Order of Man - What is Bravery, Can Ego be Positive, and How to Deal with a Bad Boss

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.500 Mr. Kip Sorensen, what's up, man?

00:00:27.280 Not much. AMA 16. We're doing good. We're on a roll.

00:00:34.040 I think we're actually going to catch up today based on how many questions we have.

00:00:38.060 Yeah. As long as we don't rat hole on these curb brim hat questions, we should be okay.

00:00:42.640 Right. Which we just released the curb brim hat and to my, how shall I say?

00:00:50.260 Well, I just didn't, frankly, I just didn't think they'd do as good as they did.

00:00:52.820 They blew up. They did really, really well.

00:00:55.200 I'm still not wearing one. Yeah. They did awesome. They did really well.

00:01:00.120 Of course, we had, of course, yeah.

00:01:02.020 Bubba's going to have to file chapter 13 for spending all that money on hats, but yeah.

00:01:07.100 That's right. We, yeah. He bought all of them.

00:01:10.360 Yeah. You know, for all the grief I give the guys, like they did very, very well.

00:01:14.700 We did four, four color variations.

00:01:16.940 We sold out of two of them and we almost sold out of the third. And then the last color iteration,

00:01:25.220 we've sold, you know, like 25% of our stock. So they did good. We got, I had to hurry and order

00:01:31.720 more because I didn't think we'd sell that many. So we've got a rush order on more. So we'll see if

00:01:35.500 we can get those pretty quickly for the guys. That's great. It's good, man. I'll be honest.

00:01:40.160 When I, when I saw those hats, um, they're not bad. They're, they're good looking. They're good.

00:01:44.300 I'd wear those for sure. Yeah. Working outside maybe in mowing the lawn. I'd wear them. That's

00:01:49.240 right. Well, Hey, let's just jump right into this guys. If you're listening in for the first time,

00:01:53.420 or you're relatively new to the podcast, this is our ask me anything. Kip Sorensen and I are

00:01:58.020 discussing questions from the Patreon page, which is order of medicine. I say that every week it's

00:02:04.440 Patreon P A T R E O N.com slash order of man, not backslash, just a slash and just a slash

00:02:11.840 and where else? Iron council, our exclusive brotherhood, 450 members strong. Now over there,

00:02:17.900 uh, we've got questions from there. And then, um, the last set of questions is from members of

00:02:23.480 the Facebook group. So those are, we're getting new questions from. So let's just

00:02:27.800 dive right into it. I don't want to take 15 minutes before we get into a question.

00:02:32.120 That'll be a little odd if we don't talk about something else beforehand, but I'm okay.

00:02:36.100 What else is there to talk about, man? We, we got plenty of stuff to go through today.

00:02:40.500 Yeah. Well, these guys have some great questions. Yeah, they do. So let's, uh,

00:02:43.880 first question from Patreon member, uh, Joe Grace, Gracie Alney. That's a tough one.

00:02:50.000 If you could help men improve. Yeah. If you could help men improve in one main way across the U S,

00:02:56.100 which is the most important or needs the most work in your opinion? How about order of man?

00:03:01.700 What is one area you want to see different in before 2019? Thanks fellas.

00:03:07.220 So I would say one area in which men can improve across the U S or wherever it doesn't even matter.

00:03:11.960 The U S is handle your business, handle your business. And what I mean by that is take care of

00:03:17.400 numero uno, take care of yourself first and foremost, you got to take care of yourself.

00:03:21.280 And I, and I'm not suggesting that you need to take care of yourself at the expense of your other

00:03:25.080 obligations. Okay. That's not what I'm saying. But what I am saying is that you have to figure

00:03:29.100 out a way to take care of your mind, your body, and your soul. And if you can't do that for any

00:03:33.500 sustained period of time in any meaningful way, uh, you're going to, you're going to run out of

00:03:37.780 energy. You're going to burn out. You're going to crash and burn for the other people that you have

00:03:41.000 an obligation to protect, provide, and preside for and with. So you're going to burn out on your

00:03:45.700 family. You're going to burn out at work. You're going to burn out on your clients. And trust me,

00:03:48.580 I've been there. I've burned out on those things because I haven't figured out a way to bring my

00:03:52.960 own energy into the equation. So number one, handle your business, take care of your mind,

00:03:58.060 read, uh, have interesting discussions with people who uplift you, gain new information,

00:04:04.140 go to conferences. That's, that's what the mindset, uh, with your body exercise, nutrition,

00:04:09.660 working out, pushing yourself physically, eating the right things, going to bed, getting sleep.

00:04:13.960 Uh, and then your soul is your spiritual component, right? So if you happen to be religious,

00:04:19.480 maybe that's a religion, or if it's just spirituality in general and connecting with a

00:04:22.900 higher power for some sense of purpose and direction, uh, that's number one. Then what

00:04:28.160 we do is we work out from there. Cause I think what most people, what most guys I think want to do is

00:04:33.800 they want to solve the world's biggest problems. And yet they can't even take out the trash in their

00:04:40.280 house or they can't even make their bed in the morning, or they can't even get up and go work

00:04:44.880 out for half an hour in the morning. And they're wanting to solve the most complex world problems

00:04:48.920 that we have ever faced in the history of man. It's like, you're not going to be able to do that.

00:04:54.000 So handle your business first, then move out from there. So what does that look like? Well,

00:04:58.060 that means handle the business or the relationship you have with your wife means handle the relationship

00:05:02.860 with, you have your kids means getting to work on time or early and maximizing your day there

00:05:08.240 and handling business with clients and then handling business with maybe you're doing some

00:05:12.820 coaching, or maybe there's some ecclesiastical services or, uh, responsibilities that you have

00:05:17.500 handle that. And then you move out from there into some other greater, grander mission. So

00:05:20.760 we constantly move out based on our capacity to do so. We don't work outward out outside in.

00:05:29.180 So what is the one area we can all improve handle ourselves better, take care of ourselves better.

00:05:34.080 Hmm. So powerful. Tyler used to be on echo. He stepped down from the iron council for a period

00:05:42.400 of time and I just got a message from him today. And, and to your point, Ryan, he said, I'm paraphrasing

00:05:50.700 here that I need to get back into the iron council because I'm not establishing boundaries and putting

00:05:57.620 myself first in these areas. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And he's realizing that he's, he's not progressing

00:06:03.600 personally and it's, and because of that lack of progression personally, it's affecting those other

00:06:09.500 areas where he's serving other people. Right. Right. And, and he's like, Hey, I need iron council back.

00:06:14.360 So he just joined and, uh, get back on the path. So it's awesome. Perfect example of that. Yeah.

00:06:20.140 Take care of yourself. The rest will begin to fall in line and move outwards. Too many guys

00:06:24.240 are shirking responsibility, shirking the, the, the, the roles and the obligations they have. And,

00:06:29.020 and they're coming up with all kinds of excuses as to why that is take care of yourself and then move

00:06:33.560 out from there. Ryan, would you say that sometimes, um, there's there, this is met with some resistance

00:06:41.960 when, when guys make themselves a priority where those in their lives may resist at first, this kind

00:06:49.080 of adjustment and, and then, you know, not being yes, man, and Mr. Nice guys and constantly serving

00:06:55.380 everyone else, not taking care of themselves. I really like this question, Kip, because I think

00:07:00.980 this is one of the greatest barriers to taking care of ourselves. We tell ourselves that it's selfish

00:07:07.940 and you know what, maybe it is. So what, what's, what's wrong with being selfish? What's wrong with

00:07:14.860 worrying about yourself now and then? Now, look again, I already gave the disclaimer. This is not

00:07:19.280 at the expense of your other obligations. It's actually designed to enhance your performance in

00:07:23.960 other areas. But if you can't be a little bit selfish with your time and my wife and I were

00:07:28.820 actually having this conversation just the other day, she said, you know, I, I don't feel bad when

00:07:33.580 I want to go out and spend time with my girlfriends or I want to participate in a little activity or

00:07:37.700 something that I enjoy. And I said, I don't, I don't feel bad either. I don't feel guilty. I don't feel

00:07:42.260 bad. Like I should be around. I feel like this is part of life and I need to do this for me and you

00:07:46.600 need to do it for you. And we're going to come back better into the relationship and into being

00:07:49.740 able to lead our kids more effectively. So this, this, this selfish idea and this level of guilt

00:07:56.020 is actually what keeps a lot of guys from taking care of themselves. And what they'll do is they'll

00:08:02.560 give these noble obstacles like, well, I really want to work out, but I, I, I got to be there for my

00:08:08.020 kids. So, so do I, so do the other millions of other men who have to take care of their kids in

00:08:17.220 the morning, like figure out a way to make it work. I'm not saying the way I do it is going to work

00:08:21.140 perfectly for you, but you can, you don't have to choose one or the other yourself or your kids.

00:08:25.640 This isn't an either or type conversation. It's, it's everything. It's both. You can make all sorts

00:08:31.160 of decisions and all of them can be good decisions for you. So be very, very cautious of making excuses

00:08:37.760 as to why you're not doing the things you need, no, you need to be doing for yourself.

00:08:42.660 Yeah. Cool. Next quest, Bubba Downs. How many tears have you cried with the recent success of

00:08:50.820 the curb brim hats? I'm going to let guys in on a little secret here. All the tears I've cried have

00:08:56.160 been tears of joy. Now I like a flat brim hat. Other guys like a curb brim hat. I've put myself in

00:09:05.060 a position where I win either way. I don't care if, if getting everybody fired up and riled up

00:09:12.580 about flat brim and curb brim hats helps me sell more hats than I win. And it doesn't matter if

00:09:16.860 you buy a curb blim, a flat brim, a no brim, a whatever I win. So the tears capitalism, that's

00:09:24.100 right. The tears that I have cried have been tears of joy over this Thanksgiving black Friday,

00:09:30.180 Cyber Monday weekend. But on that note, guys, I really do appreciate the support. I don't care

00:09:35.500 if you buy a curb brim or a flat brim. I don't think one makes you more manly than the other.

00:09:40.620 Although I, I think you ought to wear a flat brim, but whatever, you know, it's like, wear what you

00:09:45.720 want and buy it from us. Yeah. Well, and, and Bubba's on a whole new level. His hat's not even a

00:09:53.420 curb brim hat. His hat is more like a V almost like, it's like, like a horseshoe circle. It's a

00:10:00.100 circle. He wears a circle on his brim. Everything is taken to the extreme. You know, somebody always

00:10:07.320 takes it to the extreme. And I think the answer probably lies somewhere in between. Yeah. Just

00:10:12.520 don't abuse your kid, Bubba, and make him wear that hat. That's, that's unfair. Yeah, that is unfair.

00:10:16.800 It's cruel and unusual punishment. What else? Yeah. Ryan, Jekyll, bravery comes in many forms

00:10:24.960 and is very subjective. To some, it's something like serving your country and to others, it's

00:10:29.980 just standing up to someone who's being rude for an example. How would you guys define bravery in

00:10:35.500 your opinion? Hmm. I haven't thought much about this, but what I would describe bravery as, as doing,

00:10:43.160 let me think about this here for a second, doing the work required, regardless of the outcome or

00:10:53.660 sacrifice. I would give that as a rough, a rough definition of bravery, doing the work required to

00:11:01.660 produce a favorable result, regardless of the sacrifice or the effort required. I think that's

00:11:11.380 how I would define that. How would you define it? You know, I was tempted to look up Webster's

00:11:18.500 definition, but I think for me, yeah, I think bravery is aligning your actions to principles,

00:11:26.240 regardless of the outcome. Uh, very similar. I think bravery is, is doing what's necessary,

00:11:31.740 regardless of whether it will be praised or accepted by other people and, and, and have an

00:11:39.020 integrity, right. In regards to your values and the principles in which you want to live.

00:11:43.200 Well, so, okay, let me ask you this then let's take a terrorist, for example, a terrorist that wants

00:11:49.260 to kill thousands of innocent people. Is he exhibiting bravery when he drives a suicide bomb into a crowd of

00:12:01.420 innocent civilians? I believe that bravery is exclusive of right and wrong. So is it possible

00:12:10.000 for them to be brave? But that's subjective. Uh, but it doesn't, Oh, you're saying that it's outside

00:12:15.600 of right or wrong. It has nothing to do with morality is what you're saying. Correct. I lean that way too.

00:12:21.180 Yeah. I lean that way too. And so bravery then we ought to say is not the, not the only qualifier

00:12:31.060 or the exclusive qualifier of, of manly behavior. Right. Yeah. Right. It's an interesting

00:12:39.700 philosophical question. I've, I've really, I've really started to study a little bit of philosophy

00:12:44.220 in the Socratic method and questioning what we believe to be true. And so it's, it's a really

00:12:50.100 interesting thought when you think about the terrorist who I think the majority of people

00:12:55.960 on this planet would say is an evil, evil human being. And yet that individual could potentially

00:13:00.900 be exhibiting bravery, which is a really interesting and almost really cringe worthy, hard thing to say.

00:13:08.940 Yeah. Yeah. Well, and, and to your point of, of studying philosophy, but there's huge power

00:13:15.800 in us understanding that, that, I don't know. And I, and I'm hesitant to say this, but

00:13:21.940 our definition of right and wrong is, is our perception of right and wrong. Right. Right.

00:13:27.480 Because that terrorist could also believe that what he's doing is right. Totally. Totally.

00:13:33.900 Interesting. Something to, something to chew on a little bit. Anyways, that's, that's how I would

00:13:37.680 define it. Sounds like you and I Kip are on a very similar pages when it comes to how we define that.

00:13:42.340 Yeah. For sure. Well, and, and, and to the point that we're making is you could be brave and be

00:13:48.080 doing something really stupid. Yeah. You could be dumb. Yeah, exactly. Great. Yeah. Bravery in and

00:13:52.480 of itself is not, I mean, there's bravery and then there's maybe stupidity and maybe you can be both at

00:13:57.000 the same time. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Cool. What else? Good question. I like that one.

00:14:01.480 Interesting. Yeah. Uh, Mark Dale, what is your opinion on toxic single mothers being more of a

00:14:08.160 detriment to the child upbringing than an absent fathers? Do you believe this is to be true?

00:14:14.140 You know, I, I kind of think this is a little bit like keeping score. Like, well, she hurt our kids

00:14:18.660 more than I did. It's like, eh, I mean, is one worse than the other? I don't know. I think both are bad.

00:14:24.900 I mean, look, if a kid lives with, and is in a toxic negative environment, I think that's probably

00:14:30.360 significantly worse than having an absent parent or a father figure in their life.

00:14:38.120 But I don't really understand why it matters. Like they're both bad. Like you, like you,

00:14:46.000 kids need to have a father available and present and they need to have, whether that's a mother or

00:14:51.020 father raising them by their, by themselves needs to be a positive, encouraging, uplifting,

00:14:55.700 supportive role in that child's life. So it's like, I guess I really don't understand why we're

00:15:01.080 trying to like figure out, well, which one's worse? And can I get away with it? And I'm not suggesting

00:15:05.360 that's what Mark's saying. I just think they're both bad and we should strive to keep ourselves from,

00:15:13.300 um, allowing our children to get into either one of those situations. Now I will say with regards to

00:15:19.760 single mothers, I hear a lot of guys who are like, Oh, my wife's, my ex-wife's a bitch and she's mean

00:15:24.020 and she's this and she's that. And look, all of that might be true. I'm not going to downplay that.

00:15:27.280 Like I, I know some, I know personally of some situations where I would say absolutely that's

00:15:32.000 a hundred percent correct. But I also know of men who even in those circumstances attempt to make

00:15:38.460 the best of it, not for the woman, because they could care less about that individual, but for the

00:15:43.600 kids, they still have an obligation to lead to some capacity. So you can be bitter and

00:15:49.420 resentful and an a-hole and there could be a lot of animosity and contention in among your

00:15:53.680 relationship. And there might be that anyways, or you could be an individual who really tries to step

00:16:00.440 up, uh, really tries to make the best of a horrible, horrible and tragic situation really tries to be

00:16:06.400 cordial with the mother of your children so that you can be the type of influence that your kid needs

00:16:13.800 to be. And look, sometimes that's going to require you to suck it up and to, and to hold your tongue

00:16:19.140 even at times and just attempt to be nice in a situation where you want to be anything but that.

00:16:26.980 But that's the sacrifice we make for the obligation of raising our children.

00:16:31.360 Totally. And, and from the space of taking ownership, what's, what's probably the number

00:16:37.420 one contributing factor to a toxic single mother, an absent father, right? Like there's probably some

00:16:45.440 animosity, right? From a lot of single moms because of the way the fathers were. Yeah. And I totally

00:16:51.920 agree with you. Like both are equally as toxic. They're both very toxic, right? But we also need

00:16:59.200 to own and play the part that, you know, maybe these single moms have such a bad opinion about men is

00:17:05.580 because of the men in their lives weren't leveled up, that they're poor examples of what it means to be

00:17:12.700 a father. And then what, how do they raise their son? Oh man. Or are, you know, negative about men,

00:17:19.080 men, men. And these boys end up being raised in a way that they're almost shamed into being males.

00:17:25.540 Yeah. I mean, it's, it's very negative, but you know, we, there's a part that we can own to it.

00:17:30.300 Own. Right. And we should, you know, if you, if you have the desire to be in your child's life,

00:17:35.360 which I hope, I hope that's the case, then those are the things that you're going to have to do.

00:17:39.280 And you're going to recognize that there is some level of ownership that you can take

00:17:42.900 and potentially improve what is an otherwise tragic situation and circumstance.

00:17:48.900 Yeah. Opportunity, right? Oh, for sure. Really important opportunity to step up.

00:17:53.040 Yeah. Cool. What else? Okay. Chris Dalton, what big goals are each of you working on?

00:17:59.020 How far along are you in reaching this? And what timelines have you set to accomplish this?

00:18:03.740 So it's a good question. It is a good question. Um, Kip, you and I,

00:18:08.280 and most of the guys in the iron council work off of our 12 week battle plans. So we're coming up on

00:18:13.460 those things. Uh, but these are objectives that we create over a 12 week period, hence the name.

00:18:19.180 Uh, and then we create checkpoints along the way and we're tracking and scoring our results to make

00:18:23.020 sure that we're actually in line with these things. So some of the things that I'm actually working on

00:18:27.580 right now is working on and towards running a marathon, uh, getting my, uh, finances in order,

00:18:34.800 because we might be making a move in the first or early second quarter of next year. Uh, I've picked

00:18:41.280 up a new hobby in the, as, uh, as of like two months ago with the guitar. So I've been working

00:18:46.640 a lot on that. And then I just finished up with, um, my big portion of my hunting season. So I'm now

00:18:54.820 moving into, okay, how do we train? How do we develop this and get better at this hunting game,

00:19:01.780 if you will. So those are some of the things that I'm personally working on now.

00:19:05.360 And your checkpoint for the guitar at 60 days is seeing the dance here on the podcast.

00:19:11.320 Uh, no, that's not accurate, but I am going to, I am going to recite some things for my family

00:19:18.060 and we're getting to that point. And then we'll see where it goes from there.

00:19:21.980 We'll leave it up to your wife to post that online so we can share.

00:19:25.000 Yeah. She's, she's been known to post some incriminating video of me performing musical

00:19:31.580 skits. Yeah. What are you working on, man? Uh, so I just pulled up my battle plan cause I'm like,

00:19:38.120 okay, you know, what's, let's be specific. So the four, uh, objectives that I've set forth

00:19:46.360 is strengthening my spiritualness and self-discipline. How do you, can I ask one thing on that Kip?

00:19:52.400 Yeah. Cause I think that's, um, a lot of guys would have things like that,

00:19:56.500 but the challenge with that is how do you measure, how do you measure that? How do you measure? Oh,

00:20:01.320 I'm, I'm, I'm stronger spiritually. Well, how do you know?

00:20:04.960 Yeah. I, well, I think it's a self-assessment, right? In regards to how do I feel like my relationship

00:20:13.300 is, uh, with my God? How do I feel during prayers? Am I better connected? Um, you know,

00:20:20.880 on the Sabbath, like I think there's a kind of a, an array of things that I'd use as kind of a pulse

00:20:25.920 in regards to knowing if I'm becoming more spiritual. The other aspect of that is feedback

00:20:30.700 from my family. Uh, without a doubt, I could easily go to my wife and say, Hey, do you think

00:20:35.680 my spiritualness have been improved? And she would have a strong opinion in regards to if it has or

00:20:39.900 not. Yeah. I like that. Well, and, and, and I like the fact that you have that information or those

00:20:46.020 procedures in place. Cause a lot of guys don't even have that in place. They're just like,

00:20:49.240 I don't know. I just kind of see how I feel versus somebody who says, well, I built in

00:20:53.360 accountability and reflection and some sort of accountability into my life in order to ensure

00:20:58.560 that I'm, that I'm improving in these areas. Yeah. Yeah. When, and it is a soft, it's a soft,

00:21:04.820 right? It's not a number. Sure. Yeah. Per se, but I think there's an evaluation process that could,

00:21:09.200 could help in that area. Yeah. So good. So that's my first, my second is create a better connection

00:21:14.860 with my son, uh, we've been struggling our relationship a little bit of late. And, um,

00:21:21.300 so I have some tactics around me and him connecting in a better way and, and hopefully me providing a

00:21:26.820 little bit more guidance and direction for him and in his life. Yep. Uh, my third is 10% body fat,

00:21:33.480 uh, through diet and exercise and then, um, increasing cashflow and my savings, uh, are my

00:21:42.500 primary focus. Nice. I like it. Yeah. I mean, the point is here that you have a plan. I have a plan.

00:21:48.480 Everybody in the iron council has a plan. That's, that's what you need. You can't, uh, what, what's

00:21:53.160 the, what's the, uh, uh, the quote, what, what gets measured gets improved, right? Totally. You've got

00:21:58.400 to measure it. You've got to track it. You've got to have a plan. If you don't have that in place,

00:22:01.700 nothing is ever going to improve. And even if by some happenstance, it happens to improve,

00:22:05.920 it's not replicatable. You can't continue to do it over and over again because you don't know what

00:22:10.080 you did in the first place. Yeah. So that's why having a plan and a system in place, whatever it

00:22:14.980 is, whether it's a 12 week battle plan in the iron council, or whether it's your own thing or

00:22:18.180 something, somebody else created, and you're using that, it doesn't matter. What matters is that

00:22:22.100 you're using it, that you're implementing it, that you're tracking it on a daily basis, not weekly,

00:22:26.740 not monthly, not quarterly daily basis. And that it's actually producing results for you.

00:22:31.700 Yeah. And Chris, uh, and I think you mentioned this, maybe you didn't mention this, Ryan,

00:22:35.740 but so we do 12 week battle plans. So from a timeline perspective, we, we roughly have five

00:22:41.520 weeks left, uh, to wrap up our 12 weeks. And then come January, the first week in January,

00:22:46.600 we're setting new goals and objectives for the next following 12 weeks. Yep. So that's what it looks

00:22:51.840 like. And then to your point too, Ryan, you know, you're talking about having a plan in place,

00:22:55.760 uh, and in the spirit of throwing out quotes, iron sharpens iron. And so one of the best ways for us

00:23:02.660 to do this is have these plans in place and then do what rub shoulders with other men that are going

00:23:07.480 to hold you accountable that you can have conversations with and work through whatever

00:23:12.000 roadblocks may potentially come up within your plan. So, you know, you guys want to get the

00:23:16.760 effectiveness out of, you know, a 12 week goal or whatever to involve people, enlist people in what

00:23:22.880 you're doing and do it together. And not just anybody together. We got to say that too. Not

00:23:28.000 just anybody. These are other people that are going to be that, well, they're motivated in their

00:23:33.260 own lives and they're accomplishing things and they're going to push you in the way you need

00:23:36.380 to be pushed. So it's not just, Hey, I have this person. No, it's the right people that are actually

00:23:41.480 pushing, propelling and motivating you. Totally. Yeah. If they're not on the same path, if anything,

00:23:46.200 it may even bring you down, not really help you. Yeah, for sure. Cool. Good question, Chris. All right.

00:23:52.260 Uh, Rick Brandon, we're, by the way, we're still on the patron members here. So Rick Brandon. So

00:23:56.640 there's more than just Ryan's mom and Bubba. Yes. There's like five people now. Nice. So Rick,

00:24:04.060 uh, member number five, maybe, or six or four or whatever in regards to earlier topics. Oh boy.

00:24:11.580 Number one, gen one Megatron over all others. Okay. Number two, should we pause and then address each

00:24:20.980 one individually? I don't think it's a question. I think he's just saying like, this is, this is what

00:24:25.100 it is. Like, this is the definitive answer. Oh, he's telling us. Okay. That's what it sounds like

00:24:30.580 to me. Yeah. Rick has met letting it known. Gen one Megatron is superior over all others. I'm assuming

00:24:37.400 number two, curve brim over flat brim. Okay. Better be on a straight and to the front as dad's always

00:24:47.520 said. I don't understand. Oh no, no flat brim off to the side of the head. Okay. Yeah. That I agree

00:24:54.180 with that. No ghetto, no ghetto. I agree with that. Number three, Deadpool is the best anti-hero,

00:24:59.820 even better than the Punisher. I do like Deadpool. And now for my questions. Okay. I see. So he's just

00:25:06.660 letting us know. He's just setting the record straight. All right, here we go. So here's this

00:25:10.700 question. I'm dealing with the fallout from my own past mistakes as a father in that of my two adult

00:25:17.160 daughters are both involved in relationships with men who have felony records. I have voiced my

00:25:22.420 thoughts in as gentle and loving manner as I could manage. One is a recovering addict and the other

00:25:30.520 is, uh, is on the registry. I don't want to alienate my kids, but I want to protect my youngest

00:25:36.900 daughter from bad influences. Any thoughts and suggestions? I'd like Kip's thoughts too, if he wishes

00:25:42.380 to weigh in. This is tough. Like, I don't know how old they are, but you know, if they're old enough,

00:25:47.480 they're out of the house and they're making decisions. Like, what is it that you're going to

00:25:49.840 do? You know, like, are you going to, are you going to ban them from seeing these, these, these guys?

00:25:55.420 Well, no, if anything, I think that's going to create a greater wedge between you and them.

00:26:02.500 So if they're still in the house, I mean, there's got to be some boundaries and things like that.

00:26:05.780 They got to adhere to, you know, be, be here on this time. This is how you're, you know,

00:26:09.100 when you go on dates is what you're going to do. And like, there's got to be some sort of framework

00:26:12.700 and operating systems in which you operate and how you run your household for sure.

00:26:17.680 Uh, but at the end of the day, I mean, you really can't keep somebody from

00:26:21.240 being in love with or wanting to be with somebody else. Like that's, that's really even not even your

00:26:26.880 place. Now, when they get out of the house, you're running into the same thing. Here's,

00:26:32.640 here's what I would suggest is potentially, and I know this is going to be hard for Rick to hear

00:26:37.340 potentially one of these guys could become your son-in-law.

00:26:43.260 And I think that we, as fathers of our daughters and fathers of our sons as well,

00:26:48.300 have an obligation to also be the fathers of the people they choose to spend their lives with.

00:26:55.260 So now you have an opportunity, not only to be a father to your daughters, but to be a father to

00:26:59.540 these men who may never have received that, who may never have received the guidance and the

00:27:03.780 direction and the input in this, in the foundational pillar, the rock that you can be.

00:27:09.380 So yeah, it's, it's not a good situation because they have felony records. One's one's a recovering

00:27:14.080 addict. Um, but you know what, people are going to make their own decisions. And if your daughters

00:27:18.080 are out of the house, I hope they learn. I hope these guys recover. I hope they do what they can.

00:27:21.340 And I feel like it's your obligation to help as much as you can. Uh, these, these young,

00:27:26.640 these young men straighten out their lives so that you can feel confident knowing that they are able

00:27:33.240 to protect, provide, and preside with your, with your daughter. Now that you've given up that role

00:27:37.680 potentially, what would you add? That's tough, man. That's tough. It's, it's super tough. I think

00:27:43.540 your comment about boundaries is applicable, whether they live in the home or out of the home,

00:27:48.060 right? You may need to establish boundaries that, Hey, you know, yes, you can bring your

00:27:53.400 boyfriend over, but I don't want this kind of language being spoken or whatever those boundaries

00:27:59.180 might be, especially if your youngest daughter's around, because you need to protect her without a

00:28:03.720 doubt. Um, but as parents, I, I really do believe that one of the most important things that we can do

00:28:09.200 as parents is to make sure our kids know that we love them unconditionally. And so one of your tasks

00:28:17.740 in my opinion is to make sure that your daughters, regardless of who they're dating,

00:28:22.900 that they know that their dad loves them and that, that, that you're there to support them.

00:28:29.320 Um, and that's going to be tough because sometimes when you establish certain boundaries or if you

00:28:33.320 have issues with these relationships, it's, you just need to make sure that you reiterate that,

00:28:37.860 that, uh, that those feelings of support and love have not gone away, uh, whether you agree with

00:28:43.300 their decisions or not. I think that's a great point. The other thing I would say to Kip is

00:28:47.540 he says, I think he said something about, um, he's, he's dealing with a fallout from his own past

00:28:52.560 mistakes. Yeah. I mean, I don't know the situation. And so without knowing it, here's the comment I

00:28:57.900 would make. Maybe you're not dealing with the fallout from your own mistakes because they're

00:29:02.140 independent people and independent people make independent decisions. Could it have been influenced

00:29:08.360 by you? Maybe. Could it have been completely unrelated? Sure. Absolutely. Your, your, your

00:29:15.220 daughters are, are, I'm assuming are to the point where they're old enough that they're making their

00:29:18.840 own decisions. And you know, so, so do what you can to rectify any situations or your own past

00:29:25.000 mistakes or shortcomings you may have had. And then you, you in a way have to wash your hands,

00:29:29.260 learn from it and then wash your hands up and say, okay, I've made amends to the best of my ability.

00:29:32.700 And here's how I'm going to behave moving forward and recognize that what you're dealing with in your

00:29:36.960 daughters may not actually be a symptom of anything that you've done in the past. They may be

00:29:42.440 completely unrelated. Yeah. And if you don't mind me adding to that, Ryan, I think it's really

00:29:46.620 important that it's okay for us to learn from our mistakes and we have to be aware of our mistakes to

00:29:52.180 be able to learn from them, but also realize Rick that who you are as an individual is who you are

00:29:58.880 today, how you define yourself today, the man you are today. And, and I honestly believe that we can,

00:30:06.240 we all have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves and be different people if we choose to be.

00:30:11.900 And so don't, don't dread yourself through your past too much. If that's not who you are anymore,

00:30:16.980 you know, and, and come to the realization of the man you are now.

00:30:22.120 Yeah, a hundred percent. I mean, there's a great quote, uh, that I really like, and I'll probably

00:30:27.000 butcher it something to the effect of each night when I go to sleep, I die. Uh, and then the next

00:30:31.580 morning when I wake up, I am reborn. And that's by Gandhi that, that quote to me, I mean, it just

00:30:37.080 really, really stands out as an opportunity to wipe your slate clean. And I wouldn't even say clean

00:30:43.520 because those negative experiences you can actually keep and learn from and use and harness to produce

00:30:48.380 better outcomes moving forward. Totally. But you are each and every, and you don't have to wait till

00:30:53.560 the, till the morning, even right now, after listening to this podcast or on your way to work,

00:30:58.380 or when you're driving home to, to be back with your wife and your kids, like you, you can decide

00:31:04.260 to be a new man right now and, and remake yourself to your point, Kip. Uh, if you just simply by making

00:31:11.740 that decision, how powerful is that? How amazing is that? There's no other animal that can do that.

00:31:16.640 Yeah. Uh, it's pretty incredible.

00:31:18.100 And maybe these boys that are with your daughters need to see that the fact that

00:31:22.820 that's possible. And maybe you're the example that needs to show them that they can also do the same.

00:31:28.160 And that's the point I'm making about fathering. Yeah. You know, it's your, it's, that is your,

00:31:33.440 that though, potentially, I'm not saying like if they become your, your sons-in-law, you, you are

00:31:38.120 their father by title. You are their father. So father them the way they need to be fathered.

00:31:43.080 Yeah. This is tough, Rick, but I'm excited for you because this is an opportunity to

00:31:48.260 seriously like make an impact and it's a challenge. I see it as a challenge. So yeah. Yeah. What else

00:31:56.700 done? Brad Haridan. I hear having an ego can be seen as a negative thing. Isn't having an ego

00:32:04.000 important for self-confidence, initiative, and ambition. Meanwhile, curve brim for the wind. Hashtag

00:32:10.340 cry me a river. Oh man. Let's talk about ego. I think ego is an inflated sense of pride. So I think

00:32:21.180 ego is pride to the extreme. I also believe that ego isn't necessarily earned. It's something that

00:32:27.140 is, that is conjured up in your mind to make you appear and feel better than you actually are.

00:32:32.580 Pride on the other hand is earned. I can be proud of what we've accomplished here with order of man,

00:32:37.640 because it is by all objective measures been relatively successful. That gives me pride

00:32:45.480 knowing that we've been able to create this ego. On the other hand would be, I'm the best

00:32:51.180 podcaster that ever lived in the history of podcasting. That's a sense of pride that is faulty

00:33:00.760 and taken to the extreme. It has no basis in reality, right? Now, the beauty of pride is that

00:33:09.320 it gives you a sense of optimism and hope and knowing that you can continue to get better moving

00:33:16.080 forward. Ego on the other hand, where it's inflated and it's excessive speaks to the, to the,

00:33:24.220 the idea that maybe you have it all figured out, that there is nothing better that you can achieve.

00:33:30.860 And so it doesn't encourage and foster hope and optimism and continued growth and mastery.

00:33:36.140 It fosters stagnation and complacency. And that's why people fall when they're

00:33:44.300 overly egotistical or arrogant. So for me, the distinction is not only the words themselves,

00:33:50.760 but what do they produce? Self-confidence and pride produce a level of initiative and growth

00:33:59.780 and continue to success and ego and arrogance tends to tap or cap people out. That would be the

00:34:09.000 distinction I would make. Very well said. Spot on. Nothing to add to that, man. I love it.

00:34:17.240 Right on. What else? All right. We're cranking through them, man. We're doing good. I know

00:34:21.380 we're doing good. Moving on to the iron council, Christopher bell, Kip, how do you know when to

00:34:28.960 keep going? When you feel like you are doing the right things, you have some traction, you're working

00:34:34.460 on building a new tribe and it feels like months have gone by limited, distant connections happen,

00:34:40.620 but nothing meaningful. I still want you to answer the question first. Oh wait, there's more

00:34:46.200 questions. Hold on. I am personally working on new things with new people, growing a podcast and

00:34:51.300 group, small side hustle, scuba diving business, working on hiking, camping, canoeing with new

00:34:57.300 friends along with my family. Maybe I can come off too strong or like I am doing too much because I

00:35:02.800 don't know how to sit still. When is it too much? There's a lot in here, man. There's a lot in here.

00:35:10.840 Um, well, so you want me to answer and then, and then you answer. Okay. So let's, let's talk about

00:35:16.620 the first one. How do you know when to keep going? You, you always keep going. You just, you just keep

00:35:20.900 going. If you're still finding some sense of purpose in it, if you become indifferent, you got to start

00:35:26.060 questioning that. But if there's still something that's inside you that you feel like I got to keep

00:35:30.500 going, I got to keep driving. And I think the best way to do this is that you measure your success

00:35:37.800 through the process, not the attainment of that objective. Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't

00:35:43.520 achieve certain things. You certainly should, but once you, and this is why the 12 week battle plan

00:35:47.840 is so critical because once you figure out what it is you want, you can, you can forget about that

00:35:54.400 for a minute because you've reverse engineered into what you need to do in order to accomplish that.

00:35:59.720 So now you define success, not by the attainment of the goal, because you don't know how long that

00:36:03.740 will take you define success by completing the activities, the tasks that will inevitably produce

00:36:11.220 that result. So we'll go back to one of the things that you had said, and fitness is such an easy way

00:36:16.580 to measure this because it is so tangible and, and, and you can track it very easily. As you said,

00:36:20.820 10% body fat, that is the goal. That is the objective. Well, what do you need to do in order to

00:36:25.500 produce that? Well, you need to eat right. You could potentially introduce some sort of a dieting

00:36:30.740 program like intermittent fasting, for example, into your, into your life, uh, certain exercises,

00:36:37.240 certain conditioning, certain practices that you need to do in order to achieve the 10%. So now

00:36:43.240 you define success by waking up every day, going into the gym every day, getting your running in,

00:36:48.900 drinking plenty of water, and then fasting and eating the way that you want to eat.

00:36:53.300 Those are all things that you can completely can control and they will inevitably inevitably produce

00:37:00.000 the result. If all you're focused on is the objective, it's very easy to get discouraged

00:37:04.340 because things come up and it takes longer than you thought it would. And you're not seeing the

00:37:09.680 results as fast as you would like. And so it's all defined on some future date. And there is no

00:37:15.640 win today. Guys, we need wins now. I need a win right now in order to continue going forward. And I get

00:37:22.880 wins in all sorts of different ways by doing this podcast. I feel uplifted and edified. That's a win

00:37:27.240 when my kids hug me at night and say, dad, I love you. And my daughter kisses me on the cheek.

00:37:32.320 And I sing my boys a song that to me is a win. I'm like, Oh, I'm doing this dad thing, right?

00:37:36.940 So every day there's these little wins that I get to measure and add up and see that I am actually

00:37:41.960 on the right path. And those are the things that keep me going, knowing that inevitably I'll just

00:37:48.060 achieve the results on the timeline that it's meant to be.

00:37:51.300 I love that. And that's the value of that battle plan is we look at each of those quadrants at the

00:37:59.280 end of the day and we go, yeah, win, win, win. Right. Right. And, and we're, we're getting that

00:38:05.520 edification immediately on a daily basis of yes, we are progressing in the right direction.

00:38:10.920 Exactly. Exactly. Spot on. So Ryan, when do you think, when do you think maybe there's too much

00:38:18.820 going on? You know, there's a little bit of that, right? I think in Christopher's question,

00:38:22.720 you know, he's has all these things going on and, and maybe, maybe that's too much. Maybe he needs to

00:38:28.820 step back a little bit, not do as many of these things because he's stretching himself thin.

00:38:35.400 Just look at the results. Look at the results. If you're producing inferior results,

00:38:40.140 then you've got too much going on. That's it. That's such an easy thing to measure.

00:38:45.920 I mean, I look at hobbies, for example, I'm interested in a lot. I'm interested in bow

00:38:49.160 hunting. I'm interested in jujitsu. I'm interested in mechanics and working on my car. I just picked

00:38:53.680 up the guitar. I talked with a guy in the iron council about potentially picking up blacksmithing

00:38:57.340 and I'm thinking to myself, holy crap, like I can't even get my guitar practice in.

00:39:02.240 So taking on one more thing, isn't going to produce better results. In fact, it's going to

00:39:06.580 make the whole house of cards tumble down. So look at your results. If you're producing

00:39:12.240 inferior results, according to you, it's your, your life. If you're not producing the results

00:39:17.460 you're after, then start stripping some of these things away. And there's seasons to life too,

00:39:22.980 right? Like this last couple of months, I was hyper-focused on bow hunting because I had the

00:39:27.180 hunts. And now that the hunts are over, I can still work that into my schedule, but I don't need to

00:39:32.800 be so, so into it that I can't do other things. Right. So I just look at the results and figure

00:39:42.640 out what's going to produce for me. And if it's not producing, I got to, I got to figure out a way

00:39:46.300 to strip it back a little bit. Yeah. Got to get that time in practicing, uh, cry me a river

00:39:51.300 on the guitar. I'm not even going to acknowledge it. I'm like, um, um, moving on.

00:39:58.700 Would you add anything? Cause I think he was initially asking you on that.

00:40:04.000 No, I wouldn't add anything. I think everything you said is I, I completely agree with. I,

00:40:09.880 and, and the only thing I'd add is really the question that I asked is, you know, how about

00:40:13.980 overdoing it? Right. And having too many things going on. And I, and I think you had,

00:40:17.720 you answered that perfectly. So thank you. Hopefully that addresses Christopher's question.

00:40:22.620 Excellent. Good, good job, Ryan. Thank you. Not that you need confirmation.

00:40:25.640 Approved. Kip's seal of approval. Yep. Done. All right. What else? All right. Drew, uh,

00:40:35.060 Sands, Sands, Sands, Drew Sands. How often do we need to step back from the day-to-day grind of our

00:40:42.300 business and ensure we are on the right path? Finding myself focused, but not as efficient and

00:40:47.740 moving the needle as fast as I'd like. Right path, meaning, uh, right path, meaning track to get

00:40:54.380 to the outcome we want. You need to do that daily. Yeah. Every single day you need to step back.

00:41:00.940 That's why we talk so much about the after action review. What did you accomplish? What didn't you

00:41:05.180 accomplish? What did you do? Well, what didn't you do so well? And what do you need to do tomorrow

00:41:08.660 to be better? So how often do you need to step back from the day-to-day grind every single day,

00:41:14.540 every single day? Look, if you're not reviewing your progress, you don't know if you're being as

00:41:21.320 efficient as you could. Will you inevitably produce the result? Yeah, probably. Probably.

00:41:26.940 You know, for, I think about, let's say, let's just break this down into the, like the most simple

00:41:31.740 thing that we can possibly think of. Let's say that your job is to break rocks and turn it into small

00:41:39.180 little pieces of gravel, one to two inch pieces of gravel. And you've got these big rocks that you

00:41:43.440 need to break down and you have a hammer to do it. Just a little carpenter hammer. Can you do that?

00:41:48.840 Sure. If over a long enough period of time with enough force and enough effort and enough

00:41:56.920 consistency, you can do that. Or you can step back for a second and say, hold on, there's this 12

00:42:04.220 pound sledgehammer over here. Could I do this faster if I use that sledgehammer? Yeah. So you take a step

00:42:11.220 back, put the, put the carpenter's hammer down, grab the sledgehammer and start pounding rocks.

00:42:15.580 So that's the pro the problem with not reviewing is that you could actually be moving in the right

00:42:22.020 direction. And that's the trap is that you don't know if you're moving in the right direction as

00:42:28.760 efficiently as you possibly could be. That's why it's so critical that you step back and you look

00:42:36.560 and you objectively evaluate and analyze your procedures and the outcome that they're producing

00:42:43.080 and ask yourself, what can I do to make this better, quicker, faster, more efficient,

00:42:51.400 leveraged, whatever term you want to use, that's going to produce it that much quicker for you.

00:42:55.940 I was listening to, uh, Jocko this past week, one of his episodes, and I, I, I wish I could reference

00:43:06.460 the episode number, but I can't, but, um, he used this analogy of, um, sports and the score and what

00:43:16.260 kind of score you want to make. And, and I, and it's stuck in my head because it's been, I've been

00:43:20.960 evaluating it. Am I playing the right game? So the analogy that he uses is if your objective is to

00:43:27.760 have a score, let's say a personal score of over 20 soccer, you shouldn't be playing soccer because

00:43:36.860 you might get one. Right. Right. But if you're playing basketball, 20 is a little bit more feasible.

00:43:43.360 And so based upon the path, cause you drew, you use this term, right? Path based upon the path you

00:43:49.600 are on those paths may have limits to them. You may be the most efficient business owner on earth,

00:43:58.100 but based upon the path that you are on only so much as possible. And so I think, and this kind of

00:44:06.160 comes back to what we do on this quarterly basis within the iron council is one of the things that's

00:44:12.480 part of the battle plan is our vision and our purpose. And, and that helps us. And this kind

00:44:20.040 of reiterates, right. The kind of that bigger picture, right. The grind's perfect. And it's

00:44:24.860 important that we assess kind of the tactics that we're doing, but how does it play in the grand

00:44:29.740 scheme of things? Is it the right path? Right. Am I putting, and even from a non-work perspective,

00:44:35.120 am I putting work in front of my family? Is, is my family more important to me, right? Is my

00:44:42.420 marriage more important to me? Is that evident in my day-to-day tasks that I'm doing? If not,

00:44:48.420 am I in line with my values? And if I'm not, then you know what, maybe I should be reassessing

00:44:54.880 and adjusting and making sure that I'm, and I'm in alignment with those things.

00:45:00.460 Yep. Absolutely. Love it, man.

00:45:03.560 All right. Now all shit goes to, or everything goes to shit on this podcast. Once we get to this

00:45:09.400 Facebook section, I'm just joking. I'm joking. I, we love you Facebook guys. Um, but you're

00:45:16.460 being judged based upon this first, first item by Bubba. And I don't even know if we want to get

00:45:21.500 into this. He, well, we talked about this last month. Yeah, we talked about it. I mean, they're,

00:45:27.060 you know, talking about, do we have a title for the show? I recommend we call it, what do we call

00:45:34.640 it? Soaring subject with Ryan Kipler years, power couple ripped beards. I don't know. These guys

00:45:41.640 have all kinds of clever ideas in regards to what the podcast should be named, but I think it is

00:45:45.780 named. It's called AMA. Right. Right. But I think what they want is the name for, for this, for the

00:45:51.020 power couple that is you and me. You guys, if you got some names, some name ideas, we're always open

00:45:57.920 and receptive to hear what you have. And if you have a better nickname for Kip or myself, then feel free

00:46:03.020 to share those things. Yeah. Maybe do a little bit better than Chris Dalton here and Chris Gatch

00:46:07.960 going Bubba and, and Matthew Hulk. These guys kind of, well, actually Matthew's saying, seriously,

00:46:12.760 guys, 50 K dudes in this group and we can't come up with a better nickname. So, but I like what Chris

00:46:18.020 said. He said, sounds like 50,000 guys are waiting for you. So let's hear yours. Yeah. It's kind of like

00:46:23.940 fighting over what they should call this. All right. What else we got? All right. Chad Shepard.

00:46:29.000 I have ideas for hunting. How do I get, uh, how do I go at someone or a business to throw my ideas

00:46:36.160 out there and them not stealing it? I have no money for lawyers. Um, well they might, if you're

00:46:43.840 going to do that and you're not willing to protect your property, your intellectual property in this

00:46:47.640 case. So, um, this is the risk you run. So either figure out a way to get some money for lawyers and,

00:46:55.900 and protect your property or don't share it or share it with the expectation that somebody might

00:47:02.660 just take it and run. I mean, there, there's not really a whole lot of options here. It is what it

00:47:06.040 is. Now that said, what, what I would do if I had an idea for hunting is I would just start

00:47:11.320 implementing it and prove the model, prove the concept, stash some money away in the meantime,

00:47:17.300 while I'm proving and testing and refining and honing and packaging, whatever it is you're talking

00:47:23.220 about here and then protect it and then start offering it to your friends and get some feedback

00:47:30.780 and some input from them and then refine it and hone it again and then offer it to some maybe

00:47:35.360 influencers in the market and then keep refining it and testing it and just keep going. But yeah,

00:47:40.840 I mean, if you're going to share an idea with somebody and it's not protected, then yeah,

00:47:46.180 they're probably going to steal it. It's just the nature of the beast.

00:47:49.280 And Chad, you don't have to have a lawyer jump online, grab a template for an NDA,

00:47:54.880 a non-disclosure agreement. If, if you choose to pitch, write the idea to someone, just get an

00:47:59.760 NDA in place and have them sign it. Now, to what extent would you be able to go after them without

00:48:04.380 lawyers and all that jazz? That's a whole other conversation, but it's at least will be helpful

00:48:09.700 to have an NDA in place. Well, the other thing though, to keep on that is like some of the guys that

00:48:15.080 you're talking about, like with, they, they may not even sign that they're, they, they may not

00:48:19.740 care enough to say, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not even going to sign that. Like, I don't care about

00:48:23.960 your idea. I'm not trying to be harsh. I'm just saying like, if you have a non-disclosure and

00:48:27.780 you're like, Hey, I'm going to share this awesome idea with you. Like if somebody came to me and

00:48:31.040 they said, Hey Ryan, I'm going to share this amazing idea with you about what you could do to

00:48:35.080 create order of man. And you're going to sign this nine non-disclosure and you've got to do all

00:48:38.220 these things. I'm like, no, I'm not, I'm not jumping through all those hoops. Like if you have

00:48:42.540 something you want to share or you want to, I mean, go ahead and share it or whatever.

00:48:46.120 But if I don't know somebody, I'm probably not going to jump through all those hoops only to

00:48:49.700 find out that the idea they had was potentially not worth the effort. You know, I don't want to

00:48:55.800 say that about that, about Chad. I'm just saying that that is potentially what somebody could think.

00:48:59.500 Yeah, totally. And I know Chad's not asking this, but I have to say this, man,

00:49:03.260 because being, being in tech and being a programmer in my past and, and dealing with software

00:49:08.240 engineers, you know how many times I've heard of an amazing idea all the time, all the time.

00:49:15.880 Somebody's already got it. It's already protected or it's not really that great of an idea or

00:49:18.800 whatever. Exactly. Or, but my point being is guess what works? It's not the idea. It's the execution

00:49:25.320 of the idea. So Chad, do something that no one else is doing and actually execute on the idea.

00:49:30.720 Like actually put in the work and the effort and the commitment to actually make it happen.

00:49:36.320 Right. Guaranteed. Someone already has your idea. The probability of someone having your idea is

00:49:41.280 really, really high. The difference is you would be the one acting on it. Yeah. So, yep. I don't know.

00:49:49.720 Okay. Next question. Nate Scamahorn. How do you coach your sons to deal with bullies in society

00:49:57.620 where a child defending himself is punished the same as the attacker? This one, this one's super easy for me.

00:50:04.100 Yeah, me too. Make your voice more relevant than anybody else's.

00:50:10.540 That's it. Make your voice, your opinion, your approval, your whatever more important and louder

00:50:19.720 to your children than his school teacher, than his principal, than to a bully, than to anybody else.

00:50:30.780 Because in that moment, when he's questioning, oh, if I get in trouble, he's going to say,

00:50:37.620 but not in dad's eyes. In dad's eyes, I'm doing the right thing. Because look, he wants to be like

00:50:45.020 you. He should want to be like you. And you should want him to be like you. If those things aren't in

00:50:50.660 alignment, there's some, there's some gaps. There's some trouble there. So work on improving your own

00:50:57.940 influence in your child's life so that he's getting his, I don't want to say approval necessary,

00:51:05.720 but he's getting his operating system from you, not from the school, not from the principal,

00:51:13.000 not from the teacher, not from society. He's getting it from you and he's operating in the

00:51:19.460 way that you have clearly identified for yourselves.

00:51:25.580 What's some coaching that you would specifically give your son around bullying?

00:51:30.680 Well, there's a lot of things. Number one, you got to make sure he's,

00:51:34.060 he's capable of defending himself. So getting your son into martial arts, getting him into sports,

00:51:38.600 will develop and foster coordination and, and physical prowess and him having the ability to

00:51:44.980 be strong enough to defend himself. So sports, martial arts, those sorts of things are definitely

00:51:48.880 one. Um, I would also run through different scenarios, you know, it's like, Hey, if this

00:51:54.080 happened, what, what would you do? And how would you handle this situation? And if you came across

00:51:57.360 this and if you dealt with this and somebody said this to you and, um, also applauding when he does

00:52:02.500 the right thing, you know, I've had my sons come home and they're like, Hey dad, somebody was

00:52:05.340 picking on so-and-so today. And I said, I told that guy to shut up. Like now, if I went after him and

00:52:10.140 said, Oh, don't use that word. Well, then you're, you're beating him down. You're like saying,

00:52:14.780 Oh, okay. He doesn't want me to do that next time. So what I say is congratulations. Good job.

00:52:20.380 I'm proud of you. You did the right thing. How do you think that person that you helped felt?

00:52:26.480 How did you feel? And so we start walking through the outcome of that, that result. The other thing

00:52:33.780 I would say is that when they get themselves into situations, don't rescue them. Don't rescue your kids

00:52:38.040 all the time. Now there's certain situations you should, if they're about to jump off a cliff and die,

00:52:41.320 you probably should do that. But if it's a situation where there's no real permanent damage

00:52:46.880 that could potentially happen or ramifications, then I say, yeah, let, let that person, let that,

00:52:52.960 let your child experience the weight of their decisions and then be there to support them in,

00:52:58.220 in getting through the consequences of that so that they can start making decisions on their own

00:53:02.660 and seeing how this all plays out. Um, but that's, that's what I would do. That's what I have done.

00:53:09.540 Love it. Love it, man. And this is such a, it's so important. So, so important. And I really love

00:53:17.500 the approach that you took on this question in regards to your voice being louder, right? Because

00:53:22.340 there's, there's some, there's a lot of influence that our kids are getting in regards to bullying

00:53:27.840 and how to deal with it that I, that I highly or strongly disagree with. And so that's, that's super

00:53:33.500 critical. Well, and I teach my children to question what they hear too, right? So if the teacher tells

00:53:38.100 them something, I'm like, well, what do you think about that? And then my kids will say, well,

00:53:41.380 I don't, I don't know, but here's kind of what I think. I'm like, good. So she's not, she doesn't

00:53:46.780 have all the answers, right? Yeah, I guess that's true. No, that doesn't mean we can't be respectful

00:53:51.200 or we should. I mean, we, of course we should be respectful to our teachers, but just because she's

00:53:55.120 your teacher or just because he's your principal or just because this little policy or rules in the

00:54:00.420 books doesn't mean that it's right. So you have to operate according to a standard that you have

00:54:05.840 identified. And as a child, it's my responsibility to identify the framework in which they operate.

00:54:11.660 See, I think in society, we have this really strange thing where we just allow our children

00:54:16.640 to run free in the name of free expression and, and being happy and, and, and expressing themselves.

00:54:24.180 And that's a huge, huge detriment. Kids are dumb. And I say that with all the love in my heart to my

00:54:30.060 children, my kids are ignorant. They're dumb and they know nothing about life. Why? Because they

00:54:35.700 haven't experienced it. So it's my job to set the parameters based on my experience of life

00:54:41.700 in which they can operate and be successful in. You don't get to do whatever it is you want to do

00:54:49.380 because you want to do it, or it makes you happy or it makes you comfortable. It makes you whatever.

00:54:54.500 These are the operating systems by which Michlers operate. Now, when you get older and you get out of

00:55:00.540 your own universe and you decide that there's new input and new stimulus and new experiences that have

00:55:04.640 caused you to create something or think differently, fine. But in the meantime, I'm going to create a

00:55:08.140 foundation for which you can build everything else on. I'm not going to let my kids run free because

00:55:12.280 I want them to be happy and experience life and express themselves fully. They don't know what the

00:55:17.960 hell they're talking about. It's, it's, it's asinine. It's insane to prop our children up on pedestals.

00:55:27.200 They don't belong. And yet we do it every day because we allow our little feel goods to dictate

00:55:34.740 the tone of conversations and experiences in our lives. It's crazy. It's absolutely crazy.

00:55:40.980 Well, and I think some parents do that because they don't want to be parents because it's

00:55:44.880 uncomfortable. They don't want to do the difficult things. Right. They're selfish. Exactly.

00:55:49.060 Exactly. It's weakness. So to Nate's question, Ahmaud Georgie made the following comment. He said,

00:55:57.060 my son just defended a friend against a bully and got a sprained wrist and detention for it. We went

00:56:01.700 out to stakes that night. I love it, man. I love it. And, and if it were me, I mean, that's awesome.

00:56:08.000 That's a great, that's a great followup. Did it actually come in that order? Maybe, maybe he was

00:56:12.760 responding to anyways. Yeah, I think he was responding. But I would, you know what I would also do

00:56:18.260 is I would also go in and I would talk to the principal and I'd say, Hey, can you help me and

00:56:24.860 my son understand why he gets detention for doing the right thing? And I would let that principal

00:56:32.560 defend his position. And I'd let my son experience that. Cause he might say, well, you know, I think

00:56:39.300 he did the right thing, but this is school policy. We have no tolerance BS, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:56:43.660 Okay. Now you can have a meaningful discussion about this whole situation with your son or daughter

00:56:48.180 or whoever it may be. But yeah, you're, you're going to, if you're going to do that, you're going

00:56:52.160 to have to explain. If I have to suffer the consequences of your decisions, you're going

00:56:55.760 to have to explain those decisions to me. I don't let, I don't, I'm not letting them off

00:57:00.520 the hook for that. If, if what was done was right now, look, if I go into the school and

00:57:06.920 the principal says, well, he really wasn't defending himself. He actually just got in a fist fight

00:57:12.100 with this kid and they were fighting. And so he got in trouble. Okay. Now I can have a real

00:57:15.240 conversation with my kid about, Hey, come on now you weren't defending, you instigated

00:57:20.400 this or you were a part of this. And so there's consequences for that. Like I got to be on the

00:57:24.120 same page too. And I have to be intellectually honest. Like I can't, I can't go in and be

00:57:30.120 all upset because he got in trouble for defending somebody and then find out, no, he wasn't defending

00:57:35.840 somebody and then still defend my, my kid in the wrong. No, I've got to be level headed

00:57:41.340 here. That's going to help my kid in the long run. Yeah. That's spot on. And I, and we were kind

00:57:48.240 of talking to more about, uh, on the physical bullying side of things. I think it's really

00:57:52.820 important too, that we help our kids understand, um, kind of the psychological side of, of why

00:57:59.120 other kids may bully them verbally. And what does that mean? And, and the importance that the,

00:58:05.900 of the meaning that we add to things and, you know, and helping them and guide them in the

00:58:09.960 direction of kind of dealing with maybe some psychological or verbal, uh, verbal, uh, bullying

00:58:16.040 from other kids as well. Yeah, that's a real thing. And, and I will also say is that not

00:58:21.240 everything's bullying too. Yeah, totally. I think, I think we live in a really strange time where,

00:58:27.180 you know, you look at somebody wrong and they're like, he was bullying me. He called me four eyes

00:58:30.780 and he was bullying me. I'm like, he was teasing you. I'll give him that, but he wasn't really

00:58:34.700 bullying you. So we, we got to be careful of that too. And, and I think we are the biggest

00:58:38.980 culprits of that as parents, because our kids come home and they're like, dad, he called me fat.

00:58:43.660 He's bullying me. He's called me fat. It's like, no, he just called you fat. And like, he's

00:58:47.580 it's, there's nothing to it. Like you need to build up and foster some mental, mental and emotional

00:58:53.240 resiliency as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Kyle West, what are some financial concerns to be

00:59:01.380 aware of and how should one be investing his money? We're going back to your old school days here in

00:59:06.680 the financial podcast. How would you change over different parts of your life? So high school,

00:59:13.220 college, post-highest, after college, early career, thirties, forties, and beyond.

00:59:17.360 Well, high school and college is all about developing skill sets that are going to help you

00:59:21.140 capitalize when the time comes. So if I was in high school and college, my big emphasis and focus is

00:59:26.900 on developing skills, talents, gifts, abilities in order to produce income. Now you could also start a

00:59:32.840 side business that will generate revenue. So you can learn marketing and how to use this

00:59:36.340 digital technology and that, that we have access to. These are all opportunities to experiment,

00:59:41.460 to try new things, to test, to really get the relationship with money, right? By learning how

00:59:46.160 money works, getting it from qualified sources, not just school teachers, uh, bless their hearts.

00:59:51.440 You know what I mean? Like professors and stuff. But at the end of the day, these people don't go out

00:59:54.880 into the market. They don't create a product based on, on a free market society that people can either

01:00:00.880 reject or, or embrace. Like you need to go out into the world of entrepreneurship and capitalism and

01:00:06.540 actually figure out how the relationship with money actually works. Not what a textbook tells you

01:00:11.900 about money. It's a, it's a big, big problem. There's a huge gap between, uh, what we are being

01:00:17.760 taught and then what is actual reality based on people who are actually earning income and providing

01:00:23.420 services and products to the world. It's a huge issue. Uh, what financial concerns do you need to be

01:00:28.940 aware of? Well, you need to be worried about that, that, uh, stream of income being shut off,

01:00:34.300 whether that's from a disability or a job loss or, uh, a medical emergency or a layoff,

01:00:41.240 any number of things that could happen. And so saving money, setting money aside for a rainy day,

01:00:46.620 just in case that faucet does shut off is critical. Uh, figuring out a way to create,

01:00:50.960 if we're going to use the faucet analogy, multiple faucets of income. So if one shuts off,

01:00:55.840 then we have this other faucet of income here. I mean, we do the same thing, even within order of

01:01:00.460 man, we've got the iron council guys pay on a monthly basis to be part of this membership

01:01:04.720 and this brotherhood. Uh, but then we have products and then we have podcast sponsorships

01:01:10.300 and we have all kinds of little different things. Um, I do some coaching one-on-one coaching.

01:01:14.880 I do some speaking, and these are all different little faucets of income that if one thing changes,

01:01:19.040 I've got these other avenues to create income for me, uh, down the road. And then of course,

01:01:23.540 investing, you want to diversify. And I'm not talking about just diversifying in stocks,

01:01:27.780 although you need to do that too. I'm talking about different assets altogether. So that could

01:01:32.780 be real estate, uh, business, the stock market. I mean, you can even get into exotics down the road.

01:01:39.220 That's down the road, uh, that will help you diversify your portfolio a little bit more.

01:01:42.860 So there's so much to the very broad question, so much to this. Uh, but those are a few things that

01:01:48.680 I'd be aware of. Cool. Brian Zableckis, how do you overcome the fear of success when you are not

01:01:58.220 afraid of failure, but afraid of doing well because you don't deserve it. Adopted around 10 live, uh,

01:02:04.760 both dirt poor and well off. And anytime I succeed, I start to panic. Sounds stupid,

01:02:10.080 but it holds me back from doing more. I can't even relate with this question.

01:02:13.860 You know, what's funny about this is I, but you hear this all the time. Like I've heard this all

01:02:19.920 the time is where like fear of success. And I do not, I can't relate either because success seems so

01:02:25.920 ideal. So, uh, but am I wrong here? Like you hear this quite a bit. Have you heard? I don't hear this

01:02:33.020 all the time, but I've heard this. I would say like, look, just on the surface, I don't know if

01:02:40.180 it's the fear of success. I think that might be what you're telling yourself. I think there might

01:02:45.280 be some fear there, no doubt, but I don't think it's fear of success. That is really, really strange

01:02:51.160 to me. I can't even answer that because I don't even, I don't know what that means. What I would

01:02:56.760 suggest is that there's some fear of something else, fear of working harder or fear of the way people

01:03:02.680 might view you if you are successful. And so you might be ostracized from the group, or you might have

01:03:08.760 to alienate people in order to achieve some level of success. You'll be pushed out of your comfort

01:03:13.740 zone. But I mean, I'd be hard, hard pressed to believe that it's the actual success that somebody's

01:03:20.060 afraid of. I think we need to dig deeper here and figure out what is it that you're actually afraid

01:03:25.500 of? And you know what? Uh, afraid of failure, but afraid of doing well because you don't deserve it.

01:03:29.940 Frankly, you don't deserve it because you don't have it. So if you did deserve it, you'd already have it.

01:03:35.240 Does that make sense? People say that all the time. I deserve to be happy. Well, no, you deserve

01:03:41.500 what you have. I mean, that's the bottom line. If you deserved it, you'd already have it.

01:03:49.620 And the reason I bring that up is because so many people get in this mindset of like,

01:03:55.300 oh, I deserve it, or I don't deserve it, or I want this. And I, and, and somebody owes me this. No,

01:04:00.360 you deserve exactly what you have. If you want more than realize that you're going to have to

01:04:07.020 do something more. So I think this idea of doing well, because you don't deserve it,

01:04:12.420 there's actually some truth to that. You don't, but if you want it, then okay, you're going to have

01:04:18.420 to go out and earn it so that you do get to reap the benefit of having it.

01:04:22.620 That's interesting concept. Well, and I think for Brian, I mean, if, if, if he has had success and

01:04:29.140 he has deserved it, right? Because he obviously has it and he's still feeling that way as though

01:04:35.240 he doesn't, then obviously it's a different story, right? It's some story that has to do with you and

01:04:40.980 your personal value. And it's probably unrelated to success. And you're just looking for evidence of

01:04:47.000 why you're not worthy to be, um, you know, a better man or, you know what I mean? To be loved

01:04:52.440 or something else, right? It's more of a psychological thing.

01:04:55.020 That's what I think it is. You know, it's like people who sabotage their relationships or

01:04:58.880 people that sabotage their businesses, or in this case, sabotage some level of success.

01:05:03.100 And they're thinking, well, I'm just, I'm just a horrible human being. And so I shouldn't have

01:05:07.540 these things. Okay. That's not the success talking. That's some negative experience or belief that

01:05:13.140 you've held onto for far too long. That's keeping you back, but it's not the success.

01:05:19.160 Yeah. Hmm.

01:05:20.680 Matt York, how to men, how to manage your time better. If you work in construction and work odd

01:05:29.580 hours, I know we all have the same 24, but sometime, uh, for some time I am not motivated to do other

01:05:37.060 things after a long day. And then Brian, uh, from the question before said, great question. Nothing

01:05:44.720 like working in an 18 hour day. Yeah. Sometimes that's all you have time for. Yeah. You know,

01:05:50.080 if you put in an 18 hour day, you got six hours to sleep and then you're right back to it. And

01:05:53.440 sometimes that's all you have time for. So yeah, there's, there's nothing else to do now that being

01:05:59.500 said, I mean, you, you got to maximize your hours, right? If they're odd hours. Okay. So

01:06:04.240 that could, that could mean two different things. Number one, it could mean that you just work swing

01:06:09.240 shift, but they're still standardized. They're just odd. And in that case, you do the same thing as

01:06:13.820 everybody else. You just adjust it eight hours or whatever the math comes out to, right? If it's,

01:06:19.560 well, sometimes I work in the morning and sometimes I work at night and sometimes, okay,

01:06:22.880 well, you know what your schedule is going to be, right? So figure it out. You know, if,

01:06:27.800 if one day you work out or excuse me, if one day you work in the afternoon, then get your workout in

01:06:32.720 and your breakfast and your morning activities and your time with your family before you go to work.

01:06:36.460 And then the next day you're going to work in the morning and then, okay, well then do it in the

01:06:40.640 evening. Like it just takes a little planning just like anybody. I mean, everybody's got to plan out

01:06:44.860 their day. So just plan out your week, adjust where it needs to use a calendar, fit your activities in

01:06:51.120 and get it done. Yeah. And you might have to get creative. I mean, we've, we've talked about this

01:06:57.060 with some of the battle teams, you know, even in the iron council, you know, if, if you don't have

01:07:01.280 the time for a workout, well, well, do you have a time for a 15 minute break? Do you have a 30

01:07:06.740 minute break at some point in your day? Just do pushups. That's exactly right. Yeah. You just

01:07:12.540 adjust, adapt and overcome. Just figure it out. Yeah. All right. Matt Seaman, any thoughts on having

01:07:21.440 a woman on the podcast, particularly one that would rebuke the toxic masculinity movement? I'm

01:07:27.480 convinced few women actually buy into that garbage. And if they do, their viewpoint will

01:07:32.420 eventually fall victim to natural selection. Um, I mean, we've had a woman on the podcast,

01:07:40.100 but I haven't thought much about it too much, quite honestly. Um, just because not that I

01:07:47.000 wouldn't, but just cause that's not really the conversations we're having. I'm not interested

01:07:51.020 in having a discussion with somebody about that wants to, to, that believes in toxic masculinity,

01:07:56.760 because it just seems like a silly argument to have. Like, it's just not like it legitimizes the

01:08:02.060 argument. There's, there's no legitimacy to that argument in my mind. So like, why would I continue

01:08:06.900 to have that discussion? Yeah. And he's kind of, he's suggesting someone that would rebuke it.

01:08:12.760 No, no rebuke. He's saying somebody that actually, Oh, well no. Why, why? Oh, you, he means a woman

01:08:19.740 that, that doesn't believe in it. Yes. Oh, well, no. Why, why, why? Cause he doesn't trust you.

01:08:29.360 No, I'm not, I'm not saying I wouldn't have a woman on, but I'm just curious, like why?

01:08:34.200 Um, I think it could, I mean, for the women, for the woman listeners of the podcast, right?

01:08:38.940 Yeah, but that's not who we're, but that's not our audience.

01:08:41.840 Right. So do women listen to this? Absolutely. Am I going to create a show for that woman who

01:08:47.220 happens to be listening? No. Yeah. Cause that's what that ends up doing is that ends up watering down

01:08:52.840 the show. So this is the problem. Like this is a marketing lesson. There's a really good book I'm

01:08:59.040 reading right now. Call, I think it's called this. It's not in my office now. It's upstairs. It's,

01:09:03.520 it's called, this is marketing. And, and one of the problems that we run into is that we want to

01:09:09.540 appeal to such a wide audience of people that we end up creating this watered down diluted message

01:09:15.280 that appeals to nobody. So I'm not really interested in creating a message that resonates with everybody.

01:09:22.100 Like I made a post on Facebook this morning about why it's important. We get our kids in

01:09:25.640 competitive sports. And some people are like, well, my kid does this and my kid, you don't

01:09:29.540 need to competitive sports. I'm like, you know what? Like if you're not into competitive sports,

01:09:33.120 I don't know if we're really going to get along all that well, not that we can't be cordial,

01:09:38.060 but that I just don't know if, if you're going to believe much of what I say and that's fine.

01:09:44.880 I don't, I don't care. It doesn't, it doesn't bother me if somebody doesn't resonate. Like if you,

01:09:49.680 if you don't support the military and first responders, you're probably going to have a

01:09:55.160 hard time with my messages and the things that I say, because that is so ingrained into who I am,

01:09:59.880 that I'm going to share those things and it's going to drive you crazy. And I'm not going to

01:10:03.480 not bring those things up because you're uncomfortable with it. You're just going to go

01:10:07.740 out and find something else. And I'm great with that. And then we're going to appeal to the audience

01:10:11.760 who is, if you don't like hunting, like if you're adamantly opposed to hunting,

01:10:16.500 then this is not a great place for you to be because you're going to get pissed off by what

01:10:22.540 I say. And the thousands of other men who follow this, who hunt, who like hunting and believe

01:10:26.840 that it's part of being able to provide for your family. And that's going to infuriate a lot of

01:10:31.960 people. And I don't care. That's fine. Go on about your day and find something that appeals to you.

01:10:39.420 That's going to help you improve and level up your life in the way that you, it's not my obligation

01:10:43.920 to be the end all save all for everybody. And that is the biggest problem that we run into when

01:10:49.260 it comes to marketing is that we think that it's somehow my responsibility to solve everybody's

01:10:56.420 problems. No, I have a select few problems that I've identified for men that are important.

01:11:01.380 That's what I talk about. That's who I speak to. That's what resonates with the guys I listen to.

01:11:05.560 And if you don't fall into that camp or think it's stupid or don't appreciate or don't approve of

01:11:09.600 what I'm saying, I, all the power to you find something that works for you. It ain't here

01:11:13.860 though. Yeah. And at the root of that is effectiveness. I mean, we've talked about this

01:11:17.800 earlier, right? To some of the questions of being spread too thin, right? Your effectiveness is going

01:11:22.800 to go down if you, if you make your focus too broad. Right. Right. Well, and I'm just trying to think

01:11:28.680 about, you know, if a woman that comes on and that she, you know, she's like, well, we don't believe

01:11:32.740 in toxic masculinity because of this. Okay. Well, that's what we've been saying the whole time. It's like,

01:11:36.780 I don't, I don't know that there's a need to do that. That would actually make that a worthwhile

01:11:42.120 conversation. Yeah. That's all. But my wife's come on. I've had another couple of women come on.

01:11:48.700 And we've had some great conversations that now I will say with the, with, uh, Sarah Jones is her

01:11:54.120 name. She came on and she talked about, uh, confidence and how a man is viewed in a woman's

01:12:00.680 eyes. Like that to me is like, Oh, that's relevant. Right. Cause now we get to see how a woman

01:12:05.760 perceives a man. And that gives us insight into how we can better show up for our families and

01:12:10.540 the women in our lives. Yeah. That is relevant. So if I am going to have a woman on, it's just

01:12:15.560 got to be, it's just got to be relevant. That's all I'm saying. All right. Let's take maybe one

01:12:22.880 more, one or two more. Yeah, maybe. Okay. Justin Chauver, what advice do you have when dealing with

01:12:28.400 an overinflated female ego who believes she is in charge of all aspects of her job and everyone

01:12:33.700 around her, especially when she has been known to have poor results and bring the whole team down

01:12:38.860 with her? Uh, hold on. Let me, let me answer that in just a second. How many questions do we have

01:12:44.960 like four or more? Is that all we have? Uh, we have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I was

01:12:51.020 going to say, let's just go through those. We'll have to make another one. So, okay. Uh, how do you

01:12:54.700 deal with an overinflated female ego? Help her win. I'm taking, I'm stealing right from Jocko. Help her

01:13:00.440 win. Help her win. If you can help your boss win, it doesn't matter if it's a him or her. It doesn't

01:13:06.140 matter if it's male or female. If you can help your boss win, you will win. You'll win because he

01:13:13.240 or she will get promoted or start producing better within the team or promote you because they like

01:13:20.540 you where you'll have more influence and more capability to do great things. The boss above her

01:13:25.860 or him will see that, Oh, this guy's, this guy's actually, this is, this is our player here. This

01:13:32.340 is our linchpin. We need, we need to promote this guy. So the best thing that you can do is to help

01:13:39.360 that leader win in all capacities, in all ways, shapes, and forms. And when you do, you will be

01:13:48.060 better served by doing that. Now, look at some point you've got to, you've got to figure out,

01:13:54.980 okay, is there a better place for me? Right? So you're always wanting to keep your options open,

01:13:58.900 but in the meantime, you help that leader win. And then when you do leave, hopefully you get a

01:14:02.400 great recommendation and you can find new employment. That's going to work a little better

01:14:05.920 for you where you have a better environment. But in the meantime, don't get it. Don't get sucked

01:14:09.760 down into that. Don't get in a little office drama and our boss, blah, blah, blah, blah. You start

01:14:15.420 getting sucked into that. You're being played and you will be found out. So help your, help your

01:14:22.120 female leader in this case, win. That's your job. In fact, that, that, that is your job to help your

01:14:28.040 company win. Yeah. And everyone knows, you know what I mean? Everyone knows that's the, you're exactly,

01:14:35.520 everybody knows they already know her and they already know you and they can see how you, they know

01:14:43.020 who's winning and who's not, and who's adding and who's take. Everybody knows there's no game you can

01:14:48.200 play that would keep people from knowing what's actually going on in the office. Yeah. And you

01:14:52.460 don't need to make sure she loses. So everyone knows everyone already knows. And if you're generating

01:14:57.480 results, people know they're from you, right? If you set her up, you will fail. Yeah. You will fail.

01:15:03.860 Totally. Cool. All right. Mark Barnes, maintaining balance. Oh man, maintaining balance. Well, you

01:15:11.960 can't, right? I mean, think about, think about what balancing actually is. Think about standing on a

01:15:16.400 board. You know, what, what you're doing is you're making micro adjustments with your muscles in order

01:15:23.380 to stay on the board. And so that's what you're doing with, with your family and your business.

01:15:29.180 And sometimes you're going to need to place more emphasis on the left foot and sometimes more

01:15:32.480 emphasis on the right foot because of the circumstances of the environment or the wind

01:15:36.340 or the factors or whatever. And it's the same thing in life. Sometimes you're going to have to

01:15:39.720 place more emphasis on home. You have to be the judge of that. And you have to keep your eyes up.

01:15:43.760 You have to be aware of what the people in your family are dealing with. And sometimes, you know,

01:15:47.920 it's busy. When I was in retail, this time of year was busy. And my wife knew that and understood

01:15:51.680 that. And we just made the adjustments as necessary. And I got her on the same page and she understood

01:15:56.260 why it was important this time of year for being busy. And it was what it was. And then there's other

01:16:01.200 times where it slows down and life is good. Now I would also add, and I've said this,

01:16:05.720 I don't know how many times, but you need to create some sort of boundaries in your life

01:16:09.580 so that things aren't bleeding over into each other. That work isn't bleeding over into home

01:16:14.820 and that home isn't bleeding over into work. And I think you and I, Kip, talked about this earlier

01:16:18.360 is that if you're going to do something, be the best. So if you're going to be at work, be the best boss

01:16:22.540 or employee or whatever. If you're going to be at home, be the best father and dad. If you're going to

01:16:27.060 be coaching your kids' teams, be the best coach at that moment. If you're going to be in the gym,

01:16:30.720 be the best lifter there ever was. Like wherever you are, be the best at that and then set the

01:16:37.140 boundaries so that you can be the best at the next thing that you move into. That is how I maintain

01:16:41.600 balance. All right. One more question. Yeah. And I'm kind of just glancing over this. I think this

01:16:49.400 is a better question saved for you. Yeah. I don't even know if I, well, let's read it. Well, I'll do my

01:16:55.380 best. How's that, John? So John La Russa, help with a stepson, man. I am lost. Won't listen.

01:17:02.080 No respect. Part of the problem is me. I lose my patience, get angry and honestly yell. I'm sick

01:17:07.940 of the relationship. So I need, I need tips on starting over a renewal or whatever the popular

01:17:14.100 term is. Well, the first thing I think is realizing and fixing the area in which you know, you're the

01:17:22.760 problem. So, uh, if you know that your patience and your anger, um, and you're yelling is not helping,

01:17:30.900 then you got to stop it. Like period. It doesn't matter. Like if you, you can start over and create

01:17:36.900 anew, but if nothing has changed, then it's not going to do you any good. It's just going to be a,

01:17:42.600 uh, you run in your mouth and Oh, here, here's my stepfather. Once again, saying that we're going to

01:17:48.120 start over and we're going to do this right. And what do you do? Digress back to the way you were

01:17:52.620 and you've shown no change from your perspective. So whatever you do, it's not, and I, and I'm even

01:17:59.980 hesitant to use that word change. Whatever you do, you need to transform your relationship with him.

01:18:05.580 It needs to be different and it's not a change or a slight improvement over the past. It is

01:18:12.060 100% different. Um, and, and it starts with you correcting what you're doing wrong. Uh, and in

01:18:19.580 your case, you're saying patience and anger and yelling, those kinds of things. Second, um, and

01:18:25.540 ironically, this is one of the benefits of the iron council. Um, you know, I've been struggling with

01:18:31.120 my stepson of late. So by no means am I saying this from a, from a position of authority. It's

01:18:37.120 really just from a position of experience and, and what I'm currently trying and, and, and dealing

01:18:41.580 with. But on echo, uh, this was an up at night for me and I brought it up with my team and I said,

01:18:47.020 Hey guys, I'm struggling in this space. I'm having a really hard time. Um, kind of connecting with

01:18:53.200 him and, and helping him develop discipline. And, uh, our world's a little bit chaotic with the new

01:18:59.980 baby and we've gotten out of our routine in which I had created as part of my battle plan. You know,

01:19:05.980 what are some of the recommendations that you guys have for me? And this is, this is what's so

01:19:10.080 powerful of what we do is because I got solid input and insight from other men that have dealt

01:19:16.780 with this, that had other ideas, similar situations. And I was able to take those ideas

01:19:22.320 and see how they might apply to my situation. And so some of the counsel that I got from my team on

01:19:28.020 echo is really about going into his world, right? Making sure that he understands that whatever is

01:19:37.160 important to him is important to me. And I involve myself more in what he's doing. And as crazy as that

01:19:44.020 is for some kids that might be, I really love fortnight and dad's going to actually sit down

01:19:49.520 and play fortnight with him. What does that tell him? That tells him that you're willing to sacrifice

01:19:54.540 and do something that you probably wouldn't normally do for the sake of like getting on his level,

01:19:59.940 right? For me, my son just started wrestling. And one of the, one of the items on my radar is,

01:20:06.740 Hey, you know what? That's like a hot topic for him. That's really a huge interest of him right now.

01:20:10.600 Let's go over what you covered today, right? Show me those moves that you taught and not from a

01:20:15.220 position of correcting them. Oh, well, you know, that's wrong. Or you coached your, or you know

01:20:19.760 what I mean? But really from a position of teach me, I mean, Ryan, you talked about this a couple

01:20:23.100 of weeks ago, right? About your daughter drawing a star. It's the same thing. Yeah. Show me, show me

01:20:28.620 that move. Show me again. Right. And it's our way of being a hundred percent present with them

01:20:32.860 and making sure. And it kind of alludes to what I said earlier, I think is, I think our number one

01:20:38.180 responsibility as parents, whether they're step sons or whether they're biological children or not

01:20:42.160 is we have to make sure that they know that they are loved unconditionally in the grand scheme of

01:20:49.500 things. That's my number one priority with my son. So how do I do that? And, and, and what

01:20:55.320 adjustments do I need to make sure that he knows that he's loved and guess what, dude, it's going to

01:21:00.180 be super hard when they do stupid ass things, make poor decisions and your, your patience goes out the

01:21:06.760 window and you're angry and you're yelling. And I would probably argue and suggest that your lack

01:21:12.100 of patience, anger and honesty, uh, and you're yelling is doing what create sending a message

01:21:17.320 that you don't respect him. Yeah. That you don't love him. And you're teaching him that that's how you

01:21:23.680 deal with problems with people, right? When people don't do what I want, this is what I do. I get angry.

01:21:28.940 I get impatient and I start yelling at him. Is that what we want to teach our kids? No. Then you're

01:21:32.980 going to have to do the tough thing, right? And, uh, deal with those situations a little bit better.

01:21:38.600 That's all I got. I'm still working with this, John. So good luck, man.

01:21:42.780 It's excellent. Well, should we call it a day Kip? Yeah. Sounds good to me.

01:21:46.760 All right. Let us know where they can connect with us and we'll wrap it up so you guys can get on with

01:21:51.480 your life and the things that you have to get done. Yeah. So the main thing is guys, if you want to

01:21:56.060 submit questions to the podcast, we talked about this earlier. You have those three ways,

01:21:59.900 patreon.com forward slash patreon.com. You can say forward slash. I just like giving you a hard

01:22:07.060 time. I have such a hard time not saying forward slash. Okay. Patreon.com slash order of man.

01:22:12.400 Isn't it a forward slash? It is a forward slash. I'm just giving you a hard time, man.

01:22:17.140 On the line. It's on the line. Uh, second iron council members. That's another way that you can

01:22:24.100 submit a question, by the way, don't join the iron council because you want to submit a question

01:22:27.600 of the podcast. What you should be doing is if you want to join like minute, like minded men,

01:22:34.300 rub shoulders with them and hold each other accountable, have the difficult conversations,

01:22:39.540 right? And push forward together. Iron shoppens iron. You do that by joining the iron council.

01:22:45.640 And you can learn more about the iron council at order of man.com forward slash iron council.

01:22:50.520 And if you want to join the 50,000 plus other men on the Facebook group,

01:22:55.900 that's facebook.com forward slash groups forward slash order of man. Of course, Mr.

01:23:00.520 Mickler. Hold on. I think on the face, but I think, I think those ones are just,

01:23:03.480 just slashes though. Slashes. I'm just Facebook because, because the intelligence level of non-iron

01:23:10.420 council, I'm just joking. We don't want to confuse them. That's right. We love you Facebook guys. I'm

01:23:16.160 joking. I shouldn't. You should. Yeah. All right. Sorry. I keep interrupting you. I know. Connect

01:23:22.560 with Ryan on Insta at Ryan Mickler and Twitter at order of man. Um, face, I mean, the store still

01:23:30.680 has some product. I actually bought some stuff this morning. I actually saw that. I got an email.

01:23:35.420 Yeah. What'd you get? Uh, so I ordered the testosterone shirt cause I want to increase my

01:23:41.240 testosterone levels and my performance. I would have sent you those. You don't have to buy that. I would

01:23:45.820 have just sent it to you. Hey, you know what? It's, it's, I, it's worth the money. So I'm

01:23:50.940 willing to, uh, pay the price for it. So I got the testosterone shirt, the, uh, the tank,

01:23:57.160 the order of man. So I could show off my, uh, guns and my shoulders when I'm working out in the gym.

01:24:01.240 That's right. And I got that beanie. I'm trying to bring those flat brims and the curve brims

01:24:06.200 together. Oh, did you see the latest thing guys are complaining about that the beanie folded?

01:24:11.540 That's what, that's what some, I'm like, Oh my goodness. You can never win.

01:24:15.500 I told Andy, I said, Hey, let's start a fight about beanies so I can sell more of those too.

01:24:20.040 He's like, don't tell people our secrets. All right, guys. Well, thanks. Appreciate you,

01:24:26.780 man. As always great questions today, guys. It was an honor to answer those things. Hopefully

01:24:30.160 we give you some insight and some feedback that you need that will help improve your

01:24:33.180 relationships and your fitness and your, well, just every aspect of life. So appreciate you guys.

01:24:38.600 Couldn't do it without you. Glad we have the questions. Glad that you are joining us in this

01:24:43.480 mission. We need more men definitely standing up in this fight. So we're honored you're here. All

01:24:47.400 right, guys, get to it. We'll get to it. Go out there, take action, become the man you are meant

01:24:51.940 to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

01:24:57.600 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - November 28, 2018

What is Bravery, Can Ego be Positive, and How to Deal with a Bad Boss ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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