Order of Man - February 03, 2021


Voluntary Discomfort, Balancing Ego and Humility, and Jeopardizing Your Morals ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING


Episode Stats

Length

49 minutes

Words per Minute

185.48172

Word Count

9,259

Sentence Count

871

Misogynist Sentences

19

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:25.420 Kip, what's up man? It's good to see you. I know we've not been able to connect for the last couple of weeks,
00:00:29.820 but it is good to see you, my friend. Your hair's a little longer. Your beard's a little longer.
00:00:34.440 A little bit of comb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How's everything? How's your boy doing after his,
00:00:39.920 what was it, six weeks or something of hiking around in the woods?
00:00:44.500 Seven weeks in the wilderness. Yeah. Let's just say we picked him up and I wasn't sure if it was
00:00:50.120 a homeless guy walking towards me. I think I saw a picture. He had a beard and his hair was super long.
00:00:55.840 Totally. Like, have you, have you washed your body at all or did anything cosmetic? Like
00:01:02.660 over the last seven weeks, he looked pretty rough. It was nice though. And he still smells like smoke
00:01:08.020 after, after probably 10 showers, you still hug him and you're like, it's no, it's still smell like,
00:01:14.320 uh, so smoke. Yeah. The real question I have is, does he like you or does he hate you? That's the
00:01:21.480 real question. Yeah. Or both. Maybe it's both. He loves all things, including his bed. Yes. I bet.
00:01:29.580 No, he's, he's in a really good place. Yeah. So it was good for him. Yeah. Yeah. And he would say
00:01:35.640 the same thing. Yeah. He would say the same thing. And interesting enough, he even like walked away
00:01:42.600 from that experience kind of spiritually enlightened, which I didn't, which makes sense, but I didn't think
00:01:49.220 about that being a thing for a, for a 16 year old, you know, Oh, is he only, I thought he was older,
00:01:55.100 but yeah. Yeah. 16. Wow. Yeah. So he came back like with a new kind of spiritual awakening is at the
00:02:02.240 same time. So I'm, I'm excited for him. And we now have a before he, and by the way, this is a kid
00:02:08.480 that hated backpacking. I would, I'd be like, Hey, let's go camp. And he was like, nah, you'd always
00:02:14.100 constantly like, nah, I don't want to go backpack and it's lame. Now he's like, yeah, let's go
00:02:19.400 backpacking with nothing. That sounds like a fun idea, you know? So, well, he's just so equipped
00:02:26.000 to be able to deal with that. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's awesome, man. At one point. Yeah, man, there's
00:02:32.220 so much stuff. I'm like, even stuff that he's taught me. I was like, man, I didn't even know
00:02:37.020 this. I'm just excited. It's, it's super cool. Just these boys more or less took care of themselves,
00:02:42.880 you know, more or less, they have food that, that they have packed food for the week and it's like
00:02:48.960 flour and like baking soda and rice. So if you want to eat it, guess what you got to do? You got to
00:02:55.900 make a fire. And if you want to make a fire, well, then you better learn how to, how to bust a coal
00:03:01.260 with wood. Otherwise you're not going to eat or anything like that. Nope. Nope. So what were
00:03:08.920 they using? A bow drill or what? Yeah. Bow drill only with yucca. Yeah. So, so the first couple of
00:03:15.040 days it's like mad scramble to figure out how to make a fire. So that way you can cook your food.
00:03:20.260 I've been watching these, like these alone shows and things like that. And I, and I'm yelling at the
00:03:25.040 TV, like do this, do that. Like I know anything about it, but I just think, man, once you get a fire
00:03:30.400 started, don't let it go out. That's the biggest thing you can do. Just don't let the dang thing
00:03:34.920 go out. If you have to, yeah. Keep the good coal going. Yeah. Yeah. Holy cow, man. That's cool.
00:03:41.840 I'm glad it went well for him. So he's 16. So what is he a junior now? Or he will be, he is a junior.
00:03:47.340 He turned 17 in the next month. So he's, he's almost 17, but yeah. Yeah. What a cool life experience,
00:03:54.540 man. I think that's going to serve him pretty well as he moves into graduating and going out on his own
00:04:00.000 and doing his own thing. You know, these, these ideas and these experiences of hardship teach us
00:04:06.680 that we're capable of so much more than we thought we were. We live in these, man, life is easy.
00:04:13.800 It's so easy. I made a post on Instagram this morning about how much I love the main winter.
00:04:19.160 And the only reason I can say that is because I'm alive in 2021, not 1921.
00:04:24.560 Totally. You know, because if it was 1921, I'd be freezing my balls off and I'd be neck deep and
00:04:32.880 in a bunch of snow and I'd be chopping wood and you'd probably have a kid that's already died,
00:04:38.540 you know, multiple weather. Yeah. I would have had, you know, 20 children by now, 10 of them would
00:04:43.880 have died. It's, it's such, we live in just amazingly easy times. And so anytime you can put
00:04:52.220 yourself under voluntary hardship, that isn't necessarily dangerous, but just challenging and
00:04:59.480 rough. It just makes you a better person. Well, and what's interesting is you said we live in
00:05:04.340 amazing times. And then, and then before that you mentioned like confidence and it's interesting how
00:05:10.260 the, the easy times they don't set us up to have confidence, right? It's like my easy times are
00:05:18.860 possible due to everything around me. I don't have to do anything. Right. But, but it also makes me a
00:05:24.740 victim of it all. And, and those things change and all of a sudden my heater doesn't work in my house
00:05:30.600 or I don't have a match or any of these other scenarios. All of a sudden it's like, I, you realize
00:05:37.000 our dependency on the system. Right. And not the system as the government, although that's a whole
00:05:42.660 other conversation, but on our social constructs, I mean, we're so dependent on those things. And,
00:05:47.960 and, and I think that's really what these boys get is like, you know, I took care of myself.
00:05:53.140 Right. You know, and that's, that's a huge, most people can't do that, let alone say that.
00:05:57.740 And, and that, that says a lot. I think at least certainly in the space of masculinity,
00:06:02.580 right. To be able to say, you can do that for yourself.
00:06:05.080 I think so. Somebody asked me the other day about when something like, when did you feel most
00:06:10.580 confident in your life? And I remember when I came back from basic training, I have, I had never
00:06:16.160 been more confident in my life than that because I had just went through four, four and a half months of
00:06:22.300 hell, you know, and, and it painted a different perspective of every other thing that I had to
00:06:30.520 deal with. And I remember even coming back from Iraq. I remember people complaining about the
00:06:35.920 most trivial of, of just BS and nonsense. And I thought to myself, that's what you're complaining
00:06:42.080 about. And now that's what I'm complaining about because that was, holy cow, that was 2005. So that
00:06:51.020 was 15 years ago. Holy cow. That's crazy. Um, you know, and so I've, I've just like we all do,
00:06:59.780 we've conformed to this life of, of ease and comfort and heaven forbid we, this is actually one of the
00:07:06.900 things that I tell people a lot about the, the issues that people get upset about, especially in like
00:07:13.700 the Twitter verse where we don't have anything real to complain and, and, and like work against.
00:07:22.300 So we make up dumb shit to be worried about like the 27 different genders or whatever. Like if we
00:07:28.940 were, if again, if we go back to 1921, nobody was worried about what gender you are because you were
00:07:35.060 too busy chopping wood for the winter. Yeah. You, you actually had real things to worry about. And so we've
00:07:41.460 created this life of ease where, because we don't have anything to worry about, we worry about dumb
00:07:47.480 shit that actually has no relevance or bearing in our lives. It's pretty pathetic. And I think it'll
00:07:54.080 ultimately be our downfall unless, unless we put ourselves under voluntary strain. We have to do that
00:08:03.720 because that's what makes us tough. That's what's hardens us. That's what teaches us resilience.
00:08:09.860 That's what builds confidence, which gives us the capabilities and skill sets that we need to
00:08:14.720 thrive in any set of circumstances, whether it's a life of ease, like we have now, or look, I think
00:08:22.280 about the great depression, none of us has ever, except for those who were live, you know, during the
00:08:29.920 great depression, none of us has ever experienced anything like that, but what's to, what's to keep
00:08:36.340 that from happening in the next two weeks? I could very easily, like we've very easily be in that
00:08:43.640 sort of circumstance, especially with these, uh, the, the game stop and all the different stocks
00:08:49.380 that are going on right now. And which you've been offline for a little bit, but game stop and the
00:08:55.160 reddit boys, like manipulating the markets, that's going to change things. And there's nothing that would
00:09:00.940 keep, there's even talks of Iran getting nuclear weapons at this point. And, uh, some U S general
00:09:06.240 just came out and said that a nuclear war with, uh, China or Russia is a very real possibility.
00:09:12.360 Yeah. Well, in America, we don't even, where's our money. We're borrowing. Like there's no tomorrow.
00:09:18.340 Right. Right. What, what, what happens when the debtor says, Hey, I want, I want my payments
00:09:24.100 and full. Yeah. Like we're, we're not sovereign country. You know, we're, I mean, we used to be
00:09:31.100 able to say, we used to be able to say, well, F off. Cause you're not getting your money. You
00:09:34.960 want to fight about it, bring it on. But we're even having a hard time. I just talked with Tim
00:09:39.460 Kennedy the last week and a half or so. And we were even having a hard time enlisting men and women
00:09:43.620 into the military because not because they don't want to necessarily, they're not qualified, man.
00:09:49.840 When I was 17, when I went through, I think it was called ASVAP, I think is the test you
00:09:54.760 have to take to get into the military. Uh, and then you have to go through maps, which
00:09:58.680 is like military entrance processing station or something like that. There's all sorts of
00:10:02.800 acronyms, obviously in the military, you had to do like 10, 10 pushups. It's like what young
00:10:09.820 man can't do 10 pushups a lot. Apparently it's pathetic. Like we're raising a generation of
00:10:17.180 just weaklings and pathetic wimps and cowards. And yeah, I think at some point we're going to
00:10:23.920 have a very rude awakening unless we get out ahead of it. This is actually one thing a lot of guys
00:10:29.260 ask me about is like, when did you reach rock bottom? And you know, I talk with a lot of men
00:10:33.740 about, it's usually a point for men. Like for me, it was when my wife decided to leave and we went
00:10:41.120 through our separation or guys will talk about their divorces or their bankruptcies or their business
00:10:46.560 going under a medical condition or illness they've been dealing with. And that, that was rock bottom
00:10:51.200 for them. And so it's unfortunate, but I think a lot of the times we reach these low points in our
00:10:57.520 lives due to external circumstances that frankly, a lot of the times are because of what we've created
00:11:03.280 for ourselves. Um, but you don't have to wait until you're at your low to improve. You don't have
00:11:12.360 to wait until a natural disaster or an emergency or an external threat or a looming divorce or a
00:11:18.780 potential bankruptcy to get your shit in line. You just need to be a little bit more aware and realize
00:11:24.680 that you're not as invincible as you might believe that you are right now because you're king shit
00:11:28.800 sitting at the top of your industry or career or whatever it may be. That ego is going to get in
00:11:34.560 your way. And I don't, I don't care whether you look at it as God or the universe or however you
00:11:39.740 decide to look at it, you will be humbled. You can bring it upon yourself or you can ask for it to
00:11:46.680 be brought upon you. And I promise you it's better if you bring it upon yourself. Yeah. You know,
00:11:53.000 one thing that you said earlier that I think is pretty profound, if you don't mind me reiterating
00:11:57.600 it is, and it's a quote that I heard, um, years back, but it was like, everyone has problems.
00:12:03.760 The key is to choose yours. And, and I think that's the, that's the identifier, right? When we
00:12:09.720 don't choose a problem to go after, to make it our problem, right? Which really is purpose and
00:12:16.580 fulfillment and something greater than yourself. If you don't go after that, you end up with
00:12:21.040 problems. But the problem is, um, blaming your boss and, oh, my life's going to fall apart. If
00:12:27.820 Biden gets elected or if Trump gets her, like your problem, there are all these superficial items.
00:12:32.380 Everyone has problems. The key is, did you choose it? Or are you a victim of them? And, and it's amazing
00:12:39.240 that when we choose something greater than ourselves, all those minute things, like you were
00:12:43.820 saying, aren't problems anymore, right? Because you, you created perspective. And, and so, you
00:12:50.860 know, if you, if like anyone listening, it's like, oh man, I, I feel like I'm drudging through drama
00:12:56.520 in my life. It's because you're not about something. Hmm. Pick a bigger problem. That's the tall
00:13:03.240 tail sign. If you have drama in your life and it's family and all work is, whoa, it's means
00:13:08.360 that you're not about anything. Choose something bigger than yourself and actually tackle that
00:13:14.280 problem. Make it your problem. I've never heard you say that. Be about, you're not about something.
00:13:19.880 What a cool thought. It sounds a little mean. I'm not as mean as you. That's like, yeah,
00:13:23.620 you're, you're the nice guy. You're the good cop. I'm the bad cop. I'm a dick. Yeah.
00:13:28.020 Yeah. It, but it sounds like you're going to call me the nice guy. I was like, well, you know,
00:13:32.660 maybe. Yeah. It sounds like, no, it sounds like something I would say. Maybe that's why I like it.
00:13:38.840 No, it's a, I like how you just took credit for something good. I said,
00:13:42.200 yeah, that sounded just like me. You probably learned that from me at some point. And you just
00:13:47.660 like change the verbiage a little bit to make it sound cool. Totally. No, I think that's right.
00:13:53.680 What are you about? That's a very interesting thought. What are you about? You got to
00:13:57.940 be about something. I got to, I got to think on that a little bit because that,
00:14:02.440 that is a very interesting, it's a very interesting, you know, the other thing I
00:14:06.740 thought about too, when you were talking about problems is you talked about changing
00:14:13.120 your problems versus, or choosing your problems is what you said. One of the things
00:14:18.200 that I've talked a lot about is, is elevating your problems. So there was a point in my
00:14:23.580 life where I was worried about making the mortgage payment.
00:14:27.940 You know, and I've told guys this, I would literally like quite literally, no joke,
00:14:32.860 wear a dirt track in my grass in the backyard. Cause I'd be walking around the backyard pacing,
00:14:38.560 thinking about how I was going to make the car payment, the mortgage payment, put food on the
00:14:42.600 table. You know, we've been blessed in a way that fortunately I'm trying to be as humble as
00:14:47.260 possible here. Of course, cause I think it's important to be humble. That's not a concern of mine.
00:14:52.380 Yeah. Like making the mortgage payment isn't something I'm concerned with at this point,
00:14:57.300 which is a blessing and a benefit, but also because I've spent so much time not thinking
00:15:02.900 about making the mortgage payment, but thinking about better problems. Like how am I going to
00:15:07.200 serve more people? How am I going to help my clients? How am I going to serve more men? What
00:15:13.080 features and benefits and programs can I offer that would add more value to people's lives?
00:15:18.340 And because I'm thinking about these types of problems, as opposed to like, how am I going
00:15:22.780 to make the mortgage payment? The down problems of the bigger problem tend to work themselves
00:15:29.220 out. It's like that trickle down economy thing, you know, like you worry about this up here.
00:15:33.960 And that just gets, and all of that just trickles down and gets taken care of because you're
00:15:38.140 elevating your problems up to here and not being in the trenches, worrying about things that
00:15:42.300 are just kind of minuscule in the grand scheme of things.
00:15:46.620 Yeah. Which, and if you think about when you're, when you're worried about the mortgage
00:15:51.960 pacing in the backyard, and by the way, I've been there, like we both have, man, I mean,
00:15:57.680 some of the most stressful times of my life, right. We're during those phases, but, um,
00:16:03.680 you're not innovating, right? You're not thinking about providing a better service. You're, you're not
00:16:10.460 thinking about how do I serve and do a better job at my job. You're not even focused on that.
00:16:15.400 Right. Which is the very thing that you need to be focused on to be able to get that mortgage paid.
00:16:21.460 Well, you're right. You're absolutely right. Another thing though, is that if you're worried
00:16:28.260 about that, you're going to jeopardize your morals and principles.
00:16:31.280 Yeah. That's a good point. Cause that's the focus because look, Hey, if I got to make my mortgage
00:16:37.140 payment, I'm going to lie, chill, cheat, steal, beg, do whatever I can and jeopardize my own personal
00:16:42.960 morals and principles in order to make the mortgage payment, because the mortgage payment in and of
00:16:47.700 itself is the biggest challenge I've presented myself with. Yeah. So the, the, the, the ends justify
00:16:55.680 the means, which I don't operate like that. I think the means are more important and the ends
00:17:02.060 will just take care of themselves if the means are pure. So there's a lot of reasons why if you
00:17:07.760 start elevating your problems, it's hard to see because you're like, Ryan, I can't think about
00:17:12.480 that because my payment, my, my rent's due tomorrow. So it's very hard to think about it on that
00:17:18.340 perspective. But once you start doing that, even if you just take a half a step back and evaluate
00:17:24.800 what you're doing, why you're doing it, how you're showing up in life, these things begin to work
00:17:30.420 themselves out. You know, I was presented with an opportunity today. It was crazy, Kip. It was crazy,
00:17:36.260 man. I had a phone call with an individual and we're working on some contracts and some things we're
00:17:41.180 doing. I got offered a payment of what I used to make in two years, in two years of busting my
00:17:54.460 balls. And I got offered to make this much money in a period of, you know, several weeks.
00:18:01.360 That's what I'm saying, man. Like, I don't say that to brag. I say, this is the power of elevating
00:18:06.960 your problems, making them meaningful, making them significant. And then knowing that if they're
00:18:12.100 up here, all the other stuff's going to take care of it. It will, it will get taken care of. It has
00:18:16.260 to, it has to get taken care of in order for you to be up here. Yeah. All right. Look, I know we're
00:18:21.680 short on time today. We got 20 more minutes. Let's just do this today, Kip. Let's do a rapid fire Q&A
00:18:29.500 session. We'll crank through as many questions as we possibly can. And this is going to be short,
00:18:34.980 in your face, punchy, rapid fire. Let's do it. All right. Sounds good. All right. Dakota
00:18:42.200 goaltending. I listened to the podcast with Evan and it was really great. Can you discuss the steps
00:18:48.400 to making the move? What were the difficulties and what advice do you have for navigating a similar
00:18:53.700 move? How has it affected your kids? Any negatives? So he's, he's talking about the move to Maine.
00:19:00.400 Um, again, we're, I'm trying to do this rapid fire. So I want to do the question justice, but
00:19:05.760 also be rapid fire. Several years ago, I had the opportunity to come visit Pete Roberts with origin
00:19:12.780 and his team. Um, we were working together, doing some podcast advertising and things like that. And
00:19:18.020 we had a connection, came out here for a week long jujitsu camp. You were there, Kip. Matthew
00:19:23.320 Arrington was there. We had a good, a good visit. It was awesome. And I fell in love with it. Um,
00:19:28.980 long story short, my wife and I came back, Pete invited us back. We came back out about this time
00:19:33.960 two years ago. And we found a place that we loved a beautiful home. We put an offer in on it.
00:19:42.000 Long story short, the offer went through. We spent six months getting the finances and the offer and
00:19:47.060 everything arranged. And then we moved out here. My wife and I had always, not always, but over the
00:19:53.860 previous several years talked about, you know, potentially exploring and trying new things
00:19:59.540 and going on adventures and seeing what life had to offer outside of our small home and town in
00:20:05.100 Southern Utah. I don't know if we'll be here for the next two years, the next 20 years. Um, my kids
00:20:11.320 have had an adjustment. They miss their friends. Of course they miss their old way of life, but we're
00:20:15.140 very involved. We're very active with them. They have friends here. They have engagements and
00:20:19.600 activities and things that they're, they're part of. Um, and it's been overwhelmingly positive.
00:20:26.960 My daughter would love nothing more than to move home. Frankly, she wants to be home. She wants to
00:20:31.600 be with her friends, her one particular friend that she just loves. They're like two little peas in a pod.
00:20:37.280 And I feel bad, you know, that she can't be with that friend, but also I see the value in
00:20:44.200 learning and growing and spending time together and being part of the family. And we've drawn so
00:20:49.240 much closer together and we've been on this adventure and we've tried new things and we've
00:20:53.360 expanded and gotten better and just gotten a new perspective that I don't think we would have ever
00:20:58.680 gotten in any other context. So overall, even though there's little pinpoints of pain, overall,
00:21:05.080 it's been a very positive, beneficial thing for the entire family. And, you know, like I said,
00:21:10.620 maybe in two years, we'll move back. I envision at some point, we'll probably move back to Utah.
00:21:16.120 I don't think my wife and I were talking several weeks ago about this. We probably won't ever sell
00:21:20.580 this property. This will become our second home or our summer home. And we'll come up here and we'll
00:21:25.940 spend the summer here and go to the lakes and visit friends that we've made. And this is a special
00:21:31.320 place for us for sure. Paul's pipes. And I'm trying to find the question in this, but I'll read it
00:21:38.600 anyway and then maybe you can find it. So anything harsh or abrasive as a strong winter seems like
00:21:43.900 a catalyst for a growth. It should make us sharper in all areas. I bought a plow for my truck and I
00:21:49.520 used the plow for my neighbor's driveway too. Yeah. Yeah. So the post that I made and the reason
00:21:55.060 he's bringing this up is I said, you know, there's just something special to me about Maine winters.
00:21:59.360 We're going through what I would say is our first real storm here in Maine this weekend or this week
00:22:05.180 rather. And I love winter here. It's cold and it's brutal and it's miserable and the wind's kicking
00:22:12.200 up. And even today you can see I'm bundled up. Like I'm cold. You know, it gets cold even in the
00:22:18.020 house. We're on an old radiator system, but I love it. People are friendly and they're helping each
00:22:22.880 other out. And you give a wave to the person who's plowing their driveway or you help a neighbor plow his
00:22:28.920 driveway. Just today, in fact, as I was plowing my driveway, my neighbor across the street was with his
00:22:34.380 old snowblower and you know, he could get it done, but he was literally covered from head to toe in
00:22:39.740 snow. And I just pulled out and I said, Hey, let me just scrape this for you. He's like, man, that
00:22:43.440 would be awesome. And I scraped it with my plow. My truck plow took me, I don't know, two minutes.
00:22:48.960 It would have taken him an hour or two. Yeah. And he's like, thank you so much. I'm like, no problem.
00:22:55.880 And then I turned down the road and we live on a four-way intersection and there was this guy and his
00:23:00.580 truck was broken down and he had his old, you know, rechargeable battery pack or whatever. He's trying
00:23:06.900 to jump his truck. And I said, Hey man, like, can I give you a jump? He's like, no, I just got it.
00:23:10.960 Thanks though. Appreciate it. And I think there's value. Again, this goes back to our earlier
00:23:15.620 conversation about struggle. We don't have any hardship. And when you see people here in, in New
00:23:22.480 England winters who are struggling and they're cold and they're chopping wood, there's a phrase out
00:23:27.080 here that says you're either preparing for, or dealing with winter. And when we're all miserable,
00:23:34.840 we band together and the bullshit that we fight about becomes less relevant because it just doesn't
00:23:41.460 matter because I'm just trying to stay warm or I'm just trying to plow my driveway or I'm trying to
00:23:46.760 get to work and the roads are miserable or dangerous. It's different. I like it. And so he's right.
00:23:53.520 Love it. Tom bearded. I enjoy winter snow coldest cold as well. Not that Oklahoma has a true. Okay.
00:24:01.380 I should have skipped that one. All right. Jake 92 0 96. How do I help my wife find things she is
00:24:08.820 interested in? I have a few hobbies and I find myself doing them less out of guilt. I've tried just
00:24:14.340 asking her what she even thinks that might be cool or interesting, but nothing. She likes, she likes
00:24:19.780 Netflix and sleep and work. She does suffer from anxiety and depression and is on meds, but I know
00:24:26.780 there's got to be a way to help her. I know my wife, but when it comes to finding something she can do
00:24:31.640 for herself, I'm at loss for her. Thank you all. Order man has changed my life. Cool. It's good to know
00:24:37.620 that. I know this is tough when you have somebody who has maybe potentially mental illness. I don't want
00:24:43.200 to paint that as a broad stroke though and say that she's mentally ill. That's not what I'm saying, but
00:24:47.680 it sounds like she's dealing with some depression and some things that make it, I think, harder.
00:24:53.580 Yeah. I mean, maybe she likes Netflix and sleeping and things like that, but come on, come on now.
00:25:00.160 There's something that lights her up, right? There's something, it's gotta be something.
00:25:05.640 Yeah. Even if it's a show on Netflix and she really likes, you know, the cooking channel on
00:25:09.800 Netflix or whatever it is. Okay. How many times there's something that lights us up. We don't do it
00:25:14.260 because we don't have the confidence in ourselves to try it. Yeah. Or we're afraid.
00:25:18.840 Yeah. And so, so you're right. And so what I hear a lot of guys will do. So here's, here's a funny
00:25:24.100 example is the, they'll say, well, how can I help? Well, I asked my wife how I can help all the time.
00:25:31.120 Like now look, I know when I asked my wife, Hey hon, how could I help? Okay. Really? What I'm asking
00:25:36.920 is do I need to help? No, no, no. I'm not even that. Not even that. That's even, that's even
00:25:44.560 better than what I'm, what's going through my mind. My through my mind is like, I just want it to appear
00:25:50.840 as I'm being helpful, but I don't want to help at all. Cause if you truly wanted to help, what would
00:25:57.320 you do? You would identify a problem and then you would start working on that problem. You wouldn't
00:26:05.700 need any direction. You would just do it. So the same thing applies here. My wife's not
00:26:12.500 interested in anything. Is that the case? Or are you just being lazy? Because she's probably
00:26:20.120 interested in something and you just either haven't noticed it or you aren't willing to
00:26:25.860 put forth the effort to foster it. It just needs to be a little spark. She likes the cooking
00:26:31.600 channel on Netflix. Buy her a cooking book. Hey, say Helen, you know what? I was thinking
00:26:36.980 tonight, instead of watching Netflix, I was thinking, cause I know you really liked that
00:26:40.860 cooking challenge show. I don't even know what show it is. I was thinking I bought this cookbook
00:26:47.620 for us and I was thinking it'd be really cool to make dinner together. That's it. Like that's
00:26:56.300 literally it. Yeah. Or Hey hon, you know, um, you really, you've talked a couple of times
00:27:03.300 about, uh, wanting to, you know, improve your fitness and get better. And so listen to my
00:27:10.500 verbiage here, guys, this is going to save you. Listen to my verbiage, please. So I bought
00:27:17.740 us, not you listen to what I'm saying. Cause I'm going to save your life right here, hon.
00:27:27.840 I know you've been talking about wanting to get back into fitness. So I bought us, let
00:27:34.340 me reiterate us, a yoga mat and a yoga block. And I thought we could do this together. Please
00:27:42.680 heed my warning right there. Gentlemen, not, I bought you a yoga mat and a yoga block. I
00:27:48.860 bought us a yoga mat and a yoga block. And I bought the subscription to, uh, Dean Pullman's,
00:27:56.420 uh, yoga app or whatever it is. Cause he's the guy that's been on the podcast. Not like
00:28:01.200 what he has to share. Okay. That's how you do it. Listen, observe, be present. There's
00:28:11.320 something guys, or you know what? Maybe when you married her 20 years ago, she was really
00:28:17.320 into something and she stopped doing it because she got married and started popping out kids
00:28:22.320 or got inundated with her career or any number of things that she just kind of let that go
00:28:27.640 by the wayside and she doesn't talk about it anymore. Guys be thoughtful. All right. If
00:28:34.620 you care about her, you're going to think, and you're going to explore, and you're going
00:28:38.300 to ponder and you're going to think about what it is she's into or what she was into
00:28:42.500 that she no longer says anything about. Why doesn't she say anything about it anymore?
00:28:46.640 Maybe she feels guilty. She probably does. She probably loved to go back to knitting or
00:28:52.300 painting or exercising or spending time with her girl. She would love to do that, but she
00:28:57.640 won't say it because this is my wife, because she prides herself on being the best mother
00:29:05.680 and wife in all of the other roles that she has that she doesn't think it's good to explore
00:29:12.260 these other things. She doesn't want to be selfish. So you have to instigate it. And it
00:29:19.040 takes some thoughtfulness, but come on, like, don't say your wife is only in the Netflix and sleeping.
00:29:24.740 She's into more. And you are the man of the house. And so you need to identify what it is.
00:29:32.980 Well, and I'll give one to guys that probably 70% of their wives would be on board and you sign up
00:29:39.440 for dance classes and you go dancing with her. That's too much, Kip. That's too much. That's too far.
00:29:47.760 It's true though. It's true, but it's just too far. Like all about it.
00:29:51.560 Yeah. But, but the answer is like, no, I'm not doing that. Yeah. You know, I love her, but you
00:29:59.400 know, let's stick with Netflix. We'll watch dancing with stars instead. I don't mind that you're into
00:30:04.060 Netflix and sleeping. Go ahead, hon. Keep doing that. Keep doing that. You're right. You're totally
00:30:10.600 right. And that's a really good point. Sometimes it's like, yeah, I know what she would be into,
00:30:16.940 but like, that would be too hard on me. And I don't want to do that. So it's a very selfish
00:30:22.720 thing. You know, maybe, you know, you talk with your, like, Oh, my wife's only into Netflix.
00:30:27.740 Hmm. Is it that she's only in a Netflix? You're in the net or is it that you're in a Netflix and
00:30:34.280 she's like, whatever we could do that. Cause I know if I told my wife, Hey hon, we're going to go
00:30:39.600 out dancing tonight. She'd be like, game on. Yeah. Or if I said, Hey hon, you know, that number
00:30:46.940 any day. And my wife would be like, all right. Yeah. Or if I said, Hey hon, um, uh, I actually,
00:30:54.040 I'm going to drop the kids off at a friend's house tonight at five and it's just going to be you and me.
00:30:58.760 And I figured we could, we could cook together. We could bake together. We could, I don't know,
00:31:05.000 go to a training session. Like what? I don't know, whatever. Yeah. She would be all about it.
00:31:10.700 She'd be all about it. And I know that's not just my wife. That's your wife. That's millions of guys
00:31:15.680 who are listening. That's their wives as well. Well, and here's the key though. And back to what
00:31:19.460 you're alluding to is if you went to your wife and said, Hey honey, you know, I was thinking maybe
00:31:23.980 we should try something to get, what do you think? That's different. Cause then she's going to run her
00:31:29.120 story of like, Oh, well, no, I got to do my things. And then it doesn't happen. Right. But you go on,
00:31:34.500 Hey honey, I got a babysitter and this is what we're doing. She'd be like, that's awesome.
00:31:40.960 Right. That's the difference of initiative versus just, you know, back to your analogy of, you know,
00:31:44.940 what can I do to help? You know, question versus just doing it. Exactly. All right. We got five or
00:31:51.120 10 minutes. Let's drive on now. Now we're all held accountable. We're super rapid fire before now.
00:31:57.120 We're super rapid fire. Oh yeah. That, that last question wasn't that rapid fire by the way.
00:32:02.820 No, it wasn't. Okay. Um, so we're, we're jump, uh, your thoughts, uh, Ben, Oh, it's, uh, whatever
00:32:11.060 coach thoughts on. Are you speaking English right now? I don't even know if you're speaking English
00:32:15.180 right now. These are, these are Instagram names. I don't even know. Like, yeah. All right. You know,
00:32:21.240 your thoughts on cryptocurrency and Bitcoin. Look, I'm going to bring some experts on. Um,
00:32:26.480 I've got somebody working on getting us some experts for that. I've, I own some crypto. Uh,
00:32:32.240 I, I think there's some tremendous value in it. I think it should represent probably a portion of
00:32:37.020 your portfolio because we want to be broadly diversified. I think it's becoming much more
00:32:41.740 viable, especially with these Reddit boys and how they've manipulated the markets. And that's only
00:32:47.740 going to create more financial regulation. So I love deregulated markets and crypto is one of those
00:32:54.580 deregulated markets at this point. We probably will see some regulation on those things. Uh,
00:33:00.120 and at some point we're just going to go to bartering and trading and back alleys at some point,
00:33:04.180 I'm sure. But in the meantime, yeah. In the meantime, I own crypto and, uh, I think it's a
00:33:12.180 viable option for a portion of your portfolio, but we're going to be working on getting some experts in
00:33:19.300 who could share more than I ever could. Awesome. Stay tuned. All right. Nydra Hiret.
00:33:25.100 How did you land on order of man? Were there any runner up names that you had,
00:33:29.300 how do you choose from? By the way, I do love order of man. Just curious.
00:33:32.800 Yeah. It took me months, literally months. And I tried different names. I can't even remember the
00:33:38.300 names, but I tried to be fun to see those at one point, different, different strategies. I reached
00:33:43.400 out to a handful of organizations that owned websites that I really liked, but they weren't
00:33:47.460 utilizing them. So I said, Hey, can I buy this from you? And nothing worked. But the reason I liked
00:33:52.620 order of man is because order is a bit of a dual meaning for me order as in we bring order and structure
00:33:59.520 to who we are as men. That's how I operate best. And then that's how a lot of the men who listen
00:34:04.080 operate. Uh, but then also order is synonymous with organization, fraternity brotherhood. And
00:34:11.100 that's really what I wanted to create out of this. So not only was the meaning there, but also the
00:34:16.920 website, all the social media handles and profiles were available. So I scooped them all up because as,
00:34:23.120 as a marketer and I am a marketer naming and having the same names and having a uniform across
00:34:31.100 different platforms is very important to me. So order of man was born. We trademarked it. We
00:34:36.060 trademarked, uh, actually I think copyright is the better term. So we copyrighted it and trademarked the
00:34:42.060 logos and that, and that, um, and we were off to the races, but it took me, it took me months. And I
00:34:49.860 had, I had lists, lists and lists and lists of names that I could choose from. And I was checking
00:34:54.660 them off the list. I like this. I don't like this. I like that. So here's, yeah, it's a tough world
00:34:59.460 nowadays because like you want that right domain with that name. So you might come up with a great
00:35:03.920 name, but the domain's not available. And you're like, exactly. Damn it. So, all right. Naguera,
00:35:09.300 Jan, whatever. How do you second guess? How do you not second guess your decisions? How do you
00:35:15.240 second guess your decisions? You should. Why wouldn't you? That doesn't mean you don't pick
00:35:21.000 one. You just pick one and then you act on it and then you evaluate it. And if it's still working,
00:35:27.840 you keep going. But if you, if it's not working, then you evaluate why it's not working and consider
00:35:32.880 making changes. But why shouldn't you second guess? There's still a level of commitment to the
00:35:38.660 decision. Of course. Like, because I think that's where people go wrong, right? It's like they make a
00:35:43.480 decision, but they're half-hearted committed to it. Right. And that's not a good mentality. So
00:35:48.480 just pick the decision. Look, here's the deal. You're going to make decisions. Kip, you and I
00:35:54.600 have talked about this. We're on the mountain. We're looking at the crest that we want to get
00:35:57.540 to and we start walking. And then we realize that's actually not where we want to go, but we
00:36:00.860 didn't get, we weren't privy to that information until we started walking. So you just make the best
00:36:06.660 decision that you possibly can and have a system for evaluation and then evaluate it and decide,
00:36:14.620 okay, yeah, no, we're still good. Or no, we've got to pivot and we've got to adjust and we've got to
00:36:18.620 change. But none of that absolves us of the obligation of a hundred percent commitment to
00:36:24.760 our course of action. So you make a decision, you commit 100% for now, that might be a week or a year
00:36:32.640 or 10 years and you just evaluate it. I don't know. In five years, I might not be doing order
00:36:37.520 of man. I don't know, but I'm open to something different. But you're committed to order man until
00:36:42.140 then. I'm a hundred percent in until that situation, that day arrives. Yeah. Copy. We up on time.
00:36:49.940 Yeah. Keep going. Let's go. All right. One more. Uh, bow hunter. What hunts will you and your son
00:36:54.420 apply for and go on this year? Uh, what is your dream hunt rifle or bow? Probably the bow. Um,
00:37:01.320 always behind the bow I think is, is more of a dream hunt of mine. Uh, we've got a pig hunt in
00:37:07.280 Texas. We've got obviously some hunting around here this year. Uh, I just, uh, secured the rights
00:37:13.680 for some hunting on the Island of Molokai for, uh, axis deer. Uh, and we'll probably go to PA. We'll
00:37:20.180 probably go to Minnesota. So I've got three or four hunts. My dream hunt is I would love to get to
00:37:24.300 New Zealand and do some tar hunting. Um, so what hunting tar? It's like a, like a mountain goat
00:37:30.640 similar to a mountain goat. Yeah. Um, so something like that would be really cool. I'd really enjoy
00:37:36.140 that. So we've got a lot of hunts on the horizon. All right. What else we got? Welcome home, farm
00:37:42.120 and TN. What types of activities do you, uh, recreational encourage with your children? Do you
00:37:47.700 see these as different from the other kids in the country? Would you consider these things as
00:37:52.340 masculine activities? And a masculine activity is something that is competitive, physical in nature
00:38:00.360 and pits you up against some sort of challenge. That's a masculine activity. And by the way,
00:38:05.800 that isn't exclusive to boys. Women can do that as well. Young girls, jujitsu. It's a masculine
00:38:11.160 activity, right? Like nobody would deny it's a masculine activity, but your daughters are involved
00:38:15.700 in jujitsu. My daughter's involved in jujitsu. So I'm not saying that women can't do it. I'm just
00:38:20.140 saying it's a masculine activity. Yeah. Typically. Yeah. Right. It is like, it is a hundred percent
00:38:25.040 when a woman, when a woman is engaging in even any competitive sport, it's a masculine activity.
00:38:31.180 A hundred percent. There's never an exception to that rule. That doesn't make her less of a woman.
00:38:35.560 I'm just saying it's a masculine activity. Yeah. That's how we look at it. So, um, what do I do? We,
00:38:42.360 we do jujitsu every day. We're doing some jujitsu, whether professional and, and, and organized
00:38:48.420 instruction or just us rolling around on the mats in our house and doing it that way. That's something
00:38:53.280 we do every single day without fail. Uh, my, my oldest son and I are building a canoe. We walk
00:38:58.820 around the yard. We're working on hunting. We're working on, uh, we build Legos together. That's not
00:39:04.180 a masculine activity. That's just an activity that we enjoy. Uh, we, we do it all art. I mean,
00:39:11.460 we do everything. It's not any tubing to follow, follow Mr. Mickler on Instagram. And then you'll
00:39:17.480 know of all the activities. That's like sledding. You mean? Yeah. Sledding. Yeah. We need to get
00:39:22.300 some. Yeah, no, we have an awesome sled hill on our property. So we do that during the winter.
00:39:27.300 All right, keep going. Let's go. A couple more. All right. Woodstring. How do you believe that
00:39:32.120 there is a movement? Why do you believe that there's a movement by the lefts leftists towards
00:39:37.440 labeling every part of their own identity? I am a blank. I've never felt the need to label my
00:39:43.980 identity, except to say that I am a brewer by trade. Well, that's an identity. Yeah.
00:39:53.180 So maybe just the nature of it. Why, why is this so critical? Why do we, well, because we're always,
00:39:58.460 we always want to put ourselves in tribes. You know, we always want to put ourselves in camp.
00:40:03.780 It's tribalism. Exactly. And it requires less thought.
00:40:07.440 Like if I'm a conservative, then I don't have to think. I can just follow a conservative and I
00:40:10.720 just vote straight party conservative. If I'm a liberal, I don't have to think. I just vote.
00:40:14.800 No critical thinking required. None required. All the tribe. Yeah. If I'm, if I'm a sheepism. Yeah.
00:40:20.280 Right. If I, yeah. If I'm a, you know, a, a Buccaneers fan, then like, okay, well,
00:40:25.240 I never have to think about anything else. Like bucks. Yep. All the way. A hundred percent.
00:40:28.920 It's like, it requires less thinking. It's actually very convenient. And aren't we as humans always
00:40:34.300 looking for patterns of convenience to absolve ourselves of having to do any sort of difficult
00:40:39.300 thinking or introspection into who we are and how we show up and to easily associate ourselves with
00:40:45.660 others without effort. Right. Now I think there is a movement to paint ourselves as victims. And so
00:40:50.900 there's a lot of victim victimization in these movements as well as like, well, I'm black. And so
00:40:56.520 I'm a victim. What does that mean? I'm a woman. And so I'm a victim. I'm a trans person. And so
00:41:03.140 I'm a victim. Yeah. No, like those are trans is a decision you've made. Black is just your skin
00:41:10.660 pigmentation. Woman is just your, your gender. Like that doesn't paint you as a victim. Have there
00:41:17.040 been crimes and, and, and things perpetuated against you? Sure. Yeah, of course. Like, I don't,
00:41:23.600 I don't think anybody would deny that. Like racism, for example, I don't deny that there's
00:41:28.140 racism out there. Do I believe there's systematic racism? I don't know. Show me, show me what system,
00:41:33.400 like, give me a specific example. What system today perpetuates the idea of racism? It's all
00:41:39.700 around you. So you're not, no, no, no, no. Look, I know you're saying that tongue in cheek.
00:41:44.000 Like, like, I want to know, like, okay, educate me. You know, that's the thing. Like get educated.
00:41:50.280 Okay. Educate me. What critically think? Yeah. What law or rule or way of life? Like what specifically?
00:42:00.200 And I would like to know. And if it's there, like probably let's talk about it. I think we should
00:42:04.100 address it. Yeah. Most of these issues that, and I believe that at some point we did have some
00:42:10.480 systematically racist policies in place. Of course, I won't deny that, but you point to me
00:42:17.660 right now, what system, what process, what rule, what law is in place that perpetually perpetuates
00:42:27.620 the idea of racism? And I will be happy to entertain it, address it, talk about it, deal with it.
00:42:36.360 Oh no, that's the answer you just said, Kit. It's all around you.
00:42:40.480 Okay. So like, where do we start? Tell me. We just can't be racist anymore. How? Tell me.
00:42:47.560 I want to be informed. Please educate me. Well, you just, you don't, well, you're just saying that
00:42:54.740 because you're, I legitimately like, if there's something there, like, let me know. Guys will say,
00:43:03.480 well, you know, we had a guy in the Facebook group talking about women. Oh, women. Oh, this,
00:43:07.580 they've been treated so horribly. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yes. In the past,
00:43:13.480 they couldn't vote. There was a tragic situation. Of course. Yes. I'm not denying that, but show me
00:43:21.680 specifically where society has said that women are to be treated inferior, that there's laws against
00:43:29.400 the way that women show, like, show me. And then I'll talk about it and address it and deal with it
00:43:35.820 as a man should. Well, it's just everywhere. It's all around. So it's nowhere. That's what you're
00:43:41.680 saying. If it's everywhere, it's nowhere. Point me, educate me, teach me, and then we will discuss it
00:43:50.080 and we'll come up with better solutions. But I honestly believe the whole, well, there's a part of
00:43:56.360 tribalism and this other part of victimization where you could just lump yourself in a category
00:44:00.840 and say, well, because I'm this, because I'm black, because I'm a woman, because I'm this,
00:44:04.420 because I'm that, that is just have less advantages. Or alternatively, it could just mean that you're not
00:44:09.880 doing what you know you should be doing. Yeah. It could actually just mean that. Yeah. How dare you?
00:44:14.800 That's sexist. That's misogynistic. That's racist. No, it's not. It's just saying you're not doing what
00:44:20.800 you should be doing. And I don't care if you're black or white or purple or brown or gay or trans
00:44:25.920 or lesbian or whatever. You're either doing the work or you're not. And that's it. Period. Bottom
00:44:32.740 line. End of story. Well, and we need to choose our tribes. Like, think about it. Like, okay, I'm
00:44:40.200 going to, I'm going to join a tribe based upon what? Values, principles, what's important in our,
00:44:47.840 in my life and what, how, how I should live a good life and what's fulfilling and what's best for my
00:44:53.280 family. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to join a tribe just because you look the same.
00:44:58.780 Really? Or you're going to join a tribe. You're going to, by default, someone else likes the same
00:45:03.960 football team as you. And by default, you, you guys have great things in common. That's the tribe you
00:45:09.540 want to join. Like they're all superficial. Right. Right. And so we, we join these tribes for the
00:45:15.280 sense of belonging without any evaluation of the tribe itself. Yeah. Yeah. Good point. And we take
00:45:22.580 the talking points, right? So we'll take the highlighted talking points and say, oh yeah,
00:45:26.700 you know, like liberal, like we believe in making sure everybody's, you know, happy and, and feels
00:45:34.620 welcome and inclusive. And that actually sounds all pretty good to me.
00:45:38.160 To me as a conservative, that actually sounds pretty good. And, and, but then you get down to
00:45:44.920 it and you're like, okay, well, there's some other things here. And then conservatism, you know, like
00:45:49.240 we're the party that capitalism and free markets and individualism and making sure that we have
00:45:56.260 freedoms. And that all sounds pretty good to me. I like that as a conservative. I like that. And then
00:46:00.440 you get down to it. You're like, okay, well, maybe there's some things that we could do ourselves
00:46:04.040 to make sure that we're handling things correctly. And, but no, that's nuance. Heaven forbid we think
00:46:10.340 about it a little bit. Yeah. I mean, I mean, look at, look at like women associating or identifying
00:46:17.260 themselves as feminists. Like is, is that tribe doing what's best for you? If you identify yourself
00:46:25.540 as a Republican, are those people of your tribe actually great representations of what it is to
00:46:32.240 be Republican? Maybe not. Or the values that underlie what it means, right? The values.
00:46:39.760 Exactly. Yes, for sure. Yeah. Like the talking points are different than what the tribe's actually
00:46:43.800 doing. Right. Right. And we've talked about this around BLM earlier this year. It's like,
00:46:48.560 is that a tribe you want to associate with? Are their values really in line? Or you just grabbed some of
00:46:53.660 the talking points and jumped along? Yes. Yeah. Nuance. Crazy world. Nuance, man. Nuance. It's so
00:47:04.540 important yet so often overlooked and underutilized. And social media has made it that way, which is
00:47:11.520 interesting for me to say because I make my living on social media. But that is one of my biggest
00:47:18.400 critiques of social media is I can make a post and I can make a one-liner and that sounds really good.
00:47:22.940 I'll give you an example. Post it on Twitter today. At Ryan Mickler. At Ryan Mickler. Let's plug that.
00:47:29.640 And I said, my evaluation of quote unquote good government is that it does as little as possible
00:47:34.540 to interfere with the lives of its citizens. Not as much as possible. You know, that's, I don't know,
00:47:40.100 what is that? 60 characters? Is that the breadth of my thought on what makes a government
00:47:47.420 good and moral and decent? No, of course not. There's so much detail to that. Yeah. Of course
00:47:52.640 not. Of course there's so much more to it. But I'm, I'm rewarded on Twitter and any of these other
00:48:00.240 platforms to be polarizing and short and pithy. And so I play the game, but there's more to it.
00:48:08.620 And that's why Nuance is so important. All right. We got to wind things up. I know you're busy. I'm
00:48:12.520 busy. We got to get, I got to jump on another podcast here. So let's close this thing out,
00:48:15.580 Kip. Yeah. We already mentioned this, you know, follow Ryan on Twitter and Instagram at Ryan
00:48:20.080 Mickler on Facebook. Join us on the Facebook group. That's facebook.com slash group slash order of man
00:48:26.460 or in the iron council. If you have no idea what that is, look it up. That's our exclusive
00:48:30.800 brotherhood. That's order of man.com slash iron council. And as always, no idea what the iron
00:48:36.400 council is. Get educated. Yeah. You know what? Well, we have new listeners all the time. So I'm,
00:48:40.700 I'm giving credit to the new, to the noobs, get educated. Um, but the other thing is too,
00:48:46.620 like you had a Friday field note about like culture. Right. And it's like, guys get connected,
00:48:52.520 right. Join our tribe. If, if our values and what conversations we're having is aligned with what
00:48:58.700 you're doing and spread that, spread that message, the message of critical thinking, you know, and
00:49:04.220 thinking through things and, and, and finding people with a common purpose and fulfillment in life.
00:49:09.060 So we can better show up in our lives. And you do that by subscribing to the podcast, subscribing
00:49:14.200 to the YouTube channel, uh, supporting us in the, in the store.orderman.com. And of course,
00:49:20.000 following Mr. Mickler, um, on Instagram and Twitter. So join us band with us. Yes, sir.
00:49:26.500 All right, guys, we got a jet. Appreciate you being on this path. Uh, let's see next week. We're
00:49:31.200 going to be talking with Tim Kennedy. I've got a interesting podcast about communicating with your
00:49:35.740 wife this Friday, so make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any of these podcasts. Um,
00:49:40.880 but other than that, guys, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.
00:49:45.020 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
00:49:49.620 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.