Order of Man - Top 10 Lessons of 2019 ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler,

00:00:27.540 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man.

00:00:32.560 I want to welcome you to the very first Friday Field Notes of 2020. As of this recording,

00:00:37.820 it's January 1st, and I think as of the release, I want to say it's the 3rd of January. So I hope

00:00:44.200 that things are well for you in the new year. We've got such an incredible, incredible mission

00:00:50.400 going on and goals and ambitions and aspirations for 2020, and I'm excited that you're going to

00:00:55.520 be joining us and banding with us in the fight to reclaim and restore masculinity. Now, I've got a

00:01:00.500 great one lined up for you today. I'm going to go through some lessons that I learned from 2019 that

00:01:05.400 I think were, well, they were valuable to me, and I hope they're going to be valuable to you

00:01:09.000 as you're trying to accomplish more in the walls of your home and in your business and community and

00:01:13.780 every other facet of life that you're showing up. Before I get into that, I do want to share with

00:01:19.520 you just a very quick announcement from my friends over at origin. You've heard me talk probably a lot

00:01:25.480 about them. That's because I believe in what they're doing. Over the past, I would say maybe

00:01:30.600 six weeks or so, I've gotten so many requests from companies and people who want me to sponsor their

00:01:37.660 products and their companies. And while I appreciate the offers and I'm flattered that so many people

00:01:43.360 want me to do that, I only work with companies that I know that I like, that I use their products,

00:01:48.920 that I'm friends with, that I have a deeper connection than just business with. And that's

00:01:53.080 certainly true of origin. I train with them jujitsu two to four days a week. And we hang out,

00:02:01.500 we spend time together. They're friends of mine, but these guys are known for their jeans, their boots,

00:02:07.840 their supplemental lineup partnered up with Jocko. And they had shared with me over the past couple of

00:02:12.860 weeks, how many of you are supporting them via this, uh, this podcast. So if you are interested

00:02:18.800 in their a hundred percent made in America boots, uh, their denim, their supplemental lineup with

00:02:24.180 Jocko, then go check it out at origin, main.com origin, main.com and use the code order O-R-D-E-R at

00:02:30.940 checkout for your discount there guys, 2020, excuse me, 2019 has been such an incredible year.

00:02:38.200 Oh, that's hard to talk about all of the changes. Remember all of the changes that have gone on in

00:02:44.080 my life over this timeframe, order of man continues to grow. And, and, uh, we see the download numbers

00:02:49.120 continue to rise, which is a testament to the work that we're doing here and, uh, and the fight to

00:02:54.300 reclaim and restore masculinity. Uh, we moved to Maine, my family and I moved across the country

00:02:59.740 about halfway through the year. And so this has been a big adjustment for me, uh, getting out here.

00:03:04.300 I've been involved in jujitsu. That's fairly new in 2019. There's just so much, so much going on.

00:03:10.040 And the overwhelming majority of it is positive and supportive from you guys. Uh, and I just want

00:03:15.600 to let you know that I appreciate you being on this path with me. Uh, you hold me accountable,

00:03:19.680 which is actually something I want to talk with you about today. One of the points I'm going to address,

00:03:23.200 but just want to let you know how much I appreciate you. And, uh, I'm looking forward to doing more

00:03:27.800 in 2020 with you. And, uh, hopefully the goal is for all of us to become more capable, better,

00:03:34.840 more qualified, stronger, more profitable, successful men. And that's what this podcast

00:03:39.620 is all about. So today, what I thought I'd do is share with you 10 lessons that I've learned.

00:03:45.640 Now I probably learned a lot more than 10, some the easy way, some the hard way, but these 10 definitely

00:03:51.300 stood out to me as being valuable, valuable lessons in 2019 and things that I'm going to continue

00:03:56.260 to build on as we move into 2020. So I made this post over on Instagram. Uh, a lot of guys resonated

00:04:02.380 with what I shared and I thought I'd delve into it a little bit deeper here in the podcast. Uh, by the

00:04:07.160 way, if you are interested in following along on Instagram, then head over there. And I am found at

00:04:11.980 Ryan Michler, M I C H L E R is my last name. That's how it's spelled. So at Ryan Michler,

00:04:17.500 and you can check it out over there. All right, let's get into the list. Number one, uh, I have missed

00:04:21.700 a lot of opportunities playing it safe. Uh, I've been relatively, uh, averse to risk. Um, I haven't

00:04:29.580 really been, uh, willing too much in most of my life to expose myself to any level of risk. I've

00:04:36.720 always played it safe. And as we moved across the country and made this bold move with my family and

00:04:42.240 I here to Maine, uh, that was a big risk for us. It's funny because I hear a lot of people say,

00:04:47.500 you know, I wish I could do that, but we've got school and we've got business and we've got these

00:04:51.420 obligations and we've got these friends almost as if I don't have those things guys. I took a lot

00:04:57.360 of risk in being out here. Uh, I left the house that my wife has wanted all of her life because

00:05:03.560 it's the one her grandfather built. Uh, we left the area, the only area that my children have ever

00:05:08.660 known. We've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars getting here, investing in the property,

00:05:12.960 purchasing the home. So there's a lot of risk that comes with us getting out here. And what I found

00:05:18.260 is that life isn't about avoiding risk. It's about taking healthy levels of risk and being

00:05:27.580 calculated about the risk that you're assuming. Now, yes, you have to do the cost benefit analysis

00:05:32.080 and see if the risk is worth the potential reward. But I'm telling you is that if you take

00:05:37.540 more risk and it's not about being dangerous or reckless, but if you take more levels of risk in

00:05:43.020 your life, I think you're going to set yourself up for more opportunities that would not present

00:05:47.420 themselves any other way. So be willing to look at saying yes to a few new things that maybe you

00:05:55.560 wouldn't have said yes to before. Be willing to be bold. I think the greater risk, if we're being

00:06:01.240 truthful about this is not actually chasing and pursuing the things that you're interested in.

00:06:07.140 It's living the status quo, everything you do and everything that you don't do carries a certain

00:06:12.180 amount of risk inside of that thing. So if you're maintaining the status quo, the default complacency,

00:06:18.460 then there's inherent risk inside of that as well. And maybe you're okay with that, but

00:06:22.640 I would be willing to bet that when we fast forward 30 or 40 years and you look back on your life,

00:06:28.440 you're not going to think that, Oh, I'm really glad I played it safe. You're probably going to regret

00:06:32.460 the choices that you could have made, the risk that you could have taken, the opportunities that could

00:06:37.920 have presented themselves. So number one for me is I'm not going to miss opportunities simply because

00:06:44.480 I'm afraid of the potential risk. I can recapture a lot of this stuff back now, if it's dangerous or

00:06:49.540 reckless, that's something different. But if there are opportunities that I'm a little uncomfortable

00:06:53.860 with or afraid of, it might be something worth pursuing, or at least looking into a little bit deeper.

00:06:59.100 Number two is 95% of the people who follow along here. And 95% of the people in my life in some

00:07:06.680 capacity are overwhelmingly supportive. And what I found is that it's 5% or maybe even less of the

00:07:14.680 people who want to hate on what we're doing, uh, who frankly are pretty miserable in their own life.

00:07:20.420 And they want to spill that over into what we're doing here with order of man or into my life.

00:07:25.580 And I think it's human nature, at least it has been for me to focus on the 5%, whether that's trying 1.00

00:07:31.700 to win them over or whether that's trying to shut them up, uh, or just engage with them in any level.

00:07:38.160 It's human nature to do that because we look for problems and we try to solve those problems. And so

00:07:43.400 I found in my life that that is futile. It's wasted effort. It's so much more profitable,

00:07:51.700 rewarding, uplifting, fulfilling to focus on the 95% of the people in your circle who are positive,

00:07:59.580 who support you, who believe in you, who want to see you succeed than it is to focus on the 5%. 0.82

00:08:05.000 And I haven't always got this right. I struggle with this. I engage with people. I probably shouldn't.

00:08:09.880 Uh, I keep people in my life who probably don't necessarily need to be there. I'm going to talk

00:08:14.380 about that in a, in a future point. Uh, but this is something that I've learned in 2019 and certainly

00:08:19.300 something that I'm going to be a little bit more vigilant about carrying into 2020 is being very,

00:08:24.220 very aware of where I focus my time, energy, and attention. And it's not going to be on the 5%.

00:08:30.340 It's going to be on the 95% of the people who are supportive and believe in what we do. Now,

00:08:35.160 I will say this as a disclaimer, I'm not suggesting that we don't be open and receptive to new ideas

00:08:40.220 and new input and potentially even constructive criticism, but there's a difference between a

00:08:45.280 dissenting voice, constructive criticism and being a dick or being a troll or hating on what it is we do. 0.80

00:08:51.760 And I'm not going to engage with that any longer. I just don't have the time or capacity or frankly,

00:08:56.360 the desire to do that. So focus on the 95%. Uh, number three, true friends aren't always

00:09:02.680 supposed to make you feel good about yourself. That is not the point of a friendship. Now,

00:09:07.080 sometimes that's going to happen. And certainly we want friends who edify us, who support us,

00:09:12.200 who uplift us, which kind of spills into point number two, but that's not really the objective

00:09:16.960 of a friendship. The objective of a friendship is to have an asset or resource in your life.

00:09:25.140 That's going to help you create a better life for yourself, which means in my experience that my best

00:09:30.480 friends are the ones who push me, who motivate me, who inspire me, who give me a poke, or maybe even a 0.95

00:09:35.760 little kick in the ass when I need it, because I'm not doing what I should be doing. Now that is not 0.97

00:09:40.600 always comfortable. It's not always easy. And it's not always pleasant. When you have somebody who's

00:09:45.560 pointing little holes and little flaws in a constructive way and coming from a position of

00:09:50.080 care and love, even, uh, it's not comfortable to hear that, which means that inside of a true

00:09:55.680 friendship, you're going to have tension. And if there is no tension in your relationships,

00:10:00.160 whether that's a relationship with a buddy or friend, a relationship with your spouse,

00:10:04.100 relationship with your kids, then I would suggest maybe that isn't really friendship at all.

00:10:09.100 Maybe it's just a relationship designed or constructed to stroke your ego or to make you feel good

00:10:14.780 about yourself. And if there is any sort of tension, then it somehow poses a threat to you.

00:10:19.700 Look for friends and friendships who will push you, who will hold your feet to the fire and say the

00:10:28.520 things that most other people won't, which again is going to be uncomfortable, awkward,

00:10:32.960 and potentially even painful. But the idea of a friendship is growth and you can't have growth

00:10:39.060 without a little bit of pain is my son and my first son and my second son grow and get older.

00:10:44.460 My oldest in particular is starting to have a little bit of growing pains in his knees and his

00:10:48.400 legs. That's part of the deal. If you want to grow, you've got to experience the pain of that

00:10:53.960 growth. And that means having people in your corner and they have to be in your corner who

00:10:58.720 want to see you win, but are willing to say the things and do the things that need to be said and

00:11:02.820 done in order to help you win. And fortunately for me, I found some of those people in my life.

00:11:07.780 I mentioned origin earlier, uh, origin, Pete Roberts, Brian Littlefield,

00:11:12.200 and most of the guys that I trained with at the gym are very much the same way. And that's a

00:11:17.620 powerful, powerful experience for me. I realize it's hard, uh, when you're trying to find like-minded

00:11:22.660 individuals, men in your life who want to push and propel you forward. I, frankly, I had to move

00:11:28.000 across the country to find a lot of that from Utah to Maine. And if I'd be lying, if I said that the

00:11:32.820 reason I, or at least that, that origin and Brian and Pete were here, wasn't a factor, uh, in, in,

00:11:40.020 in our decision to move, then like I said, I'd be lying to you. That was certainly a factor.

00:11:44.720 And I'm keenly aware of the friendships I have and how these people are pushing me.

00:11:48.300 Uh, number four, this has been very, very hard for me because, and I think it's hard for a lot

00:11:52.960 of high achievers, guys who want to thrive and who want to excel and want it done right.

00:11:57.620 Maybe even a little bit of a perfectionism syndrome, if you will, going on. Uh, we want to do it all.

00:12:04.340 And what I've realized is that I don't need to do it all. In fact, if I attempt to do it all,

00:12:10.660 it's going to be done poorly or not at all. I just need to ensure that everything gets done.

00:12:15.560 So there's certain things that I can do and that I'm uniquely qualified to do within my business and

00:12:20.540 within my family and within other facets of my life. The example I'd give you is the podcast,

00:12:26.000 right? This is something that can't be delegated, but I can delegate the podcast editing. Cody Lanham

00:12:31.020 does that for us. He does a great job with the videos and the audio. That's something that he

00:12:35.420 is qualified to do. He does a great job on it. And that frees up my time to be able to focus on

00:12:40.500 doing this podcast or other things that are a priority of mine. So I've really learned to some

00:12:46.020 degree, and I'm going to continue to develop this, to let go of some of the tasks and duties and

00:12:51.600 responsibilities that I shouldn't be doing, that I don't have a desire to be doing that aren't

00:12:56.020 fulfilling or rewarding to me and just ensuring that those things get done so that I can reach

00:13:02.200 more people, have a greater impact, live the kind of life that I want to live. And also when I was

00:13:07.920 doing it all and hoarding all of the responsibilities for myself, I limited the opportunities for other

00:13:15.280 individuals to step into some of these roles and really grow and Excel as well. So the art of

00:13:20.800 delegation is about becoming a better leader and helping other people step into some sort of

00:13:25.900 leadership capacity, even if it means they're just leading one element of the business or the family

00:13:30.920 or the household or any facet of life. So the art of delegation has become a very, very important for

00:13:38.100 me and an efficient way to not only run my life, but specifically run the business. Number five, I think

00:13:45.280 you guys have heard this a lot and maybe subscribe to it to some degree, but there is nothing that

00:13:50.420 we're entitled to. Everything that we want has to be earned. Now, specifically in the context of what

00:13:56.860 I'm talking about today, I'm talking about happiness. I'm talking about fulfillment. I'm

00:14:01.680 talking about even confidence. These are issues that, or topics that a lot of men who tune into what

00:14:07.520 we're doing here want. They want to be happy. They want to be satisfied. They want confidence in

00:14:11.600 themselves. They want to be fulfilled. And they think that it's just something that some men have,

00:14:16.920 or they're blessed with this healthy level of confidence. I don't believe that at all.

00:14:21.940 Everything that we want, including happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, joy, self-confidence

00:14:27.300 has to be earned. You're not entitled to it. I'm not entitled to it. Then how do we earn those things?

00:14:33.320 We earn it with and through the battles with our weaker, softer, more pathetic versions of ourself. 0.98

00:14:41.480 And trust me, that individual, the softer, weaker, more pathetic version of yourself and myself, 0.98

00:14:47.520 it rears its head at times. And it's our job to battle that individual and to do what we know we 0.97

00:14:54.360 should be doing. I've talked about it at length. It's the integrity gap. The integrity gap is what

00:14:59.560 you know you should be doing and what you're actually doing. And the greater that gap, the less

00:15:04.840 likely it is that you're going to have happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, self-confidence.

00:15:09.780 When you do the work required to bridge or narrow the distance between what, you know,

00:15:14.480 you should be doing and what you're actually doing. That's how you start to develop the

00:15:18.400 happiness and satisfaction that most men are after. You have to do the work. You have to earn

00:15:24.180 those things. You're certainly not entitled to it. Number six is I've been doing order of man now for

00:15:32.040 almost five years. And when I started, frankly, I didn't really have the idea or even thought

00:15:38.880 that it would grow into what it has grown into over the past five years. But as I've continued

00:15:44.660 to work on this and hone my skills and develop the mission and really find purpose, meaning and

00:15:49.980 satisfaction in the work I'm doing and ultimately plant my flag, bury that thing into the ground on 0.82

00:15:56.260 the Hill that I'm interested in fighting on, which is the battle to reclaim and restore masculinity.

00:16:00.740 It's really given me the strength, the grit, the fortitude. It's been a tool for me. Having this

00:16:09.520 like resolute objective has been a tool for me to overcome the hardships, the trials, the mock,

00:16:18.360 the mockery, the ridicule, uh, the things that I, the failures, the setbacks, everything that I have

00:16:23.380 to deal with in this business. And having a clear sense of focus and purpose and direction allows me

00:16:30.380 to weather that storm more effectively and more efficiently. I know there's a lot of men out

00:16:34.720 there who are really, really struggling with finding purpose and meaning in their life. And

00:16:40.480 because that's the case, they're just bounced around to and fro and they go with popular culture and

00:16:45.900 they don't have like this bedrock foundational knowledge of who they are and what they're supposed to be

00:16:52.000 doing and what their purpose is on earth. And therefore they're not grounded. Uh, they have

00:16:57.860 a difficult time focusing, maintaining a course of direction. Finding a purpose has been very,

00:17:05.200 very valuable for me. Now I won't, I'll give you a couple of pointers here. It's not like you can

00:17:10.640 just think about what your purpose is over the next 24 hours or week, or even 90 days, or maybe even a

00:17:17.780 year. And all of a sudden it's just going to miraculously come to you. This purpose that I'm

00:17:22.920 talking about has to be developed. That's why I don't like saying, finding your purpose. I would

00:17:28.040 say more developing, discovering, uncovering, articulating your purpose is probably a better

00:17:35.440 way to say it because to me, it represents an assertive role and going out and finding what you're

00:17:40.980 interested in. So how do you find it? You take one simple step into something that is intriguing or

00:17:46.860 fascinating to you. That's it. You don't have to solve the problem. You don't have to jump in head

00:17:51.740 first. You just need to take one simple step. If it's still intriguing and fascinating to you,

00:17:56.820 take the second step, then the third step, then the fourth step, then the fifth step and so on.

00:18:01.800 And that's exactly what I did with order of man. I didn't jump in head first. I had this other

00:18:05.980 financial planning practice and I gradually eased into the podcast and then eased into creating

00:18:10.780 products and eased into, uh, making merchandise available. And then eventually started doing

00:18:16.180 events. This wasn't all at once. You have to develop this through consistent, repetitive action,

00:18:23.140 taking those small steps. And over time you will again, articulate what your purpose on this planet is

00:18:29.540 number seven. This is something that ton of guys get hung up on is impressing other individuals.

00:18:37.200 I learned for myself and I spent significantly more time in 2019 impressing, worrying about impressing

00:18:46.000 other people less and significantly more time worrying about impressing myself. This goes back to

00:18:52.440 developing self-confidence. If you can impress yourself by winning victories over things that

00:18:59.500 you didn't think you could previously do, you will develop confidence. You would develop that

00:19:04.800 X factor. You would develop a strong sense of, of purpose and focus and clarity and who you are,

00:19:12.300 but you have to be willing to impress yourself. You have to be willing to throw yourself into the

00:19:19.620 arena as a, as a little hat tip to Theodore Roosevelt. You have to be willing to do that work

00:19:26.240 that you don't think you can do. And that requires courage that requires, excuse me,

00:19:31.880 requires maybe some level of ego because you're doing something he didn't think you could previously

00:19:37.900 do. So what gives you the right to believe you could, but the more that you win victories over

00:19:42.860 things that you didn't think you could do previously, the better off you're going to be.

00:19:47.080 So stop trying to impress other people. Stop worrying about getting other people to like you

00:19:52.240 and worry about getting you to like you. Now, interestingly enough, when you find ways to

00:19:59.440 like yourself by winning some of these victories and these battles, I'm talking about more people

00:20:05.080 will like you, but that's just a result of the confidence that you're going to develop.

00:20:10.720 It's not the goal in and of itself. So if you find yourself trying to impress other people,

00:20:15.980 turn that around and worry about impressing yourself. And again, more people are going to be

00:20:22.040 attracted and drawn to you because you represent this level of confidence that maybe they would

00:20:27.080 like to have in their lives. Something they see in you that, that gives them faith because you have

00:20:33.080 some credibility and authority as, as you succeed and thrive in your life and press yourself. The rest

00:20:38.840 will work. All right. Number eight jujitsu. Now I'm not going to get through a podcast, of course,

00:20:46.620 without talking a little bit about jujitsu, it seems like, and I don't mean to beat a dead horse here,

00:20:51.360 but in 2019 jujitsu became a very, very big part of my life. And there's a lot of reasons for that.

00:20:57.380 It's the brotherhood, it's the camaraderie, it's the learning, the growing, the making myself more

00:21:02.260 capable. And ultimately what I found is that jujitsu is a metaphor for life. That's why I talk about it

00:21:08.740 so much is because there's so many parallels in what I learned in the practice of jujitsu that

00:21:14.240 translate perfectly into how I run my business or how I conduct myself with my wife and kids,

00:21:19.320 or how I run this, this podcast and communicate with you and the ideas that I have and how I worry

00:21:24.860 about my fitness. Everything is related. So not only has it made me stronger and more capable,

00:21:30.980 it's just made me a better human being. So I would highly, highly suggest that you get involved in

00:21:37.660 martial arts. I recommend jujitsu. People ask, what should I get into? Well, I do jujitsu. So I would

00:21:42.700 recommend jujitsu, but if it's something else and you feel inclined to, to box or to do MMA or wrestling

00:21:48.600 or Muay Thai or whatever your thing is, then cool, do it. I'm sure there's lessons there as well. But

00:21:53.900 the key for me is finding something that has been good and healthy and productive for me. Plus it

00:21:59.180 allows me to burn off some, some physicality. I mean, we have physical needs, right? Of course,

00:22:04.880 intimacy, but also just being strong and aggression and potentially even violence to a degree. I know

00:22:12.960 some people don't like that term, but that's ultimately what it is. It's controlled violence.

00:22:17.240 It's the ability to do harm to another individual, but having the control, not to have to utilize it

00:22:23.500 or not to feel like you need to do that in every encounter you may run across. So jujitsu, it's

00:22:30.220 powerful. It's a good metaphor for life. And it's something that's very, very positive for men.

00:22:35.280 Number nine is I have a strong sense of who I am and who I'm supposed to be. And this hasn't been as

00:22:45.900 strong as it has in the past, but this year, 2019, that is, uh, I've really spent a lot of time via

00:22:53.300 our battle plan and the vision that I have for myself on knowing what is my ultimate role and

00:22:57.720 objective. Now, when I tell you guys, and I think it's actually on my hat that we as men are to be

00:23:03.500 protectors, providers, and presiders, that's not just a clever tagline for me. That is something that

00:23:09.580 I'm deeply committed to that. I'm deeply vested in that I am trying to become myself. And of course,

00:23:15.600 equip myself with the tools to be able to do just that. And because I know that's what I am meant to

00:23:21.660 be, I can measure all of my action or inaction against that metric is what I'm going to do right

00:23:29.920 now. For example, this podcast, is this helping me be a better protector provider presider? Well,

00:23:35.980 of course it is. I'm leading. I'm helping you learn new things that might apply to you and might

00:23:40.380 help you in your life. So yes, I can check that box off. If I'm going to jujitsu, is that helping

00:23:46.160 me be a better protector provider presider? Of course, obviously protector, because I'm making

00:23:50.940 myself more capable, but I'm learning all these other life lessons as well. If I'm playing with my

00:23:56.820 kids after work one day, am I being a better protector provider presider in that capacity? Of course.

00:24:02.980 So I take all of my actions and of course inactions and even the choices that I'm faced with on a daily

00:24:09.860 basis. And I measure it against who I am and who I have the potential to become, which is a very clear

00:24:17.280 vision of this ideal protector provider presider. Now I don't always get it right. I don't always get

00:24:23.380 it perfect, but having a heading, having a bearing and knowing which way I'm going so that I can measure

00:24:30.740 which trail I should take when I come to a fork in the road, or I come to a choice that I need to

00:24:36.660 make has been a very powerful tool for me to stay on the path that I want to stay on.

00:24:44.460 And I would suggest that you find that out for yourself. Now, if it's a protector provider presider,

00:24:49.360 like I've suggested to you, use that own that, figure out what that means to you. Start writing it

00:24:55.200 down and documenting and journaling about what that is. If it's something different, great. Use whatever it is

00:25:00.480 for you. Use whatever motivates you use whatever heading you need to keep you on the path that you

00:25:05.300 have a desire to go. And number 10 is that there are lots of eyes on me. And I realized that in 2019,

00:25:14.720 that of course that continues to grow through social media presence, but I'm not just talking

00:25:19.600 about social media. I'm talking about my children, talking about my wife. I'm talking about the friends

00:25:25.760 that I have, and even casual acquaintances that I have here in this local area. And of course I'm

00:25:30.960 talking about you followers and listeners and viewers and people who are tuned in and plugged

00:25:36.060 into what we're doing in this battle and in this mission. And because all of those eyes are on me,

00:25:42.060 it's been a great source of accountability in my life. And knowing that my words and my thoughts and

00:25:51.340 actions and behaviors are influencing other people for better or worse is what I do is influential.

00:26:00.060 Same thing for you, what you're doing or what you're not doing is influential in people's lives.

00:26:05.740 Knowing that and having that on my mind gives me the, the power, I guess that's how I'd say it, the power to

00:26:15.580 make good choices. Yes. Internal motivation is hugely important. That's why I talked about in

00:26:22.780 number nine is having a clear sense of who I am, but there's external support and external

00:26:29.500 metrics that you can use and having people who are holding me accountable because I realize that

00:26:34.540 they're watching me has been a valuable source of accountability and a valuable source of

00:26:39.820 inspiration, if you will, for doing the right thing. So I would ask for you is who do you have

00:26:45.660 in your life? Who is watching you? Is it kids? Is it your wife? Is it colleagues and coworkers and

00:26:50.860 neighbors? Do you have a movement similar to what we're doing here or different, uh, that,

00:26:55.020 that other people are watching you and does your behavior influence those individuals who are choosing

00:27:01.660 to be influenced by you? Does it help them or does it hinder them? And you can't not be influential

00:27:08.460 in those people's lives. You can't not be influential in your kids' eyes. Even if you're

00:27:13.340 not there, you've that decision, not be present is going to influence them negatively in a lot of cases,

00:27:19.900 or potentially even positively knowing they don't want to be like that, but think about who you are.

00:27:26.140 Think about how you're showing up and think about how people are perceiving that because that's going

00:27:30.940 to help you stay on the path that you have a desire to stay on. And then I wrote up one other here.

00:27:35.660 So I did 10 and then I was thinking about a little bit more on Instagram. Again,

00:27:39.260 you can check that at Ryan Michler on Instagram, really trying to, to, uh, grow over there.

00:27:44.140 And so I was thinking about it and I wrote another one down in the comments.

00:27:47.020 This is number 11. So this is a bonus. All right. Is that you're not obligated or I'm in my case,

00:27:53.260 I'm not obligated to keep everybody in my life. I'm not, there's going to be people that stay.

00:27:58.780 There's going to be people that go. Uh, but ultimately it's my job to surround myself with

00:28:04.300 winners, surround myself with people who edify me, who uplift me, who push me, who motivate me,

00:28:09.900 who inspire me. And those people who are more interested in dragging me down or pulling me down,

00:28:17.900 or maybe it's even, it's not that devious, but they just don't enhance my life. They detract from it.

00:28:22.700 I'm not obligated to keep those people in my life. I'm not, I'm obligated to be intentional

00:28:28.380 and deliberate about who's in my circle and how they're influencing me. When I have the right people

00:28:33.660 in my corner, I can then go out and produce better results for myself and better results

00:28:38.380 for the people that I care about. You, my wife, my kids, and my friends, everybody that I seem to be

00:28:44.460 working with in some capacity. So inventory your circle and ask yourself who deserves to be here.

00:28:51.660 And frankly, who doesn't? And I know that's not a popular thought in a lot of ways, because people

00:28:55.740 will say things like, well, you know, what about those who are less fortunate? What about those who

00:28:59.900 need help? Absolutely. And I do my best to help those people. Uh, I do my best to put information

00:29:06.220 out there. That's going to be beneficial to them. I donate to charity. There's a lot of things I do,

00:29:11.180 but that doesn't necessarily mean that those individuals are in my inner circle. And that's the

00:29:15.420 distinction. There's people who are in my circle who I want to be there. I'm intentional,

00:29:19.900 intentional and deliberate about who that is. And then there's other people who maybe I don't

00:29:23.660 need them in my circle, but I still feel like I have the obligation to serve in some capacity.

00:29:28.460 And I do that from arm's length. It's very, very important. And that was my, uh,

00:29:33.820 my bonus lesson. So guys, there's the 11 lessons that I learned in 2019. Now, of course,

00:29:41.580 that's not the only 11 things that I learned, but those are the most glaring, the most obvious that

00:29:46.540 stood out as I was trying to share some insights with you. Uh, I would love to hear what you learned

00:29:50.860 in 2019. If you're on YouTube watching this, uh, you can drop those in the comments.

00:29:56.060 If you're not on YouTube watching this, then head to youtube.com slash order of man.

00:30:00.300 And you can, uh, subscribe if you would think we're at 106 or 107,000 subscribers now,

00:30:06.060 which is crazy. It's really, really taken off on YouTube. Uh, other than that, connect with me on

00:30:11.020 Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, all at Ryan Mickler. And we'll continue the conversation there. Let me

00:30:16.700 go through these real quick and then we'll call it a day. Uh, number one is a lot of missed

00:30:21.900 opportunities because I was playing it safe. So I took new levels of risk in 2019. Number two is 95%

00:30:28.060 of the people are going to support me five or less percent are not going to it's human nature to focus

00:30:33.740 on the five. We ought to spend more time focusing on the 95. Uh, number three, true friends aren't simply

00:30:39.740 supposed to make you feel good about yourself or stroke your ego. Sometimes friendships are going

00:30:43.980 to be challenging and tough as they should be. As long as that person's in your corner and believes

00:30:48.780 in you supports you, that's good. But you want people who are going to tell you the things that

00:30:52.940 need to be told and say the things that need to be said and do the things that need to be done.

00:30:56.940 Uh, number four is I don't have to do everything. I just need to ensure that those things get done.

00:31:01.900 So the art of delegation was big for me in 2019. Uh, number five, I'm not entitled to happiness,

00:31:07.340 fulfillment, satisfaction, self-confidence. All of those have to be earned through victories with

00:31:12.860 the weaker, softer, more pathetic version of myself. Uh, number six is finding a purposeful mission 0.69

00:31:20.460 keeps me grounded and allows me to withstand the, the trials and obstacles and hurdles that come up

00:31:27.740 as I'm running this business and living my life. Number seven, I spent significantly less time

00:31:32.540 impressing others and more time worrying about impressing myself. Number eight, jujitsu.

00:31:37.420 I've talked about that at length. Number nine, I have a strong sense of who I am and heading on which

00:31:41.660 I want to travel. Uh, that's the protector provider presider that I'm trying to become.

00:31:46.220 Uh, number 10 is that there's a lot of eyes on me, you, my wife, my kids, neighbors,

00:31:52.540 people that I care about. And that holds me accountable to do the things that I want to do.

00:31:57.260 Uh, and then number 11 is I'm not obligated to keep everybody in my life. So I'm very deliberate,

00:32:03.900 intentional about who that is. So there it is guys. Let's make 2020 the best year of your life.

00:32:10.300 You can join us inside of our Facebook group. You can follow me, follow me on Facebook,

00:32:13.900 Twitter, and Instagram at Ryan Michler. You can check us out on YouTube. You can do all the things.

00:32:19.260 Let's continue to grow this, blow this out of the water. The world needs this mission more than ever.

00:32:23.820 And I'm so glad to be in this battle. I'm glad that you've decided to be in this battle to some

00:32:29.020 degree as well. We need more men in the fight. So I'd ask as we part to share, to comment, to leave

00:32:35.980 a review on iTunes for the podcast, do whatever you can to continue to grow this movement. And I really

00:32:41.020 appreciate the help and support our guests. We'll be back for another interview. I've got some special

00:32:45.420 guests coming up for the first couple of weeks of 2020. Make sure you subscribe. So you never miss

00:32:50.060 a podcast. We'll be back next week. Until then, go out there, take action, and become the man you are

00:32:55.420 meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your

00:33:00.220 life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - January 03, 2020

Top 10 Lessons of 2019 ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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