Order of Man - What is Honor, How to Get Noticed at Work, and Prioritizing Information with Application

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.180 Glad to be doing another Ask Me Anything.

00:00:27.280 Always excited you, AMA.

00:00:30.100 It is. It's a beautiful thing, right?

00:00:32.180 Yeah, it is. That's like the highlight of my week.

00:00:35.380 That's a pretty sad week.

00:00:37.540 No. These are great conversations, and I love it, man.

00:00:42.160 That's true.

00:00:42.380 So it's good. It's really good.

00:00:44.420 Good. Well, let's get to it, man. We'll just jump right into it today.

00:00:46.940 Guys, if you're tuning in for the very first time, and it's likely that you are because, Kip, I don't know.

00:00:51.900 I don't think I've told you this, but the exponential growth that we've seen inside of this podcast over the past,

00:00:58.320 three, four, five weeks has just been incredible.

00:01:01.860 So I know there's a lot of new guys tuning in for the first time, and this might be the very first episode that they're tuning in for.

00:01:08.180 And I'm sorry that they have to hear you on the very first episode of the Order of Man podcast.

00:01:12.820 Or it could be possible that all they know about is the AMA, and they don't even know about the other shows because this is the most popular one now.

00:01:22.040 Maybe, and they might think that I'm your co-host as opposed to you being mine.

00:01:26.520 I don't know. There could be all sorts of confusion here.

00:01:29.800 Do you want to read the first question maybe?

00:01:33.020 I'm just joking.

00:01:33.900 We have a good time here, guys.

00:01:35.740 Anyways, glad you're tuning in.

00:01:36.680 If you don't know what this is all about, on that note, we are fielding questions from our Facebook group, from our Patreon account, which is patreon.com slash order of man.

00:01:48.440 There's some perks there.

00:01:49.840 I just sent out a couple of books.

00:01:51.980 We've got some new merchandise that's being sent out to some of the Patreon members who have won for last month.

00:01:58.700 Also, guys from the Iron Council, which is our exclusive brotherhood.

00:02:01.780 I mean, we're everywhere, Kip. We're everywhere.

00:02:04.100 If you want to find out about what we're doing and ask these questions, just type in order of man in your browser, and you'll find everywhere we are.

00:02:12.540 Love it.

00:02:13.860 So, with that said, let's just jump right into the questions.

00:02:17.040 All right.

00:02:17.480 Our first question from the Facebook group, Daryl French.

00:02:21.940 How to tell the difference between a passion that should stay a hobby or progress to a possible income source?

00:02:28.180 An example could be woodworking or writing.

00:02:31.780 And then Chad Turner, he seconds this one.

00:02:34.940 He's really curious about where's that balance?

00:02:38.180 I would just say experiment.

00:02:39.680 You know, just try it.

00:02:41.540 Some things you know, right?

00:02:43.280 Like, I'm just not interested in turning this into a money-making venture.

00:02:45.900 For example, I just picked up the guitar about three weeks ago, and I'm not interested in singing professionally, although I have multiple, multiple requests to do so.

00:02:55.500 So, that's a joke.

00:02:58.660 I got it.

00:02:59.780 I'm just not interested in turning it into something that's going to make an income.

00:03:06.860 I don't know.

00:03:07.720 I would just say experiment.

00:03:08.960 Try.

00:03:09.340 You know, if somebody's asking you about it and saying, maybe you're doing woodworking and you built a cabinet or a bookshelf, and somebody says, man, that's really cool.

00:03:17.900 Can you make me one?

00:03:18.680 Well, you might be onto something.

00:03:19.960 Give it a shot.

00:03:20.460 Say, yeah, I'll make you one.

00:03:21.200 If you enjoy doing that, make another one.

00:03:23.900 If you don't enjoy doing it, don't do it.

00:03:26.420 You know, I made some boxes.

00:03:28.300 This was probably like five years ago.

00:03:29.860 I made some little grow boxes for my wife that were raised up above the ground, and I had a couple of neighbors ask if I would make them, and they were willing to pay me for it.

00:03:37.240 I said, yeah, sure, I'll do that.

00:03:38.380 And they paid me, and I did it, and it was miserable.

00:03:41.040 It took, it zapped all of the fun out of it.

00:03:43.440 I was like, this sucks.

00:03:44.700 This is miserable.

00:03:45.680 Like, you could not pay me enough to continue to do this.

00:03:49.480 And so, I stopped doing it for other people, and I just said, yeah, if you want to do it.

00:03:53.500 Here's the plans, but I'm not building it, and I maintain it as a hobby of mine.

00:03:57.260 So, just experiment.

00:03:58.140 See what works, and if somebody's willing to pay you for it, give it a shot, and you'll find out if you like it or not.

00:04:04.920 There you go, Daryl.

00:04:06.780 All right, next question.

00:04:08.540 Yeah, I think that's straightforward.

00:04:11.300 By the way, I run into this not so much from a possible income source, but I struggle with this even in areas like, I don't know, like jiu-jitsu.

00:04:21.960 And it's not that I'm like, okay, well, how do I make jiu-jitsu an income source?

00:04:25.720 But it's like, when do you, I don't know, like there's a balance act sometimes, you know?

00:04:31.200 Like, for me, you know, it crosses my mind sometimes.

00:04:34.820 I'm like, you know, I want to be a world's champ.

00:04:37.360 Well, and if you do, then I think you probably ought to explore that path.

00:04:40.720 I'm not saying necessarily walk the path, but explore it.

00:04:43.400 You ought to take the first step down it.

00:04:45.420 But I think there's some dichotomy there, right?

00:04:47.620 You know what I'm saying?

00:04:48.320 Where it's like, okay, well, yeah, world's champ, but what's the price of that, right?

00:04:53.980 Am I willing to pay that price to put that much time in?

00:04:57.760 And how's it going to affect work and family?

00:04:59.760 You know what I mean?

00:05:00.460 It's tough.

00:05:01.240 Well, you got to have realistic expectations of it.

00:05:03.320 Because I think a lot of times what guys will think is, oh, it'll be easy.

00:05:06.280 You know, I'll just, we'll take your example.

00:05:08.380 If I just, if I'm in the gym, you know, one to two hours per day, every day, then I'll be a world champ.

00:05:13.360 No, no, no, no, no.

00:05:14.880 You need to be in there eight to 12 hours a day, every day.

00:05:18.280 And that's what it takes, you know, and then competing and traveling and the money and the financial commitment and everything else that goes with investing in yourself to get you that level.

00:05:25.880 So, yeah, I mean, have a realistic expectation, but I also think you ought to explore that stuff.

00:05:30.160 There's so many guys out there who could do some incredibly wonderful things, but they're not willing to take the first step.

00:05:35.840 So for you, let's talk about being a world champion, a jujitsu practitioner.

00:05:41.640 If that's on your mind, I think you ought to research that.

00:05:44.700 I think you ought to explore that.

00:05:45.700 I think you ought to go down that path a little bit.

00:05:47.540 And you might get, you know, two, three, four, five steps down the path and realize, oh, no, no, I wasn't really that interested in it.

00:05:54.480 But man, what if you don't walk the path at all and you don't explore it and you don't research it?

00:06:00.680 What potentially are you limiting yourself to?

00:06:04.360 And what are you leaving on the table?

00:06:06.260 Had you not explored that path?

00:06:07.320 That's what I did with order of man.

00:06:08.440 I didn't start with, with the anticipation or idea that it would be this global movement that it is today.

00:06:14.060 I simply thought that this would be a cool project.

00:06:18.320 It would allow me to talk to some inspirational men and help me improve my life.

00:06:22.280 And I would share these concepts with the dozen or so guys that would listen or whatever.

00:06:26.640 And so I explored it and it's grown into what it is today because I was willing to take just a very small step towards what sounded like could potentially be a good idea.

00:06:35.960 It wasn't anything more than that, really, truly, it was not anything more than that.

00:06:40.440 I think the, the golden nugget and what you said is what's, what's the price or not the price, but what if you don't, right?

00:06:50.160 Like what's at stake if you don't give it a try?

00:06:52.360 Right.

00:06:52.860 I like that.

00:06:53.700 And what's the worst that can happen?

00:06:55.400 You know, let's take, let's take your, your example that you use, you know, you, you explore it.

00:06:59.440 You make, you make some more commitment and some more time.

00:07:02.060 So you spend a little more time away from the family, maybe work suffers a little bit for, you know, two, three, four weeks and, and you realize, man, I don't, this isn't for me.

00:07:12.120 I just don't enjoy it.

00:07:13.320 Okay.

00:07:13.580 Well get back on the path, the other path that you were on, but maybe you're like, you know what?

00:07:17.380 I actually, I really enjoy this.

00:07:19.200 How could I, how could I invest more time in it?

00:07:22.380 How can I double down on my efforts?

00:07:24.420 And so you start learning which way to, it's like, uh, do you remember those books when we were little called choose your own adventure?

00:07:30.460 Totally.

00:07:31.260 It's like that.

00:07:32.080 You're reading this book, right?

00:07:33.380 And you're, you're going through life and you come to this crossroads.

00:07:36.720 You're like, okay, now I've got two decisions to make.

00:07:38.460 I can choose option a, which leads me down this path.

00:07:40.620 And I can choose option B, which is turn around or whatever.

00:07:43.800 Pick one, just pick one.

00:07:46.200 And then, but you don't know what the next page says.

00:07:48.460 Well, that's life.

00:07:49.380 You don't know what's behind the next door.

00:07:51.740 You have to choose.

00:07:53.460 You have to actually open the door before you get to see what's behind it.

00:07:57.700 And that's a scary proposition.

00:07:59.200 But I think if we understood that, Hey, if this isn't, it's like you leave breadcrumbs, right?

00:08:05.680 If this isn't the path that I was meant to travel, then I just walk backwards a little bit and get back on the path and then take the other one.

00:08:11.060 But man, there's a, there's a huge lost opportunity cost and not exploring things that, that come into our hearts and minds, frankly, and our souls.

00:08:21.180 Like, I think, I mean, just because of my faith, I believe that we're divinely inspired and directed towards some of these things as well.

00:08:27.680 And yet we turn that stuff off because we're scared of the uncertainty that comes with it.

00:08:31.180 And then there's the flip side to this.

00:08:33.620 I mean, Chad Turner, he, he made a comment to Daryl's post here and he said, he said, I second that one.

00:08:39.220 I jumped into a handyman and woodworking and damn near lost my house to foreclosure.

00:08:44.320 God was watching out for us and I was able to get another job and straighten it out a week before the sell date.

00:08:49.420 So, I mean, that's, that's the extreme of, of, of the other, of the other side of that pendulum, right?

00:08:54.860 Well, it is.

00:08:55.660 And I think you got to be very careful of, of following a passion blindly because we do have obligations and responsibilities, right?

00:09:02.520 So if we're pursuing these things at the expense of our other obligations and responsibilities, okay, that's a problem.

00:09:08.280 Yeah.

00:09:08.860 Right.

00:09:09.080 I mean, it really is a problem when you are potentially going to lose your home and your family and everything else that goes with it to pursue a passion.

00:09:15.040 Maybe you're willing to pay that price.

00:09:16.940 I'm not willing to pay that, but I'm not going to judge what price another man is willing to pay, but he needs to have his eyes up and his head about him on a swivel, if you will, looking at what is the, what are the ramifications of the decisions he made?

00:09:30.560 He's making.

00:09:31.420 Yeah.

00:09:31.940 Well, and something that you reference all the time, Ryan, like how I'm referencing you while talking with you on your podcast.

00:09:38.160 I like that.

00:09:38.740 I like something definitely helping my ego.

00:09:41.000 Yeah.

00:09:41.480 Something that you've mentioned a lot, right?

00:09:43.780 Is you mentioned this, the time and season.

00:09:45.700 And I think, you know, if we use Chad's example, there's a time in the season, meaning that there's kind of a time bomb to this idea, right?

00:09:53.320 So he jumped into handyman woodworking.

00:09:55.100 Okay.

00:09:55.520 Well, are you going to jump in for how long?

00:09:57.760 And what does income have to be before you say, okay, you know what?

00:10:01.060 It's not working.

00:10:02.000 I'm going to stop, find the job before things get worse.

00:10:06.240 Right.

00:10:06.480 And I think it's important that we have that plan established.

00:10:08.760 So we know if we are going to do a sacrifice on our family and these other things that it, there's, there's a timeline to it.

00:10:16.820 And we understand that if we don't accomplish what we need to accomplish in that timeline, then we need to back off.

00:10:21.600 So yeah, I, I, I agree for the most part with that.

00:10:27.780 But again, I come back to the realistic expectations.

00:10:32.180 You also have to give yourself an opportunity for it to thrive.

00:10:35.860 Like you can't say, for example, oh man, I'm going to start this woodworking thing and I'm going to put up a website and do a blog and people and Instagram and people are going to buy my stuff.

00:10:43.600 And I have, yeah, I have 30 days to do it.

00:10:46.540 And if I don't, if nobody, if I'm not making a hundred thousand dollars in the next 30 days, I guess it wasn't meant for me.

00:10:51.760 No, no, no, no.

00:10:52.780 Like you have to have a realistic, realistic expectation.

00:10:55.440 How do you do that?

00:10:56.000 You find people who are thriving in the area you want to thrive in and ask them because they'll tell you, hey, realistically, this one night, well, give you an example.

00:11:03.740 When I started the podcast, I started another podcast that's for another conversation.

00:11:08.220 But when I started this podcast, order man, podcasts in particular, I talked to a lot of people who were successful in the podcasting world.

00:11:15.360 And overwhelmingly, the majority of them said, you have to do it for a year.

00:11:19.480 You have to do it solid for a year without missing a single episode before you can make a decision.

00:11:23.420 So I said, great, I'll do it for two years.

00:11:26.100 So when I started, I committed to doing a podcast, one podcast every single week for two years.

00:11:32.400 Before I was going to evaluate whether I wanted to continue down this path or not.

00:11:37.200 That's a long time, man.

00:11:38.200 That's a hundred plus episodes before I even contemplated throwing in the towel or continuing to double down.

00:11:45.680 Now, don't make any mistakes about that.

00:11:47.200 That doesn't mean that I wasn't course correcting along the way and wasn't improving and figuring out how I can do it better.

00:11:52.020 But I had committed solid commitment for two years.

00:11:54.440 Do you remember the first time that you checked the podcast stats and you had a listener?

00:12:02.160 Well, like how long did that take for you?

00:12:04.460 Like, hey, honey, someone listened.

00:12:07.300 She's like, no, I downloaded it seven times.

00:12:09.220 You're like, damn it.

00:12:10.420 Yeah.

00:12:10.640 Uh, I don't remember it for order of man.

00:12:13.460 Cause I had another podcast before.

00:12:15.480 Okay.

00:12:15.980 So I had, it was called wealth anatomy.

00:12:18.000 It was a financial planning podcast for medical professionals.

00:12:21.300 And I think the first day I really want to say it was maybe like seven to 10 downloads.

00:12:26.280 And the most I ever got as on like a day of downloads was maybe like 200, maybe a day.

00:12:33.660 And we did that the very first podcast I released with order of man, we did significantly more than that on the first episode, the very first episode.

00:12:44.200 That's awesome.

00:12:45.180 And now if we're not getting anywhere from 27 to 30,000 downloads a day, I'm like, what, what happened?

00:12:56.600 What's going on?

00:12:57.660 And so, yeah, I don't remember the first listener, but I do remember knowing that we had listeners and it's, it was pretty crazy, crazy stuff.

00:13:07.400 We're on a different level.

00:13:08.640 I think if I did a podcast and there was like five listeners, I'd be like, yes.

00:13:13.540 Well, it's hard.

00:13:14.500 I mean, yeah, you would be excited.

00:13:16.080 And it's so hard because you get to a certain level and this is anywhere, any area of life.

00:13:22.200 And it's hard to be empathetic, right?

00:13:24.000 So we get to the level that we are with this podcast, for example, and I look back at somebody starting and they're like, oh, you know, I've got like a hundred downloads a day.

00:13:31.680 And I'm like, oh, that's it.

00:13:33.780 And that's the knee jerk reaction.

00:13:35.600 But then I, it's hard for us to remember what it was like when we were there.

00:13:39.660 It's the same thing.

00:13:40.340 I think of like jujitsu, for example, it would be, it's harder probably for you when, when you're maybe instructing somebody on a specific hold or move or whatever it may be.

00:13:50.180 And you're like, why can't you understand this?

00:13:52.120 Like, why don't you get this?

00:13:54.120 Well, you've been doing it for a decade, dude.

00:13:56.600 Like, like give the guy a break for a minute.

00:13:58.920 But it's really hard when you achieve some level of mastery to look back and remember when you were the, the, the apprentice, if you will.

00:14:08.020 Yeah.

00:14:08.120 It's hard to have that perspective.

00:14:09.540 Yeah.

00:14:09.800 When I was, when I was running my own consulting firm, a buddy of mine was thinking about getting out of his industry.

00:14:15.040 And I thought, dude, I can train you up like no problem.

00:14:18.540 I can brain dump it in a week.

00:14:20.580 You can know what I know.

00:14:21.880 And we met once and I was like, yeah, this isn't going to work.

00:14:25.200 Yeah.

00:14:25.900 Because I realized I'm like, man, I I've taken for granted all the information I know and how much he did not know.

00:14:32.260 Yeah.

00:14:32.580 And I just accepted it as common knowledge.

00:14:34.740 And, and then I didn't realize it until we started hashing through things.

00:14:37.540 I'm like, oh, wait, this is going to take you like four years to learn.

00:14:40.660 And there's so many traps that come with that.

00:14:42.600 First of all, you get into the comparison trap because you look at somebody who you feel like maybe you're on an equal or level playing field in one aspect of life.

00:14:51.620 And then you're not as good or better than this individual in another area.

00:14:54.920 And you're like, what's wrong with me?

00:14:57.640 Nothing's wrong with you other than you don't have 3000 days of practicing this skillset.

00:15:04.760 That's it.

00:15:05.880 That's the only difference between you and this guy who you're comparing yourself to.

00:15:10.760 And then the other trap is that even at the level of success, I do this.

00:15:14.780 This is the trap I fall into is I look at guys like Andy Frisilla and Joe Rogan and Tim Ferriss and Mike Rowe and some of these like high level podcasters.

00:15:29.700 And I think to myself, well, why don't I have that level of success?

00:15:32.800 Why am I not getting those download numbers?

00:15:34.800 Why am I not reaching that many people?

00:15:36.780 And it's very, very disheartening to me.

00:15:39.560 It's discouraging to me.

00:15:41.060 But I think every once in a while, it's okay to stop and just look behind you for a minute and say, whoa, I didn't realize how far I had to actually come in a matter of three to four years.

00:15:52.320 I think as high achieving men, we have a tendency to keep our eye on the prize, which look, that's a good thing.

00:15:56.960 You should have aspirations.

00:15:58.260 You should have goals.

00:15:59.280 You should have things that you're striving to do bigger and greater and more grand than you are right now.

00:16:05.000 But I also think there's value in just stopping, assessing where you are, assessing where you been and in a way, giving yourself a pat on the back and saying, you know what?

00:16:15.880 I'm doing good.

00:16:16.640 I'm good here.

00:16:17.360 Keep going.

00:16:18.140 The things that you're doing are right.

00:16:19.320 Just keep going in another two years and another five years.

00:16:22.560 I remember vividly.

00:16:24.860 I was just thinking about this the other night, man.

00:16:27.020 I can't wait.

00:16:27.920 I can't wait till we have 200,000 downloads to podcast downloads per month.

00:16:33.800 I can't wait for that.

00:16:35.620 And now I look at that and say, dude, if I, if I had 2000, excuse me, 200,000 downloads in a month, I would think that there was something wrong with the podcast.

00:16:44.380 Like the system is broken or people have jumped ship or something because we're significantly better than that.

00:16:49.880 It just, it just takes time and exponentially grows and just, just give yourself permission to continue to exercise and do the things that are going to produce the results.

00:16:57.960 Inevitably, they will take care of themselves.

00:17:00.020 Yeah.

00:17:00.560 Well, and that's why in the iron council, um, some of the battle teams, what we do at the beginning of our calls is we celebrate the wins, right?

00:17:07.520 We, we give an opportunity to discuss any up at nights that guys need to make sure that we talk about in the calls and we celebrate the wins because like you said, high caliber men focused on improving.

00:17:17.300 We have a tendency to just constantly grind out and go, okay, improve, improve, improve.

00:17:21.960 And we, we need to look back, like you said, and, and, and realize how far we've come.

00:17:26.460 Yeah.

00:17:26.840 Yeah, exactly.

00:17:27.560 Spot on.

00:17:28.140 Spot on.

00:17:28.680 That's one question down, by the way.

00:17:30.160 Woo.

00:17:30.500 17 minutes for one question.

00:17:32.460 What else we got?

00:17:33.400 This is why it takes us three weeks to get through all of the questions.

00:17:37.900 But, but the cool thing is, is we probably answered like 20 questions with all of our comments.

00:17:42.840 We did.

00:17:43.320 We did.

00:17:43.800 All right.

00:17:44.840 So Mike Head, uh, Headleski, he doesn't have a question.

00:17:48.960 He has a comment.

00:17:50.020 Some of these questions are phenomenal.

00:17:52.760 And you're right, Mike.

00:17:54.020 Absolutely.

00:17:54.480 So keep them coming guys.

00:17:55.460 They are coming.

00:17:56.000 We've got some good.

00:17:56.840 I'm, I'm actually pleasantly, now I won't say surprise, but I'm, I'm pleasantly, I'm glad

00:18:02.780 that we have so many good questions.

00:18:04.460 Every once in a while, we get in some weird ones, but these are some good questions.

00:18:07.740 What else we got?

00:18:09.540 I don't even know.

00:18:10.640 Don't even attempt, man.

00:18:12.300 Dude.

00:18:13.240 Pedreg?

00:18:14.020 Pedreg?

00:18:14.340 Pedreg?

00:18:14.760 That's how I would say that.

00:18:15.420 Pedreg?

00:18:16.320 Alphabet P.

00:18:17.260 Yep.

00:18:17.600 Right?

00:18:17.900 Mr. Alphabet.

00:18:18.960 Mr. Alphabet.

00:18:20.840 Pedreg.

00:18:21.440 Sorry.

00:18:22.120 I'm not going to even try on the last name.

00:18:25.000 And we've mentioned this before.

00:18:26.240 It's not that, uh, it's not that we're being judgmental.

00:18:29.840 It's, it's out of ignorance that I cannot pronounce your name.

00:18:32.840 So you've spoken about coaching football before.

00:18:36.020 What is your football experience?

00:18:38.000 I'm a high, uh, I'm a high school.

00:18:41.400 Has been.

00:18:42.120 Yep.

00:18:42.380 That never was, but I love the game and I love coaching it.

00:18:46.220 Currently I'm coaching a team of 11 year olds.

00:18:48.560 We've only won one game so far this season.

00:18:50.700 And I've routinely been getting out of collective, collective asses kicked yesterday.

00:18:55.560 I thought I was going to, to drown in a river of tears.

00:18:59.440 Just looking for some different points of view here.

00:19:01.880 How do you approach coaching toughness and aggressiveness in your young boys?

00:19:05.580 Man, I had to let go of my ego this year and it was really, really hard.

00:19:09.360 So last year I coached six teams, not football teams, but six teams throughout the year.

00:19:14.480 So I coached my two oldest boys.

00:19:16.260 I coached both of their football teams.

00:19:18.240 In the same season.

00:19:19.480 Same season.

00:19:20.080 Yep.

00:19:20.280 Both of their basketball teams in the same season and both, both of their baseball teams

00:19:24.220 in the same season.

00:19:25.020 Because I had a commitment that I'm going to be as involved as I possibly can in doing

00:19:29.620 this.

00:19:30.860 Now, this year I switched that up and I realized I really want to coach my oldest son's football

00:19:37.860 team.

00:19:38.220 But I realized that that was my ego speaking and that for me to continue to coach his football

00:19:46.700 team would actually be doing him a disservice because my football experience is I was a

00:19:52.940 slightly better than average high school football player.

00:19:56.580 That's it.

00:19:57.320 That's it.

00:19:58.000 I didn't go on to college.

00:20:00.220 Um, I, I've never really coached at a level older than nine and 10 year old boys.

00:20:05.320 I just don't know enough.

00:20:08.060 Could I learn?

00:20:08.660 Sure.

00:20:09.240 But I just don't at this point know enough that would serve my boys, my, and when I say

00:20:14.460 my boys, I'm talking about my team, not just my biological children, but my team.

00:20:18.340 And I felt like me coaching my oldest this year would be doing them a disservice.

00:20:25.720 So I got rid of my ego and I said, you know what?

00:20:27.960 And it was hard because I had to tell my son, Hey, for the first time, I'm not going to coach

00:20:31.120 your football team.

00:20:31.760 And he was a little upset about that.

00:20:32.980 I was upset about that, but we got him involved in a great team.

00:20:37.080 In fact, a championship team.

00:20:38.560 They won their championship, uh, this, this year and last year, they won it last year too.

00:20:43.580 And he learned so much more about the game and about life and hard work and dedication.

00:20:51.880 And he learned so much more than I felt I had the capacity to teach him.

00:20:55.800 That sucks, man.

00:20:57.740 Cause I want to be that role.

00:20:59.480 Like that's the role I want to fill.

00:21:01.700 Yeah.

00:21:02.240 So you have to ask yourself, is your ego getting in the way of the progression of the people

00:21:06.920 that you care about?

00:21:08.380 And if it is, then it's time to check yourself.

00:21:11.580 Now, if it isn't, and you feel like, no, I can still learn.

00:21:14.620 Then you owe it to yourself and you owe it to your boys to invest in learning how to be a good coach.

00:21:19.880 And part of that means the techniques, part of that means the skillset, part of that means spending time and hours watching game film.

00:21:27.860 Part of that means that you're bringing on other coaches that could help with your deficiencies and your weaknesses.

00:21:32.980 Uh, part of that might mean interviewing other coaches that may help you people that you know, who are great leaders of boys and do everything that you can.

00:21:41.480 If you committed to doing it, then you have to do everything you can.

00:21:44.040 And I believe that you can, this coach coaches, coaching is an interesting phenomenon.

00:21:48.800 You know, I take some of the, some of the, the, the bet, like Bill Belichick.

00:21:52.500 All right.

00:21:52.840 Let's take him, whether you like him or not, or the Patriots or not, or Brady or not, or whatever.

00:21:56.420 It doesn't matter.

00:21:57.140 The point of the matter is, is that they are an incredible football team and Bill Belichick.

00:22:04.040 I don't know if he played college football or professional football, but there's no doubt in my mind that he is not as good as some of the players that he has on his team.

00:22:11.780 Right?

00:22:12.140 Like we can, we can all agree that he is not a, a, a player of football to the degree that some of the guys that he is, that he's coaching.

00:22:21.160 And yet he is a better coach, probably I'm assuming here than he was ever a football player.

00:22:28.240 So coaching, coaching is an interesting phenomenon because you don't have to be the best practitioner in order to be the best coach because it requires a different skillset.

00:22:39.840 So don't, I don't, I think you got to be careful of saying, well, I don't, you know, I didn't, I wasn't a great football player.

00:22:46.580 That doesn't mean you can't be a great football coach.

00:22:49.800 Yeah.

00:22:50.120 So, but, but, but if you're going to invest and you're going to do this, then you owe it to yourself and your kids to be the best that you absolutely possibly can be.

00:23:01.660 That's what I've got.

00:23:02.940 I love it.

00:23:03.900 I love it.

00:23:04.380 One of my, one of my favorites, uh, opportunities I had last year, cause I've always coached my son's basketball team.

00:23:11.420 And last year when I was coaching his team, a high school coach decided to stop coaching high school and coached his son.

00:23:20.540 That was the same age as my son.

00:23:22.840 And so he was a phenomenal coach.

00:23:25.640 And so I would bug Larry and go, Hey, Larry, can I come to your practice?

00:23:30.440 Like I made him my coach.

00:23:32.300 I started getting coached from him.

00:23:34.000 So I know how to coach my, my team even better.

00:23:36.780 I love right.

00:23:37.520 Then I was initially in it.

00:23:38.600 It was, it was highly valuable.

00:23:40.760 It's interesting, Ryan, because we've, we talk about like, I totally agree.

00:23:45.740 I think there's many scenarios where coaches are amazing coaches, but they weren't amazing players or fighters or whatever.

00:23:53.180 Right.

00:23:53.220 Um, and it's really interesting.

00:23:55.340 I always wonder how did they get into that scenario?

00:23:58.060 Right?

00:23:58.540 Like in the world of MMA, there's a, there's a coach.

00:24:01.660 He coached used to coach a team called Nova Uniao out of Brazil.

00:24:05.360 His name is Andre Pedanaris.

00:24:07.100 And if you guys look up Andre Pedanaris, he is who gave, he gave BJ Penn, his black belt, Jose Aldo trained underneath him.

00:24:15.500 Vitor Shaolin trained underneath him.

00:24:17.520 Gustavo Dante has trained underneath him.

00:24:19.140 Like he is arguably, in my opinion, um, equal to Jackson's camp in New Mexico and probably one of the best MMA coaches.

00:24:28.540 Total fights, MMA.

00:24:30.140 I think he only has two.

00:24:32.040 I don't think it's all that perplexing though.

00:24:33.960 Really?

00:24:34.520 Yeah.

00:24:34.700 But I always wondered like, how did these guys go?

00:24:37.400 Hey, you know what?

00:24:38.180 Andre, I know you only have two fights, but you know what?

00:24:40.340 I'm going to make you my coach.

00:24:42.420 Or did, was it a slow enough progression that it only took a world champ to come from him for other guys to go, okay, he's got something special.

00:24:51.660 You know what I mean?

00:24:52.340 And he, and he had to create that momentum to prove that he was a good coach regardless of experience.

00:24:57.220 Yeah.

00:24:57.440 I mean, you do, you do, right?

00:24:58.900 So, so anybody who's looking for coaching, whether that's professionally in sports or, or a business coach, you need to look at the results they're producing.

00:25:07.780 It's, it's the scripture by their fruits, you shall know thee.

00:25:10.180 And when it comes to the coaching perspective, it's either the fruits that they have created for themselves, which by the way, doesn't always mean that it translates into teaching other people.

00:25:20.300 This is the E-myth, right?

00:25:21.660 I think that's Michael Gerber, the E-myth, right?

00:25:24.400 Which I'm a, I'm a great practitioner of this skillset, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you can translate that into leadership, for example.

00:25:32.560 Yeah.

00:25:33.340 So another metric you can use is does this individual produce results for other people?

00:25:40.180 Cause now this is a different skillset and he's still proving his worth, but I don't think it's all that perplexing that a guy like this gentleman you're talking about recognizes in himself that, hey, I don't possess the mentality, the attitude, the skillset, the size, the physicality, the whatever, but I really love the game.

00:26:01.960 You know, I love martial arts or I, in this case, I love football, but I'm just not athletic, but I love the game.

00:26:10.180 How else can I be involved?

00:26:11.960 I think about that with referees.

00:26:13.300 I'm like, why would the hell would anybody want to be a referee?

00:26:16.660 Like go play.

00:26:18.140 They probably did.

00:26:20.540 And they just, they just didn't have it.

00:26:23.060 I mean, nobody talks about this.

00:26:26.400 Here's the reality.

00:26:27.780 You can't do everything.

00:26:29.920 All right.

00:26:30.480 You can't do everything you put your mind to.

00:26:33.440 I know mommy and daddy told you that.

00:26:35.180 And other people are telling you that.

00:26:36.220 And the self-help gurus are telling you that you might do everything that you possibly can and still not be good at something.

00:26:43.080 You're selling yourself short though.

00:26:46.420 When you say that, oh, I was just meant to do this.

00:26:49.040 Maybe you weren't.

00:26:51.460 Maybe you were, you were uniquely designed and have some unique gifts and talents and abilities that would be better used in another capacity.

00:27:00.100 Maybe even in the same arena, just a different capacity.

00:27:03.760 Open yourself up, expand your, your horizons to that possibility.

00:27:08.040 Because this guy that you're talking about, I can't remember his name.

00:27:11.740 He's based on what you're telling me.

00:27:14.340 He has opened himself up to a world that would not probably have been possible had he simply been a practitioner.

00:27:22.120 Yeah.

00:27:22.820 He dropped the ego and realized, man, I'm not great at this element, but I understand technique.

00:27:29.080 I understand motivation.

00:27:30.400 I understand lighting a fire under people.

00:27:32.720 I understand.

00:27:33.400 I can see, I can see the field.

00:27:35.980 I can see the arena.

00:27:36.900 I can see things other people can, I can inspire this in other people.

00:27:40.500 I should teach this to somebody.

00:27:43.460 And he teaches it to somebody and that somebody produces results.

00:27:46.520 And he's like, oh, I could teach this to somebody else.

00:27:48.360 And, and that, and then he's always in constantly improving the caliber of people he's teaching.

00:27:52.200 And then he gets a guy, one of his pupils, who wasn't a world champion, who started as an amateur potentially, but became a world champion under his tutelage.

00:28:02.600 And now another world champion says, whoa, look at this guy he created.

00:28:05.560 I want to go talk with him.

00:28:06.600 And then he creates another world.

00:28:08.180 Whoa, look at this guy.

00:28:09.520 Now he's had two world champions.

00:28:11.260 And then he builds it from there.

00:28:12.920 I don't think it's all that perplexing.

00:28:14.240 I really don't.

00:28:15.400 Yeah.

00:28:16.180 I love it.

00:28:16.980 You know, it's, um, just because I'm always cracking jokes.

00:28:20.120 Uh, have you seen those despair posters?

00:28:22.980 Have you heard of this before?

00:28:24.200 I don't think so.

00:28:25.220 So they're, they mock like motivational posters that people put in offices and there's, and there's one and it has a French fries on it and says, because not everyone can become an astronaut.

00:28:36.000 Hey, look, man, and if you're going to be a fry cook, be the best damn fry cook.

00:28:43.220 I'm not, I'm not kidding.

00:28:43.980 I'm not, I'm not kidding.

00:28:45.160 Be the best damn fry cook that ever cooked a batch of fries.

00:28:50.400 Yeah.

00:28:51.100 Be the best, whatever you're doing, be the best.

00:28:55.120 If you're going to podcast right now, you and I should be the best podcasters known to man ever.

00:29:01.280 No pressure in the history of podcasting.

00:29:03.340 No, we should have pressure.

00:29:04.920 Yeah.

00:29:05.280 You know, I was at the gym this morning and I was working on, uh, on some of my lifts and I missed my, my PR, my personal best, my personal record.

00:29:13.400 And I was pissed.

00:29:15.640 I came up like five pounds short from my PR.

00:29:18.400 I was pissed off.

00:29:20.060 And, and, you know, everybody would have said, oh, it's okay.

00:29:24.180 It's an off day.

00:29:24.780 It's this.

00:29:25.300 No, screw that.

00:29:27.240 It's not an off day.

00:29:29.300 Like it shouldn't be an off day.

00:29:30.880 Like I can hold myself to a high standard.

00:29:33.180 Somebody the other day told, said this, like, oh, don't be so hard on yourself.

00:29:36.500 No bullshit, man.

00:29:38.380 Nobody else is going to be hard on me.

00:29:39.960 Everybody else is going to expect me to be mediocre and pat me on the back when I really didn't do anything.

00:29:45.820 That's what everybody does.

00:29:48.360 So I'm not going to accept that from myself.

00:29:50.480 So yeah, I'm going to put myself under pressure.

00:29:52.240 And when I don't perform, I'm going to be pissed off about that.

00:29:56.100 So pissed off that it drives me to be better next time.

00:29:59.340 Not pissed off where I get discouraged, but pissed off.

00:30:01.800 Like I'm going to just destroy all the weights in the gym next time I come in here because I'm pissed off.

00:30:07.540 I couldn't do it yesterday.

00:30:09.460 Like we got to hold ourselves to a higher standard in our families, as fathers, as husbands, as business owners, as community leaders, as weightlifters, as podcasters, as trash collectors, as teachers, as coaches.

00:30:20.420 As coaches, you have to be the flag bearer of the standard because nobody else is going to hold you to the level you should be holding yourself to.

00:30:28.040 And that's the benefit of the Iron Council.

00:30:30.840 It really is.

00:30:31.840 Like we, you have created a culture that promotes that kind of conversation.

00:30:38.360 I hope so.

00:30:39.680 I hope so, man.

00:30:40.780 That's the goal.

00:30:42.080 Yeah, that's cool.

00:30:43.480 Chris Dalton.

00:30:44.220 Are we through two questions already?

00:30:45.920 I know.

00:30:46.540 I know.

00:30:46.840 We're rolling.

00:30:47.340 We're rolling.

00:30:47.940 Chris Dalton.

00:30:49.460 We need to start a flat versus curved discussion.

00:30:53.440 Hashtag curvy.

00:30:54.920 There's no discussion to be had.

00:30:56.580 It's already, it's already been solved.

00:30:59.080 Flat brim.

00:31:00.180 Yeah.

00:31:00.500 And you know, it's funny as somebody the other day said, hey, when are you going to, when are you going to have like a curved brim?

00:31:07.900 I don't know, something or whatever.

00:31:09.020 And I said, when we start order of women.

00:31:12.220 He didn't like that.

00:31:13.300 Oh boy.

00:31:16.540 And Chris, you just destroyed a good hashtag curvy and now it's about a hat that's ugly.

00:31:22.340 So I'm not sure what's going on.

00:31:23.740 True.

00:31:24.240 True.

00:31:24.940 All right.

00:31:25.400 What else we got?

00:31:26.440 All right.

00:31:26.780 Brian Wells, what's the best way to get noticed at work and get ahead other than working hard and going above and beyond work in outside sales.

00:31:35.800 And I don't have much visibility to corporate day-to-day basis.

00:31:39.280 Any and all advice is appreciated.

00:31:41.220 Well, what's wrong with working hard and going above and beyond?

00:31:44.940 That's the advice.

00:31:47.460 What's the best way to get noticed and work ahead or get ahead?

00:31:51.380 Work hard and go above and beyond.

00:31:52.760 That's, that's how you do it.

00:31:56.200 Like you, you take on assignments, you take on projects.

00:31:59.460 When you do it, you, you, you do the things that people won't even potentially see.

00:32:04.140 I heard this statement made the other day and I didn't really look into it, but it sounded good to me, which was that when Steve Jobs was initially designing the, uh, the iPad and the iPhone and all these devices, he was actually redesigning the, the, you would know more about this than me.

00:32:21.340 But like the, the, the, the motherboard or whatever, the computer board inside of the, the phone itself, that it had to be designed beautifully as well.

00:32:28.280 Why?

00:32:28.560 Nobody would ever see that.

00:32:30.880 It's because the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.

00:32:33.860 So when you show up at work and you notice that there's a piece of trash on the floor, you pick the piece of trash up.

00:32:39.620 Or as my friend, Andy Frisilla says, when you go to the bathroom and you pee on the toilet seat, you wipe the little pee droplets up because that's what exceptional people do.

00:32:50.020 When, and on the bathroom theme, if the toilet paper is out, then you replace the toilet paper, even though it's not quote your job.

00:32:59.240 When the boss says, Hey man, I really need some help here.

00:33:01.560 Can you stay a few minutes later coming a few minutes early?

00:33:03.420 And you don't say, well, only if you promote me and pay me more, you go above and beyond.

00:33:09.860 And to our last statement we made on the previous question, which was you be the standard, hold yourself accountable to the highest possible quality and caliber that you can, and you will not be able to go unnoticed.

00:33:28.680 There's a great book called so good.

00:33:29.920 They can't ignore you.

00:33:30.600 I think it's by, is it by Cal?

00:33:32.600 I don't want to misquote it by Cal Newport.

00:33:34.300 I want to say it's Cal Newport.

00:33:35.220 I'll have to look here in a second, but be so good that it would be absolutely impossible for anybody to overlook you, which means that you're going to come in early.

00:33:47.260 You're going to put a little extra effort on the work.

00:33:49.700 You're going to go the extra mile.

00:33:51.120 You're going to make the extra phone call.

00:33:52.620 You're going to, you're going to lead other people when you're not the quote unquote leader.

00:33:56.720 You're going to assist and help raise up this, this new group of employees that is coming in, even though you might need not be the boss.

00:34:03.920 You might provide resources and connections to people that they didn't even ask.

00:34:08.820 This is the whole theme again about the iron council.

00:34:11.280 The whole theme about this month within the iron council is becoming a man of value.

00:34:15.260 Make yourself so valuable, so valuable that it would be impossible to overlook you.

00:34:23.560 Seth Godin wrote another book called Linchpin.

00:34:26.220 It's another great book on the subject.

00:34:28.140 Be the best and just have some faith that over time you will excel.

00:34:33.820 It's a principle.

00:34:34.780 It's a universal law.

00:34:37.240 It just works.

00:34:40.260 So there you go.

00:34:41.320 Cool.

00:34:41.460 Brian, I think you could, you know, to what Brian's, uh, to what Ryan's saying, you could own this in a way like you do out, you know, outside sales.

00:34:52.280 Okay.

00:34:52.580 We'll own like pretend that the company is yours.

00:34:55.660 You own the company.

00:34:58.120 What strategies, what things do you need to do to, to better outside sales?

00:35:03.320 And then what I would do is create accountability, come up with strategy and communicate it out to who you report to.

00:35:09.760 Hey, I want to step up my game.

00:35:11.480 Here's my strategy.

00:35:12.560 I'm going to do this much.

00:35:13.620 I'm going to visit this many houses like, and communicate that out, generate the accountability.

00:35:18.400 See if you can get other guys on your team to ramp up as well and drive forward as a team, as if you own the company, it'll get noticed.

00:35:28.140 If it's authentic.

00:35:30.200 Yeah.

00:35:30.580 If you're not gaming it, right.

00:35:31.700 Cause you could game it.

00:35:32.680 And then what happens is you just become annoying.

00:35:34.620 You're the brown noser, right?

00:35:37.200 You're just, you're not doing it with noble intentions.

00:35:39.100 You're doing it to get noticed.

00:35:41.760 What if instead of doing it to get noticed, you did it to be the best.

00:35:47.060 That's, that's a different motive and it will produce different outcomes, different results.

00:35:52.540 Totally make it about results and being honorable.

00:35:54.920 Right.

00:35:55.420 For sure.

00:35:56.180 Absolutely.

00:35:56.800 People see it.

00:35:57.500 All right.

00:35:58.000 Chris Dalton, an actual question this time.

00:36:00.520 What is your favorite place outside of the U S that you would want to travel to again or for the first time and why?

00:36:07.980 Well, I, the only time I ever traveled outside the U S was to go to Iraq and I wouldn't really want to go there again.

00:36:13.240 So I've been outside of the U S I've been to Ireland because I flew from New York or Maine or wherever we were to Ireland into, uh, Kuwait.

00:36:26.560 And then from Kuwait into Iraq.

00:36:31.340 That's the only place I've been to outside of the States.

00:36:33.400 Where would I go?

00:36:34.040 I'd really like to see Italy.

00:36:36.120 My wife and I have, um, goals and, and some plans in place that we're going to actually go see Italy.

00:36:40.940 Uh, I don't, I don't like have a huge desire to travel abroad necessarily, but I think that's one area I would definitely be interested in checking out.

00:36:51.680 I'm interested in, like, I'm really interested in ancient Rome.

00:36:54.140 I mean, Roman, ancient Roman history is fascinating to me.

00:36:56.420 So to be able to go there and, and see a little bit of that and what it was all about and be exposed to that culture is fascinating.

00:37:04.720 It's interesting to me.

00:37:06.340 Yeah.

00:37:06.820 Where would you go?

00:37:07.300 That's actually a favorite place outside the U S I, you know, I think, I think Rome is beautiful.

00:37:13.900 Greece, uh, Asian, I travel quite a bit.

00:37:16.720 So I've been to a lot of places.

00:37:18.580 Um, you know, I don't know.

00:37:21.600 Travel again, I'd say Thailand.

00:37:24.660 Uh, last time I, yeah.

00:37:26.180 I went to Thailand for about a week, uh, a couple of years ago and we just spent too much time in Bangkok and I wanted to go further South.

00:37:34.840 I like to get remote.

00:37:36.660 So I'd love to go South of Thailand and hang out in a boat on a beach somewhere for a solid week.

00:37:44.420 And maybe something else would be like the Amazon jungle.

00:37:47.300 I'd love to chill in the jungle for, for a few weeks.

00:37:50.940 That'd be awesome.

00:37:51.720 I wouldn't do the beach thing.

00:37:53.060 I'm not a beach guy.

00:37:53.920 Like my wife's always like, let's go to the beach.

00:37:55.380 I'm like, and do what?

00:37:56.860 She's like, just sit there and enjoy it.

00:37:58.220 I'm like, no, I want to go hike.

00:37:59.920 I want to explore.

00:38:00.840 So like the Amazon thing sounds like amazing to me.

00:38:03.020 That would be cool.

00:38:04.040 Yeah.

00:38:05.080 Might die, but.

00:38:06.420 You might die.

00:38:07.000 You might get attacked by some gigantic prehistoric insects, but it'd be a cool way to go.

00:38:13.800 Be fun.

00:38:14.640 That's right.

00:38:15.680 Okay.

00:38:16.000 What else?

00:38:16.320 All right.

00:38:17.120 Alex Schwartz.

00:38:18.160 What does honor mean to you guys?

00:38:20.180 And what does it mean to conduct yourself with honor and integrity?

00:38:24.060 I'm curious your takes, uh, especially after this past UFC fight.

00:38:28.480 So these questions were from what?

00:38:29.980 Three, four weeks ago.

00:38:31.060 And yeah.

00:38:31.600 So he's talking could be, could be then Connor.

00:38:34.220 Yeah.

00:38:36.040 Um, well, so I'll share a story with you.

00:38:38.680 When I was growing up, I must've been, gosh, I must've been 14, 13, 14 years old.

00:38:44.140 And my stepfather asked me to go out and mow the lawn and we had a pretty big lawn.

00:38:48.220 And then he asked me to, there was a big hole in the grass.

00:38:50.820 And I think one of the dogs had probably dug up a hole or something.

00:38:53.260 He says, there's go mow the lawn.

00:38:54.860 There's a big hole in the grass.

00:38:56.420 I need you to fill it up and then, and then cut out a patch from here and patch it with

00:39:00.880 grass in that hole.

00:39:02.080 I said, okay, I'll go do that.

00:39:03.440 So I went out and mowed the lawn.

00:39:04.600 And then I, I got to that hole and I was so tired after mowing the lawn that I just cut

00:39:09.540 off a piece of grass from another area, which he said.

00:39:12.060 And, and I, and I just threw that chunk of grass in the hole without filling it up or

00:39:16.560 anything, leveling it off or nothing.

00:39:17.660 I just threw it in there.

00:39:19.180 And so I came back in the house and I said, Hey, I'm, I'm done with the chores.

00:39:22.500 And he says, okay, let me go check.

00:39:24.120 And he, that's one of the things he's like, I want to check.

00:39:26.260 I want to make sure you did it to the standard, which I, which I did appreciate about him.

00:39:29.820 Now I didn't appreciate that, but I appreciate it now.

00:39:33.300 So he went, he came outside.

00:39:34.700 He's like, Oh, the lawns look really good.

00:39:36.200 You edged it.

00:39:36.720 You, you weed whacked, you mowed really well that he was really particular.

00:39:39.520 The stripes are good.

00:39:40.040 He says, you did a good job.

00:39:40.800 It looks good.

00:39:41.460 And then he went back to the hole.

00:39:42.620 And as soon as he started walking back that I knew I was in trouble and he went back in

00:39:46.720 there and he pitched the thing up and he's like, Hey, you didn't even, you didn't put

00:39:50.440 any dirt in here.

00:39:51.540 Like you just, you just cut out this piece of grass and you just threw it in here like

00:39:55.800 this.

00:39:56.480 I said, yeah, he's, he's like, why?

00:39:58.000 I said, well, I was just tired.

00:39:59.500 He's like, you know, this was a lesson.

00:40:01.620 Like we had, we had a hard and strained relationship in many ways, but this is a lesson that really stood

00:40:05.460 out to me.

00:40:05.820 And one that was, that's continued to be very valuable for me.

00:40:09.260 He said, character is what you do when no one is looking.

00:40:15.240 Character is what you do when no one is looking.

00:40:17.280 And man, I remember that it hit me like a sledgehammer in the chest.

00:40:21.260 And I thought, Oh man, I mean, I was 13 years old.

00:40:24.160 And I remember that lesson 25 years later, quarter of a century later, I still remember

00:40:29.420 the lesson and the words and the way in which he said it.

00:40:32.600 And that's what honor is to me.

00:40:35.740 It's doing the right thing.

00:40:38.920 Even when nobody's looking, even when you won't benefit from it, even when it possibly

00:40:44.020 could hurt you or hinder you or keep you back, honor is about doing what is right for the

00:40:52.780 right reasons, regardless of the outcome and the consequence of honorable actions.

00:41:01.880 So much so that potentially the greatest sacrifice you could die in the name of being honorable.

00:41:08.140 So what is honor to me?

00:41:10.980 It's very similar to that character.

00:41:13.060 It's doing the right thing for the right reasons, regardless of the consequence.

00:41:18.900 And even if nobody is looking, that's my definition of it.

00:41:25.580 What would you say?

00:41:27.720 So I think integrity and on, I, I, I actually like to make these two different things.

00:41:34.080 So I think one is integrity is, is spot on to kind of what you're saying about on, right?

00:41:38.420 I think it's doing the correct thing.

00:41:41.620 Um, you know, you, you've used that analogy, Ryan, the integrity gap, right?

00:41:45.960 This gap between your actions versus what you know you should be doing.

00:41:50.080 So to have integrity is to do what you know you should be doing.

00:41:53.160 And it's not just doing it.

00:41:55.360 It's doing it the way it was meant to be done.

00:41:59.180 True.

00:41:59.840 And I think that's profound from an integrity perspective.

00:42:02.820 Honor, this is just new for me because I was, I was just reading Pressfield's book of manly

00:42:08.480 men and in the earlier parts of that book, he shared a story, uh, I believe it was in the

00:42:15.200 old Testament, um, about honor.

00:42:18.480 And this is, this is my interpretation of, of what he read or what he wrote, but I, but

00:42:24.440 I loved it.

00:42:25.120 I really, really loved it.

00:42:26.460 And he suggests that honor is being present to your divine nature of who you are.

00:42:34.520 And, and it's funny because when we, when we think of ourselves as divine,

00:42:38.920 by default, we, we elevate ourselves and we think, oh my gosh, like I am better than who

00:42:47.500 I am, you know, and, and you, you step into those shoes of, of maybe what God intended

00:42:53.320 you to be.

00:42:54.520 And, and that drives action, but that's, that's kind of my new definition of honor nowadays.

00:42:59.660 Yeah.

00:42:59.880 No, it's interesting.

00:43:00.740 I mean, there's so, the words are so correlated and there's so many definitions of honor.

00:43:05.620 I think at the end of the day, you find what works for you and drives you to do the things

00:43:09.160 that you know you should be doing.

00:43:10.240 You know, I, if that, if that, if that definition that you just presented Kip serves you well,

00:43:16.480 I think that, that that's a good thing.

00:43:19.140 If somebody else has a definition that serves them well, that's a good thing.

00:43:23.060 You know, the other thing I question is honor subjective.

00:43:25.420 You know, I look at extreme jihadists, for example, and I think, are these people acting

00:43:29.900 with honor?

00:43:30.500 They would probably say they are.

00:43:32.120 Yeah.

00:43:32.900 And we would probably say they're not.

00:43:35.380 So what's the, what's the difference?

00:43:38.000 It's true.

00:43:38.400 I, I, I believe that there is a definitive standard, whether people adhere to it or not.

00:43:46.820 And people say, well, what is that standard?

00:43:48.380 It's the standard I've determined.

00:43:50.400 Yeah.

00:43:50.960 That you define for yourself.

00:43:52.280 Right.

00:43:52.520 That's what I'm saying.

00:43:53.220 It's like, I, I think that, that honor is acting in accordance with the standard that

00:43:58.440 I believe is, is the standard itself.

00:44:01.020 Yeah.

00:44:01.420 So it is a little bit subjective, which makes it a really hard thing to, to identify.

00:44:06.600 Hey, you know what?

00:44:07.280 Right now onto his, his secondary question about the, the post fight fight antics.

00:44:13.540 Man, there was a lot of, a lot of back and forth about this.

00:44:15.920 I think Khabib, I think he lost his cool, man.

00:44:18.160 I think he, I think he shamed himself.

00:44:20.540 I honestly do.

00:44:21.520 And people say, well, what about Connor?

00:44:22.820 What about Connor?

00:44:23.340 We're not talking about Connor right now.

00:44:25.080 We're talking about the actions of one individual who I think, and he knows.

00:44:28.640 That's why he apologized for it.

00:44:31.020 He knows he was out of character, out of integrity, out of honor.

00:44:35.300 He knows that.

00:44:36.920 I think he allowed, look, I'm not saying that I wouldn't have done the same thing or I would

00:44:40.760 have.

00:44:41.160 All I'm saying is that I think he knows that he acted out of character for who he was and

00:44:46.600 who he wants to be.

00:44:48.240 Yeah.

00:44:49.320 And, and I think he let the emotions of the fight and look, I get it.

00:44:53.960 I understand not, not to the level that he's competing.

00:44:56.440 I don't understand that because I've never been in that situation, but I can certainly,

00:44:59.820 I can certainly place myself in his shoes to some degree that the emotions were high

00:45:04.180 and he was excited.

00:45:04.920 And, and it was a very, uh, contentious pre fight.

00:45:09.540 None of that excuses Connor McGregor's behavior, by the way.

00:45:12.020 Like I think the way that he conducts himself pre fight isn't, isn't simply, oh, it's just

00:45:17.200 good marketing.

00:45:19.400 I think it's not honorable behavior.

00:45:23.520 I don't.

00:45:24.340 I just think, I think those types of antics, although they might get tickets sold is not

00:45:29.420 the standard by which we should measure our actions.

00:45:31.920 You know, if I wanted to sell more seats to the uprising, or I wanted to get more people

00:45:35.700 to listen to the podcast, I could do a whole lot of stuff that would rile people up and,

00:45:40.640 and, and, and cause a lot of commotion and conversation that I'm not interested in engaging

00:45:48.560 with because that's not what we're all about.

00:45:51.640 So I think both men were in the wrong to some degree.

00:45:54.460 And I think Khabib knew it, which is why he apologized.

00:45:57.300 And I think we probably will be, we probably won't see that type of behavior from him again.

00:46:01.900 He's a professional.

00:46:03.040 He just let himself not be professional in the moment, which is a hard thing to do.

00:46:06.880 And I'm certainly not judging from that.

00:46:08.760 I just, I'm just saying that I think he, he knows he made a mistake.

00:46:12.980 I love how there's so many analogies for life in so many scenarios, right?

00:46:18.320 I think this scenario with Khabib and McGregor is analogy for life.

00:46:23.180 How many people excused a behavior because someone else is doing something?

00:46:28.240 What do you expect?

00:46:29.260 This guy's going to be an asshole.

00:46:30.640 So it's justified.

00:46:31.560 You know, how about the higher road guys?

00:46:33.440 Yeah.

00:46:33.720 How about actually doing the honorable thing, even when it's wicked hard to do, right?

00:46:39.200 Right.

00:46:39.580 But we don't do that, right?

00:46:40.940 That's not the default behavior.

00:46:42.640 The default behavior is, oh, well, if it's justified or if you're pissed off enough, then

00:46:47.180 it's okay.

00:46:48.800 Well, you know, maybe we should hold each other to a higher standard.

00:46:51.600 Yeah.

00:46:51.820 And look, I want to be clear, Kip.

00:46:53.420 And I know this about you is that you're not judging that behavior because you've done

00:46:58.400 things that are out of character too.

00:47:00.240 I've done things that are out of character too, like, we're not saying we're above doing

00:47:03.860 that.

00:47:04.280 I just hope that we recognize when we're doing it ourselves so that we can correct the behavior

00:47:08.720 when we mess up.

00:47:10.080 Yeah.

00:47:10.160 I just don't like it as an excuse.

00:47:12.200 Yes.

00:47:12.580 Right.

00:47:12.800 Like, and that's the great thing about Khabib.

00:47:14.980 If, you know, if I'm going to pay blame or put some judgment on him, he apologized, which

00:47:22.280 means that he probably understands like, Hey, you know what?

00:47:24.720 That wasn't right.

00:47:25.660 I shouldn't have justified my accent just because McGregor's camp is, you know, saying

00:47:31.600 certain things that are, you know, offensive to me or whatever.

00:47:35.120 He knows that.

00:47:36.220 Right.

00:47:36.520 But, but I think it's dangerous for us to make excuses for him because he's probably

00:47:41.440 not making even excuses for himself.

00:47:43.620 Right.

00:47:44.120 And he shouldn't.

00:47:45.040 And that goes back to our earlier conversation about holding ourselves to a higher standard.

00:47:48.600 He let go of his own standard momentarily.

00:47:50.620 He had a lapse and then he, he recognized it, although it was hard to calm him down

00:47:56.040 in the fight.

00:47:56.480 I get it.

00:47:56.960 He recognized it.

00:47:58.220 He apologized for it.

00:48:00.380 I feel like that we probably won't see that because generally speaking, he's a pretty controlled

00:48:05.240 individual.

00:48:06.020 He's a professional.

00:48:06.740 He's, he's very respectful.

00:48:08.060 He's stoic.

00:48:08.700 He's respectful.

00:48:09.440 Yeah, exactly.

00:48:10.060 I think he'll correct that behavior because he's wrecking.

00:48:12.360 You know, the other thing that this actually leads me to believe and talk about too,

00:48:15.040 is somebody had sent me a video just yesterday, which was as of the, well, I guess as of the

00:48:20.480 release of this podcast, it'd be two days ago.

00:48:21.900 And it was, and I don't know where this happened, but it was a school teacher who got arrested

00:48:26.420 for fighting a kid in a classroom.

00:48:29.880 Did you see this video?

00:48:31.120 No, I didn't.

00:48:31.940 So this kid, you know, 15 year old, 14, 15, 16 year old kid, punk, punk kid, just a

00:48:37.340 little punk.

00:48:38.300 Yeah.

00:48:38.760 Got up in this teacher's face and based on the story and the things that I know, this

00:48:41.660 teacher asked him to leave and he didn't leave.

00:48:44.380 And the guy was using the N word and getting in his face and taunting him.

00:48:48.480 And then he eventually threw a basketball at him, like just, just being a punk, frankly.

00:48:54.020 Yeah.

00:48:55.120 And the teacher was pretty calm, pretty level-headed.

00:48:57.980 He got on his phone.

00:48:58.920 What I only can assume would be some, some assistance.

00:49:01.620 I would hope that's what he was doing is getting some, a resource officer or police or the authorities

00:49:06.200 involved in some capacity.

00:49:07.900 And then for whatever reason, and I don't know what that kid said or did, or this guy just

00:49:11.840 had enough of it, he just full on, just laid into this kid.

00:49:17.500 I mean, just this, just right to the face, cracked him.

00:49:21.520 And then the kid, him and the kid fought in a classroom.

00:49:25.380 And somebody asked me, they said, what is your take on this?

00:49:27.780 And I looked through the comments because they had tagged me in the post.

00:49:30.220 I looked through the comments like, oh, that kid had it coming.

00:49:32.780 He deserved it.

00:49:33.560 He deserved to get his butt kicked, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:49:35.160 It was all of that kind of stuff.

00:49:36.520 And you know what?

00:49:37.900 All of it was probably true.

00:49:40.240 He, he probably deserved to get punched in the teeth.

00:49:43.520 He probably deserved to be put in his place.

00:49:45.500 He probably deserved everything that he had coming to him.

00:49:48.600 But I don't think the teacher acted in a way that was probably congruent with how he believes

00:49:56.380 and in a way that he would consider honorable because he had plenty of time to call in a resource

00:50:02.480 officer.

00:50:03.020 He had plenty of time to call in the authorities.

00:50:05.020 He wasn't, when he threw that first punch, defending himself or anybody else in the classroom

00:50:09.740 against harm.

00:50:11.580 I think he made a tragic mistake.

00:50:15.840 And I'm not saying I wouldn't have responded the same way.

00:50:18.160 I may have.

00:50:18.760 I may have gone off even sooner than he did.

00:50:22.380 All I'm saying is that he put his, his livelihood at risk over a 15 year old punk kid who didn't

00:50:32.120 even represent a threat to himself or the people he's tasked with protecting.

00:50:37.160 I think an easy way to look at this is, was it in his best interest to do what he did?

00:50:42.900 Or, or, or I will add this caveat, Kip, the best interest of the people that he's serving.

00:50:47.760 Because as a, as a man, sometimes you have to put yourself above you, excuse me, you have

00:50:53.580 to put other people's interest above your own.

00:50:56.040 Yeah.

00:50:57.080 And, but I think that's a great qualifier that you said is, was he acting in his best interest?

00:51:01.180 The answer is clearly no, he's lost his job.

00:51:04.700 He will probably never teach again.

00:51:06.100 He's arrested.

00:51:06.800 So he might face some criminal charges.

00:51:08.760 He'll certainly face civic charges and some fines and costs associated with that all because

00:51:14.520 he, he allowed himself to, to be riled up to the point where he started throwing punches.

00:51:23.540 The kid, look, that kid deserved it from what I saw, no doubt, but you gotta be, you just

00:51:29.640 gotta be careful.

00:51:30.820 You gotta be careful.

00:51:32.080 You gotta act with, with the integrity and the honor that, you know, you should be acting.

00:51:36.400 It's, it was a tragic situation and one in which the teacher lost horribly.

00:51:42.900 It's unfortunate.

00:51:43.880 It is.

00:51:44.240 And that's a great word for it.

00:51:45.500 It's unfortunate.

00:51:46.620 Exactly.

00:51:47.720 Exactly.

00:51:48.540 It's, that is a great word for it.

00:51:50.200 It's unfortunate.

00:51:51.320 And you know what?

00:51:51.840 We're all tasked with unfortunate situations.

00:51:53.560 We got to make the decisions based on what we know to be true and the information that

00:51:57.640 we have at hand, you know?

00:51:58.720 So it's, it's tough.

00:52:01.680 Super tough.

00:52:03.240 Khabib, if you want to be on the podcast, reach out to Ryan.

00:52:06.100 That'd be awesome, man.

00:52:06.980 I would take either, either Khabib or McGregor.

00:52:09.520 Yeah.

00:52:09.940 That'd be an interesting conversation.

00:52:12.260 All right.

00:52:12.940 Cameron Newman.

00:52:13.860 I have a couple of questions that are tied together.

00:52:16.100 How do you balance information, input, books, podcasts, articles, and mental downtime?

00:52:21.320 I heard you say once that being an informed junkie isn't good.

00:52:25.140 The second is how do you prioritize sleep?

00:52:27.500 I have many projects, busy family life, and almost constant information input.

00:52:32.340 I have trouble getting everything I want to do done and have time and, and have time for

00:52:36.900 sleep.

00:52:37.280 So let's address the first one, uh, that he talked about, which is balancing information

00:52:41.260 and input it on podcast articles, blah, blah, blah.

00:52:43.120 So I have a tendency to do that.

00:52:45.180 I read a lot of nonfiction.

00:52:46.460 I listened to a lot of podcasts.

00:52:47.820 I subscribed to a lot of blogs.

00:52:49.040 There's a lot of information that is going into my brain.

00:52:51.420 And what I have noticed about myself through reflection is that sometimes I put so much

00:52:56.960 information into my brain that it causes a bit of paralysis and overwhelm and paralysis

00:53:01.740 and overwhelm in my life do not produce historically great results for me.

00:53:05.680 If I'm overwhelmed, if I'm stressed out, if there's too much information and I'm on information

00:53:12.060 overload and, and, and the stimulus is too high, it's like shut down brain shut down.

00:53:17.680 Everything else shut down.

00:53:18.640 I start making stupid decisions and I start getting, getting irritable with the people I

00:53:22.320 care about and it's not productive.

00:53:25.020 So why do we read?

00:53:27.600 Why do we listen to podcasts?

00:53:29.100 Why do we subscribe to blogs?

00:53:31.140 Why do we do that?

00:53:32.960 We do that so that we can be served, right?

00:53:35.880 So that we can learn something.

00:53:37.980 If there's one thing that you can take away from this podcast today that you can implement

00:53:41.760 in your life to improve your ability to father, to husband, to lead, to whatever, then you're

00:53:46.840 better served.

00:53:47.400 That's why we consume the information.

00:53:48.920 If the information is hindering you from producing the results you're after, it's not helping.

00:53:55.020 Like there's no box that you need to check that says you should read 52 books a year, right?

00:54:01.360 There's no box that says you need to listen to 1000 hours of podcasting this year.

00:54:05.800 No, you need to produce results.

00:54:09.360 So you need to do the work that will produce the greatest results.

00:54:14.100 So you don't need to listen to every podcast.

00:54:16.100 Look, frankly speaking, this podcast you're listening to right now might be a hindrance to

00:54:20.920 your performance because you're not getting what you need from here.

00:54:24.920 And yet you're consuming your time, your energy, resources, and attention and focus on this

00:54:29.140 podcast when you should be consuming and doing something else.

00:54:33.500 So ask yourself, is what I'm consuming leading to a productive result?

00:54:37.940 If the answer is yes, cool.

00:54:39.580 You're on the right course.

00:54:40.340 If the answer is no, it's detracting from the result I desire, then you're not on the right

00:54:45.600 path.

00:54:45.980 You got to scale back.

00:54:46.760 You got to stop.

00:54:47.960 You got to take a break from all of this input and start maybe implementing some of it as

00:54:53.780 opposed to consuming some of it.

00:54:56.080 I know we've talked about Andy for silly.

00:54:57.160 I think he calls this a, uh, uh, what does he call it?

00:55:00.520 A learning zombie or an information zombie.

00:55:02.640 We're just like consume, consume, consume, consume, consume, consume.

00:55:05.020 That's not what men do.

00:55:06.160 We, we give back.

00:55:09.920 We add a value as much, if not more than we consume.

00:55:14.580 So put this stuff into action, improve your life, improve the lives of your family, improve

00:55:19.060 your community, improve your business because you're implementing this stuff.

00:55:21.860 Not because you're just consuming it.

00:55:23.440 Cause Ryan said you should read 52 books this year, or you should listen to a thousand hours

00:55:28.260 of podcasting, or you should listen to every single episode of the order man podcast.

00:55:31.380 I'd love if you did that, but that might not serve you.

00:55:34.240 So find what's going to serve you well and do that.

00:55:39.740 Love it.

00:55:41.000 What was the second question?

00:55:42.260 How do you prioritize sleep?

00:55:44.580 Yeah.

00:55:44.820 With projects, family life, constant information input.

00:55:47.800 You just, you just set boundaries, man.

00:55:49.360 You just know, you know, I operate best on seven and a half to eight hours of sleep.

00:55:53.480 So if I'm going to wake up at five 30 every morning, then I gotta, I gotta go to bed at 10

00:55:58.280 o'clock and I'm going to do everything else I can.

00:56:01.380 Family life, projects, work activities, my stuff.

00:56:04.920 I'm going to do that throughout the day because I know that this time is blocked off.

00:56:07.880 It's kind of like budgeting, right?

00:56:09.400 Like for example, if you're going to invest money for your future, you, you make, Hey,

00:56:14.240 I'm going to put 10, 15, 20% of my savings away.

00:56:17.600 And then I just have 80% else to live on.

00:56:19.740 That's it.

00:56:20.820 80%.

00:56:21.300 That's all I have.

00:56:22.220 So I got to make do with 80%.

00:56:23.540 Now, if there's something I want to buy and it falls outside of that 80%, well, then you

00:56:27.160 don't buy it.

00:56:28.960 You got to wait a month.

00:56:29.780 Same thing with your sleep.

00:56:32.220 If you want seven, seven and a half, eight hours of sleep, and yet you're wanting to

00:56:35.380 do this thing.

00:56:36.240 I mean, you might make an exception if you're deliberate and intentional about it, but you

00:56:41.040 just fit everything else in that timeframe and know that you can't do everything.

00:56:44.340 You can't do it all.

00:56:45.360 You can do, what is it?

00:56:46.280 The quote, you can do anything you want.

00:56:47.800 You just can't do everything.

00:56:50.420 So figure out what's going to produce the biggest results and what's going to help you

00:56:53.120 accomplish what you want to accomplish and squeeze it into the time that you have remaining.

00:56:56.480 Sleep is critical.

00:56:57.280 And that's not like a, like a traditionally manly thought, right?

00:57:00.400 The manly thought, the quote unquote manly thought is I'll sleep when I'm dead.

00:57:03.720 Well, you'll die sooner if you don't sleep.

00:57:07.120 Scientifically.

00:57:07.660 Right.

00:57:08.060 Yeah.

00:57:08.540 So good.

00:57:09.540 That'll come sooner rather than later for you.

00:57:11.140 If you're not willing to get your sleep and rest in and recovery in.

00:57:15.920 What else?

00:57:16.640 All right.

00:57:17.440 Lou, Lillano Jr.

00:57:19.300 So your marriage is over.

00:57:21.120 You've legitimately tried it all, worked on you, let her go, and it's really done.

00:57:26.400 What suggestions and ideas do you have about staying strong during divorce and co-parenting

00:57:31.140 with someone who cannot be a decent human being with three kids, 11, 9, and 8?

00:57:36.740 Man, we talk about this every day, it seems like, right?

00:57:39.900 It's tough.

00:57:40.520 It is tough.

00:57:41.360 It's hard.

00:57:41.900 I mean, it's, it's a, it's a difficult situation.

00:57:44.020 And unfortunately, it's a very common situation.

00:57:47.540 You, you just do this.

00:57:49.540 All right.

00:57:50.100 Go to the website, orderofman.com in the search bar on the top, type in fix yourself.

00:57:57.680 And you're going to see an article that comes up and it's, there's two articles.

00:58:00.720 One is called fix yourself first.

00:58:02.040 And the other one is fix your marriage by fixing yourself.

00:58:04.980 Now I realize your marriage is over.

00:58:06.120 So that first part of that doesn't apply, but the message is still the same.

00:58:10.520 Focus on you.

00:58:12.060 Make yourself the project.

00:58:14.140 Find a hobby.

00:58:15.260 Find something that's interesting.

00:58:16.700 Find other men who you can engage in.

00:58:18.760 Go to the gym.

00:58:19.480 Get your financial house in order.

00:58:21.020 Read books.

00:58:21.600 Consume podcasts, implement this stuff, improve your life.

00:58:24.820 Make yourself the project.

00:58:25.940 Look, when I went through my separation, the worst time during that separation for me was

00:58:30.840 at night when I was alone with myself and my thoughts.

00:58:33.360 It was horrible because I started playing all these crazy scenarios in my mind and making

00:58:39.800 it worse than it needed to be.

00:58:41.140 And then stewing and having animosity and bitterness and resentment towards her.

00:58:45.260 But the best times during that separation was when I was actively engaged in a meaningful

00:58:49.500 project.

00:58:50.120 That meaningful project was me.

00:58:51.820 It was when I was working out.

00:58:53.160 It was when I was engaged with work.

00:58:54.780 It was when I was at courses and learning new skills and I was listening to podcasts.

00:58:59.180 For example, one of the guys I was listening to was Ed Milet.

00:59:01.780 We just had him on the podcast yesterday.

00:59:03.820 These are the things that I consume myself with.

00:59:05.940 And because I consume myself with improving the external factors, the result took care

00:59:11.700 of itself.

00:59:12.420 Now, look, frankly, yeah, you might be with somebody who's psychotic or somebody who's

00:59:17.880 just toxic or negative or just a horrible human being, but you care about your kids.

00:59:27.680 You care about your kids.

00:59:28.920 And so don't focus on her instead, trying to be cordial and respectful and communicate.

00:59:36.440 I can't even say that.

00:59:37.460 Communicating with her will help you better serve your children.

00:59:41.700 It's not about her or trying to get along with her.

00:59:45.340 It's about creating the best possible environment so that you can serve your kids the way they

00:59:48.880 need to be served.

00:59:49.800 Don't focus on her.

00:59:51.060 Focus on you and focus on the activities that you can do, which means that you might need

00:59:55.440 to be a little bit more cordial than you would like with your ex-wife.

00:59:58.920 So that you can take care of your three children and also get yourself a great attorney and

01:00:03.660 fight for your right as a father, because I believe the court systems are stacked against

01:00:08.940 fathers and fight for your children as much as you should be fighting for your own rights

01:00:14.220 as well.

01:00:15.380 Yeah.

01:00:16.500 Lou, here's some motivation.

01:00:19.060 The times in my life that I have been the shittiest dad were the times where I weren't

01:00:25.420 that were the times that I wasn't happy.

01:00:28.920 So you want to do what's best for your kids.

01:00:31.500 You need to get on the path, get things straight in your life and be, be happy.

01:00:37.040 Like, and, and happiness is through these projects and all these other things, but you got to

01:00:41.320 be that way.

01:00:42.020 You're, it's going to come through and your kids are going to see it and how you treat

01:00:47.660 them is going to show up if you don't get, if you don't figure your, your stuff out and

01:00:52.280 get on the path and start living life and being happy with things, including your relationship

01:00:57.300 with her.

01:00:57.980 It doesn't matter who she is.

01:00:59.320 You can still be happy and kind to anybody.

01:01:01.440 So my suggestion is figure that out.

01:01:05.020 So your kids don't suffer.

01:01:06.720 And you know what to Kip?

01:01:07.660 Those are all great points.

01:01:08.660 I would also add that 11, nine, and eight years old are old enough to see.

01:01:14.480 Yeah.

01:01:15.080 They know, they know mom.

01:01:18.400 They know mom's personality.

01:01:20.100 They know how mom makes them feel.

01:01:22.140 They also know how you make them feel.

01:01:24.820 So if they're over with you and they're spending time with you and all you're doing

01:01:27.780 is bitching and moaning and complaining and my wife's a bitch and your mom does this and

01:01:31.300 she's an asshole and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:01:33.860 You're going to make them feel something that you shouldn't make them feel.

01:01:37.560 They're old enough.

01:01:38.380 They know when they're with dad, times are great and it's positive.

01:01:41.940 We're doing fun stuff and we're engaged as a family and we're loving life.

01:01:45.080 And then they have to go home to mom and mom's negative and she's toxic and she's

01:01:51.060 talking mean about dad.

01:01:52.520 But you know what?

01:01:53.160 That's weird.

01:01:53.600 She's saying those things because every time we're with dad, he seems loving and

01:01:58.080 supportive and, and, and, and teaches us things and he's engaged with us and they're

01:02:03.540 going to start questioning the, the, the gap between what mom is saying and what

01:02:09.300 they're experiencing.

01:02:10.220 And they're always going to go over time.

01:02:12.220 They're, they're going to go with what they feel.

01:02:15.500 Yeah.

01:02:16.160 So don't be the toxic.

01:02:18.740 Don't participate in the toxicity because they're going to feel it.

01:02:23.600 And then they're going to start saying, Oh yeah, mom's right.

01:02:26.540 Dad is kind of a jerk.

01:02:29.080 When you start talking negative about your ex and you start being bitter and instead think

01:02:34.320 about what you have, you have the time with the kids and you're engaged and gosh, that's

01:02:38.260 hard.

01:02:38.640 I wish I could say that that's easy, an easy thing to do.

01:02:40.980 I've never been in that situation, but, um, I mean, just, yeah, that's like I said, it's

01:02:47.440 tough, but I think that's the right course of action.

01:02:50.080 Well, and this, this relates to Khabib and McGregor.

01:02:53.500 There is a amazing opportunity for your children to learn a tough lesson and it's up to you to

01:03:03.200 be inspiring.

01:03:04.020 And the way that you're going to be inspiring is to level up and be honorable regardless of

01:03:11.000 how she's being now, is it easy?

01:03:13.160 Would we, would half of the population totally or more totally excuse negative behavior towards

01:03:20.380 her because she's crazy?

01:03:21.420 For sure.

01:03:21.820 They would.

01:03:22.920 Doesn't mean that's what's best for you.

01:03:24.840 Does that doesn't mean what's, that's what's best for your kids.

01:03:27.460 So do that honorable, super tough thing and, and see it as a huge opportunity for your

01:03:34.320 kids to see you man up and be an honorable man, regardless of the circumstance.

01:03:41.560 What an amazing opportunity they have for you to teach them a lesson here.

01:03:46.240 A hundred percent, man.

01:03:47.480 A hundred percent.

01:03:48.040 Well said, Kip.

01:03:48.900 You got it, Lou.

01:03:51.260 David, Bryant, Mitchell, who is your biggest influencer?

01:03:55.800 Kip Sorensen.

01:03:57.460 Yes.

01:03:59.020 Thank you.

01:03:59.620 Yeah.

01:03:59.820 I'm glad you said that.

01:04:00.580 I would, I probably wouldn't have said that.

01:04:01.720 So I'm glad you said that.

01:04:04.420 I actually, I've wondered this as well.

01:04:08.860 I don't really like this question.

01:04:11.020 Oh, and it's, it's not a, not, not, not, not that it's a bad question.

01:04:15.240 I'm not saying that.

01:04:15.840 Maybe current influencer.

01:04:17.760 How's that?

01:04:18.280 Biggest current influencer.

01:04:19.420 There isn't one.

01:04:20.480 No?

01:04:20.840 Like there isn't one person.

01:04:21.940 I'm like, this is it.

01:04:22.800 This is the person.

01:04:23.840 This is the one.

01:04:24.940 Because I honestly, I try to get value from everywhere.

01:04:28.360 Yeah.

01:04:28.800 You know, I look at my wife and I see all the wonderful things she does and the, and the

01:04:32.540 things that she's great at where I'm deficient.

01:04:34.120 And I think, man, I need to be more like her.

01:04:37.720 And then I listened to you and I listened to your empathy and I listened to, you know,

01:04:42.200 your, your perspective that I don't necessarily think of right away.

01:04:44.940 And I think, man, I just need to be more like that.

01:04:48.020 And then I listened to guy, again, we're talking about Andy.

01:04:50.100 I listened to guys like Andy for so.

01:04:51.300 And I hear his passion and energy and fire and, and how resolute and convicted he is

01:04:56.660 and his principles.

01:04:57.180 And I think, man, I got to be more like that.

01:05:01.100 And then I hear guys like, like Jordan Peterson.

01:05:03.580 And I think about his depth of, of, of, of knowledge and wisdom and his ability to think

01:05:08.020 critically about these subjects and his ability to put himself out there and in a hostile

01:05:11.640 environment.

01:05:12.060 And I think, man, I got to be more like that.

01:05:14.840 Like there's value to be learned everywhere.

01:05:17.360 And then I look at, I look at, for example, the men in my life, I look at the negative

01:05:21.840 examples I have.

01:05:22.680 And I think to myself, man, he's influenced me a lot because I don't want to be like that.

01:05:27.240 And then I look at the coaches who stepped up in my young life or they didn't have to.

01:05:31.140 And they, they coached me and they guided me and they taught me more about life on the

01:05:34.760 football and baseball field than I learned anywhere else.

01:05:37.200 And I think, man, I'd love to do that for my kids.

01:05:39.060 So the reason that I have a hard time with this question is because there's no quote

01:05:44.780 unquote influencer.

01:05:46.260 You know, I don't, I don't even like that term because it makes us think that, that you have

01:05:49.480 to look to the top of the top in order to achieve some level of influence or, or something

01:05:53.840 good and noble out of people.

01:05:55.540 You can be walking down the street and bump into somebody at the convenience store and he

01:06:00.000 happens to open the door for you.

01:06:01.300 And you can be influenced by that individual if you choose to be.

01:06:04.720 And then I think we spend so much time and energy.

01:06:07.960 How many, how many followers does this guy have?

01:06:10.280 Oh, he's got a million followers.

01:06:11.180 He must have something good to say.

01:06:13.480 Maybe, but maybe the guy that you could have had a conversation with at the, at the football

01:06:18.040 game who you're sitting next to could have had just as more, if not, if not more to,

01:06:22.740 to say about how you can improve and enhance your life and become a better human being.

01:06:29.060 So influence is where you look for it.

01:06:31.820 Just have to be open and perceptive to what is going on around you and, and be willing to

01:06:37.120 be influenced.

01:06:38.080 That's why I have such a hard time with this concept of like the zero F zero F mentality.

01:06:42.500 Screw everybody else.

01:06:44.460 Why?

01:06:46.200 Why would you want to be like that?

01:06:49.300 Why would you want to live like that?

01:06:51.780 And granted, there's some, some people that you don't want to necessarily implement their

01:06:56.980 advice or their way of living, but you can still learn something from that individual.

01:07:00.620 Hey, this guy's like really, he's really bitter.

01:07:03.260 He's really negative.

01:07:03.880 I don't enjoy being around this person.

01:07:05.520 Okay, good.

01:07:06.740 I don't want to be like that.

01:07:08.820 You can be influenced everywhere.

01:07:10.400 And that's why I have a really hard time with this conversation.

01:07:12.280 I think people, maybe I'm wrong, but I think sometimes when people ask this question, they're

01:07:15.620 looking for like the one big influence they could latch onto that might improve their

01:07:19.400 life.

01:07:19.740 Dude, go talk to your dad.

01:07:22.260 Go talk to your mom.

01:07:23.340 Go talk to your grandpa.

01:07:25.100 Go have a conversation with a kid, sit down and, and, and, and talk with the person at the

01:07:29.980 convenience store, the grocery store, talk with the clerk there and ask her or him how

01:07:33.580 she's, she or he is doing.

01:07:37.160 I think there's plenty of opportunities outside of these social media influence, which is ironic

01:07:41.560 coming from me because I'm trying to be that way, but look, you don't need a million followers

01:07:46.920 to be, to have something valuable to say.

01:07:51.060 There's no external factor that says this person's more valuable than the person I could have just

01:07:55.120 sat down with and had a conversation with at home.

01:07:57.140 So be influenced everywhere.

01:08:01.860 I don't know about you guys, but I'm, I'm waiting for a drop the mic sound here on the

01:08:06.700 podcast.

01:08:07.380 Seriously.

01:08:07.860 That's so profound.

01:08:09.800 So profound.

01:08:11.400 It's spot on.

01:08:12.140 I'm, I'm listening to this tomorrow just so I can re re listen to that.

01:08:15.480 That's good.

01:08:16.340 Good.

01:08:16.720 No, but it's so, I don't know.

01:08:18.060 I don't even have anything to say.

01:08:19.860 Solid.

01:08:20.620 Right on.

01:08:21.120 Let's take a couple more, man.

01:08:22.380 Love it.

01:08:23.300 Duffy Miller.

01:08:23.940 I haven't heard any mentions of Jordan Peterson, unless I've missed it.

01:08:27.960 He seems to essentially preach stoicism.

01:08:30.900 How closely does he align with the order of man and, and the iron council to me, he seems

01:08:35.260 to be very much in line.

01:08:36.760 I agree.

01:08:37.280 I think much of what Jordan teaches and preaches is very similar to what we're sharing here.

01:08:41.200 I really do.

01:08:41.920 Um, I would love to have Jordan Peterson on the show, Jordan, if you're listening or anybody

01:08:45.980 who knows Jordan Peterson is listening, let's, let's make this happen.

01:08:49.060 I think we could have a very, very powerful conversation.

01:08:51.920 We're very much in line.

01:08:53.600 Um, and I think we could, uh, I think we could do some good work.

01:08:56.640 Now I will say, uh, when he came out with his book, when he did that Kathy Newman interview,

01:09:00.900 uh, I don't even remember when that was maybe a year or so ago.

01:09:04.160 Uh, I actually had a podcast scheduled him.

01:09:06.340 I had it on the books and, uh, it was a day before we were going to podcast and his team

01:09:12.320 called and said he couldn't make it because of his schedule, which I understand, you know,

01:09:15.480 things come up, that's happens.

01:09:17.260 So I said, okay, well, that's fine.

01:09:18.740 Let's, you know, let's reschedule.

01:09:19.820 So we rescheduled and then his team emailed me back and said, Hey, we can't make this

01:09:24.080 work.

01:09:24.320 I'm like, Oh, okay.

01:09:25.460 Do you want to try a third time?

01:09:26.620 And they said, yeah, let's try it a third time.

01:09:27.820 And so we scheduled an interview for the third time and steam came back and said, Hey, I'm

01:09:31.480 sorry.

01:09:31.780 Like he's got a busy schedule.

01:09:33.200 We can't make this work.

01:09:33.960 I'm like, well, like to me, I mean, look, I think he's got some great stuff and some great

01:09:40.600 things to share, but I think there's some scheduling conflicts that he's got here that needs

01:09:43.400 to be resolved.

01:09:44.060 Cause essentially, essentially what you're doing is you're, you're consuming somebody

01:09:48.540 else's resources and then not doing them the honor of following through on your commitments.

01:09:52.260 That's a little frustrating to me.

01:09:54.080 Yeah.

01:09:54.460 And I'm sure that's covered in his book.

01:09:56.420 Absolutely.

01:09:56.900 It's covered in his book.

01:09:58.280 So the hell Jordan.

01:09:59.480 Well, no, I mean, I'm not saying that personally, but I'm saying there's some, there's some problems

01:10:02.580 in the system that need to be addressed.

01:10:04.580 Have some respect for people's time.

01:10:05.940 Like if you can't do the interview, then okay, you can't do the interview.

01:10:08.080 That's okay.

01:10:08.780 But don't say you can do the interview, carve out time out of the schedule and not make

01:10:11.280 it work three times.

01:10:13.040 That happens once I get it.

01:10:14.260 Okay.

01:10:14.580 That happens.

01:10:15.000 I've done that, but three times, I don't know.

01:10:17.580 But that said, you know, if, if he wants to have a conversation or his team does, like,

01:10:20.780 I think we could have a powerful conversation.

01:10:22.360 I think much of what he shares is needed in society.

01:10:25.260 I think he's very, very misunderstood probably because of the way that he communicates.

01:10:29.480 Um, but I think if you really listen to him and what he's sharing and what he talks about,

01:10:34.480 uh, I think it's some, some pretty, uh, pretty powerful stuff.

01:10:39.240 I really do.

01:10:39.920 And I think we actually say much of the same things.

01:10:41.740 I just think we, we do it in a different way.

01:10:44.300 Yeah.

01:10:44.800 He's a very logical guy.

01:10:46.440 I mean, even when you listen to him talk, I mean, you're basically hearing him think.

01:10:50.720 Yeah.

01:10:51.560 Totally.

01:10:51.980 Listen to him.

01:10:52.580 It's, it's, it's, it's the way that my brain works sometimes where it's not real,

01:10:56.460 like, like, like linear and very flushed out.

01:10:59.620 He's just like thinking, constantly thinking, thinking, you can, you can literally see the

01:11:04.000 wheels turning of his thought process, which I find really fascinating.

01:11:09.620 Cool.

01:11:10.780 Jump on Jordan.

01:11:12.300 We need you.

01:11:13.120 All right.

01:11:13.380 Last one.

01:11:14.440 Stephan Hill.

01:11:15.440 How did your first hunt go?

01:11:17.100 How did it feel to draw on an animal and take that life?

01:11:20.700 Were you shaking buck fever?

01:11:22.600 So to speak, what's your next hunt?

01:11:24.080 So my first hunt was in November of 2000.

01:11:31.320 Was it November?

01:11:32.520 I think it was November.

01:11:33.520 It was in the fall of 2017.

01:11:35.220 So it was only, it was last year.

01:11:36.320 About a year.

01:11:36.860 Yeah.

01:11:37.400 I haven't been hunting that long.

01:11:38.620 And I went out to Texas.

01:11:39.520 A friend invited me out there and I went on a rifle and a bow hunt.

01:11:41.800 And, uh, I, I shot a deer with my rifle first and I shot him and he ran off.

01:11:52.740 And I told my buddy who invited me, Colin Cottrell.

01:11:55.000 I said, Hey man, I don't, I don't think I hit him.

01:11:56.580 He's like, no, no, you hit him.

01:11:57.620 I'm like, no, I don't think so.

01:11:58.720 He's like, no, I watched him.

01:11:59.680 You got him.

01:12:00.480 I was like, no.

01:12:01.220 And so we walked over to where he was standing when I shot him.

01:12:06.240 And, uh, man, we, we couldn't see any blood, no blood at all.

01:12:10.500 I'm like, dude, how is that possible?

01:12:11.720 You know, he's like, you shot him.

01:12:13.620 I'm like, I don't know if I did see there's no blood or anything.

01:12:15.480 He's like, no, you got him.

01:12:16.860 Where did he go?

01:12:17.580 And I followed him after I shot him.

01:12:19.260 And I said, well, he walked over here.

01:12:20.520 So we walked over there and found a big blood splatter there.

01:12:25.080 And, uh, I looked up and like 20 yards from there, he was, he was right there laying there

01:12:29.360 dead.

01:12:29.640 And I felt so proud that I, that I accomplished this task that I set out to accomplish.

01:12:35.480 And yet at the same time, I, I wouldn't say like heartbroken, but I felt, I felt a little

01:12:40.300 sadness because I looked at this animal and I thought to myself, man, like, here's this

01:12:44.400 majestic white tail deer that, that is, he's big and mature.

01:12:48.420 He's lived a great life.

01:12:49.300 And, and I took this animal's life like that sucks.

01:12:53.100 And what's interesting is most of us, 96, 97, 98% of us do this every day when we eat

01:13:01.440 a burger or have a chicken sandwich.

01:13:03.140 And yet we don't think anything else of it.

01:13:05.440 So I think there's this really interesting connection and gap between our food and where

01:13:11.980 it comes from.

01:13:12.520 And I think that the closer you can get to that gap, the more realistic you are about

01:13:16.020 how important life is and how important nature is that we care for it and we conserve it and

01:13:21.160 we protect it.

01:13:24.020 Um, so it was like, it was really bittersweet for me.

01:13:28.020 And then the next day, um, I shot a deer with my bow, but I made a bad shot on it and I gut

01:13:36.540 shot at it and we spent three hours searching for it and finally found it.

01:13:43.560 And I felt, I felt really bad because that animal had suffered for, for three hours.

01:13:49.060 And I put a, I put an arrow through its guts three hours earlier and it just suffered and

01:13:56.660 it made me want to be a better hunter.

01:13:59.160 Not that it made me want to leave hunting.

01:14:01.820 It just made me want to be a better hunter where I, where I was more proficient.

01:14:06.680 I was more tactical.

01:14:07.680 I knew my gear better.

01:14:08.640 I had more practice because I don't, I don't want to do that.

01:14:12.500 I don't want to hurt the animal.

01:14:14.260 I want to kill the animal because it helps me provide in the way I think that we should

01:14:20.760 be providing, but I don't want to hurt animals, you know?

01:14:24.700 So it's like, uh, it's just hunting is very, it's a really surreal thing.

01:14:30.240 And it's a very bittersweet thing for me.

01:14:32.080 It's really weird why I do it, but I just think it's a good thing overall.

01:14:36.180 I do.

01:14:37.400 So my next hunt is, uh, next month, uh, back to Texas for a doe and a pig hunt.

01:14:46.080 And then I might in December be going on a, uh, cow elk hunt with a friend of mine in

01:14:52.160 Northern Utah as well.

01:14:53.860 So that'll be my fourth.

01:14:57.280 Um, yeah, yeah.

01:14:58.920 Bow hunts.

01:14:59.380 Uh-huh.

01:15:00.360 I like, look, I mean, I don't hold anything against a rifle and I think that's great.

01:15:04.420 I really do.

01:15:05.180 But I just like the intimacy of being with a, with a bow and being that close to an animal.

01:15:10.060 I was in, um, I was in Minnesota a couple of weeks ago and on a white tail and it was

01:15:15.240 just like so amazing to be in a tree stand and see these animals like walking right under

01:15:18.900 you and being so close that you could, you could hear them and see them and see their

01:15:22.960 individual hairs on their body.

01:15:24.540 Like it was that, it was really interesting being that close and connected to nature.

01:15:28.880 It was really cool.

01:15:29.960 And I like that about bow hunting.

01:15:32.180 Yeah.

01:15:33.120 Hmm.

01:15:34.640 All right.

01:15:35.260 So should we call it a day?

01:15:36.560 Yeah, let's call it.

01:15:37.720 We'll save this good question for, for next week.

01:15:40.120 Man, we, I think we only got through like eight or nine questions today.

01:15:44.740 We have so many questions.

01:15:47.100 Do we need to draw these questions out like we're doing or do we need to be quicker?

01:15:50.680 What, what's your thought?

01:15:51.640 Should we be quicker with these questions or do you guys like the in-depth analysis that

01:15:57.480 we give on each one of those things?

01:15:59.500 Yeah.

01:16:00.160 What do you, what do you think, Kip?

01:16:02.200 You know, I don't know.

01:16:03.440 I think it ultimately cares what the listeners think.

01:16:05.820 Um, but, but I think, I mean, I don't think we're rat holing and talking about worthless

01:16:10.800 information, right?

01:16:11.920 So I, I think sometimes when we spend maybe a little too much time on a given question,

01:16:16.380 it's still very valuable.

01:16:17.660 Yeah.

01:16:17.800 So, yeah, I agree.

01:16:19.800 Guess the guys will let us know, right?

01:16:21.540 Yeah.

01:16:21.840 Let us know guys.

01:16:22.840 Cool.

01:16:23.080 So you guys can let us know and you can submit questions, uh, for the AMA ask me anything

01:16:30.060 podcast, uh, via Patreon by going to patreon.com forward slash order of man.

01:16:37.220 That's kind of our first, uh, level one, uh, question submissions.

01:16:41.520 And then second would be that of the iron council.

01:16:45.120 Uh, you can learn more about the iron council and that brotherhood and what that means to

01:16:49.380 be part of that brotherhood at, um, order of man.com forward slash iron council.

01:16:54.440 And then lastly, you can join the 50 K plus men on the Facebook group at facebook.com forward

01:17:01.560 slash groups forward slash order of man, feel free to connect with Ryan on Instagram at Ryan

01:17:06.900 Mickler or Twitter at order of man.

01:17:10.660 And Ryan, I have to say, man, it's, it's a pleasure.

01:17:14.040 Uh, you know, some of the, some of your answers to today's questions were just profound, especially

01:17:19.700 the influencer one.

01:17:20.640 I don't know why that hit me so hard today, but I'm like, you know, I didn't think of it

01:17:24.300 that way.

01:17:24.680 And you're so right, man.

01:17:25.780 There's so many opportunities for us to level up and learn from so many people.

01:17:29.720 And, and I think it's folly for us to kind of think that, that there's not opportunities

01:17:35.120 for growth and influence all around us constantly.

01:17:38.180 Yeah.

01:17:39.060 And, um, yeah, I, I appreciate the conversation.

01:17:41.780 I, I just appreciate that.

01:17:43.200 I, I, I get to read off these questions and slaughter people's names.

01:17:46.480 So, well, it's a little more than that, man.

01:17:49.540 I, same thing.

01:17:50.600 I appreciate your feedback.

01:17:51.600 I think you bring a dynamic to the equation that, uh, that wouldn't be possible if you

01:17:55.500 weren't here.

01:17:55.820 So, man, this has been powerful and I've certainly learned a lot with, with, with this as well.

01:17:59.900 And being able to answer these questions and think critically about what, what people are

01:18:03.220 asking and what they're concerned about.

01:18:04.420 So it's been a cool ride, man.

01:18:06.400 I hope this continues.

01:18:07.440 I know the guys are enjoying it guys.

01:18:08.720 I hope you enjoy what we're doing here.

01:18:10.380 We'll ask, we'll, we'll solicit your questions in another, uh, 16 weeks or so.

01:18:15.160 And we get through these at the rate we're going, um, but we just appreciate the participation.

01:18:19.440 And it's good to know that there's so many men who are actually engaged in this and want

01:18:23.160 to be part of this movement.

01:18:24.420 Uh, the only thing I would ask is that if you're getting value from this, that you share

01:18:27.920 it, uh, that you leave a rating review.

01:18:29.760 I think a lot of times people think that, that just taking a couple minutes to leave a rating

01:18:33.600 review doesn't really help.

01:18:34.760 You couldn't be more wrong about that.

01:18:36.480 Uh, when, when we see ratings and reviews come in, we see huge improvements in the,

01:18:43.360 uh, the charts and the rankings that we have in the podcast, which obviously helps with

01:18:47.880 more visibility.

01:18:49.040 So guys, just go out, do your part, share the podcast with other men who need to hear

01:18:53.700 this.

01:18:54.000 We, you know, you know, we need more men in this fight.

01:18:57.380 I mean, we really do.

01:18:58.280 There's a very vocal minority of people that are trying to undermine what masculinity and

01:19:03.340 manliness is, and they're also trying to dictate the tone of the conversation, uh, regarding

01:19:08.780 manliness and masculinity.

01:19:10.160 And I think it's in our best interest, our children's best interest and just society in

01:19:14.320 general, that we, the men who are actually in the trenches, doing the thing, doing the

01:19:18.600 work and trying to be honorable men are the ones who are dictating what it means to be a

01:19:23.280 man.

01:19:23.500 And we can't do that unless you're willing to share this message and put it out there into

01:19:28.200 the lives of the men that, that you have contact with.

01:19:30.060 So I would ask that as we, uh, as we wind things down, that you do your part and share.

01:19:36.420 Call it a day.

01:19:38.100 Yes, sir.

01:19:38.860 All right, guys, we'll wrap it up.

01:19:40.100 We'll, uh, we'll see you next week, but until then go out, take action, become the man you

01:19:43.960 are meant to be.

01:19:45.020 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:19:47.840 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:19:51.640 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:20:00.060 Thank you.

Order of Man - November 07, 2018

What is Honor, How to Get Noticed at Work, and Prioritizing Information with Application ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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