Order of Man - Where Humility Goes Wrong

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.960 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.100 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.640 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler.

00:00:27.480 I'm your host and the founder of the Order of Man podcasting movement, and I want to welcome you

00:00:31.980 here. If you're a man on the path who wants to be on the path, who wants to improve himself

00:00:36.220 as a husband, father, business owner, community leader, and a man in general, you're in the right

00:00:41.320 place. We're doing interviews each and every week. We've done over a thousand podcasts now over the

00:00:46.720 past eight years, and we've helped tens of thousands of men get on the path to improving

00:00:51.460 their relationships, their finances, their business, their body, and every other facet of life. So you're

00:00:57.160 in the right place if that's what you're looking for. I want to jump right into things today. I'm

00:01:02.540 often met with people who have a hard time with sharing their talents with the world. Very often men

00:01:10.700 are told or been led to believe that if they brag or they bring up anything that they're good at,

00:01:17.180 then they're being arrogant, they're being egotistical, they're being selfish, they're not

00:01:21.600 being humble. And that creates a problem. And it creates a problem because if you're so concerned

00:01:28.060 with being quote unquote humble, and we're going to talk about that in a minute, that you can't share

00:01:32.700 your gifts and your talents and your abilities with the world, then you're hiding and you're

00:01:37.160 reserving and you're keeping something from somebody else who might actually value and benefit from what

00:01:43.060 you have to offer. But we're so worried about being called or labeled as arrogant, prideful,

00:01:48.520 egotistical, that oftentimes we won't share of ourselves. Guys, that's not humility. Humility

00:01:55.120 doesn't mean cower. Humility doesn't mean to shrink in the corner and not express yourself or share

00:02:00.580 yourself with the world. Humility doesn't mean that you can't recognize your gifts and your talents and

00:02:06.620 your skills and the things that you excel at. You certainly should do those things. And the purpose

00:02:13.460 behind humility is knowing that you may not have everything figured out, that it's not all about

00:02:19.860 you, and that there is room for growth, even if you are good at things. Guys, do not mistake

00:02:26.320 humility with some sort of, I can't even describe what it is. Maybe it's self-righteousness.

00:02:33.560 Some people think, well, I'm humble. I don't talk about that because of how good I am. And humility

00:02:39.900 in that case almost becomes a sense of virtue signaling. That's not humility, virtue signaling,

00:02:45.960 talking about yourself or hoping others will think you're better than you really are or somehow you're

00:02:51.200 virtuous just because you don't talk about how good you are. I want you to imagine, whether we're

00:02:55.660 looking at it through a spiritual lens or not, I want you to imagine what you do with the gifts that

00:03:02.260 you're given, that you value, that you honor, that you respect, whether it's skills that you have or

00:03:09.060 even personal property, maybe it's a vehicle, maybe your wife got you something great for your birthday.

00:03:14.160 What do you do with that? You utilize it. You invest in it. You proudly show it off. You use it for the

00:03:21.720 betterment and the benefit of yourself and other people. And that's what we should be doing with the

00:03:25.800 gifts and talents that we have. So if you have the ability to communicate complex ideas and concepts

00:03:31.240 and break them down into clear articulated communication styles so people can benefit from

00:03:37.620 it, then you should certainly acknowledge that you're good at that. If you have the ability to

00:03:42.580 work with your hands and build beautiful furniture, then you should show that off.

00:03:48.520 You should create an Instagram account, create a Facebook account, start a business and tell people

00:03:53.720 this is what you're good at. Again, it's not for your own benefit exclusively. It's so that you can

00:03:58.700 take that gift and talent and share it with the world. That has nothing to do with humility at all.

00:04:05.040 But oftentimes what happens is you have people who are upset with their own lives that they're so

00:04:10.780 eager to tear down other people who are excelling in certain areas of theirs. And they'll say,

00:04:16.200 you're not being humble. No, guys, that's not the case at all. When you're good at something,

00:04:21.340 it's okay to proclaim it. It's okay to share it. And it's valuable to the people around you.

00:04:26.480 And isn't that what we want as men? Don't we want to be valuable? Don't we want to add

00:04:31.160 and enhance in people's lives? We do that by using what we have, becoming very, very proficient at

00:04:38.020 certain things, and then giving that gift to the world or our family or our employees or whoever it

00:04:43.760 is that we're trying to serve. So what I want to do today is help you wrap your head around this idea

00:04:48.900 of humility versus being able to share where your strengths are so that you can serve other people.

00:04:55.560 Now, number one, the first thing that we need to do is to begin to ask other people what they see

00:05:03.000 in you that they value or they acknowledge as you being good at doing. People will tell you,

00:05:11.300 and you may not even need to ask them directly. If you just listen for subtle clues and cues,

00:05:15.940 you'll be able to hear it. A couple of things that might help you get an idea of what you're good at

00:05:20.860 and what people acknowledge in seeing you is what are people asking you advice for? Are they asking

00:05:26.360 you for advice on marriage? Are they asking you for advice on fitness? Are they asking you for advice

00:05:31.520 on, you know, they have a sales presentation and how am I going to go out and communicate this to

00:05:36.900 the world? And they're asking for advice, or maybe they need a project done around the house and they're

00:05:41.260 asking you how to do that project. That's a pretty good indicator that you're good at something and other

00:05:48.360 people are acknowledging that. Another thing you might consider is what are you doing when time

00:05:53.440 moves the fastest? What are you doing when time moves the fastest? Because if you are good at

00:05:59.040 something, typically you're going to enjoy it. And if you enjoy it, you're not caught up in what time

00:06:03.640 it is and like how much longer before this is over. You're fully immersed in the thing. So when time

00:06:10.400 is going the fastest, that's a good indicator that you're stepping into your zone of genius, the thing

00:06:15.660 that you're really good at, that might be a consideration. If you didn't have a money issue

00:06:21.360 or concern in the world, all your bills were paid and everything was taken care of, what is it that

00:06:25.740 you would be doing? That's a great question to consider and ponder because that's going to move

00:06:31.160 you towards interests, hobbies, activities that you enjoy, that you like, and that you might be

00:06:37.080 proficient in. Another prompt is what do I like to share with the world? What ideas, what advice,

00:06:43.640 is it how to shoot? Is it how to train? Is it how to lift? Is it how to do jujitsu? Is it how to paint?

00:06:48.840 Is it how to do photography? Is it something politically affiliated? If you have an inclination

00:06:54.240 to share something with the world and you notice a trend, that might be something that you're really

00:06:58.860 good at and something that you're highly interested in. And you shouldn't shy away from that. Again,

00:07:04.260 if we're going the spiritual route, especially with regards to Christianity, we'd all know the

00:07:07.600 parable of the talents. Your goal is to take the talents that you've been given and then share them

00:07:12.780 with the world. You're not going to hide them. You're not going to bury them. You're not going

00:07:16.940 to let other people tell you that if you share the things that you're good at, that somehow you're

00:07:20.260 not humble or you're being selfish. That's completely false. And it goes against the doctrine

00:07:26.540 that's taught in the Bible. In the Bible, it says that you are to go out and share your talents.

00:07:32.360 And part of the parable is that the person who doesn't share his talents gets his talents taken

00:07:37.300 away. And those talents are then given to the person who does. We need to go out and be vocal

00:07:42.300 and share because we're commanded to do that if we're talking about it through the Christian

00:07:46.140 lens, but also if we're not, because it's good. It's good for you. It's good for other

00:07:51.540 people and it enhances everybody's lives. So consider those prompts and don't be afraid

00:07:56.120 to explore what you excel at and be willing to talk about it. Of course, there's a line and

00:08:03.060 we can address that. If all you're doing is talking about how great you are at the expense

00:08:07.420 of other people or not giving them an opportunity or talking about how great you are,

00:08:11.420 but never putting it into practice and adding value to people's lives, certainly an issue.

00:08:16.800 All right. Number two is you need to now invest in your strengths. Now, often the common advice

00:08:21.900 is you're going to invest and shore up your weaknesses. And you certainly should. If you

00:08:27.360 have areas that need improvement, you should certainly consider that. If nutrition is an issue

00:08:31.960 for you or discipline is an issue for you, or you're 50 pounds overweight, or you don't have

00:08:37.260 the skill set to get the promotion, you should certainly work on shoring up those areas, but

00:08:43.560 not at the expense of doubling down on your strengths. The best investment that you can make

00:08:48.560 is to invest in the thing that you're already good at. You're going to see exponential returns

00:08:54.320 if you're focusing on what you're good at. A great book on this, a little bit on this subject

00:08:58.840 is E-Myth. And in that book, they talk about being a good practitioner at a business and then

00:09:06.560 going and starting a business as an entrepreneur and thinking that just because you're good at the

00:09:11.040 practice, you're going to be good at the other elements. Or one thing you often hear is guys who

00:09:15.740 are great in sales, for example, and their boss comes to them and says, Hey, I want to have you train,

00:09:20.700 or I want you to have you manage all these other people. So we're going to pull you out of the

00:09:24.840 thing that you're good at and put you into something you may not be good at. And then

00:09:29.140 the likelihood of that happening or that working is very small. Instead, if I'm a manager and I see

00:09:35.300 a great sales guy, I'm going to talk to him about how we can make him be even more successful.

00:09:41.480 How can we increase your sales? How can we get you more sales? How can we get you access to more

00:09:47.100 people? How can we leverage your abilities and take other things off your plate? Maybe there's

00:09:52.260 administrative stuff I don't want you doing. All I want you to do is sell. I'll bring somebody else

00:09:57.600 into for your assistant, for example, who can help you close and do all the paperwork and red tape

00:10:03.140 and all that other stuff. But I want to clear the path for you. If I'm your manager and I see you

00:10:07.440 excel at sales, I don't want to pull you away from that. I want you to invest. I want you to double

00:10:12.380 down on that. And I want to clear the path by bringing in other assets and resources so that you can

00:10:16.780 focus, again, on your zone of genius. You should be doing that for yourself. For example, with this

00:10:22.900 movement, I really enjoy talking. I really enjoy doing this podcast. I really enjoy doing interviews.

00:10:28.320 I really enjoy putting together programs and courses that serve the men that we work with.

00:10:33.300 I don't enjoy podcast editing, but I've got Chad who does that. I can do a little bit of design,

00:10:38.540 but I don't really enjoy it all that much. And it doesn't really look all that great. So I have

00:10:42.240 Todd that does that. I don't know the backend website stuff and how to manage all of that. So I

00:10:46.940 have Drew Kachurik who does that. When we run events, I don't really know how to make sure it's

00:10:52.860 flowing correctly and the logistics. I can come and speak. I have an idea of what we want to put

00:10:57.920 together, but I've got Chris Gatchko who does all of that other stuff. That's what they're good at.

00:11:02.840 And then I focus on what I'm good at. And I invest. I spend money. I spend energy. I spend time

00:11:09.480 and attention and other resources in investing in this podcast. For example, I've spent thousands

00:11:15.660 and thousands of dollars on cameras, on lights. And I've, I've, I listened to other podcasts,

00:11:21.480 not necessarily for the content, but with a critical ear of how they're doing. What do they do? Well,

00:11:26.380 what don't they do? Well, what might I implement into my own podcast? If I want to grow YouTube,

00:11:32.240 then I'm going to bring somebody else in because I don't know that, but I'm going to focus on what I'm

00:11:36.340 good at. And I'm going to invest in myself. And I'm also going to invest in bringing other people

00:11:41.060 on so that I can focus solely on what I want to focus and serve people the way that I want to serve

00:11:47.160 them. So number three on this is never be ashamed to share your talents, your gifts, and your abilities

00:11:52.960 with the world. And there's never been an easier time to do that than the present. We have such a

00:11:58.540 tremendous opportunity through podcasting and YouTube and Rumble and social media sites to be able to

00:12:05.500 take a message, take something we're good at and put it out into the world for the betterment of

00:12:10.140 other people. I often hear from men who want to start businesses or have an idea or a project they

00:12:15.020 want to develop. And they ask, what should I do first? You should share it. You should always share

00:12:20.080 it. Even before you have a product, even before you have a service, even before you have a cleverly

00:12:24.720 packaged product to offer to the world, start talking about it. Open your mouth, share what you're good

00:12:31.460 at, share what you know, add value to people's lives. And don't buy into this idea that just

00:12:36.840 because you're sharing something like that, that you're not being humble. Again, humility is about

00:12:41.960 the energy. It's not necessarily about what you're doing. It's about the energy. So if I'm bragging

00:12:47.180 about what I do because I want the praise and the accolades and the attention and the notoriety and

00:12:51.440 validation of it, that might be a humility slash ego problem. But if I'm sharing because I truly believe I

00:12:58.340 have something to add to your life, and if you implement what we're talking about, it will serve

00:13:03.240 you in a better way, that has nothing to do with me not being humble. If anything, that means I'm

00:13:08.560 gracious and I'm grateful for the gifts I've been given so much so that I'm willing to go out there,

00:13:14.560 invest in them, and share those things with the world. Guys, I know this was kind of a quick one

00:13:19.420 today, but this came up and it often comes up when I hear people say, oh, you know, you're just being

00:13:24.160 selfish or you're so arrogant or any number of things that I hear. And I can't help but think

00:13:28.880 this is a person who has a false idea of what humility is and or they're not successful in

00:13:35.020 their own life. And rather than going to work on their strengths, they want to tear me and other

00:13:38.800 people down because we're working on ours. Man, we don't shy away from that. We don't shy away from

00:13:43.920 our talents and our gifts and abilities. We don't shy away from sharing those things with the world.

00:13:48.500 That's what you're supposed to do. That's why you have those gifts. That's why we have the resources

00:13:53.000 to be able to invest and magnify the talents that we have. So make sure you go out there and do it.

00:13:58.580 On that note, I also want to mention, I'm very excited because today we're opening up the Iron

00:14:02.860 Council. Now, many of you have heard about the Iron Council. This is our band of brothers. We have over

00:14:09.140 a thousand guys in there, all working together, all sharing our own individual gifts, talents,

00:14:14.740 abilities, thoughts, ideas, experiences, lessons, resources with each other and banding together to help

00:14:22.240 each other accomplish more. So to that end, one of the things that we have available in the Iron

00:14:26.080 Council is channels. And these channels are based on certain topics. So for example, a fatherhood

00:14:31.840 channel, entrepreneurship, finance, fitness, faith channel, firearms channel, you name it, we've got a

00:14:40.260 channel. And if we don't, we take suggestions all the time and we consider whether or not that's going

00:14:44.020 to be a specific channel. But you're going to find hundreds of men in each of those channels

00:14:47.960 talking about those specific things. So if you want to learn how to train martial arts,

00:14:52.360 or you want to learn something about martial arts, then you can go where these guys are

00:14:56.640 specifically talking about that and adding value to the world. If you want to talk about building your

00:15:01.380 business, which many of you do, then you're going to join the entrepreneurship channel and the finance

00:15:05.620 channel. And you're going to talk with ultra successful entrepreneurs, business owners, guys who have

00:15:11.120 been in business and making millions and millions of dollars. And you're going to have access to that as

00:15:15.280 mentors inside of the Iron Council. So I would encourage you to take advantage of that because

00:15:20.700 I think it ties in nicely to what we're saying now, which is share your talents, share what you

00:15:25.680 offer to the world, invest in your strengths, invest in other people. And ultimately guys, our job is to

00:15:31.840 go out there and serve. You know that you wouldn't be here if that weren't the case. So make sure you

00:15:36.040 check out the Iron Council at order of man.com slash Iron Council. Also subscribe to the podcast. If you

00:15:41.240 haven't done so already, check it out on YouTube. We're growing heavily right now over on YouTube,

00:15:44.900 which is good. You can watch the video if you feel so inclined. I don't know why you'd want to

00:15:49.020 see my face, but maybe it's my guests. You can go check that out over at youtube.com slash order of

00:15:54.860 man. And those are your marching orders. So guys, we will be back next week for another interview,

00:16:01.320 but until then go out there, take action, invest in your strengths, share them with the world and

00:16:07.280 forget about this false definition of humility. But ultimately let's go out there, take action and

00:16:13.460 become the man we are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're

00:16:18.480 ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join

00:16:23.140 the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - September 15, 2023

Where Humility Goes Wrong ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Summary

Transcript