Order of Man - Unnecessary Intellectualism, Perfection Paralysis, and Imposter Syndrome ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.000 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.740 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.000 Kip, what's up, brother? Great to see you, man. I hope you had a great weekend.

00:00:28.280 Looking forward to getting back into the week and getting after it. I woke up pretty motivated.

00:00:32.820 You know how those days where you wake up and you're like, ugh, I don't want to do anything today.

00:00:37.700 And then you have those other days which you're like, all right, I'm ready to grab life by the balls and get after the day.

00:00:44.340 So that's where I'm at right now. So looking forward to having this conversation to kick things off.

00:00:48.280 I just want some of that. So go ahead and share as much of that as you'd like.

00:00:51.960 I woke up the opposite. Like, ugh, I don't want to go to the gym. I don't want to go to the office.

00:00:58.840 I don't know what I want to do, to be frank. Zero motivation this morning. So I'll take some of yours.

00:01:06.040 What do you do on days like that? Because we have them. They're inevitable.

00:01:09.580 And you still have things to do. You got to go to the office. Your family still requires your attention.

00:01:13.820 What do you personally do on days like that?

00:01:16.460 Still go to the gym. Still go to the office.

00:01:18.480 Although I was thinking about this this morning, I heard something yesterday. I actually read something yesterday while at church.

00:01:27.240 And for whatever reason, I've heard this before. I'm sure you've heard this. This idea that things don't get easier. We just get better.

00:01:35.260 And I'm like, oh, that's great. That's a nice statement. And I've heard it a hundred times.

00:01:41.480 But for whatever reason, yesterday, I was like, it connected. And it connected in a way because I keep having expectations that things shouldn't be the way they are.

00:01:53.240 I keep going, well, I'm going to bust ass and it's going, circumstances are going to change. And I think they shouldn't be. And it blocks me from dealing in reality.

00:02:04.380 And what I should be saying in that morning or in those days is I'm going to be better today. And that's how I address circumstances. I don't hope for them to be better. My hope is in me showing up more powerfully.

00:02:17.800 And I don't know. That was present to me this morning. I thought, man, I need to ponder on that more often because that's where I get sideways, to be honest with you.

00:02:28.120 It's life isn't the way I think it should be. And I make it wrong. And then I get wrapped up into that expectation versus saying, okay, well, it is what it is, Kip.

00:02:38.860 So now what are you going to do about it? And how can you show up powerfully regardless of those circumstances?

00:02:44.940 That's awesome. Yeah. A couple of things stood out as you were saying that. One, a quote came to mind. This is attributed to John F. Kennedy. He says,

00:02:53.260 do not pray for easier lives. Pray to be stronger men. I always liked that quote. And then the other thing I wrote down here, and this is along the same lines as what you're talking about.

00:03:03.520 I've had this thought run through my mind lately, and that is solve better problems.

00:03:12.280 So for example, the mortgage payment shouldn't be a problem for you. Now it might for a lot of guys listening, it might.

00:03:20.920 And I'm not saying that you shouldn't fret over that. You should. But there comes a point in time where making the car payment or making the mortgage payment,

00:03:29.380 that's no longer a concern, which is great because it doesn't make life easier. It gives you the opportunity to solve better problems.

00:03:38.180 Now I don't have to worry about the mortgage being paid. Now I can worry about starting a business that serves tens,

00:03:42.920 tens, if not hundreds of thousands of men or whoever your clientele is. So I'm always looking for ways to,

00:03:49.700 yes, address the problems I'm dealing with, but I don't want a lack of problems in my life. I want better problems to solve.

00:03:56.420 Totally. Well, and Asia and I were just talking about this literally last week. We were just kind of both stressed.

00:04:03.380 And I said, you know what? I don't know if shit's getting any easier, right? 0.99

00:04:08.660 Like I thought as we'd get older, it'd maybe get easier. And it absolutely is not any easier. 0.99

00:04:18.740 In fact, I would say the stakes are higher. The repercussions of our decisions, whether good or bad,

00:04:27.180 are just greater than they've ever been. And that's it. And as we've improved, the stakes get higher.

00:04:36.060 And as we get better parents, the stakes get higher and they just keep getting higher. Right.

00:04:41.300 And it's like, man, maybe we should stop focusing on, you know, waiting for an easy life and just

00:04:47.440 realize, Hey, this is, this is, this is the game. And this is how we continue growing, right. By taking

00:04:52.540 on bigger problems to your point versus, you know, staying passive or playing small, maybe say it that

00:04:59.780 way. Well, and you said taking on bigger problems and, and I'm, I don't even think that's necessarily

00:05:05.200 the case. I say better problems because I think there's a lot more intentionality about which

00:05:09.780 problems you choose to shoulder. For example, I have people reach out every single week, probably

00:05:16.400 even daily at this point. They'll say, Oh, Ryan, you should do this. You should talk about this.

00:05:20.820 You should address this. You should, you should do that. Look, if you're giving me a suggestion,

00:05:25.360 that's in the vein of what we do. I'm not saying, I don't want your suggestions. I do,

00:05:28.260 but I'm also saying that being an issue, take that upon yourself. You do that and I'll help and

00:05:36.840 I'll support and I'll talk about it. But I would love to see more guys have an issue with something

00:05:41.500 in the world or whatever, and then start solving it for themselves. And I'm here to support, you know,

00:05:47.560 if I can do something that will help you, you know, spread the word, get the message out, whatever I can

00:05:51.560 do that. But I want people to take on those problems. They feel like are better problems to be

00:05:56.540 solving. Yeah. I've heard this. Someone told me years ago that everyone has problems.

00:06:04.300 You might as well choose yours and choose something big. Yeah. And, and, and I think that is so true.

00:06:12.760 Like, I don't know about you, Ryan, but I have people in my life that, that unfortunately for them,

00:06:19.280 don't have anything going on for them. But if you go talk to them, they have problems.

00:06:26.540 Yeah. They got all kinds of problems. It's almost like it's part of the human condition

00:06:32.060 to have problems. And the difference is, is their problems are being act, like they're acting upon

00:06:39.200 them. They're all these things outside their realm of control. They're not doing anything about,

00:06:44.340 about it. They're victims to them. So they're highly disempowered about them versus to your point,

00:06:51.060 you don't like something, you see a gap, make it your problem. And it's kind of interesting when we do that,

00:06:56.540 all that other kind of noise problems, those low hanging, those, those problems that we used to

00:07:03.320 have end up not becoming problems anymore. Right. Right. Cause I remember when I started,

00:07:08.900 I remember when I started order a man, I had people who'd say, Oh, that's not, that's not a thing.

00:07:14.580 We don't need that. That's not a problem. Well, maybe you don't see it as a problem,

00:07:18.940 which is why you're not doing anything about it, but I see it as a problem. And so,

00:07:23.180 yeah, I, and as far as looking for problems, I think humans were, we are problem searcher. We are

00:07:30.900 looking for problems. It's a defense mechanism. Yeah. It's, you know, it creates safety.

00:07:35.380 Right. It's, it's, it's why you're head, you know, you're driving down the road and what are

00:07:38.660 you doing? If you're paying attention and not on your phone, you're scanning, right? You're

00:07:42.040 looking left to right. You're checking your side view mirrors, your rear view mirror. You're looking

00:07:45.720 in front of you, anticipating things. Cause you don't want to get hit by another car that's

00:07:48.980 hurling down the road at 80 miles an hour. And that's what we do in life is we're looking for

00:07:53.840 problems and too many people, they just avoid them. You know, imagine doing that down on the road.

00:07:59.540 You know, you see a car in front of you swerving around and you're like, Oh, that shouldn't be an

00:08:02.740 issue. And you just kind of ignore it. Like, no, you're looking for problems. You're looking for

00:08:07.620 solutions. You're anticipating what could go wrong. And we don't bury our heads in the sand. When we see

00:08:11.880 it, we actively engage with whatever that is. And then we adjust our course as necessary.

00:08:16.760 Anyways, let's, let's move on to some questions. We've got a lot of good questions today. I want

00:08:20.800 to make sure we get to. Yeah. We're going to first fill some questions from the iron council

00:08:25.300 to learn more about the IC order of man.com slash iron council. We'll talk about the battle

00:08:30.280 ready program before we wrap up today. Our first question, Regan Huefner consistency is one,

00:08:36.320 if not the most important trait to have in just about any pursuit, what are some of the best

00:08:41.260 ways to strengthen and improve this trait? This is, this is a funny question. Purely because

00:08:49.120 the best way to be consistent is to be consistent. The answer is the question.

00:08:54.600 And you said it great. When we kicked off the meeting, I said, what do you do on days you don't

00:08:58.760 feel like going? You said, well, I still go to the office. I still go to the gym. That's how you do it.

00:09:03.660 You make a deliberate and conscious decision that regardless of how you feel in any given moment,

00:09:09.400 because that's fleeting, you're going to do what you said you're going to do. And in the spirit of

00:09:13.900 the question, I also suggest you make that decision ahead of time. So going to the gym is a great

00:09:18.320 example. I slept in past my alarm today, but so I didn't go to the gym this morning, but I made a

00:09:24.680 commitment to go to the gym. I know. Yeah. Well, no, that's not, I thought you were going to say

00:09:29.920 something else. You caught me off guard with that. That's no, that's actually, I'm feeling great in

00:09:33.960 spite of that. In spite of, of not going to the gym, of not going to the gym, but I made a

00:09:39.860 commitment to it. And so I looked at my calendar for today when this is done, I'm, I'm, I'm already

00:09:44.940 ready to go. Like I've got my stuff on. Like I'm all I have to do is take my hat off. I got my drink

00:09:50.020 in the fridge. You know, it's cold right now. And I already know what the workout is. I'm going in

00:09:53.980 right after we get done with this discussion. No excuses. You know, yes, I woke up late. That's not

00:09:59.680 really an excuse because it's not keeping me from doing it. It's just the reason I didn't get to the gym

00:10:03.460 yet. And so I'm going to go anyways. So I would suggest that if you're having issues with

00:10:08.460 consistency, you do two things, make decisions before the moment, because you're going to get

00:10:13.600 tired. You're going to get lazy. You're going to feel sick. You're going to, whatever, you're

00:10:16.460 going to come up with all these reasons why you can't do it. And then the other thing that I would

00:10:19.960 suggest, and this is shared quite a bit by James Clear and his book, Atomic Habits, you want to grease

00:10:26.020 the grooves. So you want to make sure that it's as seamless as possible to do what you said you're

00:10:32.540 going to do. And for example, if you said, Hey, I'm going to take my wife out on a date 0.98

00:10:37.280 every single week, and we're going to do this. Then in order to be consistent with that, you have

00:10:42.300 to have a regularly planned day. So maybe every Thursday night or Saturday morning or whatever

00:10:47.480 works for you. And it's booked. It's in the calendar. Another thing you might consider is

00:10:52.700 having multiple babysitters that you can call on a given notice, just in case one can't make it,

00:10:58.120 you can pick up another one, maybe even have her on quote unquote retainer where every Thursday

00:11:02.420 night she's yours. And she knows that. And she comes over at whatever time and watches the kids.

00:11:07.660 The kids, you know, making sure their homework gets done, making sure there's groceries,

00:11:11.980 making sure the sitter knows how to cook for them, put them to bed, whatever your thing is.

00:11:15.760 You want to make sure all of that is streamlined to eliminate the excuses, eliminate the reasons,

00:11:22.300 anticipate like we were talking before about problems that may arise before they even come up.

00:11:27.120 And I feel like if you make decisions beforehand and you grease the grooves,

00:11:31.680 you're going to have a much easier time staying consistent. And the counter to that with what

00:11:37.200 James Clear talks about in his book, Atomic Habits, is you want to create friction for the things that

00:11:42.520 you don't want to do. So a great example of that is if somebody's trying to quit drinking,

00:11:46.920 a little way to create some friction is to get rid of all the alcohol in the house.

00:11:51.340 Now, if you want to drink, you got, you got to get in your car. You got to drive down to wherever

00:11:57.220 you got to pick up your drink, got to come home. There's, there's sometimes that's enough friction

00:12:01.500 to keep you from making that decision that you know, you don't want to make. So that that's what

00:12:05.540 I would suggest for consistency. Yeah. What would you say to this? I remember I used to do like P90X.

00:12:13.900 Do you remember that guy? I do. Yeah. Horton or I can't remember his name. He always has like

00:12:21.220 funny statements, right? He's like a tip of the day. Don't smash your face when he's like doing

00:12:25.740 these, you know, tricep extensions. And one thing he says a lot, he says, do your best, forget the

00:12:32.160 rest. Just let go of it. Let go of the story. Let go of everything. Just do your best.

00:12:36.960 And for whatever reason that allows me to be consistent sometimes, because I, I get in my

00:12:44.300 own way about how it's going to go. Oh, this is not going to work. I'm not going to have a good

00:12:50.360 workout. I'm too tired. I won't be able to get my reps in. Like I, I come up with all these stories

00:12:56.900 of how it's going to go that almost deters me from actually doing it. And I like that statement of just,

00:13:03.980 just do your best. That's it. Just show up. Just go. Don't worry about how it's going to go.

00:13:08.920 Don't worry about anything else. Just show up and do your best with whatever you are,

00:13:15.160 wherever you're at. And, and that allows me to get a little bit more consistent. So

00:13:19.840 maybe there's just a little bit of when you get in your own head or the minute, and I've actually

00:13:26.880 even had this thought in the past of the minute I start excusing, that's when you just act.

00:13:32.200 Yeah. That's how you're, that's the trigger of you're about to be out of integrity is the minute

00:13:40.480 of, well, uh, and then you're like, no, no, no, that's, that's out of integrity already. If I

00:13:47.360 have to excuse it, that means I should just do it. I like that. I, I also think what that hits on Kip

00:13:53.660 is the perfection paralysis, I guess I'd call it where everything has to be perfect. And if it

00:14:01.720 isn't perfect, then you won't do it at all. An example of that, when I was doing financial

00:14:05.800 planning, I'd have clients where I'd tell them, you know, here's, here's how we can get you out of

00:14:10.200 debt, or here's how we can save for you. Here's how much money you should be investing. And let's

00:14:14.200 just say, hypothetically, their plan called for an investment of a thousand dollars per month into

00:14:18.740 various investment accounts. Every once in a while, I'd get quite often, actually, I'd get

00:14:23.620 clients who would say, you know, I can't really do a thousand dollars a month. I'm like, we'll get

00:14:28.180 there. Like what if we started with 300 or 400 or 500 or whatever? And they're like, ah, well, you

00:14:33.740 know, I can't, yeah, I could probably do a couple hundred, but until I can do a thousand, like, I'm

00:14:39.000 not really going to do anything. Like you would be surprised how often I hear that. Like things aren't

00:14:44.140 going to get better until you start doing them. And this is that perfection paralysis where we

00:14:48.960 think if, oh man, I'm not really feeling it. So I won't get as good a workout at the gym today.

00:14:54.660 I'm off my game. So like, I'm maybe I'll just call in sick at work. You know, I'm not feeling up to

00:15:00.000 it. I'm tired from the day. And so maybe I'll just tell hon rain check. We'll go out to dinner another

00:15:04.540 night. Guys, everything doesn't have to be perfect. Sometimes going through the motions is enough.

00:15:10.040 And one of our senior leadership guys, Alan Placer and iron council often talks. And I scoffed at

00:15:15.120 this initially when he said this, and he says this a lot, celebrate the small wins. I don't know what

00:15:22.160 celebrate. I got out of bed, celebrate. I went to the gym that shit we should all be doing anyways. 0.71

00:15:28.040 But he kept saying this over and over again. I'm like, no, you know what? Yeah. I don't need to 0.99

00:15:32.820 make a, you know, a Facebook post about it or throw myself a little party every time I get out of bed

00:15:37.700 on time, but I can tell myself, good job, man. You know, you didn't feel like it today,

00:15:43.380 but you went in anyways. It wasn't awesome on a scale of 10. The workout was maybe a six,

00:15:48.820 but you feel like a two. So that's a win. Good job. And I think we can tell ourselves that a little

00:15:55.620 bit more. And then the only thing, other thing I'd say Kip is after the fact, when you fail in

00:16:02.280 consistency, you have to get back on the horse as soon as possible. We all know that analogy.

00:16:08.160 You fall off the horse or you fall off the bike. You know, if you're teaching your daughter how to 0.98

00:16:12.160 ride her bike and you finally take the training wheels off and she falls and scrapes her knee,

00:16:18.340 do you say, Hey, let's pick it up tomorrow. Let's, let's do it tomorrow.

00:16:21.700 Put the training wheels back on. Yeah.

00:16:23.340 No, you, you say, Hey, you know what, hon? Like, Oh yeah, that hurts. Let's wipe you off. 0.99

00:16:27.240 You know, dust it off. Say, let's get back on. Let's do it right now. Let's do it right now.

00:16:33.120 And that's what I would suggest to anybody who falls off the wagon. Do fix it immediately.

00:16:38.980 Here's what guys will do. Yeah. I'm on this diet and I'm on this program right now and it's going

00:16:43.140 really well, but man, I ate like dog shit for lunch. And so I'm just gonna, I'll just screw it. 1.00

00:16:49.540 The rest of the day, I'll just eat whatever I want. That's a loser mentality. I'm not saying that 0.99

00:16:54.820 loser is in your worth. I'm saying that's what losers do. If you want to lose in life, 0.99

00:16:59.320 get derailed and then compound the problem by saying, by justifying your, your continued poor

00:17:06.560 choices by your previous derailment. No, just, Hey, you know what? Yeah. I, I ate more than I

00:17:13.580 should have at lunch. So, you know, maybe I'll skim back on dinner. That's a winner mindset.

00:17:19.820 Yeah. Not, Hey, I'll just skip through it. It's like, Hey, maybe I just won't eat dinner tonight.

00:17:23.640 That's what a winner would do. And so if you want to win, get back on the horse as quickly as

00:17:28.800 possible and get back to your point earlier in integrity with yourself. Totally. Ironic enough,

00:17:35.820 left knee, little wobbly kind of acted weird over the weekend. Cause I played some pickleball on

00:17:41.760 Saturday and it felt kind of odd, you know, you should not hurt yourself in pickleball, but I have

00:17:47.060 too. And it's sad as old men that we're getting hurt, man. Anyways, keep going. But you know how it is?

00:17:52.560 Knee seems. Yes. Right. And I'm like, Oh, and I got legs today, Monday leg day. Don't ask why I do

00:17:59.460 that. So Monday leg day. And I totally crossed my mind this morning. My legs, my knees kind of loose.

00:18:06.140 I probably shouldn't go do legs and just win. Anyway, probably the best leg day I've had

00:18:14.180 for about a month. I can barely leave the building. Yeah. I had to go down the stairs,

00:18:19.560 holding two hands on the rail. My God, my like thighs are just rock hard, just swollen. I'm like,

00:18:27.520 man, felt good. And I thought, look at that, man. I wasn't even planning on going.

00:18:32.500 Right. Wuss. You know, it ended up being a great workout. I felt great. And so now it's not always

00:18:39.180 going to be that way, but my point being just extending on what you're saying, sometimes just

00:18:45.820 showing ups to win. And then sometimes it ends up being even better than what we even thought it

00:18:52.020 was going to be. And we, and we end up better off regardless of whether it is ends up being the

00:18:57.160 best PR day or not. You know, we don't know what we don't know. So yeah. All right. Kyle,

00:19:03.840 Christian, how do you recover from burnout? I thought this question was interesting, by the way.

00:19:09.160 So he says, recover from burnout. Then he says, what are some ways to combat imposter syndrome

00:19:14.360 when taking on a moonshot goal? No basic stuff of life, but how do you deal with it when we are doing

00:19:21.780 something bigger than we have ever done before? So maybe Ryan explain moonshot first and then,

00:19:29.240 and then maybe hop into the question. Yeah. So Mike Massimino, former NASA astronaut,

00:19:34.160 came on the podcast about a month and a half to two months ago. And we decided to incorporate his

00:19:40.480 book moonshot into our iron council monthly topic, which is shoot for the moon. And we're talking about

00:19:46.000 goal setting, goal planning, achieving our goals, figuring out what resources we need, and really trying to

00:19:51.340 move ourselves forward to our goals and ambitions. I'm not sure if these questions are correlated.

00:19:56.900 Do you think they are Kip or are they completely separate questions?

00:20:01.800 I, he, I think he's illustrating the same. I just thought it was interesting. He threw in

00:20:06.160 imposter syndrome as something that generates burnout. Now I actually, now that me too, but I kind of love

00:20:16.200 it. And I love it because a Dale Carnegie quote, which I completely love. And I reference probably

00:20:21.440 way too often is that most burnout is not in the work, but in the feelings of worry, frustration,

00:20:30.600 and resentment, AKA when people feel burnt out, it's not that they're working so many hours. It's,

00:20:38.640 it's something, it's their impression of the work that they're doing. And so maybe Kyle's suggesting that,

00:20:45.320 like, Hey, burnout is maybe a result of having imposter syndrome when having a big goal, like

00:20:52.740 a moonshot goal. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. It is interesting. If that's what you're saying.

00:20:58.640 If, if people don't know what imposter syndrome is, it's feeling like you're not worthy of whatever

00:21:06.220 you're chasing because you're not that person. So if you want to run a marathon, you're like,

00:21:11.340 I'm a poser, right? I'm a, that's another word for it. That's what we use when we were kids.

00:21:16.120 You're a poser. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And so it creates a lot of self doubt towards your goals

00:21:21.780 and accomplish it. Look, I don't get it. I don't get imposter syndrome. When I say that,

00:21:28.960 what I say is I don't understand it and I don't get it personally. It's not something I deal with.

00:21:35.140 And I'll tell you why, because I'm not an imposter. Like I'm not telling people I'm God's gift to

00:21:42.120 whatever activity I'm engaged in. I don't believe that. I just believe I'm on the path. If it's

00:21:47.540 something as simple as running a marathon, like, I don't believe I'm going to break the world record

00:21:53.360 for a, for a marathon, but I don't have any problem with a guy going, you know, running and

00:22:01.700 saying, yeah, I'm going to run a marathon. Like there's no, there's no disconnect for me.

00:22:06.940 You know, for example, if I'm going to write a book and I've written a couple,

00:22:10.420 like, I don't feel like I'm unworthy of writing a book. I know I'm capable of writing a book and

00:22:16.480 I'm not telling myself something different than the reality of the situation, but I'm a published

00:22:21.200 author. That's a fact. So I don't know why we get into this thing of like, I don't, I'm not worthy.

00:22:29.760 I'm not, who's, who says you have to be, why are you putting that on yourself? I don't understand

00:22:35.340 it. Help me understand. Yeah. Is it because let's use the book as an example. Cause I think,

00:22:41.080 I think some people would see that as a moonshot for them, right? It's like, man, writing a book

00:22:46.260 that, that means something. Now you obviously 100% believe that that's within your realm of control.

00:22:54.060 You don't doubt you can do it. And, and thus your confidence is high is the imposter syndrome is

00:23:02.460 the result of if Bob says, Hey, I'm going to write a book. That's an ambitious idea for him,

00:23:09.420 but he really doesn't believe that he's capable. He really doesn't believe, but it sounds nice as a

00:23:18.800 goal. Right. And, and thus he, he has imposter syndrome versus you. You're like, no, I broke

00:23:25.240 this down. This is a logical process. I'm going to write so many words, you know, per week on a

00:23:29.240 repetitive basis. I, and I'm, I'm going to be a published real writer. It's that simple, but everyone

00:23:35.640 else, they just, their confidence level is just so low that they don't even think that's possible

00:23:40.620 for them. Well, that's the problem. They get imposter syndrome. I think that's the problem. You feel

00:23:45.100 like you need to be confident. You've never written a book. Why should you be confident in

00:23:48.560 writing a book? Yeah. Yeah. So here's what I think. Anybody who suffers from imposter syndrome,

00:23:54.560 and I'm not trying to beat people up. I know this is something to deal with. I'm trying to give them

00:23:57.900 a different perspective. This is good to flush out. Yeah. But anybody who deals with imposter

00:24:01.660 syndrome is not being humble. It's actually excessive hubris. It's hubris. It's arrogant.

00:24:08.320 Most people think, well, no, I'm humble. Like I don't feel that good about myself. And so that's why I

00:24:12.200 have imposter syndrome. No, you're being arrogant. Let me explain. You think you deserve something 0.93

00:24:18.340 better than you currently have. Just what? Because? Like you think, like if I said, if I,

00:24:24.780 if I had imposter syndrome and I felt like I, I, you know, I should be on the New York times

00:24:29.300 bestseller list, but I'm not because like, I'm not good enough. Right. Bingo. You're not good enough.

00:24:36.680 Now that's not meant to deflate. It just means you need to do something that New York times bestselling

00:24:41.080 authors do. That's it. So when it comes to writing a book, people will say, Oh, I don't know. I don't

00:24:46.240 know if I can do it. Well, yeah. What gives you the right to think you should, you never did it before.

00:24:51.980 That's the imposter and the arrogance. Who are you to believe that you should have the result of

00:24:58.680 something that you didn't earn? I think, I think humility crushes imposter syndrome

00:25:05.920 because now it's, you know what? Yeah. I don't think I'm good enough. Then I'm not talking about

00:25:12.200 false humility. I'm talking about actual humility, which is this. Yeah. I don't know if I can do this,

00:25:17.620 but damn, if I don't try. Yeah. Damn. If I don't wake up today and get a thousand words under my belt or 0.99

00:25:26.040 buy a course or read some material on how to write better, or, you know, talk to somebody who's written

00:25:32.040 a book and actually do something about it. And I think that is what helps you overcome imposter

00:25:39.540 syndrome. Stop worrying about what you should and shouldn't have that you haven't earned yet.

00:25:43.540 Now you can have goals like, Hey, if it's being on the New York times bestselling, it's cool,

00:25:47.820 but that shouldn't be deflating now reverse engineer, exercise some humility. And we're not

00:25:55.380 after confidence guys. Confidence is just the result. What you need is courage. That's what

00:26:02.380 people miss when, when people want to start a business, right? I hear from a lot of people

00:26:06.000 who want to start a podcast. They'll ask me, I'm just not confident. Yeah. Why should you be

00:26:10.300 confident? Have you ever done a podcast before? No. Why would you be confident about it? Then

00:26:14.220 you don't need confidence. You need courage. You need to act in the face of fear. And then through

00:26:21.680 those actions and overcoming your, your fear and uncertainty and doubt and concern,

00:26:26.120 you develop confidence, but that's a by-product of the exhibited courage that is required.

00:26:33.500 What do you think about this? Someone writes a book. It's not that the goal is I want to write a book.

00:26:40.680 It's the story that goes with it, right? Well, I'm going to be an author and I'll, you know,

00:26:45.720 maybe I'll be famous and I'll be well known. And it's, it's all that other stuff versus, okay,

00:26:51.660 I want to publish a book. This is what's required. Here's the tactical. And, and it's the arrogance

00:26:56.380 that, that suggests all these other things that you're going to get out of it, that, that you think

00:27:01.400 you deserve when in reality, it's, it's not really the goal of just writing the book.

00:27:06.680 Well, it, it, I don't think that I,

00:27:11.320 Do you get what I'm saying? Like they're latching on to the story of it, not,

00:27:15.740 not the tactical goal itself.

00:27:18.140 I think that I was going to say, I like the shoulds, like that shouldn't be,

00:27:22.460 I don't, if you're the, you hitting New York times is a motivation of yours. I'm not going

00:27:26.940 to say that shouldn't be the motivation. I just think it's inferior motivation because here's how

00:27:32.140 I'd look at it. If you want to be on New York times, how many books do you need to sell? I don't

00:27:35.800 know the number to that, but let's just say it's a hundred thousand. That's arbitrary. I don't know.

00:27:40.320 You need to sell a hundred thousand in the first, you know, eight weeks. Again,

00:27:43.480 I don't know, but let's just throw that as a number. It's not really about hitting the

00:27:47.940 New York times. It's about reaching a hundred thousand people with a message you think is

00:27:52.400 important to me. That's a significantly greater motive than I want to hit New York. New York

00:27:58.740 times is the by-product of reaching a thousand, excuse me, a hundred thousand people in eight

00:28:03.800 weeks with a message that you feel is important that you think is going to impact them in a positive

00:28:08.440 way. That's the motive. Yeah. Well, and if you feel the message is really important,

00:28:12.820 it's like, whether that's a thousand or whether it's 500, it's like, that's still important to

00:28:16.880 you. Right. If you, if it's, if you're really committed to the message and making an impact.

00:28:22.200 Well, I look, um, I was watching a show the other day. I started a new series. I think it's called

00:28:29.520 for all mankind. And it's, and it's a show that starts with the, um, the space race to the moon

00:28:37.780 with the Russians. And in the series, the Russians actually beat the Americans to the moon. And it

00:28:44.440 kind of starts that way. And then what, what takes place and transpires from there. So I got thinking

00:28:48.860 about this the other day and we're talking again about Mike Massimino, uh, for the book moonshot

00:28:53.480 did Neil Armstrong. I don't know the answer to this, but did Neil Armstrong do what he did so he could be

00:28:59.700 the first man on the moon or was it more about advancing technology and exploration and the,

00:29:08.380 the discovery for all mankind? Was that the motive or was being the first man on the moon,

00:29:16.940 the motive being the first man on the moon is, it's just, it happens to be what it is

00:29:22.600 in the pursuit of space exploration. Right. Yeah. And I think if we focus on that rather than title

00:29:31.700 or the, or the result, again, I believe that that's a superior motive. That's all I'm saying.

00:29:36.980 Sorry. One other thing, the first part of his question was recovering from burnout. Two things

00:29:41.620 on that. If we have a superior motive, burnout becomes less relevant, I think. And then the other

00:29:46.980 thing that I would suggest on that really briefly, cause I want to get to some other things here

00:29:50.960 is you can mix things up, but stay on the same course. So again, well, sure. Yeah. As long as

00:30:01.500 you're moving towards your objective, again, another example, since we talked a lot about writing a book

00:30:05.640 is maybe you just push that chapter aside for a minute. Cause you're like, ah, like I'm burned out.

00:30:11.100 I'm tired. Like this, like I'm creating inferior work. I don't really know. Go write a different

00:30:15.940 chapter for a minute. We did, uh, early on six years ago, we had this event called uprising and

00:30:21.740 it was 28 men would come in and we did, I think we did three or four of these. And I got tired of 0.90

00:30:27.100 that particular event. I was like, I don't want to do that event anymore. It wasn't that events were

00:30:31.480 wrong. It wasn't that I didn't want to advance what we're doing. It's like, I I've done that. I got

00:30:35.480 it. And so we created legacy, which is a father son event, very similar, but it's with fathers and

00:30:42.060 sons. Uh, so we did that and had a lot of good times and, and, and things with that still advancing

00:30:47.540 the mission, just doing something a little different. The cool thing is we're actually

00:30:51.120 redoing legacy now in a new way, uprising, or excuse me, uprising. Yes. And we have one coming

00:30:58.260 up in may it's may 2nd through the 5th. If you want to know about that, I think we have seven or

00:31:01.740 eight spots it's order a man.com slash uprising, but it's not that I got like completely deviated from

00:31:09.440 the mission or just said, Oh, I'm bored of that. I'm going to burn order a man to the ground. Now

00:31:12.800 I was like, okay, I don't want to do that. Let me do something else for now. That helps me because,

00:31:17.840 uh, I tend to get distracted and I think I have to go in a completely different direction. No,

00:31:24.620 you can go in the same direction, just doing different tactics. That's helped me personally.

00:31:29.240 Yeah. When I think, I think you enjoy the creativeness of coming up with something new.

00:31:35.760 Right. And, and even if, because I, I loved uprising when you, when you choose not to do

00:31:41.040 them again, I was like, are you crazy? They're like so awesome. I couldn't understand it,

00:31:46.720 but I understand the idea of like, man, but I w I want to be creative. I want to try out something

00:31:52.960 new. I want to evolve and not just do the same thing really, really well. And I think that's just

00:31:58.960 part of your personality a little bit. Yeah. So yeah, for sure. And I think a lot of,

00:32:03.520 I hear from a lot of people who get burned out and tired of things. I get it. The fact that,

00:32:08.080 that we've done order of man for nine years in March is a miracle for me because I could have

00:32:17.920 been, I've, there's been times where I'm like, Oh, again, what? 1400 podcast, another podcast. Yep.

00:32:25.800 That's true. That's a lot. Because every single week I talk with outside of you and I having this

00:32:30.480 conversation, I talk with completely different people every single week. And that keeps it

00:32:34.940 exciting and refreshing for me. I get a little bored and stagnant with you, but the other guys,

00:32:38.760 they keep me in the game. Yep. All right. Lewis Tarone, who are your top three to five bucket list

00:32:46.540 guests talking about podcasts? Yeah. Who you have not already had on the podcast. Are you taking

00:32:52.280 actionable steps to get them on? I think this ties into the moonshot discussion that we're having in

00:32:57.160 the iron council. I saw this question. I wanted to come prepared. Uh, so I wrote down a couple of

00:33:01.800 people that immediately came to mind. Number one, Jordan Peterson. Uh, and we've had him scheduled

00:33:06.200 two or three times and just haven't, haven't secured it, even though they've been scheduled

00:33:10.900 very frustrating, but I think we'll get that. I think we'll make that happen. Um, you know, and,

00:33:16.140 and I've, I've, I've talked about this in the iron council because the other one that came to mind

00:33:20.380 is Andrew Huberman. I call it unnecessary intellectualism. And I, I, I see this trend of,

00:33:28.160 of intel, like, like Andrew Huberman, Jordan Peterson, those two, they're intellects.

00:33:34.160 Yeah. And I, every time I subscribe to their podcast, I don't always listen. I think there's

00:33:39.520 great information and I think they do a phenomenal job backing up what everybody already knows

00:33:44.260 anyways. And, and I think some people need that. Like Andrew Huberman will do a podcast for three

00:33:50.160 hours on why sleep is important. We already know that sleep's important, but some of us need the

00:33:56.460 reason and the data and everything else behind it. Some of us need an excuse and it's mental

00:34:01.960 gymnastics and mental masturbation rather than just getting your sleep and getting your nutrition, 0.98

00:34:05.780 your exercise. You spend a bunch of inordinate amounts of time learning about it, but they are

00:34:10.000 intriguing. The thing I like about Jordan Peterson, although there is a lot of

00:34:13.760 unnecessary intellectualism is you can see the man in real time working through problems. And I

00:34:20.920 like that about Jordan Peterson. Like he, as he talks, it's the, he's, it's almost the way his

00:34:26.960 brain is processing information, which is why it's kind of a little bit sporadic and kind of all over

00:34:32.200 the place. And because he's thinking through the problem. I like that. That's interesting to me.

00:34:37.680 And I also do like with Andrew Huberman, even though it has some of that unnecessary intellectualism,

00:34:42.880 um, I like that it's supporting, like we're looking at the factual data because in today's

00:34:51.860 societies, there's so much driven by bias, by opinion, by ideology, by dogma. And he comes in

00:34:59.640 with the data and says, no, here's what alcohol is doing to your body and brain.

00:35:03.940 Well, but it's cool. That's fine. Whatever. Like if you need it for stress relief or whatever,

00:35:08.660 then fine. But here's the data, no opinion about it. Here's the facts. And I like that

00:35:15.400 for certain topics. So it's a long way of saying, I, even though I see some, I struggle with some of

00:35:21.740 their messaging, Jordan Peterson and Andrew Huberman would be great additions to the podcast.

00:35:25.200 Um, micro and then enough, you know, in the political realm, I would love to have DeSantis

00:35:31.440 on and Trump. I'm a little, I'm a little disappointed. Admittedly that Ron DeSantis

00:35:37.300 isn't getting the nod. You know, he backed out of the race several weeks ago. I'm a little

00:35:42.700 disappointed. I think he would have made a great president. He's a great governor. I think he would

00:35:48.000 have made a great president. And I get so frustrated because, you know, you'll hear like, why can't we

00:35:53.080 hire or why can't we elect? Like, this is the best we have. Why can't we elect, you know, guys who are

00:35:58.400 good people who would do a good job? We had, we had somebody and we screwed it up, you know?

00:36:06.160 And everybody's like, Oh, Trump, he's an at this, that, and this like, yeah, the guy who could have

00:36:10.980 done a good job, who who's proven time and time again in the state of Florida, that he can run a

00:36:17.640 political office and move an agenda forward. We said, no, I don't understand. I think it's just

00:36:26.640 the reality TV thing that we're interested in, you know, like, like Biden, Biden, Trump, you know,

00:36:33.100 season four or whatever it is. And so we're just attracted to the drama, but I would be interested

00:36:38.420 in having DeSantis and Trump. And then I was thinking it would be cool to have them together.

00:36:42.640 If I could even manage that, I don't know if I could handle that, but that would be cool.

00:36:47.640 And then the last person I put on here was Rogan. Of course he's on everybody's list. So there's four

00:36:52.240 or five or six people that I'd love to have on. Cool. Anybody you'd have a skip, man. No, I mean,

00:36:59.400 those are, those are all the ones that I would think that you would have on the list. I mean, I would

00:37:04.520 love to, I mean, I could listen to and watch Peterson process data all day. You know what I mean?

00:37:11.780 I love that guy. So very interesting. No, there's a couple of guys I, I like, but I don't know if

00:37:19.760 you'd want them on, you know, that they're a little rough on the edges, you know? So who is it?

00:37:25.060 I think, I think Theo Vaughn would be a blast. He'd be great to talk to. I think who's my,

00:37:35.220 I always talk about him, Ryan Hummington. I think I, I told you to, Oh, is he a fitness guy?

00:37:41.700 You should reach out to him. Yeah. Yeah. Super rough on the edges on his fitness videos, but

00:37:48.560 highly intelligent, but funny to listen to. I listened to a couple of videos. I'm like,

00:37:53.260 I don't know. Is this guy funny? But maybe I didn't give it a fair shake. Cause you sent me

00:37:57.600 that. I'm like, Oh, this is funny. Maybe I didn't see the funny one. I don't know.

00:38:00.680 You got to watch it more. You got to watch it more. All right. I'll check it out. I probably

00:38:04.660 didn't give him a fair shake. Yeah. There you go. Come on. So then that way you can show Ryan that

00:38:10.620 you're so funny. If you guys have other suggestions, let me know. Cause I'm all about it. And he was

00:38:15.020 asking, am I actively doing anything? Oh yeah. We reach out to these guys and we ask for connections

00:38:19.740 from other podcasts they've been on. So I've got a list. In fact, the couple of you just told me,

00:38:24.180 I wrote down on the list myself. What do you, what do you think about Huberman? You said a little bit

00:38:29.940 about Jordan Peterson. One thing I like about Jordan Peterson is I love his vocabulary. Like

00:38:34.900 his vocabulary makes you think about concepts in a new way. I do like that. It might be an old

00:38:41.940 concept that all of us know, but the way he says it, you're like, Oh shit. I never thought about. 0.99

00:38:45.760 Yeah. Yeah. I never thought about it like that. And I love his vocabulary. Yeah. No, I love

00:38:51.940 Huberman's solid. I love what you said though. Cause it's so true. Right. And, and that if

00:39:01.840 something's right, they, they, it gets overly explained, which could be valuable to some people.

00:39:06.900 And then in, in some cases it's just noise. And, and a perfect example of that is, you know,

00:39:13.160 him in the interview he did with Jocko. Right. So he talks about Jocko's day. Right. And if you ask

00:39:18.980 Jocko, I said, Hey, what does your typical day in your workout look like? Jocko would be like,

00:39:23.300 I do these things because it's good for me. Right. Period. And then Huberman spends the next

00:39:28.200 two hours explaining the science around why Jocko is right. You know, it's like, did, did I need to

00:39:34.120 know all that? Probably not. But, but there's stuff that he shares that I'm like rocks my world.

00:39:40.660 You know, like a key thing was sunglasses. Have you heard that episode? No, where you increase

00:39:49.120 your chances of being sunburned by wearing sunglasses when the sun is out. Right. Because

00:39:57.120 you go out in the sun more, I mean, and you're, and you're telling your brain that it's overcast

00:40:03.920 and your skin adjusts based upon the brightness and UV rays. And, and so by wearing sunglasses,

00:40:11.520 you're sending the wrong message to the brain. I think that's fascinating. Like those kinds of

00:40:17.160 things that he shares. I'm like, no way. But yeah, but the concept, like, this is what I'm saying.

00:40:22.500 Like, I never heard that episode, but right. Like, yeah, you, because you're more, you expose yourself

00:40:29.320 to the sun more. Cause you think you're good. Like it took me a half a second to explain that

00:40:34.160 like, we all know that. True. Like I might not have thought about that as soon as you said it,

00:40:39.540 to understand the principle. Yeah. As soon as you say it, look, I'm not like, I'm just saying like,

00:40:44.840 it's interesting. And I'm interested in how his mind works. Cause he's brilliant.

00:40:49.880 And the other thing I like about Andrew Huberman is he looks the part, which means that he lit,

00:40:57.580 dude. I saw that guy with his shirt off. I think he went and ran with campaigns. Damn for a scientist

00:41:03.860 for a, I don't even know what his name, a neurologist or what I don't know. Yeah. No, 1.00

00:41:08.660 he's got like a, like a medical degree, I think. And then I saw him like, he's a neuroscientist.

00:41:13.900 Yeah. Yeah. This guy's, this guy's legit. Like he's actually following his advice. So that's one

00:41:19.440 thing I'd really respect about him as well. So yeah. Um, real ones. Who's that? That does podcast.

00:41:26.800 My, uh, John Bergenthal. Is that his name? John Punisher.

00:41:31.560 Bernthal. Bernthal. Something like that. I'm writing his name down. His rawness. His,

00:41:37.880 his, his, how raw he is. The one that he did with, uh, Shia LaBeouf or LaBeouf, whatever that guy's

00:41:45.180 name is. That's one of the best conversations I've ever heard. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. He has a,

00:41:55.760 an ability to get people to get real raw on his, on his podcast, which I just, yeah, I love, I love.

00:42:05.860 Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Cool. All right. Cody gold gold. You can't change anyone's opinion of you,

00:42:13.540 but how do you deal with this as you are trying to evolve? The world carries a people never change

00:42:19.620 mentality. And so many people will always see me as a person I was before and not the man I'm working

00:42:25.720 to become. I know they will see the chart, the change eventually, but the negativity is, is enough

00:42:31.820 some days to make me want to give up as a lot of people in my life, including family continually tell

00:42:38.340 me I won't ever change. How do you deal with this? When you're working on the man, you know,

00:42:43.480 you need to be, I love, I love this question. I love this question. Cause this is something a lot

00:42:48.460 of guys deal with the PR. I don't agree with the premise first and foremost. You said you can't

00:42:54.080 get people to change their opinion of you. That's not true. Of course they'll change their opinion

00:42:58.800 about you. Like you, you even pointed out later in the question, you said, I know it'll take time.

00:43:03.160 Well, there you go. So you just disproved what you, the premise of the question, you can get people

00:43:08.280 to change their opinion of you. It takes time, but that shouldn't be your motive anyways.

00:43:15.120 This is the problem with the question, not the question, but the idea that the thought process

00:43:19.280 that you're working through right now is you're considering giving up because your motive is to

00:43:24.520 get people to change their opinion of you. And then when they don't, because it takes longer than

00:43:29.380 you feel like they should, as you can control somebody, then you're going to throw in the towel

00:43:34.820 because you know, they're not doing what they should be doing. Change your motive, Cody.

00:43:40.920 Your motive shouldn't be, I want to get this person to change their perspective of me. Your

00:43:44.240 motive should be, I want to be a better human being. And if they change their perspective of me,

00:43:48.040 great. And if they don't, so what? I'm not doing this for other people anyways.

00:43:53.660 So what is your motive? Is it to convince everybody around you, how great you are, or that you can get

00:43:58.880 better, or is it to actually get better and improve? Now, having the support around you is a

00:44:05.540 good tool for you to continue to move forward. If you have somebody in your corner cheering you on

00:44:11.280 saying, bro, you're doing such a good job, that's going to be better than having somebody in your 1.00

00:44:14.940 corner saying, you're a horrible piece of shit. I remember who you were before. 1.00

00:44:19.600 Yeah.

00:44:19.740 So it's not the motive. It's just a tool. And in order to do that, you have to find different people.

00:44:24.220 You're right. There's going to be people in your corner that there's people that know me

00:44:29.100 from high school. And they're like, I knew you in high school, bro. That was 25 years ago.

00:44:34.180 Of course, I was a little douchebag in high school because I was 17 years old.

00:44:39.840 I'm still a lot like that at 42 years old. But look, if that's your perspective of me from 25 years

00:44:47.300 ago, yeah, like I really don't need you in my corner. So find different people. You're one of

00:44:56.020 those, Kip. You know, we played each other in sports, but we didn't know each other in high

00:45:00.980 school. So you didn't ever know that side of me. You know who I am and who I'm working to become.

00:45:06.900 And we have this connection. And you're somebody in my corner as I'm I and yours who are supporting

00:45:11.660 and encouraging and saying what needs to be said in a loving, empathetic way. Those are the people

00:45:17.960 that you need in your life. So start being selective about who you have in your life.

00:45:23.100 The saying often goes, what is it? Never a profit in your own land or something like that.

00:45:29.980 Right. Because people know you from who you used to be or the mistakes you used to make.

00:45:35.340 And so just find different people. Cody, that's why you're in Iron Council. You can go to business

00:45:40.380 luncheons. You can go where successful people are and insert yourself into the environment and they

00:45:45.640 know nothing about the past you. They know who you are today. And that gives you a great opportunity

00:45:50.660 to a start over and be find supportive people who will be in your corner as you progress along your

00:45:55.880 journey. Yeah, I like it. I, I want to share a message. I got, I got a message on Instagram last

00:46:04.880 week from a guy and he said that, um, he's, he was reaching the end breaking point. I'm making some

00:46:14.620 assumptions, maybe suicidal, whatever living in his car, life fell apart. Just everything is dire

00:46:23.140 grabs the podcast for whatever reason. I don't know how he found or whatever listens to an episode,

00:46:29.800 shoots an email. And he's like, thank you. Right. I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm going to become

00:46:39.280 the man that I need to become. Right. And, and I felt inclined to, you know, not just give him a fist

00:46:46.320 bump. I'm like, you got this. Right. But I actually sent him an audio file. And what I told him was,

00:46:52.440 I truly believe we can recreate, or we're constantly inventing who we are. And the man

00:47:03.700 that he was yesterday, he can choose not to be that man today. I, I so like, I, I believe it in

00:47:11.000 the depths of my soul. That's up to us to do. And, and, and I told him, and don't wait to become some man,

00:47:20.960 you know, a year from now, just be that person today. How you show up today, be that person.

00:47:29.140 Now, are you going to make mistakes? Absolutely. Are you going to be perfect? Absolutely. Do you

00:47:33.120 want to be a better version of yourself tomorrow than you were today? Absolutely. But just be that

00:47:38.120 person today. And I hear that a little bit in Cody's, right. Working on becoming right. No, no,

00:47:44.520 no, no. Just be become, yeah. Become be that man today. That's it. And when, when people in your

00:47:51.740 life remind you of the dipshit you were, then you say, yeah, you know what? I'm sorry about that. 0.99

00:47:59.340 No, you don't excuse it. You don't make excuses. You own it and you go, yeah, you know, I was sorry

00:48:05.780 about that. And then you keep being that person today. And, and I've done this, right? I had an

00:48:13.640 ex-wife that she did not want to let go of who I was. And every single time she reminded me of how

00:48:21.720 I quote unquote ruined our family and destroyed it. I just said, yeah, you know, I'm sorry.

00:48:29.760 I'm sorry about that. And then I just kept trying to become, or be the man I know I should have been

00:48:38.400 right now in this moment today. And just keep repeating that.

00:48:44.860 It's powerful. It's also an interesting way to shut down the people who are chirping at you.

00:48:50.760 Cause I like, I have people on social media to be like, you're an asshole. It's like, yeah, 1.00

00:48:54.740 I know I try not to be, but I definitely fall short every single day. Or I'll say,

00:48:59.440 man, and you're only seeing the best of me. Imagine if you saw the rest of me.

00:49:06.400 Yeah. Like you start saying stuff like that. Yeah. And everybody else around me knows like

00:49:11.000 you say stuff like that. People just stop. They're like, Oh, okay. I think he knows.

00:49:17.160 Or I had one guy one time tell me, he's like, you're, you're such what it is. It was like,

00:49:22.100 you're, you're a, you're like a poser or something. You're a fraud or whatever. You fall short of what 1.00

00:49:26.360 you say. I'm like, yeah, absolutely. Every single day I fall short of the ideal of who

00:49:32.000 I want to be. I don't know. What's your point? Nothing. Cause you just own it. It's like, yeah,

00:49:37.640 I know I'm, I'm a human. I fall short. I'm not great. Um, there's a question I ask myself

00:49:42.980 quite often that has been a powerful question for me. And it's along the lines of what you talked

00:49:48.320 about of being versus becoming. And it's this, how would the man I want to be show up in this

00:49:55.980 situation? So earlier I talked about missing the gym. How would the man I want to be show up?

00:50:03.640 What would he do? Well, he'd go to the gym after this conversation. That's what he would do. So

00:50:09.260 that's what I need to do. Or if you're frustrated with, you know, you talk about with your ex and I,

00:50:14.120 you know, I have that situation at times too. How would the man I want to be converse with her

00:50:19.860 in spite of the frustrations? Well, he would do this, this, and this good do that. It's just a

00:50:26.200 great practice in conscious thinking, projecting out into the future about who you want to be and

00:50:33.140 thinking about something other than what you currently are. And then using that as a litmus test

00:50:37.080 for your behavior today. Yeah. And after all, it's all we have today. It's all we have really.

00:50:44.080 Yep. Right. In the grand scheme of things. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We're going to hop over to

00:50:47.880 Facebook, facebook.com slash order of man, John, sorry, interrupted you. Uh, Pedroza. No, you're

00:50:55.340 fine. John Pedroza. So I've spent the last year and a half in Zay, Zay, Zay Hoff, Poland. And this

00:51:04.040 guy's like, he's like, Oh, I purposely added that because I want to see Kip stumble. So,

00:51:08.180 you know what, John, take that. But he, although I did read ahead. So I was going to say he gave

00:51:12.900 the pronunciation of it. Full disclosure, full disclosure. All right. 2.5 years before that,

00:51:21.000 he was in Afghanistan, Afghanistan. I'm coming back to visit in February. So he's coming back to the U.S.

00:51:27.020 Okay. Looking at the news from the U S it seems absolutely insane these days. Is this a case where

00:51:33.840 the media is blowing things out of proportion or are things really that crazy in the U S love the

00:51:39.460 show? Long time fan fan. I found order of man in the darkest time of my life. And it has helped me

00:51:46.240 immensely. Thank you and Kip for all that you do for the men everywhere. Well, we're, I mean, first we're

00:51:51.240 honored to be able to do it. I mean, to even be in the position to be able to do it is something that

00:51:55.040 I'm really grateful for. So thank you. Uh, yes. And yes, yes. The media is blowing things out of

00:52:01.700 proportion and yes, we live in crazy, crazy times. And you know what? Brace yourself. Cause then it's

00:52:06.960 going to get worse. I'm going to get a little political here. If Biden gets reelected, it's

00:52:11.660 going to get significantly worse. I'm just going to throw that out there right now. You think it's bad

00:52:15.800 now? Uh, me and a friend of mine, Rick trimmer went to lunch the other day and he bought like a salad

00:52:22.460 with some chicken on it was $17, $17 for a salad lettuce with a little bit of chicken on it.

00:52:32.080 There's inflation for you. You think it's bad today? Wait till there's no, uh, re-election bid for

00:52:38.180 Biden. Cause right now he's got a little bit of concern cause he has to get reelected.

00:52:42.780 If he gets reelected again, you're not concerned about getting reelected.

00:52:46.220 You think the border crisis is, is rough now? Wait till there's no consequence. It's going to

00:52:53.640 get bad guys. Like go out and vote for conservative values. And I, I don't get, I don't get a political

00:53:02.540 a whole lot here. You guys can do what you want to do, but I'm telling you, if we want to steer the

00:53:07.160 direction of this country in the right way, we can't vote for this, this modern leftist ideology.

00:53:13.300 It's an antithetical to what we stand for and antithetical to what men are about. And, and I'll

00:53:20.080 put, you know, my stamp on that for sure. Uh, so it's going to get crazy, especially in an election

00:53:25.000 year. Look, I know even to, to again, political, uh, with Trump, people are like, Oh, he's a horrible 0.82

00:53:31.640 human being. Yeah, I know. Like we all know he's not a moral person and highly polarizing. 0.98

00:53:36.780 Unfortunately, presidential just right. I know that, but you know, I'm not going to say,

00:53:43.580 I don't care about that. I do care about that. But if you're saying that Biden is better on the,

00:53:48.180 the moral high ground, I would say, think again, he presents differently, but definitely not a moral

00:53:54.960 individual. Uh, what I care about in a president is policy. Yes. I would love to have a moral person

00:54:02.160 in the, in the Oval Office. I think the person that we could have had, we said we didn't want,

00:54:08.460 as I referenced earlier, uh, in the absence of morality. Now I have to base my decision on policy

00:54:16.520 and, and under Trump, the direction of this country, the border being secured, uh, inflation

00:54:24.020 going down, booming and growing economy, foreign conflicts, uh, less of an issue, a non-factor,

00:54:31.320 frankly, at all that's policy I can get behind. So it's so in the spirit of the question, again,

00:54:37.960 I'm getting a little political. I normally don't, but it's important. We discuss this, especially

00:54:41.820 in an election year. And that's the point of the answer is it's going to get crazy because we're in

00:54:47.380 an election cycle right now. And it's a very serious one. It's a very, very important election

00:54:52.740 cycle, probably the most important election cycle in my lifetime for sure. So I think this is

00:54:59.220 important we discuss. Um, and also, yes, the media blows things out of proportion because they want

00:55:03.560 our eyeballs. So you have to collect information from different sources and exercise some discernment

00:55:09.460 and think critically about these things. Uh, all in all, I still believe that America is a great

00:55:14.020 place to live. Uh, I, I think there's a lot of opportunity here. I think the people here generally

00:55:19.380 are great people on both sides of the aisle for the most part. We have extremists on both sides and

00:55:24.760 people that I can't stand on both sides. And, but I think if you find deviants, uh, deviations on one

00:55:32.400 side or the other, it's, it's not that far off really. Um, but yeah, I think this is a crucial

00:55:38.500 election cycle that could dictate a lot of the direction of this country for the next

00:55:42.680 several decades or century. So take that for what it's worth. Yeah. Welcome back to the U S when 0.98

00:55:50.020 you show up. Yeah. Move, move to a, move to a conservative place, a good state. Yeah. Stay,

00:55:56.780 stay, stay out of the coastal cities and the big cities and the Democrat run cities. And I think

00:56:01.480 you'll have a better experience. Yeah. Austin Chamberlain, what are some lessons that you've learned in

00:56:07.900 marketing? What are some good metrics for measuring how well it's working for context? I'm teaching

00:56:13.240 firearm classes and I'm marketing primarily through social media. Yeah. Good metrics are sales. That's

00:56:20.060 it. Are you selling? Yeah. You know, if you sold 20 spots this time and you sold 25, the next time you

00:56:28.160 did something better than you did the first time, figure out what it is. That's the key, right? That's

00:56:31.600 the key to marketing because it's hard to isolate what exactly worked. Cause if you're talking about

00:56:36.500 selling firearm courses and you sell one in January and you sell 20 spots and then you have

00:56:42.920 one in let's say June and you sell 40 spots, did you do a better job marketing or are people more

00:56:49.980 interested in being outside in June than they are in January? So that's going to give you some

00:56:55.560 feedback. And the way you do that is you ask, Hey, what, you know, what is it about this one?

00:56:59.420 We had another event, but you signed up for this one. Why? Oh, because it, you know, the kids are out

00:57:03.320 of school and it makes more sense, or I was going to be here anyways, or the weather's better or

00:57:06.980 January, you know, we're just kind of getting a new year. We're busy. So you start to see what's

00:57:11.780 going on. So I think one of the things you can do from a marketing standpoint is get who your

00:57:15.740 demographic is, get to know them really, really well. And there's tools like Facebook, Instagram,

00:57:22.460 these social media tools, YouTube, where you can actually go down and break down the demographic.

00:57:27.600 And Facebook does a phenomenal job on this because they want to advertise. It's a big advertising

00:57:32.360 platform really is what it is. If we strip everything else away, it's, it's an ad agency.

00:57:38.300 They just have a medium that's never been introduced to us before up until what,

00:57:42.100 15 years ago or whatever it's been 20 years, maybe, I don't know. But you can get the demographics

00:57:47.780 and then figure out. And then you actually ask the people who come, why they come, what they're

00:57:53.800 interested in, what they're here for, even what verbiage they like. Cause you'll start to notice,

00:57:58.620 you know, we noticed it in the iron council. We did, we do surveys and we asked guys what was

00:58:04.280 their biggest reason for joining. And I thought it was going to be accountability. It wasn't

00:58:08.200 accountability. Do you remember what it was, Kip? Yeah. It was like a brotherhood or like-minded

00:58:13.900 being around like-minded people. And that was the verbiage. The verbiage was brotherhood.

00:58:18.040 So guess what words I use in my marketing? Brotherhood. Why would I say anything else?

00:58:24.820 That's what they said they're here for. So of course that's the, the, the method I'm going to

00:58:28.920 use. So I would say, again, get to know your audience, figure out where they are, figure out

00:58:34.540 who they are, figure out what motivates, scares, and entices them and customize your marketing message,

00:58:41.320 whether it's on Instagram or doing videos or a podcast like this or Facebook or YouTube,

00:58:47.160 whatever your medium is, figure out a way to communicate a message that they want to hear.

00:58:55.980 Yeah. And for you guys that would love to join us in the future, but are unable to due to our

00:59:02.500 enrollment, not being open until this February, you can sign up for our battle ready program.

00:59:09.140 Go to order of man.com slash battle ready. This is a program where you can actually walk through

00:59:14.680 the battle plan process. I think you get weekly emails in regards to what that looks like. And

00:59:22.580 you kind of get a guided process. We believe that guys that do the battle ready program even sets you

00:59:27.460 up even for quicker success when you do join us in the iron council. And if you want to learn more

00:59:33.800 about the iron council, you can go to order of man.com slash iron council. As always, you can connect

00:59:39.040 with Mr. Mickler on Twitter and X or Twitter and Instagram or X and Instagram. Jeez. I got a lot of

00:59:45.340 notes or whatever it is on the socials at Ryan Mickler. That's M I C H L E R on the last name.

00:59:52.720 And just a little uprising may second through the fifth order of man.com slash uprising. And we're

00:59:59.420 not actually open until March. Just want to throw that out there in the iron council. That's right.

01:00:02.740 Sorry. March. And the battle ready program is a series of emails over 30 days that you'll receive.

01:00:08.380 So you're going to get one every day or two, depending on what the assignment is. And that's

01:00:13.240 the cool thing with this guys is that you're actually going to get assignments and they're

01:00:17.160 not lengthy. They're not going to take all day. They might take one might take, you know, 10 minutes

01:00:22.020 and another one might take you 30 minutes. But we give you some space and the time you need. But the

01:00:26.580 idea is that when you're done after 30 days, you've got this beautifully crafted plan for the next

01:00:32.180 quarter of your life. And you have the very specific actions required to go out and implement

01:00:39.320 this. I don't want you to have some beautifully crafted plan. If you're not exercising it,

01:00:43.480 I'd rather to have you an ugly plan that you're actually doing. So we're going to help you create

01:00:48.500 a beautifully crafted plan that you're actually implementing. That's what we're about. So

01:00:52.840 check that out at order man.com slash battery Kip. I really enjoyed this conversation. We had some

01:00:58.220 really, really thoughtful and interesting questions today. So I appreciate the guys.

01:01:02.180 Yeah, I agree. I agree. We're always appreciative of you guys participating, right? In making these

01:01:09.060 conversations available for all of us to consider, right? Us as well as those listening. So thank you.

01:01:14.680 Yeah. All right, guys, you've got your marching orders and we'll be back for our Friday field notes

01:01:21.860 on Friday. Until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

01:01:25.920 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be

01:01:31.580 more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - January 31, 2024

Unnecessary Intellectualism, Perfection Paralysis, and Imposter Syndrome ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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