Order of Man - Why Every Man Should Dress Well ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 Matt, I recorded a quick little video, a 30-minute video for members of our exclusive

00:00:05.280 Brotherhood, the Iron Council, this week. And I thought it was important enough that I wanted to

00:00:09.920 share with you here on this Friday Field Notes. So you're going to hear a little bit about why

00:00:13.940 I think it's important that we dress for success. We're also going to talk about some common

00:00:19.540 misconceptions about dressing well and key benefits to improving your style. Now, don't

00:00:25.520 get me wrong. This does not mean that you're going to wear a three-piece suit. We're talking

00:00:29.160 about something that is entirely appropriate to wear given the situation or circumstances

00:00:34.020 you find yourself in. But it is about elevating the way that you look, the way that you present

00:00:38.920 yourself, and of course, the way people see you. Guys, don't sleep on this topic. I am

00:00:45.420 inevitably met with a lot of hesitancy and pushback from men who think that style isn't something that

00:00:52.240 men worry about. That is not historically accurate and it's doing nothing to serve you as you work

00:00:57.860 to build influence, credibility, and authority with the people in your life and the people that you

00:01:03.480 love. I hope you enjoy this one.

00:01:04.860 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly charge

00:01:10.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time. You are not

00:01:15.840 easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who you are.

00:01:23.020 This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call

00:01:28.340 yourself a man. Hey guys, I hope all is going well this morning. Hope you're off to a good start.

00:01:33.880 I'm getting back into the swing of things after being gone for a couple of weeks now with some

00:01:38.740 hunts in Texas. We've had a lot of success and had a good time, and obviously now we're back into it.

00:01:45.340 I've seen a lot of chatter and comments about the monthly topic, and I wanted to address that with you

00:01:50.740 because there is some huge, huge misconceptions, and frankly, a lot of you guys are selling yourself

00:01:57.740 short, and you're missing a real opportunity here to level up your life. I know that the concept of

00:02:05.460 dressing for success might seem trivial. It might seem surface level. It might seem nonsensical or

00:02:13.020 unimportant, but I can assure you if you spend the next, what are we, March 19th, the next 11 days

00:02:19.820 and go all in on this thing, you're going to see results. Absolutely, 100%. I will guarantee

00:02:26.940 that you see results in your life. What does that look like? Well, your wife's going to be more 1.00

00:02:31.500 attracted to you. Clients are going to be more attracted to you. You're going to get presented

00:02:35.260 with more opportunities. You're going to be taken more seriously. It's just pretty amazing when you

00:02:43.900 start to think about how you dress, how you show up, what you look like, and how you present yourself.

00:02:50.300 So I'm going to talk about some misconceptions today, and we're going to go through that. We're

00:02:53.980 going to hash some of this out because I'm a little dumbfounded by how many men are resistant to this.

00:03:01.260 I've used this analogy in the past, but if I told you to build a home and I said, here's a hammer,

00:03:05.900 or here's an impact driver, or here's a nail gun, and you said, no, I'm not going to use that because

00:03:10.940 because I don't think we need to. You're going to build an inferior home. It's just the reality of

00:03:17.420 it. I had a great conversation with one of our battle team leaders just a couple of days ago,

00:03:24.060 and he said there was a heated debate about why men should judge people on the content of their

00:03:30.620 character as opposed to the way they look. Now, I don't disagree with that necessarily,

00:03:35.100 but that's a false dichotomy. It's a false dichotomy to believe that you

00:03:40.300 either have to judge people based on their character or based on the way they look.

00:03:46.380 And what's interesting about this is anybody, including you, who's ever said,

00:03:49.980 well, I don't judge a book by its cover. Bullshit. Bullshit. I'm calling you out right now,

00:03:55.740 and I want you to be very, very honest with yourself about it. Let's take an extreme example.

00:03:59.820 Let's say you go to the gym and you're looking around and you see a bunch of people, guys working

00:04:03.740 out, ladies working out, and you're looking around and you see an attractive woman. Let's be honest. 0.59

00:04:09.820 Okay, guys, we can be honest here. If we're not going to be honest here, we can't be honest

00:04:12.540 anywhere. You see an attractive woman. She's got a great body. She's got a great ass. 1.00

00:04:16.060 She's wearing clothes that reveal maybe more than it should, but you're going to check her out,

00:04:20.860 right? Like any man's going to check her out. And if you're saying, I'm a married man,

00:04:24.940 I wouldn't check her out. You're lying. You would check her out. You may not gawk.

00:04:28.860 You may not be inappropriate, but you're going to catch a glance. A hundred percent you are.

00:04:33.020 Are you judging her on the content of her character? Fuck? No, you're not. You're judging her

00:04:37.900 on the way she looks. She looked good in that pair of yoga pants. Now, conversely, 1.00

00:04:42.060 let's say there's another woman in there and she's a hundred pounds overweight. 1.00

00:04:46.060 She doesn't look great physically. You're not attracted to her anyway. You say, oh,

00:04:50.140 I'm sure she's a sweet spirit. No, you don't say that. In fact, you don't even give her the time

00:04:55.180 of day. You're judging people on the way they look. Let's say you're going to hire an attorney

00:04:59.820 for some work. You go into the law firm that you've set an appointment with and the guy is sharp.

00:05:05.980 He's got a great suit on. He looks the part. His office is impeccable. His office assistants are

00:05:14.380 respectful and professional and on top of things, the guy shows up on time. He sits you down in this

00:05:20.380 beautiful office, this conference room. He's got the suit. He's got the look. He's got the demeanor.

00:05:25.180 And he starts to talk with you about whatever your legal issue is. You feel a lot of confidence in that guy.

00:05:30.780 Let's say, conversely, you go into another law firm and it's one of those cheap law firms

00:05:36.460 and the guy's kind of a slob. It's a little bit of a hole in the wall place. He can't really find 0.99

00:05:41.020 the place. His office staff is non-attentive, dismissive, maybe even non-existent. You walk in,

00:05:46.700 the guy doesn't look the part, doesn't act the part, doesn't dress the part. Who do you hire?

00:05:52.220 Of course, you're going to hire the guy who looks the part, who you think is going to help you produce

00:05:56.620 results. I don't understand why guys say, I only judge people on the content of their character.

00:06:01.500 No, you don't. You're lying to yourself. You judge people based on how they look. Now,

00:06:07.180 you could be wrong. I'm not saying that. I've been wrong. I know plenty of sharp-dressed guys

00:06:12.060 and gals who are pieces of trash as human beings. But the first approach is always, 1.00

00:06:17.100 what do they look like? How do they present themselves? How do they look? Now, some people

00:06:21.260 might say, well, you know, Ryan, but if I got a referral or if I got an introduction to that person,

00:06:25.340 and that guy, that lawyer was on top of it, even though he looked the way he is, I would hire him.

00:06:30.620 Right. But that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about first impressions and what

00:06:35.340 somebody like that would say about that is no longer a first impression. Now you're going based

00:06:40.060 off credibility, which is borrowed credibility that you have with another person. That's why you got the

00:06:44.700 referral. Guys, why do we overlook this? I don't understand. Now, a lot of the times when we approach

00:06:52.780 this dress for success topic, guys will say, well, I don't want to wear a three-piece suit. I don't

00:06:57.980 want you to wear a three-piece suit. Why would you wear that? Look what I'm wearing. This is entirely

00:07:04.700 appropriate for this conversation. I've got our new order of man hat on. I've got an iron council

00:07:10.380 shirt or iron sharpens iron shirt on. I've got that behind me. This is entirely appropriate. I don't

00:07:15.260 look like a slob. Clearly, I'm intentional about what I'm wearing, but no one would say I'm dressed up. 0.99

00:07:20.060 Now, if I take my girlfriend out on a date, I don't wear this. Last night, her and I went out 0.91

00:07:26.940 and I put a nice pair of pants on. I actually cleaned my boots. I didn't wear different boots.

00:07:32.220 I just cleaned them and conditioned them. I've got some red wings that I wear. They're my go-to.

00:07:38.220 I didn't put on, you know, wingtip shoes that I'd wear to church. Of course not. But I cleaned my shoes.

00:07:45.820 I polished them. I made them look nice. I put a nice fitting pair of jeans on. I wore a chambray

00:07:51.180 shirt. I did my hair. In fact, I got a haircut yesterday because I knew we were going to go spend

00:07:56.700 time together. I trimmed my beard. I put deodorant on. I clipped my nails. Guys, what is the aversion

00:08:06.700 here? I think it's that too many of us are lazy. We see life different than reality. Like,

00:08:18.060 I would like it to be this way. I'd like people to judge me based on my capability. That's fine

00:08:24.140 and great, but that's ridiculous because that's not how you do it. And that's not how anybody else does

00:08:30.700 it. Now, sure, you have to have something that backs up the way that you look, right?

00:08:36.460 If you're an attorney, to go back to our previous example, and you look the part, but you're dog

00:08:39.980 shit when it comes to performance, you're going to be found out. But that's not the conversation

00:08:45.020 that we're having. The conversation that we're having is setting yourself up for success,

00:08:49.660 more opportunities, better credibility and respect with other people, more influence with other

00:08:54.700 people. That's what we want, right? So look the part. Again, for those of you who are jumping on

00:09:01.340 late, that doesn't mean wear a three-piece suit. And I really appreciate in your fantasy land that you

00:09:07.260 think you judge people by the content of their character. At some point, probably, but what I would

00:09:13.100 suggest to you, and I titled this live video this way on purpose, the way you look is your ticket to

00:09:20.780 entry. That's it. It's your ticket to entry. It's your ticket to entry with women. It's your ticket 1.00

00:09:26.860 to entry with clients. It's your ticket to entry with other relationships. And then from there,

00:09:33.260 there's more that goes on behind the scenes where you actually have to prove that you are somebody of

00:09:39.340 value. But we're just talking about the ticket to entry. And don't you want to get into more

00:09:44.380 opportunities, more clients, more romantic relationships, a deeper romantic relationship,

00:09:49.660 better relationships with your kids? It starts with the way that you look. It's not the breadth

00:09:53.980 of what we do. It's an element of what we do. Let's get into some comments here, guys. Okay?

00:10:01.100 All right. If you have questions, drop them. I'm going to address some of these comments. And

00:10:05.580 if you have questions, like I said, drop those in the comments and I'll get to it.

00:10:09.740 She has good character. Michael Ferguson says she has good character. Yeah, nobody says that

00:10:14.140 unless they're joking. She's a sweet spirit, right? We've all heard that. Oh,

00:10:16.940 she has good character. She's a sweet spirit. That means she's ugly. Okay? For those of you who

00:10:21.820 are afraid to say it, that means she's ugly and you're unwilling to say it. You're not interested,

00:10:28.060 clearly. Tony Rapinoe says, I absolutely do judge a book by their cover. If I meet someone staring at

00:10:33.420 their toes and looking like a slob, I will immediately assume our values don't align and I 1.00

00:10:38.220 won't spend much of my valuable time to learn everything about the person. That's right, Tony. And a lot

00:10:44.060 of guys will say, well, man, you could miss out on a great opportunity. Yeah, I could,

00:10:48.860 but we have so many decisions to make on a daily basis that I just have to make the best one.

00:10:55.420 And spending time with a slob is to me an indicator that that person's probably a slob 1.00

00:11:02.220 in other aspects of their life. And I can't spend my time engaging with relationships like that.

00:11:08.940 Now people say, oh, that's shallow, Ryan. That's shallow. I can't believe. You do it too. Everyone

00:11:15.820 does it. You have to make decisions. Our time is finite. We have to make decisions. And the way that

00:11:21.260 we present ourselves is the first decision that we make. Peter says, first impressions matter.

00:11:27.660 Rick says, I guess there are dudes who have, who have neglected it or don't understand it well

00:11:32.860 enough that it might need the time to get up to speed. Everything we wear is a costume. You

00:11:38.940 I think I understand. So Dustin Mayberry says, everything we wear is a costume. I think I agree

00:11:46.300 with the sentiment. I don't like the verbiage because when you say costume, like when do we wear

00:11:53.180 costumes? Halloween comes to mind. When we're pretending to be something we're not. That's when

00:11:58.700 we wear a costume. I think I agree with the sentiment, but the differentiating factor here is

00:12:03.900 that I don't wear costumes because I'm trying to pretend that I'm something I'm not. I'm trying

00:12:09.420 to accentuate who I actually am. So there's some disingenuineness in costume versus what I'm telling

00:12:18.380 you is to just level up the way that you look, level up your appearance. It's still genuine,

00:12:23.260 but you're accentuating and highlighting more of who you are and what you want to present the world.

00:12:28.140 Because you guys might think, for example, you're disciplined and you might really want to portray

00:12:32.620 that to your wife or your kids or your colleagues, coworkers, clients, et cetera. But what you wear

00:12:37.180 doesn't signal that. Your shirt doesn't fit. You've got 50 pounds of extra weight that you're carrying

00:12:44.540 around. You know, you're wearing cargo shorts, you're wearing socks with sandals. And so people

00:12:49.980 are going to interpret that to mean something. So you want to make sure that what you're wearing

00:12:54.540 is in alignment with who you believe yourself to be. Let's go to Ryan Pertain. He says,

00:12:59.500 I would think that the guys I see that are balking about this topic are struggling with insecurity in

00:13:03.420 their appearance and are afraid that an investment in their appearance won't make a difference and will

00:13:07.020 confirm their fear. Yeah, I agree with that, Ryan. I think that's probably true. They think that it

00:13:13.820 won't matter. They don't know how to do it. They wish life was different. It's not. And by the way,

00:13:21.180 it doesn't take a large investment. You know, get yourself two pairs of pants that fit well.

00:13:27.740 I've got these Red Wings. I bought those for probably, I don't know, a couple of hundred

00:13:31.420 bucks. I've had them for a decade, literally a decade. And I think I've resold them twice,

00:13:37.020 maybe once. Like, I don't need to go buy a new pair of shoes. I'm just going to get those resold.

00:13:41.420 And I condition, I take care of them about high quality things so that I can have it for a long

00:13:46.860 period of time. Joey Gomez says, investing in yourself, AKA the way you dress is never a bad

00:13:54.300 idea. Sure, it's more money, but it's also more impact on those around you. So, Joey, I think

00:14:00.620 you're right. I want to talk about price and cost. I'm just making some notes here. Price versus cost.

00:14:06.620 We need to understand this. This is an economic lesson. There's a price tag associated with

00:14:11.100 everything we buy. If you go buy a brand new pair of jeans and it's $100 on the price tag,

00:14:16.620 that's the price. It's $100. It's objective. It's flat. It's $100. That's it. There's no

00:14:22.300 interpretation about it. Then we have what we would call the cost. So, there's a difference,

00:14:27.820 again, between price and cost. The cost is $100. But let's say you buy that pair of jeans and you feel

00:14:34.540 good about the way that you wear them, you think they look good, and you carry yourself just a

00:14:38.860 little bit better. And you buy those jeans to go into a brand new interview or out on a date.

00:14:45.500 And because you have those jeans and you look good and you look the part and you feel good,

00:14:49.740 you carry yourself with more confidence, you land the interview for the job. You land the date

00:14:55.580 or the second date because you're wearing those jeans. Now, the price is $100, but you just secured a

00:15:01.820 job. Now, look, I know this is not the only factor. So, this is an extreme example. But you

00:15:05.980 secure the job partly because you're wearing those new jeans and you look good, you feel good,

00:15:09.260 you present yourself well. You secure the job, you were making $100,000, now you're making $120,000 a

00:15:14.940 year. What was the cost of those pair of jeans? Zero. Didn't cost you anything. Yes, the price was $100,

00:15:22.860 but you used that and leveraged the way that you looked to produce a desired result, which created an

00:15:28.540 additional $20,000 a year of revenue for you. I know that's an extreme, maybe even silly example,

00:15:33.420 but you get the point. If you invest in your clothing and your appearance and the way that you

00:15:38.700 look and you spend a little time maybe looking what other men are wearing on Instagram that you

00:15:44.220 think looks sharp or you go to a nicer store, you spend maybe just a little bit more money and you buy

00:15:51.020 the things that fit and you invest into yourself, it's going to be returned to you. That's the difference

00:15:55.020 between price and cost. Joseph says, I think more than laziness, it's more than shame. Guys who resist

00:16:04.380 know they look awful. They don't want to confront it, so they argue against the idea. This topic has

00:16:09.420 been great. I think guys need to understand it's not about picking the best shoes. It's about considering

00:16:13.180 and communicating your why in all things. Dead on with that, Joseph. I like that last part. It's

00:16:18.780 considering and communicating your why. What I would call that is intentionality. You're just being

00:16:25.020 intentional. When I go hunting, I wear intentional clothing. I made a post a couple of days ago about

00:16:31.820 this. The three Fs of style are fit, fabric, and function. And you need all three. If it's functional,

00:16:38.780 it doesn't look good. Yeah, maybe it'll look functional, but you're not going to garner any

00:16:42.780 influence and credibility with other people. And every opportunity comes with other people.

00:16:49.340 If it fits well, but it doesn't function, I can wear a suit out on a hunt, but it's not

00:16:52.380 going to function very well, and that's not going to be real practical.

00:16:55.980 The fabric is the way that it looks. So if you use cheap fabric,

00:17:00.620 then it's going to look cheap. If you use the right fabric for the right occasion,

00:17:06.940 then you're going to have success and you're going to look the part as well. So

00:17:09.980 I like the idea of intentionality. Emmanuel Diaz. I work public accounting in the Bay Area.

00:17:16.140 The office attire has been changed drastically. Jeans and a button up is accepted, but it's easy

00:17:20.540 to slack off and dress sloppy. I'm not trying, let's see, I try not to, but sometimes I catch

00:17:25.500 myself getting sloppy. Yeah, it is. There's some drift associated with this. So if your office lacks

00:17:31.660 a dress code or starts to lack on it a little bit or slack on it a little bit, then it's easy to drift,

00:17:37.260 but you could actually look really, really good in a pair of jeans and a button up.

00:17:41.740 And how do you do this? Well, first you get jeans that fit. An example of this, and I love this

00:17:48.860 person. So I'm, I'm throwing them under the bus a little bit, but I think very, very highly of this

00:17:53.100 person. Well, there's two people that come to mind, Ed Milet and Jocko Willink. Horrible, horrible

00:17:59.340 style. Now, granted they're successful in their own right. So you might say, see, style doesn't matter.

00:18:04.780 I think it does. I think if they looked better with what they wore, they would even have more

00:18:10.700 influence than they already have. Jordan Peterson, a great example. Now I don't like what he wears,

00:18:15.500 but clearly he's intentional about what he's wearing. His two-faced shirt or a suit where he's

00:18:21.100 got like the white and the black or the purple and the blue, whatever it is. I don't, I don't like

00:18:25.260 that, but he's being intentional about it. When you go to one of his lectures, he's always in a beautiful,

00:18:31.660 probably custom fitted, custom tailored suit. He's trying to portray intelligence,

00:18:38.460 professionalism, right? He's deliberately trying to do that. It makes sense. Ed Milet wears

00:18:45.740 baggy jeans. I'm like, bro, you're fit. You're jack. You're successful. Get a pair of jeans that fit.

00:18:53.740 Jocko Willink will wear cargo shorts. He'll wear dad shoes with ankle socks. Like it looks,

00:18:59.100 it doesn't look good. Look the part, dress well, and you're going to have even more influence.

00:19:05.660 I know a lot of guys are going to be like, well, they're successful. Yeah, I know. I know they are.

00:19:10.060 That's the exception. And you're not Jocko and you're not Ed Milet. Neither am I. Chad says,

00:19:14.780 the best thing I learned from following Tanner is wearing the bright colors and clothes that fit

00:19:18.380 right. I noticed a change in my confidence in public right away. I think that's a huge advantage,

00:19:22.700 guys. And one that we often overlook is if you look good, you play good,

00:19:25.740 right? If you're fit and you're wearing shirts that fit, pants that fit, you're wearing the right

00:19:31.020 attire, even though it's not that three piece suit, you're going to carry yourself different.

00:19:35.180 And there's something to be said for that alone. The fact that you feel good about yourself.

00:19:38.940 Ree says, speak to men dressing their team and crew. A young man on our team call is questioning

00:19:43.900 his landscape crew and their performance on his client's lawns, suggesting his crew's appearance,

00:19:48.380 maybe standard uniform can pay off. Absolutely. Look, we take blue collar work and we think,

00:19:53.580 well, I can just wear whatever I want. I can wear dirty clothes and wear dirty shoes. I can wear a

00:19:57.500 t-shirt, you know, a graphic t-shirt with Mickey Mouse on it or whatever. And you think that your

00:20:01.580 clients are going to appreciate that as much as somebody who comes not with cargo shorts,

00:20:06.540 but a nice fitting pair of tacky shorts, a nice polo shirt that's branded. That's the right color

00:20:14.860 that has the logo. You're all wearing the same uniform. I think this about high school sports teams.

00:20:20.140 I see this all the time in basketball and football, whatever the sport is. Coaches are wearing

00:20:24.860 whatever the hell they want. What are you guys doing? You tell your team to wear this specific

00:20:29.980 uniform, the specific colors. You have two or three uniforms per season and you coaches come.

00:20:35.340 You're not even wearing the same shoes. You're not wearing the same shorts. You're not wearing the

00:20:38.860 same shirt. I don't understand. If you're a coach and you've got five coaches, let's say,

00:20:45.100 or three coaches, whatever it may be, you all need to wear the same shoes. You all need to wear

00:20:50.380 the same shorts. You all need to wear the same dry fit polo shirt. You all need to wear the same hat.

00:20:55.900 It's a uniform. Look good. What are you portraying? Discipline, commitment, pride in the team.

00:21:04.060 What are you communicating to your team? That you are part of the team, that you are not an individual,

00:21:09.100 that you are part of this group, that you will do exactly what you require of your team members.

00:21:14.700 Guys, look the part. Again, if you're doing landscaping, I'm not saying that you should

00:21:20.780 wear a bathing suit on one end of the spectrum or a three-piece suit on the other. I'm saying,

00:21:27.820 take the cargo shorts off, put on a nice fitting pair of khaki shorts, put on whatever your company

00:21:34.620 color is, with a nice logo across the front left chest. All of you wearing the same thing.

00:21:39.420 If hats, because you're out in the sun all day, sure, a hat's appropriate. Make sure it's a colored

00:21:43.900 hat that matches with your branding. This is very, very simple stuff, and it goes a long way.

00:21:50.220 And by the way, if two gardeners came to me, let's say I wanted to have my lawns and maintenance done

00:21:55.340 out in the yard, and I had two people come over, and one of them just looked, they drove this nasty

00:22:00.700 truck. They looked like slobs. They didn't communicate well. And then the other one came

00:22:07.260 with a nice clean truck that's branded. They came, they had the khaki shorts on and the polo shirt and

00:22:12.700 the hat, and they were professional about the way they presented themselves. I would hire that. Now,

00:22:16.540 you might say, well, the other guys might be better. They might, but I'll never know because

00:22:19.900 that's not what we're making decisions on. Neither are you. Again, to reiterate my point.

00:22:23.980 So Robert Gillespie says, sounds like, I don't really, maybe I need to go back and see.

00:22:27.820 Oh, okay. So Jaden, I missed this one. I do have a question. I like to say I dress nicely,

00:22:34.540 and I am in decent shape, but that has led to people saying it makes me seem like a player.

00:22:39.740 So I'm wondering, is that something to embrace? I always related it to a negative connotation.

00:22:47.100 Well, I don't know. A couple things could be going on here. Maybe you have a misrepresentation of

00:22:53.500 how you actually look. So it's good to get objective feedback. And if you start to notice trends,

00:22:57.180 then maybe that's something you should consider. Um, maybe it's the people that you're hanging out

00:23:02.220 with. They just don't appreciate somebody dressing well and dressing up. And I don't know which one

00:23:06.620 that is. So you'll have to, you'll have to consider that, uh, based on your demographic or your target

00:23:12.780 audience. So for example, if you're single, I don't know if you are Jaden, but if you're single

00:23:16.780 and you're trying to approach women or get dates or build relationships with women,

00:23:22.140 then it's probably a good idea to ask women about your appearance. Hey, what does this 0.99

00:23:27.180 say about me? What, like what I'm wearing, what does this say? Do you, do you appreciate it?

00:23:31.820 Do you not appreciate it? Uh, and that might give you a better idea. So it could, could be one of

00:23:36.620 those two things. You have to be careful because a lot of the times friends, especially if you chart

00:23:41.180 start to improve your style, friends will make fun of you. Oh, well, look at you, Mr. Rich guy over

00:23:48.540 here. Oh, who are you trying to impress? Oh man, you're trying to outdo us. Friends will say that.

00:23:53.180 So you have to be aware of that. If everyone would just wear a moo hat, we'd all know who 1.00

00:23:56.860 they were. Exactly. It's easy, Rick. It's easy. Robert. I also feel attacked every time there's

00:24:02.220 a mention of cargo shorts since Magellan fishing gear has become a daily staple to my Florida man

00:24:06.940 status over my jeans and insulated boots. I'm not saying cargo shorts are bad. I wore cargo pants

00:24:12.060 when I was in the military, but if I'm going out on a date with my wife, there's no reason to wear

00:24:16.780 cargo shorts. Again, fit, fabric, function. The function's not there. Going out with somebody,

00:24:22.860 I don't need to wear cargo shorts. The fit's off. They're sitting too low on the knee. They're not

00:24:29.260 high enough. They're not fit enough. Like it's, it's now, if you're going out in war or going out

00:24:35.660 fishing, okay. Like nobody's going to bag on your cargo shorts, but if you're doing it in inappropriate

00:24:40.780 places, then of course you're going to get made fun of. Of course. Yeah. See, so Robert says,

00:24:47.180 I mean, 25 years in Alaska, then moving to Florida has some lifestyle changes, right? So you need to

00:24:52.060 adjust to that. This is a good point that John made. You don't have to like what someone else is

00:24:57.500 wearing to know they're dressing well. I think that's the point I was making with Jordan Peterson.

00:25:01.740 I don't necessarily like what he wears. I wouldn't wear that. I don't, I don't think it looks great,

00:25:06.460 but I also know he's being intentional about it and I can appreciate that. All right,

00:25:10.300 let's go to Carrick. He says, I think there may be some confusion between dressing with style,

00:25:14.380 which is current, which is current society can be perceived as flamboyant. The point of the

00:25:19.500 conversation is dressing well, falling back to those three F's that you mentioned. Yeah. I mean,

00:25:23.500 we use style, right? We use that term, but you're right. Three F's. And that's why I don't use the term 1.00

00:25:29.340 fashion, by the way, because fashion, fashion would be even more repulsive to men than style is,

00:25:34.940 but we all want to be stylish. My bro and I are handyman and we match almost every day with our

00:25:39.740 business shirts and blue jeans. We definitely stand out compared to the competition. Of course,

00:25:43.100 you do Spencer. And I commend you for doing that. Go the extra step. Michael says, that's for Jocelyn

00:25:48.460 uniform. I saw a presentation where members of team had different colored polos. If help,

00:25:52.780 it helped people. I don't know what this is. If help people I'd who was certain shirts were only earned.

00:25:59.580 I don't really know what that means. John, sloppy appearance means they will likely do sloppy work.

00:26:07.020 I think we got through all the comments here. What if I think I, okay, this is a good question. I like

00:26:12.140 this question. Dan says, what if I think I look good wearing cargo shorts? Well, all the power to you,

00:26:18.620 but nobody else does. Nobody else does. And so you might say, well, you know, it doesn't matter what

00:26:25.260 other people think. That's not true. That's a lie guys. You know, when you hear these tough guys on

00:26:31.420 the internet say, I don't give an F what anybody else thinks they're lying to you

00:26:38.860 and they're selling you and themselves short. I care what people think. I care what you guys think.

00:26:43.740 What would it be like if I didn't care what you thought of me? What would it be like if I didn't

00:26:50.380 care what my children thought of me or my girlfriend or my clients or my business partners?

00:26:57.980 How would I actually show up guys? The guys who were telling you, I don't care what other people

00:27:02.540 think. It's only about how I feel. They're lying to you. And if they believe they're right, they're

00:27:08.380 ridiculous. They're not smart people because we care about what other people think that the

00:27:13.820 differentiating factor is caring about the right people. So I do care about what you think of me.

00:27:19.420 I do care about what my girlfriend and my kids and other people in my life think about me. So part of,

00:27:25.820 not the only, but part of the approach to that is the way that I present myself. Yep. Rob says,

00:27:31.260 we all care. Of course you care. So stop saying you don't care. And look, if you want to wear cargo

00:27:36.860 shorts, then just know that people aren't going to take cargo camo shorts even better. Just know that

00:27:44.940 people are going to take you less seriously. If you're okay with that, then fine. All we're talking about

00:27:49.340 is intentionality. But if you want to be taken seriously, you put the cargo camo shorts away and

00:27:55.260 you'll wear clothes that actually communicate what you want to communicate. I think you were saying

00:28:01.100 that a little bit tongue in cheek, Dan, but also worthy of addressing. Josh says, when will you be

00:28:10.140 issuing an icy white apology for the reference of you wearing lingerie on a hunt? Josh, you know,

00:28:14.380 you would have liked to have seen it last week when we were down in Texas. I know it. You don't

00:28:18.300 have to say it. I know it. I saw it in your eyes. All right, guys. Do you have any other questions

00:28:22.460 about this? Like, let's get over it. Okay. Enough of the stigma. Enough of like, oh, just,

00:28:26.700 it's just how you are. And like, look at the content. Sure. Look at the content of your character

00:28:31.020 and also give yourself an opportunity by looking good. Okay. Look good. Not the three-piece suit.

00:28:40.700 I'm not wearing a three-piece suit. You guys think less of me for what I'm wearing or does

00:28:45.980 this look appropriate? Let me give you one other example, a little anecdote, a little story. A

00:28:50.220 couple of years ago, I went down to, that's about two and a half years ago. Yeah. Two and a half years

00:28:54.780 ago, I went down to Mexico with my then wife, my kids, and about eight other guys who were in this

00:29:01.100 similar spaces and their spouses and their kids. And we had a great time because we were thinking

00:29:04.940 about doing a conference together. And I got into the airport, my ex-wife and my kids, we got to the

00:29:10.460 airport and we were looking for other people. And as we were leaving, we started to look around because

00:29:18.060 we knew that there was a couple of other order of man guys and a couple of other guys who we were

00:29:21.820 bringing to this conference. And what was funny is my ex-wife turned to me and she said, hey,

00:29:25.980 there's one of your guys. And I looked over and sure enough, it was one of our guys and said,

00:29:30.380 how'd you know that? She's like, you all look the same. It's like you have a uniform. Right. She gets it.

00:29:36.940 It's a uniform. If I go into the airport or in a public space, I will see people. I'm like,

00:29:42.940 I bet that guy listens to my podcast because I see what he's wearing. It's appropriate. That's the

00:29:48.700 point that I'm making. It's appropriate. And you can start to identify who is who

00:29:52.220 based on what you're wearing. You saw this in high school, the jocks and the nerds and the,

00:29:57.020 you know, all the other people in school, you could see what they were wearing and know what

00:30:01.580 tribe they belong to. So what you wear is a representation of who you are.

00:30:07.340 Yeah. That's a good point. He says, I wouldn't listen to you if you did wear a three-piece suit.

00:30:11.660 Right. And you know how many people listen to me who wear three-piece suits? Probably not many.

00:30:15.660 Right. Because it doesn't resonate with them. It's a different audience. So I'm intentional

00:30:22.620 about it. Okay, guys? Order a man polo. Good idea. Dustin, I'll see what I can do on that.

00:30:26.940 I just got some new hats in, including this one. This one's brand new. This is the

00:30:30.620 curb room hat, but it's a new pattern, new camo pattern. So we just got this one and I'll be posting

00:30:34.460 this later this afternoon. Anyways, enough of the stigma, enough of like, let's just judge by the content

00:30:39.980 of our character. Dive in for the next two weeks and see if it changes things. Fully immerse yourself,

00:30:45.980 especially if you're hesitant or resistant about this topic. Dive in. You're here to do something

00:30:51.980 different. You're here to push yourself. Stop fighting so hard against things. Ask yourself,

00:30:57.820 can I dive in for two weeks and really go all in on this subject and be honest in my assessment about

00:31:03.500 what it presents in my life? I think it'll produce positive results for you. All right, guys.

00:31:09.820 Joey, I honestly wear plain black shirts all day. Just eliminates the fact. That's fine.

00:31:13.900 Look, so here's the confusion. I'm not saying don't wear plain black shirts.

00:31:20.300 That's not what I'm saying. Okay. And guys will say, well, I don't care what about what I look.

00:31:25.260 I just wear plain black shirts. No, you do care because you're making a decision to wear plain

00:31:30.220 black shirts for a reason. That's intentionality. I'm not saying don't. I'm saying being intentional

00:31:36.140 about what you're wearing to communicate what you want to communicate. Rob, when I worked at

00:31:40.860 a Christian rehab, we required collar shirts everywhere, no hats, appearances, everything.

00:31:47.020 John says, I love wearing three-piece suits. If you get it comfortable, well,

00:31:50.460 I mean, sure, that's fine. I'm not going to ever wear a three-piece suit. I won't say ever,

00:31:54.540 but very, very, very, very, very rare occasions because I'm just not interested. But again,

00:31:59.580 the style isn't about just wearing that three-piece suit. But if it fits you and you feel good and

00:32:03.580 it's appropriate for the situation, all the power to you. All right, guys, I got to go. I hope that

00:32:08.300 helps and give you some insight. I'll catch you guys soon. Thank you for listening to the Order of

00:32:12.300 Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

00:32:17.660 we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

00:32:20.380 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:32:22.380 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:32:26.380 We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - March 22, 2024

Why Every Man Should Dress Well ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript