Trying Times with Kids, No More Jiu-Jitsu, and Preparing for Red Dawn ｜ Ask Me Anything
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 4 minutes
Words per Minute
167.71494
Summary
In this episode of the Ask Me Anything podcast, we talk about the importance of being a man of action, taxes, and why you can call yourself a man even if you don't have a job. We also talk about a call out to Andrew Huberman and his podcast, The Essentials.
Transcript
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if he woke up this morning and had all his vision back today would be the best day of his life if
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he had all of his vision but yet today i woke up with all of mine i woke up with my hearing i woke
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up with with my body working but yet what today's not a great day for me yeah it gives me a perspective
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of of being grateful for my faculties right for my health and and really puts any of my complaints
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in in perspective you're a man of action you live life to the fullest embrace your fears
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and boldly charge your own path when life knocks you down you get back up one more time every time
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you are not easily deterred or defeated rugged resilient strong this is your life this is who
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you are this is who you will become at the end of the day and after all is said and done you can call
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yourself a man kip what's up man so great to see you we were uh talking taxes before we hit record
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and now both of us are in a bad mood absolutely absolutely i'm impressed that you're doing your
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taxes right now oh no taxes for 2023 we're finalizing got it got it got it so don't be impressed man you're
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like getting ahead of it our profit and loss is already figured out behind it got it yeah well
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no i don't think i've done my taxes on time for probably i don't know five ten years that i've
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always had to extend it's always a mess yeah it's i'm gonna do it right this year though because
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most people don't know this you were saying that if they're w2 employees they're never gonna know
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because the taxes just get taken from their check and they see what their net take home pay is but
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when you're an entrepreneur you're you are writing that check out yourself and not only are you writing
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it out yourself you have to write it out quarterly yeah if you don't write it out quarterly then you get
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hit with uh interest and penalties so that's part of what i'm paying now so i'm gonna make sure we do
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it right this year and get everything paid as it should have been paid and hopefully we don't have to
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get dinged with an extra we'll just say thousands of dollars we'll say unnecessary yeah yeah five
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five or four times so yeah anyways there it is well we're gonna do this a little different today i'm
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gonna ask you questions this is the very first podcast of the year this is gonna be released on
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january 1st 2025 so very first podcast of the year i'm i'm uh begrudgingly noticing a trend that
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more and more people like to hear more about what you have to say on the ask me anything than i do so
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i figured let's give the people what they want we'll talk about that today hardly i'll tell my
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mom to stop sending you messages yeah she's like setting up alter ego and fake accounts all these
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people like totally uh normally we do announcements i don't i don't think we have any announcements but i
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did want to do a call out and i wanted to bring this up because i mentioned it briefly it was probably a
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month or so ago about something andrew huberman is doing that i really appreciate do you remember
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me talking about this i remember us talking about it and you're like remind me kip to bring that up
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and i never got and i totally forgot to remind you well people know if they've been listening to the
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podcast and you know i like andrew huberman i think he's an intelligent person i think he's got a
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lot of great information to share i'm not as smart as him so when i hear it i'm like this is all foreign
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to me and it's two hours of a foreign language or longer that i can't understand he must have
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he must have heard me say that though because he started doing on his podcast it's called i think
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the essentials and it's usually about 30 to 40 minutes of a in-depth broad topic that he narrows
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it down to the relevant and pertinent information i'm like there you go that's what i can handle
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which has been really cool i was listening to one the reason i wanted to bring it up i thought this
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was fascinating i think sometimes guys like huberman and other jordan peterson and other
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intellectuals explain concepts that common sense already tells us is true but there's always a
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little bit of information that you can get from it and i think the way my brain works is i don't need
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all the details all the intricacies all the ins and outs does it work why does it work got it do it
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but not everybody's like that but he was talking about uh plasticity in the brain narrow plasticity
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which is a fascinating subject to me if you don't know what it is it's basically the brain's ability
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to adapt and adjust and pivot it's really cool yeah so he was talking about where when you become an
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adult how quick or excuse me how slowly your brain rewires itself relative to when children when you're a
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child when you're a child it happens really fast you pick up on feedback and your brain and synapses
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change quickly but when you're an adult it's significantly longer it's kind of like the old
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adage you can't teach an old dog new tricks yeah that's a little bit of of that adage but they did
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some studies a colleague of his and they had people wear these prism glasses and there would be for
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example a pen on the desk and the prism glasses would make it look like the pen wasn't where it is but
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seven or ten or fifteen degrees off and then he would tell people reach for the pen and pick it up
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and they'd miss it you know they'd miss it and over time they'd gradually learn where it is and very
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quickly start to make those adjustments but the the few things that i thought were interesting was
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number one he said that the best factor or the most important factor for neuroplasticity is making
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mistakes yeah it's making errors it's being frustrated with not getting it right that is
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your brain's mechanism for telling you something's not working we need to make a new wiring or new
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connection because this is not working and he said that the people who have the aptitude for
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perseverance through frustration are the ones who can hardwire their brains the fastest and the most
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most effectively over time he also said that because adults take longer and developing neuroplasticity
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and new habits new routines new thought ideas that you can accelerate that as an adult based on the
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stakes so when they did the study they had these individuals do the pen thing but there's no real stakes to
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that but then they did the study and said okay you can eat only after you get this right
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and when eating was thrown into the equation the neuroplasticity the ability to do it faster picked
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up that much quicker too which i thought was interesting so the stakes at which you're playing your ability to
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make mistakes and be okay with it and then he also said as an adult that you have to make incremental
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changes it's very hard they put those prism glasses on and it's very hard for someone to change if the pen
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is off by you know 45 degrees or whatever it might be but if the pen is off by 7 degrees and then 14
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degrees and then 20 degrees and then 40 degrees and so on we're able to adapt better if it's incremental
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changes which leads us to a lot of the things we're already doing in our battle plan yeah we're not
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telling guys to solve all their problems as quickly as they possibly can we're saying just take one thing
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just one thing we're going to work on this one thing do everything else the same but work on this
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when you get that wired and it does wire then we can move on to the next thing so i think it just kind
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of supports a lot of the work that we've been doing that i believe we've just intuitively known
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but it's cool to know the data and the science behind it yeah i love that he i picked that up
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from him a few months ago he was doing an episode on uh what he called like it's the same thing stress
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is an enhancer right with a growth mindset if you have a growth mindset and you involve stress
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your ability to change and learn skyrockets and it's interesting he didn't say this but i i've come
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to my own thought process around this growth mindset with stress not just stress all by itself
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and i think it's fascinating because when you start looking at your childhood
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did did stress generate change for a lot of us absolutely is the stress or the change always
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positive the answer to that is no sometimes the lessons learned aren't good lessons
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right right yeah true they're defining moments that we get to live with as adults
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so the growth mindset being involved with it is what's critical right stress in itself is an enhancer
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yes but an enhancer of what for what bad negative self-talk and self-confidence or
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an enhancer for growth and a growth mindset is what the belief in one's individual to rise above to
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continue to learn and get better right and so right that mindset is critical with the stress you could
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just have the stress and now we're we're learning all kinds of things that are enhancing us but they
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may not be to our benefit yeah yeah and the only other thing i would add to that is the stakes so you
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have the growth mindset the the the um stress and then the stakes at which you're playing and the
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interesting thing i i think about it anyways is that you can manufacture the stakes yeah you know for
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example if if you're like oh going to the gym is hard but you're like no if i don't go to the gym i'm
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gonna die now you're not gonna die today probably if you don't go to the gym at least you're not gonna die
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from probably health being out of shape or overweight it might but probably not but if you
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connect it to hey if i don't take care of myself and do this on a consistent basis i'm literally
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putting my life i'm shaving years off of my life those are greater stakes that causes the change to
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happen quicker and more effectively totally i love it yeah all right man well let's jump into questions i
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wrote all of these questions down i did not solicit any of these questions from everybody these are
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questions i've wanted to ask you some of them are fun some of them are interesting maybe thought
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provoking and some of them might be a little bit sensitive so let's get into it let's go my my first
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question why are you the way you are what's wrong with me you mean exactly we'll get into that we'll break
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that down a little bit more throughout the uh throughout the episode all right here's here's
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the first real one okay who is your favorite child and why oh man i'm kidding because my kids listen
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every so often all right i'm gonna get you some real ones here oh yeah sure sure i trust you now because
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the last two questions you know you said that so all right here we go um complete pivot do you have
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any lingering contention and animosity towards your ex-wife and if so what is it and how have you dealt with
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it no really no i don't i don't um i did right for a long time absolutely i
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a term i like to use i had a heart at war towards her i felt that um
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our approaches of whether to stay married or to get divorced that we weren't aligned
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um there's areas that i felt like at the time she didn't handle it well threw me under the bus maybe
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look bad you know i i had all these stories um that i did have animosity towards but absolutely not
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anymore and and luckily not anymore because it doesn't serve her and it doesn't serve our kids for
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me to have any of those feelings towards her and and and and to be really clear i'm not saying i'm
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pretending like oh i just pretend everything's okay actually no i i think i finally got to the point
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where through empathy um i chose to love her and appreciate her and and and have some empathy
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around her circumstance and the tough job that she had um as a mom and realizing that a lot of the
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burden and suffering that that we think are at the hands of other individuals are often them just
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dealing with their own circumstances and there's a lot of stuff i took personal that i shouldn't have
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taken personal um and so no not not at all hmm was there a was there a pivotal moment where
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i mean i'm not sure it was like a hallelujah type moment but was there a moment that you can
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remember where you thought oh my gosh i'm not angry or upset or frustrated anymore yeah i don't know if
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there's a particular moment um i i would say this though as long as i held on to try trying to fix
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things or get back together with her it was it i still had motive and that motive was to like win her
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back or to do something and it was selfish and and so it wasn't really like i would say when i let her go
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like really truly let her go and be okay with with our marriage being over that wasn't until i did that
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i wasn't whole and complete with the situation because i had alternative motives still you know
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trying to manipulate her or hope that she's going to like me or you know what i mean other things and
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it wasn't until i really let go that that i was kind of whole and complete but fairly early on
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i i realized i was being a victim i was blaming her for everything i was taking zero accountability
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and and i i got to that i mean i say this i'm like i got to that point fairly quick
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probably four years post-divorce you know it took years for me to really be okay with her being her
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hmm interesting all right next question if you could never do jujitsu again
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nope but you could choose any other martial art yeah nah i'm out but you could choose any other
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martial art just one what would it be muay thai really yep yeah absolutely what do you like about
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muay thai obviously heavier striking muay thai is basically kickboxing with knees and elbows correct
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absolutely yeah okay i think it's the most practical i may get grief for this i think it's the most
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practical stand-up out of them all right use of all six points knees elbows great kicks
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uh has some great boxing feints i i i think it's an amazing martial art do you do you train muay thai
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at all right now um not right now i have in the past yeah yeah why why not just because you want to
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focus heavy on jujitsu or have you thought about rounding that out oh i totally thought about rounding
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it out still like i would love to do some just a time thing or what yeah time if i had to choose
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yes yeah okay well there it is you have spoken kip has spoken jujitsu is best muay thai a second best
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all right um who well who would win if it was kip at peak muay thai performance and kip at peak
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jujitsu performance who would win that fight well if we go to the self-defense element the jujitsu guy
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i would because i would just walk away no okay cute and clever but give me a real answer
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you guys are in an altercation there's a fight there's peak muay thai kip peak jujitsu kip who
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wins i think jujitsu wins wait for the kick shoot in take him to the ground grab his leg take him to
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the ground yeah hopefully you just don't get hit too hard before that happens essentially don't get
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knocked out yeah yeah all right this one's a bit of a sensitive one so let me know how you feel
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about it so you have a son and i'm using this term you can use a different term if you want or maybe
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there's something more appropriate but you have a son with a degenerative physical disability is that how
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you would is that fair yeah yeah i think that's okay obviously that weighs heavy on him but how does
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that weigh on you personally and what types of conversations do you have with him since you don't
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fully know what it's like to go through what he's going through yeah yeah um to give some context so
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he has usher syndrome um at birth he failed his hearing test uh within a couple months as an as an
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infant he had little hearing aids so our mindset from a parenting perspective was we have a kid that's
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deaf and back in the day you would think deaf is like you hear or you don't hear deaf is
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actually a spectrum and so he's legally deaf but he has hearing and if he uses his hearing aids he
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can he can hear right but it's it's still bad right like you're still like yelling right sure yeah
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um and then roughly i think when he was about maybe 12 or 13 um he we noticed that he was like tripping on
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things especially at night time really easily um had his eyes checked uh and his retina um is failing
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him and it's getting worse and worse and and then that raises a red flag like oh this is a genetic
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thing because when hearing loss and vision both are degenerative that's usually usher syndrome is what
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it's called and the the vision typically doesn't become an issue for most people with usher syndrome
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until they're like in their 30s so my son getting this at 13 was obviously devastating to him but like
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even doctors were like you have six months and it might be lights out so luckily for him it hasn't been
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as aggressive as we as we thought but he's probably down to about five percent vision um right now so
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if you were having a conversation with him he can look at your eyes or your mouth
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that's how small and and just think of it as like a the whole of the donuts getting smaller and smaller
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and all peripherals non-existent right and so um so he has vision loss so back to your question
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um what was the first part of that how do i deal with it sorry well i said it weighs heavy on him
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that's obvious you know and i i i really want to hear how that weighs on you as a father and as a man
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yeah well i mean i think as a parent yeah all you really want for your kids is for them to have a good
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life right and experience life and and to find happiness and peace and joy uh and grow and and
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find fulfillment uh in their lives and so by default you know when we first found out and even now it eats
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at you that that there's a an experience of life that that he won't get to his experience ever right
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um now certain elements like he will be but um you know but it's limited and and it comes with the
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burden you know there's some big things that cross my mind like um will he get married uh is a girl
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that's going to choose to marry him she's signing up a big responsibility more than most women ever will
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and and will that deter women from wanting to be with him and to marry him um you know i'm fearful of
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the morning or the day i get a phone call where he says dad i woke up this morning i can't see anything
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anymore i hope that that never happens but i feel like
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um and there's a sense of and and he might even deal with it better than i would but i think there's a
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sense of loneliness in that in that experience and no one's experiencing it with him just him
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um and ironically like the burden on me are you joking like um what do i have to complain about
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yeah so so if anything what what helps me and i've used this analogy a little bit but if he
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woke up this morning and had all his vision back it would be the best day of his life probably
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today today would be the best day of his life if he had all of his vision
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but yet today i woke up with all of mine i woke up with my hearing i woke up with with my body
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working but yet what today's not a great day for me you know so perspective yeah it gives me a
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perspective of of being grateful for my faculties right for my health um and and really puts any of my
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complaints in in perspective yeah what types of conversations are you having with him
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the way i framed the question was knowing that you don't to your point just a second ago you don't
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have to deal with that you don't know fully what it's like to be in his shoes so what types of
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conversations are you having around that and still realizing i don't really know because i'm not in
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your shoes i've never been there before yeah you know it's it's interesting i i don't feel
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like many people could deal with his circumstance the way he can
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i really don't i do you think he was born born with the the characteristics or whatever it is that
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make him able to deal with that or is that something he's learned because of the disabilities
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he has i think it's it's him losing his hearing when he's younger set him on a path of having to
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deal with something that that he could have easily claimed as unfair and all these other things but he
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chose not to and so i think it did prepare him to deal with his vision uh later on i think there's an
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he's a very spiritual young man um he's a saint um in many many ways and so i i think it's probably a
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combination of his personality but also a combination of his condition that has really helped him um rise
00:24:10.240
to the occasion and and i really don't feel a lot of people would like if i compare him to our other
00:24:16.240
kids and they know this you know if they had the same condition they they would not handle it even
00:24:22.320
close to as well as he's handled it so he he has a an aptitude and an eternal perspective that really
00:24:28.880
has allowed him to to deal with his circumstances well i imagine it's in his circumstance it's i i don't
00:24:36.080
know how could i but i imagine it would be significantly harder than if somebody was just born completely deaf
00:24:42.960
and completely blind and or blind like it's way it would be what i don't want to say easier that's
00:24:49.120
not the right way to look at it maybe it's just harder knowing what you've had and you're losing
00:24:54.960
that you know yeah and i think the fact that the vision has been slower has really allowed him it like
00:25:03.600
it's been it's been degreasing like i mean how long has it been
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you know for eight years it has gotten a little worse a little worse a little worse and so the
00:25:14.240
gradual worseness has not made it like black and white like oh my gosh i lost all this vision
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if you ask me today is it worse today than it was yesterday you'd say no and the answer to that would
00:25:23.520
be no for the last eight years you know what i'm saying so yeah so that has helped him get into
00:25:30.080
it i think a little bit as well yeah i imagine there is a day hopefully in the not too distant future
00:25:36.880
where he would be able to put on a pair of glasses that would basically sync with his brain and the
00:25:44.320
glasses would be cameras and the brain would be reading the images that are coming through the
00:25:48.640
camera i i don't think that's too far-fetched i think that's probably not that far away for
00:25:53.680
something like that to happen yeah i don't think so either and and back to your question because i
00:25:58.240
think it was a a good one i want to make sure it gets addressed you know conversations with him have
00:26:03.840
always been don't don't let don't let your situation dictate how you show up and and he's been great
00:26:14.480
from that perspective you know i've gotten in trouble with his mom for letting him drive and all kinds of
00:26:21.520
things primarily just because i'm like it's his vision is going to get worse and you know i'm going
00:26:28.080
to let him drive i don't care you know now not anymore it's bad enough that it'd be reckless he'd
00:26:33.920
kill us all but when he was younger when he was like 13 absolutely um because i realized that was
00:26:40.800
going away he still skis we went skiing last last year so you know blind guy on the ski slopes plowing
00:26:48.720
down the mountain now he wears a vest that says blind skier you know and i kind of yeah and i stay in
00:26:55.440
front of him to try to like eliminate any obstacles that might be coming his way um so it's great he's
00:27:04.160
still living life still doing things we went ice skating last week you know and he was nervous about
00:27:09.200
it because it's dark outside so his vision's almost like 100 gone in dusk and dark um but he still
00:27:15.840
got on skates and i skated and so he's still living life that's awesome yeah that's awesome
00:27:21.920
um okay another pivot here if order of man was your business and you could do whatever you wanted
00:27:30.480
to do with the organization what's the first thing you'd either change about the way that we do it or
00:27:38.000
add to what we do yeah put me on the spot here i am man i got a lot of these that are on the spot
00:27:46.400
um no i want to know the truth i mean i'd want to know i value your opinion so yeah we've talked
00:27:51.760
about this i i think there it's been highly valuable for men to meet you know when we used to do those
00:27:59.520
meetups you we would have guys rally on teams to try to get their whole team there and that was special
00:28:06.240
and a lot of guys on these teams go out of their way and have events across the nation they fly in they
00:28:14.240
make things happen so they can see each other i think we could facilitate that better um i would
00:28:20.560
i would love to get to a point where when you join the iron council based upon your geographic location
00:28:26.640
you get four teams to choose from based upon that geographic so then that way when we do an event in
00:28:33.120
that region the probability of that team being there skyrockets and and i would regionally assign
00:28:39.760
people to teams um just to help promote that possibility we could pro we could probably do
00:28:47.680
that now we could just start a team and and i've i want to find the most densely populated areas of the
00:28:55.360
united states initially for the iron council and then start a team based on that that region yeah so
00:29:02.000
good i like that i think we're on the same page there um if you could change one physical
00:29:09.120
one mental and one emotional characteristic about yourself what would it be
00:29:19.440
one physical well just here we'll go through each of them physical characteristic oh man
00:29:26.080
better looking yeah i mean stronger strong a smaller sorensen forehead i don't know
00:29:31.200
um no i wouldn't i wouldn't mind i wouldn't mind it it's getting harder and harder as i get older
00:29:39.760
to keep my strength where it is and so um i wouldn't i wouldn't mind being stronger
00:29:47.840
i don't like wish i've i feel like i could yeah i mean i could still make that happen right like i don't
00:29:53.600
think it's like outside of my control um i don't know maybe keep my hair maybe a little bit longer
00:30:02.240
i'm assuming it's on its way um all my brothers are i have i have five brothers all of them are are
00:30:08.560
are bald for the most part oh really yeah so the fact i have any hair is is a miracle in itself so
00:30:23.760
i i i would say to myself or what i wish for myself is what i wish for all all people and that is to
00:30:32.480
truly realize their potential i would love to know that um to to know what's possible
00:30:44.560
um to have better confidence in in one's ability and impact in the world i think if i
00:30:51.200
that's interesting that if you knew then that makes you kind of question if you did know that
00:30:58.160
would you do your life you would you would obviously do your life differently right you
00:31:01.600
you'd live it more boldly i would think i think so too yeah so interesting yeah unless your potential
00:31:08.800
was like oh your potential from here is just shit so yeah yeah clarity your potential you
00:31:15.200
really don't have any potential yeah so i'm assuming yeah i'm assuming you already reached your max
00:31:22.080
maybe that would be depressing actually you're like hey god could you show my potential you're like
00:31:27.360
actually you did better than i thought you would do you're like you've already seen it you've already
00:31:31.360
seen it it was it happened 10 years ago you remember that that's what it was yeah you're on
00:31:36.320
you're on your way down the hill now all right how about how about emotional anything you'd change
00:31:42.320
about your emotional attributes characteristics
00:32:01.200
if and that's why i like for agreement so much because i need it
00:32:09.200
i realize how let me ask you this question because this i really do feel this way for me
00:32:16.400
when i'm in a good mood like i'm happy when i'm happy anything can happen in those circumstances like
00:32:24.720
i don't know someone could call me a dipshit you could be mad at me my wife could be mad at me
00:32:28.880
and my ability to deal with those circumstances is super effective because i'm not taking it
00:32:35.120
personal and i feel great i feel great and and so i can resolve i can show up better i could do all
00:32:40.400
those things better but when i'm taking things personal man i'll take something that that is minor
00:32:46.480
and make that shit way more serious than it should be and it doesn't benefit me and it doesn't benefit
00:32:52.480
anybody else um let's stay on the same vein i had another is that the same way with you do you feel
00:33:00.720
that same way um no i don't take things personally yeah i don't i i don't know i don't think i ever have
00:33:13.600
yeah i don't think i ever have and i think i'm actually pretty good
00:33:16.320
at getting over things if i feel slighted or upset or i or if i do happen to take something
00:33:22.480
personally yeah i can you move on i can usually compartmentalize it pretty well yeah yeah that's
00:33:27.600
great yeah i wish that's yeah i mean that's a good thing um i can't find the question in here but it
00:33:32.560
was something like um if you could take your worst flaw that you think it is whatever that is okay and
00:33:39.120
you could trade it in like you could get rid of it completely okay but you had to pick up another what
00:33:44.480
we would generally consider a flaw what would you trade for what oh man i don't know if i'd trade
00:33:51.440
i mean even in this circumstance take things personal guess what that guess what that is
00:33:58.880
allows me to have some wicked empathy more than probably i think more than the average individual
00:34:06.640
and so even even in saying this thing that is a flaw of mine i i see how it can be a superpower
00:34:18.240
you know that's a good perspective i like that perspective yeah and and so i don't know if i'd
00:34:23.280
trade it right because i i think i'm just going to trade another you know what i mean it i lose some
00:34:29.200
superpower with that trade and and luckily i've learned to take advantage of that and and use my
00:34:36.480
ability to be empathetic to my advantage um and i think it's one of my benefits around um my
00:34:44.320
different positions is is my my ability to be empathetic yeah you know how to utilize that that
00:34:50.960
weapon already yeah that's good yeah um okay so here's here's kind of a fun interesting one if jesus
00:34:57.040
christ was walking on the earth today and he asked to spend the day with you but he wanted to learn from
00:35:03.600
you not you learn from him he wanted to learn from you what would you teach him
00:35:10.000
arguably the most perfect person that's ever walked the earth wants to learn something
00:35:14.560
it might not be look it might not be a lesson necessarily but maybe you want to teach him
00:35:21.760
something or showing something cool or go on a cool experience or you know what i'm saying yeah yeah um
00:35:28.720
maybe get on the mats see i knew you that's what i was thinking what kind of jujitsu jesus has you
00:35:42.160
know what i mean like does does he get triggered a little bit i'm he you know he threw away table
00:35:46.880
you know turned over tables and yelled at people so maybe i'd try to push his buttons on the mat piss
00:35:51.760
him off and say hey hold on is this anger like like satan anger is this like jesus anger happening
00:35:59.040
here you know righteous anger or unrighteous the thing about it you know uh when you talk about
00:36:05.600
jujitsu it's always you know chess right everybody says it's like chess the problem is he knows everything
00:36:12.160
so he already knows exactly what you're gonna do when you're gonna do it where you're gonna put your
00:36:17.120
hand where you're vulnerable yeah he has some he probably has some voodoo jujitsu that we haven't
00:36:21.920
invented yet right and so i feel like yeah i learned some stuff from him um so i and i'm being serious
00:36:27.760
like i'd i'd roll with him the other thing that that is a kind of a passion of mine over those last
00:36:33.520
couple years and i find this fascinating i can nerd out on this what you've you've been in this
00:36:40.720
experience i'm sure ryan at certain points in life when you've gotten training it sticks in other
00:36:46.080
cases it doesn't stick oh totally and and there's been times where my paradigm has and i'm using this
00:36:53.120
term but my paradigm has shifted like i walked away and i'm like i am a different person i see the world
00:37:00.400
differently that's like amazing right and in in scripture right christ had the title of master teacher
00:37:09.760
and so in a corporate america environment i'm like all right master teacher mr perfect so what is the
00:37:18.080
perfect learning development strategy how do you teach people in a way that that allows them to learn
00:37:24.960
and grow in no other way possible what is that right and i would love to nerd out with jesus around
00:37:34.800
bloom's taxonomy the different levels of comprehension and understanding and learning
00:37:39.360
the the concepts of parables um i don't know like all of it i i i would totally enjoy that
00:37:48.560
conversation from a from a yeah yeah i've nerd out um i've got a lot of questions so i'm just
00:37:55.440
trying to pick out the right ones for the sake of time here uh okay here i don't i don't generally
00:38:00.560
like false dichotomies you know that but they but that being said they are good thought experiments
00:38:06.400
they're good questions to provoke some thought and there may not be an answer but it's worth
00:38:11.440
considering so here's my false dichotomy what is more important to be moral in your day-to-day
00:38:18.400
dealings with everyone or protect and provide for your family if it meant that you had to be immoral to do it
00:38:26.800
um moral day-to-day more over protecting and providing for your family okay that's different
00:38:43.840
than i would say personally so why do you say that because i think that's the long game
00:38:49.200
more of the eternal game yeah and it's the eternal game but it's also i think it's the game that
00:38:56.560
actually proves out so i i think there might be a lot of tendency in our lives that i i'm i'm forced
00:39:06.240
my current circumstance is whatever i got to win in this circumstance so i'm going to make a tactical
00:39:10.720
victory that compromises integrity and morals and often those choices require an additional
00:39:20.800
questioning of integrity tomorrow and the day after and like when when do you call it but i actually do
00:39:27.440
feel that when we're morally focused when we're in integrity day in and day out things kind of work
00:39:33.840
out eventually i think so and i might lose the battle today but it's going to be fine people will
00:39:41.440
rally people see your honor people will come to your aid all these other things align and it's funny
00:39:48.880
some religions what do they call that karma right but give it whatever label you want i think
00:39:56.560
strategically that will always win in the long term yeah i mean i agree with that and that's why it's
00:40:02.880
this false dichotomy because i agree with what you're saying but also if let's say my family's
00:40:09.280
starving and i needed to go shoot a deer but i don't have a deer license i'm gonna go shoot the deer
00:40:14.960
yeah yeah you know what i'm saying or or i have to choose between a stranger and and my kids like
00:40:23.040
i'm gonna choose my kids yeah absolutely so they're you know and i know you know that and that's why this
00:40:27.840
is that kind of that weird thought provoking exercise but it is something it is interesting
00:40:34.400
to consider how far you would go to protect and provide for your family like what everybody says
00:40:39.600
oh yeah i'd do anything i'd do anything well what do you like what exactly do you mean there's a there's
00:40:44.800
a couple of guys that i've heard and this makes a ton of sense to me i think i first heard it from
00:40:49.360
one of my friends he's a fitness trainer josiah novak and and i think i saw something like
00:40:54.320
you know you say you do anything for your family but you're not willing to diet and go to the gym
00:41:01.520
to be a better father to lead them well i'm like damn yeah you're not willing to live for them
00:41:20.240
i wrote this is there any legitimate reason for a man to drive a car instead of a truck
00:41:27.440
it depends if it's a stick shift and if it goes really fast
00:41:31.760
fair that's fair okay so there is so you're saying yes
00:41:34.320
yeah that's a good point there's the exception and and anyone that says otherwise they haven't
00:41:39.280
had a chance to ride in a ferrari on a racetrack yeah that's that's fair i didn't think about that
00:41:45.360
but that's fair uh years ago i took my my two boys my two oldest boys uh down to las vegas and we went
00:41:53.600
to the um the race the racetrack where they do you can test drive cars and all that stuff anyways my son
00:42:00.640
my second son's really into cars he wanted to do the drifting so it was this dodge charger or
00:42:06.560
challenger i don't know what it was and it was all black and so we get in the car and the lady's
00:42:11.600
like getting us all settled in and the driver's already sitting in the car he just pulls up
00:42:15.520
and she's like all right well once you put your seat belt on like he goes yeah when he sees that
00:42:22.880
click he goes and i'm like okay so the boys get their seat belts on i put my seat belt on and he
00:42:29.040
goes and just takes off and the seat belt pops out i didn't put it all the way in so it's i'm like
00:42:36.640
trying to like get the seat belt to let go and it won't go because we're drifting so now the seat
00:42:41.280
belt is all locked up i can't even put it on but it was incredible he uh so there's a bunch of people
00:42:48.320
on the racetrack that are driving test driving things like that he was drifting around the people
00:42:55.520
driving their car not just drifting around corners on the inside drifting around them it was amazing
00:43:02.160
to see that skill and the experience of it was really cool yeah i'm sure you had like a permanent
00:43:06.560
smile on your face first time i've been on a racetrack i i i drove actually a ford gt if anyone knows
00:43:13.120
cars oh yeah i was lucky enough to drive one of those cars but i went on some racetracks on some
00:43:18.960
with some ferraris and the whole time man my my my mouth was sore from smiling because it was so fun
00:43:27.280
yeah yeah it is so fun um all right if you could mirror not be but just mirror one historical figure
00:43:37.040
flaws and all who do you think that would be is there is there a figure that sticks out in your mind to
00:43:42.320
you george washington that's my knee-jerk reaction is that too but why do you say that um so
00:43:48.800
i've i've read a lot around george washington right and so the the things that came out that have
00:43:55.840
i've learned about him that i like really admire is one he was very assertive individual
00:44:06.560
he he wasn't passive in any way um he was bold he was very religious and very spiritual man
00:44:16.080
um i love the fact of the level of of his humility with that boldness i love that aspect of him
00:44:27.200
that that multiple opportunities he literally served his country in a position of authority and he didn't
00:44:35.200
want it but was willing to do it for the greater good and and i don't think give me a politician that
00:44:44.480
operates from that perspective yeah right he is our first president that never ran for president
00:44:52.080
well he probably could have been made a king yeah yeah absolutely and and i just find it amazing amazing
00:45:00.320
like and um so yeah his boldness but his humility um and and i and i and from my understanding of him
00:45:09.600
he was very caring but he but he also held people accountable and expected them to show up powerfully
00:45:18.800
as well but he did from a caring caring perspective there's another interesting thing about getting
00:45:25.360
people to show up like he he was notorious for the way people looked and the way they kept their
00:45:32.320
environments the way they kept themselves and even with him you could see how incredibly and impeccable
00:45:38.080
his uniforms were and really believed in the power of looking good so that you show up and you
00:45:45.600
live your life well totally yeah yeah i had the chance to see i think like his uh his wooden teeth
00:45:52.960
actually and i think it was in dc or somewhere where you could actually see his teeth it was pretty
00:45:58.240
interesting that's crazy yeah yeah and or is there something else is going to add is um his willingness
00:46:05.120
sacrifice too like really think about what he put on the table i mean he was he was a soldier
00:46:14.960
for great britain turncoat went against all of that for an ideal holy crap right like when you look
00:46:27.280
at the founding fathers and literally what they sacrificed to sign their names on that paper
00:46:33.440
it's unreal to me unreal you know what's interesting though i think about this sometimes
00:46:38.880
let's just hypothetically say same scenario but great britain wins that war all of us would be
00:46:46.800
that we would not be celebrating thomas jefferson george washington their names would be cursed yeah we
00:46:53.120
and we would think they were horrible villainous vile repulsive people isn't that so yeah i guess uh
00:47:00.240
winners right the history books yeah totally yeah totally interesting um if there okay here's a good
00:47:06.480
one if there were a red dawn situation you just woke up in the morning red dawn what are the first
00:47:13.840
three things you would do and then secondary what three areas are you deficient in and should shore up
00:47:21.040
okay so red dawn like boots on ground boots on ground you wake up soldiers are coming down from
00:47:29.200
parachutes driving their tanks into town like it's on yeah um my first initial thought is grab our packs
00:47:36.640
that are already packed and ammunition and head into the foothills um where we can camp we kind of have
00:47:45.840
a spot that's not far from us but it's a hike it would give us higher ground yeah there's no
00:47:52.720
coming to us from above right and so we'd be nestled and and removed from the situation that's almost the
00:47:59.680
immediate thing i would do um where areas of deficiency i should probably have a cache already up there and i don't
00:48:09.280
mm and so that would be a lot of stuff to be packing up um there is a survival rifle that's a 22 that's a
00:48:18.320
they call it a honey badger or an a1 is an a1 or an yeah it's an a1 a a1 or a oh so you said a 22 not
00:48:28.400
a nine millimeter yeah yeah there's okay i don't know that there's a rifle that um um
00:48:35.280
it's a survival rifle that used in the military for uh pilots it's super basic yeah and anyhow i i
00:48:45.760
want something like that because that ammunition is a huge amount of ammunition right way lighter to
00:48:52.160
carry lethal enough yeah inexpensive lethal enough you could use it it's quieter um so i don't have
00:49:00.000
enough 22 and i don't have one of those cool survival rifles that i'd want that's a 22
00:49:04.880
yeah would you do you feel like if that were to happen that you would try to lead or rally men
00:49:12.320
together for a resistance absolutely but my first priority how would you do that yeah my first
00:49:19.120
priority family out family sure first of course um i already know i i think i already know who all
00:49:26.160
those guys are in my neighborhood so i would immediately like all right what's our strategy like
00:49:32.080
what are we doing and and come up with the plan it's so crazy though because so you go up to the
00:49:39.440
foothills and and we just think oh yeah i'd get those guys together how how are you gonna you don't
00:49:45.280
have cell phones no right that's the first thing the enemy is gonna do is disrupt communications and and
00:49:50.560
that's that's an area that i need to improve on a little bit so so i actually have unauthorized
00:49:56.080
ham radios a bunch of oh really yeah so um and a couple of guys what makes them unauthorized well
00:50:03.360
you have to be certified to be able to use ham radios license right yeah yeah and i don't um but
00:50:10.400
i assume that in these kind of circumstances i don't give a crap right so uh least of their worries yeah
00:50:16.880
there's a handful of guys that actually do tests monthly uh in my neighborhood on their ham radios
00:50:22.880
uh and and i've chatted with them to start doing that with them um with my radios but i haven't done
00:50:29.440
that yet but you would hope right that um those those group of individuals would start communicating
00:50:36.320
on those ham radios appropriately right yeah no that's good i i hadn't really thought about that
00:50:42.160
no that's good yeah um pivot again what i got a couple more questions we'll do if there were no
00:50:48.880
constraints at all no financial constraints responsibility type constraints what would you
00:50:54.560
do for work i kind of love what i do really you would keep doing that yeah yeah i would still i mean
00:51:07.520
continue working with you um in the ic in order of man i i love the conversation of leadership
00:51:15.840
leadership um and and it's evolved a little bit for me right i i feel leadership is a choice
00:51:24.400
that we can choose and that choice is putting other people's um success um as a priority
00:51:35.280
their growth and development success as a priority that's leadership and if you're a parent you're a
00:51:40.240
leader uh and then you can choose to be a leader whether you have a title or not and so that
00:51:46.640
conversation is a as a fun conversation i enjoy that conversation i think it is the answer to us
00:51:53.680
showing up more powerfully like in the grand scheme of things we talk about like personal development and
00:51:58.240
it's like become a better person that's all great so you can be a better leader like i think that's like
00:52:05.920
the progression is any personal development should eventually evolve into effective leadership
00:52:13.760
i like it and and i have an avenue to do it in my current job so i'd keep doing it
00:52:18.640
right and that's good and the more i could take on the better because more most people aren't that
00:52:23.600
way where they'd be like oh i'd keep doing this like most i would do this i would do the same thing
00:52:28.240
but most people would do something completely different yeah i would keep coming to the office doing what i
00:52:34.720
do you know and and just i don't continue on the same path of of trying to help nice all right
00:52:42.960
so i have two more questions um if there's one bit of feedback that constructive feedback that you've
00:52:49.200
been wanting to give me but never have for any reason what would that be oh man that's a really good
00:52:56.640
question if you asked me a couple years ago i would say that you're too stern sometimes in your
00:53:03.120
thought process it's always black and white with you um but we've talked about that man i i feel
00:53:10.160
the the gains in the space of empathetic like thought process on your part has has been astounding
00:53:19.600
it's been great actually i appreciate it so i would never give you that feedback anymore
00:53:23.600
but if if that was feedback i would have given you you know what i mean a couple years ago um
00:53:33.120
the other part the the one thing i would give you feedback and and my apologies i probably should just
00:53:40.480
not waited for a podcast to give you this feedback um yeah but but this this is something i think is
00:53:47.600
really important and i think it's insightful for iron council and i call it the equitable transfer of
00:53:54.880
value people will always show up powerfully as long as there's an equitable transfer of value
00:54:03.520
and the minute that's tilted and i'm not getting as much as i'm giving then what i do most people
00:54:11.200
will will do one of two things they'll reduce their effort to match what they get
00:54:17.520
or they'll just leave right that's it and and i would advise you that from a leadership perspective
00:54:26.480
in the ic our first thought when we have maybe a disengaged battle team leader for instance let's
00:54:33.360
let's say i don't know they're not showing up as powerfully to immediately go to that and go okay hold
00:54:39.840
on are they getting an equitable transfer of value of what i'm asking of them because that's usually
00:54:46.800
where under performance always comes in yeah that's interesting and so i double down on making sure
00:54:53.040
they're getting value and our circumstance is different right obviously from the ic perspective
00:54:58.240
some of that might be for most organizations it's compensation but not really right like a lot
00:55:05.680
of it is something intrinsic value am i learning am i being challenged do i find purpose and meaning
00:55:11.680
in what i'm doing um am i getting reps where i'm i'm growing in a way am i making a difference the
00:55:18.320
minute those things start going down and they're not getting those things anymore they will reduce their
00:55:24.560
effort always and and i think you're going to get to a point where size becomes enough where you're
00:55:31.600
going to have to hire someone right that's like to take care of yeah for sure to run so they have
00:55:37.520
more meat in the game they will give you more meat that makes sense oh i like it we'll talk more about
00:55:45.120
that i'm sure yeah um last question kip that i have for you here is this one might be a little bit
00:55:51.120
of emotional one but i want to bring it up and like part of the reason that i wanted to do this by
00:55:55.680
the way is because i've number one i value your responses and value your insight um and who you are and how
00:56:00.560
you show up and number two it's good for guys to hear from us about how we think and what we would
00:56:07.040
do differently or or how we ask questions or what kind of questions we ask like some of these questions
00:56:12.560
are pretty sensitive and the fact that you and i can have this type of conversation now i know it's
00:56:17.840
being recorded but how many conversations can a guy have about some of this stuff with another man
00:56:23.360
it's not real likely superficial there's something to be learned and said there as well um so here's
00:56:29.440
the question if you could say one thing to your dad if he were still alive what would you say to him
00:56:45.760
i think i would tell him that i would choose him as my dad
00:56:51.280
and that i um and i and it sounds cheesy but like really accepting exactly for the man he is
00:57:05.360
you know and then i'd probably tell him all the things i was grateful for that he did that he taught
00:57:10.080
me that he may not even realize that he taught me um and then i would probably double down and apologize
00:57:18.240
for any areas that um for any areas that um i i showed up small where i maybe withheld love from
00:57:24.960
him because i took things too personal and assumed right that that is him not meeting my expectations
00:57:33.760
in certain ways meant that he didn't love me and i'd apologize for that um ironically enough you
00:57:42.080
you asked this question last night i i had this wave file like a sound file on my desktop and it's um
00:57:51.200
it's of my dad actually leaving me a voicemail and i saved it onto my pc uh he's never
00:57:59.120
and i literally don't say this to like make him sound bad but it's i i think i i wish i would have
00:58:06.720
realized why he was doing this but he he wasn't a man to you know call me and check in right like
00:58:14.160
that never happened with him and um roughly about you know in fact it was around this time of year
00:58:22.480
um three years ago he calls me and left me a voicemail and that's the voicemail that i have on my desk
00:58:29.520
on my on my computer that i listened to yesterday it's the only voicemail i have from him
00:58:33.520
and he called and wanted to wish me a merry christmas and you know to give my kids and my
00:58:42.560
wife a hug let them know uh that he appreciates them and and then it was it was kind of funny
00:58:49.840
because i bought him these ugly ass shoes these stupid well they're stupid shoes for like to help
00:58:56.000
your arches or something like that old people wear you know velcro even you know like really ugly shoes
00:59:02.320
and the and the funny part was is he called me up and said hey thanks for those shoes that you know
00:59:08.480
they're a huge help and they've been great whatever little did he know that that i talked to my sister
00:59:14.880
weeks earlier and said hey is dad wearing those shoes she's like no are you kidding i think he threw
00:59:19.280
them away he's like i'm not wearing stupid things and he put his boots back on and so he calls me
00:59:24.720
and leaves me a voicemail telling me thanks for these great shoes and i'm like no he's not wearing those
00:59:29.360
shoes you know that's funny he's never worn anything but cowboy boots you know what i mean
00:59:34.240
and so it was kind of funny that he used that as an opportune time but i i regret not seeing that for
00:59:41.520
what it was and what it was is my dad probably being present to his mortality and reaching out to me
00:59:50.240
in his own way and um i didn't jump on that as much as i should have yeah yeah it's good man
01:00:01.920
well i had other questions too like uh but i decided to over overlook them like
01:00:06.000
just choose the ones that make me cry well like i was thinking you know if you could choose
01:00:10.960
one thing to change about asia what would it be and why i decided you probably wouldn't answer that
01:00:15.040
question well i don't know if we have a long enough episode right you don't want to keep these
01:00:19.040
within an hour i also put in here you know how many times per day do you think i wonder what ryan's
01:00:25.680
doing right now you know those types of questions i mean that happens all time
01:00:31.600
uh kip i appreciate it man you gave some great answers to some questions here and
01:00:35.760
that was fun like it's good to learn more about you we've been friends for a long time but it's still
01:00:39.600
good to know your thought processes and why you do the things that you do to go back to that
01:00:43.840
first question why you are the way you are well we answered some of that today so that's cool
01:00:48.800
guys we're gonna go back to our regular scheduled program next week so don't stop listening just
01:00:54.000
because we don't stop listening okay it's just a one-off i understand if you don't like it don't
01:00:59.040
leave we'll never do it again that's the only time i'm going to give kip the microphone like that
01:01:03.680
so just don't worry about it uh guys real quick one thing i do want to say is that on january 6th
01:01:11.680
so that's monday night january 6th we have an iron council preview call at 8 p.m eastern time
01:01:18.880
so that's again monday january 6 8 p.m eastern iron council preview call we had a really good call
01:01:24.960
last week we pulled back the curtain a little bit shared a little bit about what the ic was about
01:01:29.760
some guys shared some stories and some lessons that they've learned and how they've applied these
01:01:33.920
lessons into their lives and it was a really powerful call so if you're on the fence and you're
01:01:38.080
wondering as it worth it do i want to pay money for this what what all is included go to the iron
01:01:45.040
council.com slash preview the iron council.com slash preview you can join a wait list drop your email in
01:01:52.800
there and then we will email you monday morning probably friday night too and remind you that we
01:01:58.160
have that call monday january 6th 8 p.m eastern the iron council.com slash preview right can i give them a
01:02:05.200
challenge those guys that come on monday bring a problem like there's obviously a reason that you
01:02:13.360
might be considering joining the iron council right it's like well i need to get my fitness in shape i
01:02:17.280
need to resolve some conflict with in relationships or whatever that is bring it to the table hey and
01:02:25.520
like how much would you appreciate this hey ryan i've been considering the iron council the key
01:02:31.600
important element of my life that needs to be addressed is xyz how would that how would the
01:02:38.320
iron council help me resolve and or get on a path of resolving that issue yeah like bring those to the
01:02:46.480
table awesome it'd be awesome yeah you know what's interesting about that those men who come to the
01:02:52.160
table with a problem and are willing to a voice and express it are the ones who are going to get the
01:02:56.240
most value out of the iron council anyways because and i told these guys on the call last week i said
01:03:02.400
look if you if you want to get value out of this then you need to start speaking up
01:03:08.800
you need to tell people what's wrong what what you're dealing with what you're good at what you're
01:03:12.480
not good at asking questions being considerate of what other people might have to share with you
01:03:17.120
the more that you do that and the men that do that inside the iron council are the ones who thrive
01:03:21.520
and succeed not just within the confines of what we've created but in their life that's the idea i
01:03:26.640
don't care about how well you perform in the iron council like top performer in the iron council
01:03:31.760
does nothing for me but for you to be a better father or to be a better husband or to make a little
01:03:37.040
more money this year or extend a little more grace where you haven't been so willing to do that in
01:03:42.240
the past or losing some weight that means you're doing the work and that's what i appreciate way more
01:03:47.760
than i contribute a lot to the iron council that's great i love it but let's see if we can
01:03:52.880
translate it to your life yeah absolutely cool all right guys well again thank you for joining us
01:03:59.520
very first call of the year i thought kip could kick that off i loved your answers to those questions
01:04:04.000
kip i know that was a little bit of a blind side for you you didn't know what those questions were
01:04:07.600
ahead of time and uh you did pretty good so appreciate you man all right guys we'll be back on
01:04:13.520
friday until then go out there take action and become the man you are meant to be
01:04:21.360
thank you for listening to the order of man podcast you're ready to take charge of your life
01:04:26.000
and be more of the man you were meant to be we invite you to join the order at order of man.com