In this episode, we discuss the importance of being a man of action, and how to deal with life's challenges. We also talk about the power of a brotherhood, and the value of being surrounded by people who have your back.
00:02:29.980And what, and this is, this is the power of banning with people because when you're not feeling it, are you around people that are going to lift you up and talk into you and, and bring you up when you're feeling down, you know?
00:02:43.240So just, it's just a testament to what we're doing, uh, in the iron council.
00:02:48.400And of course that's, that's open for enrollment.
00:02:51.720Um, so anybody that's interested in banning with us, um, certainly look up order of man.com slash iron council.
00:03:00.020Well, you know, there's another thing here too, uh, about brotherhood that I didn't even think about till you said it.
00:03:05.420I was actually going to bring up that you seemed a little off this morning and you and I know each other well enough at this point where, you know, you can read me pretty well.
00:03:14.620I can read you pretty well, even through this digital medium that we have here, but that's a power of knowing your friends, knowing the guys who you have their back and they have your back.
00:03:25.280Because when one of those guys is off, you, you actually notice it.
00:03:29.320And then of course it's your responsibility to say something about it.
00:03:33.900So I'm not sure if it's just the tiredness or you just are going to miss Asia or, you know, what life is going to be like without her here with the kids and everything.
00:03:42.020Look, it could be a combination of all of it.
00:04:03.380Whether you guys listening gets value out of this or not, Ryan and I may just have these conversations regardless of whether we ever record.
00:04:25.000Um, I heard, uh, I've heard some whisperings and then I heard, or I saw it on the, on the TV at the gym today.
00:04:31.620Uh, and this one comes from NBC news and the title is this major maritime strike could threaten ports across the entire East coast.
00:04:38.840So in about a week, if there's not an agreement between, uh, what is it called?
00:04:43.720The ICL or ILC ILA, which is the international long shore shoreman's association and the U M let's see us MX, which is the United States maritime alliance.
00:05:00.420There are negotiations right now for two things, primarily increased wages for members of the, uh, long shoreman's association.
00:05:09.820And, uh, they're trying to get that from this alliance, which is represent, uh, representation of all of the port employers across the country.
00:05:21.680So we're talking thousands and thousands of employees and not just on the East coast.
00:05:28.000I heard something today that the, uh, president or chairman of the ILA has actually convinced, uh, ports on the West coast, not to open their ports to merchandise that's being redirected from the East coast to the West coast.
00:05:44.920Otherwise they lose their bargaining power.
00:05:46.440So we're talking about billions and billions of dollars of goods that are going to be delayed.
00:05:54.000And if there's a day long strike, it could take, I think if I understood correctly, five weeks of seeing the ramifications of that.
00:06:02.400And if it happens to be a month of striking, we're looking at getting into 2025 and the negative ramifications of imported products, which obviously.
00:06:15.260What that means is we're looking at greater inflation.
00:06:24.440A couple of things that really stood out is number one is that the ILA is looking for additional, uh, pay for their members.
00:06:34.620I think they've averaged a 2% increase in pay over the past several years when obviously the rate of inflation and the cost of living has increased multiple times that 2%.
00:06:52.140But the other thing that really stood out to me, and this is one that gets under my skin and irks me a little bit, is the ILA is bargaining for, uh, shutting down technological advances in shipping operations.
00:07:04.520So essentially they don't want technology to replace their members' jobs.
00:07:11.260And while I can certainly understand the sentiment, if you're a member of the, the ILA, like the big thing that a couple of years ago was, uh, learn to code.
00:07:25.180I don't know if you remember that, but it's like, learn to code guys, whether you're a member of the ILA or something completely different, know that technology is always a threat to your job.
00:07:54.160I also look at it in some of these white collar jobs, legal, for example, accounting, your job is going to be obsolete except for a few specialties in the area.
00:08:05.040But if you don't think that a computer AI program can figure out all the little nuances of tax code way more effectively and officially than you can, you're just lying to yourself.
00:08:16.860If you don't think a computer can look at all the intricacies of U.S. law and determine how to proceed or how to put together a document better than you can do it, that's your arrogance speaking.
00:08:28.260And what I want to suggest to you and the moral of I think this story is you are replaceable either by another human being who's better and working harder than you or the technology that's going to work to put you out of a job.
00:08:40.440So we need to remain vigilant as men, not only on the consumer side, because now we're looking at supply chain issues, we're looking at increased cost of goods and services.
00:08:50.180But now we're looking at literally thousands, tens, maybe even hundreds of thousands of jobs on the line because technology is coming whether you want it to or not.
00:09:01.500And it will happen. It absolutely will happen. So be ready and get out ahead of it right now.
00:09:05.780Yeah. I mean, that's one of the pillars that we have in our leadership development that you and I identified was adaptability and how critical that is.
00:09:15.680And you don't have to look far into the past to see evidence of organizations that doubled down and didn't adapt.
00:09:24.680I mean, look at Blockbuster, right? It's like, come on, people, embrace some tech, embrace some innovation, and then figure out your role in it.
00:09:36.460But if you're too rigid in it, you're just going to lose out, right? Unfortunately.
00:09:41.320And based upon where we are, that adaptability may pivot and change.
00:09:45.640It was funny. I was talking with a friend that we were talking about a jujitsu move called a lockdown.
00:09:52.180It's kind of this position where someone kind of traps one of your legs, and it's kind of annoying, right?
00:10:50.700And maybe you'll need it as you evolve and change.
00:10:53.700But the adaptability aspect of it is, I mean, that's a principle that's just transcendent across martial arts and, you know, personal development and business, for that matter.
00:12:14.460Why do you find yourself in this position?
00:12:16.480And that's what a lot of guys won't do is they'll get beat or passed up or passed over.
00:12:20.720And then they'll just throw up their hands instead of thinking, oh, man, maybe if I did this or maybe this is what got me into that position, they could be better the next time.
00:12:34.800One, and this is a perfect segue into the thoughts I had this past weekend, and I should have brought up this statement.
00:12:45.480But there's evidence scientifically that proves that when your body is in a position of struggle and stress, your brain adjusts to be more malleable, and your ability to retain knowledge increases.
00:13:53.040And I don't mean to be overly negative, but this is one of my complaints in some religious settings or even superficial settings is we'll talk about things that we should do to improve.
00:14:17.980And we need to be courageous in our action.
00:14:22.200And part of it is because you're not going to learn in the hypothetical.
00:14:27.380You could prepare yourself reading books and everything else.
00:14:30.500But we talk about this on the podcast all the time.
00:14:33.060It's not until you start summoning the first ridge that you even know where the peak is anyway.
00:14:38.320And so we need to just get boots on ground, start taking action, experience struggle, stress, and learn and grow, and stop being so hypothetical about everything.
00:14:51.000And that was kind of my key takeaway over the weekend.
00:14:54.580It's just, man, we just need to be courageous and start acting.
00:14:58.520And the learning opportunities will be far greater in those circumstances than if we study a book and we really understand the book really, really well and then act.
00:15:13.900No, it reminded me of something, Kip, that I had made a post on on Instagram the other day, and it really resonated with a lot of people and bothered others, of course.
00:15:57.100And they let it fly over their head because they're so worried about, like, the one verbiage or one example I used when it's not really what I was saying.
00:16:06.000The point is that if you have the licensing, the credentialing, the degrees, the designations, but you aren't actually putting it into practice, that is meaningless.
00:16:18.560You know, and that's actually one of the things that I think, and I'm biased, of course, but we do so great in the Iron Council, is we're talking a lot about theory.
00:16:27.580We talk a lot about the 30,000-foot view, but then at the end of the day, you're paired with a group of 10 to 12 guys who are going to tell you first, ask, what are you going to do about that?
00:16:40.680And then they're actually going to follow up with you, and you have to face them and say, I either did it and here's what happened, or no, I didn't do it, and then they're going to get after you.
00:16:50.520And I think there's something to be said for a little bit of public shaming and guilt.
00:16:54.560And I know that's not popular in today's society, but if you're running with a group of people that you admire and respect and you let them down, that's guilt and shame.
00:17:03.060Used in a powerful and constructive way, it's a really, really effective method for improving performance.
00:17:09.940So that's one of the things that I think sets our group apart, is that we're actually doing work, not simply just talking about it.
00:17:16.780Well, and quite ironic, right, based upon your headline or this issue with possible supply chain issues, and the subject this month is also around our self-reliance and preparedness around circumstances.
00:17:32.540It's like, it goes back to your book, Sovereignty, right?
00:17:36.800Whenever we're dependent on the framework of something, we lack sovereignty to some extent, right?
00:17:44.900And those are potential areas of risk for us.
00:17:48.180So if your spirituality is dependent on whether you can show up to the chapel every Sunday, COVID probably exposed you.
00:17:54.820If your fitness and health is dependent on a gym membership and you don't have the discipline to pull it off in your basement, COVID probably exposed you.
00:18:05.580And, you know, these are all the areas, wonderful areas for all of us to sure up, focus on, and improve on, you know?
00:19:20.900He made remarks that could, if you just pick them apart or splice little elements of a speech out, it could say, go march on the Capitol.
00:19:31.520But he also did, and something that doesn't get reported a lot, I think he said, I don't want to quote it, but I want to say peacefully and maybe respectfully.
00:20:07.060I think it was rigged by the media, by the coverage, by the spin.
00:20:13.780I don't think it was blatantly like rigged.
00:20:16.240I'm sure there was some elements of that happening and cheating and some nefarious action taking place.
00:20:22.200But I think the largest part of that, and we're seeing this now in this election, is that it is rigged against Trump again, not in the formal sense.
00:20:32.980But if you look at the debate that he did with Kamala Harris, I mean, that's a rigged situation.
00:20:39.000He walked in where it was three on one, and he should have been smarter about that and more tactical about that.
00:20:44.180I think he could have done some things better during the debate, but that's a side issue.
00:21:03.260When Trump was president, we had a border that was shut down.
00:21:08.920We had less conflict happening throughout the world.
00:21:12.420We didn't see the same thing that we see in Ukraine and Russia and with Israel and all these other little skirmishes that we're starting to see in the Midwest.
00:21:20.060Or excuse me, Middle East, not Midwest.
00:22:14.200But when it comes down to it, his policy was good, and his policy is what made this country stronger and put us in a better economic position, not just here but on the world stage.
00:22:29.420That's why I vote for Trump, not because he's a moral person, not because he's a great human being.
00:22:51.440The other side is if you're not going to vote for Trump because he's not the person you think you want him to be, then tell me who you're going to vote for.
00:23:00.380Because really, at this stage, you're going to vote for Kamala Harris or Trump.
00:23:09.980So, like, if you're not voting for him because he's not the person you want him to be, then you need to have the moral fortitude to be able to tell me that are you saying that then you're going to vote for Kamala Harris?
00:23:27.920How, then, can a freedom-loving people vote for her when they see and they have clear evidence based on the last four years of what her administration, and I say her deliberately.
00:23:41.200It's probably her and Jill Biden's administration have done to this country over the past four years.
00:23:46.840And that's not something I'm willing to live with.
00:23:50.360I mean, I may be forced to, but it's not something I'm certainly going to advocate or vote for.
00:23:55.300So that's a little bit about my position.
00:24:07.580When I, and I hate to come across like I'm speaking for conservatives, but, but I would probably bet I'm, I'm justified in saying that a lot of people that lean in that direction of Trump, they're, they're making that vote also against the typical establishment of politicians.
00:26:15.820And the, the meme was split in half and it was Romney Obama debating above and like had them debate something like add a segment for, I don't know, 20 seconds.
00:26:26.060And then it moved to Biden and Trump and I'm just like, oh my gosh, like those guys were highly presidential.
00:26:52.140I mean, I hate that side of it, but that's a response to Romney, who is like the weakest presidential candidate we've had in a very, very long time.
00:27:03.660And the arrogance and division that Obama created, like it's just a product of that.
00:27:11.600And we are and have the representatives that we deserve.
00:28:28.920You know, so I'm reminded of the prodigal son when people say things like this.
00:28:35.140If you notice in that story, and you guys can go read the parable, but if you notice in that story, this man, wealthy landowner, had a son who went astray.
00:28:45.240And the landowner said, hey, you can come back anytime.
00:28:53.000And when his son did return, finally, he met him.
00:28:57.300He ran down and he met him and he embraced him.
00:28:59.740I think that's even the verbiage they use.
00:29:01.600Opened his arms and embraced him, something like that.
00:31:55.360You know, so we've been dating for a while and we have a really good relationship and, you know, it has things that come up now and again, but she's willing to work on them.
00:32:59.040Now, not everybody believes that, but that's what I believe.
00:33:01.640And I think most men who are in the situation of a failed marriage and considering dating again would probably agree with that.
00:33:09.140So that's the first thing, doing it for the right reason.
00:33:12.200The next thing is knowing what you want and what you don't want.
00:33:15.460You know, you really have an opportunity in a way to start your life over in this regard.
00:33:20.960And so there's some things that you messed up on.
00:33:23.060There's some things that maybe you would have done differently.
00:33:25.420Hopefully you would have done differently and you get to figure out what that is and then create a new life with a new person built on knowledge that you didn't previously have.
00:33:35.120So I think before you start dating, you should really start to think about and even maybe write down in a journal or something what exactly you're looking for.
00:33:42.280Like, what are you looking for in a woman?
00:33:58.700How are you going to show up when there's turmoil or strife or contention?
00:34:04.380What is it that you're going to do differently?
00:34:06.760And that's been one thing that I think I'm getting right in the relationship is just really trying to be more steadfast than I was in the past.
00:34:17.600And I think a lot of that came from – my emotional instability came from my drinking primarily, which is not something I have to be concerned with at this – that's not the right way to say it.
00:34:32.240I am still aware and concerned of it, but it's not something I'm dealing with, right, currently wrestling with.
00:34:37.520And so for me to be emotionally stable in a relationship is so much easier if she's coming to me with things that maybe in a previous relationship I would have been offended by or upset by or bothered with, then I would react negatively.
00:34:55.540And I don't really have those feelings anymore.
00:34:58.120And so if she needs to come to me with news that I don't particularly like or we have a difficult conversation, I don't feel bothered like I was before, which creates a really powerful environment for her to be able to be free to express herself.
00:35:16.220And also for me is that I'm not as volatile and my mood doesn't really depend as much on the current climate of our relationship in any given day or any given hour because it changes, obviously, when you have two stubborn people like we both are.
00:35:36.000Like it can be challenging, but that to me, learning how to be emotionally stable is the number one thing that more men can do.
00:35:47.020I think that would just lead to more marriages staying together, less turmoil, less strife, less contention, less volatility on your part, less damage between you and kids and everybody else.
00:35:59.680It's just – that's the number one thing is can you be emotionally stable?
00:36:03.740And if you can't because you're too emotional right now or because there's other problems you haven't addressed, then therapy, working through those issues, learning about what you might be dealing with, insecurities first before you start getting into dating because you're just going to take that baggage into the next relationship if you don't deal with it.
00:36:24.100I remember one of the key things that I prioritized when I started dating was the individual I'd end up with having a growth mindset.
00:36:35.040Like that was so critical to me because I felt like if they are too rigid and they are kind of fixed in their way of thinking, then they wouldn't grow.
00:36:45.440And I couldn't grow and we couldn't work through stuff because there was no evaluation of oneself at all.
00:36:55.000And so that was really critical for me is to identify that in someone that I was dating that they had a growth mindset that they were willing to evaluate and they're self-aware and wanted to improve as an individual constantly.
00:37:08.180Um, that was, um, that was, that was super critical.
00:37:11.720The other thing that I would just, you know, and you've, you've mentioned it briefly, but I just want to double down on it is learn the lesson that is to be learned from the divorce, right?
00:37:25.440Far too often guys make this mistake, right?
00:38:30.320One of the greatest ways to live a life of no regret is to learn from our mistakes so much that you can't help, but be grateful that that thing happened to you because you wouldn't be the man you are today without it.
00:39:35.020But yeah, I mean, you're, you're not wrong, but I really want to flesh that out just for a second because I know a lot of guys wrestle with that.
00:40:11.140You can be grateful for the life that you currently have and how you've improved and be a little regretful as long as it's not hindering you, a little sad or, you know, just acknowledging that was a failure on your part.
00:40:24.020And I think that's a healthy way to look at it is not be one or the other.
00:40:27.800Just realize we're humans, we're complex, and we can be all the things at once.