Why "Following Your Passion" is Bad Advice | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, Ryan talks about the importance of finding your passion, and why it's not about finding your purpose. It's about stepping into your purpose, and discovering your purpose in life, and stepping out of your comfort zone.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,
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and I am the host and the founder of this movement and the order of man podcast. Welcome here.
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I want to cut through all the BS today. I want to cut through the ads and through the
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intro. You guys all know what we're doing. If you are new, you can go back and listen to other
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podcasts. Just make sure you subscribe, leave a rating and review, all that kind of stuff.
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All right. I want to talk with you about something very important today, because
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this is something that I hear a lot from men. I know a lot of guys are struggling and what
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they're struggling with is finding their passion, finding their passion. There's a lot of men out
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there who are very, very unhappy with their current work, their current employment, their current life,
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their current job. If you're anything like me, there, there was a point in my life where I just
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felt like, you know what? There's something more for me. I'm, I'm, I'm made for something more than
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what I'm currently doing. And I know a lot of you listening feel very much the same way.
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And so you've adopted this idea, the notion that you should find and follow your passion.
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I think there's danger in that. Maybe not danger, but I just think it's a misguided idea. I don't
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think the idea of following your passion or finding your passion is serving you. It's very passive,
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right? When I hear find your, find your passion. What, what I think is that at some point in your life,
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it will just miraculously show up that you'll be, you know, walking down the road or engaged in your
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work or doing whatever it is you do. And the clouds will part and the light will shine through
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and the angels will sing hallelujah. And everything about your path moving forward will be conveniently
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laid out before you. And that when you find your passion, everything will begin to fall into place.
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Now it has not been my experience in my life. And I can attest to that for other very, very
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successful men that it hasn't been that way either. And I think when we buy into the notion
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of the finding your passion, we think that just because we may at some point find something we're
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excited about, that it should be easy. And what ends up happening is if the path is, is anything but
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easy. And it will be even things you're excited about, the path is not easy. It's not comfortable
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that it must not be right. And so what guys do was they'll throw in the towel.
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They'll be pursuing something, a podcast or, or a side business or a, or a hustle, if you will.
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And they'll realize, you know what, like this is hard and it's challenging and, and there's ups and
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downs and there's the roller coaster of running a business and, and trying to grow a business.
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And because there's so many ups and downs and so many hardships, they'll think, well,
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it must not be right. And I believe that that is one of the greatest dangers with the follow your
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passion crowd. If you want more information on this, I would definitely look into Cal Newport's
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work. One book is so good. They can't ignore you. And the other is deep work. He's got other works as
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well, but those two books will help illustrate and communicate a little more in depth about what
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I'm talking about. Guys, finding your passion isn't a passive strategy. It isn't one day you're
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just going to be walking down the road and everything's going to miraculously work out for
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you. What I would suggest is that if you are feeling like you're meant and almost destined,
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like I felt for something more in your life, then it isn't about finding your passion or discovering
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your life's purpose or your, your meaning for being on this spinning rock. It's about stepping
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into some curiosity. That's it. And I know that isn't as sexy. I know that doesn't sound as great.
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I know it doesn't, uh, conjure up any sort of, you know, grand vision for what your life is supposed
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to look like. But I'm telling you, if you're curious about something or even remotely interested
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in something, then you ought to explore it. You owe it to yourself to explore what that interest is.
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So if it's picking up a guitar, uh, I had a guy reach out just last week. I think I mentioned it
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on the ask me anything that he, uh, does ice sculptures, which is kind of a unique and interesting
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thing to be interested in. Uh, whether it's photography or building websites or starting a
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podcast or getting into mechanics or learning how to hunt or whatever, learning how to paint,
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whatever the thing is that you're even feeling remotely curious about or interested in just take
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one step guys. All right. So if you're the kind of guy who's listening to this and you're like,
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man, I just know, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I am meant for something more.
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And you're wondering how to find it. Cause that is one of the questions I get quite often is how do I
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find my passion? You step into something that you're interested in. That's it.
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There isn't any other answer that I can give you. You just step into something, one step into
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something that you're interested in. Let me give you a little bit of backstory with order of man.
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I was doing a podcast for my financial planning practice. This was six, seven years ago now.
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And I thought, you know, this would be a great way for me to, uh, market and promote my,
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my services and this new digital media that, uh, I had become aware of other people were doing it,
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but nothing like I wanted to do. Uh, and I started by buying a, like an $80 microphone.
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The blue Yeti is what it was called. And I recorded basically the first conversation that
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I would have with new financial planning prospects. And then I would burn it onto CDs. And so I had,
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uh, some professional pictures taken. That was me, you know, a little bit heavier without the beard.
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That was my, my life back then. I had these pictures taken and then I had a designer put
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together, you know, the logo and the image and everything else. And then I printed them on,
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uh, CD stickers. So I went to Best Buy or wherever I went, Office Max, something like that.
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And I bought a bunch of CDs and I, uh, recorded basically my first presentation to a potential
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prospect on, onto these CDs. And so I burned them onto the CDs. I printed out the labels,
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stuck the labels on the CDs, and I would hand these out to people. That was my first introduction
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to ever getting behind a microphone and sharing a message digitally like I am today. And then I
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thought, well, man, this is actually working. People were handing it around and people were coming
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in and I didn't have to sell them on why they should work with me because they had already gone
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through that. And anybody who came in or reached out to me, uh, had already known a little bit what,
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uh, what I was about. And I thought, well, okay, I'll do a podcast. You know, I like listening to
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podcasts. It sounds kind of interesting to me. And, uh, I recorded roughly 20 episodes of a podcast
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called Wealth Anatomy, which was a podcast designed to give medical professionals. So I had physicians,
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physicians, chiropractors, veterinarians, dentists, the information they needed to build wealth and
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pay off debt and secure, secure their finances. And I thought to myself, you know, no self-respecting,
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highly educated, intelligent doctor is ever going to reach out to me because they happen to hear some
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guy on a podcast. And I'll never forget it. There was a pediatric, uh, pediatric physician from,
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uh, Pennsylvania. And he reaches out to me and he says, Hey, um, he calls my office. He says, Hey,
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I need a disability insurance. And I said, okay, well, that's, you know, something we can certainly
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help you with. That's one of the things that we do. And tell me a little bit about what you're
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looking for and how I can help. And he rattles off a list to me of all of the features that he
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needed with his disability insurance. Now, I don't know about you, but most people don't know
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anything about disability insurance. So for this doctor to, uh, give me a laundry list of items
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or features that he needed within his disability insurance was, uh, was unique. It was, it was
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unique to say the least. And I asked him, I said, you know, most doctors don't really know this much
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about disability insurance. It sounds like you're pretty well versed. Have you been researching? Have
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you been shopping around? And he said, and this, this is the thing I'll never, this was a light bulb
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moment for me. He said, no, no, I just listened to your podcast about disability insurance. And I just
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wrote down everything that I needed. And, uh, so I figured I'd just give you a call and have you help
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me with it. And that to me was like a switch, like, oh my goodness, this podcasting thing actually
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works. This is a great marketing strategy. So I did the podcast, like I said, about 20, 25 episodes and
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realized fairly quickly that I love the medium of podcasting. I love doing what I'm doing now.
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I loved having the interviews. It was just a very fascinating thing for me, but I didn't want to
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continue to have that same conversation that I've been having over the past roughly, you know, nine,
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10 years at that point. So I decided along the way that I was very interested in the concept of
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masculinity. Not that I wanted to eventually build order of man or some, you know, sort of global
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organization that would help hundreds of thousands, if not millions of men across the planet,
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which is what we're doing now. That wasn't my intention. That wasn't my quote unquote passion.
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I just wanted to have good conversations with men that I admired and respected.
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And I thought, man, this would be like free coaching for me. Cause I was very interested
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in becoming a better father, a more engaged husband, obviously running my financial planning
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practice and business at the time. I was very interested in that. And I thought, man, there's
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these men that I admire and respect. I can have, I can do a podcast and interview these
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guys, but what would be in it for them? Well, I guess I could do a podcast and just broadcast
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our conversation. So it'd be like one-on-one coaching for me. I was the biggest recipient
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of this. And then in exchange, I would broadcast it to an audience that, you know, frankly,
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I didn't have at that time. I think our first podcast we ever did with, with order of man
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had, it must've had less than a hundred downloads for that, for that podcast.
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And I realized very, very quickly, I was onto something, you know, it took me six or seven
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months to start making any sort of money doing the podcast order of man podcast. That is,
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I was still doing my financial planning practice, but like I said, I wasn't searching for a passion.
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That wasn't what order of man was all about. People will think that, Oh, well, you're so
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lucky. You found this thing that you're passionate about guys. I wasn't passionate about it. It was
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just interesting to me. And it was selfish. Quite honestly, I just wanted to improve my own life.
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So I did this podcast. And again, very quickly realized we were onto something. We grew the Facebook
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group and social media accounts were growing and men were really resonating with what it is we were
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doing, which I did not fully anticipate or expect. My wife comes to me. This was about five or six
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months into the order of man journey, which at the time was just a hobby. And she said, you know,
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Ryan, I really appreciate what you're doing with order of man. It seems like you're happy and you're
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fulfilled. And it seems like it's exciting and fulfilling to you. But in all reality, you're doing
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less of your financial planning practice and more of order of man. And you know, it's detracting from
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our family household income. And she wasn't wrong. It was detracting from the income. And I, and she,
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and she said to me, I remember this vividly. She said, so I w I would think you probably either need
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to scale it back so you can focus on your financial planning practice or find a way to make some money.
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And I remember saying to her, well, I'm not, I'm not scaling this back. If anything, I'm doubling
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down again, not following my passion, just the next step. What can I do to take this to the next
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level? So I was listening to a podcast. I think it was with Pat Flynn. And I can't remember who his
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guest was, but they were talking about starting a course. And that's what I did. I started the iron
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council at that time. This was in November of 2015. So it must've been about six, seven months after we
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had launched the order of men podcast. Again, the next step, that's all it is guys. No passion here.
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Just like the next step. What do you do? So I started this, I invited, or I had 12 open spots.
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I charged a hundred dollars and we filled up those spots overnight. I had a thousand guys in our
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Facebook group, filled it up overnight. And again, light bulb moment for me. Oh my goodness. Like I can
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actually make money. It wasn't a lot of money. It was $1,200, right? But I can actually make money
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doing this another light bulb moment for me. We get about 60 days into our 90 day iron council
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program. And the guys are like, what's next? What's next? What's next? I'm like, well, I don't
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know. I guess we can just open it up indefinitely. And we got to about 80 to a hundred members very,
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very quickly when we opened it up very quickly. And not long after I ended up thinking about selling
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my financial planning practice, which was never on my radar guys. I had six figures of revenue coming
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in each and every year before I even woke up before my fit, the feet hit the ground. I had this revenue
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coming in. So I wasn't about to walk away from six figures of residual income. That was a ludicrous
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thought at the time. But as order of man continued to grow when I was making a thousand dollars a month
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and then 2000 and then 3000, I was like, Hmm, you know, this is becoming more viable again, not
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following my passion, just taking steps at a time. A lot of you guys know this story.
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We had the iron council up to about 80 to a hundred members. And I woke up one evening and I thought to
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myself, you know, and it was the middle of the night. I thought, man, wouldn't it be great if I could get
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a group of guys here locally or, or at least bring them in and we could have, you know, a three,
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four day weekend and we can do activities and we can challenge each other and push each other and
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just have the camaraderie and the accountability and have some fun. Well, I wake up the next morning
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because I had written this down that night before I went back to sleep. And I was still excited about
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it. So I started doing some research on, on getting a cabin in, in the area in Southern Utah,
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in which we were. And I found this really cool place. And I remember I called the guy up. He had
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just bought the cabin and it was perfect for what we needed. It had a big cabin and they had
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individual bunk houses and it was perfect for what we needed. So I, uh, I called the guy up,
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tell him what I'm doing and tell him I want to secure the property for the weekend. And, uh,
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I was going to put a sizable deposit down. He said, great, you know, here, here's how much it'll cost.
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And this will reserve your spot for the next couple of months. And I said, great. So here's what we're going to do.
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So I wired in the money or whatever I did at the point. And, um, we get about three weeks out from
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this event because I was all hopped up on this and not a single person had signed up, not a single
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one, no one as in nobody paid me any money. And I just remember thinking, man, what did you do?
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So I call this guy out who owns the property and said, look, I don't have anybody signed up. He's
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like, no one. I said, yeah, no one. I have nobody signed up. And he says, man, that's too bad.
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Well, you're going to lose your deposit. That was his response. I said, hold on, hold on,
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hold on. Will you work with me? Well, he had just, like I said, he had just bought the property. So
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he's trying to build it up and trying to build it into this like destination Airbnb spot. And he says,
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yeah, I'll work with you. And I said, what I'd like to do is just bump this out, you know, 60,
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90 days and, uh, you keep my deposit, but will you apply it to an event that I do in 60 to 90 days?
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And he said, yeah, you know, we're going to be in the season at that point. So it's going to be a
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little bit more expensive, but yes, I will apply your deposit towards that event. I went back to
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the drawing board. I identified our selling proposition. I learned a little bit better
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how to market this thing. And I went to work and I filled that, that second event up with 20 guys.
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We call ourselves the terrible 20. In fact, I still got a big blown up picture of the 20 guys who
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first came to our event, 19 other guys and myself. And, uh, I've got that picture in the
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barn to play on pay homage to, to the 20 guys who believed in me when they didn't have to
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guys. I didn't know it was going to go that direction. So we continue to build the iron
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council. We continue to build out this event. We do other events. And like, there's so many
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wonderful opportunities that have presented themselves over the past five years that quite
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frankly, I never would have imagined, uh, or even taken a step into if I was out there
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looking for my passion. Like I didn't know that my passion was to equip you, the men who
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are listening with the tools and resources and conversations that you need to thrive as
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husbands and fathers and leaders within your homes and communities and business owners and
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employees and all of the things that you're doing. I didn't know that was my passion.
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I didn't even know that was an option. So if I was out there searching for my passion,
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it's likely that I would have continued in my financial planning practice. Well, things got so busy
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with order of man that I eventually reached out to a friend of mine. And I said, this is a gentleman
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that I got into the business, the financial planning business at the same time as me. And I said,
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Hey, look, Greg, um, I'm really interested in selling my financial planning practice. Would you
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be interested in buying it? And he said, yes, I would be interested in buying it. And so him and I had
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multiple conversations and discussions, and we worked out the negotiations and the selling price and
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everything else. And I ended up selling my financial planning practice. And this was about two years,
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roughly, maybe a little longer into what we were doing with order of man. And since that day,
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you know, I've been full-time with order of man. People ask me that all the time. What's your,
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what's your other job? This is my only job. When people ask me what I do, I go to the convenience
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store and somebody asks, you know, I bump into somebody and they say, what do you do? And I,
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it's hard for me to answer because you know, if I say a podcaster, most people think, okay, well,
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like what's your real job. This is my real job. And since then, a lot of you guys know,
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because you've been listening for a certain amount of time. My wife and I have moved our
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children here to Maine. We bought a beautiful property. We've got a big barn attached so we
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can run our events here. Like I'm very excited about what we're doing now, guys, I don't share
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this story with you to brag about what we're doing or how my story is when I'm not sharing it for that
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reason. I'm sharing it because I want you to know that you never know what your life is going to look
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like. If you're out there just like wandering around in the forest, like wondering when your
00:19:12.060
passion is going to hit you like a ton of bricks, guys, it isn't going to work like that.
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You need to take the first step. If you're interested in, in, in becoming a musician,
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well, then you got to pick up a guitar. If you're interested in, in selling your paintings, we we've
00:19:30.860
got a guy that, that's connected with us. In fact, I met him in my financial planning practice.
00:19:34.600
His name is Trent and he's always, he's a dentist now, but he's always wanted to paint. And so he's
00:19:40.240
learned how to paint. He bought a canvas, he bought some oils and he bought a brush and he learned
00:19:44.660
self-taught how to do this. Photography, hunting, firearms training, jujitsu. Look, whatever sounds
00:19:53.380
even remotely interesting in interesting to you, you can find a way to make this work, but you have to
00:20:00.620
take a step into, into the unknown, into something that you're just even remotely curious about.
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So I'm going to reiterate with this guys. If you're, if you're saying to yourself, how do I find my
00:20:12.880
passion? How do I find something? I'm just really excited about develop it, articulate it, unpack it,
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take a step into the unknown, take a step into something you're interested in. And if you like it,
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take the second step and then the third and the fourth and the 10th and the hundredth and the
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thousandth. And if you realize along the way that, you know, I'm not as excited as I thought I would
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be about this. Okay. Well, you aren't any worse off. You explored it. And guys will say, well,
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man, I just don't want to waste all that time. There is no wasted time. Let me go back to my
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original podcast, wealth anatomy. When I was doing my financial planning practice, it'd be easy for me.
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In fact, I've had this thought, you know, I wasted all that time. You know, I wasted six months or
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whatever it was, uh, doing this podcast, 20 episodes only to throw in the towel. So I thought
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initially I thought I was a quitter. I thought it was a loser. You just wasted all that time. You
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could have been doing something else. And instead you did this and now you're just throwing in the
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towel. Guess what? It wasn't wasted time because I cut my teeth in the podcasting world with another
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podcast that wasn't nearly as successful as this one, but that's where I learned.
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That's how I learned to ask questions. That's how I got the first 20 episodes under my belt. So I
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didn't feel like a total dork and a loser as I was continuing to have conversations with people that
00:21:29.960
I really admired and respected. I remember my first conversation with Jocko Willink. That was my first
00:21:36.560
like real conversation where I was very, very nervous and very intimidated by the guests that I was having on.
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And, uh, it's still up. I don't know that I would encourage you to listen to that first episode,
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but since then we've done, uh, two or three other podcasts and they continually get better because
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I'm willing to take the next step and the next step and the next step. Now people will sometimes ask me,
00:22:01.020
Ryan, what's next? What do you envision for order of men guys? I don't know. I don't know. I know I'm
00:22:06.740
fully invested in this thing. I know this is something that's exciting to me. It's something that
00:22:10.620
engages me. Frankly, it is my passion at this point. I would have known that before, but I do now,
00:22:14.800
but I don't know. There may be some new technology or new opportunity or new thing that arises and
00:22:22.520
comes up where I'm like, that sounds interesting. I'm going to try that. I'm going to try that.
00:22:27.200
And that's what I want you to do. I don't want you to solve all of the world's problems. I don't
00:22:31.860
want you to find your passion. I don't want you to look for the heavens depart and the angels to sing
00:22:36.700
hallelujah. Hallelujah. Like I was talking about earlier, that's not what I want you to look for.
00:22:41.140
In my experience, what I found is that you can articulate and define your passion over time.
00:22:52.100
You can be passionate about what you're currently doing, whatever that is. And you can look for the
00:22:56.760
next step. So guys, I'm going to leave you with this. Don't follow your passion. It's not helpful.
00:23:02.420
It doesn't, it doesn't serve you. Instead, follow your interests, follow your curiosity.
00:23:12.700
And I think if you do that enough and you string your actions and your thoughts together enough,
00:23:17.560
and you compound it over long and sustained periods of time, you're going to look back in
00:23:21.760
four to five years as I am now with, with hope and optimism and excitement about what you've created
00:23:31.160
through repetitive steps. That's all it is. It's not leaps. It's just steps, one step,
00:23:36.780
then the next step, then the next step. And before you know it, you look back and think,
00:23:40.980
how in the world did I get here? You got here because you did the work.
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Not because you tripped upon something, not because something hits you like a ton of bricks. No,
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because you did the work. Think about that guys, ponder on that. Especially if you're like,
00:23:59.380
how do I find my passion? I hope this gives you a new way to look at it, a different perspective,
00:24:07.040
something to consider. And it serves you well. And that more of you, especially in the wake of
00:24:10.980
what we're dealing with in society right now, some of you guys are out of work. A lot of you guys are
00:24:15.200
going through divorces and separations. There's civil unrest. I mean, it's a very weird time. 2020 is weird.
00:24:20.780
But in spite of all that, it's been very good for what we've done. And I think it can be good for you.
00:24:26.580
If you take this moment to improve yourself, not to just hope that something stumbles into your lap.
00:24:34.220
All right, guys, that's all I've got. I'll be back to next week. I was going to say tomorrow,
00:24:38.320
but next week for another interview and for ask me anything.
00:24:42.040
That's the best advice I could give you on the following the passion thing.
00:24:48.040
It's not about following your passion. It's about following an interest or a curiosity and just
00:24:53.740
seeing where it takes you, having some faith that it can take you to a great place. And if it doesn't,
00:24:57.600
you pivot and that's easy enough to do. All right, guys, get out there, take action
00:25:01.880
on that one thing that you're interested in. Become a man you are meant to be.
00:25:06.060
Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
00:25:10.680
and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.