it with clarity, with tact, with empathy and love. But if you're going to be offended by something,

00:25:13.640 be offended. Our grandfathers had to storm the beaches of Normandy and face bullets and death

00:25:20.680 and watch death and destruction and bloodshed all around them. And you're offended because somebody

00:25:25.440 said, Hey, it looks like you could lose a few pounds. Well, that's on you. We could all toughen

00:25:31.740 up a little bit and we could all be a little bit more truthful and honest. Again, disclaimer in empathetic,

00:25:37.620 kind, caring ways. This is not a permission slip to be a dick, by the way.

00:25:43.760 There's many people in this men's space who think that this is my truth. I'm just sharing my truth. 1.00

00:25:51.540 Fine. But that doesn't give you a permission slip to be an asshole to the people that you care about.

00:25:56.160 Do it tactfully. Do it respectfully. Do it with the right motive. And it might be a little harsh,

00:26:01.080 but you know what? That might be what the person needs. But again, it's not a permission slip

00:26:04.940 just to be a jerk to people. I think we can do better than that. And we should because we want

00:26:09.980 to influence people in positive and healthy directions. Now, the reason I brought that last

00:26:15.580 one up about being truthful with others is because if you're truthful with other people,

00:26:19.540 then you will inevitably respect truth yourself. If I go out of my way and put a relationship on the

00:26:28.140 line in order to be truthful with a brother who needs to hear something that when a brother says

00:26:32.740 something to me that needs to be said, I'm going to respect it more because I know how hard it is.

00:26:37.900 I know how uncomfortable it is. I know how much of a risk it is because I do it myself.

00:26:42.520 If we embody truth, then we will recognize, acknowledge, and honor when other people are

00:26:48.260 willing to be truthful with us. And guys, this is the only path forward. You can't come up with a

00:26:53.580 good strategy if you're not operating in reality. Imagine you're going to play a football game

00:26:59.640 against a team. Pick a team. I don't care. I don't really follow football that much,

00:27:03.660 but pick a team. What do guys do? Well, they study film and they study players and they study

00:27:08.700 their tendencies and they study their athletes and what they're good at and what they're not good at.

00:27:12.720 They're looking to exploit weaknesses and looking at to minimize their strengths. This is what you do.

00:27:17.260 But imagine you're going to go play the Seahawks, but instead of studying film for the Seahawks,

00:27:21.940 you study film for the Green Bay Packers. What's the point of that? You have to study

00:27:29.720 what's actually happening, what you're actually confronted with. And that's the truth.

00:27:33.940 You have to study for what you're actually dealing with. That is the reality of your situation,

00:27:38.600 your strengths, your weaknesses, your shortcomings, your vices. But the truth is what's going to set

00:27:43.960 you free. It's not comfortable. It's not pleasant. So if you want to be comfortable and pleasant,

00:27:48.540 don't tell me you're worried about self-development because you're not. If you want to be comfortable

00:27:52.420 and pleasant, go sit on the couch, play your PlayStation, watch your football games,

00:27:57.000 eat all the bonbons and chips and salsa, have people wait on you, show up for work at your

00:28:03.300 bare minimum, do the bare minimum, punch out exactly as you can. Don't take on extra shifts.

00:28:08.340 Don't take on projects. Never go to the gym. Do that. Keep doing that. But if you're here listening

00:28:13.380 to the Order of Man podcast, then you're interested in self-development, which means that you have to be

00:28:17.040 truthful and honest with yourself. All right. Enough with beating the dead horse.

00:28:22.400 Let me reiterate and then we'll close it out. Number one, you're going to commit to the truth

00:28:25.440 regardless of how painful it is. You're going to let people speak that into you. Number two,

00:28:30.100 you're going to quantify your results, get on the scale, pull up the bank account,

00:28:33.560 have the conversation with your wife, do the sales performance and review with your boss.

00:28:38.500 Number three, surround yourself with truth tellers, honor them, embrace them,

00:28:43.000 let them know and encourage them to be truthful with you. Number four, along the same

00:28:46.820 lines, don't let your emotions sabotage you when somebody actually tells you the truth.

00:28:51.320 If you're fat and they say you're fat, you can be mad about that. And maybe you should be mad

00:28:56.280 about that, but that's on you. It's the truth. It's objectively true. That's it. Period. End of

00:29:01.560 discussion. Facts don't care about your feelings. And then number five, begin to tell the truth to

00:29:06.140 others. You got to tell the truth and you got to commit to it. And that's what committing does is

00:29:11.420 I'm going to tell it to other people if they need to hear it. All right, guys, I hope that helps.

00:29:15.300 Let me know if there's anything else you would do or any other feedback. And also let me know if

00:29:19.100 there's people that you would like me to reach out to get on the podcast, because I'd be happy to

00:29:22.360 reach out to those individuals and have a really thought provoking, powerful conversation with

00:29:26.240 them. You can email me or message me on Instagram or Twitter at Ryan Michler, or email me at

00:29:32.620 Ryan at order of man.com. All right, you guys go out there, tell the truth, embrace the truth

00:29:38.900 and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:29:45.060 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:29:48.860 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - January 19, 2024

The Truth Shall Set You Free ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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