Order of Man - What I learned During My First Year of Jiu-Jitsu

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:27.520 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is order of man. I want to

00:00:32.900 welcome you back. I'm glad you're here. I say it every week, but every week, I'm glad that you're

00:00:36.700 tuning in. We need more men in the battle to reclaim and restore masculinity. And that's what this

00:00:41.040 podcast is all about. So tune in, learn, grow, share some ideas and insights with me, connect with me

00:00:48.340 on social media, invite other men to listen to the podcast. We continue to grow each and every week.

00:00:53.720 So I'm excited to see that and glad to know that the message is, is resonating to some degree,

00:00:58.680 because there seems to be an onslaught of dismissal and undermining of masculinity in society from

00:01:05.980 governments and educational institutions and the family court system, and even the medical

00:01:11.740 community and academia as well. So this is the antithesis of this or that I should say.

00:01:17.680 Uh, and it's the, uh, the goal to, I think I said a minute ago, reclaim and restore masculinity. So

00:01:23.440 that's what we're all about. Uh, today is your Friday field notes. You get to hear from me and

00:01:26.940 some thoughts that I've had from throughout the week. And I want to share something that's been

00:01:30.580 an important part of my journey, uh, over the past year, which is jujitsu. So I'm going to get into

00:01:37.440 that in just a minute, uh, before I do. And, uh, speaking of jujitsu, I want to introduce you to

00:01:43.700 our show sponsors and my friends over at origin, Maine. Uh, they initially started with Brazilian

00:01:50.640 jujitsu rash guards and geese. Uh, they've got this new product called under gear, which is, uh,

00:01:59.300 I think it's the same materials as a rash guards, but it's, it's underwear essentially. Uh, and that's

00:02:04.000 what I've been using. They're, they're awesome. I love them. They're compression shorts essentially.

00:02:07.540 Uh, so if you are getting started into jujitsu or you're looking to, uh, pick up some new apparel

00:02:14.960 and gear, then go check it out. Origin, Maine as in the state, Maine origin, Maine.com. And then use

00:02:21.060 the code order O R D E R at checkout. And, uh, you'll get some, some cool gear and you'll look good

00:02:26.720 in the process. And it's very functional as well. All right, guys, let's talk about my path, uh,

00:02:33.080 with regards to jujitsu over the past year. I know there's a lot of guys listening who have probably

00:02:38.440 been, uh, very involved with jujitsu for significantly longer than I have, uh, maybe

00:02:42.880 a decade or two or even three decades. So, uh, this particular podcast and conversation is not

00:02:49.320 designed to give you any strategies or technique or any of that. Uh, because frankly, I just don't

00:02:57.980 know enough about what I'm talking about to give you that. Uh, but I do want to share some insights

00:03:02.520 because this has been a very, very valuable part of what I've done to improve myself over

00:03:08.620 the past year. And I thought that there's some, uh, key insights that I could extrapolate

00:03:14.880 and share with you and maybe convince you to try jujitsu or try something else that may

00:03:20.780 have a lot of these lessons built into it as well. So let me share with you really briefly

00:03:25.120 my journey, uh, over the past year and how I got to this place and, and down this path of

00:03:30.520 jujitsu. And then I'll share with you some strategies and some tips and things that I've

00:03:33.620 learned over that timeframe. Uh, I had, this was last year, probably about, I would say

00:03:40.020 July or so June or July. Um, my friends at origin, Pete Roberts in particular invited me

00:03:46.960 to try jujitsu. And I have another very close friend, Matthew Arrington in Southern Utah, who

00:03:51.040 invited me to try jujitsu. And, uh, Pete invited me here to Maine. I was living in Southern Utah

00:03:57.540 at the time. Uh, he invited me to Maine for their immersion camp. And I said, I don't know

00:04:03.240 jujitsu at all. And he says, well, just go learn, go train. So that's what I did. And,

00:04:08.220 uh, spent some time learning with my friend, Matthew Arrington and, uh, did that for about

00:04:13.280 a month, went and did the immersion camp, got my butt kicked for a week and went back to

00:04:19.140 life and stopped at that point. I just stopped. I just kind of gave it up and I wasn't consistent

00:04:25.680 at all. And I didn't really do much of it. Uh, and then I moved out here in, uh, June,

00:04:30.980 yes, June of this year, uh, to Maine and started picking it back up in anticipation and training

00:04:38.180 for immersion camp again. And I was a lot more consistent. That was six months ago. And

00:04:43.980 I've been very, very consistent. I go two to three days a week now. Uh, and it has been

00:04:49.520 a great journey. So again, I'm, I'm a white belt. I'm just getting started down the path,

00:04:53.620 but I've really, really enjoyed it. And anybody who's even considering potentially starting

00:04:59.280 jujitsu or, or any form of martial art, frankly, I would highly, highly encourage you and recommend

00:05:05.340 that you do. I had somebody reach out the other day and ask if 40 is too old to start. It's

00:05:10.320 never too old. I'm 38 years old. Uh, I started at 37. It's not too old to start at 40 or 50 or

00:05:16.640 60. Uh, in fact, we've got our, I believe I want to say he's early to mid 60.

00:05:23.620 He's a, uh, black belt world champion. He just, uh, he just competed and won in his age division

00:05:31.000 at 60. I want to say 63, 65, somewhere in there. And he actually trains at our gym. So

00:05:36.140 it's never, it's never too late. Just get started where you are. Otherwise you're going to be

00:05:40.420 10 years down the road and say, well, I should have started 10 years earlier. All right. Enough

00:05:44.280 of that lead up. That's my path. Currently go two to three days a week. Really enjoy it. Get

00:05:49.420 my butt kicked. I feel horrible physically when I get home. Uh, but I enjoy it and I

00:05:54.720 like it and I think it will add value to your life. So let me share with you the 10 key lessons

00:06:00.160 that I have taken away from my journey. Again, this is not about technique or strategy, but

00:06:04.660 these are 10 key things that I've learned. Uh, number one, I'm, I'm just not as tough as

00:06:09.320 I think I am. And I think this is pretty true for most men. Most of us believe that we're tougher

00:06:14.820 than we are. Most of us believe that if we ever found ourselves in a physical altercation

00:06:19.720 or a dangerous situation that we would rise to the occasion. And it's been said, I believe

00:06:25.940 it was Archie Locus said that we do not rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to

00:06:32.080 the level of our training. So it was very discouraging when I started training that I would go in and

00:06:37.960 I would roll with these 150, 160 pound guys who I had 30, 40, 50 pounds on. And they were

00:06:45.580 literally running circles around me because I had built up this image of my mind of who

00:06:52.140 I was and how physical I was. I I've always prided myself on being fairly athletic and somewhat

00:06:58.420 strong and tough and capable. And so jujitsu poked a lot of holes in that theory that I had

00:07:05.420 about myself, which is good. That's what we want. We want to learn the truth. That's what

00:07:10.220 we should want. Anyway, some of us don't want to hear the truth because it's uncomfortable

00:07:13.740 and we may find ourselves wanting, but the reality of your capacity and your capability is very,

00:07:21.880 very important to define and understand because that's the level from which you grow. So as I

00:07:27.640 had these, these, I would say smaller men than I running circles around me and tying me up

00:07:34.100 in a pretzel, uh, is very discouraging. Uh, but it also gave me a framework from which

00:07:39.660 to grow. So be careful of setting yourself up for failure by living in a delusion by living

00:07:47.620 in fantasy land and assuming that just because you find yourself in a negative situation, an

00:07:52.600 encounter, an emergency, a natural disaster, that somehow you're going to miraculously rise

00:07:57.620 to perform the way that you and other people might be relying upon you. And jujitsu has been

00:08:03.020 a great way for, uh, me to realize that, yeah, I'm inadequate in that area. And it has given me

00:08:09.340 a whole new perspective as to, uh, underestimating people. Uh, and then of course, improving my own

00:08:15.620 capacity and capabilities. So that's number one. Uh, number two, consistency beats intensity.

00:08:22.800 Consistency beats intensity. Uh, there was a time where I was very, very inconsistent. In fact,

00:08:27.680 I went, I told you when I very first started jujitsu, I went for maybe a month or two, and then I

00:08:31.800 stopped and then I started back up. Jujitsu seems to be a perishable skill. Uh, it's, it's not like

00:08:38.140 some, you, you, once you learn it, it just, you have it at least for me anyways, at my, at my level,

00:08:43.660 uh, it's very easy to forget even some of the fundamentals and the foundations that you learn

00:08:47.760 if you aren't continually, uh, being consistent with how often you're going and how often you're

00:08:53.640 training. So it's funny because I noticed myself saying, well, I'll just, I'll just go really hard

00:08:59.760 to make up for the day that I missed. And while that's better than doing nothing, it's not nearly

00:09:04.460 as powerful as if you just maintain that smooth, consistent, uh, continual effort towards improving,

00:09:13.000 whether it's jujitsu or archery or your ability to speak in public or the relationship or physical

00:09:18.860 fitness or any other facet of your life, the intensity is important. And I'm not, uh, intending

00:09:24.300 to undermine and dismiss your level of intensity, but don't think that intensity is going to make

00:09:31.560 up for your lack of consistency. If you want to be good at something, just like I want to be good

00:09:36.240 at jujitsu, then you have to be very, very consistent, very, very deliberate. You have to carve it out,

00:09:43.040 carve it out of in stone of your week and just make it happen. There's all sorts of things every

00:09:48.240 single week that come up that would keep me from going to class and training, but I don't do it

00:09:53.820 because it's important for me. And I realized that the consistency is very, very valuable and it's

00:09:58.840 what's going to, uh, expedite the learning process and the growth or the learning curve for you.

00:10:05.240 So that's number two, consistency beats intensity. Number three, uh, my pride keeps me from growing.

00:10:12.040 Uh, it's easy when you go to class to roll with other individuals who are at your same level,

00:10:18.100 or maybe even under your level, because you feel good when you beat those individuals.

00:10:23.160 But then when you go roll, go to roll with a higher belt, maybe a Brown belt or a purple belt

00:10:29.080 or a black belt, uh, and, and get smoked, well, that's not comfortable, right? That doesn't do

00:10:34.820 anything for our fragile egos. And so we spend our entire lives operating in this, this comfort zone.

00:10:42.520 And I naturally find myself gravitating towards people that I know I can compete with on a,

00:10:48.360 on an even playing field or that I'm slightly better than, and I think there's value in that.

00:10:54.000 I think it builds up confidence. I think it helps you work on technique and strategy,

00:10:58.280 but you shouldn't overlook rolling with higher belts or running in circles that are better than you.

00:11:04.840 Uh, because that's how you grow. That's how you expand. You push yourself outside of your comfort zone.

00:11:10.180 Uh, you get banged up, you get beat up a little bit, but because you're not so worried about your,

00:11:16.660 your fragile ego and your pride, you're able to grow and expand because you see what is possible.

00:11:22.840 It's not easy to see what is possible when you're operating with the same people who are on the same

00:11:28.560 plane as you. So for me, I have to naturally fight that inclination to operate with people with,

00:11:38.540 with like my direct peers. And again, there's value in it in certain instances, but if you're using it

00:11:44.060 as a scapegoat or an escape or a, an excuse to perform with other high performing individuals who

00:11:51.340 might be better at something than you, you're doing yourself a disservice and you're letting that fragile

00:11:55.740 ego get in the way of your potential growth and progress. Uh, number four is I'm just getting older.

00:12:01.740 Like when I get done with class at the end of the day, I just realized that I'm tired. I'm exhausted.

00:12:10.160 Uh, I'm banged up and beat up. Like under my arms are always bruised up from, from hands and fingers.

00:12:15.560 And, uh, my back's a little sore and I might notice a little kink in my knee and my shoulder's

00:12:20.740 been giving me some problems. And look, I'm not trying to gripe and complain. This is what happens.

00:12:25.760 We get older. Uh, and, and people say things like, well, age is just an arbitrary number. No,

00:12:31.040 it's, it's not arbitrary. It's, it's actually a real thing. It's, it's a representation of

00:12:35.880 your body breaking down to some degree. And I don't think I'm on the downhill side of this,

00:12:40.660 but I do think it's silly to say ages, ages, just a number. Yes. Technically that's what age is,

00:12:48.060 but it's representation of how long your body's been operating. Now, the reason I share this with you

00:12:54.180 is because compared to when I was 18, 20, 25 years old, I need to be a lot more deliberate

00:13:01.100 and intentional about how I care for my body from the foods that I consume to the stretching,

00:13:06.860 to the exercise, to the lifting. So I can build strength to mobility, to getting enough sleep.

00:13:14.320 These are all, they're significantly more important now, I believe than they ever were

00:13:20.300 because I could overcome getting a few hours of sleep when I was 20, but I can't do it at 38.

00:13:26.260 So I'm keenly aware of that. I operate from reality. I don't believe age is just some arbitrary

00:13:31.620 number. I think there's healthy, you know, 50 year olds or 60 year olds. And I think there's

00:13:36.980 unhealthy 50 and 60 year olds. But the reality is, is that as I get older, I'm 38 now. And as I

00:13:42.100 continue to get older and move down this path, I'm going to have to be more and more aware of it

00:13:46.520 because my body just can't recover and recruit recuperate fast enough, which is fine. It's not

00:13:51.220 an excuse not to perform and not to go down this path that I'm interested in. It just means that I

00:13:56.080 have to be aware of other facets and take care of my body as a whole so that I can recover. I can get

00:14:03.580 the proper amount of sleep. I can keep myself from overtraining or getting injured. These are things I

00:14:10.060 don't want to deal with because I have other things outside of jujitsu that I want to do in my life,

00:14:13.920 be available for my wife and kids and you guys listening and, and watching and being part of

00:14:19.080 this movement that is order of man. Uh, but I'm aware, all right, I'm getting older. I got to take

00:14:23.960 care of my body better. And I noticed that when I do, I just feel better. And also by the way,

00:14:28.520 and I didn't even think about saying this and I'll throw a little plug in here. Uh, there's one

00:14:32.440 product that I use in particular. Again, this is with origin main, uh, that, that focuses on, uh,

00:14:38.880 training and supplementation for we'll say active individuals. It was jujitsu initially,

00:14:44.100 but it's active individuals, uh, is I use their joint warfare and it's a, it's a supplement designed

00:14:50.840 to help with aching elbows and shoulders and knees and help rebuild some of the cartilage and tissue

00:14:56.300 in those joints that are getting beat down and worn down as you're doing your thing. Even my fingers,

00:15:00.660 uh, I'm not a huge fan of supplementation or I haven't been in the past, but joint warfare by origin

00:15:06.920 is something that I noticed actually plays a, uh, a significant role in me recovering.

00:15:12.140 So you can go to origin, Maine, Maine is in the state, maine.com and check out their joint warfare.

00:15:17.340 It's partnered up with Jocko Willink and use the code order or DER at checkout. So you can get a

00:15:21.880 discount there. But anyways, that, that was, uh, that was the point I'm getting older. Number four,

00:15:25.880 uh, number five is I just need physicality. You know, I live, I live behind this computer. I live in

00:15:32.400 front of this, this, this video camera in front of this microphone. And I think most men are probably

00:15:37.900 in that situation. We're so sedated. We're so comfortable. Uh, we don't exert ourselves physically

00:15:43.540 at all. We're hunched over a computer all day. We're slouched in an office chair or behind the

00:15:48.480 wheel of a truck or a car and commuting, or, uh, we just don't get the physicality that we need.

00:15:55.020 And I've noticed that physically I feel better, but mentally and emotionally, I feel better because I

00:16:01.620 have an outlet in a path for, uh, aggression and strength and just like grit and determination and

00:16:09.860 the things that I think men inherently possess and want to develop in their lives. So physicality

00:16:16.860 has been good for me. And maybe it's not jujitsu, but maybe it's running. Uh, maybe it's basketball.

00:16:22.320 I think having competition and pitting yourself against another man is, is valuable above and beyond

00:16:29.140 the physicality of it. Uh, so that's why I choose jujitsu, but man, it's, it's been so good for me.

00:16:35.540 And I've noticed that as I have this outlet that I'm calmer, uh, I'm, I'm more comfortable. I'm more

00:16:42.660 confident in myself because I have a channel to direct the potential rage or anger or just frustrations

00:16:51.860 and things that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Just like you do. I'm not any different than

00:16:55.940 you. You have things that you need to deal with on a daily basis. And being physical is a great

00:17:00.640 outlet for that. So that's number five. I need physicality. Uh, number six, accountability.

00:17:05.740 The nice thing about training with these guys is I'm very, very accountable to them. I know that

00:17:10.720 they're relying upon me. I'm relying upon them. Um, when I'm not there, I get a text from Pete that

00:17:16.100 says, Hey man, we missed you at training, or I'll get a text the morning of and say, Hey, we've got

00:17:19.500 training tonight at, at six o'clock. So make sure you're there. That level of accountability,

00:17:24.080 knowing that I'm knowing that people know when I'm absent and know when I'm present actually

00:17:29.600 pushes me further than I would before. Like there's this weird thing in society that a lot

00:17:33.380 of guys think is the best way to operate, which is this lone wolf mentality. Just go out of the

00:17:38.320 lungs. Zero F's given. I don't need help from anybody. I can do this all on my own. And maybe

00:17:43.820 you can to a degree, but you're definitely operating at an inferior strategy or method for growth

00:17:50.680 in your life. If you really want to excel, build in some accountability programs and systems in your

00:17:55.700 life. And jujitsu is a big process or part of the accountability for me, especially because there's

00:18:02.100 guys there. The other thing that's nice in a way is you can't lie like jujitsu. There's no lying in

00:18:10.460 jujitsu. Like you could say, you could even put on a different belt or say that you're better than you

00:18:14.660 are. But when you get on the mats and you start rolling with another individual, it's B it's going to

00:18:18.600 become apparent very, very quickly, how good you are, how much effort you've put in, how much time

00:18:25.500 and energy you've dedicated to improving your abilities to, uh, to be good at, at, at the, at the

00:18:33.220 activity. Uh, and I like that. I like that. You can't hide. There's no hiding. It's you and one other

00:18:39.260 individual and he's trying to hurt you. You're trying to hurt him. And that's accountability. That's

00:18:45.900 like extreme accountability is that if you don't do what you need to do, then you're going to get

00:18:51.760 hurt or you're going to get embarrassed or you're going to get, uh, you know, circles run around you.

00:18:56.920 So I like the accountability. It's uncomfortable. It's awkward. It feels stupid at times. You feel

00:19:02.220 inadequate. You feel like a moron. I feel all those things every time I go in, but at the same time,

00:19:06.760 I feel good because I'm pushing myself and I have the accountability and I can't hide behind

00:19:12.100 anybody else. I can't hide behind lies. It's all right there on the mats. And everybody knows,

00:19:17.440 including yourself instantaneously, how good you really are. Uh, number seven earlier,

00:19:23.260 I talked about consistency beating intensity, but number seven is technique beats strength.

00:19:28.740 And again, I'm not saying that strength isn't important. Obviously, if you have two individuals

00:19:33.840 and both of these guys are highly technical, well, there's an advantage that goes to the guy who's

00:19:40.280 strong. So I'm not saying that you don't need to be strong. I'm just saying that not everything

00:19:46.380 needs to be muscled. Not everything needs to be bull rushed. The beauty of jujitsu is that it's a

00:19:53.980 good sport for those who maybe aren't as strong or aren't as big because through the technique of

00:20:00.500 jujitsu, you learn to level the playing field. So you're working off of leverage and techniques and

00:20:06.240 abilities and quickness and strategy. There's guys that I roll with. Um, one in particular,

00:20:11.580 he's a Brown belt. Uh, his name is Jay and he's, he's phenomenal. Uh, and, and another one,

00:20:17.480 Ty Nichols, again, smaller than me. I've, I've probably got 30 to 40 pounds on these guys and yet

00:20:23.440 they're very technical. Uh, they're, they're very quick. It's like a little, little road runner running

00:20:30.240 around my big body, like trying to catch them. And I've noticed that I just can't out muscle these guys

00:20:35.820 because their technique is so good. And that's given me a whole new perspective on life, not just

00:20:42.260 the mats, but in life in general, I tend to be a dominant personality. Somebody who just sees

00:20:46.880 something in front of them and just bull rushes it and charges through. And what I've noticed at

00:20:51.740 times is that I leave a wake of collateral damage in my path. I've noticed that through jujitsu and

00:20:57.720 understanding that not everything needs to be muscled through that you can relax, that you can be

00:21:03.180 patient, that you can take your time, that you can try different strategies, that there's different

00:21:06.660 technique, that there's leverage involved. I don't always have to use every ounce of my physical

00:21:12.600 energy and muscles to accomplish the task at hand. And that's a beautiful thing. So it's causing me to

00:21:19.060 reflect and think and be smarter rather than focusing so much on just bull rushing everybody.

00:21:25.200 Cause the problem is, is if in jujitsu, you run a, if all you're using is strength,

00:21:29.460 there's always somebody stronger than you. There's always somebody stronger than you.

00:21:34.240 And if all you do is rely upon strength, when you meet that guy, who's stronger than you,

00:21:38.820 you're going to lose. So yes, you should be developing strength, but you should be hyper

00:21:43.880 aware and focused on the technique that goes with it as well. And then number, uh, let's see,

00:21:50.520 I mixed the order up a little bit. Cause I wanted to change these things. I was going to say,

00:21:53.780 we'll go this way. Uh, number eight, and I talked about this a little bit, but pushing outside of

00:21:59.520 your, uh, uh, comfort zone builds confidence, pushing outside of your comfort zone builds

00:22:05.180 confidence. I talk with a lot of guys who ask me about building confidence with, with themselves

00:22:11.960 or their body or women or their job and being more assertive and in their relationship. Like,

00:22:17.060 how do you build confidence? You don't get to just have confidence. It's not some gift that was

00:22:22.180 just bestowed upon people. Those who are highly confident, the men that you recognize as being

00:22:27.200 those types of individuals have earned that. They've earned that through competency. They've

00:22:31.860 earned that through, uh, exhibiting courage and pushing outside of their comfort zone and then

00:22:36.720 doing the things that they're scared of doing. If you're afraid of talking to women, how do you

00:22:40.540 build confidence in talking with women? You talk with more women. It's that simple. If you're afraid

00:22:47.360 to have conversations or potentially speak in public, how do you build confidence towards speaking in

00:22:51.940 public? You speak in public. So confidence is a by-product of competency and competency is a

00:23:01.700 by-product of effort and effort is a by-product of courage. You need to display and exhibit some level

00:23:10.920 of courage in your life to build up enough reps to develop the competence towards an activity, which

00:23:18.980 then breeds the confidence that you're after pushing outside of your comfort zone is not a comfortable

00:23:25.540 thing to do. That's why it's called outside of your comfort zone. It's not easy. It's awkward. You feel

00:23:30.820 dumb. You feel stupid. You question yourself all the time, but then when all is said and done, you feel

00:23:38.400 better. Why do you feel better? Because you did something and you proved yourself capable, even to the

00:23:44.620 slightest degree of something that you didn't previously think you could do. So whether it's

00:23:50.700 jujitsu or speaking in public or talking with women or asking for a promotion or starting a business or

00:23:56.620 developing any skill in your life, if you want to build more confidence towards that thing, then you've

00:24:02.140 got to be more active in doing that thing and pushing beyond your fear limitations. Number nine,

00:24:08.620 proximity is a great predictor of performance. Let me say that again. Proximity. Proximity is a great

00:24:15.480 predictor of performance. It doesn't guarantee performance, but it's a pretty good predictor and

00:24:20.720 indicator of it. So I'll give you an example. When I was in Southern Utah, I had one friend that I knew.

00:24:26.700 I told you earlier, Matthew Arrington, who, uh, introduced me to jujitsu. And that was really the only

00:24:33.500 person that I knew this, the gym was kind of far away. I didn't have any accountability. Nobody was

00:24:39.400 pushing me towards going to the, to jujitsu. And so I just didn't, you know, I went to several classes

00:24:44.800 over the course of six weeks or so, and then just fell out. When I moved to Maine, everybody that I

00:24:51.620 knew did jujitsu Pete and Brian and Levi and Ty and all these guys, Nate, all these guys did jujitsu.

00:25:01.120 And because they're close and they're within proximity and the gym is fairly close to me,

00:25:06.380 and that's the sphere of influence that I run in, then naturally I'm going to do jujitsu more.

00:25:12.480 That's just how it works. You're going to find yourself very similar to the people around you.

00:25:16.880 So we had somebody came that came in and, uh, and trained with us. This was several weeks ago

00:25:22.500 and he was rolling with different guys. He didn't usually come and train with us. He trained somewhere

00:25:26.920 else in Maine. He's rolling with different guys. And then we, him and I started rolling and he said,

00:25:31.120 man, all you guys roll the same, like you're tough, you're strong. You guys all roll the same.

00:25:35.420 And it was a very interesting, it was an interesting thought at the time. It was an

00:25:39.160 interesting comment. And it really made me realize that you're basically going to operate

00:25:45.260 and act like everybody around you. The reason that we roll the same is because we learn from

00:25:49.680 the same people and we roll against the same people. And we can talk about rolling with different

00:25:54.400 people later. That's a, that's a pushing outside of your comfort zone, but it's, of course,

00:25:58.660 we're going to roll the same. Of course, we're going to act the same. Of course, it's going to

00:26:01.960 be similar in nature. This is just the way it is. So proximity is a, is a great, it's a great

00:26:10.920 factor to consider in life. If you want to be wealthy inventory, how wealthy the people around

00:26:17.000 you in your life are. If you want to be physically fit inventory, how physically fit the people in

00:26:22.180 your life and around you are. If you want to have a great relationship with your wife inventory,

00:26:27.020 the guys you're hanging out with, do they have great relationships with their wives?

00:26:30.600 If you want to start a successful business and be an entrepreneur, then inventory your inner circle

00:26:37.340 and see who in there is an entrepreneur and having success. And if you can't find people who are having

00:26:43.780 success on those factors or those, those facets of life, then it's going to be difficult, not impossible,

00:26:50.760 but difficult for you to achieve levels of success. This is why proximity is so important.

00:26:56.620 Don't put yourself around other people that are succeeding to the level that you wanted to or

00:27:01.240 want to. When I, uh, when I started order of man, that was really my goal. It was to put myself around

00:27:07.280 other highly, highly successful men. These are men who are succeeding in business, men who are

00:27:12.860 leading their families. Well, they're fit, they're strong, they're confident. These are guys I want to be

00:27:17.380 like. And through the order of man podcast and being able to interview these individuals,

00:27:22.040 I have naturally, uh, improved my capabilities and capacity in every facet of life. Now,

00:27:29.700 somebody might be hearing this and say to themselves, well, you know, it's easy for you

00:27:33.560 because you have a podcast. Well, there's nothing keeping you from having a podcast and there's

00:27:38.060 nothing keeping you from identifying people in your area. When I was in my financial planning

00:27:42.640 practice, I was really struggling in the early years. And I identified a couple of advisors, uh,

00:27:48.020 outside of our, our main office, which was, uh, in Northern Utah. So it was about three and a half,

00:27:52.840 four hours North of where I was at the time. And these were guys who were performing well,

00:27:57.680 just quarter after quarter after quarter while I was struggling. Long story short,

00:28:03.460 I just asked these guys to lunch. And I said, I'd love to learn from you. Can I take you to lunch?

00:28:07.960 And you can share a couple ideas or strategies and let me know maybe what I'm doing wrong or what I can

00:28:12.660 employ in my practice to grow it to the degree that you are. And they said, yeah, of course we can do that.

00:28:17.140 So we went to lunch and they showed me their ways and we partnered up on some business over the

00:28:21.040 next several years. And I was able to grow a thriving practice because I was willing to put

00:28:27.080 myself in the path of those other high producing advisors. So if you're looking for success in your

00:28:33.480 life, find people who are successful to the degree that you want to be successful and put yourself on

00:28:39.200 their path. I'll talk more about how to, uh, find a mentor and, and, and build that type of

00:28:45.000 relationship. But for now it's important to know that proximity is crucial. And the people that are

00:28:50.700 close to you are going to be a pretty good predictor of your performance, good or bad.

00:28:54.940 So inventory the people around you, the last thing that I want to share with you, this is point number

00:28:59.700 10 is that Brazilian jujitsu is simply a metaphor for life. That's one of the reasons I really,

00:29:05.340 really enjoy practicing is because it's translatable to every facet of life from leverage to understanding

00:29:14.220 technique, to understanding when to use strength versus when to scale back and when to be patient

00:29:19.680 and when to explode. And all of this stuff, everything that I have learned from jujitsu is

00:29:26.680 applicable to my business. Uh, it's applicable to my family life. It's applicable to other,

00:29:32.400 other facets of health that I'm interested in every facet of life. And because I have this,

00:29:38.360 not only this physical practice, but this metaphor for learning and for growing, I am a better

00:29:44.480 businessman. I'm a better family man. I'm a better father, a better husband, a better leader in my

00:29:49.740 community, and just a better man in general, because I have this hobby and this activity that

00:29:54.100 teaches me indirectly about life. And that is so, so beneficial, uh, when it comes to me practicing

00:30:03.320 and training with regards to jujitsu. So guys, there it is a little different. Maybe when you saw

00:30:09.300 the title of this, you thought I was going to give you some technique that you can use or some new

00:30:13.720 submissions that you could try. I don't know enough to give very many people any advice. Uh, so,

00:30:20.680 and there's plenty of other podcasts and channels that you can watch and learn and grow from. And

00:30:26.220 we're planning on having some of these individuals on the podcast in the future to talk about that

00:30:29.720 stuff. But for now, I thought this would be a good idea to share with you my journey,

00:30:33.560 my path, some of the key takeaways over the past year. And I'm sure over the next year and five and

00:30:39.500 10 years, as I continue down this path, I'll have more and more lessons to be able to share with you.

00:30:43.620 But on a parting note, I would suggest that you give it a try. If jujitsu or any other form of

00:30:50.200 martial art has been something that's been on your mind and you're interested in giving it a try,

00:30:55.660 then just go do it. A couple of pointers for doing that. Find somebody in your circle who's

00:31:01.620 already training jujitsu and ask to go with them. That's the best way to do it. That's the easiest

00:31:06.280 way to start. If you don't know anybody who's training jujitsu, get in the, I was going to say

00:31:11.420 phone book, but we don't look at the phone book anymore. Jump online and look for some gyms in your

00:31:17.300 area. Don't get so set on one, go visit two, three, four, five different gyms, get a feel

00:31:22.840 of the vibe. Each gym is going to have a different, a different vibe, different feel.

00:31:28.880 You're going to, you're going to know, I think intuitively what's going to serve you well and

00:31:33.060 what you're looking for, but give it a try. And then the other thing I would suggest is invite

00:31:37.540 your buddies, invite your buddies. If you're going to go do it, invite somebody else. It's easier if

00:31:41.680 you have somebody with you, if you go into a new place and there's 15 people, you don't know,

00:31:45.660 and they're all trying to, to, to hurt you. Uh, that's going to be a hard thing to keep going.

00:31:50.660 But if you go with a buddy and say, Hey man, let's shoulder to shoulder, let's do this thing

00:31:53.820 together. It's part of the accountability process. I talked about earlier. Uh, you're going to have

00:31:57.260 an easier time specifically in sticking with it. So those are some strategies to giving it a try.

00:32:02.520 Um, I would definitely check out origins immersion camp. There's no, I don't think there's any dates

00:32:06.760 yet or registration page, but that seems like that's the end of August. Typically,

00:32:10.600 if I remember correctly, uh, also check out origin. If you need a new gi, if you need some,

00:32:16.320 their rash guards are phenomenal. Check out the rash guards. Very cool designs. Uh, they're under

00:32:21.660 gear, the compression shorts that I've been wearing, which I really like wick all that moisture away

00:32:26.040 and keep you where you need to be. Uh, check it all out. Origin main has in the state main.com

00:32:32.200 use the code order at checkout. Anyways, guys, that's all I have. Let me just recap. Number one,

00:32:36.720 I'm not as tough as I think I am. Number two, consistency beats intensity. Uh, number three,

00:32:41.540 my pride keeps me from growing. Number four, I am getting older. I need to be keenly aware of that.

00:32:46.560 So I can keep myself from getting injured. Number five, I need the physicality in my life. Number six,

00:32:52.620 accountability is crucial. Number seven technique beats strength. Number eight, pushing outside of

00:32:58.640 my comfort zone builds confidence. Number nine, proximity is a great predictor of performance.

00:33:04.480 And number 10, Brazilian jujitsu is a metaphor for life. All right, guys. Oh, one other thing

00:33:11.420 people are going to ask me, well, I don't know about jujitsu, but I was going to try

00:33:14.960 taekwondo or karate or boxing or whatever. What's best. The thing that's best is the thing that you're

00:33:21.620 going to do, right? There's not one art that's going to be better necessarily than the other.

00:33:26.600 They all have their value. They all have their strength. They all have their weaknesses. Find something

00:33:30.660 that can, can motivate you and inspire you to keep going. That's the most important thing. Again,

00:33:35.820 consistency beats intensity. So find something that you can be consistent with, and that's going to be

00:33:40.740 the best thing for you. All right, guys, that's all I've got. Have a great weekend. We'll be back

00:33:44.380 next week. James clear is joining me on the podcast to talk about atomic habits. I hope you're enjoying

00:33:49.280 this. Make sure if you're watching this on YouTube, you punch that little subscribe button. If you're not,

00:33:54.280 go to youtube.com slash order of man. If you're just listening to this, uh, if you are listening,

00:33:59.460 excuse me, make sure you subscribe, leave a rating and review, leave some comments below and let's

00:34:04.460 stay engaged. All right, guys, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

00:34:08.860 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:34:13.240 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - December 13, 2019

What I learned During My First Year of Jiu-Jitsu ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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