Order of Man - Transform Your Life ｜ REMI ADELEKE

00:00:00.000 Regardless of your station in life, I think it's safe to assume that every single one of us has a desire to transform our life in some way.

00:00:06.900 And there are a myriad of reasons as to why a lot of men aren't able to make that transformation happen,

00:00:12.400 whether it's lack of motivation, discipline, drive, or any other number of factors.

00:00:17.220 Today, I'm joined by former Navy SEAL Remy Adeleke to talk about how he went from a son of a wealthy and powerful man in Nigeria

00:00:25.800 to growing up on the streets of the Bronx to becoming a Navy SEAL and eventually a Hollywood actor and screenwriter

00:00:31.980 and ultimately how he developed the skills to transform his life.

00:00:35.820 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:41.300 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:46.020 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:51.060 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:55.280 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:01:00.560 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of this podcast

00:01:05.040 and the movement that is Order of Men. I want to welcome you.

00:01:08.340 This is a very, very powerful movement. I say that because I continue to see more men banding with us.

00:01:14.620 They're listening to the podcast. They're following us on social media channels.

00:01:18.240 I'm getting an uptick in emails and messages from men who are stepping up as fathers and husbands,

00:01:23.700 business owners, community leaders in every single facet of life. And I can't tell you how honored I am

00:01:28.800 to be just a small part, a very small part in the journey and the progress that a lot of you are

00:01:35.080 making in your life. I'm humbled and I'm inspired by the growth that I'm seeing. And to that end,

00:01:39.920 guys, what I'm doing is I'm interviewing the world's most successful men. These are warriors like

00:01:44.720 I have on today, Navy SEAL, Remy Adelaike. These are scholars, New York times, bestselling authors,

00:01:50.820 entrepreneurs, any man who has an interesting and inspiring story and has had success in his life.

00:01:56.020 It's my job to interview them on this show. And also we've got our Wednesday show, which is the

00:02:00.740 ask me anything where we're fielding questions from members of our Facebook group, which you can

00:02:04.920 find at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. And also from our exclusive brotherhood,

00:02:10.100 the iron council. And lastly, every Friday, we've got our Friday field notes, which is where you get

00:02:14.540 to hear from me and some of my thoughts from throughout the week. Last week, I talked about

00:02:18.720 overcoming a divorce or a separation or a breakup. So that's the lineup for the week. Make sure you

00:02:24.240 subscribe, make sure you're plugged in, make sure you're sharing this. There's other men in your life,

00:02:27.940 whether it's your father, friends, colleagues, coworkers, brothers, whoever it may be. There's other men

00:02:33.080 who need to hear the message that we're sharing about reclaiming and restoring masculinity in this

00:02:38.120 society that seems to be increasingly dismissive of it. So we're going to get fairly quickly into

00:02:43.160 this show today. I don't have a whole lot of announcements. I'm in the process of a move.

00:02:47.320 And so we don't have any events or anything like that coming up. I would ask you to make sure you

00:02:51.400 check out the store. We've got a lot of cool merchandise, shirts, hats, apparels, decals,

00:02:55.780 and we've also got our new 12 week battle planner. You guys have heard me talk a lot about our battle

00:03:00.020 planner. We've got a leather bound journal that will help you plan out your year and break it down

00:03:06.100 into quarters and objectives and actions and tactics that you need to employ in order to

00:03:12.320 accomplish those big things that you want to accomplish in your life. So you can check that

00:03:15.480 out at store.orderofman.com. So that's all I've got by way of announcements. I do want to get into

00:03:20.800 this one because I had an incredibly fascinating and powerful conversation with Remy Adeleke,

00:03:26.900 who is my guest today. I had an opportunity to sit down with him in Las Vegas, and he is absolutely

00:03:32.340 incredible. And his story is absolutely amazing and inspiring. A lot of you may know him already

00:03:38.120 as a former Navy SEAL and a Hollywood actor, but what you might not know is how this man was born

00:03:44.040 to a chief of an African tribe in Nigeria. Unfortunately, he lost his father at the age

00:03:48.880 of five. He ended up moving to the States with his mother and brother and not a penny to their name.

00:03:54.220 He started selling drugs and running scams to make money, ultimately getting into the Navy under

00:03:59.420 what you might call questionable circumstances, and then eventually becoming a Navy SEAL and

00:04:04.640 Hollywood actor. So guys, you are going to be absolutely blown away with this human and his

00:04:09.280 inspiring story. So sit back, take some notes if you want, and be inspired to make more of your

00:04:15.280 circumstances and ultimately transform your life. Remy, what's up, man? Glad you're joining me here.

00:04:22.240 Hey, thanks for having me.

00:04:22.980 Down in Las Vegas.

00:04:23.760 Yes, sir.

00:04:24.280 Spending your time here?

00:04:25.240 You know what? Back in my younger days, I would come out here to party once in a while.

00:04:29.420 Is that right?

00:04:29.780 I'd get crazy, but that's before I-

00:04:32.380 That's before you transformed.

00:04:33.480 I grew up.

00:04:34.040 Yeah.

00:04:34.480 I grew up.

00:04:35.140 Yeah.

00:04:35.680 Yeah.

00:04:36.100 I know all of us have that experience, right?

00:04:39.320 Somewhere in our background.

00:04:40.440 Absolutely.

00:04:40.880 Man, we've been trying to make this happen for a while now.

00:04:43.000 I know, man. 0.99

00:04:43.140 You've been crazy. 0.99

00:04:43.860 I know, man. 0.66

00:04:44.560 Thank you so much for making the time to make this happen, man.

00:04:46.860 Yeah.

00:04:47.420 Yeah.

00:04:47.740 Yeah.

00:04:47.900 What spurred you to want to write the book?

00:04:51.440 People.

00:04:52.340 People for years, people who would hear my story, they would pull me aside and they

00:04:59.400 would just say, hey, Remy, your story's inspiring.

00:05:01.420 You need to write a book.

00:05:02.860 And I was always like, no, no, no.

00:05:06.040 Because the stigma that's attached to seals will do write books.

00:05:09.380 Yeah, for sure.

00:05:10.200 And then one day, I went on the Today Show to promote a film about Transformers that

00:05:13.580 just come out.

00:05:14.080 I was part of the press tour.

00:05:15.520 And so I was on the Today Show and Kathy Lee Gifford said live on air, she was like,

00:05:20.160 you need to write a book and your book needs to be made into a movie.

00:05:24.060 Really?

00:05:24.500 Yeah.

00:05:24.680 She says that you could YouTube it.

00:05:26.060 Watch the video.

00:05:26.780 It's all on YouTube.

00:05:28.620 And in my mind, I was like, absolutely not.

00:05:33.040 And then when we went backstage, she kind of probed me some more.

00:05:35.720 She was just like, Remy, you need to write a book.

00:05:38.460 Your story's inspiring not to share.

00:05:40.240 And I told her, gave her the reasons why. 1.00

00:05:41.860 And she said, oh, that's stupid. 1.00

00:05:44.240 What were your reasons why? 1.00

00:05:45.580 You know, just looking bad.

00:05:48.000 You know, looking bad in my community.

00:05:49.540 Looking like, you know, I kind of went against my principles as a seal.

00:05:53.180 Like the silent operator type.

00:05:54.620 Exactly.

00:05:55.100 Okay.

00:05:55.540 And, you know, she was just like, you know what I mean?

00:05:57.860 Like, I know your heart.

00:05:59.220 I know your heart wouldn't be to write it to beat your chest to say, hey, look at me.

00:06:03.480 I know your heart would be to write it to inspire people.

00:06:06.320 And when she said that, I was like, you know, I agree with her 100%.

00:06:09.740 If I was to ever write a book, it would be to inspire people, especially kids who come

00:06:14.440 from where I came from and, you know, who have no hope in ever doing anything like I've

00:06:19.940 done.

00:06:20.500 And maybe it may not be a seal.

00:06:21.880 Maybe it might be like a writer.

00:06:23.300 Maybe it might be a doctor.

00:06:24.340 Maybe it might be whatever.

00:06:25.780 You know, I wanted to inspire that generation as well, those kids as well.

00:06:29.380 And so her words is what kind of sparked me to start writing.

00:06:33.280 She walked me to the publisher.

00:06:34.740 Is that right?

00:06:35.200 HarperCollins.

00:06:35.860 And she said, sign this guy to a book deal right now.

00:06:38.360 And they did.

00:06:39.260 And the rest is history.

00:06:40.180 And the rest is history.

00:06:40.680 So what, this was what, a couple of years ago then?

00:06:42.300 This was August of 2017.

00:06:44.780 Okay.

00:06:45.240 And you got out of the seals in 16?

00:06:47.720 2016, January.

00:06:48.460 Okay.

00:06:48.720 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:49.180 That's when I fully separated, man.

00:06:50.780 Yeah.

00:06:51.320 What a crazy ride.

00:06:52.240 Did you ever think it'd look like this?

00:06:53.780 No.

00:06:54.140 I mean, you've come from humble beginnings.

00:06:55.800 Yeah, man.

00:06:56.320 It's funny because I was having a conversation the other day and it was just like, I feel like I

00:07:00.420 lived this unexpected life.

00:07:02.180 Everything that's happened to me has been completely unexpected.

00:07:05.060 Like, getting into acting, that was unexpected.

00:07:06.960 That's not something I was trying to do.

00:07:08.400 I just get a phone call one day.

00:07:09.740 Like, getting into writing, that was unexpected.

00:07:11.920 We were just talking off the air earlier about the screenplay thing.

00:07:14.540 Like, getting offers from major studios to turn a little movie I wrote into a big movie,

00:07:21.060 that's unexpected.

00:07:22.720 What do you attribute that to?

00:07:24.360 Man, for me, a few things.

00:07:25.740 One, I would say faith.

00:07:27.980 You know, I truly believe that God has guided me and I've had to do my part.

00:07:33.880 I truly believe that he's had a plan for my life.

00:07:37.100 And so, that's a big piece for me.

00:07:40.040 Secondly, hard work, man.

00:07:41.840 I feel like, you know, over the years, I put in the hard work that needed to be put in to

00:07:47.440 get to this point.

00:07:48.440 You know, people talk about luck.

00:07:50.120 What is luck?

00:07:50.940 You know, luck is when you're prepared and being prepared meets opportunity.

00:07:55.920 And so, I've been prepared because I put in the work, the hard work, you know.

00:08:00.480 So, I think that, you know, I attribute to that as well.

00:08:02.800 And just, you know, keeping the right people around me, you know.

00:08:05.680 And not just keeping the right people around me, but also treating people properly regardless

00:08:15.120 of their status in life, if that makes sense.

00:08:18.760 Yeah.

00:08:19.080 And I say that because how I got into this production company that I'm signed with now,

00:08:24.340 Zero Gravity, was I hired this kid to do some work for me.

00:08:29.880 He ended up not doing the work properly.

00:08:32.300 And I was so furious.

00:08:34.820 I had to fire him.

00:08:36.580 But right after I fired him, I knew that he was financially in a bad situation.

00:08:40.340 So, I was like, I gave him like a couple hundred bucks.

00:08:43.360 Fast forward a few months later, he calls me up.

00:08:45.960 He's like, hey, dude, thank you so much for helping me with that 500 bucks.

00:08:49.560 I was living in my car and you helped me tremendously.

00:08:51.760 He's like, I want to be able to get back to you.

00:08:53.680 I work with Zero Gravity now.

00:08:55.380 If you ever need anything, if you ever have a script or anything you want to run through

00:08:58.920 us, let me know and I'll get it to the right people.

00:09:01.560 And literally, that's how I got signed with Zero Gravity.

00:09:03.520 And so, going back to your question, it's really important to treat people appropriately

00:09:11.200 regardless of what stage of life they're in.

00:09:14.420 I hate favoritism.

00:09:16.040 That's something I despise from the time I was a kid because I saw so much of it.

00:09:20.940 And so, treat all people equally.

00:09:23.380 And don't do it to get something in return, but watch how that in return can bless you sometime

00:09:29.200 in the future.

00:09:29.800 And so, that's the third reason why I think I'm where I'm at today.

00:09:35.260 I mean, yeah, for sure.

00:09:36.540 You talk about favoritism when you were a kid.

00:09:38.960 Yeah.

00:09:39.300 Was that because of your father's station?

00:09:41.460 No.

00:09:42.140 What are you referring to?

00:09:43.560 I'm just referring to just being in school and seeing the cool kids on one side and the

00:09:53.100 not-so-cool kids on the other side.

00:09:55.000 And the cool kids wouldn't hang with the not-so-cool kids because they had their clique.

00:09:59.200 It was just favoritism or seeing how – I saw this big growing up in the Bronx, just seeing

00:10:07.940 how a person, because of the money that they have from doing illegal stuff, how that just

00:10:17.760 gave them so much favoritism.

00:10:19.800 Whereas, you have this other person over here who's doing the right thing, trying to provide

00:10:24.940 for his family the right way, but he's almost frowned upon.

00:10:28.840 You know what I mean?

00:10:29.700 Sure.

00:10:30.280 So, I don't know if that makes sense, but –

00:10:32.760 Yeah.

00:10:32.980 You're talking about seeing it from the outside looking in and seeing how certain people are

00:10:36.580 treated because of where they are in life or what opportunities they already had before

00:10:41.460 they got here or whatever else.

00:10:43.080 Exactly.

00:10:43.420 Exactly.

00:10:44.260 Yeah.

00:10:45.140 Did that create a chip on your shoulder?

00:10:46.900 Absolutely.

00:10:47.700 Absolutely.

00:10:48.100 Because I was one of those kids where I was jumped, beat up.

00:10:53.260 I remember reading one part in your book about –

00:10:56.820 Basketball.

00:10:57.180 I think it was a guy you were playing basketball, an older brother, and then like a 30-year-old

00:11:02.240 dude.

00:11:02.500 Yeah.

00:11:02.780 Yeah.

00:11:02.980 He just got out of prison.

00:11:04.120 They beat the brakes off me bad.

00:11:06.220 That's crazy.

00:11:06.660 You know, I grew up fighting, you know, all that, and so because I was almost like a black

00:11:14.160 sheep, you know, and because I was always the black sheep, that kind of did give me

00:11:18.920 a chip on the shoulder, but in return, that made me gravitate to the black sheep.

00:11:24.560 Right.

00:11:25.160 Like, just naturally, like, I love the outcasts.

00:11:27.680 That was your identity at that point?

00:11:29.240 Yeah, that was my identity at that point, and now that's what I gravitate to now.

00:11:32.640 Like, I love the – I go – I work with – at Risk Youth, I volunteer with an organization

00:11:37.880 called La Mesa City Hope, and, you know, we deal with human trafficking, domestic violence,

00:11:43.280 but my focus is specifically kids who are like – they're like in detention all the

00:11:49.620 time.

00:11:49.940 Right.

00:11:50.040 They're the kids in school.

00:11:51.120 The younger version of you, maybe.

00:11:52.500 The younger version of me.

00:11:53.260 They can't be with the rest of the kids, and that's who I gravitate to.

00:11:56.500 That's who I speak to, and because I can relate to them, they listen to me.

00:12:00.120 Sure.

00:12:00.460 You know, so.

00:12:01.020 Yeah.

00:12:01.280 Yeah.

00:12:01.420 Yeah.

00:12:01.580 Yeah, so how do you then harness some of that chip on your shoulder?

00:12:06.240 Because you've created a lot of positivity in your life, and I imagine that drive comes

00:12:11.480 from your experiences from when you were a child to moving to the States to going through

00:12:17.320 the financial hardships and some illegal activities and all of that stuff.

00:12:21.800 How do you channel that energy from negativity to positivity?

00:12:25.780 Just do it.

00:12:27.180 I mean, it's just as simple as that.

00:12:29.060 A lot of people make up excuses and say, you know, well, this, well, that.

00:12:33.720 I try not to dwell on excuses.

00:12:35.240 It's easy for me to say, you know, even looking at SEAL training, you know, I can't swim.

00:12:40.500 I couldn't swim.

00:12:42.080 So, I'm just not going to do it.

00:12:43.620 Did you learn before you went to training?

00:12:46.300 Or what did you learn to swim?

00:12:47.400 Yeah, yeah, I learned to swim, like, after I got into the Navy.

00:12:51.580 Really?

00:12:51.940 After I made the decision.

00:12:53.280 Yeah, then you're like, I better learn to do this.

00:12:55.560 That's when I was like, okay, I'm going to be a frogman.

00:12:57.280 I need to get in the pool.

00:12:58.200 And I didn't have a car.

00:13:00.000 And I was stationed in Naval Hospital Camp Pendleton.

00:13:01.760 And so, I would literally run three miles, jump in the water, and try to figure it out.

00:13:09.140 And some days I didn't.

00:13:10.260 Some days I kind of did.

00:13:11.760 And then I would run three miles back to the barracks.

00:13:14.000 Wow.

00:13:14.460 And I did that, like, three to four days a week.

00:13:16.860 And then finally, I humbled myself.

00:13:18.920 And I asked the lifeguard if they could talk me through the stroke.

00:13:21.220 And eventually, they did.

00:13:22.240 But, you know, I didn't make up an excuse and say, I can't do it because of this.

00:13:26.800 Because I grew up in the Bronx.

00:13:28.300 And there weren't pools in the Bronx and this and that.

00:13:30.300 And I could have looked at it from that perspective.

00:13:32.020 But I decided to make the decision to, you know what?

00:13:34.520 I have no clue what I'm doing.

00:13:36.000 But I'm going to figure this thing out, you know?

00:13:37.880 Yeah.

00:13:38.180 And that's the way life is.

00:13:39.480 You know, if you want to be successful, you got to figure it out.

00:13:42.740 And you know what?

00:13:43.540 Sometimes you're going to have to do the extra work when you have a deficiency, you know?

00:13:49.760 You know, I talk about it in my book.

00:13:51.200 Not only was my deficiency I couldn't swim, I was skinny.

00:13:54.960 You know what I mean?

00:13:55.860 Yeah, yeah.

00:13:56.080 I could barely do push-ups.

00:13:57.240 When I was growing up in the Bronx, yeah, I was this tough guy.

00:13:59.360 And wore the baggy clothes and all that other stuff.

00:14:01.680 And, you know, fought a lot.

00:14:03.240 But I was skinny.

00:14:04.760 So I had that as a deficiency.

00:14:06.360 I didn't have the academic scores to be a SEAL. 1.00

00:14:08.400 You have to, contrary to popular belief, you can't be a SEAL and be an idiot. 1.00

00:14:11.280 You have to score high academically. 0.99

00:14:13.080 And so I was not qualified in any way.

00:14:17.220 Well, if we wouldn't even go back further, then I'm sure we'll get into it.

00:14:20.160 But I wasn't even qualified to join the Navy.

00:14:22.640 You know what I mean?

00:14:23.340 But I wasn't qualified in any way to be a SEAL.

00:14:26.880 But I just did the extra, extra, extra hard work that needed to be done in order for me to get to where I needed to be.

00:14:36.080 And when you have a deficiency, you have to do that.

00:14:39.900 Right.

00:14:40.460 Or you could just say, well, you know what?

00:14:42.540 I can't do it because of X, Y, and Z.

00:14:45.100 Throw up your hands and walk away.

00:14:46.940 Exactly.

00:14:47.240 So I guess my question, though, is why did you decide to make that route yours when you didn't have the background and you had those deficiencies, and yet there was probably something inside of you, at least to a small degree, that said, I can do this?

00:15:05.200 Yeah.

00:15:05.380 I would say there was three things.

00:15:08.220 One, I wanted to be part of the best.

00:15:12.520 Just, you know, growing up, you know, rapping, I rapped when I was a kid, a teenager, you know, and I even started a record company at a later point in my teenage years.

00:15:24.540 And I wanted to be the best rapper, right?

00:15:28.740 You know, I remember I would battle kids and rap battle kids in high school.

00:15:32.480 And then, you know, we would go to Times Square, me and my friends, we would rap battle and all this other stuff.

00:15:37.100 And I just wanted to be the best rapper.

00:15:39.300 And I think that that came from my mom, too, because my mom was always about, Remy, don't half-ass anything you do.

00:15:46.640 She would get on my brother all the time, even with little things, when she would tell us, hey, Remy, go in the kitchen and grab me this, and I didn't see it.

00:15:54.020 Yeah.

00:15:54.460 And then she walked in the kitchen, and it was right there.

00:15:57.000 She's like, Remy, use the eyes that God gave you.

00:15:59.660 It was right there in your face.

00:16:01.160 My mom was always-

00:16:01.960 That's a good mom. 0.99

00:16:02.440 Yeah, she's a fantastic mom. 0.97

00:16:04.380 My mom was always about excellence.

00:16:06.080 And whatever you do, you be the best at it.

00:16:08.880 And so when I found out about the SEAL teams, I was like, this is the best.

00:16:14.660 This is the best that I could do in the Navy.

00:16:17.300 You know, there is nothing that far surpasses this.

00:16:21.020 And so that's one thing that really propelled me to do what I needed to do, even though I couldn't do what I wanted to do.

00:16:28.860 Right.

00:16:28.980 The second thing was I had nothing left.

00:16:32.500 In my mind, it was just this, you know, I failed at selling drugs.

00:16:37.720 I failed at, you know, my cell phone thing.

00:16:40.440 I won't go into great detail.

00:16:41.800 You know what I'm talking about.

00:16:42.620 Yeah, for sure.

00:16:43.120 You know, I failed at the record company.

00:16:45.560 I failed as a son.

00:16:47.460 You know what I mean?

00:16:48.080 I failed at all of these things in life.

00:16:50.680 Now I'm here.

00:16:51.540 I cannot fail again.

00:16:53.720 It was just that simple.

00:16:55.100 I made a conscious decision that I will not fail again.

00:17:01.240 I'm going to make-

00:17:02.340 I don't care if I die.

00:17:03.960 You know what I mean?

00:17:05.100 I'm going to absolutely make it.

00:17:07.700 And that's what drove me, man.

00:17:08.920 That's what drove me every time I was running to that pool, every time I was going to the gym and doing those push-ups, every time I was picking up that ASVAT book to get better, you know, from an academic standpoint, what drove me over and over again, what drove me to wake up, whether it was cold, whether it was raining, whether it was hot, you know, whether, you know, I left this story out in the book.

00:17:31.440 But there were times at Camp Pendleton where I could have ran one or two ways to the pool, and I would usually run the road during the daytime.

00:17:41.440 But there was like a trail that I could go, which was like the wilderness.

00:17:45.720 It was like animals and snakes and all kinds of stuff.

00:17:48.380 And I'm a city boy.

00:17:49.800 So I was, you know, you hear something rustling in the bush, you don't go, you go away from it, right?

00:17:55.860 There's them rats in the Bronx are massive, right?

00:17:58.380 And so there were times that I would run, I would run the bush route and the sun, when the sun would come out, would start to go down, the noises would get loud.

00:18:12.020 Oh, for sure.

00:18:12.700 Yeah.

00:18:13.320 Yeah.

00:18:14.100 But the trail route was shorter than the road route.

00:18:17.740 And so for the sake of time, because I had to get back to work, because I was working a night clinic, there were times where I had to take the trail route.

00:18:24.980 And I didn't want to take the trail route.

00:18:27.400 But I was just like, I don't care.

00:18:29.140 I'm going to take the trail route.

00:18:31.080 I'm not going to let these animals de-bow me.

00:18:34.820 But I'm going to do what I need to do.

00:18:36.680 You know, again, it just goes back, I cannot fail.

00:18:39.240 So, you know.

00:18:40.360 Yeah.

00:18:40.780 Yeah.

00:18:41.160 And I mean, it is so easy to let some of those obstacles get in the way and some of those seemingly insignificant ones.

00:18:46.460 Like, I'm sure you look back on it now and think, why was that so difficult?

00:18:49.240 Yeah, right.

00:18:50.020 Because you have a new frame of reference, right?

00:18:51.700 Absolutely.

00:18:52.200 Absolutely.

00:18:52.780 You know, just the perspective is completely different.

00:18:55.340 But I appreciate the struggle, though.

00:18:58.720 You know, looking back on it, you know, I really, really, really do appreciate it.

00:19:02.180 And I appreciate the fear and the lack in those times because, you know, the fear led to lessons, the lack led to lessons that I want to have learned.

00:19:12.900 And, you know, even going back to my overall story with my dad, you know, being a multimillionaire and, you know, creating one of the first man-made islands in the world and being successful and me being born into a luxury and then completely losing that.

00:19:28.600 But, you know, when I was a kid, I was hurt a lot by that because I associated my father being around with safety, with security, with financial provisions.

00:19:42.600 Sure.

00:19:43.120 And so when he was gone and we didn't have that, I would just feel so hurt at times.

00:19:50.700 I would just say, man, I wish my dad never died.

00:19:53.280 I wish the Nigerian government never did what they did to him so that we could have a better life.

00:19:58.600 But as I grew older, and especially now, I look back on what happened to our family, and I'm so grateful for it because if that didn't happen, I wouldn't be the man I am today.

00:20:11.320 You know, I have siblings.

00:20:12.460 My dad was married before he married my mom.

00:20:15.060 And so I have half siblings that are like 10 years older than me, and all of them grew up in the wealth.

00:20:21.140 You know, all of them were sent to boarding school in London.

00:20:23.980 All of them, you know, grew up with prestige.

00:20:26.360 They all have English accents.

00:20:28.160 Is that right?

00:20:28.760 All of them.

00:20:29.320 Yeah.

00:20:29.620 All of my older siblings, right?

00:20:32.140 And, you know, I want to be careful how I say this.

00:20:36.020 They had an easier life, right?

00:20:38.360 And so because they had an easier life, they were things that they couldn't have gained the way I gained them, right?

00:20:44.140 And so I'm so grateful that I, and this might sound weird, that things turned out with, you know, with the Nigerian government stripping our family of everything financially, with my dad passing.

00:20:54.940 And it hurt, but I'm grateful that that was the path that I had to go down because I'm the man I am today.

00:21:01.640 And it helps me to be a better husband and a better father and, you know, just a better man in general.

00:21:07.240 Do you remember a lot of time with your father?

00:21:09.080 Because you were fairly young, weren't you?

00:21:10.820 What, five, six years old?

00:21:11.640 I was five when he died.

00:21:12.260 Five?

00:21:12.520 Okay, yeah.

00:21:12.620 Yeah, I was five when he died.

00:21:13.520 You know, I have these vague, I have these vague memories, these flashes of my dad.

00:21:17.760 Yeah.

00:21:19.220 You know, I kind of remember his laugh a little bit.

00:21:22.380 I remember, this is one thing I will never forget, my brother and I, we were fighting one day.

00:21:28.400 And my brother, he takes my head and he pushes me up against a wall in my head.

00:21:35.000 I still have this scar on my, I have this scar right here.

00:21:38.380 Oh, yeah.

00:21:38.960 Because I still have it to this day.

00:21:40.300 He smashed your head up against the wall?

00:21:42.080 He smashed my head up against the wall.

00:21:44.080 And my dad, my dad was furious.

00:21:47.020 I bet, yeah, I bet.

00:21:47.900 And my dad was more furious because my dad was very intelligent.

00:21:54.120 And I'll back up before I kind of come back and give you the full context.

00:21:57.780 My grandfather was, had like eight wives.

00:22:01.660 Okay.

00:22:02.040 He was married with eight wives because, you know, I'm part of the Yoruba tribe.

00:22:05.560 Sure, sure.

00:22:06.240 Yoruba culture and him being, my grandfather being a chief and ade leke, ade meaning crown is above.

00:22:13.340 Him being of that Yoruba royalty.

00:22:16.240 My grandfather had these many wives and he had nothing but daughters.

00:22:19.680 And then finally he had my dad.

00:22:21.140 And so my dad was a firstborn son.

00:22:24.320 Well, when my dad was eight, my grandfather died.

00:22:28.020 And then my dad, he moved down to the south of Nigeria.

00:22:31.820 And missionaries were in the south.

00:22:33.640 And not only, they didn't really, they taught the Bible, but that wasn't their primary focus.

00:22:37.460 But, well, I'm sure that was their primary focus.

00:22:39.340 But along with that, they also taught English, math, science, literature, all of these, pretty much provided Western education.

00:22:48.940 And one thing that dazzled the missionaries was the fact that my dad had this ability to memorize things.

00:22:56.120 I mean, he could memorize math equations.

00:22:58.820 He could memorize science.

00:23:00.220 I mean, he memorized the Bible.

00:23:01.780 He could just memorize it.

00:23:03.320 He was a savant.

00:23:05.060 And so that led to him getting a full-ride scholarship to study engineering in London, which led to him getting a full-ride scholarship for his master's, to get his master's in architecture and engineering.

00:23:17.560 And then all these other things came with that.

00:23:19.680 But I say all that to say, my dad was always about the mind.

00:23:24.280 Whereas you have a lot of family, a lot of parents who are like, you better be, I want you to be a good basketball player, a good football player.

00:23:30.660 Sure, yeah, yeah.

00:23:32.080 You have not all parents, but you do have those parents where they had this plan for their child to be this violinist.

00:23:38.240 Or they had this plan for their child to be an athlete or whatever.

00:23:42.980 My dad was like, he understood the power of the mind.

00:23:46.760 So his thing was, your mind is your greatest asset.

00:23:50.400 And so I want you, like, he wanted my brother to be the president of the United States.

00:23:55.340 Really?

00:23:55.940 And he wanted me to.

00:23:57.240 He talked to you guys about that?

00:23:58.860 He would talk to my brother.

00:24:00.100 Right, right, right.

00:24:00.520 And my brother remembers it more than I do.

00:24:02.000 And my mom would tell me and my brother this when we were younger.

00:24:05.260 That's one of the reasons why my dad didn't have my brother be born in New York.

00:24:09.340 Yeah, I was going to ask where.

00:24:10.380 So were you born?

00:24:11.380 I was born in Africa.

00:24:11.880 Oh, you were, okay.

00:24:12.440 I was born in Africa.

00:24:13.080 My brother was born in New York because my dad was like, I want this kid to be a president one day.

00:24:17.720 Interesting.

00:24:17.960 Because of the mind that I know that he has in him because of our DNA.

00:24:21.460 Yeah.

00:24:21.740 He has the ability to be the president one day.

00:24:23.520 So let's have him be born in the U.S.

00:24:25.380 And then I was born in Africa, which I still think I can still run for president.

00:24:30.040 Not that I want to run for president.

00:24:31.340 I was like, you want to do that?

00:24:32.720 Because I was born a U.S. citizen abroad.

00:24:36.820 But again, my dad, he was just all about the mind.

00:24:40.620 He was a visionary.

00:24:41.480 He would think so far into the future, even with the Lagoon Development Project, which later became the Banana Island.

00:24:47.740 So anyway, I say all that to say that when my brother put my head through the wall, my dad was furious because my dad was essentially saying, you are affecting my son's most prized asset, his brain.

00:25:04.780 And so, yeah, I'll never forget that.

00:25:07.480 Yeah.

00:25:07.740 Man, that's crazy.

00:25:10.360 So let's talk about this transition because you go from that position and that station in life to then you and your mom.

00:25:18.660 And how old's your brother?

00:25:19.920 My brother's a year older.

00:25:20.920 Just a year older.

00:25:22.020 So you go from that to now you three in the Bronx.

00:25:26.220 Yeah.

00:25:26.680 No money.

00:25:27.420 No money.

00:25:28.480 Don't know how to do any of this stuff.

00:25:29.860 I mean, you guys are in a bad way.

00:25:31.300 Yeah, it was a bad situation.

00:25:32.260 My mom, dude, my mom is a – people ask me all the time, where do you get your resilience and perseverance?

00:25:38.000 And all of these things.

00:25:38.880 And I say, moms.

00:25:40.120 Yeah. 0.99

00:25:40.500 My mom is a beast, man. 1.00

00:25:42.260 She had to be. 0.99

00:25:43.600 This is what it sounds like.

00:25:44.980 But you know what?

00:25:45.880 She had a turning point where she realized she had to be.

00:25:49.220 Right after my – and I don't share this story in my book, but right after my dad died, my mom contacted a family member of hers who she had grew up with.

00:25:59.740 Her family.

00:26:00.720 One of her family members who she grew up with and she was really close to.

00:26:04.880 And this family member was very successful, very wealthy.

00:26:08.140 And she called him up and she said, listen, my husband just died.

00:26:11.480 I have not a nickel to my name.

00:26:14.020 I don't know how I'm going to feed the boys.

00:26:16.480 You know, can you loan me some money just to get by until I can figure out what I'm going to do to provide for my kids?

00:26:23.880 And he said, you know, let me call you back in like five minutes.

00:26:27.280 And so five minutes later, the phone rings and it's this family member's wife.

00:26:33.440 And the wife says to my mom, how dare you call up my husband and ask him for money? 1.00

00:26:40.180 Who the hell do you think you are? 0.98

00:26:42.420 Really? 0.99

00:26:42.940 You go through me if you ever want to get it.

00:26:46.380 And then she hung up the phone on my mom. 0.80

00:26:48.860 And my mom's husband just died.

00:26:51.780 Yeah.

00:26:52.600 She got two boys who don't know what's going on.

00:26:55.960 Right.

00:26:57.280 She don't know how she's going to provide. 0.96

00:26:59.580 And that was like, my mom describes it to me as I was destroyed.

00:27:03.220 It broke the kid.

00:27:03.900 It broke her.

00:27:05.760 That's what, I mean, my father's death broke her, but that broke, broke, broke, broke her.

00:27:09.820 Yeah.

00:27:09.920 Yeah.

00:27:10.380 But one thing my mom always tells me is that it was in that moment that she realized that no one was going to come to her rescue and she was going to have to figure this thing out on her own.

00:27:23.300 And she was going to have to grind and put in the work and work multiple jobs and make a way. 0.99

00:27:30.300 And that's where she decided, I'm not going to marry no man.

00:27:32.560 I'm not going to go find another man to help me take care of these kids. 0.96

00:27:35.700 I'm going to do this on my own.

00:27:37.560 And I will never be in this position ever again where I'm going to have to depend on somebody.

00:27:42.060 And that's my mom.

00:27:44.200 And, you know, another thing about that transition is going back to my mom is, you know, my mom did a fantastic job of, and I don't want to say hiding, but masking the reality of the life that we had just entered into.

00:27:59.960 Right.

00:28:00.280 You know, I remember when my mom told my brother and I that our dad died.

00:28:03.940 Yeah, because she didn't tell you initially, it sounds like.

00:28:05.780 Yeah, she didn't tell us initially, but when she finally did, you know, I remember she put my brother on the right side of the couch.

00:28:12.560 It was this red chair.

00:28:13.500 She put my brother on her right side.

00:28:14.980 She put me on her left side.

00:28:16.340 And she looked at us and she was calm and she was cool and she was collected.

00:28:20.100 And she said, your father died.

00:28:23.180 You know, he's gone and he's not coming back.

00:28:25.100 And the way my mom said it, she said it in such a calm way, and we're young, you know, we're five and six, so we don't fully understand that.

00:28:35.840 But she said it in such a calm way that we were just like, we looked up at her like, oh, okay, cool, mom.

00:28:41.140 This is nothing.

00:28:41.900 Yeah, okay, cool.

00:28:42.540 And me and my brother went into the bedroom to go play.

00:28:45.920 Really?

00:28:46.280 I'll never forget this.

00:28:47.440 Like, nothing happened.

00:28:48.860 But again, it goes back to the way my mom delivered it.

00:28:52.380 It wasn't that she didn't care.

00:28:54.420 She had empathy.

00:28:55.320 She lost her husband.

00:28:56.600 You know what I mean?

00:28:57.060 It was that she knew that she couldn't be broken or show fear or show despondency in front of these two little boys.

00:29:06.500 So, again, my mom did a fantastic job at masking all of the things that was going on, even our situation, you know, financially.

00:29:14.300 There were times when, and my brother's the one that would share these stories with me later in life that I never really realized until my brother put two and two together for me.

00:29:26.480 But there were times when my mom didn't have enough food to feed herself. 1.00

00:29:31.480 She had just enough food to feed my brother and I. 1.00

00:29:36.560 And she would put the food on the table, split it between us, and stand in the doorway of the kitchen and watch to make sure we ate.

00:29:43.540 And I remember, I hated onions.

00:29:49.040 I hated onions.

00:29:50.920 And my mom would put onions in the food. 0.94

00:29:53.580 And I just remember spitting out these onions.

00:29:56.140 And the way my mom diced them, she diced them in, like, these perfect squares.

00:29:59.460 And they were, like, sauteed, so they were kind of slimy.

00:30:02.080 And I hated them.

00:30:03.780 And I remember one day, I just started looking back, and I was spitting out the onions.

00:30:09.400 And my mom slapped me upside my head. 0.85

00:30:11.780 Sorry.

00:30:12.400 And she was just like, Remy, what are you doing?

00:30:14.980 And she was just furious.

00:30:16.300 Yeah.

00:30:17.000 And I couldn't understand why she was angry.

00:30:20.560 But looking back, in retrospect, after my brother explained this to me later, it was because that was food.

00:30:26.440 Even though it was onions, that was food that she could have been eating.

00:30:28.880 Right.

00:30:29.460 You know what I mean?

00:30:30.120 So, again, my mom did a great job at masking the reality of life. 1.00

00:30:35.620 So, early on, the transition wasn't as hard.

00:30:38.020 It wasn't until, I would say, I was eight years old that I really, it really set in.

00:30:43.280 And my dad was gone.

00:30:44.320 He's not coming back.

00:30:45.360 And this is our life.

00:30:47.040 You know?

00:30:47.260 And my mom's struggling financially.

00:30:49.560 There's times when I'm walking to the rent office with her, and she's having to ask, you know, the rent guy, can we get some extra time?

00:30:56.540 You know?

00:30:57.060 Me and my brother sharing the same clothes.

00:30:59.020 And all of these things.

00:31:00.600 And when I began to really see these patterns, that's when the reality hit me.

00:31:05.240 My life is not what it used to be.

00:31:07.220 Yeah.

00:31:07.780 Yeah.

00:31:08.060 And that's when I was like, okay, I'm going to begin to figure out how to make it what I want to be, you know?

00:31:13.560 And that's when you got into some of your extracurricular activities, we'll call them.

00:31:18.220 Yeah.

00:31:18.520 And, you know, not initially.

00:31:19.900 Not initially.

00:31:20.480 That's when I started to seek out a father.

00:31:24.260 You know, I truly believe that every boy needs a man to teach them how to be a man.

00:31:30.040 For sure.

00:31:30.640 Definitely.

00:31:30.940 You know, I got three boys, and I see how they look up to me.

00:31:33.820 And they need me every day.

00:31:36.720 It's an everyday process to show them the example of a man and how to be a man.

00:31:42.180 And so my father, excuse me, because I didn't have a father, I began to, unconsciously, I began to search out a father and things.

00:31:53.600 And hip hop, rap, it was massive at the time, late 80s, early 90s, hip hop culture, rap culture, Jay-Z, Biggie, Tupac, Snoop, you know, all of these guys were coming out.

00:32:06.480 And I was able to look at them, these men who look like me, who came from the inner city, just like I came from, who grew up in single parent homes, just like I did.

00:32:14.740 And I was able to say, that's a man.

00:32:16.840 That's a man.

00:32:18.660 And that's what I'm going to be.

00:32:20.200 Right.

00:32:20.500 That was what you had aspirations to be like.

00:32:22.400 That's what I had aspirations to be like.

00:32:24.140 Because that was my only example.

00:32:25.560 Sure.

00:32:26.220 Between rap music and music videos, that was my only consistent male, those were the only consistent male figures in my life.

00:32:33.300 And we're talking pretty much 24-7, because I listen to it all the time.

00:32:38.580 And so, because I would hear these guys talk about, you know, punching people in the face who disrespected you, that's what I would do.

00:32:45.360 That's what you did.

00:32:45.800 Because I heard them talk about hustling and getting money, power, respect, and girls, that's what I began to do.

00:32:51.160 And so, I started out stealing from my mom at a really young age.

00:32:54.360 You know, around that time, I had that revelation.

00:32:57.240 And I remember there were times when my mom would, she would put her money under the mattress, just like a lot of black mamas. 1.00

00:33:02.660 They'd put their money under the mattress.

00:33:04.780 And I would just, you know, pull a little $20 out.

00:33:08.840 Really?

00:33:09.320 Pull a little $10 out.

00:33:10.240 And I remember there were times when my mom would be crying because she didn't know where the money was going.

00:33:16.420 And at one point, we got robbed.

00:33:17.920 We got robbed like two times, two or three times by this crackhead in our house. 0.86

00:33:22.180 He came and broke into our house and stole all our stuff, stole our money and stuff. 0.76

00:33:26.360 And so, I remember there were times when she would wonder what's the money, and I would blame it on the crackhead.

00:33:30.080 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:33:31.440 So, I, you know, because that was my out.

00:33:33.320 So, I started out stealing from my mom.

00:33:34.920 And the little that she had, and that progressed to, you know, stealing from stores. 0.99

00:33:38.140 I go into the local bodega and get 25-cent chips.

00:33:40.760 Because to me, again, it's about getting that money, that power, respect.

00:33:43.640 So, my friends see me take this, then I get that respect.

00:33:46.280 Or, you know, it shows that I have something, even if it's like a 50-cent bag of chips.

00:33:50.860 Like, to me, that status, like, look, I'm the kid in the school with a 50-cent bag of chips.

00:33:54.260 So, then that progressed to, you know, getting jobs and stealing from jobs, whatever I could, however way I could figure out a scam to get some money, stealing from jobs.

00:34:03.140 And that progressed to selling drugs.

00:34:05.160 You know, going upstate, there was no way I was going to sell drugs in the city, for the most part, because it was just saturated.

00:34:10.920 Everybody's selling drugs.

00:34:11.360 Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure, yeah.

00:34:11.980 It's like Starbucks everywhere, right?

00:34:13.560 Yeah.

00:34:13.800 So, I would go upstate New York with a buddy of mine I grew up with and sell drugs up there.

00:34:18.600 And then that progressed to, you know, I got wise and realized, you know what, I'm making good money doing this drug thing, but it's too risky.

00:34:26.360 It's really risky.

00:34:28.200 And so, let me try another round.

00:34:30.060 So, that's when I kind of migrated into high-level, you know, scams and stuff that I kind of opened up the book with what I was doing.

00:34:36.080 And then that's what led to me making tons and tons and tons of money.

00:34:40.320 So, that was kind of the progression of it.

00:34:44.040 How do you go from that to, I'm going to join the Navy?

00:34:48.140 I hit rock bottom.

00:34:49.140 Well, you know, I'll back up.

00:34:50.400 I got into a deal with a drug dealer that went really, really bad.

00:34:53.720 Really, really, really, really bad.

00:34:55.700 I sold him some products that were supposed to last for a certain amount of time.

00:34:59.680 Those products didn't last for a fraction of that time.

00:35:03.060 He came knocking on my door.

00:35:04.800 Not my door.

00:35:05.620 Let me rephrase.

00:35:06.360 He came knocking on my mother's apartment door because I was living with my mom.

00:35:09.580 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:10.260 And it pretty much threatened me.

00:35:12.260 And I knew his reputation, the type of guy he was, and his name in the streets.

00:35:18.400 He was a guy who meant business.

00:35:20.360 So, if he threatened you, best be sure he's going to carry through on that threat.

00:35:24.800 Right.

00:35:25.280 It's not empty.

00:35:25.920 And there was a lot of money on the line.

00:35:28.020 And so, you know, when that happened, that was kind of like my proverbial spanking.

00:35:34.260 And I say that because my mom would spank my brother and I when we were kids. 1.00

00:35:37.340 And one thing that that taught us, people say all the time to me, well, my wife particularly,

00:35:41.820 she would say early on when we had our first kids, she would say, you know, well, spanking 1.00

00:35:45.660 didn't keep you from doing the stuff that you did anyway.

00:35:49.000 And I said, yeah, that's true.

00:35:51.360 But one thing that spanking did did is instilled in me this idea that there are consequences

00:35:55.660 for actions.

00:35:56.660 Right, right.

00:35:57.500 And at some point, even with the selling drugs, I realized that the consequence was I'm about

00:36:03.700 to get caught.

00:36:04.440 So, let me stop this and shift into something else.

00:36:06.920 And so, when I got in that deal with that drug dealer, and, you know, I know people like,

00:36:10.940 well, you said you stopped selling drugs, but you do it.

00:36:12.720 Well, I'm not telling you what the product was.

00:36:14.360 I was someone, you got to read the book.

00:36:15.640 So, when he came knocking on, that was my spanking.

00:36:19.660 That was my, Remy, you got in way too deep, and you need to get out of this.

00:36:25.260 So, I got out of, I made him his money, and I got out of the game.

00:36:29.020 I was just like, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, but hopefully I can figure

00:36:34.360 it out.

00:36:34.700 And for six months, I pretty much laid around the house and did nothing, and my mom's

00:36:38.280 knocking on my door like, Remy, y'all ain't taking care of no grown man.

00:36:42.360 You need to get a job, you know.

00:36:43.800 So, and then finally, one morning, I was lying in my bed, and I heard this voice speak to

00:36:48.760 me.

00:36:49.840 And that voice said to me, it's clear as day, like, you need to get out of here.

00:36:53.680 You need to join the military.

00:36:55.620 And, you know, at the time, you know, I thought it was my subconscious speaking to me, but in

00:37:00.520 retrospect, you know, I truly believed that it was the voice of God, guided me.

00:37:04.260 I didn't believe in God, didn't want nothing to do with God, but I truly believed that the

00:37:08.240 Lord saw who I would later become, and he was trying to salvage what was left of me before

00:37:14.240 I destroyed it, you know.

00:37:14.360 Right, and get you on track, right?

00:37:15.880 Exactly.

00:37:16.620 And so, I remember just being at war with this voice and with myself and just saying, you

00:37:21.900 know, I hate the military.

00:37:23.320 I hate the police, you know, because I associate anybody in a uniform as a police.

00:37:27.180 There's no way I'm joining the military.

00:37:28.600 I like my clothes baggy, my hat's back.

00:37:30.520 I was like, I don't like authority.

00:37:31.980 I would make fun of the ROTC kids in high school.

00:37:34.520 I'm not wearing these, them tight uniforms.

00:37:37.000 And then finally, after battling with this voice and myself, I got out the bed and I

00:37:42.840 looked around the room and I saw nothing.

00:37:47.100 And what I mean by that, I was like, everything that I had done in my life had amounted to

00:37:51.960 nothing.

00:37:53.180 So, it was just like, what else do I have?

00:37:55.180 Yeah.

00:37:55.400 What do I have left?

00:37:56.240 And so, that's when I was like, okay, this is crazy, but here we go.

00:38:02.540 Yeah.

00:38:02.820 So, you didn't have any visions of joining the SEALs at that point?

00:38:07.300 Because it sounds like you were introduced a little bit in the new of the SEALs.

00:38:11.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:38:11.980 So, you know, my mom, she was big into the arts, really, really big into the arts as

00:38:17.280 a kid.

00:38:17.680 So, when she could, she would put money aside to take us to a movie, you know, here and

00:38:22.860 there.

00:38:23.080 And one day, she took us to see two, well, one year, she took us to see a movie called

00:38:27.160 Bad Boys.

00:38:27.740 That inspired me to kind of be an action guy.

00:38:30.260 I didn't know what type of action guy.

00:38:31.480 And then a year later, The Rock came out.

00:38:33.360 And that was the first time I was exposed to Navy SEALs.

00:38:35.580 Yeah.

00:38:36.020 You know, and that's when I was, in my mind, my eyes got wide and I was just, my eyes

00:38:39.200 got wide and I was just like, wow, like, if I could ever be anything in life, like,

00:38:43.420 I want to be that.

00:38:44.260 Like, I want to be a SEAL, you know?

00:38:47.100 But again, I was 15 at the time, in the Bronx.

00:38:49.700 You know, it was kind of like this far-fetched, like, far-out idea.

00:38:55.120 Yeah, yeah.

00:38:55.580 That's never going to happen. 0.97

00:38:57.100 Like, black dudes don't become Navy SEALs. 0.99

00:38:59.160 Like, I can't swim. 0.97

00:39:01.080 Like, that's not a, you know, it's like me right now saying, like, back to the president,

00:39:05.620 didn't think we said earlier.

00:39:06.700 Like, me saying it, like, I want to be president.

00:39:08.700 I'm running in 2020.

00:39:10.200 Like, the reality of that happening is absolutely nil, right?

00:39:13.400 Yeah.

00:39:13.780 Sure.

00:39:14.140 That's what it was like when I was like, I want to be a SEAL.

00:39:16.780 But, you know, as the days passed, that dream kind of dissipated.

00:39:19.920 But fast forward to when I went to the recruiter's office that day after, you know, deciding this

00:39:25.860 is what I'm going to do.

00:39:27.760 I went into a Marine Corps recruiter's office kind of first and, you know, that didn't work

00:39:31.900 out because there was nobody in the office.

00:39:35.100 That's the only reason?

00:39:35.920 There was nobody there?

00:39:36.620 There was nobody in the office.

00:39:37.400 Yeah.

00:39:37.560 I walked in and sat there for, like, 15 minutes.

00:39:39.600 Dropped the ball, man.

00:39:40.360 Yeah, and the guy was, there was coffee on the desk, but he must have been there taking

00:39:43.460 a dump or something.

00:39:46.520 And then I walked into the Navy recruiter's office and I saw this Navy recruiter there

00:39:51.660 and she was gorgeous.

00:39:52.580 And I was just like, not only am I going to get in the Navy, but this is going to be my

00:39:55.940 girl.

00:39:57.540 Did that go anywhere?

00:39:58.660 No, it didn't.

00:40:01.600 But, yeah, she, that's, I joined the Navy.

00:40:05.600 But there was more to it.

00:40:06.600 I had warrants out for my arrest.

00:40:07.840 Yeah, I was going to ask.

00:40:08.600 Yeah, she had two warrants.

00:40:09.860 I had a warrant in New Jersey, warrant in New York.

00:40:12.400 And, you know, when she ran my background and found out that I had the warrants, I got

00:40:15.680 ready to run out of the office.

00:40:17.320 She ran them right there while you were there? 1.00

00:40:19.140 Yeah.

00:40:19.460 Oh, so you were ready to go?

00:40:21.000 She picked up the phone and she made a phone call to, I don't know who, how she did.

00:40:26.440 Yeah, whatever.

00:40:27.100 It was back in the day.

00:40:28.520 And gave my social, gave my information.

00:40:31.200 What came back was I had two warrants.

00:40:32.500 Did you know?

00:40:33.200 No, I didn't know at all.

00:40:34.280 Oh, wow.

00:40:34.520 Okay. 0.98

00:40:34.920 I know I've done some dumb stuff. 0.95

00:40:36.440 For sure. 0.98

00:40:36.820 You know, I know I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

00:40:38.840 What were the warrants for?

00:40:40.180 Well, the one that I mentioned in the book that I recall is for disorderly conduct, disopening

00:40:47.860 of awful order.

00:40:48.800 Some little.

00:40:49.320 There's a story in a book where, which leads to me getting that charge.

00:40:53.660 You know, the second one, I honestly, I can't remember.

00:40:58.300 Like when I was writing the book, I was like, what is this?

00:41:01.020 What's that second charge?

00:41:02.400 Yeah.

00:41:02.500 What was that?

00:41:03.080 What was the warrant for?

00:41:04.660 I cannot remember to save my life.

00:41:07.240 And so I can't remember.

00:41:09.880 Maybe I did figure something out, but something I can't.

00:41:11.880 I can't.

00:41:12.180 Who knows?

00:41:12.600 Yeah.

00:41:12.780 But anyway, I had these warrants and I got ready to leave the office and she was like, 0.55

00:41:19.160 do you have a suit?

00:41:20.320 And I was just like, I was like, no.

00:41:22.740 She's like, do you have a tie and some slacks and some pants?

00:41:25.520 I said, yeah.

00:41:25.860 She said, come back.

00:41:27.460 So I went back to, what was it?

00:41:30.640 Went back like two days later or a day later.

00:41:33.220 I can't remember.

00:41:33.820 And she took me to both judges.

00:41:35.340 Really?

00:41:35.920 She was in a dress uniform.

00:41:36.520 Wow.

00:41:36.840 The judge in New Jersey, judge in New York, this was like 9-11 had taken place nine months

00:41:43.560 earlier.

00:41:43.920 This is June of 2002.

00:41:45.520 She advocated on my behalf and said, this guy's trying to join the military after an

00:41:48.760 act of war, but he's made some mistakes.

00:41:50.780 He can't join the military with a record.

00:41:52.840 Both judges unanimously expunged my records.

00:41:55.480 Is that right?

00:41:56.060 They were like, hey, this is patriotic.

00:41:57.400 What he's doing is patriotic.

00:41:59.100 And we went to MEPS and she fudged my paperwork at the MEPS. 0.97

00:42:04.180 I had to fill out this form.

00:42:05.860 Well, she had got my record cleared so fast.

00:42:07.780 I had to pay court fees and court fines.

00:42:09.340 Sure, sure.

00:42:09.960 And all that got settled.

00:42:11.000 And then we went to the MEPS and all of that.

00:42:13.000 None of that showed up in the system.

00:42:14.340 Because if it did, I wouldn't have been able to join.

00:42:16.280 Right.

00:42:16.640 And then on top of that, she fudged my paperwork so that I was cleared to get in.

00:42:22.640 And she told me, don't you ever say I ever did this for you.

00:42:26.400 And I later found out, man, that she did that a lot.

00:42:31.780 She died.

00:42:32.820 Is that right?

00:42:33.400 She died four years after.

00:42:34.960 And every time I think about it, I get emotional about it.

00:42:36.620 But she died four years after sneaking me into the Navy.

00:42:41.100 I found out after I finished writing the book.

00:42:43.520 How'd you know?

00:42:47.100 It's a crazy story, but I had finished writing the book.

00:42:49.480 My mom was at my house.

00:42:50.520 And my mom read the book.

00:42:51.460 She was the first person to read it.

00:42:53.280 She's like, wow, this is an amazing book.

00:42:55.480 And she said, Remy, you know what's going to happen?

00:42:56.780 One day, you're going to be in a book signing and petty officer.

00:43:00.420 And I had a different name for her.

00:43:02.140 Petty officer Mercado is going to come.

00:43:04.700 And she's going to say, remember me?

00:43:07.020 Yeah.

00:43:07.760 And I was like, yeah, but I couldn't remember her name for the life of me.

00:43:11.960 And so as soon as my mom said that, I was just like, Ma, I know how to, I can get her name.

00:43:19.280 Because I had received my military records after I got out, the old school ones.

00:43:24.960 So I ran to the storage place where I had my military records.

00:43:31.460 And I opened it up.

00:43:32.840 And I looked through.

00:43:33.960 And I go through all the papers.

00:43:34.900 And I see her name, Tiana Reyes.

00:43:37.840 I'm like, Ma, it's Tiana.

00:43:39.520 Tiana Reyes.

00:43:40.320 I'm excited.

00:43:41.680 And Google.

00:43:42.760 I went on Google.

00:43:44.060 Man, Google her name, Tiana Reyes.

00:43:46.380 Navy.

00:43:48.340 Popped up memorial page for her.

00:43:50.020 And I was like, I was crying, man.

00:43:52.740 Yeah.

00:43:52.940 Like, I was a mass memorial page.

00:43:55.000 She died in 2006.

00:43:56.880 Hmm.

00:43:57.760 You know?

00:43:58.480 And it hit me because what she did changed the trajectory of my life.

00:44:05.780 Sounds like it.

00:44:06.360 If I went into it, if that recruiter, Marine recruiter was in the office and he ran my background,

00:44:13.540 like the majority of recruiters, he would have put my name as a system, as a person with a record,

00:44:18.940 and I'd have been flagged.

00:44:20.760 And I know this for a fact because to this day, almost every month, once or twice a month,

00:44:26.540 I get messages on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter from people who are like, I want to join the military.

00:44:32.420 I want to join the Army or Navy.

00:44:33.620 I want to be a SEAL.

00:44:34.380 But I made this mistake when I was a kid.

00:44:36.280 Yeah.

00:44:36.820 I got this misdemeanor.

00:44:38.320 And no recruiter won't take me.

00:44:40.380 No MEPS won't allow me to join.

00:44:42.500 I'm trying to get waivers.

00:44:43.740 I'm trying to get this.

00:44:44.540 I'm trying to get that.

00:44:45.320 I got a message earlier this week from a kid who's like, how can I do it?

00:44:50.160 And I had to tell him, I said, I was blessed.

00:44:53.420 I ran into the one person that took a chance on me and did what they weren't supposed to do.

00:44:59.220 Why do you think she did that? 0.99

00:45:00.340 Because she was from the Bronx.

00:45:02.000 This is what her brother told me because this is a whole crazy story.

00:45:05.420 But after I found out she died, I told my mom, I also found out that she had a daughter.

00:45:10.680 Her daughter is now 15, Sierra, beautiful, awesome girl, loving girl.

00:45:16.400 And so I was like, mom, I'm going to find her daughter.

00:45:19.780 I'm going to find her family and I'm going to make sure that they know what Tiana did and how that affected my life.

00:45:26.760 And whatever way I could bless them, help them, I'm going to do that.

00:45:29.640 And I was flying to Atlanta to go advocate.

00:45:34.500 Crazy story.

00:45:35.260 I was flying to Atlanta to go advocate on behalf of this kid that was about to get sentenced to prison.

00:45:39.920 Prison. 1.00

00:45:40.680 He was in jail, got out of jail, did something stupid, violent. 1.00

00:45:45.500 Is this through the charity or the organization that you're here? 1.00

00:45:47.960 This is through a different organization.

00:45:49.140 I've worked with tons of nonprofit inner city at-risk programs like over the course of 10 years.

00:45:55.700 That's my passion.

00:45:56.700 One of my passions is going back to the inner city and giving back.

00:45:59.680 And I came across this one organization called Chasing Wild.

00:46:03.700 And essentially it's called Chasing Wild because they were going after wild kids and then putting them with wild horses so that they could train them.

00:46:10.600 That's cool.

00:46:11.080 Yes, that's cool.

00:46:11.680 And I'm on my way to go to court to fly to Atlanta to go to court to go stand by this kid's side to ask the judge to not sentence him to prison, but instead sentence him into the custody of the Chasing Wild nonprofit so that we could take him to this ranch to rehabilitate him.

00:46:30.180 Right.

00:46:31.420 I'm getting ready to board the plane and I'm going, and again, I Google like her name, you know, and I'm trying, you know, being an intel guy in the SEAL team, I'm like, okay, let me cross reference these names and connect to turn on.

00:46:42.180 Start using that training.

00:46:43.240 Using that training.

00:46:43.960 And I come across this one name right before my flight is about to board and I Google that name and a phone number pops up.

00:46:51.220 So I call the phone number and this lady answers. 0.98

00:46:53.880 I'm like, Hey, I know this sounds crazy, but are you related to Tiana Reyes?

00:46:57.140 She's like, yes.

00:46:58.540 I said, she did something for me.

00:47:01.660 Like, is there any way you can get me in contact with your family?

00:47:03.960 And this is New York.

00:47:04.480 She's like, what?

00:47:05.260 Like she's a New Yorker.

00:47:06.980 You know what I mean? 0.98

00:47:07.740 She's like, what you talking, what you kind of crazy? 0.84

00:47:09.600 I'm like, listen, I'm from New York.

00:47:11.240 I know this sounds crazy because I don't know my New York accent.

00:47:14.160 So she's seeing I'm kosher.

00:47:15.860 And then she was just, and then I explained her what happened.

00:47:18.120 She was like, you need to talk to her brother.

00:47:20.200 I was like, cool.

00:47:21.080 Can you connect me with him?

00:47:22.500 She said, yeah, I'm going to call him up right now and tell him to call you back.

00:47:25.520 I said, wait, at this point, my flight's about to take off.

00:47:29.020 I said, my flight's about to take off.

00:47:31.320 Like, if he calls me, can you let him know that, you know, I'm going to call him back when I land?

00:47:35.640 She said, where are you going?

00:47:36.260 I said, I'm going to Atlanta.

00:47:37.540 She said, he moved to Atlanta.

00:47:38.860 Oh, really?

00:47:39.940 He lives in Atlanta.

00:47:41.060 So I'm like, I'm going to meet him when I get to Atlanta.

00:47:43.640 So anyway, by the time I land, me and him had connected.

00:47:47.640 I go straight to his house.

00:47:49.120 Really?

00:47:49.900 In Atlanta.

00:47:51.200 This is all full circle because I'm flying to Atlanta to go stand in a court next to a kid to give him a second chance.

00:47:59.660 Right.

00:47:59.940 And I end up meeting the brother of the woman who did the same thing for me, like 13, 14, 15, 16 years ago.

00:48:10.800 It was like, yeah, like 16 years ago.

00:48:12.600 Right.

00:48:13.820 I go meet with him and he tells me the whole story.

00:48:15.980 He tells me all about her.

00:48:16.940 He's like, she was from the Bronx.

00:48:18.420 We grew up in Co-op City.

00:48:20.600 When she became a recruiter, she would drive around the Bronx, look for people we grew up with, selling drugs, making mistakes, doing stuff.

00:48:28.040 And she would pull them aside because they respected her.

00:48:30.400 Even though she was smaller, they respected her.

00:48:33.540 And she would tell them, listen, I see where your life is going.

00:48:35.740 Come with me.

00:48:36.120 Let's go join the military.

00:48:37.340 Really?

00:48:37.820 And that's what she did.

00:48:38.800 Wow.

00:48:39.200 She was like a Robin Hood.

00:48:40.540 And then he told me she did the same thing for me.

00:48:42.860 I got two misdemeanors.

00:48:44.520 She came back from a deployment and walked me to the Air Force, got me in the Air Force.

00:48:50.440 So that's what she did.

00:48:51.500 That was her service because she was Puerto Rican from the Bronx.

00:48:57.220 And she knew the statistics.

00:48:59.580 She knew that I had no other chance.

00:49:02.480 I had no other hope.

00:49:04.020 And she didn't want me to be another statistic.

00:49:06.660 And so that's why she did that for me.

00:49:09.520 And that alone, man, that propels me to really serve people, man, and not give up on people.

00:49:19.200 Because what if she would have gave up on me?

00:49:21.120 Right.

00:49:21.600 Could have gone a ton of different ways.

00:49:23.720 And to go back to your question earlier about what really pushed you to do all of that stuff to be a SEAL when you weren't qualified, she was one of them.

00:49:35.040 Because every day I was like, I can't let this woman down.

00:49:38.980 Even when I was at my first command and getting chewed out by my superiors and getting treated like garbage and I wanted to, the street, Remy, the street side of me wanted to come out and be like, yo, who do you think you're talking to, man?

00:49:51.160 And what kept me from doing that was her face would flash across my eyes.

00:49:59.260 No, I just believe that.

00:50:00.120 She took a risk on me.

00:50:01.260 She took a chance on me.

00:50:02.320 Because technically the government said I wasn't qualified because of the mistakes I made.

00:50:06.520 Yeah.

00:50:06.700 I cannot prove the system right.

00:50:10.300 I need to prove that she was right in the decision she made.

00:50:13.800 That's powerful, man.

00:50:14.980 Yeah.

00:50:16.260 How was your transition from Navy now to this elite unit within the SEALs?

00:50:22.480 What was that like?

00:50:23.480 It was awesome.

00:50:23.940 Did you start to make that transition and go through the training?

00:50:26.500 Yeah. 0.96

00:50:26.840 Well, the training sucked. 0.68

00:50:28.040 Yeah.

00:50:28.640 I mean, I've talked with enough of you guys that it's like, I mean, I don't have any idea other than the stories I've heard.

00:50:36.840 Yes, the training was horrible.

00:50:38.200 I mean, but Bud's for me was really, really hard.

00:50:41.620 I'm just going to be real.

00:50:42.700 I know guys are like, oh, well, Bud's for me was hard.

00:50:45.280 Was it?

00:50:45.900 What was the hardest part?

00:50:46.980 Was it the physical stuff?

00:50:47.960 I mean, you're fit.

00:50:48.640 You're in shape.

00:50:49.240 You know what? 0.78

00:50:49.860 I could take the beatings. 0.75

00:50:52.140 I could take the – and when I say beatings, I don't mean like – I mean like we call it beatings.

00:50:55.960 Yeah.

00:50:56.240 Like the hammer sessions push-ups.

00:50:58.020 Sure, yeah.

00:50:58.860 I could take that.

00:50:59.620 I could take the old course.

00:51:00.480 I could run like a gazelle.

00:51:02.000 I mean, I could take that.

00:51:02.900 I could take the name calling, the mind games.

00:51:04.780 I grew up in the Bronx, which the blessing of growing up in the Bronx is it fortified me.

00:51:10.020 Yeah, hard you, I bet.

00:51:10.880 When I was going through SEAL training, the cold, man.

00:51:13.820 Really?

00:51:15.220 Sitting in the water and –

00:51:16.500 The cold water, man.

00:51:18.680 That cold water ain't no joke.

00:51:20.580 That cold water will break a man.

00:51:22.260 Guys, let me call a quick timeout.

00:51:26.300 I want to share with you some information about our exclusive brotherhood.

00:51:29.580 And specifically, I want to talk with you about the term wild man.

00:51:32.900 I think all of us have some ideas of what that may look like and how he might behave, the wild man.

00:51:39.900 Most of us as men, unfortunately, have been conditioned to silence the wild man within us.

00:51:44.580 And while there's certainly times that that should be the case, there's other times where it may be required to let the wild man out of his cage.

00:51:53.320 And that's exactly, exactly why we're going to be discussing this inside of our Iron Council, the exclusive brotherhood, for the month of May.

00:52:01.540 Civilized behavior.

00:52:02.540 It certainly serves its purpose, but too many of us have locked away our wild nature and thrown away the key to be, quote unquote, good little boys.

00:52:13.020 This month will be all about rediscovering who we are as men and why it's critically important that we tap into our primal roots in order to accomplish more in our lives.

00:52:22.940 It's about tapping into more of who we are, which will yield inevitably better results.

00:52:28.160 So you'll band with us and you'll also be connected with a battle team of 14 other men.

00:52:33.720 You'll be challenged to take on some new adventures and new risks in your life.

00:52:37.580 And also you're going to be held to task in accomplishing some worthy objectives that you have identified for yourself.

00:52:44.060 So if you want to learn more about what we're doing in the Iron Council and all the features and benefits, and you want to lock in your spot, head to orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

00:52:54.040 Again, that's orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

00:52:57.040 And we're going to be talking about the wild man for the month of May.

00:52:59.780 You can do that after the show.

00:53:01.080 For now, let's get back to my conversation with Remy.

00:53:05.320 Yeah, it's easy to say that's not that big a deal when you're not cold and you're not wet.

00:53:10.680 Exactly.

00:53:11.280 Yeah.

00:53:11.900 And that cold, wet thing.

00:53:13.080 And the thing with me, especially when I was going through SEAL training, I had no body fat.

00:53:17.440 No body fat.

00:53:18.700 So I was going straight through you.

00:53:19.980 Straight through my bones and everything.

00:53:22.100 I mean, and then the swims were hard for me, you know, because you had to do a two-mile-time ocean swim once a week.

00:53:31.920 And I had just learned how to swim.

00:53:35.900 Yeah, yeah.

00:53:36.760 You weren't a veteran swimmer.

00:53:38.400 To get in the butts. 0.97

00:53:39.820 And here we are.

00:53:41.140 Let's get in the ocean with waves and currents and fins and sea lions and potential sharks. 0.72

00:53:48.900 And I'm just like, okay, I was just dumb enough to go along with it.

00:53:53.540 But it was a struggle for me, man. 0.84

00:53:55.700 Yeah.

00:53:55.820 It was a real, real struggle for me.

00:53:57.540 I mean, and then on top of that, the Pacific Ocean, you know, contrary to popular belief in San Diego, that water gets very, very cold.

00:54:06.820 No doubt.

00:54:07.180 Because it circulates down from Alaska.

00:54:09.080 Sure.

00:54:09.280 A lot of people think San Diego, the water's warm.

00:54:10.640 No, it's not.

00:54:11.280 Yeah, it's that current.

00:54:11.980 It's not like it is on Atlantic, you know.

00:54:14.080 And so, like, between halfway through the swim, hypothermia would begin to sit in.

00:54:23.780 My body would begin to lock up, like clockwork, you know.

00:54:27.720 And it was – no, I would say about three-quarters through the swim.

00:54:30.820 That's when my body –

00:54:31.360 Through the two-miles swim?

00:54:32.620 Two-miles swim.

00:54:33.040 So, at about the mile and a half mark, I would say, you know, that's when that hypothermia would get to me.

00:54:41.980 And at the end of every swim, I either had hypothermia or I was borderline hypothermic.

00:54:46.680 And my swim buddies, whoever they were, every swim, they would have to swim drag me.

00:54:52.300 Really?

00:54:52.860 After we checked in, because you would swim and check in at the – after your time and say time.

00:54:58.500 After we checked in, I was just done.

00:55:01.600 And they would have to swim drag me into the beach because I was – everything had shut down.

00:55:05.760 Yeah.

00:55:06.300 And because I wasn't a strong swimmer, I failed, like, every swim.

00:55:09.980 Is that right?

00:55:10.280 I went through all the SEAL training twice.

00:55:12.160 Oh, really?

00:55:12.920 I went through all the SEAL training twice.

00:55:14.800 I mean, I made –

00:55:15.180 Because of the swim?

00:55:16.020 Because, yeah, the first time I went through BUDS, I made it through – I made it – made through first phase twice.

00:55:22.340 First time I went – first time I got to Hell Week, I got medical roll because I had pneumonia, siphon, rhabdo.

00:55:26.560 I almost died the first time.

00:55:27.720 Rhabdo as well?

00:55:28.620 Yeah.

00:55:28.740 I just had a friend go through that a couple of months ago.

00:55:30.860 Yeah, rhabdo ain't no joke.

00:55:31.600 That's what it sounds like. 0.99

00:55:32.420 Yeah, it could kill you. 0.97

00:55:33.300 Yeah. 0.90

00:55:33.680 I mean, I was peeing blood, bro.

00:55:35.480 I mean, it was serious.

00:55:37.200 And I literally almost died.

00:55:39.940 I was in the ICU for like – and I went into Hell Week with pneumonia.

00:55:45.360 I knew I was a medic.

00:55:46.540 I was a corpsman.

00:55:47.220 So I was spitting up blood before I started Hell Week.

00:55:49.560 But I knew that if I went to the medics and told them that I would be –

00:55:52.900 You're not.

00:55:53.220 Yeah.

00:55:53.600 I would be medically rolled back and have to start day one of first phase all over again.

00:55:57.600 And I didn't want to start day one.

00:55:59.040 When does Hell – so is Hell Week not initially?

00:56:01.480 No, no.

00:56:02.080 Hell Week is like the fourth – at the time I was a boss, it's like the fourth week.

00:56:05.460 I didn't know that. 0.94

00:56:05.940 So you go through three weeks of getting kicked in the nuts. 0.96

00:56:07.660 Before you get to Hell Week. 0.98

00:56:08.600 And then you get to Hell Week and you get kicked in the nuts, right? 0.98

00:56:11.660 Both nuts. 0.98

00:56:12.440 Yeah, both nuts.

00:56:13.400 All nuts. 0.94

00:56:14.320 Somebody else is nuts too. 0.94

00:56:15.560 And so I went through three weeks of torture and then I get to Hell Week and the med checks

00:56:23.980 before Hell Week and I'm spitting up blood.

00:56:26.060 I'm just like I can't – I'm not going to tell them because I can't go through all of

00:56:29.200 this Hell Week.

00:56:29.420 Right, right. 0.70

00:56:30.180 And so I hit it and I went in to Hell Week and Hell Week just beat you down brutally.

00:56:35.440 And so the pneumonia got worse.

00:56:36.900 I got sight, swim-induced pulmonary edema.

00:56:40.400 My lungs were shredded.

00:56:42.540 I had rhabdom, but I just kept going and going and going until literally I crashed, man.

00:56:47.960 And they had to rush me to Bobo High Hospital.

00:56:51.140 I was in the ICU for like three, four days.

00:56:52.980 I was a mess.

00:56:53.600 So like you literally just fell down and you were done.

00:56:57.720 Yeah, I literally – and then the crazy thing was all the instructors were like terrified

00:57:01.660 because a guy in that class had died like a week or two weeks earlier.

00:57:09.700 So they were –

00:57:10.520 So it was like, man, like another one?

00:57:13.320 You know what I mean?

00:57:14.160 Oh, my gosh.

00:57:14.480 And so after I got out of the hospital, I was officially med-rolled and I had to still

00:57:20.820 start all over again anyway.

00:57:22.140 Yeah, it's not like you get to pick up where you left off.

00:57:24.540 No, I had to start all over again anyway.

00:57:26.380 So I started all over again.

00:57:27.300 So again, that goes back to the challenge, man.

00:57:29.300 I started all over again day one, went through – watched 230 guys quit again, went to Hell

00:57:36.440 Week, made it through Hell Week, got performance row for swims because I kept on failing the

00:57:41.340 swims after Hell Week.

00:57:42.580 But then once I learned my swims, I classed back up with a class that finished Hell Week.

00:57:46.740 And then I went to diving.

00:57:47.460 So you didn't have to go through that a third time.

00:57:49.280 So once you make it through Hell Week –

00:57:50.820 It's kind of like your checkpoint or whatever.

00:57:52.880 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:57:53.040 That was the checkpoint, which I was relieved.

00:57:55.420 And so after I made it through Hell Week, I got med-rolled two classes to 253.

00:58:00.300 And then they taught me how to swim in the swim program.

00:58:03.560 Right.

00:58:03.920 And then I got to dive phase and I failed swims.

00:58:06.120 And it was pride too, man.

00:58:07.320 It wasn't just me failing the swims.

00:58:08.840 I was going out partying and hooking up with girls, man, and beating my chest.

00:58:13.260 I wasn't just – I was just rambunctious, man.

00:58:15.900 Yeah.

00:58:16.080 And it was because in my mind, it's like I made it through Africa.

00:58:18.740 I made it through the Bronx.

00:58:20.640 I made it to Buds.

00:58:22.660 And I made it through Hell Week.

00:58:24.720 And it's like you can't tell me nothing.

00:58:26.440 Yeah, I'm unstoppable.

00:58:27.060 They told me that I'm beating my chest and partying and all of this and that.

00:58:31.180 And on the weekends, instructors would – they would give remediation, like voluntary remediation.

00:58:37.960 So you can show up on the weekends for anything you're struggling with.

00:58:40.820 You don't have to, but you can.

00:58:41.980 And I was too hungover.

00:58:43.860 I was at some girls' apartment, passed out.

00:58:46.560 So I would never make it in the morning.

00:58:48.720 So I ended up failing my first two swims in second phase.

00:58:52.740 Because in first phase, swim times were 85 minutes and drops to 80 minutes in second phase.

00:58:57.000 And that, again, that's for a two-mile, same thing, two-mile swim.

00:58:59.600 Two miles, two miles, yep.

00:59:00.160 Second phase is dive phase.

00:59:01.900 And then I got to Pool Week and I failed the Evolution in Pool Week.

00:59:04.760 And then they kicked me out.

00:59:05.860 They was like, go pack it.

00:59:07.520 So I got kicked out of Buds, went back to Camp Pendleton.

00:59:10.220 This time I'm in the infantry with the Marines as a medic corpsman.

00:59:13.560 And that was humbling, very, very humbling.

00:59:15.180 It was a humbling that I needed.

00:59:16.760 And then I was blessed to be able to get back to Buds early, half early after checking in.

00:59:22.080 And then I made it through.

00:59:23.500 Did you serve with the Marines overseas?

00:59:25.440 Yeah, I did one deployment with the Marines overseas.

00:59:27.520 So I did have to.

00:59:29.060 That was one of the things.

00:59:30.180 I had to do one deployment.

00:59:31.460 So after I did that deployment, I came back.

00:59:33.140 Was that Iraq or Afghanistan?

00:59:34.740 That was a MU.

00:59:35.660 Oh, OK.

00:59:36.180 That was a MU.

00:59:36.740 So I did the MU with them.

00:59:37.980 And then I came back.

00:59:39.140 And once I came back, my LPO became the career counselor.

00:59:43.640 And then he got me back in the Buds early.

00:59:45.620 OK.

00:59:45.880 And then I went back and started day one all over again and again.

00:59:50.380 And watched hundreds of guys quit again.

00:59:52.580 And then made it through and graduated.

00:59:54.640 And then went to the teams, man.

00:59:55.720 Went to the teams.

00:59:57.100 And that's where I felt super fulfilled, man.

01:00:01.200 I was just like, man, looking back on my life, where I came from, I was like, man, I made it.

01:00:09.260 This is where I want to be.

01:00:10.220 This is where I want to be, man.

01:00:11.420 I was able to, you know, I had a great freaking career, was able to go downrange, you know what I mean, combat deployments, kick down doors, just do crazy stuff that I never thought I would be able to do.

01:00:22.460 Right.

01:00:23.060 You know, and even the, I was an intel guy.

01:00:28.240 Yeah.

01:00:28.580 So I was able to do a lot of human stuff as well.

01:00:30.920 And so I was able to work in that world where I was collecting intelligence and meeting locals.

01:00:35.820 And, man, it was just, it was everything that, you know, I thought it would be.

01:00:41.420 And then, and it was a challenge when I ended up having to get out, you know, because, but I had to make, I made the decision because of my kids, man.

01:00:49.360 Like, you know, you know.

01:00:50.700 Did you have, you have three now.

01:00:52.400 I had two at a time.

01:00:53.060 Two at a time.

01:00:53.600 Okay.

01:00:53.900 I had two at a time.

01:00:54.480 And it was just one of those things where, you know, I mean, I had a great career, man, three deployments, man.

01:01:01.160 And, you know, though it was my dream to be a SEALs, just like growing up without a dad, I knew how important it was for me to be in my kids' lives.

01:01:10.060 And not that you can be in your kids' lives as a SEAL, but it's just like you're going so much, you know, between, you know, workup training, workup deployment, comeback training, you know, pro-dev, all of these different things.

01:01:23.100 And you deploy again.

01:01:23.920 It was just.

01:01:24.880 Well, not only just, just that, but it's, you're not going to, on vacation.

01:01:29.820 You're not going to a conference somewhere.

01:01:31.660 Yeah, you're not going to a conference.

01:01:32.480 Like, I wasn't worried about that, you know.

01:01:34.040 Is that right?

01:01:34.340 You know, being a SEAL, that comes with a job.

01:01:36.620 You know, you're going to go to hostile places.

01:01:38.780 I mean, so that wasn't the issue, you know what I mean?

01:01:41.040 Like, death wasn't necessarily the issue for me.

01:01:44.000 You know, I think I came to terms with death when I chose the job to be a SEAL.

01:01:49.440 Right.

01:01:49.880 You know what I mean?

01:01:50.600 And you almost died.

01:01:51.680 And I almost died.

01:01:52.640 You were already there.

01:01:53.460 And I almost died downrange, you know what I mean?

01:01:55.460 I could have been killed downrange.

01:01:56.900 But, you know, death was already, I had to come to terms with that.

01:02:00.040 So that wasn't an issue for me.

01:02:01.520 How was your wife with that?

01:02:03.560 I mean, she married. 0.62

01:02:05.100 Were you a SEAL when you guys got married?

01:02:06.300 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:06.860 So she married.

01:02:07.660 She married, but she didn't know what a SEAL was when we got met, when we met.

01:02:12.840 You know, like, I remember, like, I told her I was a SEAL.

01:02:14.880 She was like, what's that?

01:02:15.740 Like, do you swim?

01:02:16.500 Like, do you swim?

01:02:17.600 Really?

01:02:18.120 Oh, so, like, she really, like, legitimately did not know.

01:02:20.900 Interesting.

01:02:21.740 So she didn't know the difference, you know what I mean?

01:02:24.440 Yeah.

01:02:24.960 She was just like, okay, my husband's in the Navy, you know what I mean?

01:02:28.380 And I tried to explain.

01:02:29.960 SEALs would come around, team guys and their wives,

01:02:31.920 but she still was just, like, checked out until later she finally began to figure it out.

01:02:35.300 Yeah.

01:02:35.380 And my wife, she was, you know, when we met, she was in residency as a doctor.

01:02:39.100 Right.

01:02:39.740 And so she was just so focused on that, you know what I mean, that she wasn't,

01:02:44.780 she didn't worry too much about me at all.

01:02:47.100 She had other things to worry about.

01:02:48.040 She was doing her thing.

01:02:48.920 You were doing your thing.

01:02:49.740 I was doing my thing.

01:02:50.560 She was doing her thing, you know.

01:02:52.120 And so, yeah, I had come to terms with death, man.

01:02:56.020 You know, and going back to my roots, you know, when we talked about me being, you know,

01:03:02.100 an outcast and, you know, how I hated favoritism.

01:03:05.540 Another thing that I hated growing up in the Bronx was bullies.

01:03:09.100 You know what I mean?

01:03:10.660 Like, I hated bullies, man.

01:03:13.180 And so to be able to do the job of a frog man where you're going after bullies, in my opinion,

01:03:20.700 you know, that was, you know, if I died doing that, you know, I died doing what I love to do,

01:03:28.440 and that's going up against bullies.

01:03:30.480 Yeah.

01:03:30.880 Knocking on that door and saying, hey, what you got to say now type thing.

01:03:34.520 So, yeah, so the transition was pretty good.

01:03:39.560 It was good.

01:03:40.120 It was great.

01:03:40.700 Yeah.

01:03:41.400 So you get out of the military, and then where do you go from there?

01:03:44.780 Because the way I understand it, your transition wasn't, you know, wasn't incredible.

01:03:49.440 I wasn't like, hey, I'm going to ride off into the sunset.

01:03:51.460 I'm going to live life happily ever after.

01:03:53.340 Yeah.

01:03:53.540 No, it was, I got out, and, you know, I thought I was going to really get, because I had done some, like,

01:03:59.740 speaking, ministry speaking, you know, I've spoken at tons of churches.

01:04:03.480 As a matter of fact, I got into, you know, teaching ministry, you know, Christian teaching

01:04:09.460 and biblical teachings in the military.

01:04:12.520 It was through the teams.

01:04:13.180 Is that right?

01:04:13.620 Yeah, yeah.

01:04:13.980 My platoon, my platoon, she pulled me aside one day, and he was just like, hey, dude, you

01:04:17.820 know, there's not going to be any chaplains on where we're going.

01:04:20.200 We're going to be on a self-sustaining base like a fob in the middle.

01:04:22.340 No way, would you like to be the lay leader?

01:04:23.700 And I was like, sure.

01:04:24.440 So if we weren't on missions on Sunday, I was leading Bible studies.

01:04:27.320 Is that right?

01:04:27.760 And if we weren't on missions on Wednesday, I was leading, no, if we weren't on missions on Sunday,

01:04:31.660 I was leading church, or if we were on missions on Wednesday, I was leading Bible study.

01:04:35.480 And so I had gotten into, you know, preaching and teaching.

01:04:38.240 And so I would do like, well, when I got back from deployment, when I was in town and had

01:04:41.280 time, I would, you know, preach and teach at different churches.

01:04:44.060 And then I got into, I became a youth pastor at a church.

01:04:46.700 So I had been kind of doing that.

01:04:48.180 Sure.

01:04:48.260 So when I got out, I figured maybe that's what I'm going to do full time.

01:04:50.900 But that didn't really pan out, you know what I mean?

01:04:55.160 Like, and when it did, you know, ministry doesn't pay.

01:04:58.380 Right.

01:04:58.600 And I wasn't doing a ministry to get paid, you know, at all.

01:05:01.480 But it was just like, how do I provide for my family?

01:05:04.500 Yeah.

01:05:05.000 So it was a struggle because, man, dude, like, I didn't want my kids to be in the situation

01:05:10.920 that I grew up in.

01:05:11.700 I wanted my kids to have everything they needed and more.

01:05:13.700 And so after about like a month or two months, well, a few things happened, like a month

01:05:20.860 and a half after I got out, I got invited to Israel.

01:05:23.220 So with Kathie Lee Gifford.

01:05:24.580 Okay.

01:05:24.880 Because I've been, you know, I was kind of mentoring her son and we became really, really

01:05:28.300 good friends.

01:05:29.320 And I was mentoring him at the time.

01:05:29.840 Interesting.

01:05:30.500 How'd you guys get connected?

01:05:31.600 Through a ministry called I Am Second.

01:05:33.060 Oh, okay.

01:05:33.500 So it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a media ministry.

01:05:36.540 Yeah.

01:05:36.800 Where influential people.

01:05:37.140 I've watched some of your videos on that.

01:05:38.300 Yeah, yeah.

01:05:38.760 Yeah.

01:05:38.960 A bunch of influential people share their testimonies and stories.

01:05:41.640 Yeah.

01:05:41.700 So, um, she, uh, she, you know, I become friends with her son.

01:05:45.000 And so she invited me to go to Israel with her, her family.

01:05:47.680 And, uh, and when I got back, you know, you know, I asked, I asked the people, Hey man,

01:05:52.980 if you guys know of any jobs I can get, you know, hook me up or let me know.

01:05:56.340 And when I got back, still nothing really, really happened.

01:05:59.300 Uh, and then I, I, I started applying for GRS.

01:06:02.660 I was just like, you know what?

01:06:04.100 I need to go back to what I know.

01:06:05.480 I know I got out because I wanted to be with my kids.

01:06:07.800 What is it?

01:06:08.160 So you're talking about contract work, but what is GRS?

01:06:11.100 With the agency.

01:06:12.100 Okay.

01:06:12.580 Contract with the agency.

01:06:13.560 Okay.

01:06:13.680 So a lot of, a lot of seals, you know, they get out, they go that route, you know, cause

01:06:17.780 it's easy.

01:06:18.680 Right.

01:06:18.920 And it's the work, you know, and it's the work, you know, the money's really, really,

01:06:22.300 really, really good.

01:06:23.580 And, uh, and, and, you know, it's what I wanted to go back to, you know?

01:06:28.340 And so I started the process.

01:06:29.520 I started applying and I had like an interview that went well and the paperwork was all in.

01:06:34.960 And then all of a sudden, like I stopped hearing from the recruiter, you know?

01:06:38.300 So this is before the training started cause you gotta, you know, after you go through

01:06:41.840 the process, then you gotta go through this training pipeline for like, I think it was

01:06:45.440 like, it was like two months at the time or something like that.

01:06:47.480 And, uh, I stopped hearing from them.

01:06:49.720 So I figured maybe I didn't qualify.

01:06:51.280 Yeah.

01:06:51.640 You know, maybe something, you know, I didn't qualify.

01:06:53.100 And so, um, sat at home and I was in grad school.

01:06:56.420 I was like, all right, I'm gonna start grad school.

01:06:58.720 So I was in grad school and, and, uh, get my master's and it was May and my phone rang

01:07:03.340 one day and Slate on the other lines like, Hey, uh, I've been looking for you, Michael

01:07:07.860 Bay.

01:07:08.160 He's looking for former Navy SEAL, African-American being, being his next film. 0.90

01:07:14.260 You know, were you interested?

01:07:15.400 How'd they find out about you?

01:07:16.360 Uh, through a network.

01:07:17.860 So this woman and her husband, they've worked with Michael Bay's sister rock.

01:07:21.480 Oh, okay.

01:07:22.000 So, so her husband's a former SEAL as well.

01:07:24.420 And so he's been a consultant on a lot of Bay's films.

01:07:27.260 Right, right.

01:07:28.060 And so Bay's like, Hey, get me an Asian SEAL or a black SEAL.

01:07:31.420 Get me like a group of SEALs.

01:07:32.560 Yeah.

01:07:32.820 You know, he does it.

01:07:33.820 And so this, the, the, the wife hit me up. 0.99

01:07:36.380 Yeah.

01:07:37.060 It was just like, Hey, would you like to be in this project?

01:07:40.040 And I was like, Michael Bay, his first two films inspired me to be SEAL.

01:07:43.180 That's what inspires you.

01:07:44.340 Yeah.

01:07:44.460 It's like another full circle thing, you know?

01:07:46.180 So were you doing some consulting then for him for the films?

01:07:48.680 Is that, that's the way?

01:07:49.700 Well, no, no, no, no.

01:07:50.420 She, she was like looking for me to be on set as an actor.

01:07:54.240 Okay.

01:07:54.580 Yeah.

01:07:54.740 I wasn't sure if it went from consulting to actor or how.

01:07:57.560 No, no.

01:07:57.820 But I didn't, you know, and so I went to set and I, and the next day I was on set and

01:08:02.280 I did act.

01:08:03.140 Yeah.

01:08:03.460 But, you know, consulting minimally because it was just like the consulting was more,

01:08:08.140 you know, for myself.

01:08:09.260 Sure.

01:08:09.540 More for the diary.

01:08:10.320 Like, Hey, like, how would you hold the gun?

01:08:11.840 I'll hold like this.

01:08:12.340 Like, how would you move?

01:08:13.220 I'll move like this, you know, or this like that.

01:08:14.820 So that was just the first day.

01:08:16.160 And then, um, I thought it was supposed to be over after that.

01:08:19.220 But then like two weeks later, she hits me up.

01:08:21.300 She's like, pay like, she look, he likes it.

01:08:22.560 You could take direction.

01:08:24.040 Can you do three weeks?

01:08:25.120 We need to do a week in Arizona.

01:08:26.180 And then, and then, uh, two weeks in Michigan.

01:08:28.620 And I was like, oh man, I was like, yeah, but I'm supposed to go back to Israel.

01:08:31.780 Cause at this point, Kathy Lee offered me a job.

01:08:33.900 Oh really?

01:08:34.660 Yeah.

01:08:35.000 Doing what?

01:08:35.620 To, to, to help lead, uh, trips to Israel.

01:08:38.260 Oh really?

01:08:38.840 Cause she had started a ministry called the rock, the road, the rock and the road.

01:08:42.460 Okay.

01:08:42.840 And so, um, she partnered with a, with a college university in Texas, um, to seminary students

01:08:49.360 would go to Israel and I would come along with them and help with the teacher, you know,

01:08:53.300 help guide the tour and stuff.

01:08:54.740 And so I had already committed to the job.

01:08:56.980 And so she was like, whoa.

01:08:59.140 And it was two weeks in Israel.

01:09:00.620 So she, and, and lady was like, well, if you do the two weeks, you're not, you can't,

01:09:04.000 you can't do this.

01:09:04.840 Yeah.

01:09:05.000 And so I hit up Kathy Lee and I was just like, Hey, I got this opportunity.

01:09:08.120 She was like, super gracious.

01:09:09.320 Like, no, absolutely.

01:09:10.340 Just go for a week.

01:09:12.120 And so I, I flew to Arizona film for a week, flew to Israel for a week and then flew to

01:09:17.400 Michigan for two weeks.

01:09:19.160 And at the end of two weeks, um, a PA came up to me and was like, Hey babe, I want to

01:09:23.740 know if you'd like to be made cast and if you'd like to stay on until we wrap.

01:09:27.640 And I was like, sure.

01:09:28.820 And that's how, that's essentially how I got in.

01:09:30.880 And then, you know, I did more consulting on the film, but it was mainly, you know, I was mainly

01:09:34.260 an actor at that point.

01:09:35.220 But once you do a project like that, it just opens up more doors, which it sounds like it

01:09:39.040 has based on what you're talking about earlier.

01:09:40.860 Absolutely, man.

01:09:41.460 That's how I got my endorsement deal with jockey.

01:09:43.700 Um, you know, they kind of find out, found out about me and my story through transformers 0.98

01:09:47.480 and then, um, did some more commercial work, more consulting work.

01:09:51.600 And that's how I got my book deal.

01:09:53.160 When I went to go to the press for transformers, you know, Kathy Lee, I told you, you know, she

01:09:57.500 was just like, Hey, we need to do this book and got the book deal.

01:10:00.500 And then I got into writing films and here I am today, you know, just finished working

01:10:04.280 on Michael Bay's last film, Six Underground.

01:10:06.460 Um, we were filming in Italy and Rome and Abu Dhabi.

01:10:09.880 Did your family go with you?

01:10:10.920 No, no, no.

01:10:11.940 Cause my wife, you know, she's practicing.

01:10:13.260 Well, she's in, she's in medical.

01:10:14.580 Yeah.

01:10:15.200 But, uh, but yeah, man, he, you know, he gave me a small role.

01:10:18.600 I have a small role in this film.

01:10:20.360 Um, but I was a consultant on the film throughout the entire thing.

01:10:22.840 So I started pre-production and, and yeah, man.

01:10:25.680 And here I am today, dude.

01:10:26.720 I love it.

01:10:27.200 I love it.

01:10:27.820 What's on the, what's on the docket?

01:10:29.100 What's, what's next?

01:10:30.420 Wow.

01:10:30.820 Well, what's next is my book is going to drop May 14th, which I'm excited about.

01:10:34.980 Cause it's, man, it's been a great story, man.

01:10:37.740 I've read the book.

01:10:38.420 It's a great story.

01:10:39.320 Thank you, man.

01:10:39.820 I appreciate it.

01:10:40.480 I hate to even say story.

01:10:41.760 It's like, it's, it's your life, man.

01:10:44.060 It's not a story, right?

01:10:45.280 It's your life.

01:10:45.940 Yeah.

01:10:46.400 Yeah.

01:10:46.680 It's powerful.

01:10:47.460 No, thank you, man.

01:10:48.340 So I'm excited about it.

01:10:49.320 It's been getting tons of fantastic feedback, man.

01:10:51.900 Like everybody who's read it and we've got such amazing endorsements on it.

01:10:55.880 So I'm excited about finally getting it out and it hasn't been easy, man, getting it

01:10:59.640 done, you know, and, um, it hasn't really been easy, but, uh, it's, we're almost across

01:11:04.380 the finish line.

01:11:04.960 So I'm excited about that.

01:11:06.000 And, and, and just these films that I'm working on that I'm, you know, writing and now producing,

01:11:09.920 uh, super excited about that.

01:11:12.440 I told you early, I think we were off air at the time, but, you know, I wrote a script,

01:11:17.520 espionage thriller, and it's been getting tons of like buzz and traction in the Hollywood

01:11:23.180 industry.

01:11:23.680 And like, I didn't even expect it to happen.

01:11:26.220 You know, it was just one of those things where I put it out in the market and, and now

01:11:29.540 we're, well, we're at market now and we're getting offers, you know, people want to put

01:11:33.480 a big money to, to buy the script.

01:11:35.920 And so got that going.

01:11:37.980 I'm writing my second film now, which is about one of the first group of African-Americans

01:11:41.540 to serve in special operations.

01:11:42.860 It's a fascinating story.

01:11:44.460 It's a true story, true story.

01:11:46.160 Okay.

01:11:46.540 True stories.

01:11:47.220 Like I liken it to hidden figures, man, because it's one of those stories that like, I never

01:11:51.400 knew about the hidden figure story about the mathematicians who were African-American

01:11:54.780 women who worked at NASA.

01:11:56.960 I never knew about that until the film came out.

01:11:58.820 And I liken this story to that.

01:12:00.380 It's a fascinating story about the first, one of the first groups of African-Americans

01:12:05.300 to serve in special operations.

01:12:06.840 Very cool.

01:12:07.280 And I started writing the film in early February and I'm, I'm, I'm getting close.

01:12:13.160 I'm getting close to the halfway mark, but I'm looking to take that to market as soon

01:12:16.900 as we've done as well.

01:12:17.980 We just got an offer from a major, a major production company for the rights to my book

01:12:22.760 to turn that into a film.

01:12:24.420 Transformed?

01:12:25.000 Yeah.

01:12:25.260 Or, okay.

01:12:25.740 Yeah.

01:12:26.000 Transformed.

01:12:26.360 I mean, I've been, and the crazy thing about it is I've been getting requests for the rights

01:12:30.720 to the books before I even finished writing the book.

01:12:32.700 Right.

01:12:33.120 Right.

01:12:33.380 Because I wrote the book myself.

01:12:34.800 I didn't use a ghostwriter.

01:12:36.380 And, uh.

01:12:36.940 Which is, which is funny that that's, I think a rarity.

01:12:40.600 It is.

01:12:41.240 But it seems like that's the right thing to do.

01:12:44.560 It is.

01:12:45.000 It is.

01:12:45.320 You know, it's funny you bring that up because man, like I couldn't imagine not writing the

01:12:50.160 book myself.

01:12:51.060 Because as you're writing these other stories come to you.

01:12:53.640 It's your life.

01:12:54.080 Yeah, these other stories come to you and these, all of these things.

01:12:57.780 And then, you know, I get offended now when people ask, like, people say, you wrote the

01:13:02.120 book?

01:13:02.260 I'm like, yeah.

01:13:02.820 You sure you wrote it? 0.81

01:13:03.340 I'm like, yeah, I wrote the, you sure you didn't use the, yeah, I wrote the freaking 0.98

01:13:06.600 book, dude. 0.93

01:13:07.240 I sat at the table and figured it out, man.

01:13:09.320 It's a compliment though, right?

01:13:10.700 I did.

01:13:11.280 That's what, but I was talking to my editor a couple months ago.

01:13:14.420 I was like, cause I called up.

01:13:15.140 I was like, I'm getting so freaking frustrated.

01:13:17.200 Yeah.

01:13:17.580 Because every time I mentioned I write the book to certain people, people ask me about who wrote

01:13:21.420 the book, they get, like, they question me.

01:13:24.500 Like, I didn't do it.

01:13:25.420 And she's like, no, I'll just take it as a compliment.

01:13:27.480 I was just like, well, I can't.

01:13:29.000 Like, I'm smart enough to freaking write a book.

01:13:31.940 Cause I've been writing.

01:13:32.520 No, they're saying it's really good.

01:13:33.680 That's what they're saying.

01:13:34.460 Yeah.

01:13:34.520 I know, but it frustrates me.

01:13:35.640 Oh, I get you.

01:13:36.260 I hear you.

01:13:36.620 So, um, but yeah, man, uh, uh, people have been trying to get the right.

01:13:41.560 So anyway, we, we, we, we're looking at a company.

01:13:43.580 They, they, they asked us this week, they said, Hey, can you, can you not, can you look

01:13:49.200 at our offer and our offer alone at least first?

01:13:51.580 And then, and then before you go wide to a market, cause we don't want to get into a

01:13:55.780 bidding war and they, they committed to give us, give us a top dollar offer and offer

01:14:00.760 that would be the offer if we went to a bidding war. 0.58

01:14:04.680 Right.

01:14:05.240 So just not play the game and the time and the cost and everything else associated.

01:14:08.540 Exactly.

01:14:09.000 So my, my, you know, my thing I told my, my team is zero gravity.

01:14:11.960 Hey, as long as I can be the right on it.

01:14:13.760 Cause I want to write the screen.

01:14:14.640 I want to do the adaptation of the screenplay.

01:14:16.160 I mean, it's easy.

01:14:16.700 I mean, pretty much the way I wrote the book was like a screenplay.

01:14:18.940 You knew it.

01:14:19.480 Yeah.

01:14:19.800 Visual.

01:14:20.220 So, you know, I don't want to give somebody else money for something that's easy job

01:14:23.740 and then to, you know, be a producer on it.

01:14:25.660 So, um, and then, you know, get top dollars.

01:14:28.540 So we'll see.

01:14:29.060 Love it, man.

01:14:29.880 I love it.

01:14:30.500 Yeah.

01:14:30.640 Well, as we wind down, let me ask you a couple additional questions.

01:14:33.560 The first one, I prepped you for this one.

01:14:35.240 Yeah.

01:14:35.500 What does it mean to be a man?

01:14:36.720 Uh, what it means to be a man is keeping your word.

01:14:39.460 Um, uh, well, that's one, you know, keeping your word.

01:14:43.040 Um, that's something that's been big to me ever since I was a kid.

01:14:46.380 If you say you're going to do something, you absolutely need to do it.

01:14:50.800 No ifs, ands, or buts.

01:14:52.440 And if you can't do it, you need to inform that person that you can't do it way before

01:15:00.120 you figure out you can't do it.

01:15:01.920 So keeping your word, um, being a person of, uh, you know, a person of integrity, um, is

01:15:07.280 this is what it means to me, to me, to be a man.

01:15:09.720 Now you're not going to be perfect, which is another thing, you know, striving towards

01:15:13.760 perfection, right?

01:15:15.160 Striving towards perfection.

01:15:16.440 You're not going to be perfect.

01:15:17.480 You're going to make a mistake, but striving towards perfection.

01:15:19.380 And another thing, being a leader, man, and, and not, and, and, and not just in your home

01:15:25.040 and amongst your kids, but to people that within your sphere of influence, right?

01:15:30.940 You know, they're, they're, you know, just thinking back to Nipsey Hussle, you know, we

01:15:34.940 know him being, being in the news lately for untimely death, it's such a sad story, man.

01:15:40.380 And, and, you know, to me, he was the definition of a man.

01:15:43.140 Yeah.

01:15:43.320 He may have made bad decisions in the past, right?

01:15:45.920 Being in the game, but he was able to turn his life around and, and build something that

01:15:50.340 wasn't for himself, right?

01:15:52.120 He built something that was for others.

01:15:54.380 And, you know, that's the true definition of a man, a person who's going to be a servant, 0.97

01:16:00.040 you know, that's going to serve and not lured your leadership, you know, not, you know, say,

01:16:04.540 Hey, I'm a man, beat my chest.

01:16:06.100 Like, listen to me.

01:16:06.880 No, not lured your leadership, but serve those people that you're called to lead and lead them.

01:16:12.420 And, and so, you know, being a servant, I don't know, that's twofold, but being a servant

01:16:15.720 leader, you know, um, and giving back, you know, there's so many men out there that can

01:16:22.140 be Nipsey Hussles, you know, uh, they can go back, uh, to the inner city.

01:16:28.400 If they came back, came from the inner city, or maybe they didn't come from inner city, go 0.97

01:16:32.160 to a place where they know there's need.

01:16:34.660 There's, there's an absence of, of male role models.

01:16:37.460 There's an absence of male leadership, you know, going and serving young people, serving

01:16:42.320 women, serving domestic violence victims, serving those who were trapped in human trafficking.

01:16:47.840 Going.

01:16:48.060 So I guess ultimately how I sum it all up, what it means to be a man is to be a servant,

01:16:53.240 to be a servant.

01:16:55.860 If that makes sense.

01:16:56.840 I know that.

01:16:57.460 That makes sense.

01:16:58.180 I don't know if this is a controversial answer I'm giving, but that's.

01:17:01.400 Shouldn't be.

01:17:01.980 That's just, is to me what the answer is, you know, being a servant leader and getting off 0.98

01:17:05.980 your butt, man, and doing something, you know what I'm saying? 0.99

01:17:08.120 Like, seriously, man, just get off your butt and be a person of action, right? 0.99

01:17:13.760 That's another, I know I'm throwing out a lot of answers, but it just comes to me, but 0.99

01:17:16.860 be a person, a man of action, not this, you know, action, moving, spending time with your

01:17:25.660 kids, getting up off the couch sometimes, you know, going out and doing activities, staying

01:17:30.800 active, you know, all of these different things.

01:17:33.600 I don't know if that makes sense.

01:17:34.860 I don't know.

01:17:35.080 Makes total sense.

01:17:35.640 I think anybody listening understands the servant side of things.

01:17:39.080 Yeah, yeah.

01:17:39.460 If they've listened to any amount of time, they know what we're all about.

01:17:42.000 They know that's exactly what we're about.

01:17:43.620 Yeah.

01:17:43.860 Awesome.

01:17:43.920 So I really appreciate you sharing that answer.

01:17:45.220 No, absolutely.

01:17:45.740 How do we connect with you, man?

01:17:47.060 So I'm on every social media platform.

01:17:49.760 It's easy.

01:17:50.480 Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Remy Adelaike.

01:17:54.260 Remy's with an I, not a Y. 1.00

01:17:55.700 A lot of people spell it with a Y.

01:17:56.920 They do?

01:17:57.320 Yeah, a lot of people.

01:17:58.120 Really?

01:17:58.600 It's funny because I'll go places and they'll have my name on like a call sheet.

01:18:02.120 Yeah.

01:18:02.380 R-E-M-I. 1.00

01:18:02.940 And I'll go to like a lunch or something.

01:18:05.700 They'll put like a lunch in my trailer and it'll be R-E-M-Y. 1.00

01:18:08.940 I'm like, it's on the call sheet.

01:18:09.760 It's right there.

01:18:10.520 Just look at that.

01:18:11.620 It's funny.

01:18:12.560 But it's all good.

01:18:13.220 But Remy, R-E-M-I-N and Adelaike, A-D-E-L-E-K-E.

01:18:17.040 Again, I'm on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn.

01:18:19.760 My Transform Book YouTube channel, Simple Transform Book YouTube channel.

01:18:24.640 On that channel, I have a release what's called Cutting Room Floor Stories.

01:18:29.200 And those are all stories that didn't make it into the book.

01:18:31.260 So you're hearing from people who I sold drugs with.

01:18:34.020 You're hearing from people who I hustled with, from legal cell phone scams, girls I used to hang out with, family members, all of these people who are sharing stories.

01:18:42.180 And one of the reasons why I did that was because one of the few reasons why I did that was one, when you write a book, there's just so many stories that you can't make it in.

01:18:50.460 Right, right.

01:18:50.940 And now there's a way to be able to give back to the audience by giving them the stories that they're making.

01:18:55.420 And then two, when you watch the videos and then you read the book, now you're able to see who these characters are.

01:19:01.660 You're able to see who Corey was when I went through Siltra because he's sharing the stories.

01:19:04.860 You're able to see who Nia was because you're able to see the guy I hustled with and all of these things.

01:19:10.260 And then third reason why I wrote it is because I would say confirmation and validation.

01:19:15.040 Because, you know, when you write, when you have a story like mine, it's just an unbelievable story.

01:19:21.400 It is.

01:19:21.680 It's just like, what?

01:19:22.960 Like, you went through, but nah, like, what, your dad?

01:19:25.100 Nah.

01:19:25.680 And so I wanted to interview these people, not for them to share the exact stories in the book, but to share stories around it.

01:19:31.200 So I could be like, see, these are the people.

01:19:33.260 They were there.

01:19:33.920 I mean, you're hearing it from their mouth.

01:19:35.400 I'm not putting words in their mouth.

01:19:36.600 You know, a cool thing, I was able to go back.

01:19:38.060 I went back to Africa and I interviewed one of my dad's mentees.

01:19:43.260 The hell is that right?

01:19:44.100 Yeah, and he has a, I have a video of him on the cutting room floor.

01:19:47.120 And it's just, I learned so much from him about my dad as well.

01:19:49.840 But, you know, just, you know, it just adds that extra validation to the story.

01:19:54.120 So anyway, transform book.

01:19:55.780 If you go there, you can watch about 40 videos on there.

01:19:58.220 And then if you pre-order the book, you only have about, the book comes out May 14th.

01:20:03.480 So you only have about two, three weeks to pre-order in order to access exclusive video stories.

01:20:09.100 So they are exclusive video stories that the general public are not getting.

01:20:14.120 So for three weeks, last, you've got three weeks left, pre-order the book if you want

01:20:17.800 to get 17 exclusive video stories that you will not be able to get anywhere else.

01:20:21.300 Right on.

01:20:21.640 We're going to sync it all up.

01:20:22.600 Yeah, man.

01:20:23.040 Remi, I appreciate you, man.

01:20:24.140 Taking this time.

01:20:25.500 Your story is absolutely incredible.

01:20:27.160 It's inspiring to me as I went through the book and read the book.

01:20:29.520 And then just having this conversation, I can tell that you're a good human being.

01:20:33.900 Thank you, my man.

01:20:34.120 You know, you got a big heart.

01:20:34.960 You're doing lots of big things.

01:20:36.260 And man, I'm honored to know you.

01:20:37.560 Thank you, my brother.

01:20:38.180 I'm honored to know you and I appreciate you.

01:20:39.920 Appreciate all you do.

01:20:40.800 I'm following you, tracking you on Instagram, man.

01:20:42.920 I love your messages and I love the positivity that you spread, brother.

01:20:45.900 So thanks for having me on.

01:20:47.000 Thank you.

01:20:47.460 Yes, sir.

01:20:47.800 Gentlemen, there you go.

01:20:50.400 My conversation with Remi Adelike.

01:20:52.140 I told you guys this one was going to be powerful.

01:20:54.260 It was so inspiring to be able to sit down with him shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee,

01:20:57.420 and be able to have this powerful, powerful conversation that definitely impacted me.

01:21:03.340 And I'm going to be taking a lot of what he talked about and the lessons that he shared

01:21:06.980 into my own life and continue to transform my life in a powerful way.

01:21:12.080 So make sure you connect with us on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter or YouTube or wherever

01:21:17.700 you're doing the social media thing.

01:21:19.500 I know Remi is very active on both Instagram and Twitter as am I.

01:21:23.020 So make sure you connect with us.

01:21:24.160 Let us know what you thought about the show.

01:21:25.600 Let us know what your biggest takeaway was, what you're going to be doing in your life to

01:21:30.080 change or improve who you are and transform your life based on what we talked about today.

01:21:35.120 I know he loves the feedback.

01:21:36.300 He's very engaged.

01:21:37.140 I love the feedback.

01:21:38.080 I'm very engaged and it'd be great to hear from you.

01:21:40.680 That's what we're all about.

01:21:41.380 We're all about helping each other out, lifting each other up, sharing stories,

01:21:44.920 and ultimately becoming better and more capable men.

01:21:48.680 So guys, with that, I'll sign out for today.

01:21:50.900 As I always do, I want to close with a thank you.

01:21:53.220 I appreciate you being on this path.

01:21:54.680 I would ask humbly that you share this episode, that you pick up a copy of Remi's book.

01:21:59.700 You'd be absolutely blown away with the stories that he shared inside of that book.

01:22:04.680 And a lot of them we didn't even discuss in this conversation.

01:22:07.560 And let's stay connected.

01:22:09.120 So guys, go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

01:22:14.160 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:22:17.100 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

01:22:20.800 we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

01:22:24.280 I'll see ya.

01:22:26.520 I love you.

01:22:33.320 I love you.

Order of Man - April 23, 2019

Transform Your Life ｜ REMI ADELEKE

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