Order of Man - What is Love？, Maintaining Your Vision, and Memento Mori

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.020 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.260 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.860 you can call yourself a man. Kind of weird doing this in person, huh? Yeah, live.

00:00:28.060 We can all wrestle. I was going to say, our relationship has gone to a whole new level.

00:00:33.480 We've actually met for the first time in person. I'm just joking. Yeah, it's weird, but good

00:00:42.340 at the same time. Yeah, for you guys listening on, or actually watching on YouTube, you know

00:00:47.280 we're sitting side by side, which is kind of odd for us on the podcast, but Sean's in town.

00:00:53.340 Maybe you give the reason why you're in town. Yeah, dropping my daughter off at BYU at school.

00:00:58.060 So it's a first one. One down, three to go. And mom's a little sad. Is dad sad at all?

00:01:05.400 Or just mom? Just mom. Just mom. Yeah, it's, and I don't even think sad, just emotional.

00:01:10.900 Yeah. Can't help herself. It's a change. Everything. Yeah. She, we went to the BYU

00:01:15.540 game on Saturday and my wife, my boys have played football for nine years now. My oldest started

00:01:25.120 when he was six. He's 15 now. Yeah. And she's always clueless at games. Like, yeah. Doesn't

00:01:30.720 know what's going on. Not really. Cheers every so often. You have to tell her. She kind

00:01:34.840 of just doesn't even like going. She's, she doesn't have a good time football game. She

00:01:38.420 will not go to the high school games with us when we go. She just didn't like him. Oh,

00:01:42.500 okay. She's just like not into it. And we go and she had that, like the best time of

00:01:47.160 her life. She had so much fun. At the BYU game. At the BYU. Because it was a great game

00:01:51.600 too. Florida, right? Florida. Sam Houston. Oh, that was the Utes. Sorry. Utah had a great

00:01:59.200 game too, actually. But yeah. But yeah. And they, they, it was just fun. The whole student

00:02:04.840 section, the whole vibe, you know, college football is more fun than any other football

00:02:09.040 game anyways. But every time the student section, cause they're nuts, you know, and super fun.

00:02:16.260 Every time they were going up doing something, she'd like start crying, you know, and she's

00:02:20.900 cause she's so happy for you. So happy. Yeah. About the experience she's about to have and

00:02:24.940 all of that. And, and it was just a blast, you know, it was, it was good, but yeah, the

00:02:29.220 emotions, she can't stop. They just keep happening. Yeah. I'm sure I, I can't

00:02:34.740 relate yet. I don't know, but I feel like I'll feel that way with the younger, with

00:02:41.220 my daughters and with the younger kids. Cause then it's like, we're running out of

00:02:46.140 them, you know, like this, this might be the last one up. Like, I don't know, Asia

00:02:50.220 and I are certainly more emotional. I think we're more emotional about our

00:02:54.000 daughters than our older boys. And then our youngest boy, which is four, you know,

00:03:01.180 we are sad actually just the other day, he was snuck into our bed in the morning.

00:03:05.300 We're like, this is it. Oh, right. Like last is our little cuddles. Yeah. Yeah.

00:03:12.460 It's kind of, it is kind of sad to think about, but it is. Yeah. Our youngest is

00:03:17.680 eight. So definitely having those cuddles, even carrying a little bit. Yeah. I had

00:03:24.680 actually after the game, the BYU game, we're walking back to our car and he fell

00:03:30.300 asleep at the end of the game. Cause it went past midnight and I'm carrying him and

00:03:35.640 he's on my back and just walking along and had this thought. I remember being a

00:03:41.040 kid and my dad picking me up and he hurt his back. Cause I was just too big for

00:03:45.680 him. He hurt his back while carrying you while carrying it. And I remember as a kid

00:03:50.320 having this thought like, Oh, dad can't carry me anymore. Like I was kind of bummed. It

00:03:55.280 made me sad. Yeah. And for whatever reason, I'm carrying my son on my back and like connected

00:04:03.440 to that moment. It's like, you ever see the movie Ratatouille when he eats the Ratatouille

00:04:06.920 and he goes back to that moment. It was like one of those moments. Yeah. And I'm like, Oh,

00:04:12.060 I started getting emotional with him on my back. Cause it's like, it was fine. It wasn't

00:04:16.660 hurting my back yet, but I'm like, he's not far. Cause I'm looking at my other boys

00:04:21.340 that are, you know, 15 and 13 and they're like little men. Yeah. Cause they're big.

00:04:27.120 They're going to be way bigger than me. Yeah. And I'm like, man, he's right on the

00:04:31.560 brink of that being done. I remember as a kid pretending to be asleep all the time.

00:04:40.640 So my dad would carry me to bed. Yeah. Wow. And I, and I actually remember, I remember

00:04:46.020 the moment when he didn't, he chose to shake me and go, go to bed because probably cause

00:04:56.000 I was, I was getting too big for it. Yeah. Oh, that's sad. Oh, anyhow, that was a huge

00:05:00.680 digress. So we're in town or Sean's in town. It's holiday weekend. I have Monday off. We

00:05:07.200 thought let's go grab some lunch and we'll record in person. So hopefully audio is all

00:05:12.260 good and no issues there. We did some tests. Um, but, uh, yeah, we look good. Yeah. Good

00:05:18.520 hats. Yeah. Our match. They're not matching. They're not matching, but we do have our order

00:05:25.760 man swag on. So to look like us, go to order of man.com or store.orderofman.com. All right.

00:05:33.800 Let's, uh, let's, let's get into this. So we're going to field questions from the iron council.

00:05:38.540 Um, we're going to be opening up the IC roughly in about a week or so. So if you're curious

00:05:44.980 about joining, go to order, order of man.com slash iron council, learn more. Um, this is

00:05:51.260 our mastermind group. And this is a community that we're both part of where we hold each

00:05:56.840 other accountable. And, and I do think it's serious. Um, and I think it's highly valuable,

00:06:03.120 especially in the climate and the environment that we live in today, where, um, to be frank,

00:06:08.600 most guys's friends are people we work with, but we don't respect maybe guys that we went

00:06:14.660 to high school with, but we don't respect, or there are wife's friends, husbands, which

00:06:20.740 we might like, but not really respect. So not to get overly negative, but I really do think

00:06:27.640 that's how it works with guys. We, we, we, it's like by chance that we choose who we hang

00:06:32.360 out with. And so for those guys that are like, Hey man, I'm, I'm around the wrong crowd, or

00:06:37.280 I need to be around other men to be more intentional about who I hang around. The iron council is

00:06:42.660 a really good resource for like-minded individuals that are about something. So once again, order

00:06:49.000 of man.com slash iron council. All right, we'll get into these questions. It's all about love

00:06:53.600 on this first question. Rob, uh, Giraffalo, Giraffalo, something I've been thinking about the

00:06:59.660 last week or so. What is love? What is love connection? Do you live with love all around

00:07:06.760 you? Do you truly love yourself? Are men afraid or unsure how to be truly loved? So there's

00:07:12.280 a lot of questions there. Just what's your opinion about this subject or pick one of the questions,

00:07:18.460 I guess. Yeah. I mean, I think for me, love is anything that brings good feelings into your

00:07:25.940 life. I mean, that's to me what love is and anything that brings negativity and it's, I can't help but go

00:07:35.780 religiously here. I mean, for me, love is from God. And so anything that's good, that brings good

00:07:44.180 spirit is, this is a form of love connected, right? So that what is a love connection? I think that's

00:07:51.400 love connected and anything outside of that, that brings bad feelings, discouragement, sadness. Um,

00:07:59.240 it's not. Yeah. And so it love, like we were talking about my wife being sad, right? Yeah. Some

00:08:04.740 people say, well, what if you feel sad? Yeah. But that's a different, she's feeling sad because of

00:08:10.320 a love connection because she's in love with my daughter, because she's going to miss being with

00:08:15.820 her all the time. Yeah. It's not, it's, it's out of love that she, that she's feeling the way that

00:08:22.940 she's feeling. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not making her feel bad about herself or a situation or something

00:08:27.860 like that. And so for me that I think that's what love is anything that makes you feel good and

00:08:35.300 positive about your life, your future, your surroundings. I don't know. That's from the hip.

00:08:40.960 Let me, let me ask you this. What's your opinion about the term, um, being in love when, when you

00:08:49.180 hear, let's, we'll relate it to, you know, grown men since that's the majority of our audience here.

00:08:54.880 It's like, when you hit like, we're out of love, we fallen out of love. What's your thoughts about

00:09:00.280 that, that phrase, or do you have an opinion about it? I have a, I have a strong opinion about it.

00:09:06.660 I think most of the time, most of the time, not every time. Yeah. Cause I think there's, there's

00:09:12.200 just like anything, right. There's, there's going to be times where it's valid. Um, but I think most

00:09:19.200 of the time it's an excuse for not wanting to do the work involved. That's like this elusive thing

00:09:25.480 that we, we, uh, lost control of and, uh, it's too late and we're out of love. So, you know,

00:09:31.740 yes. Right. And where you're not wanting to do the work to stay in love and, um, you know,

00:09:40.160 or, or you hear people say, I love you, but I'm not in love with you. Yeah. And so I think what that

00:09:47.980 is, is a lot of times as men, when they say that it's like, I love you. I love who I fell in love

00:09:55.240 with who, you know, I, I loved as a person when we first started dating or we got married or whatever.

00:10:03.000 Right. And now I've fallen out of love with you usually means I'm not sexually attracted to you

00:10:09.180 as much anymore. You know, I'm not excitement is missing, or I'm not as lustful about you.

00:10:15.480 Not as lustful, not also maybe, I mean, personalities change as we grow. It's just a part of life. And so

00:10:23.200 in any relationship, you're going to grow apart from people and grow closer. And when you're in an

00:10:29.480 intimate relationship with somebody as you're growing apart, and if one of you wants and encourages

00:10:35.600 that growth and one doesn't, that creates a separation and you have two choices. You can

00:10:41.740 choose to work and make that better, but it has to be mutual. And so if one of you is not choosing that,

00:10:49.120 that's where, you know, where the validity comes in, the falling out of love. But honestly,

00:10:56.640 I think most of the time, it's an excuse for you to not have to put in the work to stay in love,

00:11:02.680 to keep that flame hot. That's even little things, right? Like going on date nights,

00:11:08.020 doing those sorts of things that keep intimacy in a relationship. It takes work. It takes planning.

00:11:13.640 It takes effort. It takes not necessarily doing exactly what you want to do all the time.

00:11:19.320 Yep. To keep it hot and burning. And so it's a lot of times you don't have that. So that's my

00:11:25.760 opinion. Yeah. Not shocking that something worthwhile requires some work, right? To keep it. No,

00:11:33.740 I totally agree. You know, one thing he said, men are, are, are men afraid or unsure how to be loved?

00:11:40.780 I think so. Yeah. What, in what way, how does that show up? How am I unsure how to be loved?

00:11:49.220 I mean, I couldn't only say how I feel there is that I, I feel like I'm a loving person that I'm

00:11:54.320 carrying. I'm positive. I like to affect people around me in a positive way, but I don't necessarily

00:12:00.900 like recognition, positive recognition. Um, my wife yesterday, we're at this Airbnb and I was,

00:12:11.380 we got out of bed. I was about to get in the shower and, um, and she's just laying in bed. Right.

00:12:17.440 And, um, and I've been getting ready for elk season and, and so I've been working out more.

00:12:23.640 And then right after elk season, we're going to Fiji. So I'm going to be surfing and I want to be

00:12:28.680 in surfing shape and I want to drop a bunch of weight. So it's easier to paddle into waves and

00:12:33.680 stuff. Yeah. So I'm working out a little more. So as I'm getting undressed, she's like, Hey,

00:12:39.660 let me see you. I want to see your body. And we've been married 21 years. Yeah. Right. And

00:12:46.040 still heard like, that's kind of validation. I think most men are looking for. You want your wife to

00:12:51.480 say that. Right. Like, Hey, I want to see, I want to look at you with your clothes off. Yeah.

00:12:55.860 Like everyone wants that. Yeah. But still inside, I'm like, I don't know how to take that. Right.

00:13:01.760 Like this is interesting though, but let me be really clear. So in the moment you might be like,

00:13:07.720 okay, nah, whatever. Right. Or you might downplay it, but your internal thought process after the fact

00:13:16.940 or outside of that exact scenario is all positive though. Right. You're like, hell yeah. Like

00:13:22.440 nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You just, in the moment you're not, you're, you're going to almost

00:13:27.460 downplay it a little bit, but immediately afterwards you're like internal dialogue is yes. That's

00:13:34.200 awesome. Yeah. Right. I think it comes with what he said. Like, I don't know how to be loved that way.

00:13:38.500 I don't know how to take that compliment. Yeah. I don't know how to, but you can take that compliment.

00:13:42.620 You just don't take it well in the moment in front of her. No, no, no. Okay. It's, it's,

00:13:49.160 it was like, I literally didn't know what to say next or how to respond or do the helicopter.

00:14:01.440 For more around how to do the helicopter, reach out to Sean. He'll, he'll explain it.

00:14:07.640 Pretty proficient.

00:14:08.340 But that, yeah. So I think just, it could be just a me thing, but I think most men by most of my

00:14:17.860 friends and most of the men that are at least comfortable talking about it. Yeah. They don't

00:14:21.680 really know. They're just, we're always, I think, concerned with how we show up, who we are and how

00:14:28.060 we're affecting the people around us more so that we don't really care as much. We didn't, even though

00:14:34.200 we care, but we don't outwardly and openly care about how they take it, how they say it.

00:14:40.860 Totally. You know, I have been, um, I I'm exactly the same way. Uh, if, if I got presence or even

00:14:49.740 words, too many words of affirmation, whatever, I, I, I like to read the, the letter by myself

00:14:57.400 so I can fully appreciate it. If my wife writes me a letter of gratitude and watches me read it,

00:15:05.560 I feel uncomfortable. Yeah. Like adversaries and stuff. Yeah. But if I'm like in a room by myself

00:15:10.960 and I read it, then I can get fully connected to it. I'm the same way I've had to intentionally

00:15:17.860 work at it. And if my wife listens to this episode, she's like, he's been working at it. Cause I've,

00:15:22.460 I've noticed zero progress in this area is probably what she would think, but, um, I've been coached

00:15:31.120 at least to like, don't rob that from people. Like we do it all the time. Like I, I even sometimes

00:15:40.140 people are like, Hey Kip, I really appreciate what you do on the podcast. Right. Or whatever.

00:15:44.080 And, and even in DMS, you might reply like, thanks, bro. Fist bump, fist bump.

00:15:48.460 Right. And what I should say is, Hey, Adam, I really appreciate you taking the time and saying

00:15:57.440 that it really means a lot. Truly. That's how I feel. Yeah. But that's not what I say.

00:16:03.700 Right. Or when we get compliments or when our wife say, Hey, you know, let me see you do your

00:16:08.680 dance or whatever. You don't go like, Hey babe, thank you. Like that's really meaningful to me.

00:16:13.960 Yeah. And we should, cause that's what we think probably. Right. But, but it takes intentionality

00:16:20.860 and it kind of robs people of it. Right. Like there's a big difference. Like if I,

00:16:25.000 if I complimented you, Sean, and I said something and you're like, Oh man, thanks. But if you like

00:16:31.180 paused and go, Hey Kip, thank you. Like, I really appreciate that. Like now you didn't rob me of my

00:16:38.040 compliment. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, and you were fully present to what I was saying.

00:16:43.860 I, and I got coached that years back and in hindsight, I'm like, Hmm, I mean, like everything

00:16:49.300 else we see on this podcast afterwards, I'm like, Hmm, I should be doing that better than I do. Yeah.

00:16:54.940 And not take that opportunity away from someone when they're being truthful with us, you know,

00:16:59.960 and showing us gratitude. So, yeah, it makes me think of, as you said that, like we're talking

00:17:07.220 mostly about kind of the man and woman love that we show each other, but what you just said,

00:17:13.880 that kind of bro love, if you want to call it that. Totally. Uh, and as you were saying,

00:17:18.660 and I was thinking of when you got your black belt, now you've been a black belt for a while.

00:17:23.600 Yeah. Right. But when you got it, how many guys congratulated you is probably kind of overwhelming.

00:17:28.640 Yeah. Yeah. And in that moment, like you work for some X number of years, all of the sweat,

00:17:36.400 all of the blood, all of the injuries, all of the overcoming to get to that point, how much that

00:17:41.920 means obviously is very valuable to you. Totally. And then to gain those compliments is like,

00:17:48.780 do you really know how to be loved, especially by other guys? Cause that's how they show it. Right.

00:17:54.220 Like, Oh bro, congrats. Hey man. You know? And so how, you know, did that affect you? And then now

00:18:01.440 that you are still, you know, if people still bring it up because it's a big deal, like you go to any

00:18:07.060 gym, you're in a gym with a bunch of black belts, right? But you go to any gym, you know, and all of

00:18:12.340 the black belts just have this different level of love. If you could call it that they receive from

00:18:18.400 everybody. Yeah. You know? So like in the moment of first getting there to now, have you seen yourself

00:18:27.240 receive it better? Yeah. Or is it still kind of the same? I've always gotten better at receiving

00:18:33.960 like expressions of love, which is say it that way. This is, this isn't a potty story. So, but like,

00:18:42.160 let me just illustrate really quick. So I, I was raised in a very interesting aspect from,

00:18:49.480 from this situation. For instance, I have never heard my father say, I love you before.

00:18:58.000 Never. Still like never, no. Yeah. Right. Like all the way until an adult. Yeah. Right. I tell you

00:19:05.040 how long ago he did. Maybe he did when I was a kid, but I have never heard him say it to any of my

00:19:10.220 siblings and I've never heard him ever tell it to me. Wow. And even awkwardly, right? Hey dad,

00:19:17.380 how you doing? Bola. Love you. All right. We'll see you. And not, Oh really? Yes. Very, very weird.

00:19:23.880 Okay. Very weird. I used to have a whole story about this, how my dad doesn't really love me.

00:19:29.060 You know what I mean? And this line perfectly up with my story, if that makes sense. So I,

00:19:33.640 I come from an environment when he did it. Uh, he died last year. So it's been a year and what year and a

00:19:39.280 half. Okay. On my birthday. Wow. Yeah. So that's a lot of years. Yeah. So I, so that's kind of my

00:19:45.840 upbringing, right? We, even my siblings, it's awkward. If we say, I love you, it feels a little

00:19:52.240 forced. And then, um, and then I live in my family where I tell my kids, I love them. Like there's

00:19:59.720 like, it's, I don't know, just randomly all the time, you know? And, and, and it's crazy,

00:20:07.100 even jujitsu brotherhood, or even in the IC, like the kind of relationship I've had with,

00:20:12.880 with guys in the iron council, it is not uncommon that I will get a guy saying, Kip, man, I love you.

00:20:19.360 And I'm like, that is so not how I was raised. It is so weird to be awkward. Like not, Oh, not a bad

00:20:30.400 trigger, but is it like, like you, is it, is it kind of like flight where you know, it just shocks me

00:20:36.620 a little bit. Cause I'm like, Ooh, man, like I'm not used to affection. Yeah. Certainly not from men.

00:20:43.860 Um, you know, one of, one of my, one of a great experience I had, well, guys, we promise we'll

00:20:50.100 get off this question here in a second. Um, it's a deep one. Yeah. Uh, I was at, we were at the,

00:20:57.300 one of our, uh, order of man events. Um, I think it was last year and, um, and I won't disclose his

00:21:05.360 name cause I don't, I don't want to, I want to be respectful. And, uh, one of the older gentlemen

00:21:12.140 there that I respect, um, at the event for whatever reason, like I was like on day two or

00:21:18.440 three, he comes up to me and he goes, Kip, I want to pray for you. And he, and he grabs the

00:21:27.340 kind of the back of my head, puts his forehead against my forehead, embraces me and just praise

00:21:34.860 to God on my behalf. Dude, I was going to ball. Yeah. Right. Because that is so meaningful to hear

00:21:48.680 someone from their heart, speak love about not just how much they appreciate you, but what they

00:21:55.780 want for you, you know, and it was profound and I'm like, never like, that's not normal in my life.

00:22:03.980 Right. And so, you know, whether it's through the IC or even through a jujitsu brotherhood,

00:22:09.480 even my jujitsu brothers, I, I hear them say that love you, man. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's

00:22:13.740 just like, Whoa. And it's crazy, but I have to sit with it, you know, and go, yeah, I love you too.

00:22:22.520 Right. Not do what I naturally want to do, which is just like, yeah, thanks, bro. You know what I mean?

00:22:27.500 And walk away. Like I have to get really present and like, yeah, that's, that's, I love you too.

00:22:33.320 I appreciate that, you know? Yeah. Uh, and thanks for filling me, you know, because I do think it's

00:22:39.020 something I need. So, so then the answer I think would be probably for most men that they're not

00:22:44.600 sure how to be truly loved. And then, so then what have you done about it? So if that's true for you

00:22:51.200 and that's true for me, yeah. What do you find yourself with your boys? Like, like making yourself

00:22:56.840 say, I love you. Maybe like, I know with my boys, I I'll pet their head. I'll give them a kiss on the

00:23:02.560 top of their head. I'll, you know, like I'll hug them more often. And I just try and make sure that

00:23:10.660 I say it more and that I am a little more like physical, even with them to, to, to teach myself so

00:23:20.460 that they don't have the same issues. Yeah. I'm, I'm the same way. I I'm, I'm very physical with my

00:23:26.860 kids. I tell them I love them all the time. I hold their faces, look in their eyes and just make

00:23:32.420 sure that they're fully present. And I think just being present with it, right? If, if someone is

00:23:37.340 saying, if the wife is saying, Hey, do that dance thing that you do be present in the moment and do

00:23:43.600 your best helicopter ever, you know? And, and, and how much, how often should we be saying like,

00:23:49.580 thanks? Yeah. That's really meaningful because I actually, you know, my wife has given me that

00:23:54.220 feedback. Do you even appreciate it when I say this? Do you even appreciate it when I buy you these

00:23:59.800 things? Cause you don't seem like you appreciate it. Yeah. And, and it's, it's the lack of me not

00:24:06.520 being fully present and saying, thank you. Right. And, and really also expressing back how much I

00:24:12.240 appreciate those things. Yeah. All right. One question down 20 more to go. All right. Tyler

00:24:18.060 Smith. Do either of you have small items that you bring hunting with you for the deer season that

00:24:23.200 you're, that you would never want to forget. I'm going on my second hunting season and I want to

00:24:28.380 make sure that my pack has what it needs to be successful. And you're, you're all in it right

00:24:33.060 now. So yeah, I have, I'll just bring up my. Yes. It's packing list. All right. So I'm a bow hunter.

00:24:41.400 So I, the only time I'll rifle hunt is with my kids. So this is all related to bow hunts.

00:24:47.900 So top of my list, every time I release, I literally feel like completely naked. If I

00:24:55.260 don't know where my release is at all times. Oh, the I'm not, I'm new to archery. So this

00:25:00.560 is the clip that, that you pull back the. Yeah. It's like, I have a thumb release. So

00:25:05.360 got it. I'm triggered. Um, and a backup release. So I actually have two backups. Um, that's

00:25:12.300 how much of a freak I am about, about your release. Got it. Okay. And having that. So

00:25:16.840 that's a major, um, arrows, broadheads, binos, range finder, spotting scope, knives. Um, those

00:25:24.580 are all of like the things I think almost nobody forgets. Yeah. Actually I shouldn't say that

00:25:29.540 when you do, cause everybody forgets something at some point they're like, duh. Um, but then

00:25:35.380 here's the other stuff that I think a lot of people forget headlamps. Yeah. So a headlamp

00:25:40.120 and a backup, um, baby wipes are top of my list. Yep. So something. Yeah. So you can take

00:25:47.540 a dump and feel good. Not just that, but let's say you're, let's say you're camping, right?

00:25:53.520 Yeah. Clean. Yeah. Right. Like to clean yourself to like, you'll, you only have to not do it

00:25:59.200 once. You only have to get rashy. Yeah. Like one time without it to kind of figure out you

00:26:04.720 need it. Um, band-aids and I bring Neosporin too. Um, cause you get blisters. Yep. That's

00:26:12.380 gloves. I'm assuming you have gloves on that list. Zip ties. Um, that's with my gear. Like,

00:26:17.380 um, gear is all like my camo, you know, whatever I'm going to be wearing. Um, zip ties are, that's

00:26:25.740 one of those things when you kill, you need to attach your tag and you'd feel like an idiot when

00:26:31.860 you're out there and you have nothing to attach your tag with, you know, you got a Jimmy or something,

00:26:36.140 um, game bags, I think are overlooked a bunch, a Leatherman, a bone saw. Oh yeah. Um,

00:26:43.520 good call. Even the little small bones, some bones on some capacity is really helpful. And

00:26:50.360 Allen wrench, um, sup for me supplements. Um, now here's where mine is different than maybe others.

00:26:58.800 I bring melatonin and a pillow. Yeah. So I could sleep on pretty much anything if I have the right

00:27:06.740 pillow and everybody's different there. Some guys like need to have a mat or something. Yeah. I like

00:27:12.820 the mat. Yeah. I mean, everyone's different for me. It's a pillow. So I need that. And then

00:27:17.560 melatonin just helps me fall because when I'm hunting, we were talking about this a little bit

00:27:22.700 of breakfast that the scenarios that go on in your head and you can't stop thinking about all the

00:27:27.760 different scenarios. And so, especially at the beginning of a hunt to be able to fall asleep,

00:27:33.080 I found, I just take, you know, 5 million grams melatonin and I can at least fall asleep is helpful.

00:27:39.420 Um, and then socks, extra socks, obviously your boots, gear tent. And then I have a camping box

00:27:46.860 for when I'm going that has all the essentials for starting fires, being able to prepare food or,

00:27:56.160 you know, just, just emergency type stuff or say, all that stuff is in my camping box.

00:28:01.380 And, you know, I make sure I, you're the bigger hunter here. So probably my thoughts are as valuable,

00:28:07.620 but, um, and I don't even know what it's called, but I have like a, it's almost like a manly fanny

00:28:13.020 pack, but it's not a fanny pack. And it's like a straps here. And that thing is so valuable because

00:28:19.980 I put my snacks in there, fire starting stuff, stuff that I need with me as I'm out and about.

00:28:27.440 And if I didn't have that, and I was like trying to cram that stuff into pockets, it would be a mess.

00:28:32.380 So that bag is, is super critical to me. Um, and man, I don't know if everything else that you've

00:28:39.800 already said, I wouldn't add anything to it. Yeah. There you go, Tyler. Good hunting, man.

00:28:46.060 Yeah. Good luck. All right. Regan Huffner, what methods, modalities, principles,

00:28:53.420 and et cetera, have been most helpful with healing and mental health after going through

00:28:58.300 something very difficult or traumatic principles, methods as part of the healing process around

00:29:07.760 mental health. For me, it's focusing on the future. So focusing on what's coming. And, uh,

00:29:17.420 one thing I've been very good at since actually always, I think it's one of my blessings is that

00:29:23.840 I tend to overlook the difficulties I'm in now. I don't know if it's because growing up in a really,

00:29:30.500 a bunch of really difficult situations. Yeah. You learn to kind of like bury stuff and forget about

00:29:37.220 it and just try and be positive and focused. And, and, and so I know everybody's different there.

00:29:43.140 I think more often for people, it's easier for them to dwell in the negatives, you know,

00:29:48.940 and, and kind of what the current circumstance. So one of my blessings is always been to know this

00:29:55.880 is only temporary. Yeah. And then, but then also knowing what you want. So that's where like the

00:30:03.120 battle plan are so important in your vision. Yeah. Because if you are clear on your vision and what you

00:30:08.840 want and what's coming for your life, then anything happening in between is, and if you also expect it

00:30:16.500 to not be easy to get there and have that, then any of those unexpected things, or maybe even sometimes

00:30:22.880 expected things that happen along the way are just a part of the process that you knew, or you were told

00:30:31.740 were going to happen along the way to try and distract you or try and knock you off course from

00:30:36.320 the things you're trying to achieve. And, and so knowing it and believing it are for me, the things

00:30:44.760 that have gotten me through that. And then the only other third one I could think of is I think of

00:30:52.240 when he's talking traumatic, the last traumatic thing that happened to me really was my mom dying.

00:30:57.700 And I, I connected to her instead of being like, Oh, woe is me. This sucks. And I hate that this is

00:31:05.220 happening to, you know, this happened to her and whatever I acted like, well, what would mom want

00:31:10.640 me to do? Would she want me to cry about it, to mope around, to be less productive, to not be the best

00:31:21.020 version of myself? Like she expected me to be, or would she want me to like suck it up and pull it

00:31:25.880 together and go, you know, follow that my vision, like I was talking about. And so I think the

00:31:33.500 combination of those few things of what has helped me.

00:31:36.340 I think that's spot on. I think when we're in that space of anxiety, worry, and resentment and

00:31:43.440 frustration and sadness and all those things, we, we don't complete the thought. We go, Oh,

00:31:51.140 you know, this is a horrible bet. And then we don't go. So what are you going to do about it?

00:31:57.580 Like, okay, awesome. Now what's next, right? Like we just stay in that space of angst. I'm working

00:32:07.880 on a bunch of stuff related at work to, to what I'm about to say. And I think it's a powerful concept,

00:32:13.440 but most of the mental healing and traumatic and difficult circumstances are in the space of

00:32:23.040 victimhood. And I, and I, and Tyler don't take it for what it's worth. Like try to hear me out here,

00:32:28.940 not Tyler Regan, try to hear me out here. Cause I think this is critical is where, when we're in the

00:32:35.500 space of victimhood, we're being acted upon it's outside of our realm of control. And in a lot of

00:32:42.560 cases we have a persecutor and that persecutor could be an event. It could be a person, but it's

00:32:48.940 this thing being acted upon us that holds us into that space of victimhood. And it's in that space

00:32:56.880 that we feel disempowered. Why? Because we're a victim of it because there's nothing we can do.

00:33:02.460 And what I'm hearing is, what do you think? Well, what am I going to do about it? Which is not a form

00:33:08.800 of being a victim. That's being a form of being empowered, right? And empowerment requires us

00:33:15.220 to own our piece in it and determine what is next for us. And so just I'm reiterating it,

00:33:23.240 maybe just saying it a different way that Sean already said is you need to get out of that space

00:33:28.400 of victimhood and into the space of empowerment. And the way we do that is by being very clear what

00:33:34.820 is within our realm of control and taking action around that realm of control. And, and one of the

00:33:41.720 more powerful things that I've latched onto when I think of traumatic scenarios or how I determine

00:33:47.360 what's in my realm of control is getting clear on reality versus the story. Here's, here's the,

00:33:54.680 and people might get sideways with what I'm about to say. Most traumatic scenarios that you've ever

00:34:00.600 experienced in your life is your creation. Even if you were beat to the pulp from your parents,

00:34:09.540 the trauma that you have is what it meant about you, not actually what occurred. And most of the trauma

00:34:18.200 is actually in our interpretation of the event itself. And thus who has ownership over the

00:34:25.740 interpretation? You do. I do. And so we can get really clear between those two scenarios and deal in

00:34:34.440 reality, right? Was your dad a jerk or was he absent? Sure. He was absent. Did it mean he didn't

00:34:40.740 love you? Yes or no? No, actually it doesn't mean that at all. I back to my scenario. Doesn't mean my

00:34:46.500 dad doesn't love me if he didn't say I love you. No, not at all. Who knows? Maybe have some empathy

00:34:53.940 and go, geez, well, what was his circumstance? Did he ever hear from his dad? What trauma was he

00:34:58.620 dealing with? Right? Maybe he was doing his best he could do. Right? Like there is so much things

00:35:04.040 unknown, but yet we jump to the conclusions of what should or should not be so much that we blind

00:35:12.980 ourselves with reality versus our interpretation. And for me, the most powerful thing I've used to deal

00:35:20.400 with hardship and traumatic experiences is getting clear on what my story was and then deal in reality

00:35:27.380 and take action back to your point that you said earlier. I just had a thought as you said that

00:35:32.460 one more tool to use is who you surround yourself with. So as you were talking about the IC in the

00:35:40.980 beginning, I had the same thought that most circumstances, as you mentioned, victim head,

00:35:46.960 most upbringings, most environments that people live in, we listen to our family members, people around

00:35:53.540 us, tell us, oh, you can't do that. Yeah. You can't do that. Not for people like us. That's the

00:35:59.720 cards we were dealt and you just got to deal with it. That's the best we can do because you being a

00:36:04.780 victim of our circumstance helps solidify the fact of I'm still a victim of my, and it's a collusion,

00:36:10.280 right? Like if I can't get out, you can't get out. Hey, we're in this together. I feel so much

00:36:15.060 better now. Now, at least I'm not alone. Exactly. And that's the old term, misery loves

00:36:21.460 company. Yep. And that's so true. True. In most circumstances, that's the majority of environments

00:36:26.960 and the majority of people. So get into an environment. That's where the IC is so valuable

00:36:31.880 because I mean, how many guys have you seen get help through traumatic experiences? I mean,

00:36:36.340 it's a weekly we're dealing with that with guys and helping them do those situations. And I mean,

00:36:41.480 I've, I've been the IC now four years, four or five years now. And in that time, I've probably seen

00:36:48.280 over a hundred guys that were like, honestly, I don't know if I would have made it through there

00:36:52.020 without your guys in dark spaces getting through. Yeah. Good stuff. All right. Scott English,

00:36:59.600 when scaling your business, did your vision change dramatically throughout the process? What

00:37:05.580 tactics did you use to stay focused on your vision and keep from getting, um, mired,

00:37:12.220 mired in the daily challenges of building your business? Oh, I see. Like almost distracted and

00:37:16.940 just heads down in the process day to day and lose. Yeah. Lose track of the long-term vision. Um,

00:37:23.900 the

00:37:35.580 that big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Got it. And so you can only stretch so much. Yeah. When I started my

00:37:41.400 business, it wasn't possible until you got more knowledge. And so, I mean, I'll, I'll even go to

00:37:47.280 as base of a level is income. Cause that's like a very low level when you're talking vision. Yeah.

00:37:53.460 That's probably the lowest level is like monetary things. Yeah. But that's why I think it's a good

00:37:57.440 example. Cause I was working 70 to 80 hours a week at my prior job before starting my business

00:38:03.360 to take home 3000 bucks a month. Yeah. It's labor intensive, hard work. So me wrapping my brain

00:38:11.400 around, you know, I can go doing what I do now in financial services. I could sit with somebody and

00:38:16.420 literally spend two hours and make $20,000, you know, like, and so to wrap, I could not wrap my

00:38:24.160 brain around that. And so my thought was, Hey, if I can just make five grand a month, but have control

00:38:31.960 my schedule, that's a like complete bliss. All my dreams would come true. I couldn't even imagine

00:38:38.480 the lifestyle I was going to have when I, when I got there and very quickly got there and realize,

00:38:46.180 well, this is no big deal at all. Like I can make 10 book, 10 grand a month. What would that be?

00:38:52.120 Yeah. And I started trying to wrap my brain around that. I couldn't, there's no way I could think of

00:38:57.180 making like a couple hundred grand a month, you know, or like it was six figures. Unreachable

00:39:02.580 initially. Yeah. That's an, I didn't even know anybody. I didn't even know how that existed.

00:39:06.680 Like you knew it existed, but it's almost like believing in fairy tales. Yeah. Right. And

00:39:10.600 especially the environment I grew up in, like I was talking about, like we didn't know anybody who

00:39:14.940 was like that. And so if you can't wrap your brain around it, you can't expect to have a vision

00:39:21.980 for those things. And the thing is, if you don't believe the vision, so let's say you start with

00:39:27.420 your vision too big. Yeah. That's why earlier I said, you have to know your vision and believe it

00:39:32.600 and believe it. Yeah. Because otherwise you're not committed to it. You're not going to execute

00:39:36.400 when things get tough. It was just a pie in the sky anyway. And yeah, you'll give up. Subconsciously

00:39:42.360 you'll give up on it. Um, if you don't believe it. And so you have to go in increments and so it'll

00:39:48.980 change in that way for sure. But, um, but simultaneously it's the believing it that gets

00:39:57.440 you through the hard times and the difficult things and, uh, and what's happening in between,

00:40:04.200 um, uh, the daily challenges. Um, it was, uh, Bill Gates. I love him or hate him, but he,

00:40:11.000 one of my favorite quotes came from him. He was asked when he was building Microsoft,

00:40:14.880 Microsoft literally changed the world. And they asked him, what was that like? What did it feel

00:40:22.200 like when you were building that company? And his answer was, it felt like I was going to work every

00:40:27.180 day. Yeah. It didn't feel special. Didn't feel significant that way. We just, we had this vision,

00:40:33.520 this thing we were trying to achieve. We didn't necessarily know it was going to affect the world

00:40:36.960 in the way that it did. We were just going to work. Yeah. And so I think sometimes we have this

00:40:41.500 expectation that if we have this grand vision that works supposed to feel more significant,

00:40:46.660 but it doesn't. So we just have to learn to accept that. But, but also it's like,

00:40:51.860 it's what I'm hearing is this is the grind, right? Right. Like we can have a great vision. We can be

00:40:57.440 motivated by it or whatever, but in the end, guess what you got to do? You got to work. And, and then

00:41:03.480 you, you trust the process and you consistently keep working and, and, and back to his question,

00:41:10.060 right. You know, tactics around staying focused on the vision. What, what specific do you do?

00:41:16.180 So you're grinding, you're grinding, you're working. How do you not lose focus of the long-term

00:41:21.160 strategy or are, or is your strategy so sound that, Hey, if I just execute, we're going to get there.

00:41:27.820 So I don't need to constantly look at my vision to like, make sure I'm going in the right direction.

00:41:32.380 Cause I'm just, just executing. Yeah. It's well, and that's the thing. Like we're the first

00:41:38.640 civilization in human history that has thought that you're supposed to enjoy your work.

00:41:47.100 Yeah. Think about that. That's probably, you hear it all the time. Totally true. You hear it all the

00:41:52.640 time. People telling you, you got to, your passion, do what you do, what you call it. Yeah. You're like,

00:41:58.100 it's called work. Just get it done. It's called work. But I, I like, I love what I do. I love what I

00:42:04.320 do. I love how it affects people. I love how those people still works. I don't, I don't sit with people

00:42:09.100 and put financial plans together with them often. I still do it. Yeah. And usually it's because I'm

00:42:14.240 trying to help one of our people, you know, like learn the business. Exactly. And, and every time

00:42:20.400 though, I'm making a significant difference in these people's lives. I'm showing them things they

00:42:24.540 didn't know about putting them in a better circumstance, um, and improving it. But the process

00:42:30.000 I don't love, like, it's not like, Oh man, I love putting these numbers together for them. And I

00:42:35.820 love, you know, getting this from this company and you know, whatever the paperwork, like, yeah,

00:42:41.360 I, I, I don't want to say I hate that part. Right. But I, I certainly don't. It's not your

00:42:47.200 calling. I don't love to do it. Right. So I love my business. I love what it does. I love how it affects,

00:42:52.860 but the, the, the process to do all of those things that I love about it. Yeah. Is work. Yeah.

00:43:01.320 Totally. Totally. No, that's, that's sound, you know, here's a thought for you, Scott.

00:43:07.920 Don't lose intent. Yes. This happens all the time where we'll implement, let's say an internal process.

00:43:15.940 And let's say like at my job, we, we do what we, what we call weekly rapid fires and the intent of a

00:43:22.360 weekly rapid fire is the team to come together, review metrics that more or less illustrate is

00:43:29.080 the team winning? Yes. Or no, not the individuals, the team, are we winning? Are we progressing in the

00:43:34.680 right direction? How are we doing? Pulse check. Right. And it's amazing to me. I've been meeting

00:43:39.960 with different departments of late going, Hey, how are the, how are things going around these meetings?

00:43:45.440 And like half of them lost the original intent of that meeting. Like they're like, ah, you know what?

00:43:51.580 That rap fire is not that effective. I'm like, okay, what's going on? What are we doing? And

00:43:54.460 they're like, well, you know, everyone reports back to their individual commitments. I'm like,

00:43:58.340 well, hold on. You have a team of 25 people and everyone's listening to each other, like what

00:44:05.040 they're working on. Are they even working on the same things? No. Okay. The original intent of this

00:44:10.560 was for the team to get together and be unified around, is the team winning? Yes or no.

00:44:16.480 That's the intent of the meeting. Yeah. Don't lose sight of the intent. So whatever it is, Scott,

00:44:22.660 whether it's your, the intent of the business, the intent of what you're doing, don't lose sight of

00:44:27.060 it. As humans, I think our default behavior sometimes it's like, Hey, we're implementing

00:44:31.680 software for software sake. No, actually we're not. We're implementing software to drive effectiveness

00:44:37.160 for the client. If you lose sight of that, now we're doing things that don't make sense,

00:44:42.760 right? Or we're doing them with the, with the wrong intent. So don't lose sight of the intent.

00:44:49.040 That way you can be flexible and pivot as necessary to ultimately ensure that you're winning,

00:44:54.780 whatever those small wins are or the large company win. So just kind of remember why you're doing the

00:45:00.840 things that you're doing. That's awesome. Yeah. Got it. There you go. Soapbox. All right. Caleb DeLong,

00:45:06.980 what's the most exact, Caleb, this is like the first time anyone's ever asked this question.

00:45:11.540 What is the most exotic food you've ever eaten? There's always a first.

00:45:18.140 I don't know. Most exotic food. Most exotic.

00:45:21.840 Had some interesting things in Australia, like alligator and, and kangaroo and kangaroo.

00:45:31.320 Kangaroo. Yeah.

00:45:32.220 I ate it. They're like rats. They're like giant rats. They're everywhere.

00:45:37.480 I ate a baby koala.

00:45:39.660 Baby harpy seal.

00:45:42.960 The most adorable thing ever. I ate it.

00:45:45.940 Narwhal.

00:45:46.580 You know what? I have, when I was in, I went to India, I've been to India twice. One of my employees,

00:45:52.640 it wasn't a different trip actually. I was out there. I worked with a company. We had,

00:45:59.580 we had partnered with a company in, in Poon and they threw this big party for us. Super funny.

00:46:06.200 A whole other story. Maybe tell at some other time, but they Indians, I'm sorry for you Indians

00:46:12.880 that are listening. Your guys' desserts are nasty. Like so disgusting. Like not like,

00:46:20.500 oh, it doesn't taste good. It's like actually gross. It's disgusting. And this, this, this sweet

00:46:27.340 grandma was so excited to give me a dessert. Right. Like she had a lot of fun. Yeah. She's like,

00:46:32.880 oh, oh, you love this. Right. And I'm like, oh, you know, you know, I'm like, oh, and I'm being

00:46:37.760 respectful. I take a bite and it was like some circular bread thing with like vomit inside. It

00:46:45.820 was the most disgusting thing. And the funny part was I was, I was totally like, oh, good. Right.

00:46:53.380 And then after I got to and she like literally grabbed another one in my mouth. I was like,

00:46:59.020 oh, but it was probably the most disgusting. Caleb's question wasn't the most disgusting,

00:47:05.140 but that was really exotic. I have no idea what was in there.

00:47:07.760 It was, it was pretty gnarly. Well, my, that was actually my second thought was Indian food

00:47:12.100 because that, uh, a couple of friends of mine invited me to like big things, big, like kind of

00:47:17.980 parties. Oh yeah. Celebrations. Yeah. They throw some serious weddings and stuff. I never had the

00:47:23.560 dessert experience because I ate so much food to that point. I couldn't put down anything else,

00:47:30.220 but everything I ate was so good, but I had no idea what any of it was. Yeah. Yeah. So looking at it,

00:47:36.240 I'm like, Ooh, you know, do I want to eat that? And some of the best food I've ever had,

00:47:40.640 you know, also like trash my stomach later too, but it was like, it was worth it though. It was so

00:47:47.860 good, but I never got to the dessert part because I just couldn't put down any more food. I had eaten

00:47:53.660 so much. All right. Definitely exotic. Okay. We're not, that's all we got, man. All right.

00:47:58.020 Andy Collins, what does your morning and evening routine look like? And did they come and how did

00:48:03.240 they come about morning and evening routine? Anything special there? Um, well, every morning it's,

00:48:09.860 I get a brushing my teeth is a major one that I have to do for whatever reason. Um, thank you.

00:48:17.380 Supplements. Yeah. Supplements. Um, I, uh, reading, um, and then kids now it's kids routines for stuff.

00:48:27.600 Yeah. I, I take, I've been taking kids to seminary for even before I started having kids. My sister-in-law

00:48:34.200 lived with us, you know, and I took her early morning seminary. She was 13 to 18 lived with us.

00:48:39.840 And so, yeah, doing that, like getting kids ready, doing that kind of routine in the morning. Um,

00:48:48.300 and it's different seasons for me. So right now is, is elk season. So for the past couple months,

00:48:54.440 I'm up, you know, five in the morning, wake up my one kid, um, you know, take him to seminary.

00:49:01.420 I get home and I have my ruck pack on and I got 50 pounds on it and I go ruck around, shoot my bow,

00:49:08.600 do a bunch of stuff for about an hour and a half before I have to wake up the next kid. Yeah. Um,

00:49:15.760 and then, you know, do that. So I'm doing all my physical things and everything in the morning.

00:49:21.140 And then I'm into my day. My evening routine sets that up where, uh, when I go to bed,

00:49:28.360 my wife and I, every night. Okay. Just double check. Nice. Every night. Yeah. Yeah.

00:49:36.940 I seem tired all the time. That's fine. It's that helicopter dance.

00:49:44.980 Yeah. It does it every time. The, uh, no, we, we look at our planners every night just to double

00:49:52.140 check. So we do this Sundays as a family, but then nightly it's like, okay, what do we have tomorrow?

00:49:56.560 Yeah. Who's doing what, who's remember? You got the kids at two 30. You're like, what crap?

00:50:01.500 Yes. So it's that making sure that everything's calendar that we know ahead of time and pre-planning

00:50:08.140 the next day. So that's our routine where we're in bed. We go through that. Um, you know, it's just

00:50:16.060 part of the routine. It's, it'd be hard for one of us to fall asleep. I think without being on the

00:50:21.560 same page ready for the next day, just so we can, you know, we're maximizing every day.

00:50:27.500 Yeah. That's the normal routine. And, and then nightly routines before that, I will put in,

00:50:32.720 like, we make it a point to have dinner together as a family almost every single night. Yeah. So

00:50:39.160 there's, there's a, it's really a rare circumstance that knocks us out of having dinner together.

00:50:45.700 Got it. Yeah. I mean, I don't have much difference. I mean, obviously we, we have family prayer and

00:50:52.380 kind of like a scripture kind of reading thing before bedtime. And then usually I start yelling

00:50:58.280 at kids to about going to bed around eight until about nine 30. Then I started dropping the hammer

00:51:05.920 around 10 and I'm throwing bodies by 10 30. That's my evening routine. Um, you know, mornings,

00:51:14.980 I mean, I, I work out almost every single morning. So, um, I just get up and work out, but I usually

00:51:20.340 take my pre-workout, sit at the table, write my journal while I wait for my, uh, morning caffeine

00:51:27.400 to kick in and then, and then head off to the gym. So I haven't been as, I don't know, man,

00:51:33.300 at one point in my life, like probably about a year and a half ago, I had a really solid morning

00:51:37.160 routine. I had like would journal, I'd meditate. I did like a five minute yoga stretch thing in the

00:51:43.720 morning and it felt awesome. And it all the time. Now, when I think about it, I'm like, why aren't

00:51:49.220 I doing that now? And I probably should be. So, well, that's the seasons thing I talked about,

00:51:55.060 right? I mean, everything, it should evolve. Like if you've done the exact same thing for the past

00:52:00.440 20 years, something's probably wrong with that a little bit in some capacity, but, um, you know,

00:52:06.800 it, it, it certainly can change. I also Sundays are the only day I switch it up. So Sunday morning,

00:52:13.120 my routine is I still get up early and I still do some reading and some other things, but I also make

00:52:18.900 pancakes and bacon for the whole family. That's like our family thing. And then, then I go wake

00:52:25.100 them all up and then we all have breakfast together before church and so, you know, and so we do that.

00:52:30.020 So it's just, that's like a tradition. Yeah. Right. So I think traditions are a good part of

00:52:34.880 routines as well. Yeah. That's what they'll remember. Right. Yeah. All right. Uh, Trevor

00:52:40.120 Stevens, uh, in line with the monthly topic in the iron council, do you incorporate the concept of

00:52:46.140 concept of memento Mori into your life? If you do, what effects has it had on your life?

00:52:51.480 Memento Mori, do you know that? No. So, um, still, uh, still with philosophy, I think it,

00:52:59.060 it means, uh, to remember one's death or that life is limited, right. To really just to get

00:53:06.240 connected to your mortality. Yeah. So, um, while you think about that, um, Trevor, yeah, I actually do,

00:53:13.180 um, um, a lot actually. And then as I get older, I feel like, and I understand I'm not like on my

00:53:22.660 deathbed yet, but like the, the concept of, um, dying well is on my mind way more often than not.

00:53:33.080 Um, especially when I'm young, it's like, how, how do we, how do we exit, uh, in a really good,

00:53:38.760 powerful way. Right. And so that's on my mind. I, I, I concept that I've used, uh, I think it's

00:53:45.540 called Nate negative visualization. The Stoics use that. Um, one of my favorite books on the subject

00:53:51.440 of Stoicism is the guide to the good life. It's like my favorite book of all time. Um, but for a

00:54:00.700 while I would practice negative visualization in the morning. And so what I would think about is that,

00:54:07.000 um, uh, and, and, and it's not really negative. It's true that today's limited and, and there's

00:54:15.940 maybe not a tomorrow for my kids. There's maybe not a tomorrow for my wife. There's maybe not a

00:54:21.680 tomorrow for me. Um, and to get really present to that, um, really changes the way I say goodbye in

00:54:30.520 the morning. It really changed how present I am with my kids if they want to play. Um, and so,

00:54:37.540 yeah, I think, um, that concept of momentum worry is, is critical, uh, for us to really get present to

00:54:45.820 what blessings we have and to take advantage of the time that we do have. Cause it's not guaranteed

00:54:51.040 for us. And it's obviously not guaranteed for those in our, in our, in our lives.

00:54:54.780 I got introduced to this, um, by my friend, Ed actually, he, he quoted Michael Landon. I don't

00:55:05.100 know if you remember Michael Landon, um, little house on the prairie highway to heaven, the dad,

00:55:10.580 the dad, but he also produced all of those. Oh, he was, he was a Hollywood producer and he was famous

00:55:16.640 for producing all of the wholesome quote unquote shows. Yeah. Um, they were all faith-based. They were

00:55:23.420 all values-based, you know, and, and good message, very good message. Um, very positive, uplifting,

00:55:31.720 you know, all of those things. And he died of cancer and like fairly young, not really old.

00:55:37.240 And, um, and he was, he had this great quote when he was on his deathbed. He's like, man,

00:55:42.180 I wish someone had told me sometime in my early twenties that I was dying, you know, and they were

00:55:48.200 asking him, you know, like how he failed about his life, his accomplishments, all this. So he's like,

00:55:51.680 I just, I wish someone told me when I was young that I was dying and I would have done a little

00:55:56.280 bit more. I would have pushed a little harder. I would have tried more things. I would have

00:55:59.120 totally. And this guy who did a lot of great things with his life. Yeah. And he still

00:56:03.340 remembered. Well, yeah. And, um, and so when that was introduced as a concept for me, I just made it a

00:56:11.140 point to, um, remind myself that I'm dying. Yeah. And so that I pushed that little bit harder,

00:56:19.580 that little bit more, that one more time, that one more thing, that one, you know, more little bit

00:56:27.740 of effort before the day ends. And, um, and then every time I drive, I'm really fortunate. Now I live

00:56:38.380 in a place in Tennessee where the, in California, you didn't see, um, graveyards. They're not like

00:56:47.180 prominent. They don't stand out. They're kind of hidden behind gates and walls and things like

00:56:51.240 that. You don't really see them. And in Tennessee, there's open graveyards everywhere. Yeah. You know,

00:56:55.900 and so I have a couple of, you know, fairly good size ones near where I live. And so I get a daily

00:57:02.560 reminder. That's where I'm headed. Yeah. And I actually like it because it, every time I drive by

00:57:07.900 one, I remember, okay, am I on track today? Yeah. What, what am I off track? Am I letting things slip?

00:57:15.400 Am I, so I kind of, it helps keep me accountable to, am I giving it my best? Am I all? Totally. Yeah.

00:57:23.380 It's funny not to get on a tangent too much, but it's just, it's something to consider is we're

00:57:29.160 stupid. Humans are stupid about death. At least we are now. I mean, it's really interesting. Like we

00:57:36.060 don't want to talk about it. We don't discuss it. We don't, uh, we all pretend it's not going to happen,

00:57:41.620 but yet it's the very thing that we all have in common. We all will die. Yeah. But yet what are

00:57:49.100 we are the average person? Are they preparing to die well? And the answer to that is no,

00:57:55.540 they're all pretending they're not going to die and they're avoiding it. Yeah. And I don't think

00:58:00.460 it's unhealthy whatsoever to get really present to it. Of course, we need to know how that's going to go.

00:58:07.020 Of course we want to, you know, we want to deal in reality, like we were saying earlier,

00:58:12.060 not like some fake pretense, like that's not going to happen. Of course it's going to happen.

00:58:16.740 So how do we deal with that in a really positive, powerful way versus pretending it's not going to

00:58:23.720 exist? It's really interesting that we do it. And I think that's why you're morbid. You do.

00:58:28.180 It's, that's, I think that's why I think most people avoid it is because you can approach it

00:58:34.900 one of two ways. Like I'm going to die. So what do I want to be said about me in my eulogy?

00:58:40.680 Yeah. How many people are going to be, what's my legacy? What impact will I have? What effect

00:58:45.740 will I have in people's lives? Is it going to be positive or negative? Or you can take the approach

00:58:50.180 of, well, we're going to die anyway. So why try? Yeah. Yeah. You can be a victim about it,

00:58:56.600 right. Or you can be empowered. What we were talking about earlier. And I think most people

00:59:00.020 avoid it because when they start thinking about it, because they're used to being in a negative

00:59:06.360 space and the victims already, they start thinking, well, what's the use? Yeah. Yeah. Got it. All

00:59:12.620 right. Christopher McGregor, we might have maybe a one or two more questions. Is that all right with

00:59:16.880 you? Great. Okay. We're alive, man. All right. All right. This is a good one. A little lengthy here,

00:59:22.880 but we'll see if I can get through this. All right. Working long hours and

00:59:26.520 earning great money. We are a single income household and I'm happy with carrying the

00:59:31.240 financial boat and logs while my wife stays at home and raises our soon to be two-year-old

00:59:38.320 daughter. I understand that we both work full-time. However, only one of us gets paid with dollars

00:59:45.100 for the work that we do. I'm being met with an absent father conversations. Although I dedicated

00:59:52.340 my entire weekend and every evening with my daughter so I can be with her, but also create

00:59:57.320 a reprieve for my wife who is stuck at home. My question is, what's the best way for her to

01:00:04.040 understand my point of view? I have to always giggle when I hear phrases like, what's the best

01:00:10.160 way for her to understand my point of view or change her that I'm simply trying to provide for our family

01:00:15.740 because it's 2023 and no one else is going to pay our bills and put a roof over the family's head

01:00:20.940 and give them what we need. Thanks, guys. And Chris, I get it, right? Like, I don't want you to read

01:00:26.500 that wrong, right? Like, obviously, we have to be careful when we talk about, hey, guys, how do I

01:00:31.760 change someone? Because that's never going to work. But I think this is fair, right? And I think that

01:00:39.580 there is, let's be honest, there is less appreciation, I think, for men that are providing.

01:00:50.280 I actually do think that there's a social climate where men working hard and providing that's not

01:00:56.600 good enough. And that this dynamic of, you know, of an opinion that, I don't know, I think a lot of

01:01:06.680 men, let me say it this way. I think a lot of men feel unappreciated for the work that they are doing

01:01:12.940 and they're trying to do a great job and it's being met with unappreciation. I think I'm safe

01:01:20.120 in saying a lot of men feel that way. I would also agree with that, but then also include,

01:01:26.740 and this will go into what he said there, how do I get her to understand my point of view?

01:01:30.920 I think equally, maybe even more so, women that stay at home are feeling underappreciated and less

01:01:40.360 valued than ever before. And if you don't appreciate me, it makes it really hard for

01:01:45.420 me to appreciate you. Yeah. And I think housewives actually are under attack by most of media.

01:01:53.960 Well, and most society will say that, what? You're working at home, full-time mom,

01:01:58.280 taking care of kids. The most important thing in the world, geez, you're not living a life of

01:02:02.220 fulfillment. Yeah. Yeah. You need to get a job, which is like the complete opposite message.

01:02:07.440 That's what are you living in 1950? Yeah. Totally. Yeah. They get criticized for that,

01:02:12.620 right? Heavily, I think. Yeah. I agree. And so it's tough on both ends. And so because it's tough for

01:02:18.600 both, you're probably both feeling fairly equally unappreciated and unappreciated. And so I think the

01:02:26.900 important thing for you, instead of asking us what we can do so that she can understand your point of

01:02:33.360 view is that you ask her and it's better to have a proactive conversation, even though it may be

01:02:41.520 uncomfortable, but be like, Hey, look, because from the, when you started the question, my thought

01:02:46.520 would have been, was instantly, okay, is this guy doing date nights? Is he making the time to,

01:02:52.840 you know, have dinner with his daughter or whatever it is to have time with his daughter? And by the

01:02:58.820 way, your daughter's only two, it's going to get way worse as she gets older. And as you have more

01:03:03.820 kids, if you're planning on that or whatever it is, so it's only going to get harder. It's not going

01:03:08.040 to get easier as she gets older. So you're going to have to make those times. It sounds like you're

01:03:12.000 making the times. And if it's still not enough, the most important thing you need to do is have the

01:03:17.220 conversation with your wife and say, Hey, hon, you know, I, I, I just want you to know, from my

01:03:21.460 perspective, I'm there every night. I'm trying to let you have your like, quote unquote days off or,

01:03:28.740 you know, time with the girls or whatever's important to you. I'm there, you know, every

01:03:33.060 night with our little girl. And I felt like I was doing what I could to be a present father in the

01:03:41.220 home. And it doesn't feel like you feel the same. So what is that for you? Like what,

01:03:47.860 what do you feel I should be doing that I'm missing? Because I want to be a present father,

01:03:55.840 but that's what I, I want for our family and for our home and for you, you know, cause I appreciate

01:04:01.460 what you're doing, but from your perspective, what are the things that I'm missing?

01:04:06.460 So like that would fill that gap. Well, and if you don't mind me suggesting this, like

01:04:11.760 he, as part of this process, you have to get off of the right and wrong kind of judgment that you,

01:04:20.040 we see, right? Well, she feels this, but I'm doing this. So I'm right. She's wrong. She misunderstood.

01:04:26.020 No, or I'm already doing it. I'm already doing it. Right. Like stop, stop the, stop the

01:04:31.320 interpretation of right and wrong here. The reality of it is you're doing what you're doing.

01:04:36.460 And the reality of it is she doesn't feel like you're spending enough time with family period.

01:04:43.200 That's, that's the reality. So address the gap, honey. I feel like I'm, I'm making an, uh, an effort

01:04:52.140 here. I feel like I'm really doing this. You're obviously you're not feeling it. What does that

01:04:57.120 look like? Like, because here's the other rub, right? Is okay. Well, maybe it's not time, right?

01:05:03.740 Maybe it's what we're doing when we're at home. Maybe it's actually, maybe she doesn't give a

01:05:07.900 crap about getting release from her day with the kids. Maybe she wants to spend time with you.

01:05:13.600 And maybe she doesn't want you to spend that much time with the two-year-old. And it's really about

01:05:17.780 you and her time that she's really complaining about. That's right. Right. He's not doing date

01:05:22.700 nights, right? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, you know, so you guys just need to have the conversation

01:05:28.740 conversation and say, Hey, what does that look like? I mean, one of the more, more powerful

01:05:32.440 questions I ever had with my wife, and I use it as an example is, you know, one time I came home and

01:05:38.080 said, Hey, honey, you know, what does it look like to be really rich? Like, what is that? And she goes,

01:05:45.360 us being able to go to Europe whenever we want and not feel guilty about it. Oh, okay. Well, I do the

01:05:52.500 math and you're like, Oh shit. So what we're talking about is selectability of time. Right.

01:05:58.080 Was that a different definition than what you thought it was? Yeah. Like in my mind, I'm like,

01:06:01.880 Oh yeah, more money. Right. And this is like probably about five, six years ago, I was reading

01:06:05.820 this book on wealth and I was like, Oh my gosh, like we're, we're going after the dollar, not

01:06:10.520 around the experience. Right. And, and that was a breakthrough for me. I was like, Oh my gosh,

01:06:14.680 like how we saw that was drastically different. Or I'll give you another example, even from a work

01:06:19.980 perspective, right? I might go to employee and say, Hey, are you loving your job? Do you love it here?

01:06:24.920 And if they go, well, you know, I'm kind of sideways or I'm a little, you know, not all

01:06:29.800 in. Okay. Why? Well, because I don't feel appreciated. I don't meet that with, no, I

01:06:35.340 appreciate you all the time, blah, blah, blah. No, I shut up and I go, okay, you don't feel

01:06:39.580 appreciated. Got it. What does that look like? And for one person, it's, I don't get feedback

01:06:45.920 enough from you, Kip, around the work that I'm doing. Another employee might be, I wish you

01:06:51.560 would prioritize our one-on-one. So I, you can tell me what I'm doing good, what I'm

01:06:54.980 doing bad. I, we don't do enough social things. Like the answer is not right. It's

01:06:59.360 not wrong. It's just different for everybody. And so you need to get present of what does

01:07:03.460 that look like for your wife? And she might be crazy and she might go, I don't want you

01:07:09.160 to work eight hours and I want you only work four hours. Right. And then, and then you get

01:07:13.500 to go, okay, well, instead of making a wrong go, all right, well, but honey, if we only

01:07:18.180 work four hours based upon our current circumstances, I could only bring home this

01:07:22.940 much money. That's a problem. Or I have a job. Yeah. Or I might lose my job. Okay.

01:07:28.300 So that won't work. So let's, you know what I mean? And let's process and walk

01:07:33.360 through and identify what that looks like. And that's it. But at the root of it, you

01:07:38.280 got to stop making her wrong. Cause that's, it's, that's clear in the question. She's

01:07:43.840 wrong. You're right. Stop that because otherwise all, all the conversations you're

01:07:48.760 going to be having with her, you're going to be listening from the area of proving

01:07:52.040 yourself right. And by the way, you never help anybody have a breakthrough of their

01:07:56.880 understanding when it's from the space of you being right and them being wrong.

01:08:01.540 Yeah. So you got to get out of that mindset and just say that you guys are

01:08:05.940 looking at it differently and you're seeking understanding so you can get

01:08:09.560 alignment. Great call with the money part, because you could tell that the money

01:08:13.240 part's very important to him and the money probably, it may not be as

01:08:19.000 important. Right. But, and I'm not saying that you, you just throw that all

01:08:23.800 out either. Right. It's like, but you guys got to find some, some compromise

01:08:27.420 there. Right. And, and, and get some alignment. Yeah. Um, there's another

01:08:32.820 school. I like this one. Is that all right? So Bob Ross, when faced with demands

01:08:41.880 from work that take away from family, how do you balance or reframe to keep the

01:08:48.220 fire burning for work? Example, I'm a public school teacher and they require

01:08:54.220 early duty, 745 every other week. I don't understand. Oh, seven to 745 every

01:09:00.900 other week. This is outside contract hours, but there's nothing we can do about

01:09:05.540 it. I try to be positive, but this frustrates me because I lose time with my

01:09:09.540 family. I feel like they are stepping into my family time and makes me want to

01:09:13.500 get my time back by only working contract hours and not giving extra. How can I

01:09:19.220 reframe my thinking? Ah, I like this. Like work is expecting something almost to the

01:09:24.940 point that let's be frank, Bob feels unappreciated. Right. And he's checked in

01:09:31.420 what I call silently quitting. He's throwing up the middle finger to his employer and

01:09:37.260 going, you know what? Screw you guys. You guys aren't looking out for me. And now I

01:09:42.260 feel like doing the bare minimum from a work perspective because my employer is not

01:09:46.760 taking care of me. Yeah. Huge insights here for all of us that, that run

01:09:51.240 companies. This is what we seek to never do to employees. Silently quitting will

01:09:57.440 drive the most ineffective environment for your workplace than everything. You want

01:10:02.460 employees that are excited about their work, that they're bringing all their talents and

01:10:06.400 innovations to the table. Silent quitting will destroy you. Yeah. Yeah. I digress.

01:10:12.080 So this is from the hip. My first thought is if you're in any corporate or

01:10:19.400 bureaucratic environment, you're going to have to deal most of the time with stuff you

01:10:25.640 don't like. Because they don't give a crap. Yeah. Because they don't give a crap. And

01:10:29.020 there's a bureaucracy and there's red tape and there's all this stuff. But if that's where

01:10:34.580 you're going to choose. Now, by the way, we've been talking a lot about the difference between

01:10:38.420 victimhood and taking charge of your situation. If you're going to choose to be in that

01:10:42.640 environment, then use the resources you do have. It's a public school. There's probably

01:10:49.740 a union you're a part of. And so if you're feeling that way, you're probably not the only

01:10:54.780 teacher. You need to approach the union and tell them, hey, this is what's happening.

01:10:59.580 They're requiring this outside of contract. It's taking away from my family time. I'm already

01:11:06.380 putting in the extra hours. I love teaching and doing what I'm doing. But I think this

01:11:11.300 is unreasonable. Are other people having the same thought? And then at the next union meeting,

01:11:16.560 they can bring that up. They can find out if it's an actual issue through the district.

01:11:20.460 And you can attack it that way. And the more people you know that work on the school board or

01:11:29.700 in the district at a higher level, the hopefully better and more positive effect you can have in

01:11:35.880 that. Really, that's all you're going to be able to do. And then if that doesn't do anything,

01:11:40.600 then you have to do what you can inside of that bureaucracy. And instead of being a victim about it,

01:11:47.620 you have to figure out, okay, this is how it is now. Where can I gain back that family time?

01:11:53.680 What can I do? Do I get us all up earlier? Do I create other spaces to be with my family? How do

01:11:59.940 I go about it? And you just get better at planning and utilizing better the time that you do have.

01:12:09.480 I have two thoughts. One, I actually had this conversation with an employee literally last

01:12:14.360 week and I'll share that one second. The first, let's assume the public school system is doing

01:12:19.420 something that makes sense, which I know might be completely shocking for a lot of people listening,

01:12:25.500 but let's assume they are. Or you're in a similar scenario with Bob, employees requesting of something

01:12:33.440 or your employees requesting of something that doesn't make sense and you get checked out about it.

01:12:37.140 Your job is to get enough information so you can get behind it. So in this example, I'd say, Bob,

01:12:44.180 why? Why do they require the 7-7-45 every other week? What's the intent? What are they trying to

01:12:51.060 accomplish? What's the overall objective, right? And if you don't know what that answer is and you

01:12:56.180 can't get behind it, then you need to ask the questions to get behind it so you can show up powerfully

01:13:02.420 around that ask or understand it well enough that you could possibly put yourself into a position

01:13:09.340 to debate it and come up with a better idea. Otherwise, you're a pawn and you don't even know

01:13:16.700 why you're executing on what you're executing on. Show up powerfully. Powerfully means I know exactly

01:13:21.800 why they're trying to do this. I know what the intent is. Maybe I agree. Maybe I disagree. But you know

01:13:25.920 what? I'm willing to give it a good run. Or I so highly disagree with this and I understand it so

01:13:31.440 damn well that what they're asking for that I have a better idea that I'm going to bring to the table

01:13:36.200 and we're going to address this issue another way. Like get behind it. Don't be a victim of it.

01:13:42.580 Right? And then that way you can show up powerfully whether in the positiveness of this or in the

01:13:49.280 negative of pushing back or giving a better idea. The last thing that some advice that I got

01:13:55.400 and I was sharing with an employee last week was the more we can integrate our families into what

01:14:02.380 we're doing, the more that we're not robbing time from them. Let me give you an example. So if I'm

01:14:11.940 working super hard and I'm in the office and my kids don't even know what I do and dad just leaves

01:14:18.380 in the morning and he comes back at night and dad's never here with us and there's a complete separation

01:14:23.480 between the two. Imagine that experience or the other experience of, hey kids, guess what dad gets

01:14:29.780 to do today? I'm working on this thing. I got this big project coming. We're going to do this code over

01:14:33.760 this weekend. So I'm going to have to work. It's going to be super tough. You guys should come into

01:14:37.300 the office. Let's grab lunch. Why don't you have dinner? Why don't you rob the snack drawer here at

01:14:44.880 the office and we'll have a little picnic in one of the conference. Like your kids need to know what

01:14:50.120 you're doing because what you're doing is for them and why and why. And the more you can integrate

01:14:56.820 them, they will support you. They will understand it and they have a healthy relationship with work

01:15:04.520 and the balance and they see you doing it. Don't rob them of that learning experience to be part of

01:15:11.220 your work. Don't do it. It's going to benefit them. My kids are here in the office all the time.

01:15:19.740 They think it's just a snack place. They know where I sit. They know where all the treats are, right?

01:15:25.300 Like, but they're here and they know what dad's work is. They know what dad does and it's good for them.

01:15:32.980 It's good for them. Integrate them. Let them know what you're doing. That way, when you go to work,

01:15:37.780 it's not dad's choosing that over us. It is dad's doing that thing, right? Just like they are cleaning

01:15:44.900 the room. Just like dad has to do this work. We're all working together. We're a unit. We support each

01:15:50.540 other. Create that opportunity for them to support you. And I think that will create a much healthier

01:15:55.380 environment when you have this struggle of dynamic between work versus family.

01:16:00.560 I'm really glad you brought that up because that's how I coach the entrepreneurs that we coach.

01:16:05.120 Yeah. I tell them that because as an entrepreneur, you tend to take more ownership of what you're

01:16:10.200 doing. Yeah. And it's all up in your life. You all work. But, but when you incorporate your family

01:16:14.820 and let them know why and how and what you're doing and all that stuff, you get them on board.

01:16:18.600 Yeah. You know, and, and like, Hey, I'm doing this. This is going to provide this for our family.

01:16:22.240 And then if, if you guys accept that I'm not going to be around as much during this time,

01:16:26.960 you know, we'll make enough where we could go on a vacation to wherever. Right. And so you

01:16:32.140 incorporate them that way. That's what I do with entrepreneurs, but I think I'm glad you brought

01:16:35.860 it up in a corporate setting or, you know, in, in a setting that you feel like you have no control.

01:16:39.840 You do have control of how you communicate that, you know, with your family and, and just a side

01:16:45.340 note, if you are the entrepreneur with the employees, like you said, I saw your snack room.

01:16:50.020 Yeah. My first thought was, dude, this is another thing. Like I've heard a lot of good things. We were

01:16:55.440 talking about Jacob earlier, right. And how he said all these great things about your company. And

01:16:58.680 that's another one that I saw. That's a rare snack room that you guys have. How awesome it is.

01:17:05.820 No, it's great. That was one of my first thoughts. Like here's, I've heard all these great things

01:17:10.780 about this company already. Here's one more thing they're doing right. It's as dumb sounding as it

01:17:16.500 might sound to most places. You walk into that and you're like, wow, anything I could ever hope to

01:17:22.540 have as a snack or something just to, yeah, it's here at my disposal. You know, that's, that's powerful.

01:17:27.880 Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We got to wrap up. I got pickleball. You got family waiting

01:17:33.400 for you. So, um, a couple of call outs that we already mentioned them. Iron council is going to

01:17:38.100 be opening up in roughly about a week or so to learn more, go to order of man.com slash iron

01:17:42.680 council. If you haven't joined us on Facebook, go to facebook.com slash group slash order of man. Of

01:17:48.160 course you can get your order of man swag from the store, that store.orderofman.com. And then

01:17:54.000 connect with Mr. Mickler on Twitter and Instagram at Ryan Mickler. There was something else I was going

01:18:00.060 to say, and I can't remember what it was. You know what? How's this maybe a little teaser.

01:18:03.700 So I was talking with Ryan last week, we have powerful conversations each week in the iron

01:18:09.020 council. And, and maybe the, maybe I shouldn't be putting him on the spot here, but I thought,

01:18:13.380 you know, what would be really powerful is to get a glimpse out to you guys that aren't in the IC

01:18:19.900 of what it's like to be in the IC. And so we've been shooting around this idea of maybe doing an

01:18:26.080 opened iron council, uh, call where you don't have to be a member of the IC and you can join us on a

01:18:34.720 Friday call, or maybe we do another call around battle planning and just have an open mic session,

01:18:40.280 um, or have a formalized presentation where you guys can join us. So stay connected with Mickler,

01:18:45.760 um, because if that's going to happen, those announcements will come from him and, and we'd

01:18:50.040 love to possibly have you guys join us. So, and the next opening for the IC is going to be the last

01:18:55.200 one of the year. True. So that's true. Yeah. None of this, none of this last week of the year.

01:19:02.300 I'll all start in January. Yeah. You, you start now and let's be honest, right? Like that's the

01:19:07.320 thing about we get, everyone gets this wrong, right? Like I'm going to get in shape before I start

01:19:12.040 jujitsu or I want to lose some weight before I go to the gym. Like we hear this shit all the time.

01:19:17.380 You know, what's best is start today. Yeah. Just do it today. And then by January one, what do you

01:19:23.080 have? You have four reps, four months of solid reps underneath you flushing out things, getting

01:19:30.420 better. And now your launch pad for January one is even better than it would have been if you were

01:19:35.040 just sitting on the couch and between now and then. So, and of every men's organization that I know

01:19:41.860 of personally, um, or let's just call it self-improvement organization out there. This

01:19:48.480 is by far the most bang for your buck without it. In my opinion, I, and I've seen them all.

01:19:54.480 And I mean, what is it? 90, but what is it? 90. I don't even know. Less than a hundred bucks.

01:19:58.700 Less than a hundred bucks a month. And to have all the resources, all the calls, the battle teams,

01:20:04.180 the accountability, the conversation is so much more value than you're going to get from any other

01:20:10.680 place. And then compare that to the other dumb things you spend a hundred bucks a month on,

01:20:14.560 right? Like your Netflix or whatever, like how much does that help you in comparison?

01:20:19.920 Yeah. Right. So again, if you're on the fence, there's any excuse you can make, we can

01:20:24.260 debunk that for you. But like Kip said, just pull the trigger.

01:20:28.440 Yeah. Yeah. And you'll be happy you did.

01:20:30.440 Okay. All right. Until let's see what we got Friday field notes this Friday. So until then

01:20:37.060 take action and become the men we were meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man

01:20:41.960 podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:20:46.560 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - September 06, 2023

What is Love？, Maintaining Your Vision, and Memento Mori ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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