What is a Masculine Life, How to Handle a Wife Making More Than You, and Helping Kids with a Difficult Move ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 9 minutes
Words per Minute
170.64456
Summary
In this episode, we talk about injuries, injuries, and how to deal with them. We also talk about the struggles of being a father and how we deal with it. We talk about how we handle injuries and what we do to recover from them.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Kip, what's up, man? Good to see you. Your hair looks great today,
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by the way. Your hair is looking great. Get a little scuff on the side. What's this?
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What is this on the right side of your eye right here? I use my head in jujitsu too much,
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and I constantly, like once this starts, mark my word, once this starts, that will be a scab
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for months because it'll get easily agitated every single time I train, and I'm not willing
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to stop training. So now I have like this permit scar on the side of my face. I'm going to your
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right side next time we train. Good to know. Thank you. The funny part, this is not even a
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gi rash. This is no gi smash my face rash. Hold on. Hold on. We got a malfunction. A technological
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malfunction. Hold on. All right. I think we're good. What is that Red Bull you're drinking?
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Oh my goodness. Okay. So there's a little something on my eye too, right here. You see
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it right here? Oh yeah. It's a sunspot because I don't use my head during jujitsu. I do it right.
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I use the side of my head all the time. I don't know. That's why you have cauliflower ear, bro.
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Joey. I actually, I, I used to think it was from people grinding my ears. No, it's from me
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from my ears on people. I swear I create it more than, than they do. So I was talking the other day
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about cauliflower ear and he's like, well, you know, I don't have, he's been training for a long
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time, longer than you. I mean, yeah, that's not like he's been around for a long time. Yeah. And
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I'm like, why don't you have cauliflower ear? He's like, cause I protect my head, bro. I'm like,
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got it. Fair. That's a fair response. So now you're like, I hope I don't get cauliflower
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here. It's going to give me shit forever. Yeah, dude. I've been dealing. You guys know
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this torn bicep. Look at that. Look at that shit, man. That's a week. Yeah. Better. It looks
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amazing. Guess what Ryan's doing tonight. He's going to jujitsu deadlifted. Who cares? I already
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deadlifted, bro. My son was like, dude, I bet you can't pull as much as me. He's 14. I'm like,
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how much. And the ego kicks in, you know, he's like, care that I'm injured. And he's
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like, I can pull two 65. That's my record. I'm like two 65. What? So like a little boy
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weight. All right. So I threw up two 65 is warmups. That's not true. Actually. I was
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like, Oh shit, I'm in trouble. And, uh, we got to, I think, I think the other day I got
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to three 15. I, I don't like saying this. I'll be honest. I'm probably like, if I could
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pull, if I had a one rep max, I'm thinking maybe like three 63 70, somewhere right in
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there. That should always be two times your body weight. So I'm thinking like
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somewhere right in there. I pulled three 15 and I was like, okay, I'm done. I, it
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hurts. Like it hurts my pack. This pack right here on my left side is like way
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bigger than my right side. So I think maybe you jacked your pec a little bit.
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Yeah. I think I need to go in. It's bigger, like, like visibly noticeably bigger. So, well,
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you keep playing with it and it's going to keep doing that. I keep tweaking my nipples
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like this. And you know, my pec just like gets bigger. I don't know. I don't know what's
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going on here. What Ryan's not telling you guys is the next morning he didn't get out
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of bed. Don't worry about all that. It doesn't matter. I threw my bag out what we're talking
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about how much you can lift, not how quickly you can recover after the fact.
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So I will say today, we'll get into questions here in a second. I will say today I'm fired up.
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I posted something about homeschool. Actually, I made two posts about homeschool today.
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And my wife sent me a message because I was out running errands and she's like,
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I see you're pissing people off early this morning. That's exactly right.
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Do people get mad when you make posts about homeschool? What's the typical reason they're
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angry? Well, I'm going to do a Friday field notes this week about it. So make sure you tune into that
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if you are interested in a deeper discussion. But there's usually two or three. Number one is
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not all parents are in that position or not all kids can get homeschooled by their parents. That's
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number one. Because we've relied on school as a babysitter, babysitting tool. And they're not
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in a position to be able to do homeschool because they need to work. Is that correct?
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Okay. Correct. Yep. So two parents working. Look, I'm not going to judge that. I get it. If we look at
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Bidenflation, I mean, come on, you're paying 30% plus more for everything. I get it.
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Yeah. We all might need his. I get it. Totally get it. This is Biden's fault.
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Okay. I'll be rude. This is not Putin's price hike. This is Biden's fault. Then you,
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some of you people listening voted for Biden and it's also your fault. You can take that.
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So I get it. Okay. So that's one. Hey, we can't afford it. I get it, but work towards it. You
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know, you might have to sacrifice. You might have to let go one of the cars. You know, you, you
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probably like, if we look, look at the statistics, you, as a family, you probably own more than two
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cars. How many cars do you own Kip? I probably shouldn't say. No, just say it. Four, four cars.
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I own three. And what? We don't need four. No, no, no, no, no. And we don't need four.
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So you have five. You have five vehicles. Okay. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not saying that to put it on
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you. Like you guys have created the life that you want, but like, that's cool. Yeah. Okay. We,
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we have, we have two vehicles, excuse me. We have three vehicles. One's being restored
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right now. And we have two street worthy street legal bikes, dirt bikes. Yeah. So we've got
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like six vehicles. Okay. The average consumer owns more than two vehicles. What, what would
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10 or $20,000 in your bank account mean? Yeah. It, for you, it's okay. For me, it's okay.
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But for the people who are like, well, I can't afford it. Well, how many cars do you own?
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That could be the difference. Yeah. Right. Okay. How many, how many subscriptions do you own?
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How much bullshit and baggage do you, I know you want to talk, but like how much shit do you own?
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And then simultaneously, you're going to say to me, well, like I can't homeschool because I don't have
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any money. Well, no shit. You've been buying six cars. Of course you don't have any money.
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All right. Go ahead. No, I was just going to say, I've always been bothered by,
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cause I, I was, we were pretty poor being, or being raised when I was being raised and it,
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it always shocked me when you would see like a, another poor family that had like cable TV or even
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TVs and like game consoles and other things. And, and they were still asking for help. I never
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understood that because I was like, we'll sell your TVs first, right? Like sell these other things you
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don't need, but you're right. What about fat, poor people? Yeah. Like how can you be fat and poor?
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Yeah. That's, that's what we would call the, the, the technical definition is an oxymoron.
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I'm fat as fuck, but I'm poor oxymoron that you ain't poor. I have food. Yeah. But you're overeating.
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Okay. So come on now, come on now. So my wife, so I'm fired up. You can hear it. Um, but my wife was
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like, Hey, Oh, you're getting started earlier or whatever. Yeah. You're damn right. I am. Cause
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I got a problem with what's going on with the public school system. And this is what I said to her and
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she laughed cause she knows me, you know, eight, almost two decades of being together. Good.
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So you gave three reasons why people typically complain. One was, Oh, they can't, they can't
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pull it off because of their financial circumstances. What's the other two? Um, the, the second is they
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won't be socialized. Oh, the, okay. They're afraid their kid won't be socialized appropriately.
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Okay. Yeah. And then all my kids. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I don't buy into that. I have brother,
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I have a brother that has homeschool kids. We actually homeschooled Kiave for a few years,
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you know, but, but, but, but I do think that's a trend. People assume that you know what I mean?
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It's, it's an old, it's an outdated line of thinking because when you and I were in high school,
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so this was, so I'm four, I just turned 41. So what's that? 22, like 20, 23 years ago,
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like 27 to 23 years ago. So like a quarter of a century ago, uh, the homeschool kids were
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fricking weirdos, man. I started laughing because I knew exactly what you're going to say. It's like,
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yeah, actually homeschool kids used to be odd. They were fricking. No, that's, that's nice. You
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said it nicely. They're fricking weirdos. Yeah. That's funny. Okay. Today, like, you know, my kids,
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I got four kids. Yeah. My kids can hold the room with the best of them. My kids could sit at a table.
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My oldest in particular could sit down at a table with 700 men and, and, and hold the table.
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Yeah. Tell jokes and stories and laugh and tease and mock and play and, and, and engage with the
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best of them. Totally. All right. So there's this. So what did I say? There's, there's the,
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hey, two parents need to work. There's the socialization issue. The last issue that I hear
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all the time is like, well, you know, that's nice for you, but some kids, bro, I'm not talking about
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some kids. What do you mean? Something about what, what they'll say is like, well, but some kids don't
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have a parent. Some kids don't have two, two parents out. Some kids are, so I'm not talking about
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the exception to the rule. Right. Yeah. And I'm not even talking to, I'm talking about you.
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Does that apply to you? You think, you think when I talk to you that I'm saying that, that saying,
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well, some kids I'm talking to you, bro, you. Yeah. So what are you saying to me? You're either one
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a saying my kids don't have two loving parents. So that's an indictment on you. Yeah. Or I'm not
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willing to do the work, which is also an indictment on you. Yeah. Now look, I know that there's some
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kids out there who don't have loving parents. What the fuck do you think we're trying to change
00:11:50.100
in the order of man podcast? I'm trying to get men to step up. I want you to step up. I want you to
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live your life. I want you to be a man. I want you to, to, to work with as best you can,
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the consequences of maybe some poor decisions that you made in life. That's what we're trying
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to do here. Yeah. That's the point of the mission for you to step up as a husband, a father, a business
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owner, a community leader, all these things. So don't talk to me about some kids, either those,
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some kids are your children or those, some kids are somebody else's children in which I recognize
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that maybe we need to come in collectively as a society and help these children out. I'm talking
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about your kids. Okay. My children, my, I have four. How many do you have Kip? Six, seven, six,
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That would be the same as like, hold up. That's a bad sign. You know, I am a loving parent.
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I'm talking to you, Kip. You don't even know how many kids you have.
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I can't, I don't know where I was going. You guys all know. Who knows?
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All right. Look, it's been a tough morning. Actually. It has. It's been a day. It's been a
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day. All right. The point is guys here at the end of the day is like, take care of your kids,
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do what's right by them. It's going to require a sacrifice. And you know, those kids who don't
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have the luxury that your children do because you're involved and hopefully you're, you're
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working to become more involved. Yeah. We need to take care of those guys. And so we step up and
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we coach sports and we, and we coach little league teams and we step up in the community and we work
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to serve these individuals and public schools and option for these kids. But for your kids,
00:14:03.840
you really ought to consider homeschool. There's one other thing. And then we'll get the questions
00:14:08.820
that I said, cause I made two posts about homeschool today. Yeah. Which is a rarity.
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Usually I only do one because like nobody can handle it. You know, you can't handle one,
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let alone two. Second post I made is if I was a school teacher, I'm like, all right, look,
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if I was a school teacher, because I know that there's great school teachers out there.
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There, there really are. And, and what I'm suggesting to you is not an indictment on school
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teachers broadly. There are some scumbag school teachers, a hundred percent for sure. And there
00:14:40.860
are some incredible, incredible, lovely, beautiful, courageous school teachers that are working in a
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broken system. To me, it's like you have this, just this like disgusting, rotted, gross tree.
00:14:56.760
And there's one limb that is like beautiful. And it's working on overtime trying to produce the
00:15:04.260
best fruit, but the tree is entirely rotten. And this tree is just doing, or this limb is doing
00:15:09.520
everything it can to produce beautiful apples or pears or oranges or whatever. And the whole tree is
00:15:16.660
rotten. And it's like the last, the last like resort, the thing that's holding on the last.
00:15:24.100
And I made a post and I said, if I was a school teacher, what I would do is I would leave government
00:15:30.020
schooling immediately. I would pick up 10 students, 10, just 10 in my immediate community. I would
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charge $1,500 a month. So if I I'm doing my math correctly, this is not common core. This is like my
00:15:43.720
math, 1500 a month times 10. If my math serves me correctly, that's 15,000 a month. If my math serves
00:15:53.000
me correctly, times 12 annually is 180,000. So you're making just under 200 grand a year,
00:15:58.920
just under a quarter of a million dollars per year. And you're working with 10 children
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and you're serving them and you're loving on them and you're teaching them truth.
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And you're serving your community and you're quadrupling. If not, I don't even know the term
00:16:22.200
quintupling your income and you give them personalized attention and you cater their
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schooling based on what they need to know. And you don't work with them. Let's just say
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hypothetically, they go from, uh, what eight o'clock to five o'clock. So that's nine hours
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times five. That's 45 hours. Uh, again, I'm, I'm not using common core, so I could be wrong,
00:16:50.540
but to me, the math comes to 180 hours per month. If there's four weeks in a year in that month.
00:16:58.220
And instead of doing 180 hours, you're doing a hundred hours because you're not doing assemblies
00:17:07.440
and you're not doing bullshit and you're not trying to be way more efficient than that.
00:17:13.080
Yeah. And you're not undoing what Joe Schmo, you know, woke Mr. Woke over here. You're not undoing
00:17:19.560
all his bullshit or her bullshit or their, they bullshit. Cause I think that's the pronoun we're
00:17:25.380
supposed to use. And so you let you, you have to like radically change everything. They just learned
00:17:31.080
for the last two hours. And now instead of 180 hours per week, you're doing a hundred hours per
00:17:38.440
week. You're making more money. You're serving these kids better. The community is better served.
00:17:45.120
That's hard for a school teacher because you've been indoctrinated and you don't want to hear that.
00:17:50.840
Yeah. Well, and I think some schools teachers might hear this, like, that's really
00:17:55.320
great, but I couldn't, or maybe I couldn't get those 10 students. And I would suggest you could
00:17:59.860
dude, you, the, the teachers as a parent, the teachers that are amazing. If like giving a perfect
00:18:06.980
example, we're, we're pulling Kika and Kulani probably out next year and working with one of
00:18:12.500
those schools from Matt, the private school that Matt does. And we're a little to the same teacher
00:18:20.540
that Kika had when she was in fourth grade, just said that she's still doing fourth grade and is
00:18:26.040
curious about Kulani. And we're now we're like, Oh wait, she's so great. And so now we're thinking
00:18:31.600
about keeping her around with that teacher. Cause that teacher was so amazing. If that same teacher
00:18:36.260
said, Hey, I'm doing my own thing. We'd be like, awesome. Sign us up. Yeah. Cause once you get an
00:18:41.500
amazing teacher, it's like, it's, it's everything. Yep. They're so good. So Miss Gwen is one of our
00:18:48.380
favorite teachers. Um, I think three of my children have worked with Miss Gwen, you know,
00:18:55.460
she was a kindergarten teacher, uh, actually preschool and kindergarten private, right? Private.
00:19:00.300
Yeah. Yep. She's awesome. You know? So anyways, all right. Well, soapbox step down.
00:19:06.920
On that note, before we get started, do you want to throw out URLs really quick for
00:19:11.360
man and caged just so that's upfront and personal and, and, and so guys know about it? Cause that's
00:19:16.520
a limited window. Yeah. So guys, thank you for bringing that up. We have an event this weekend.
00:19:21.660
It's, uh, this Saturday. Uh, so that's going to be May 7th, May 7th. Uh, it's called man uncaged.
00:19:29.700
So I'm going to be speaking. Kip's going to be there. John Lovell is going to be speaking.
00:19:33.560
Bedros Cooley's Cooley is going to be speaking. Jack Donovan's going to be speaking. Tanner
00:19:37.620
Guzzi is going to be speaking. Matt Pedro is going to be speaking. Steven Mansfield is going to be
00:19:41.180
speaking. Um, this is a powerhouse lineup. So you can do one of two things. If you're in the
00:19:47.260
Sacramento, California area. And if you are, I don't know if you listen to this podcast,
00:19:52.120
actually, if you're in California, it's further up North, it's further up North. You're good.
00:19:57.000
It is. Okay. Fair. Fair. So like you're Northern California, not the same. Uh, we're going to be in
00:20:02.440
the Sacramento Roseville area, May 8th, go to manuncaged.com slash live. You can pick up your
00:20:08.280
ticket there. The second option is if you're not in the California area, which I don't blame you.
00:20:14.180
I commend you. Then you can do the virtual conference, which is free, free virtual conference,
00:20:22.140
manuncaged.com. I think that's it manuncaged.com. And you'll have access to the virtual conference,
00:20:28.660
which you can attend when we have unlimited seats there. So if you want to come rub shoulders with
00:20:33.740
all of us, me, of course, right? Like, of course. Uh, but the, some of these other guys who, you
00:20:39.700
know, are kind of cool. Then you can do the live manuncaged.com slash live, or you can do
00:20:44.660
themanuncaged.com, which will take you to the virtual ticket. Yeah. Come on site. Help me hackle,
00:20:51.780
harass these guys, bro. There's nothing you can say. I haven't heard. I promise you that.
00:20:57.540
Uh, good times. All right. Should we jump into it? Let's do it.
00:21:02.420
Facebook.com. Yes. Go ahead. Slash group slash order, man. Go ahead.
00:21:07.960
Nope. That's it. I'm on. I'm on. I'm on your time now, Kip. Okay. Andrew Workman. How did your
00:21:14.180
kids handle your move to Maine? My plans for the future and where I see my, uh, dictate a move to
00:21:20.080
a different state. And if not dictating the move, a move may make the endeavors more successful,
00:21:26.160
but I worry about the impact of my family and my kids. Some extended family would go with us,
00:21:31.300
but the kids' cousins wouldn't. Thoughts, recommendations. Good question. Two things.
00:21:37.660
Number one, it doesn't matter. You're the adult. Do what's best for your family.
00:21:42.920
You're the adult. Your kids don't know. Your kids are dumb.
00:21:45.720
Okay. They're dumb. They're ignorant and they're dumb. It's like a double whammy.
00:21:52.560
Yeah. Just like mine are. I'm not calling your kids dumb. Like, Oh, Kip's kids are so dumb. Like,
00:21:57.780
Oh, no. Like all of our kids are dumb. Okay. My kids are dumb. Your kids are dumb. Like
00:22:03.340
the cool thing that we have in common is that all our kids are stupid. Okay.
00:22:06.660
Like, like, so what you are the dad. Your wife is the mom. You make the decisions culturally. It's
00:22:19.060
like, Oh, well tell me what, like you have a penis, but like, but you feel like you should
00:22:23.420
have a vagina. Oh, tell me about it. Oh, like, Oh, maybe I should, you know, like care about that.
00:22:28.520
No. Like if your boy has a penis, then he's a boy. If your daughter has a vagina, then she's a girl.
00:22:34.420
Like I have boys and a daughter and you know, they are what they are. Like, you don't get to tell me
00:22:39.980
you don't get to dictate the tone of the conversation. All right. Let me get that out of
00:22:45.100
the way. Um, how did our kids handle it? We worked very closely with them about the pros and the cons.
00:22:54.500
We didn't lie to them. We told them the truth, which is that in many ways, it's going to be good.
00:23:00.580
You can have some wonderful opportunities. We have some land to stretch out on and we're going to play
00:23:05.480
and we're going to laugh. We're going to joke. And we're going to do this all together. And you're
00:23:09.320
going to have to leave your friends and you're going to have to make new friends and you're going
00:23:15.200
to have to change your lifestyle. Cause we went from public school to homeschool and it's going to be
00:23:19.920
sacrificial in a lot of ways. And that's the trade-off. Like you don't get your cake and eat
00:23:26.940
it too. You got to choose. And here's what we've chose to do. And so the better that my wife and I
00:23:33.460
have been involved in the process, um, the more that we can engage them in a meaningful and
00:23:38.680
significant way, not only for us, but for them, you know, my oldest is like, he's all about hunting.
00:23:44.680
And so he's like, dad, can we do a food plot? Yeah, absolutely. We can do that.
00:23:50.560
My daughter's like, Hey, I'd like to dance. Cool. Let's find you a dance studio in the area.
00:23:54.960
And it's 45 minutes away every Wednesday night. My wife drives my daughter 45 minutes away to go to
00:24:02.820
the dance studio. And she has little girlfriends and they play and they laugh and they dance together.
00:24:07.460
And one of them, that's her best friend in the world, you know, quote unquote, best friend in the
00:24:12.320
world is moving to Oregon and she got her number and she's going to talk with her or whatever.
00:24:18.660
Kids are resilient. Okay. Kids are going to learn from you. They're going to see how you handle it.
00:24:24.280
And then they're going to bounce back and they're going to get on their feet in a new, in a new
00:24:28.400
environment. So be aware of what they're struggling with. I got to be honest, my second son, not totally
00:24:34.800
on board with the move. You know, I could see him being back in Utah and just living his best life.
00:24:42.780
And at some point, maybe he will, maybe he'll move back or, you know, maybe he'll move somewhere
00:24:47.100
else. And he loves the city and he gets energized by it. And he's like, he just loves it. I don't love
00:24:54.680
it at all, but he loves it. And so he's going to have to make some changes probably in the next
00:24:59.460
was 11. So in the next six or seven years. And so like, that's okay. Like you can make those changes,
00:25:05.620
but here's the experience that we're having now. So it's really about the experience that you're,
00:25:09.280
that you're having. But the one thing I would say is don't place too much weight on how your
00:25:14.520
kids will deal with it because that becomes an excuse. Your kids will deal with it to the degree
00:25:21.300
And so this afternoon I get done. So it's about noon here and I've got a call right after this
00:25:28.700
that I've got to get on. So that'll put me about, about one o'clock Eastern. And my, my kids are
00:25:35.420
like, Hey dad, can we go shoot the 22? Absolutely. We can go do that. And that'll take us an hour,
00:25:41.420
you know? Um, and then I can go back and do some work, but like, this is the beauty of what we've
00:25:47.500
created here. You can make it work in any environment. Totally. I can't, I'm sure this
00:25:52.960
is the case for you too, Ryan, where some of the most memorable experiences of my life were the
00:26:00.380
difficult scenarios of when I was a kid. There are the scenarios I would have avoided as a kid.
00:26:06.820
And most parents would have tried to like shield me from, but because I was exposed to them,
00:26:14.760
there are some of the most memorable things I've ever experienced in my life. Yeah. So you don't
00:26:20.640
know a move is not going to be that. Right. So yeah, they're going to, the kids are, and you, by the
00:26:26.800
way, the kids and you are going to be fine wherever you are. So in our church and Kip, you and I share a
00:26:35.560
similar faith. We, we, we host a, um, a testimonial meeting is what it's called on the first Sunday of
00:26:43.820
each month. Yeah. And that testimonial is no Bishop or no priest or nobody else is coming up to give us
00:26:50.980
a sermon, but that testimonial meeting is opened up to the church congregation. And so on a voluntary
00:26:57.640
basis, people get up and they speak about their relationship with Christ and their relationship
00:27:02.660
with God and their, and, and the things they've been dealing with. And one of the things that I
00:27:08.820
used to hear a lot is, you know, I really, I really pray. I I've been trying to figure out where I need
00:27:14.460
to move and I've been really praying for an answer. And God said, and I, I've, I personally, I really
00:27:21.420
take issue with that. Kip, I don't know how you feel about that. Like God actually doesn't care where
00:27:27.880
you live. I think he's a lot more hands-off than I think most people think, but yeah. And it's
00:27:34.820
because that's how you learn and grow. It's not because he doesn't care. Like you need to make
00:27:38.840
your decisions. And so I don't think God said to you, well, you should move to Maine. I think God said
00:27:47.120
to me personally, that if Maine's where you feel like you want to go, I will support you in that.
00:27:54.800
And I will present opportunities and I will give you guidance and direction. But if Maine's
00:28:00.840
somewhere you feel like you need to go, then I have your back. I think that's what God has said
00:28:05.760
to me. Yeah. But I don't think God said you should move to Maine because it could be Maine. It could
00:28:13.320
be Nebraska. It could be Oregon. It could be Colorado. It could be Montana. It could be any of
00:28:18.920
these States. And God's like, no, no, wherever you move, like I've got your back. Like I'm going to help
00:28:23.440
you. And it's the same with schooling. It's the same with education. It's the same with moving your
00:28:31.660
kids. Like wherever your kids are, you have their back and there's going to be pros and cons. And so
00:28:39.860
it's okay. Like you have their back. They'll be okay. They'll be fine. You support them. You do what
00:28:46.560
needs to be done as a father. You would not be asking this question if you didn't feel like you
00:28:49.980
have the capacity to do it, or you wanted the desire to do it. You guys will be okay. You really
00:28:55.160
will. You'll be better. You'll actually be better because you did something challenging together
00:29:00.320
and that's meaningful and that's significant. Bob Ross. People ask all the time for book
00:29:08.240
references. Hold on. I'd like to know. The guy's name is Bob Ross. That's awesome. Bob Ross. Yeah.
00:29:14.220
I can pronounce that correctly. So I know that's right. Well, you know, Bob Ross is
00:29:19.400
sorry, Bob. Who's Bob Ross. Oh man. I'm not even going to say anything.
00:29:31.220
I can't, I can't even. I'll pretend to not be distracted in Google, Bob Ross,
00:29:37.000
or you try to trick me into Google, Bob Ross. I can't even, I don't know if we can. Oh,
00:29:43.400
the happy tree guy. Yes. Come on. I'm not even sure. I don't even know his name. It's Bob Ross.
00:29:52.520
I'm not even sure we continue to do this podcast together. All right. Go ahead and ask the question.
00:29:58.360
Happy tree guy for next week. People ask all the time for book references. I would like to know
00:30:04.520
what a short story or poem that resonates with you and why. A short story or poem.
00:30:12.000
Yeah. I come prepared in case you didn't. Cause I thought about this and I thought, well,
00:30:16.800
maybe I'll pull up something, but. Well, there's a couple of things. So one that always inspires me,
00:30:23.380
it's right up here on my wall is Theodore Roosevelt's man in the arena. So that's kind of a quick snippet.
00:30:30.260
There's another one. Let me read this to you. So this one comes from my second son, very artistic.
00:30:34.880
Music. Yeah. Just very interested in the arts written, spoken, drawn, whatever. Very interested
00:30:42.000
in the arts music. This one's called living statue, living statue. He wrote this probably three years
00:30:49.360
ago when he was maybe eight or nine years old. He says, and I've got it framed. I should show you
00:30:56.120
guys sometime. I've got it framed and posted. He says, I think I'm right. I think I'm wrong.
00:31:02.280
I didn't listen to the statue rules. I'll see. I'll go with the flow. Oh, excuse me. So I'll go with
00:31:11.060
the flow, go slow as an alpaca. That's it. Let me, let, let me just read it one time. Cause I
00:31:22.080
butchered it. I think I'm right. This is called living statue. I think I'm right. I think I'm
00:31:26.860
wrong. I didn't listen to the statue rules. So I'll go with the flow, go slow as an alpaca.
00:31:35.360
And one time I asked him, I said, what, what does that mean? What do you, what are you even
00:31:40.100
getting at here? Yeah. He's like, well, dad, I don't know. And I'm paraphrasing. He said, sometimes
00:31:44.380
I'm like, I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but then it doesn't feel right. And sometimes when I
00:31:50.500
feel like I do the quote unquote wrong thing, I feel like I'm also right. And I didn't listen
00:31:56.060
to these statue rules. And I'm like, what do you mean by the statue rules? He's like, I don't know,
00:31:59.700
like statues are like, like frozen, like somebody's telling you what to do. And like, it's immovable.
00:32:08.220
I'm like, okay. And he says, so, but I didn't want to follow those rules. I wanted to, I wanted to be
00:32:13.920
different. And alpacas are weird. That's what he said. Alpacas are weird and they're different and they're
00:32:20.200
not like unique. They're unique. They're not like a real, like a, like a normal animal.
00:32:25.140
So I wanted to be like that. I'm like, bro, you're nine years old. You shouldn't be thinking
00:32:32.940
about this stuff, but he's right. Like he's a hundred percent. Right. Like, I think I'm right.
00:32:39.900
I think I'm wrong. He's conflicted. Yeah. Okay. I didn't, I didn't listen to the statue. I didn't
00:32:48.200
listen to what everybody else, all the authorities told me what to do. So I think I'm going to go
00:32:55.940
with my own rules. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to do my own, I'm going to do my own thing.
00:33:00.200
I'm going to go slow as an alpaca because an alpaca doesn't care. It just spits on your ass when
00:33:07.780
you like try to get to get in its face. Okay. I got, so he drew this on a little piece of paper,
00:33:16.300
like an eight and a half by 11 piece of paper. And I reached out to my designer
00:33:20.020
and I said, I need you to, I need you to like do this. And he's got a picture of an alpaca. I'm
00:33:26.720
looking at it right now. He's got a picture of an alpaca. And I said, I need you to just put this
00:33:31.040
together. And we have three or four of them written around the house. That stuff's powerful, man.
00:33:37.580
Powerful. It's like one of my favorite poems. And it's from my son, my second son, when he was
00:33:44.240
probably, like I said, eight or nine years old. I find it interesting around eight or nine.
00:33:52.520
All my kids have expressed the conflict of right and wrong, like logically in their head
00:34:01.240
around that age. And it's always fascinates me. They're like, Oh, I, I feel tempted. Like I want,
00:34:10.260
they don't use the word tempted though. Other thoughts enter my mind. And I want to do the
00:34:15.780
wrong thing. You know what I mean? That's, it's really interesting. It's always around that age.
00:34:21.640
Yeah, it is. They, um, they start, they start to claim some, well, what we talked about is sovereignty.
00:34:30.420
Yeah. Right. They start to gain some control over their life and see that they are
00:34:34.820
autonomous creatures that they aren't, they aren't required to follow what we follow as,
00:34:41.540
as, as their father. So it's kind of an interesting point in their life.
00:34:46.000
Yeah. Um, can I say one other thing on that kit? Like when, when you talk about poems or short
00:34:52.560
stories, I have all sorts of stuff up in my office that reminds me of that. So, um, I've got Theodore
00:34:58.320
Roosevelt. I've got my son right here. I've got one by Jason Reese. It says when nothing seems to help,
00:35:04.260
I go and look at the stone cutter hammering away to his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as
00:35:08.840
much as cracking a crack showing in it yet at the 101st blow, it will split in two. And I know it was
00:35:15.820
not the blow that that blow that did it, but all the blows that had gone before I've got a code of
00:35:21.020
conduct up here. Like I've got stuff in my office that reminds me of what I need to be reminded of,
00:35:26.780
uh, in order to do the things that, you know, I want to do in life.
00:35:33.740
All right. Dylan Beaudry tips for finding contentment in a job that doesn't challenge
00:35:39.620
you or push you in your respective field, but pays the bills.
00:35:47.120
Well, paying the bills is great. That's a virtuous thing,
00:35:50.200
but I think what you might be doing and, and I don't want to put words in your mouth or
00:35:57.700
jump to conclusions is I think what you might be doing is assuming that it's your job's
00:36:03.940
responsibility to give you meaningful challenge. And it isn't. And so you're wondering when they,
00:36:09.380
again, I'm guessing, cause I don't, I don't know the backstory, but you might be sitting there
00:36:14.720
wondering when your job is going to give you something that's meaningful or significant.
00:36:18.320
What I would suggest to you is go find it. Like what charges you, what energizes you,
00:36:24.620
what gaps do you see? What challenges are the business is the business dealing with?
00:36:29.280
What struggles, um, how could they make more money? How could they serve their clients better? Like
00:36:34.380
all these questions you could be asking. And then you could go to, if you were my boss,
00:36:38.920
Kip, I'd go to you and I'd say, Hey, um, you know, Mr. Kip, here's the things that,
00:36:43.440
that we're doing very, very well. And here's the reasons I actually like being part of this
00:36:48.240
company. We're doing all these cool things. Um, but what I noticed is that there was this
00:36:53.140
really interesting, I went through all of our social media profiles and accounts and questions,
00:36:57.740
and there was this reoccurring trend and people were asking about X, Y, and Z. And I thought, man,
00:37:04.840
what a great opportunity. We've never even considered that before. And so, um, I've put together ABC,
00:37:11.300
which I think would help address this. Have you guys ever addressed this before?
00:37:14.520
And he would say, yes, we have. And here's why it didn't work and say, oh, okay, well,
00:37:18.760
here's why I think maybe we can reevaluate it. Or he might say that, uh, no, well, actually we've
00:37:28.100
never addressed that before and say, okay, great. Well, with your permission, and I'm not asking for
00:37:35.700
you to pay me more or like, like nothing in return, but with your permission, I would really like to
00:37:41.160
start tackling this. Would you be okay with that? And then you get the permission and you start
00:37:48.440
building out your own position. I don't know what it is. I'm speaking generally and broadly. Like,
00:37:56.040
I don't know what your manager's like, but, or your boss, but these are ways that I would personally
00:38:01.520
bring it to the table. In fact, I have done that. Like when I worked in retail,
00:38:06.440
I, I, I saw issues that we had with the way our store was set up. And so I brought it from a manager
00:38:12.680
and fortunately she was very receptive to that. And I did it tactfully, but she was very receptive
00:38:17.340
to that. Um, and that helped me develop this leadership capacity. Uh, there was also things
00:38:24.680
in my financial planning practice. And this is very, this is a very important lesson. So I was trained
00:38:32.220
by a bunch of what I would call old timers. Okay. These are guys that are probably 60 plus years old,
00:38:38.160
uh, in the financial planning service. And they've been in the business for at least a quarter of a
00:38:43.460
century, if not more, three, four decades. And I went to them and I'm like, Hey, have you guys ever
00:38:49.680
tried like doing digital marketing, digital marketing? Oh, what are you talking about? Have you guys ever
00:38:56.900
tried a podcast? Oh, podcast. Oh, that's stupid. Oh, what are you talking about? I'm like, okay,
00:39:00.940
well, clearly these guys aren't on board. They all were kind of overweight and they were all slightly
00:39:06.300
balding and their chairs were a little higher than either my chair as somebody walking to their
00:39:11.360
office or their client's chair. You guys know exactly who I'm talking to. And I said, you fools,
00:39:16.280
not to them, obviously face to face, but in my head, I'm like, you fools, like you fools,
00:39:22.520
you sit in your, you know, your ivory towers and you look down on me and you look down on your
00:39:28.840
clients. You guys are foolish. And so I said, well, I'm going to start a podcast. And you know
00:39:35.860
what those companies that I was working with did? They said, well, we're not totally comfortable with
00:39:42.700
this. You need to submit everything that you're going to talk about. You need to submit us a script
00:39:49.760
every week. So our old ass people can look at that script and make sure you're saying the things that
00:39:57.360
are approved. And you know what I said? Fuck you. I'm not doing that. Here's what I'm doing.
00:40:05.660
And I said, well, you know, Ryan, well, you can't do your podcast. And you know what I said? Good.
00:40:10.400
I'll go start a different podcast. And guess what I did? The order man podcast.
00:40:14.500
And here we are seven years later doing this because a bunch of old decrepit
00:40:24.440
men who thought they had it figured out, didn't have it figured out. And guess who's running laps
00:40:35.460
So when a guy says, well, like, I don't know what to do. Like you create the solution and it might
00:40:45.340
lead you to a betterment in your current business. It didn't for me, the hires up, the powers that be
00:40:51.260
rejected it for me. Unfortunately, not for me, unfortunately for them, because I could have
00:40:58.460
made them quite literally billions and billions of dollars, like literally billions of dollars,
00:41:03.640
but they didn't accept it. And so I said, see you later. And now we are here
00:41:12.240
with order of man doing something that wasn't even on the radar seven, eight, nine years ago.
00:41:21.320
Yeah. Create the solutions to your problems. They're there. And if people don't believe in you,
00:41:26.000
good. Believe in yourself. And there are going to be people who, and there have been people who
00:41:31.960
believed in me. You know, Kip, you've been with me for a long time. You believed in me. You don't
00:41:37.640
have a reason to do that. You might have a reason now. And if you join now, I might say, well, okay,
00:41:43.540
like I might question a little bit more, but you believed in me when nobody else did
00:41:47.000
or very few people did. I should say that that's, that's more fair when very few people did.
00:41:52.940
Yeah. And I think the key thing here too, Ryan is just to be really clear, at least for me,
00:42:00.720
you got to be killing it in what your current responsibilities are. And, and that's, that's,
00:42:06.620
that's really the, that's the confirmation of willingness to let someone like see an idea and
00:42:15.120
run with it. Because I know that them running with this idea would be beneficial. Why? Because they
00:42:20.860
have the right work ethic because they're committed. You know what I mean? They work hard or whatever,
00:42:25.260
but if you're mediocre in what you're currently doing now and you're disenfranchised and you're
00:42:31.340
just doing the bare minimum, and then you come to the table and go, ah, there's a great idea. I'm
00:42:36.320
going to go. Yeah. You can't even do what you're doing today. Well, so why, why would we give you
00:42:44.180
more? Right. Because then, then I'm thinking you're just the guy that's, that's chasing a shiny
00:42:49.500
object and this is exciting. And eventually once it's not exciting anymore, you're not going to do
00:42:54.060
a good job. No, I, I agree. I think that's a hundred percent right. So double down on what
00:43:01.420
you're doing, but, but I will throw one caveat to that tip. And I'd like to hear your feedback on
00:43:06.440
this is like, just because you're killing it in whatever you're doing doesn't mean they're going
00:43:13.240
to see the vision of what you'd like to do. Yeah. You still run that risk. Correct. And,
00:43:18.600
and some of it, I mean, and don't get me wrong. There's some value, right? Like it could mean
00:43:22.680
your boss is closed mind. It could mean you failed at pitching the idea well enough for them to connect
00:43:29.200
to it. Right. So, you know, as always, as with most things, be slow to judge and, oh, it's my boss
00:43:37.240
and maybe evaluate a little bit and say, well, did I articulate that well enough for him to get on
00:43:42.060
board? Right. So I actually hear this a lot in the relationship aspect of life. So we had Terry
00:43:48.060
cruise on last week. And one of the things Terry talks about, and that was super fun conversation,
00:43:53.220
by the way, that's a cool conversation. I mean, the guy is actually like,
00:43:59.200
well, I say actually, because I don't think it's that common. He's very down to earth.
00:44:03.820
Yeah. He's very humble. Um, and he's very supportive. You know, he's still, he comments
00:44:09.880
on Instagram with me. I could probably text him and he would text right back. He's I, I got a message
00:44:16.720
from somebody that had, uh, well, I, I'm not going to disclose what he said, but he, he, he, he disclosed
00:44:23.700
a very heartfelt message and I, and I forwarded it without the names. Cause I want to be discreet
00:44:28.540
there because of the impact that the conversation had on him. Yeah. It was an impact that, that had
00:44:33.680
with him. And he did something in his own personal life based on that conversation. And I took that,
00:44:39.020
I screenshot it and I took it without his names, without his name on it, or identifying information.
00:44:44.100
And I sent it to Terry and Terry's like, Oh my goodness. He spent, sent me like a very incredible
00:44:49.440
message back. Um, and, and so like, he, he, he's very heartfelt. He's, he's very, um, engaged in what
00:45:00.600
we're doing here. Uh, I can't remember where I was going with that right off hand, but do you remember
00:45:06.360
what we were talking about right before that? Um, right before that we were talking about,
00:45:10.420
you know, don't be too quick to assume like, Oh, my boss doesn't understand. Take some ownership
00:45:15.940
in regards to being clear and concise on your message or your pitch. And then you brought up
00:45:21.800
the conversation with Terry. Yeah. Gosh, dang. I got distracted because I was, no, it's not,
00:45:26.920
it's not you. I was just got distracted because I was thinking about like, that's not common for
00:45:31.840
somebody to do that. Unfortunately, I wish it were more common, but he's one of the few and there
00:45:36.620
have been, but the, one of the few individuals who actually did that. Um, I guess maybe I'll remember
00:45:41.720
it later. I just, I just lost my train of thought. So I might, I might pull it back up.
00:45:47.560
Okay. Mark Mancuso, how to properly balance a masculine life when a spouse, his wife has a
00:45:55.100
career that pays 10 times what he makes. In fact, uh, me trying to make money, uh, definitely hinders
00:46:03.360
family life. I am okay with it, but it does bug me a little bit. I look, I get it. I actually
00:46:10.220
get it. Yeah. Me too. It would bother me too, but I know that, I know that the common theme is to be
00:46:17.840
like, well, so what she makes more than you, but like, but like put yourself in that situation for
00:46:22.840
a minute. Well, as men, we, we love, I mean, whether good or bad, and we could probably have a
00:46:29.720
whole conversation on whether it's good or bad or not, but a lot of us measure, um, our,
00:46:34.920
our value of met as a man in our ability to provide for our families, right? Like that's
00:46:43.700
one of the things that we do. Right. I mean, of course it should be. That's, that's what we talk
00:46:48.560
about. Yeah. All right. But what do we do with this? I get it, bro. I empathize with you kind of,
00:46:56.240
but then at the same time, like, damn, your wife's making 10 times. That's awesome.
00:46:59.700
Yeah. What are you bitching about, man? Come on. Like I see both sides of this. I really do. And
00:47:07.480
I'm trying to be very honest. That's one of my goals for this quarter is just to be more honest.
00:47:13.640
And the aunt, like I made a post about how charming Joe Biden was in his, uh, in his, uh,
00:47:21.620
presentation with no, no, no, no, no, no. With his, his speech at the press conference.
00:47:31.400
Like he was very charming, like very good. And everybody's like, ah, I'm going to lose my mind.
00:47:40.280
And I'm like, no, we gotta be honest. Like he was pretty charming. That was also, by the way,
00:47:45.980
that's also the most dangerous he is, is when he's charming because then he fools everybody.
00:47:50.460
Yeah. But he was charming. Like, we gotta be honest. And so with this guy, I gotta be honest.
00:47:58.760
I'm like, man, I get that. I feel that. Like when your wife's making more than you and she's like,
00:48:05.700
quote unquote, being more of a man than you are. Like, I feel it. I think it's fulfillment.
00:48:14.340
Explain. I mean, just thinking if I were Mark, right.
00:48:18.940
Why, why, why do I put value associated to my ability to provide? And it's because it gives me
00:48:26.260
fulfillment. It's a form of fulfillment in regards to I'm making an impact and I'm making a difference.
00:48:32.920
So if I'm not making a difference and impact financially for my family, then I have to be
00:48:39.700
about something. So you better figure out what the other mission is, right? The other way that
00:48:46.460
you're being fulfilled in life, knowing you're killing it. Like that's the, that's the answer,
00:48:51.480
right? You gotta be killing it in life. So if killing, it's not 10 X financially, then,
00:48:57.880
and let's be honest, a lot of us listening could be killing it financially and not really killing it
00:49:03.520
in life too. Right? Like that's not everything. And so maybe the answer, at least my thought is,
00:49:09.100
find another mission and start getting after it and have, leave a lasting impact. And maybe it's not
00:49:16.600
in how much money comes in through the door at your home, but it's elsewhere.
00:49:23.640
Period. Like put a stamp on it. I don't think I could have said that better myself, kid.
00:49:29.680
Well, thank you. I mean, I probably could have, but I was just saying that.
00:49:33.220
I know. No, I don't think I could have. When you were saying that, I'm like, yeah,
00:49:39.660
that's like bingo. That's exactly right. The only thing I would add is what could that actually look
00:49:45.940
like? Yeah. What, what, how do you connect to that and figure that out? Yeah. But maybe even
00:49:52.580
your financial, I mean, one, one thought really quick is your wife's killing it financially.
00:49:58.880
You might be in a position to do something that a lot of guys can't do.
00:50:02.780
You know, a lot of us are wrapped up into the financial side of things, making ends meet,
00:50:09.520
and we can't go after the other thing. Well, maybe you can due to that financial benefit that you
00:50:16.160
have. So what, what would be the other thing? Well, back to your question. What are the other
00:50:21.900
things? I've heard you say this, but I think it's the things that light you up. So me personally,
00:50:28.380
find a problem, something that pisses you off or gets you super excited and find a problem and make
00:50:35.320
it yours, whatever that is. So if you get fired up by homelessness, you get fired by child abuse,
00:50:41.680
you get fired up by whatever social thing that's, that's happening in the world,
00:50:46.780
take it by the horns and make it your problem. That's a good place to start.
00:50:53.220
Totally agree. I mean, for me personally, the things that would come to mind would be,
00:50:57.420
man, what if I could just like pour fully into coaching youth sports for boys, for boys specific,
00:51:04.660
for me, I'm not saying this needs to be for you, but for me, like, what if I could pour fully into
00:51:09.680
coaching youth sports for young men and not only teach them sports, but teach them all the life
00:51:15.120
lessons they need to know through the basketball court or the football field or the baseball diamond.
00:51:20.620
And like, what if I could do that? What if I was free to do that? Man, you're free to do that.
00:51:28.120
Your wife's crushing. Now, look, you need to get her buy-in, right? Cause she's,
00:51:31.720
she's an integral part of this, obviously financially, but you're wrapping up your identity
00:51:37.980
into income. And I do too, like my, because my, guess what? My wife doesn't work outside of the
00:51:44.500
home. So she literally has zero income coming in. So with our dynamic, it's, it's my dynamic. It's
00:51:53.340
not yours. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. With our dynamic, I pull in 100% of the income.
00:52:00.820
Kip, you probably pull in, if I had to guess, maybe what, like 70 to 90% of the income.
00:52:06.600
Yeah. And that's your dynamic and it's not wrong or right. That's just what your dynamic is. And so
00:52:13.560
I pull a hundred percent, but if she's pulling an 80 to 90, okay, well, what are you going to do with
00:52:19.060
the 20? Well, you got to decide. And then you got to get her on board. You got to sell that to her
00:52:22.820
because she's an integral part of this. Just like if my wife says, Hey, here's what I want to do.
00:52:28.600
I want to, her big thing right now is pigs. And she's like, I want to get by a couple of pigs. I'm
00:52:33.200
like, cool. You need to sell me on that because I'm the one that's got to pay for it. Yeah. I'm
00:52:38.700
the one that has to pay for feed and all this stuff. Now you have time invested. Sure. But I
00:52:43.520
got to pay financially. There's, there's an investment on my part. So you got to sell me
00:52:47.960
on that. And she will, and she'll, you know, tell me for whatever reason. And I'm like, okay,
00:52:52.360
cool. That makes sense. Or hon, I don't think this is the right time. And I have said that for the last
00:52:56.040
couple of years, like, no, like let's get our feet under us. And then we can talk about it.
00:53:01.060
And now she's like, no, I really want to do this. Okay. Well, like sell me on it. Well,
00:53:05.200
you might need to explain to her why this is the thing that you need to do. And you're
00:53:09.300
a team. And that is the interesting thing about team. So here's a conversation I've had
00:53:13.980
with my wife is occasionally all, and I just said it actually, it's like, well, it's my
00:53:19.040
money. Is it, is it? Because if I remember correctly, 18 years ago, I
00:53:31.060
said, we are now one. So is it my money? No, actually, no, it's ours. Yeah. And when
00:53:43.900
she says, well, these are my bees, are they your bees? Are they, or are they ours? Right.
00:53:51.020
And so I fall into it of like, well, and I tease and I, and sometimes I take it too
00:53:56.080
far, but I do tease it. I'm like, well, like you can do whatever you want, but just
00:54:00.220
remember my, it's my income. It's paying for that. I'm like, okay, I'm teasing her
00:54:03.820
about it. Okay. But like, it's not my income. It's ours. Well, and then other guys, the
00:54:10.120
mass fear guys will say, well, how come it's hers? Because I already agreed. I'm a man of my
00:54:15.860
word. I already said, well, and we identified who's doing what. And so part of what she does
00:54:23.700
allows me the freedom and time to go to the office and focus on bringing income in. I can't
00:54:30.940
do that. If she's not at home watching kids, like that's impossible, right? Like my, my
00:54:37.060
morning was crazy because she's actually out of town. I'm getting kids ready. You know what
00:54:40.260
I mean? So part of my success, a great deal of my success is a result of her doing her
00:54:46.520
part, right? Just like Trish is really getting great at, or is great at gardening. Why? Because
00:54:53.700
your role helps support her in doing that. Just like what she does help support you in your
00:54:59.140
podcast. Like, I, me and Asia do this all the time because we're kind of competitive by
00:55:03.920
default, which is not probably really healthy for our relationship.
00:55:07.540
Actually, it probably is. It's probably a good thing for your relationship.
00:55:11.560
And that pendulum swing sometimes, right? And she's just, and she'll kind of get attached
00:55:15.840
like, well, how am I financially versus, am I, babe, us, this is our game, right? This
00:55:22.380
is not mine. This is not yours. This is ours. Now, once I get a new truck, that will definitely
00:55:28.080
be mine. But, but other than that, everything else, cute, cute kid.
00:55:33.700
Let me, let me say it this way. All right. Let's put it this way.
00:55:37.820
I'm just going to use some arbitrary numbers, but I think it'll help with the math.
00:55:42.340
Again, numbers, you guys will get the point. Let's say your wife makes $100,000
00:55:46.760
and you make 10 a year and you make 10,000 a year doing whatever it is you do.
00:55:56.240
That's $110,000 a year. Okay. Now let's look at this. Let's say that you said to your wife,
00:56:03.200
hey, hon, you know, I really only want you working 50% of the time so I could work twice
00:56:09.700
as much. So now she makes $50,000 and you make $20,000.
00:56:15.480
So you went from $110,000 to, if my math serves me correctly, $70,000. You almost cut your pay in
00:56:26.440
half because your stupid ego got in the way. Yeah. Boy.
00:56:31.980
Now, on the other hand, he said, hey, hon, like you're better at this.
00:56:38.260
Yeah. Or you're in a career or an industry that has a way higher probability of bringing in better
00:56:47.700
Right. So here's what I'm going to do. And I don't think that I really don't think that men
00:56:54.860
should stay home with their kids exclusively. Like I actually really don't think that's a good
00:57:00.100
scenario because we suck at it because we suck at it. And I mean, anecdotally, it's just horrible.
00:57:08.460
You know, I love my kids. My kids are begging for mom to get home.
00:57:12.060
Yeah. So you'll need to go out and find something in addition to, but let's not let our ego get in
00:57:20.360
the way because if you can either collectively make $110,000 together, I'm actually kind of
00:57:26.120
thinking through this as I'm talking about it, but you can make $110,000 together or you can make
00:57:31.120
$70,000 together. Well, cool. I choose $110,000 because that's an extra $40,000. That's almost,
00:57:39.340
what is that? Like $3,500 a year, maybe $3,300 a year that I'm like, oh, or excuse me, a month.
00:57:47.200
That like, that's a $3,300. Cool. Like go buy three rental properties with $3,300 a month.
00:57:57.160
Yeah. And now you turn that into, in this market,
00:58:01.200
$7,000, $9,000. And you're managing those now and now you got your thing.
00:58:04.260
Yeah. Come on now. Come on now. Like let's get our ego out of the way. All right. Let's take one more.
00:58:09.320
Okay. Um, Matthew Estes, how does a father balance a career where he's gone from home half the month
00:58:18.200
every month? Um, it is, is it worth it to find a more simple job where he can be home every day
00:58:24.640
or continue his dream job and be gone half the time? So he threw in that dream job in there. So
00:58:31.020
I would, didn't expect that that was a curve ball. Yeah. Cause usually what, without dream job,
00:58:36.820
you're like, you know, priorities, but now it's a dream job. Yeah. That's a curve ball. Cause usually
00:58:42.580
what, and, and okay, here's what I'm going to say here. I'm going to challenge you. Is it really
00:58:47.640
or is it comfortable? And it's what, you know? Yeah. So like, I don't know. I don't know.
00:58:54.900
We'll take it at face value, but I want you to ask that question. Are you just saying dream job
00:58:59.240
because you're making good money? Okay. Like I need you to ask that question, but let's take it at
00:59:04.200
face value that it is your dream job. Um, our motto is protect, provide, preside.
00:59:12.740
Right. Like we've, we've been very clear about that for over seven years now.
00:59:23.420
And if you look at each one of those components, protect, provide, and preside, which is synonymous
00:59:31.020
with leadership, there is an element of sacrifice and all of those things.
00:59:41.100
And you think, and I thought, and Kip, I know you have, and a lot of men listening to this
00:59:47.100
is think that we, we get to have our cake and eat it too. And you don't, you don't remind myself
00:59:55.780
constantly that like, there's a price always a price. There is a price. And I'm not going to tell
01:00:03.440
you whether or not you should pay that price. That isn't my job. You are the patriarch. You are the
01:00:10.920
man. It is your job to determine whether or not that price is something you're willing to pay.
01:00:18.900
And for me, so I'm just going to tell you what I would feel. Let's just hypothetically say I was
01:00:24.320
making $200,000 a year in my dream job. And I decided because I made the decision to bring kids
01:00:36.100
into the world. I did make that decision. Contrary to popular belief, we all know how kids come into
01:00:41.640
the world. I made that decision. Well, we don't need to do graphic, but I made that decision.
01:00:48.360
And whether or not I realized the cost of that decision, I still made it.
01:01:01.460
And so maybe that means that I'm going to need to sacrifice my dream job of $200,000 a year and take
01:01:09.940
$100,000 a year. And my dream has changed. My priorities have changed. But there's also
01:01:18.580
circumstances once your wife says, this goes to the last question where your wife is like,
01:01:23.200
no, like, I think you should pursue that dream. We're making plenty of income over here,
01:01:27.860
but she's part of the deal. It's now a package deal. Do you remember that when you were kids,
01:01:32.940
like when you were playing soccer or like dodgeball or, you know, red Rover on, on, on the, on the
01:01:41.600
playground during recess and you had your best friend and you're like, well, if you choose me,
01:01:47.800
you choose him. We're a package deal. You remember that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you want to be on the
01:01:54.420
same team. Doesn't matter because you're a package deal. It ain't you or them. No, you, you, at some
01:02:03.960
point, because you married her said, no, we're a package deal. Yeah. And so that means that, look,
01:02:11.320
if I'm on the, if I'm on at recess and I'm like, nope, me and Kip, we're buddies, we're package deal.
01:02:16.160
You pick me, then you get Kip. If you don't pick us, then you don't get either of us. And you know
01:02:23.160
what? That might play to our favor in some instances, and it might not play to our favor
01:02:28.260
in some instances, but that none of that matters. Cause I already decided we're a package deal.
01:02:33.580
Like you get me, you get him, you get him, you get me package deal. No questions asked.
01:02:40.360
And at this stage in your life, you know, if somebody said to me, Hey Ryan, you could choose
01:02:45.360
order a man or my wife, easy decision, easy all day long. I'll make that decision for order of man.
01:02:51.800
I'm just, that's a joke for my wife. Okay. All day long. No questions asked. We're a package deal.
01:03:00.640
This is what I bring into the equation. This is what she brings and it works. But if any instance
01:03:04.860
came and said, Hey, you need to choose this or your wife. I already made that decision. I made that
01:03:11.280
decision almost two decades ago. I don't know questions. There's no thought about it. I already
01:03:15.680
thought about it. It's already inked into the deal. So ask yourself if you really committed to
01:03:24.860
your wife and your family, or did you just commit based on some contingencies?
01:03:32.120
So I wrote this book that's coming out later this fall and they paid me up front. They paid me a
01:03:41.080
signing bonus, which was, which was nice and hefty. And that feels really good. They believe in me.
01:03:48.280
And then they're going to pay me a little bit more based on the sell, the books that I sell.
01:03:53.560
And they, and they said to me, Hey Ryan, we're going to ink this into your contract. And if you sell
01:03:58.520
X, Y, Z amount of books, then we're going to pay you a little bit more. And if you sell this many
01:04:03.320
books, we'll pay you this much more. These are all contingencies. And I like those contingencies
01:04:07.860
because there's no downside potential. There's only upside potential, but in your marriage, those
01:04:15.400
there's no contingency. Yeah. Like, could, could you imagine say like a, a, a, a pastor saying, Hey,
01:04:25.160
um, you know, Ryan, Patrick Mickler and Tricia and Mickler, you're, you know, joined together in holy
01:04:33.660
matrimony, unless a hotter babe comes along and then that's cool. Yeah. That's not what they say.
01:04:41.640
That's all in all in a hundred percent. Yeah. So what are you in for? Are you in for your dreams?
01:04:48.860
Are you in for her? And is she your dream? My wife's my dream, man. I come home. I came,
01:04:54.400
I came home today. We have a, you know, kit, cause you've been out to our place several times.
01:04:58.600
And there's this inside of a barn. That's the door. I come in. I walked through our barn every
01:05:02.520
day. And then I, there's this window and this window is a mudroom. And then beyond that window
01:05:07.220
or beyond that mudroom is the laundry room. And I, I, I got into that window and I didn't open the
01:05:15.500
door cause the mudroom door was open and my wife was in there doing laundry and I was just staring
01:05:20.460
at her for a minute. Creep. I totally. And I just watched her for a minute and I knocked on the
01:05:28.800
door. So I, I, you know, I got her attention and she like bent over the laundry machine, like doing
01:05:34.260
laundry, but also being sexual, which was like, she doing my laundry, but she's always doing being
01:05:38.820
sexual. Like this is amazing. And that's my dream, bro. Like she's my dream and my kids are my dream
01:05:51.680
and the job supports it. Dream. Yeah. That's it. So I'm getting a little emotional here. If,
01:06:03.920
if the job needs to change for the dream to be realized, then so be it. But you Kip are not my
01:06:12.960
dream. My dream is her and my kids and I'll do whatever I need to do to ensure that I get the
01:06:22.780
dream and walking into my barn and seeing my wife and her teasing me and playing with me or playing
01:06:29.200
with the kids or outside doing her garden, bro. That's my dream. That that's my dream. Everything
01:06:35.640
else supports it. Period. That's all I got, man. Excellent. All right, gentlemen,
01:06:49.040
connect with us online, facebook.com slash group slash order of man. And of course,
01:06:55.660
learn about the iron council. We'll be opening that back up probably later this month. So stay
01:07:01.900
tuned, stay connected, sign up for a newsletter to get notified appropriately, order of man.com
01:07:06.880
slash iron council. And of course, connect with Mickler on Insta and Twitter at Ryan Mickler.
01:07:13.920
And just a reminder on the uncaged man, uncaged event this weekend, that's manuncaged.com
01:07:22.260
or for the live event for streaming. That's manuncaged.com slash live.
01:07:28.620
That's it, man. Still a little emotionally thinking about that.
01:07:39.460
Figure out what your dream is, like what your real dream is. Dream job is like part of the equation.
01:07:45.520
And I'm not going to tell you that following a dream job isn't your dream. I don't know what your
01:07:50.440
dream is. I just know what mine is. And I know what I can get myself distracted with.
01:07:56.240
And I get myself distracted with work. I think most, a lot of us as men do, I can distract myself.
01:08:02.900
Yeah, it's easy. It's, um, it's simple. Maybe it's not easy. Our work is hard, right? But it's
01:08:08.960
simple. It's like I can measure performance. I can measure income. I can measure getting out of debt.
01:08:14.940
Like you can measure all these things, but how do I measure, you know, my wife shaking her ass at me
01:08:21.200
when I'm peeking through the door as a creeper, you know, how do I measure the connection I have
01:08:28.840
with my children? I don't, I don't know how to do that. I wish I could tell you it's this formula.
01:08:33.820
I wish it'd be so much easier, so much simpler. It just doesn't work like that, man. So
01:08:41.020
lots of things to think about for myself today. All right, guys. Well, I appreciate you. Uh,
01:08:47.540
we'll be back on Friday. I'm going to talk about homeschooling on Friday. Cause that's an important
01:08:51.220
topic. Uh, and, uh, until then go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
01:08:57.820
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
01:09:02.440
and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at quarter of man.com.