Order of Man - January 03, 2020


Top 10 Lessons of 2019 ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

33 minutes

Words per Minute

193.295

Word Count

6,398

Sentence Count

368

Hate Speech Sentences

4


Summary

In this episode, Ryan talks about the 10 lessons he learned in 2019 and why you can call yourself a man if you live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can be a man.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler,
00:00:27.540 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man.
00:00:32.560 I want to welcome you to the very first Friday Field Notes of 2020. As of this recording,
00:00:37.820 it's January 1st, and I think as of the release, I want to say it's the 3rd of January. So I hope
00:00:44.200 that things are well for you in the new year. We've got such an incredible, incredible mission
00:00:50.400 going on and goals and ambitions and aspirations for 2020, and I'm excited that you're going to
00:00:55.520 be joining us and banding with us in the fight to reclaim and restore masculinity. Now, I've got a
00:01:00.500 great one lined up for you today. I'm going to go through some lessons that I learned from 2019 that
00:01:05.400 I think were, well, they were valuable to me, and I hope they're going to be valuable to you
00:01:09.000 as you're trying to accomplish more in the walls of your home and in your business and community and
00:01:13.780 every other facet of life that you're showing up. Before I get into that, I do want to share with
00:01:19.520 you just a very quick announcement from my friends over at origin. You've heard me talk probably a lot
00:01:25.480 about them. That's because I believe in what they're doing. Over the past, I would say maybe
00:01:30.600 six weeks or so, I've gotten so many requests from companies and people who want me to sponsor their
00:01:37.660 products and their companies. And while I appreciate the offers and I'm flattered that so many people
00:01:43.360 want me to do that, I only work with companies that I know that I like, that I use their products,
00:01:48.920 that I'm friends with, that I have a deeper connection than just business with. And that's
00:01:53.080 certainly true of origin. I train with them jujitsu two to four days a week. And we hang out,
00:02:01.500 we spend time together. They're friends of mine, but these guys are known for their jeans, their boots,
00:02:07.840 their supplemental lineup partnered up with Jocko. And they had shared with me over the past couple of
00:02:12.860 weeks, how many of you are supporting them via this, uh, this podcast. So if you are interested
00:02:18.800 in their a hundred percent made in America boots, uh, their denim, their supplemental lineup with
00:02:24.180 Jocko, then go check it out at origin, main.com origin, main.com and use the code order O-R-D-E-R at
00:02:30.940 checkout for your discount there guys, 2020, excuse me, 2019 has been such an incredible year.
00:02:38.200 Oh, that's hard to talk about all of the changes. Remember all of the changes that have gone on in
00:02:44.080 my life over this timeframe, order of man continues to grow. And, and, uh, we see the download numbers
00:02:49.120 continue to rise, which is a testament to the work that we're doing here and, uh, and the fight to
00:02:54.300 reclaim and restore masculinity. Uh, we moved to Maine, my family and I moved across the country
00:02:59.740 about halfway through the year. And so this has been a big adjustment for me, uh, getting out here.
00:03:04.300 I've been involved in jujitsu. That's fairly new in 2019. There's just so much, so much going on.
00:03:10.040 And the overwhelming majority of it is positive and supportive from you guys. Uh, and I just want
00:03:15.600 to let you know that I appreciate you being on this path with me. Uh, you hold me accountable,
00:03:19.680 which is actually something I want to talk with you about today. One of the points I'm going to address,
00:03:23.200 but just want to let you know how much I appreciate you. And, uh, I'm looking forward to doing more
00:03:27.800 in 2020 with you. And, uh, hopefully the goal is for all of us to become more capable, better,
00:03:34.840 more qualified, stronger, more profitable, successful men. And that's what this podcast
00:03:39.620 is all about. So today, what I thought I'd do is share with you 10 lessons that I've learned.
00:03:45.640 Now I probably learned a lot more than 10, some the easy way, some the hard way, but these 10 definitely
00:03:51.300 stood out to me as being valuable, valuable lessons in 2019 and things that I'm going to continue
00:03:56.260 to build on as we move into 2020. So I made this post over on Instagram. Uh, a lot of guys resonated
00:04:02.380 with what I shared and I thought I'd delve into it a little bit deeper here in the podcast. Uh, by the
00:04:07.160 way, if you are interested in following along on Instagram, then head over there. And I am found at
00:04:11.980 Ryan Michler, M I C H L E R is my last name. That's how it's spelled. So at Ryan Michler,
00:04:17.500 and you can check it out over there. All right, let's get into the list. Number one, uh, I have missed
00:04:21.700 a lot of opportunities playing it safe. Uh, I've been relatively, uh, averse to risk. Um, I haven't
00:04:29.580 really been, uh, willing too much in most of my life to expose myself to any level of risk. I've
00:04:36.720 always played it safe. And as we moved across the country and made this bold move with my family and
00:04:42.240 I here to Maine, uh, that was a big risk for us. It's funny because I hear a lot of people say,
00:04:47.500 you know, I wish I could do that, but we've got school and we've got business and we've got these
00:04:51.420 obligations and we've got these friends almost as if I don't have those things guys. I took a lot
00:04:57.360 of risk in being out here. Uh, I left the house that my wife has wanted all of her life because
00:05:03.560 it's the one her grandfather built. Uh, we left the area, the only area that my children have ever
00:05:08.660 known. We've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars getting here, investing in the property,
00:05:12.960 purchasing the home. So there's a lot of risk that comes with us getting out here. And what I found
00:05:18.260 is that life isn't about avoiding risk. It's about taking healthy levels of risk and being
00:05:27.580 calculated about the risk that you're assuming. Now, yes, you have to do the cost benefit analysis
00:05:32.080 and see if the risk is worth the potential reward. But I'm telling you is that if you take
00:05:37.540 more risk and it's not about being dangerous or reckless, but if you take more levels of risk in
00:05:43.020 your life, I think you're going to set yourself up for more opportunities that would not present
00:05:47.420 themselves any other way. So be willing to look at saying yes to a few new things that maybe you
00:05:55.560 wouldn't have said yes to before. Be willing to be bold. I think the greater risk, if we're being
00:06:01.240 truthful about this is not actually chasing and pursuing the things that you're interested in.
00:06:07.140 It's living the status quo, everything you do and everything that you don't do carries a certain
00:06:12.180 amount of risk inside of that thing. So if you're maintaining the status quo, the default complacency,
00:06:18.460 then there's inherent risk inside of that as well. And maybe you're okay with that, but
00:06:22.640 I would be willing to bet that when we fast forward 30 or 40 years and you look back on your life,
00:06:28.440 you're not going to think that, Oh, I'm really glad I played it safe. You're probably going to regret
00:06:32.460 the choices that you could have made, the risk that you could have taken, the opportunities that could
00:06:37.920 have presented themselves. So number one for me is I'm not going to miss opportunities simply because
00:06:44.480 I'm afraid of the potential risk. I can recapture a lot of this stuff back now, if it's dangerous or
00:06:49.540 reckless, that's something different. But if there are opportunities that I'm a little uncomfortable
00:06:53.860 with or afraid of, it might be something worth pursuing, or at least looking into a little bit deeper.
00:06:59.100 Number two is 95% of the people who follow along here. And 95% of the people in my life in some
00:07:06.680 capacity are overwhelmingly supportive. And what I found is that it's 5% or maybe even less of the
00:07:14.680 people who want to hate on what we're doing, uh, who frankly are pretty miserable in their own life.
00:07:20.420 And they want to spill that over into what we're doing here with order of man or into my life.
00:07:25.580 And I think it's human nature, at least it has been for me to focus on the 5%, whether that's trying
00:07:31.700 to win them over or whether that's trying to shut them up, uh, or just engage with them in any level.
00:07:38.160 It's human nature to do that because we look for problems and we try to solve those problems. And so
00:07:43.400 I found in my life that that is futile. It's wasted effort. It's so much more profitable,
00:07:51.700 rewarding, uplifting, fulfilling to focus on the 95% of the people in your circle who are positive,
00:07:59.580 who support you, who believe in you, who want to see you succeed than it is to focus on the 5%.
00:08:05.000 And I haven't always got this right. I struggle with this. I engage with people. I probably shouldn't.
00:08:09.880 Uh, I keep people in my life who probably don't necessarily need to be there. I'm going to talk
00:08:14.380 about that in a, in a future point. Uh, but this is something that I've learned in 2019 and certainly
00:08:19.300 something that I'm going to be a little bit more vigilant about carrying into 2020 is being very,
00:08:24.220 very aware of where I focus my time, energy, and attention. And it's not going to be on the 5%.
00:08:30.340 It's going to be on the 95% of the people who are supportive and believe in what we do. Now,
00:08:35.160 I will say this as a disclaimer, I'm not suggesting that we don't be open and receptive to new ideas
00:08:40.220 and new input and potentially even constructive criticism, but there's a difference between a
00:08:45.280 dissenting voice, constructive criticism and being a dick or being a troll or hating on what it is we do.
00:08:51.760 And I'm not going to engage with that any longer. I just don't have the time or capacity or frankly,
00:08:56.360 the desire to do that. So focus on the 95%. Uh, number three, true friends aren't always
00:09:02.680 supposed to make you feel good about yourself. That is not the point of a friendship. Now,
00:09:07.080 sometimes that's going to happen. And certainly we want friends who edify us, who support us,
00:09:12.200 who uplift us, which kind of spills into point number two, but that's not really the objective
00:09:16.960 of a friendship. The objective of a friendship is to have an asset or resource in your life.
00:09:25.140 That's going to help you create a better life for yourself, which means in my experience that my best
00:09:30.480 friends are the ones who push me, who motivate me, who inspire me, who give me a poke, or maybe even a
00:09:35.760 little kick in the ass when I need it, because I'm not doing what I should be doing. Now that is not
00:09:40.600 always comfortable. It's not always easy. And it's not always pleasant. When you have somebody who's
00:09:45.560 pointing little holes and little flaws in a constructive way and coming from a position of
00:09:50.080 care and love, even, uh, it's not comfortable to hear that, which means that inside of a true
00:09:55.680 friendship, you're going to have tension. And if there is no tension in your relationships,
00:10:00.160 whether that's a relationship with a buddy or friend, a relationship with your spouse,
00:10:04.100 relationship with your kids, then I would suggest maybe that isn't really friendship at all.
00:10:09.100 Maybe it's just a relationship designed or constructed to stroke your ego or to make you feel good
00:10:14.780 about yourself. And if there is any sort of tension, then it somehow poses a threat to you.
00:10:19.700 Look for friends and friendships who will push you, who will hold your feet to the fire and say the
00:10:28.520 things that most other people won't, which again is going to be uncomfortable, awkward,
00:10:32.960 and potentially even painful. But the idea of a friendship is growth and you can't have growth
00:10:39.060 without a little bit of pain is my son and my first son and my second son grow and get older.
00:10:44.460 My oldest in particular is starting to have a little bit of growing pains in his knees and his
00:10:48.400 legs. That's part of the deal. If you want to grow, you've got to experience the pain of that
00:10:53.960 growth. And that means having people in your corner and they have to be in your corner who
00:10:58.720 want to see you win, but are willing to say the things and do the things that need to be said and
00:11:02.820 done in order to help you win. And fortunately for me, I found some of those people in my life.
00:11:07.780 I mentioned origin earlier, uh, origin, Pete Roberts, Brian Littlefield,
00:11:12.200 and most of the guys that I trained with at the gym are very much the same way. And that's a
00:11:17.620 powerful, powerful experience for me. I realize it's hard, uh, when you're trying to find like-minded
00:11:22.660 individuals, men in your life who want to push and propel you forward. I, frankly, I had to move
00:11:28.000 across the country to find a lot of that from Utah to Maine. And if I'd be lying, if I said that the
00:11:32.820 reason I, or at least that, that origin and Brian and Pete were here, wasn't a factor, uh, in, in,
00:11:40.020 in our decision to move, then like I said, I'd be lying to you. That was certainly a factor.
00:11:44.720 And I'm keenly aware of the friendships I have and how these people are pushing me.
00:11:48.300 Uh, number four, this has been very, very hard for me because, and I think it's hard for a lot
00:11:52.960 of high achievers, guys who want to thrive and who want to excel and want it done right.
00:11:57.620 Maybe even a little bit of a perfectionism syndrome, if you will, going on. Uh, we want to do it all.
00:12:04.340 And what I've realized is that I don't need to do it all. In fact, if I attempt to do it all,
00:12:10.660 it's going to be done poorly or not at all. I just need to ensure that everything gets done.
00:12:15.560 So there's certain things that I can do and that I'm uniquely qualified to do within my business and
00:12:20.540 within my family and within other facets of my life. The example I'd give you is the podcast,
00:12:26.000 right? This is something that can't be delegated, but I can delegate the podcast editing. Cody Lanham
00:12:31.020 does that for us. He does a great job with the videos and the audio. That's something that he
00:12:35.420 is qualified to do. He does a great job on it. And that frees up my time to be able to focus on
00:12:40.500 doing this podcast or other things that are a priority of mine. So I've really learned to some
00:12:46.020 degree, and I'm going to continue to develop this, to let go of some of the tasks and duties and
00:12:51.600 responsibilities that I shouldn't be doing, that I don't have a desire to be doing that aren't
00:12:56.020 fulfilling or rewarding to me and just ensuring that those things get done so that I can reach
00:13:02.200 more people, have a greater impact, live the kind of life that I want to live. And also when I was
00:13:07.920 doing it all and hoarding all of the responsibilities for myself, I limited the opportunities for other
00:13:15.280 individuals to step into some of these roles and really grow and Excel as well. So the art of
00:13:20.800 delegation is about becoming a better leader and helping other people step into some sort of
00:13:25.900 leadership capacity, even if it means they're just leading one element of the business or the family
00:13:30.920 or the household or any facet of life. So the art of delegation has become a very, very important for
00:13:38.100 me and an efficient way to not only run my life, but specifically run the business. Number five, I think
00:13:45.280 you guys have heard this a lot and maybe subscribe to it to some degree, but there is nothing that
00:13:50.420 we're entitled to. Everything that we want has to be earned. Now, specifically in the context of what
00:13:56.860 I'm talking about today, I'm talking about happiness. I'm talking about fulfillment. I'm
00:14:01.680 talking about even confidence. These are issues that, or topics that a lot of men who tune into what
00:14:07.520 we're doing here want. They want to be happy. They want to be satisfied. They want confidence in
00:14:11.600 themselves. They want to be fulfilled. And they think that it's just something that some men have,
00:14:16.920 or they're blessed with this healthy level of confidence. I don't believe that at all.
00:14:21.940 Everything that we want, including happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, joy, self-confidence
00:14:27.300 has to be earned. You're not entitled to it. I'm not entitled to it. Then how do we earn those things?
00:14:33.320 We earn it with and through the battles with our weaker, softer, more pathetic versions of ourself.
00:14:41.480 And trust me, that individual, the softer, weaker, more pathetic version of yourself and myself,
00:14:47.520 it rears its head at times. And it's our job to battle that individual and to do what we know we
00:14:54.360 should be doing. I've talked about it at length. It's the integrity gap. The integrity gap is what
00:14:59.560 you know you should be doing and what you're actually doing. And the greater that gap, the less
00:15:04.840 likely it is that you're going to have happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, self-confidence.
00:15:09.780 When you do the work required to bridge or narrow the distance between what, you know,
00:15:14.480 you should be doing and what you're actually doing. That's how you start to develop the
00:15:18.400 happiness and satisfaction that most men are after. You have to do the work. You have to earn
00:15:24.180 those things. You're certainly not entitled to it. Number six is I've been doing order of man now for
00:15:32.040 almost five years. And when I started, frankly, I didn't really have the idea or even thought
00:15:38.880 that it would grow into what it has grown into over the past five years. But as I've continued
00:15:44.660 to work on this and hone my skills and develop the mission and really find purpose, meaning and
00:15:49.980 satisfaction in the work I'm doing and ultimately plant my flag, bury that thing into the ground on
00:15:56.260 the Hill that I'm interested in fighting on, which is the battle to reclaim and restore masculinity.
00:16:00.740 It's really given me the strength, the grit, the fortitude. It's been a tool for me. Having this
00:16:09.520 like resolute objective has been a tool for me to overcome the hardships, the trials, the mock,
00:16:18.360 the mockery, the ridicule, uh, the things that I, the failures, the setbacks, everything that I have
00:16:23.380 to deal with in this business. And having a clear sense of focus and purpose and direction allows me
00:16:30.380 to weather that storm more effectively and more efficiently. I know there's a lot of men out
00:16:34.720 there who are really, really struggling with finding purpose and meaning in their life. And
00:16:40.480 because that's the case, they're just bounced around to and fro and they go with popular culture and
00:16:45.900 they don't have like this bedrock foundational knowledge of who they are and what they're supposed to be
00:16:52.000 doing and what their purpose is on earth. And therefore they're not grounded. Uh, they have
00:16:57.860 a difficult time focusing, maintaining a course of direction. Finding a purpose has been very,
00:17:05.200 very valuable for me. Now I won't, I'll give you a couple of pointers here. It's not like you can
00:17:10.640 just think about what your purpose is over the next 24 hours or week, or even 90 days, or maybe even a
00:17:17.780 year. And all of a sudden it's just going to miraculously come to you. This purpose that I'm
00:17:22.920 talking about has to be developed. That's why I don't like saying, finding your purpose. I would
00:17:28.040 say more developing, discovering, uncovering, articulating your purpose is probably a better
00:17:35.440 way to say it because to me, it represents an assertive role and going out and finding what you're
00:17:40.980 interested in. So how do you find it? You take one simple step into something that is intriguing or
00:17:46.860 fascinating to you. That's it. You don't have to solve the problem. You don't have to jump in head
00:17:51.740 first. You just need to take one simple step. If it's still intriguing and fascinating to you,
00:17:56.820 take the second step, then the third step, then the fourth step, then the fifth step and so on.
00:18:01.800 And that's exactly what I did with order of man. I didn't jump in head first. I had this other
00:18:05.980 financial planning practice and I gradually eased into the podcast and then eased into creating
00:18:10.780 products and eased into, uh, making merchandise available. And then eventually started doing
00:18:16.180 events. This wasn't all at once. You have to develop this through consistent, repetitive action,
00:18:23.140 taking those small steps. And over time you will again, articulate what your purpose on this planet is
00:18:29.540 number seven. This is something that ton of guys get hung up on is impressing other individuals.
00:18:37.200 I learned for myself and I spent significantly more time in 2019 impressing, worrying about impressing
00:18:46.000 other people less and significantly more time worrying about impressing myself. This goes back to
00:18:52.440 developing self-confidence. If you can impress yourself by winning victories over things that
00:18:59.500 you didn't think you could previously do, you will develop confidence. You would develop that
00:19:04.800 X factor. You would develop a strong sense of, of purpose and focus and clarity and who you are,
00:19:12.300 but you have to be willing to impress yourself. You have to be willing to throw yourself into the
00:19:19.620 arena as a, as a little hat tip to Theodore Roosevelt. You have to be willing to do that work
00:19:26.240 that you don't think you can do. And that requires courage that requires, excuse me,
00:19:31.880 requires maybe some level of ego because you're doing something he didn't think you could previously
00:19:37.900 do. So what gives you the right to believe you could, but the more that you win victories over
00:19:42.860 things that you didn't think you could do previously, the better off you're going to be.
00:19:47.080 So stop trying to impress other people. Stop worrying about getting other people to like you
00:19:52.240 and worry about getting you to like you. Now, interestingly enough, when you find ways to
00:19:59.440 like yourself by winning some of these victories and these battles, I'm talking about more people
00:20:05.080 will like you, but that's just a result of the confidence that you're going to develop.
00:20:10.720 It's not the goal in and of itself. So if you find yourself trying to impress other people,
00:20:15.980 turn that around and worry about impressing yourself. And again, more people are going to be
00:20:22.040 attracted and drawn to you because you represent this level of confidence that maybe they would
00:20:27.080 like to have in their lives. Something they see in you that, that gives them faith because you have
00:20:33.080 some credibility and authority as, as you succeed and thrive in your life and press yourself. The rest
00:20:38.840 will work. All right. Number eight jujitsu. Now I'm not going to get through a podcast, of course,
00:20:46.620 without talking a little bit about jujitsu, it seems like, and I don't mean to beat a dead horse here,
00:20:51.360 but in 2019 jujitsu became a very, very big part of my life. And there's a lot of reasons for that.
00:20:57.380 It's the brotherhood, it's the camaraderie, it's the learning, the growing, the making myself more
00:21:02.260 capable. And ultimately what I found is that jujitsu is a metaphor for life. That's why I talk about it
00:21:08.740 so much is because there's so many parallels in what I learned in the practice of jujitsu that
00:21:14.240 translate perfectly into how I run my business or how I conduct myself with my wife and kids,
00:21:19.320 or how I run this, this podcast and communicate with you and the ideas that I have and how I worry
00:21:24.860 about my fitness. Everything is related. So not only has it made me stronger and more capable,
00:21:30.980 it's just made me a better human being. So I would highly, highly suggest that you get involved in
00:21:37.660 martial arts. I recommend jujitsu. People ask, what should I get into? Well, I do jujitsu. So I would
00:21:42.700 recommend jujitsu, but if it's something else and you feel inclined to, to box or to do MMA or wrestling
00:21:48.600 or Muay Thai or whatever your thing is, then cool, do it. I'm sure there's lessons there as well. But
00:21:53.900 the key for me is finding something that has been good and healthy and productive for me. Plus it
00:21:59.180 allows me to burn off some, some physicality. I mean, we have physical needs, right? Of course,
00:22:04.880 intimacy, but also just being strong and aggression and potentially even violence to a degree. I know
00:22:12.960 some people don't like that term, but that's ultimately what it is. It's controlled violence.
00:22:17.240 It's the ability to do harm to another individual, but having the control, not to have to utilize it
00:22:23.500 or not to feel like you need to do that in every encounter you may run across. So jujitsu, it's
00:22:30.220 powerful. It's a good metaphor for life. And it's something that's very, very positive for men.
00:22:35.280 Number nine is I have a strong sense of who I am and who I'm supposed to be. And this hasn't been as
00:22:45.900 strong as it has in the past, but this year, 2019, that is, uh, I've really spent a lot of time via
00:22:53.300 our battle plan and the vision that I have for myself on knowing what is my ultimate role and
00:22:57.720 objective. Now, when I tell you guys, and I think it's actually on my hat that we as men are to be
00:23:03.500 protectors, providers, and presiders, that's not just a clever tagline for me. That is something that
00:23:09.580 I'm deeply committed to that. I'm deeply vested in that I am trying to become myself. And of course,
00:23:15.600 equip myself with the tools to be able to do just that. And because I know that's what I am meant to
00:23:21.660 be, I can measure all of my action or inaction against that metric is what I'm going to do right
00:23:29.920 now. For example, this podcast, is this helping me be a better protector provider presider? Well,
00:23:35.980 of course it is. I'm leading. I'm helping you learn new things that might apply to you and might
00:23:40.380 help you in your life. So yes, I can check that box off. If I'm going to jujitsu, is that helping
00:23:46.160 me be a better protector provider presider? Of course, obviously protector, because I'm making
00:23:50.940 myself more capable, but I'm learning all these other life lessons as well. If I'm playing with my
00:23:56.820 kids after work one day, am I being a better protector provider presider in that capacity? Of course.
00:24:02.980 So I take all of my actions and of course inactions and even the choices that I'm faced with on a daily
00:24:09.860 basis. And I measure it against who I am and who I have the potential to become, which is a very clear
00:24:17.280 vision of this ideal protector provider presider. Now I don't always get it right. I don't always get
00:24:23.380 it perfect, but having a heading, having a bearing and knowing which way I'm going so that I can measure
00:24:30.740 which trail I should take when I come to a fork in the road, or I come to a choice that I need to
00:24:36.660 make has been a very powerful tool for me to stay on the path that I want to stay on.
00:24:44.460 And I would suggest that you find that out for yourself. Now, if it's a protector provider presider,
00:24:49.360 like I've suggested to you, use that own that, figure out what that means to you. Start writing it
00:24:55.200 down and documenting and journaling about what that is. If it's something different, great. Use whatever it is
00:25:00.480 for you. Use whatever motivates you use whatever heading you need to keep you on the path that you
00:25:05.300 have a desire to go. And number 10 is that there are lots of eyes on me. And I realized that in 2019,
00:25:14.720 that of course that continues to grow through social media presence, but I'm not just talking
00:25:19.600 about social media. I'm talking about my children, talking about my wife. I'm talking about the friends
00:25:25.760 that I have, and even casual acquaintances that I have here in this local area. And of course I'm
00:25:30.960 talking about you followers and listeners and viewers and people who are tuned in and plugged
00:25:36.060 into what we're doing in this battle and in this mission. And because all of those eyes are on me,
00:25:42.060 it's been a great source of accountability in my life. And knowing that my words and my thoughts and
00:25:51.340 actions and behaviors are influencing other people for better or worse is what I do is influential.
00:26:00.060 Same thing for you, what you're doing or what you're not doing is influential in people's lives.
00:26:05.740 Knowing that and having that on my mind gives me the, the power, I guess that's how I'd say it, the power to
00:26:15.580 make good choices. Yes. Internal motivation is hugely important. That's why I talked about in
00:26:22.780 number nine is having a clear sense of who I am, but there's external support and external
00:26:29.500 metrics that you can use and having people who are holding me accountable because I realize that
00:26:34.540 they're watching me has been a valuable source of accountability and a valuable source of
00:26:39.820 inspiration, if you will, for doing the right thing. So I would ask for you is who do you have
00:26:45.660 in your life? Who is watching you? Is it kids? Is it your wife? Is it colleagues and coworkers and
00:26:50.860 neighbors? Do you have a movement similar to what we're doing here or different, uh, that,
00:26:55.020 that other people are watching you and does your behavior influence those individuals who are choosing
00:27:01.660 to be influenced by you? Does it help them or does it hinder them? And you can't not be influential
00:27:08.460 in those people's lives. You can't not be influential in your kids' eyes. Even if you're
00:27:13.340 not there, you've that decision, not be present is going to influence them negatively in a lot of cases,
00:27:19.900 or potentially even positively knowing they don't want to be like that, but think about who you are.
00:27:26.140 Think about how you're showing up and think about how people are perceiving that because that's going
00:27:30.940 to help you stay on the path that you have a desire to stay on. And then I wrote up one other here.
00:27:35.660 So I did 10 and then I was thinking about a little bit more on Instagram. Again,
00:27:39.260 you can check that at Ryan Michler on Instagram, really trying to, to, uh, grow over there.
00:27:44.140 And so I was thinking about it and I wrote another one down in the comments.
00:27:47.020 This is number 11. So this is a bonus. All right. Is that you're not obligated or I'm in my case,
00:27:53.260 I'm not obligated to keep everybody in my life. I'm not, there's going to be people that stay.
00:27:58.780 There's going to be people that go. Uh, but ultimately it's my job to surround myself with
00:28:04.300 winners, surround myself with people who edify me, who uplift me, who push me, who motivate me,
00:28:09.900 who inspire me. And those people who are more interested in dragging me down or pulling me down,
00:28:17.900 or maybe it's even, it's not that devious, but they just don't enhance my life. They detract from it.
00:28:22.700 I'm not obligated to keep those people in my life. I'm not, I'm obligated to be intentional
00:28:28.380 and deliberate about who's in my circle and how they're influencing me. When I have the right people
00:28:33.660 in my corner, I can then go out and produce better results for myself and better results
00:28:38.380 for the people that I care about. You, my wife, my kids, and my friends, everybody that I seem to be
00:28:44.460 working with in some capacity. So inventory your circle and ask yourself who deserves to be here.
00:28:51.660 And frankly, who doesn't? And I know that's not a popular thought in a lot of ways, because people
00:28:55.740 will say things like, well, you know, what about those who are less fortunate? What about those who
00:28:59.900 need help? Absolutely. And I do my best to help those people. Uh, I do my best to put information
00:29:06.220 out there. That's going to be beneficial to them. I donate to charity. There's a lot of things I do,
00:29:11.180 but that doesn't necessarily mean that those individuals are in my inner circle. And that's the
00:29:15.420 distinction. There's people who are in my circle who I want to be there. I'm intentional,
00:29:19.900 intentional and deliberate about who that is. And then there's other people who maybe I don't
00:29:23.660 need them in my circle, but I still feel like I have the obligation to serve in some capacity.
00:29:28.460 And I do that from arm's length. It's very, very important. And that was my, uh,
00:29:33.820 my bonus lesson. So guys, there's the 11 lessons that I learned in 2019. Now, of course,
00:29:41.580 that's not the only 11 things that I learned, but those are the most glaring, the most obvious that
00:29:46.540 stood out as I was trying to share some insights with you. Uh, I would love to hear what you learned
00:29:50.860 in 2019. If you're on YouTube watching this, uh, you can drop those in the comments.
00:29:56.060 If you're not on YouTube watching this, then head to youtube.com slash order of man.
00:30:00.300 And you can, uh, subscribe if you would think we're at 106 or 107,000 subscribers now,
00:30:06.060 which is crazy. It's really, really taken off on YouTube. Uh, other than that, connect with me on
00:30:11.020 Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, all at Ryan Mickler. And we'll continue the conversation there. Let me
00:30:16.700 go through these real quick and then we'll call it a day. Uh, number one is a lot of missed
00:30:21.900 opportunities because I was playing it safe. So I took new levels of risk in 2019. Number two is 95%
00:30:28.060 of the people are going to support me five or less percent are not going to it's human nature to focus
00:30:33.740 on the five. We ought to spend more time focusing on the 95. Uh, number three, true friends aren't simply
00:30:39.740 supposed to make you feel good about yourself or stroke your ego. Sometimes friendships are going
00:30:43.980 to be challenging and tough as they should be. As long as that person's in your corner and believes
00:30:48.780 in you supports you, that's good. But you want people who are going to tell you the things that
00:30:52.940 need to be told and say the things that need to be said and do the things that need to be done.
00:30:56.940 Uh, number four is I don't have to do everything. I just need to ensure that those things get done.
00:31:01.900 So the art of delegation was big for me in 2019. Uh, number five, I'm not entitled to happiness,
00:31:07.340 fulfillment, satisfaction, self-confidence. All of those have to be earned through victories with
00:31:12.860 the weaker, softer, more pathetic version of myself. Uh, number six is finding a purposeful mission
00:31:20.460 keeps me grounded and allows me to withstand the, the trials and obstacles and hurdles that come up
00:31:27.740 as I'm running this business and living my life. Number seven, I spent significantly less time
00:31:32.540 impressing others and more time worrying about impressing myself. Number eight, jujitsu.
00:31:37.420 I've talked about that at length. Number nine, I have a strong sense of who I am and heading on which
00:31:41.660 I want to travel. Uh, that's the protector provider presider that I'm trying to become.
00:31:46.220 Uh, number 10 is that there's a lot of eyes on me, you, my wife, my kids, neighbors,
00:31:52.540 people that I care about. And that holds me accountable to do the things that I want to do.
00:31:57.260 Uh, and then number 11 is I'm not obligated to keep everybody in my life. So I'm very deliberate,
00:32:03.900 intentional about who that is. So there it is guys. Let's make 2020 the best year of your life.
00:32:10.300 You can join us inside of our Facebook group. You can follow me, follow me on Facebook,
00:32:13.900 Twitter, and Instagram at Ryan Michler. You can check us out on YouTube. You can do all the things.
00:32:19.260 Let's continue to grow this, blow this out of the water. The world needs this mission more than ever.
00:32:23.820 And I'm so glad to be in this battle. I'm glad that you've decided to be in this battle to some
00:32:29.020 degree as well. We need more men in the fight. So I'd ask as we part to share, to comment, to leave
00:32:35.980 a review on iTunes for the podcast, do whatever you can to continue to grow this movement. And I really
00:32:41.020 appreciate the help and support our guests. We'll be back for another interview. I've got some special
00:32:45.420 guests coming up for the first couple of weeks of 2020. Make sure you subscribe. So you never miss
00:32:50.060 a podcast. We'll be back next week. Until then, go out there, take action, and become the man you are
00:32:55.420 meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your
00:33:00.220 life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.