Order of Man - What Would the Man I Want to Be Do？

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly charge

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.200 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.440 I'm your host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here.

00:00:31.760 My job is to give you everything that you might need to become a better father, husband,

00:00:36.140 business owner, community leader, however you're showing up as a man. And I'm grateful for you

00:00:41.240 being here, but most importantly for you applying the information. When I started this thing nine

00:00:45.980 years ago, I saw a real deep need for not only information, but ways in which we could apply

00:00:53.200 the information to actually improve our lives and the lives of the people that we're called to lead.

00:00:58.080 So I am glad you're here. I've got a very short one for you today, but it's going to be very

00:01:01.960 impactful. It's a question. It's one simple question that I ask myself constantly. I ask myself this

00:01:08.820 multiple times throughout the day. And when I listen to the answer, it helps me lead myself,

00:01:16.000 lead my friends, lead my family, lead this community better than I did before. So I'm going to share

00:01:20.020 with that with you here just in a minute. Before I do want to let you know that we've got our event,

00:01:25.440 the Order of Man Uprising event. This is 20 men all coming into a property that I secured in Southern

00:01:32.640 Utah for three and a half days of brotherhood and camaraderie and accountability. We're going to be

00:01:39.320 doing some physical exercises. We're going to be going through our battle plans and helping you craft

00:01:44.620 a battle plan that's going to help you accomplish what you want to accomplish as we move into the next

00:01:49.540 quarter of 2024. And it's going to push you and challenge you in ways that I think will help

00:01:56.340 motivate you to take your, the right steps in your life for the next level. So if you're interested,

00:02:02.340 we've got seven spots remaining. I just looked this morning. It's May 2nd through May 5th, 2024.

00:02:07.820 And you can check out a quick video and the details at order of man.com slash uprising,

00:02:13.380 order of man.com slash uprising. All right, guys, now let me get into it again. This one's

00:02:18.200 going to be fairly quick for our Friday field notes, but it's, it's important. It really is.

00:02:23.600 And the question I'm going to lead off with you here, uh, right now is this, what would the man

00:02:29.940 I want to be do? What would the man I want to be do? Now we could ask ourselves this question

00:02:37.000 whenever we're confronted with a challenging perspective, scenario, idea, set of circumstances,

00:02:42.960 because all too often what ends up happening when we're caught up in the moment is we get emotional.

00:02:48.280 Uh, at times we get irrational. There's things that cloud our decision-making process.

00:02:54.260 And when we react to situations rather than responding to situations, it's usually hasty.

00:03:01.000 It's usually not very well thought out. It's emotionally driven as opposed to logically driven.

00:03:06.520 And if you're anything like me, it ends up producing some inferior results in our lives

00:03:13.280 that we have to go back and manage and clean up down the road. I don't want to do that personally.

00:03:18.020 I want to be efficient. I want to make the right decisions in the right moment

00:03:21.440 so that I can move forward to clarity of purpose and accomplish what I want to do in maximum efficiency

00:03:26.260 and productivity. So I have to remind myself to take a step back, especially,

00:03:31.160 especially when I'm emotionally compromised and consider what would the man I want to be

00:03:36.960 do in this situation. This is one of the most incredible things that we as humans have the

00:03:42.680 ability to do. It's an exercise in consciousness. It allows us to project ourselves to a future

00:03:48.820 date and time to a place that doesn't even exist yet. The man I want to be and allows us to reverse

00:03:55.860 engineer the process and make decisions, not based on our own emotion, based on our own intuition,

00:04:02.840 but based on the projection of a better version of ourselves. What would the man I want to be do

00:04:11.600 in this scenario? So if you're considering starting a business or leaving a business, if you're

00:04:17.160 considering how you're going to discipline one of your children when they make a mistake,

00:04:20.460 if you're considering how you're going to approach your wife or significant other when you have a

00:04:24.980 disagreement or an argument or a frustration, then this is going to help you answer that question

00:04:30.920 and move forward with confidence, knowing you're making the right decision. Let's break down this

00:04:36.480 a little bit more and talk with you about how you begin to identify and recognize the man that you

00:04:41.800 want to be. Number one is I wrote here, you have to identify who that man is. So how does this man

00:04:47.140 show up? And we want to do this before we're confronted with difficult or challenging circumstances

00:04:52.100 because we don't want to be compromised when we do this exercise. So what I would suggest to you

00:04:56.540 is to grab a notepad out and start writing down the values that you espouse, the things that are

00:05:03.240 important to you, the virtues that are the most meaningful to you and write that down. This is a

00:05:09.400 vision exercise. And we talk a lot about this in our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council,

00:05:13.580 but guys, this is a vision exercise. Do you value hard work? Do you value honesty? Do you value

00:05:20.120 discipline? Do you value commitment and loyalty and dedication and mastery towards a craft?

00:05:27.140 And, and look, it's easy to say you value those things, but really do it a self-analysis and maybe

00:05:33.100 even include close people in your circle, your wife, your children, friends, relatives who might give

00:05:38.720 you an accurate reflection as to whether or not you actually believe the value that you say you do.

00:05:43.720 And you can decide or know that through your own actions, do your actions speak to that. So for

00:05:51.740 example, if you say I value discipline and you get on the scale and you're 50 pounds overweight,

00:05:57.180 then you don't value discipline. You'd say you value discipline, but you don't actually value it

00:06:03.100 when the rubber meets the road. If you look, if you pull up your bank account and you're $40,000

00:06:08.700 in consumer debt, then you don't value financially, financial discipline. You say you do, you say

00:06:15.040 that's important, but your actions are telling you something different. And look, I've been here.

00:06:19.620 There's an integrity gap at times in our lives where we know what we should be doing and we're not doing

00:06:24.100 that, but there's a difference between valuing something. Um, and then just saying it, just paying

00:06:30.360 lip service. So do you actually value it? Are you disciplined? Are you low body fat percentage?

00:06:36.700 Are you getting out of debt? And we don't have everything perfect, but are you on the path?

00:06:41.240 And if you're not, then there's some work, there's some room for improvement, but ideally you need to

00:06:46.640 identify what kind of man this actually is. And then another exercise that I like to incorporate,

00:06:52.020 and this is point number two, is that you can begin to ask yourself about other men that you

00:06:56.080 admire and respect. If it's guys like Jocko Willink, what is it about Jocko Willink that you really

00:07:01.900 admire? Is it his discipline? Is it his no nonsense attitude towards life? Is it the, the ability to

00:07:09.580 serve this country? Is it how he communicates and articulates his thoughts? If it's Jordan Peterson,

00:07:14.380 is it that he's an intellect? Is that he's thoughtful about what he's saying? Is that he's

00:07:18.920 bold and willing to say what he needs to say and willing to sacrifice for the message he believes in?

00:07:24.220 What is it that you admire about these men that you follow? And can you find common themes and

00:07:29.540 threads between each of these men? If all of the guys that you admire and respect and look up to,

00:07:34.920 whether they're social media influencers like Jocko and Jordan Peterson, or somebody, you know,

00:07:40.060 more closely in line with your, your life, your father, or your jujitsu coach, or your boss,

00:07:48.040 or that one colleague, or a friend, what is it that all of them possess? And what is the commonality

00:07:53.460 between all of them? If you can find three, four, five things, then you know, that is something that

00:07:57.980 you truly value. And then you can begin to work into your own life. How am I showing up in the

00:08:02.680 same way? Am I as disciplined as Jocko is? Oftentimes we'll hear things that on social

00:08:08.340 media say, well, comparison is the thief of joy. And I believe that it can be, but I also believe

00:08:14.040 that you can look at what other individuals are doing to be inspired by what they're doing. And it's

00:08:19.300 not robbing you of your joy. It's showing you what is possible if you move your actions in alignment

00:08:25.880 with theirs, not for their reasons, not for their motives, but because you have personally identified

00:08:31.440 that this is somebody worth emulating. And these characteristics and traits are worth adopting and

00:08:37.340 incorporating into your life. So identifying the man is crucial. And then looking at other men around

00:08:43.720 you and extrapolating what virtues, characteristics, beliefs, and actions do they incorporate in their

00:08:51.520 life that you can now incorporate into yours? It's not enough to say, Oh man, I really liked that guy.

00:08:56.940 Why? What about that guy do you like? And how would you like to be like him? And guys, the last thing

00:09:03.000 that I'm going to share with you here today, again, this is a very short one, but it's impactful if you

00:09:07.100 incorporate this into your life. And the third point that I want to make to you is that at some point

00:09:11.460 you have to detach yourself from the result because being the type of man that you want to be

00:09:18.260 is not going to immediately produce the results that you desire. Sometimes our immediate gratification

00:09:25.600 or our immediate benefit is at odds with the type of man that we want to become. So for example,

00:09:32.220 if you're in an argument with your wife, or let's even say your ex-wife, you can decide to get at her.

00:09:37.560 You can decide to make snarky comments or do something that would compromise her in some way

00:09:45.400 because you're trying to get back at her. And that actually might feel good in the moment.

00:09:51.300 But is it in alignment with the kind of man that you want to be? Probably not, if we're being honest.

00:09:58.920 And sometimes people are either going to take longer to respond to our changes, or potentially

00:10:05.560 they're not going to respond or change at all. And we have to be okay with that because we're not

00:10:12.200 making decisions based upon other people's responses. What a horrible way to live. You're

00:10:18.560 only going to make decisions based on if somebody says yes or no, or likes what he has to say, or

00:10:23.220 doesn't like what you have to say. That is a horrible, horrible way to live. You have to live based on

00:10:28.800 what you believe is right, and then allow the chips to fall where they may. So even though you may not

00:10:34.940 have any personal reward immediately, you have to have some level of faith that's showing up in this way

00:10:41.920 will produce a long-term benefit to you. For example, at work, you might be tempted to throw

00:10:49.100 another colleague or coworker under the bus so that you get the praise, the notoriety, the raise,

00:10:54.240 or the promotion. That's going to be pretty enticing, to be honest, when we're talking about another

00:11:00.520 $10,000 a year in income or a promotion that's going to help you lead the organization.

00:11:04.680 I don't believe that the ends justify the means. I don't. I believe that we are to behave in a

00:11:16.620 righteous manner, and I've identified what I believe that is for me because I've went through

00:11:21.080 this exercise multiple times for myself, and then I have faith that over time, things are going to work

00:11:28.160 out. I will get the promotions. I will start the businesses. I will pick up the clients. I will develop

00:11:33.340 and build the relationships. I will have that thriving, healthy relationship with a woman.

00:11:38.840 These are the things I know will happen if I do the right things, but I cannot attach my effort

00:11:45.900 to the immediate result because, as I said earlier, sometimes those things are at odds with each other.

00:11:52.140 Not always. Sometimes doing the right thing will manifest immediate results, but other times it'll

00:11:57.360 take significantly longer to produce the result that you desire by doing the right thing. In fact,

00:12:03.240 many times doing the right thing takes longer to produce the result than doing the wrong thing.

00:12:09.220 So detach yourself from the result. Have faith that the effort is going to inevitably lead you

00:12:16.180 to where you want to be. Guys, that question has been instrumental in changing my life, especially when

00:12:22.640 I'm tempted to make bad decisions. And we all know when we're tempted to make those bad decisions,

00:12:27.540 we rationalize, we justify, we excuse, we procrastinate. These are all indicators that

00:12:35.420 you're about to do something that you know is not the right thing to do. And in that case,

00:12:40.420 you ought to swamp out that thought with the thought, what would the man I want to be do

00:12:47.480 in this scenario? Number one, identify what kind of man that is. Number two, look for other men who

00:12:54.000 are emulating those characteristics and try to find out what they're doing that you can incorporate

00:12:59.620 into your life. And number three, detach yourself from the immediate result. So you give yourself the

00:13:05.460 opportunity to see long-term growth and progress through your better behavior and actions. Guys,

00:13:11.420 I hope this serves you. Again, this was a little shorter than it normally is, but I don't need to

00:13:15.000 drone on and on about something that's so simple, a little harder to implement, but it is very simple.

00:13:19.640 And I hope this serves you. If it does, please let me know. Give me a shout out on Instagram or

00:13:24.160 Twitter or Facebook. Hit me in an email, ryan at order of man.com. But ultimately let me know what

00:13:30.100 you think. Let other people know that you're listening to this. Consider joining us in one of

00:13:34.680 those last of seven spots at the uprising order of man.com slash uprising. And let's continue to get

00:13:40.760 after it guys. I'll be back next week until then go out there, take action and become the man

00:13:46.260 you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:13:52.640 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:13:57.280 at order of man.com.

Order of Man - February 02, 2024

What Would the Man I Want to Be Do？｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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