Order of Man - May 12, 2023


Why Are Men So Lonely？ ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats


Length

25 minutes

Words per minute

201.64764

Word count

5,181

Sentence count

429

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the growing problem of male loneliness and how to deal with it. I talk about 3 things that contribute to this problem, and 5 strategies that can help you overcome it. 1. The myth of the lone wolf 2. 5 strategies to overcome loneliness 3. Why it s important to have other men in your corner 4. Why you need to be around other men 5. How to overcome male loneliness

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
00:00:04.940 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:10.300 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.000 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.500 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Brian Michler.
00:00:27.220 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Hopefully,
00:00:31.100 if you're tuning in on YouTube, you see a little difference in the video quality today.
00:00:35.980 We're changing some things around. We're trying to improve. I've moved and the studio is no longer,
00:00:41.960 so I'm rebuilding a studio. So you're going to see a lot of improvements over the coming weeks
00:00:46.120 and months. And this is one small step to make sure we get our content and our information
00:00:50.500 and our message out there in a more credible, relevant, interesting, positive way.
00:00:56.780 So hopefully that's the case. We'll continue to improve. Guys, if you're new to the podcast and
00:01:01.900 what we're doing here, we've been going for eight years strong. This is a podcast dedicated to helping
00:01:06.260 you become a better man, a better husband, father, business owner, community leader, just man in
00:01:11.480 general. And all of us have had our struggles. I've had my fair share of struggles specifically over the
00:01:16.180 past six to eight months, but we're all on the path. We're all on the journey. And it's my goal to
00:01:20.620 give you information via this podcast with interviews from incredible, incredible men
00:01:25.400 like David Goggins, Dan Crenshaw, Jocko Willing, Terry Cruz, Tim Kennedy, Tim Tebow, and the list goes
00:01:32.020 on and on so that you can improve in your life the way that you see fit and relevant. I've got a really
00:01:38.240 important one for you today. And we're going to talk about male loneliness because this is becoming
00:01:44.260 an epidemic. This is a real problem. On an anecdotal level, I talk with men every single day
00:01:51.520 who are lonely, they're isolated, they're depressed, some are even suicidal, and they're
00:01:59.740 just kind of down in the dumps. And on a more rigorous or at least researched level, the studies
00:02:09.220 and the data suggest that men who are isolated and who are lonely are committing suicide, have higher
00:02:16.220 higher levels of depression, anxiety, and overall performance at work and at home and a level of
00:02:25.160 satisfaction and fulfillment in their lives. So I don't need to sell you on why it's important that
00:02:31.800 we'd be around other men. I don't think I need to do that. There might be some of you who may feel
00:02:37.640 like you can do it alone. We're going to talk about that. But ultimately, at the end of the day,
00:02:42.020 you need other men in your corner. You really do. You may not need it when things are going well,
00:02:47.680 but when things are going poorly and things are going hard and challenging for you, you've got to
00:02:52.900 have guys in your corner. And that means building it out now, even if things are going well in your
00:02:57.560 life. So today I thought I'd talk with you about three things that contribute to the isolation that
00:03:03.960 men have, because if we can figure out what contributes to it, then maybe we can do something
00:03:08.120 about it. And then number two, we can talk about five strategies that will help you overcome the
00:03:14.520 isolation, the loneliness, the, that you may be experiencing. So let's get right into it. Number
00:03:20.080 one is this myth of the lone wolf. Like somewhere along the way, men started to buy into the idea that
00:03:26.680 it's better or more alpha or more omega. It's like these Greek words that people use that men use to
00:03:35.120 describe themselves. Like, I don't buy into that necessarily, but you hear that all the time.
00:03:39.340 Like, I don't, I don't need that. I don't need any of that. I'm an alpha. I don't know why we've
00:03:45.920 bought into this other than Hollywood has told you that the Marlboro men, Jason Bourne, James Bond,
00:03:52.480 all of these guys that we look at as these quintessential icons of masculinity, they didn't work
00:04:00.080 well with others. They didn't need the help of other people. They always did it on their own.
00:04:05.520 And they always got the women, they got the money and they got the success. And I think that's a big
00:04:10.600 part of the problem is that we look on the silver screen and we look at TV and we see the guys who
00:04:16.000 are like, man, I want to be like that guy. I want to bed that many women like James Bond does, 1.00
00:04:19.680 or I want to have that skillset like Jason Bourne does. We're going to be that cool. Like the Marlboro
00:04:23.920 man was. And we think, well, in order to do that, I've got to be alone. I've got to handle this
00:04:29.640 on my own. I've got to man up, so to speak. And I don't take issue necessarily with that term,
00:04:34.940 unless the underlying root of it is that you need to go at it alone, that you need to struggle,
00:04:40.820 that you need to suffer, that you need to be miserable, that you need to be anxious,
00:04:43.380 that you need to be depressed, that you need to be suicidal. You don't need to be those things.
00:04:48.060 You need to be edified. You need to be uplifted. You need to be fulfilled. You need to be spoken
00:04:52.100 into. You need to be called up. And for that to happen, you need to have other noble, righteous,
00:04:57.720 honorable, capable men, successful men in their own rights in your corner, advocating for you.
00:05:03.320 That doesn't mean rubbing your balls, making you feel good about every decision that you make.
00:05:06.760 And it also doesn't mean that they're going to beat you down to a pulp because you happen to make
00:05:10.060 a mistake. No, these advocates are going to step up when they need to, when you need it. And these
00:05:16.760 advocates are also going to put their arm around you and say, Hey bro, it's okay. I got you.
00:05:21.020 When you need it. That's what we need. You can't do it alone, guys. You don't need to do it alone.
00:05:28.060 You're not supposed to do it alone. I don't know why we think this is less manly. For thousands and
00:05:32.600 thousands of years, men have been operating in tribes and packs and bands and brotherhoods and
00:05:36.660 gangs. And it's worked. It makes us stronger. It makes us better. I'm coaching two of my son's
00:05:42.440 baseball teams right now. They're better as a team. They work together. They don't want to let each
00:05:47.120 other down. They call each other. They even give each other a hard time or tease each other or even
00:05:51.920 give each other demeaning nicknames. Now I know much of society and even women be like, Oh, I can't 1.00
00:05:56.320 believe they're doing that. That's because they don't understand the way of men. Just because I
00:06:00.680 give you a nickname that is somewhat demeaning doesn't mean I don't like you. It actually means
00:06:04.240 I do like you. And that leads me into point. Number two is that we live in a world that has been
00:06:08.560 overly feminized. That if a man confronts another man, a woman looks at it and is like, Oh, we don't want 0.99
00:06:15.300 that. We can't have that happen. Or society in general thinks that we're just pushing guys around
00:06:20.760 and we're diminishing and dismissing each other. No, we're building camaraderie. We're calling each
00:06:24.420 other up. We're poking at each other's vulnerabilities so that we can improve and get
00:06:28.240 better. Even that word vulnerability has been bastardized. Be vulnerable, be vulnerable, be
00:06:33.320 vulnerable. I don't want to be vulnerable. Okay. Vulnerability represents weakness. It's something
00:06:38.780 that can be exploited. It's something that can be taken advantage of. I want to be honest.
00:06:43.140 I want to be open in my communication about what's really going on in my life, but I don't
00:06:47.300 want to be seen as weak. And so women and even men who have bought into the ideas of women's 0.97
00:06:54.840 connection, which is different than the way men communicate and connect, by the way,
00:06:59.680 we'll take that word vulnerability. Just be vulnerable. Just be vulnerable. Why,
00:07:02.620 why should I just like spew all of my baggage onto you? Some will say that's not what vulnerability
00:07:08.280 is. No, that's exactly what vulnerability is. Humility, honesty, on the other hand,
00:07:14.760 is finding somebody that you can confide in, trust, somebody that you can work closely with,
00:07:21.640 somebody who shares their struggles with you, their pain and their toil and their struggles,
00:07:25.940 somebody you can do the same with, somebody who's successful and will call BS when you need it to be
00:07:30.120 called. We're not going to feminize this. If we do, it's not going to work. And so if we're, 0.88
00:07:34.940 look, ladies, I love you. I love you to death, but don't you dare for a second,
00:07:39.220 tell me how I need to communicate and work with another man with regards to my son's baseball
00:07:43.480 teams. I know that there's ladies, there's moms in there that probably cringe at some of the things 1.00
00:07:47.040 I say and do, but you're not a man and you're not a boy and you'll never understand it. That is not
00:07:51.900 an indictment against you. It just means you'll never understand it because you're not a man.
00:07:57.420 You're not a boy. And so let the men do what men do. Let's stop feminizing every aspect of our 0.97
00:08:04.460 culture. Let's embrace masculinity. Let's celebrate and honor the honorable, capable,
00:08:10.320 bold, righteous men who are doing good on in their own right and then want to turn around and lend a
00:08:16.420 helping hand to somebody in their corner or a son or a young man in their community and let the men
00:08:22.460 do what men do. I have a lot of single women who will reach out to me because they're raising sons 1.00
00:08:27.080 and ladies, I love you. I commend you. My mom raised me and my sister primarily on her own.
00:08:30.920 She did a wonderful job. She's a beautiful, lovely woman, but there was something missing.
00:08:35.920 And again, that's not an indictment on her. It's just, there was something missing. And you know,
00:08:40.440 who filled that for me? Coaches, men, coaches who were never easy on me, who never were light on me,
00:08:47.760 who would yell at me at times, who would have just the total look of disgust or, or even just
00:08:56.220 disappointment. And I could see it. And I didn't want to disappoint those men. And I wanted to perform
00:09:03.580 and I wanted to exceed. And I wanted to excel partly for my own sake and my team, but also for
00:09:10.280 those men, men do it differently. We need to honor that. And the women need to step back from that role 1.00
00:09:17.240 a little bit. And society needs to step back from that role. I saw an interesting video. It looked like
00:09:22.780 a, a young family, a husband and a wife with a young child, maybe two, three years old was at a
00:09:27.660 table and the boy, it was a boy, uh, fell off the chair and the boy was in the middle between the mom
00:09:33.040 and what I assume was the mom and the dad. And he fell off the chair and clearly he was fine. I mean,
00:09:38.520 the boy wasn't injured. He just fell off and lost his balance and he was fine. And the mom rushed over
00:09:43.320 and the dad said, stop. You put his hand up. You could see, he's like, there's no audio on the video,
00:09:48.760 but he's like, stop. Like let him get up. And he taps the chair for the boy to climb back up.
00:09:52.940 And the boy starts climbing back up in the chair and the mom goes over to help him. He's like, no,
00:09:56.500 he pushes it away. He's like, let the boy do it. And that's the difference. Ladies. I'm not telling 1.00
00:10:02.020 you you're wrong at all. You're right. Nurturing, loving empathy, kindness, compassion, emotion,
00:10:08.380 like beautiful. I love it. It's crucial. And also solves the role of men. And so guys,
00:10:14.000 we need to find men in our corner and we need to stop over feminizing every aspect of our culture 0.90
00:10:18.240 and allow us to be men. Third, a lot. And I don't, I don't agree with this one, but I bring it up
00:10:24.620 because it is something that gets brought up quite often. And that is that there tends to be this
00:10:30.140 idea that there's a lack of candidates when it comes to finding other high caliber men who are in
00:10:36.160 your corner. And I put it on here because a lot of guys say that this is not, it's not true.
00:10:41.380 It 100% is not true. I haven't found that to be the case. I have neighbors within 50 yards of my
00:10:50.020 house who are incredible men who I've gone to lunch with and spent time with and broken bread with
00:10:55.200 and had conversations about what goes well and what doesn't go well fit within 50 yards of my house.
00:11:00.880 There's like four of them on this podcast at events. And some might say, well, you know,
00:11:06.500 that's easy for you to say, Ryan, cause you have the podcast and you go to events. You can go to
00:11:09.560 events. You can go to chamber of commerce. You can go to business luncheons. You can go to
00:11:13.920 the gym. You can go to jujitsu. You can go to wherever these guys are. Like there's nothing
00:11:19.800 prohibiting you from doing that. So I can't help, but believe that the guys who say, oh,
00:11:24.460 there's no candidates in my area just aren't really trying either as hard as they should be
00:11:29.180 or as intelligently as they should be. And I'll get into that in a minute, but get over the idea
00:11:35.280 that there's nobody in your area who's thinks like you, uh, or wants to be successful. Like
00:11:41.760 you, you're not an Island and you're not all that special. And I say that with all the love of my
00:11:45.880 heart. Cause I'm directing that at myself too. I'm not all that special. Sometimes I act as if I am
00:11:51.440 like I'm better than other people, or I have something figured out that others don't. I don't,
00:11:55.260 I'm not better than anybody else. I'm not an Island and I'm not isolated.
00:11:59.060 There are people within, like I said, 50 yards of me who are more wealthy, who are more connected,
00:12:06.840 who are better family men, who are better fathers, who are better husbands, who are better people
00:12:10.400 than I ever probably could be. So for us to say, oh, there's no good man. There's no guy I can
00:12:16.760 connect with. That's just not true. There is. We just have to be deliberate and intentional about
00:12:22.000 it. Okay. So we've talked about the issues as to why it's important that men find other men to
00:12:28.820 bandwidth. We've talked about why men don't band with other men. Let's talk about five strategies.
00:12:35.320 If you are interested in figuring out how I can connect with this band of brothers and build this
00:12:39.300 out, what can I do? Number one, you have to be an initiator, right? Nobody's going to come to you.
00:12:44.700 I told you there's guys within 50 yards of me, 50, a hundred yards of me. These guys aren't going to
00:12:49.180 come to me and I don't expect them to. It's not their job. Would it be nice? Sure. Would I appreciate it?
00:12:56.360 Absolutely. But that's not how the world works. And it's not their job. If I'm interested in
00:13:02.420 connecting with these people for them to come to me and create the pathway to connection,
00:13:06.980 guess whose job that is. That's my job. And so I have to look for ways and reasons to connect with.
00:13:14.380 If you're new to an area, the perfect reason is I'm new to the area and it takes balls to do that.
00:13:19.780 But if you want a band of brothers, this is what you'll do. So you knock on all the doors.
00:13:24.300 Hey, my name's Joe. Just moved here a couple of weeks ago. Wanted to introduce myself to the
00:13:30.400 neighbors, see what's going on. How's everything going? And let the conversation go from there.
00:13:36.920 If you see a neighbor that needs some help, maybe they're pulling weeds or they're mowing their lawn
00:13:41.540 or weed whacking or whatever. I remember this when we moved to Maine, our neighbor across the street,
00:13:46.840 just North of us, I was out weed whacking this pretty steep slope of our yard. And I was weed
00:13:53.460 whacking it with a weed whacker. And this guy comes over, his name's John. He was our neighbor.
00:13:57.980 I didn't know him at the time he comes over and he didn't come over and say, Hey, can I help? What
00:14:01.780 can I do to help? No, he came over with his weed whacker, fired up, ready to go. And he just got
00:14:08.360 after it. And I looked at him and he looked at me and he just nodded his head and just kept going.
00:14:15.120 We didn't even talk. We talked when it was done, but that was it. He just nodded. And I knew what
00:14:21.360 that meant. Like I'm here to help you. I'm here to support you. And I nodded back, which means, Hey,
00:14:26.000 I accept the help. I accept the support. And then we had a great conversation. We built a pretty good
00:14:30.820 relationship over three to four years of being out there. That's a man who initiates. He doesn't ask
00:14:36.700 for permission. He doesn't ask how he can help. He doesn't ask like what ways that he can connect.
00:14:41.400 He just finds a way to do it. And then he does it. And that's how we need to be. How can you connect
00:14:48.480 with the men in your neighborhood by knocking on their door? Maybe you're going to have a UFC fight
00:14:53.780 night this weekend. I think there's fights this weekend. So you're going to have a UFC fight night
00:14:57.400 this weekend, ring the dang doorbell and invite those guys over, call a handful of buddies, invite
00:15:03.760 them over, go to the grocery store and spend a hundred bucks, maybe 150. Now with inflation,
00:15:08.760 spend 150 bucks and, and you know, charcuterie board. Like I don't even know if I'm pronouncing that
00:15:14.840 right. And I can't make it as beautiful as I know a lot of women listening to this can,
00:15:17.680 but you can get meat and cheese and crackers and chips and salsa. I wouldn't do vegetables,
00:15:22.780 but you can, if you want, if that's your thing, that's easy. Cost you 150 bucks. Cost you half an
00:15:29.080 hour worth of making phone calls. And then the rest is you enjoy fights with friends. What a powerful
00:15:36.220 way to do that. Jump online right now and say, Hey, you know, I'm into hiking or I'm into jujitsu.
00:15:40.720 I'm into shooting. I'm into painting. I'm into this. I'm into that. I watched a,
00:15:46.540 a Bob Ross documentary about a month or two ago and him and his team would conduct art classes
00:15:54.800 around the country in certain communities. Those things are still exist. Now, Bob Ross is no longer
00:16:00.840 with us to our detriment, but there's other people. If you're into painting, just type in painting in
00:16:06.960 your hometown and you're going to find courses and classes and programs available. You like to cook,
00:16:11.600 do that. You like to sew, do that. You like to hunt, do that. You like to fish, do that. You like
00:16:16.980 to shoot firearms, do that. Like there there's things available is what I'm saying. There are
00:16:21.540 things available. Go find them and initiate. Number two, you've got to do the right activities.
00:16:28.540 Again, I already talked about this. We live in an overly feminized world. And so men aren't about 0.51
00:16:33.200 to sit together and, you know, crochet a baby blankets for each other. Like that's just not
00:16:39.760 something that's going to happen. I know that's an extreme example, but I think you get the point.
00:16:44.100 We're not just going to sit there and talk. Are you interested in that? I'm not interested in that.
00:16:50.840 Like, we're not going to sit there and, you know, hold hands and sing kumbaya to each other to try to
00:16:56.040 make each other feel good about our poor decisions. Like I'm not into that. I'm repulsed by that.
00:17:01.860 You know what I do like though? Fight nights. You know what I do like? Going shooting,
00:17:06.040 training jujitsu, going to the gym. And it doesn't even have to be those so-called like
00:17:11.660 manly activities. It could be painting, but as long as it's a directed and focused task,
00:17:16.040 the whole issue, the whole goal is not to talk. That's the point I'm making. Like we're not getting
00:17:22.380 together to talk. We're getting together to harness our collective energy and capability towards an
00:17:29.960 outcome. And in the meantime, we're going to learn about each other. This is why men connect so well
00:17:35.660 in war. It's really not about you as an individual or the guy standing next to you. It isn't as an
00:17:41.960 individual. What is it about? It's about the mission and you're banded over the mission and
00:17:47.460 through that mission and through the challenge and hardship and adversity and headache and struggle
00:17:51.160 and death and toil, you learn about each other and you serve each other. This is how men communicate.
00:17:58.320 I'm not going to sit around talking to my neighbors about how many kids do you have and what are their
00:18:04.200 hobbies and activities and interests? And what are your biggest concerns with your kid? Like,
00:18:09.400 this is just not what we do. Like that's so draining to me because that's not how we show up.
00:18:16.960 Now, some of you might, if it works great, I'm just saying generally, I'd rather go shooting with
00:18:21.860 a buddy. And in the meantime, I can dabble those questions in. Hey man, what's going on? Like you
00:18:25.760 seem down. Everything good. Yeah. You know, me and my wife, we're having a struggle right now. It's
00:18:30.720 been hard, but yeah. And then you shoot it for a few more rounds. So like, what are you and your
00:18:34.840 wife struggling with? Oh, you know, we got into an argument last night because she thinks I buy 0.99
00:18:38.920 too many guns and we're not able to pay off debt, whatever. I'm just making something up. But you
00:18:43.500 see what I'm saying? Like you connect in the activity, in the mission, the exploration process
00:18:49.960 happens as you're working collectively against a common enemy or towards a common pursuit.
00:18:58.200 Uh, so it's gotta be the right activities. Number three is that you, this is a quick little
00:19:05.160 pro tip right here. Always save one spot, always save one spot. And what I mean by that is that
00:19:11.480 if you're going golfing this weekend, for example, you want to go golfing Saturday morning, eight,
00:19:17.420 nine o'clock, you you've scheduled a foursome. You need to invite two friends. So there's you
00:19:23.120 and then two other friends. So that makes three. And then you always have to save one spot and you
00:19:29.100 save one spot for somebody that you've wanted to connect with, but you haven't been able to do that
00:19:34.700 yet. Maybe it's somebody in your neighborhood. Uh, maybe it's somebody you admire for business.
00:19:40.240 Maybe it's somebody you're connected with on social media who happens to be in your area,
00:19:43.660 but you always save one spot. Golfing is a great example. Hunting for me is a great example.
00:19:49.140 I might have a hunt come up. In fact, I do in the fall. I've got four or five hunts this year,
00:19:53.920 but I have one coming up in the fall where we have six spots available. Four of those I can
00:19:58.660 connect with friends. So four and then me, that's five, that six spot that's reserved for somebody
00:20:05.140 hunting as an, uh, excuse me. I just said hunting, but Hawaii, we've got Hawaii coming up next month.
00:20:11.200 I think we had six spots available. It's me and four close friends. One of those is my son. So
00:20:19.980 closer than a friend. Uh, and then two other spots, one for two other guys that some friends
00:20:25.920 and I have wanted to connect with Eric Chester, uh, with, um, hush and also Seth Studley with
00:20:33.180 anatomy of marriage. Two guys we've kind of know dancing around on the fringes a little bit. We know
00:20:38.500 them. We connect with them. If we call, they'd answer, we'd have conversations, but we want to
00:20:42.120 get to know better. So we always save those spots for somebody we want to invite into the circle.
00:20:47.240 And that doesn't mean they're there forever. It just means, Hey, I want to get to know you more.
00:20:50.300 I want to connect more with you. I want to learn more about you. Maybe this develops into a deeper
00:20:53.640 friendship. Maybe not, but here's a good way to do it. So always save one spot. Uh, number four,
00:20:59.560 you should always, always be in the networking mood or mindset. I should say always in that networking
00:21:05.520 mindset. I had a guy asked me cause we're talking about this in our exclusive brotherhood, the iron
00:21:09.680 council, which is closed right now. But if you want to learn more about it, go to order a man.com
00:21:14.860 slash iron council. Regardless, he was asking about the percentage of time that he should spend
00:21:21.280 networking. And the answer to that is 100% of the time there's no, Hey, 20% of your time should be
00:21:27.460 spent networking or two hours per day should be spent networking. No, every day, all day, you should be
00:21:34.000 looking at forming connections. Now that sounds exhausting to somebody who's never done it.
00:21:38.620 And it also sounds exhausting. If you have a motive, if your motive is I need to be finding
00:21:44.480 guys who can serve me and I can get the most out of, and I can learn things from them and I can just
00:21:48.800 extract a value that's going to be exhausting. If on the other hand, you approach networking with the
00:21:54.720 heart of service, I want to add value to these people's lives. I want to be well connected so I can
00:21:59.420 introduce people to each other. I want to help each other out. If you approach it that way,
00:22:04.380 it's not exhausting at all. In fact, if anything, it's energizing because you're the one making the
00:22:08.960 connections, you're the one serving, you're the one adding value. You're the one creating solutions
00:22:12.640 to people's problems by formulating these connections. That's a cool thing. It's a really
00:22:17.740 cool thing. It's a very fulfilling thing. And you may never get anything out of return in return for
00:22:22.460 the work that you do. That's not why you do it. Again, if you're doing it to get something out of it,
00:22:27.880 it's exhausting. But if you're doing it purely because it's the right thing to do and because
00:22:31.500 you want to be of service, it's not exhausting at all. So go out there, network, connect, find ways
00:22:38.220 to meet people, find ways to add value, learn to tell jokes, learn to communicate, learn to lighten up,
00:22:43.700 learn like whatever you need to learn to make connections, do that. And then the last one here,
00:22:48.620 guys, is just being hyper consistent, just being hyper consistent. I promise you that if you implement
00:22:55.780 what I'm telling you and you do that day in and day out for the next month, for the next six months,
00:23:01.520 for the next year, for the three years, for the 10 years, like you're going to be so well connected.
00:23:06.160 I've been doing order of man now for a little over eight years. Is that right? Yeah. About eight and a
00:23:12.720 half years. I'm so well connected. And I'm not saying that to brag. I'm saying that because this is
00:23:18.440 what I've done. I've initiated conversations. I've initiated friendships. I've saved one spot.
00:23:26.240 I've done the right activities. I'm always networking. And then I'm hyper, hyper consistent
00:23:31.460 towards that work, not towards an outcome, but towards the work. The outcome will take care of
00:23:36.940 itself, but I need to do the work in order to produce that inevitable outcome. Guys, I don't want
00:23:42.080 you to be alone. I don't want you to be isolated. Bad things happen. My mom used to say, idle hands are the
00:23:47.860 devil's workshop. I think that's true. I would also say that idle minds are the devil's workshop as
00:23:52.940 well. Reminds me of a water boy, Bobby Boucher. Everything is the devil. Guys, isolation is bad
00:24:03.580 for you. Being a lone wolf is bad for you. It's bad for your mental health. It's bad for your emotional
00:24:11.040 health. It's bad for your own personal development. It's not good. And I'm taking a hard line stance on
00:24:17.700 that. Some people say, I'm better off alone. That's a bit, that's the, those are the words
00:24:21.620 of a bitter person. You've been burned. You've been hurt. That happens when we interact personally
00:24:26.760 with people. That's an isolated experience. It's an isolated event. I know sometimes people can be
00:24:33.700 hard to trust. I know sometimes people let us down, but ultimately I believe most people are good
00:24:38.520 and most people want to help. And most people want you to win. And most people want to be fulfilled.
00:24:44.700 And most people want to do it with other people. I hope that helps. I hope that serves you. If you're
00:24:50.700 feeling lonely, isolated, depressed, anxious, even suicidal, don't think you're alone. You're not
00:24:57.620 alone. There's people out there who want to serve and help and add value to your lives. And you should
00:25:02.300 want to do that with, for other people as well. So let me know if you have a thoughts, comments,
00:25:06.880 ideas, questions, concerns, critique, whatever, just let me know. Make sure you subscribe, check
00:25:13.140 out the podcast or the podcast. You are listening to the podcast. Check out the iron council. That's
00:25:18.980 our exclusive brotherhood. If you're feeling alone, it's a great way to connect with other
00:25:21.820 like-minded men at order of man.com slash iron council. All right, guys, we'll be back next week.
00:25:27.740 Until then, go out there, take action. Let's all become the men we are meant to be.
00:25:31.360 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
00:25:36.100 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.