Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:24.720 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man.

00:00:32.060 I want to welcome you to this podcast. Glad you're tuning in, as you are each and every week.

00:00:36.520 And if you're new, of course, I want to welcome you to this movement to reclaim and restore masculinity.

00:00:43.000 A lot of the institutions that we once belonged to as men are dwindling and being dismantled, 1.00

00:00:48.740 and it's my job to recreate this camaraderie and brotherhood of men all working together, banded together,

00:00:54.900 whether it's digitally or in person, to be able to become the types of men that we have a desire to be in the walls of our home,

00:01:02.580 and in our communities, our business, and every other area of life that we're showing up.

00:01:06.480 So we do the interview show, which is released every Tuesday.

00:01:09.500 Of course, we also do our Wednesday show, which is an Ask Me Anything show,

00:01:12.680 where myself, if I can say that, and Kip Sorensen, my co-host, are fielding questions from you guys.

00:01:20.020 And then we do this show, your Friday Field Notes, where it's my thoughts from throughout the week.

00:01:23.680 And I've got a few quick thoughts today.

00:01:26.380 As most of you know, or a lot of you may know, I'm spending some time here in Maine.

00:01:30.860 I live here now, but we're at Origins Immersion Camp, which is a Brazilian jiu-jitsu camp,

00:01:35.320 and I'm sitting here in a quiet little room on the outskirts of the camp,

00:01:40.340 and wanted to share some thoughts with you about some things that my wife and I have been discussing

00:01:45.620 regarding leading my family, and specifically leading my kids.

00:01:49.800 So we're going to talk about why we have made the decision to homeschool our children this year.

00:01:56.160 And I know a lot of you guys may be thinking about doing that for yourself,

00:01:59.220 and I know there's a lot of you also who are already doing that,

00:02:03.520 and might have some pointers and some tips for me.

00:02:05.520 So if you do, feel free to reach out to me.

00:02:06.920 The best place to do that, by the way, is on Instagram, at Ryan Mickler.

00:02:12.380 So you can do that there, and let me know what you think about the show.

00:02:14.760 And of course, if you have any input or ideas, I'm all open to that as well.

00:02:18.260 Before I get into the meat of the discussion, I do want to mention my friends and show sponsors,

00:02:23.300 Origin Maine, and of course that's who we're out here with this week at jiu-jitsu camp.

00:02:27.640 These are guys who are bringing back American manufacturing.

00:02:31.780 So they do that in regards to geese and rash guards, but they also have denim,

00:02:38.120 and they just came out with that several months ago.

00:02:41.240 So they've got a denim lineup, and then they also have their boot lineup as well

00:02:45.580 that's coming out very, very soon.

00:02:47.360 And I know a lot of you guys got to see that I had put together a video with Origin

00:02:51.680 when I actually went and made my bison boots in their factory, which was a very cool process.

00:02:56.180 In addition to that, they do their supplemental lineup with Jocko.

00:03:00.760 It's the Joint Warfare, which I have been using extra dosage, if you will, this week

00:03:06.100 as I've done jiu-jitsu more in the last week than I have probably in the past couple of months.

00:03:11.100 And so I use the Joint Warfare, the Super Krill, the Discipline, which is their pre-workout,

00:03:15.380 and of course, Mulk, which is their protein supplement.

00:03:17.880 So go check it out, originmain.com, and use the code ORDER at checkout.

00:03:22.080 Again, originmain.com, and use the code ORDER at checkout for a discount.

00:03:26.920 All right, guys, let's talk about this decision that my wife and I made to homeschool our children.

00:03:32.940 And specifically, I want to give you five reasons that we decided to do that.

00:03:36.420 Hopefully, that'll bring some insight and perspective and potentially even clarity to

00:03:41.120 your decision as to whether or not you have your children go to private school or public school

00:03:45.880 or make the decision like we did to homeschool your children.

00:03:49.680 So there's a lot of different reasons for this.

00:03:51.560 And this, frankly, is something that we've been thinking about for the past, I would say,

00:03:55.740 four or five years leading up to this point.

00:03:58.800 We've had our children in public school, and we've had a lot of success with it.

00:04:04.820 We come from a small, tight community in southern Utah.

00:04:10.000 We know a lot of the people that we interact with, of course, there.

00:04:12.820 We know a lot of the school teachers.

00:04:14.240 I served with the principal of my children's elementary school in some callings in our community

00:04:21.500 with the young men.

00:04:22.400 So these are people that I'm deeply connected with and bonded with and with us moving here

00:04:28.520 to Maine and, of course, not having the same connections that we did when we were in Utah.

00:04:31.980 I think it kind of pushed us over the edge, if you will, with regards to making this decision

00:04:38.480 to keep our kids home and homeschool them.

00:04:41.560 I will say my biggest concern, my biggest concern is making sure that they get the social aspect.

00:04:47.900 And I know that when I was younger, it seemed to me, frankly speaking, that the homeschool

00:04:53.400 kids were kind of the weird kids.

00:04:55.120 They were socially awkward.

00:04:57.220 They really didn't have the same social IQ when it came to dealing with other individuals.

00:05:04.000 And so that is something that I'm keenly, keenly aware of.

00:05:07.720 And of all the concerns that I have regarding keeping our kids home and homeschooling them,

00:05:12.380 that, of course, is the greatest concern.

00:05:14.080 So I will say, before I get into anything here, that we have our kids very, very involved

00:05:18.740 in extracurricular activities.

00:05:21.400 So sports, jujitsu, football, gymnastics, camps.

00:05:25.640 We did a lot of summer camps this year, different sorts of instruction, whether it's swimming

00:05:29.680 instruction at the community center, a lot of different things like that, so that our

00:05:33.300 children still can get ultimately what they need regarding dealing with their peers and

00:05:38.720 other kids and other people.

00:05:40.320 And they can still develop that social intelligence, which I believe is just as important, if not

00:05:46.560 maybe more important than the actual knowledge that they're gaining, because whatever they

00:05:52.200 decide to do as they get into post-secondary education or advancing in their career, they're

00:05:58.080 always, always going to be dealing with other individuals.

00:06:00.960 So having that social intelligence is huge.

00:06:03.860 It's so important for me.

00:06:05.440 And this is something that's on my wife and I's mind.

00:06:08.100 So we are making sure that is addressed.

00:06:10.880 But let me get into why I decided, not I, we decided together that we would homeschool

00:06:17.420 our kids.

00:06:18.500 Number one is we just, we really want to be heavily involved in their lives.

00:06:23.060 I see too many people who think that it's other people's responsibility, whether it's the

00:06:27.500 school district or a teacher or a coach or whoever it may be, that it's somebody else's

00:06:32.880 responsibility to raise their kids.

00:06:35.060 And what a lot of these parents will do is they'll completely wash their hands and then 0.98

00:06:39.520 they have the audacity to wonder or even question these other individuals with regards to what

00:06:46.060 they are or are not doing in their own children's lives.

00:06:49.520 And to me, like, I'm not really willing to hand over that responsibility.

00:06:54.440 Now I will say we have in the past and we have allowed and maybe even to some degree expected

00:07:01.680 that somebody else was going to, going to do it, but I'm just not interested in that

00:07:05.760 anymore.

00:07:06.020 I want to be the one responsible for raising my children, for teaching them the way that

00:07:12.040 they should go.

00:07:12.820 And, you know, ultimately they can make their own choices and they will.

00:07:16.400 And some of that will be in alignment with what we teach them.

00:07:19.080 And some of their choices will most likely not be in alignment, but I want to be involved.

00:07:24.700 My oldest child, my son, my first son, he's 11.

00:07:28.820 And I think about it now, I really only have about seven years left with him before he's

00:07:33.540 gone.

00:07:34.680 Odds are he's going to be out chasing a career or going to school or potentially joining the

00:07:40.880 military or serving a church mission.

00:07:43.100 There's a lot of things that he's going to be doing over the next seven years and that's

00:07:45.840 not a lot of time.

00:07:47.540 I don't want to send my kids off to some, some place to have somebody else teach them

00:07:52.960 and them be there seven, eight, nine hours a day.

00:07:57.340 And I get to see them for a couple of hours tops in the morning and a couple of hours in

00:08:01.540 the evening before they go to bed.

00:08:03.260 I'm not interested in that.

00:08:04.520 So I really want to be heavily involved as does my wife.

00:08:08.020 And over the past, well, it's been what, three, four days now that she's been teaching

00:08:13.080 them.

00:08:13.440 Uh, the level of involvement has gone up and, and us being close in proximity and, and

00:08:19.700 learning from each other and teaching and just being around each other all the time has

00:08:23.600 been a very, very good thing.

00:08:25.940 And I realized that the time we have with them is finite and I want to make the most of

00:08:29.900 it.

00:08:30.180 So our involvement with our kids is, is critical.

00:08:34.560 It's paramount.

00:08:35.280 And this will give us an opportunity to do that.

00:08:37.600 In addition to that, we get to control what they learned.

00:08:40.900 Now, different States are going to have different requirements and we're not experts on this

00:08:45.780 and I don't pretend to be, or we'll even tell you that I am.

00:08:48.500 There's a lot that we're going to be learning over the next several years regarding homeschooling.

00:08:52.460 So different States have different requirements.

00:08:54.500 My wife has been researching and figuring out what the state of Maine requires, uh, in order

00:08:58.840 for us to do this.

00:09:00.380 But I want to, I want to be controlling what they learn.

00:09:03.840 Now I know there's going to be certain requirements and certain things that they're going to have to

00:09:08.180 test out of and certain topics and fields of study that they're going to have to learn.

00:09:13.460 And sure, we're going to teach them that. 0.92

00:09:14.920 But also I don't want them to be so heavily impacted by some of these ridiculous, ridiculous 0.90

00:09:21.940 ideologies and notions that just aren't founded in reality and have no business in anyone's 0.82

00:09:29.780 lives, let alone my children's.

00:09:31.440 Now I know when people hear this, some people will say, well, you know, it's good to expose

00:09:36.380 them to different information and I'm going to let you know, I'm not going to raise my

00:09:41.080 children in this, this controlled, completely controlled environment where they're bubble

00:09:46.280 wrapped and coddled and sheltered from what the world is and other ideas.

00:09:50.660 I don't think that's good either.

00:09:52.120 But I think on the spectrum, there's certainly a balance and that depends a lot on who your

00:09:57.760 children are and how open they are to learning new information and how susceptible they are

00:10:03.640 to being influenced by this information.

00:10:06.820 So we realize that it's going to be different for each child.

00:10:10.120 But again, I'm not going to expose them to information that is not what I believe is accurate

00:10:16.660 and correct and true and right and potentially even damaging to their ultimate purpose and the

00:10:25.180 way they show up in this world.

00:10:26.300 I'm not willing to do that.

00:10:27.940 I want to control what it is they learn.

00:10:30.260 And when we have these school curriculums that are implemented and put into place by a school

00:10:36.820 board or people who have no idea what your children need and no idea what your background

00:10:42.880 is and frankly, no idea what school teachers are teaching them and what their thoughts are about

00:10:48.800 some of these important issues with regards to religion and politics and gender studies

00:10:56.380 and all of these other little things that are continuing to permeate society, it's kind

00:11:02.600 of scary.

00:11:03.180 It's kind of scary when you think about what our children are these impressionable children

00:11:07.520 are being exposed to.

00:11:09.040 And you know what?

00:11:09.840 A lot of it's just not founded in reality and it's not going to serve them well.

00:11:14.540 And if they're building their educational or knowledge base on shaky ground, on something

00:11:22.440 that's not realistic or even real, they're going to have a hard time building other principles

00:11:28.040 and knowledge and information that's going to serve them and the people that they're eventually

00:11:32.160 going to go on to serve well.

00:11:33.320 So I really want to be sure that we're controlling what information they're getting and what they're

00:11:41.420 learning and then of course exposing them to new ideas and new information within a controlled

00:11:50.480 environment and sharing it in a meaningful, significant way as opposed to just throwing all this information

00:11:57.220 at them and not really helping them understand the context in which we're sharing it or exercising

00:12:02.960 some discernment in how it might apply to their life.

00:12:06.060 So that's really important is being able to control what they learn and then expose them

00:12:10.080 to new ideas and new information and new thoughts in a controlled way that's actually going to

00:12:14.460 be productive rather than destructive.

00:12:19.040 The next one is really just we have a limited time, you know, and I kind of alluded to this,

00:12:25.400 but we just have limited time with our kids and I want to be hyper, hyper involved with

00:12:31.880 them. I also believe that within the school system regarding limiting time with kids is that

00:12:36.060 our children aren't getting, aren't getting a whole lot of attention. They're, they're shoved

00:12:41.060 in classrooms that are, you know, 20, 30, 40 other students and they're not getting individualized

00:12:47.600 or catered attention. And a lot of the times they're being taught based on the lowest common

00:12:52.720 denominator. And I know even as I say that and that those words roll off my tongue, I know people are

00:12:58.380 going to be upset with the way that might come across. But frankly speaking, we have these

00:13:02.260 initiatives like no child left behind. And so what ends up happening is we pander to the lowest

00:13:07.820 common denominator, the child who maybe is the slowest learner or isn't really capable of learning

00:13:13.360 as fast as some of these other children. And so, you know, I get it. I understand it comes from noble

00:13:17.580 intentions. And of course we don't want kids to be left behind, of course, but in the same regard,

00:13:24.100 we don't want to limit the capabilities of our own children. I'm not interested in that. And I can

00:13:31.380 certainly have a level of empathy and, and, and try to figure out solutions where we can raise up

00:13:37.960 other children who may be getting left behind or may not have the same exposure or examples that,

00:13:44.360 that I have with my children or that you might have with your children, but I'm not willing to

00:13:48.120 sacrifice their education for anybody or anything else. And I want my kids to have maximum exposure

00:13:55.780 to knowledge and information and, and, and be able to utilize that in the most effective way for their

00:14:03.620 individual growth, which leads me to the next point, which is efficiency and learning. There's so many

00:14:10.000 gaps and inefficiencies in public school. And part of the reason that is, is because we have a lack of

00:14:18.580 funding for teachers and they can only be so effective when there's, you know, 30, 30 kids in

00:14:25.780 there. And so, because there's 30 children, all learning at different rates and different speeds and

00:14:31.500 qualified to learn more with one subject and less with another, they're just, there's a lot of gaps.

00:14:38.600 There's a lot of inefficiencies. And so we ship our kids off in these little yellow boxes called

00:14:43.000 school buses for eight hours a day. And it's like, what are you doing all day long? Does it really

00:14:49.480 take as long as it's taking you eight, nine hours a day to learn these specific things? Of course it

00:14:57.280 doesn't. In addition to efficiency and learning is like, what about the way that they learn? You know,

00:15:04.840 we're going to force our kids. And I think this is especially true with boys, force these young boys

00:15:09.840 to sit down, to color within the lines, to shut up, to do what they're told, to read the book.

00:15:15.160 When in all reality, you know, our kids want to go outside. They want to explore. They want to burn

00:15:20.060 ants. They want to hike. They want to see what's around them and what's available. I'll give you an

00:15:24.480 example. Just two days ago, my wife and the kids, I was here at immersion camp, but my wife and kids

00:15:30.680 were out on a hike in the morning. They go for a little walk around the property and they found a

00:15:36.460 frog and they made that frog their, their class pet. I think his name is Jean Bob. So they have this

00:15:43.140 frog and they brought it in. And I went into the house this morning and in the classroom that we

00:15:51.560 have in our house, I see all these little pictures of the life cycle of frogs and they're, they're all

00:15:58.240 coloring pictures of frogs. And it was very specific to what they had just experienced.

00:16:04.880 So there's efficiency in that. If we had to redirect that energy to geometry or history or

00:16:13.600 whatever else, and it wasn't appropriate for the moment, there's a lot of lost opportunity in those

00:16:18.500 transitionary periods because we have these curriculums and these deadlines and that need

00:16:24.080 to be met. Well, we don't have that, or at least it's not as stringent when you're homeschooling.

00:16:28.880 And so there's a lot of efficiency in what you're doing. And with our limited resources and limited

00:16:33.900 time, again, it's, it's about being able to maximize that time. And we do, you know, what,

00:16:40.080 what would take her or our kids, I should say, six, seven, eight, nine hours at school can now be

00:16:46.800 accomplished in a matter of a few hours. And then the rest of the day is, is left to explore and to

00:16:52.700 adventure and to get dirty and to interact with the environment and pick something that they want

00:16:58.360 to learn about as opposed to something that's being forced fed down their throat. So I'm not

00:17:02.200 saying that we're going to be reckless and let our kids do whatever they want, learn whatever they

00:17:06.600 want. I'm saying that we're going to be more efficient with the necessities so that we can get

00:17:11.240 into some of these extracurricular activities or the things that they are drawn to naturally a little

00:17:17.140 bit sooner and a little bit more frequently. And the last point that I want to share with you with

00:17:22.980 regards to our decision to homeschool our children is child specific learning. You know, you, if you

00:17:29.920 have kids and odds are you probably do, if you're listening to this podcast, cause you saw the title

00:17:33.920 of it, you know, as well as I do that all of your kids are different. None of our children are the

00:17:39.600 same. And it's fascinating because I'd like to think that, that I raised my kids the same and yet

00:17:46.800 they come out with their own little different personalities and little mannerisms and little

00:17:52.060 quirks. And, and like my oldest son, he is, he's tenderhearted and he's sensitive and he's aware

00:17:58.240 of what other people are experiencing and feeling around him. And then I've got my second son who,

00:18:03.400 you know, has elements of that, but he's my little killer. You know, he wants to play sports and be

00:18:08.420 aggressive and roll around and get dirty and fight. And if somebody gets in his way or gets in his

00:18:14.180 path, like he wants to destroy that individual. My, my first son's not going to be like that at

00:18:18.040 all. And then you've got my daughter who is kind of a, a pleaser, you know, she wants to make people

00:18:23.560 happy and she wants to serve other people and she wants to bake cookies and, uh, tend to your wounds.

00:18:30.240 If, you know, if I have a little cutter or scrape, she wants to tend to that scrape because she has that

00:18:34.840 level of, of empathy. And then I have my youngest child, my, my son who is our hellion, you know,

00:18:41.760 he's rowdy and wild and rebellious and rambunctious. And I love it. It's a challenge. I love it though,

00:18:48.800 but it is challenging. All of my kids are different. And if I'm teaching them the same

00:18:54.340 thing, the same information in the very same way, the odds are that, that are not good,

00:19:00.000 that they're going to receive that information in a way that's going to serve them, that they're

00:19:03.880 going to retain the information, that they're going to utilize the information or even relate

00:19:07.760 with it. So now that there's my wife and I teaching and mostly her, I don't want to take

00:19:14.160 away from, from all the work she's done. We can be specific because we know each of our

00:19:19.240 children. It's not like we have to worry about 40 kids over a course of five or six or eight

00:19:25.180 months. Like we have four kids. We know them intimately. We're very aware of how they learn.

00:19:30.680 We're very aware of their personalities and we can cater and customize, uh, educational program

00:19:36.000 based around the way that they learn, which I believe will maximize their level of potential

00:19:42.900 success. And I say potential because that's all it is right now. It's potential success.

00:19:47.020 And my job as a parent is to ensure that I line up their opportunities and give them the most amount

00:19:55.480 of opportunities. And that's why we've made this decision to homeschool our children. Now,

00:20:00.660 with that said, we, we might do it for a couple of years and realize, you know, this isn't the best

00:20:05.280 route or we don't think this is going to be conducive to their growth and experience and

00:20:09.660 learning. And we make some changes, but ultimately we wanted to give it a try. Ultimately we wanted

00:20:15.460 to see if this was a fit. We wanted to experience what this was like. We wanted to see if we could

00:20:21.720 equip them with something a little more than maybe they have in the past. And we figured as we

00:20:25.580 moved to Maine and changed everything else about our lives that we would just attempt to change

00:20:30.860 this as well. Cause that's so easy, right? Change, but it is going to be an interesting

00:20:35.780 ride. Um, I'm sure there's going to be plenty of challenges and obstacles and roadblocks and

00:20:41.200 hurdles along the way. And I'm sure we're going to grow and expand and learn just as much as our

00:20:45.680 children are. Uh, but I think it's, uh, uh, uh, an idea worth pursuing. We'll say that it's an idea

00:20:52.300 worth pursuing. And if you are considering it, I would say good for you for even contemplating it.

00:20:58.180 I think that's indicative of somebody who's being thoughtful, a parent who really has their

00:21:03.960 kids' best interest at heart. Uh, I'll tell you, I don't believe that it's going to be more

00:21:08.720 convenient necessarily than being able to take them to school and drop them off and let somebody else

00:21:15.340 teach them these things and occasionally do some homework when they get confused or don't know what

00:21:19.760 they're doing. I think that's ultimately easier, but that's not the path I'm interested in as a

00:21:24.980 father. I'm not interested in the difficult path either. I'm interested in the right path.

00:21:30.200 I'm interested in the path that's going to set my kids up for maximum opportunity. And based on what

00:21:37.040 I know, based on the conversations I've had with individuals and based on the research that we've

00:21:43.460 done, my wife and I, we feel like this is the best route. So wish us luck. We're going to give it a try.

00:21:50.060 We're going to give it a valiant effort and we're going to make the most of an incredible opportunity

00:21:55.380 to spend some time together. So again, guys, uh, not an expert. This was not intended to

00:22:01.240 come across as expert advice. I'm simply giving you this in an, this is an opinion piece.

00:22:07.700 I'm giving you some commentary, some thought process behind what we were thinking, because I know

00:22:12.480 many of you are probably thinking very similarly. So if you have experience, you've done this in the past,

00:22:19.440 please let me know. What are some pros? What are some cons? What are some things that are going

00:22:23.140 well? What resources do you have? Uh, I'll make sure that I post on Instagram and Twitter and

00:22:27.660 Facebook and everywhere else so that you can see what it is I'm doing. And then hopefully we can

00:22:32.840 start some of the conversation and dialogue there. Uh, but again, I think it's worthy of consideration

00:22:37.580 on your part, uh, whether or not you do it. I, I, I don't think that makes you a great parent or a bad

00:22:43.240 parent. I think it's all different for everybody else. And I believe that this is going to be

00:22:48.220 the right path for us. It is for now anyways. And that's something I've always been willing to do

00:22:53.740 is to explore new strategies and new opportunities and things that might work well. So again, wish us

00:23:01.380 luck on this, uh, this wild adventure that we're about to go on. Um, we think it's going to be good

00:23:06.980 and, uh, I would love to hear some feedback from you. So anyways, that's all I've got for today,

00:23:11.680 guys. I'm going to get back on the mats because we're doing a little training this afternoon,

00:23:15.400 as I have been over the past three or four days. Uh, got a great podcast lined up. I've got

00:23:20.240 Jocko Willink, the one and only joining us back on the podcast on Tuesday of next week. So make sure

00:23:25.460 you subscribe to this show so you do not miss that episode or any of the, I want to say we're close

00:23:31.420 to 500 episodes now. I should figure that out. Uh, also if you're on YouTube, I would highly,

00:23:37.140 highly suggest that you go to youtube.com slash order of man and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

00:23:42.520 Uh, the first YouTube video that we did with my new camera, I put up on Wednesday. That was the

00:23:48.640 ask me anything with Kip. And then of course, next week we'll be back with, uh, with Jocko and that's

00:23:54.480 going to be a video podcast as well as audio. So again, youtube.com slash order of man. All right,

00:24:00.400 guys, I'll let you get going. I'll get going, get out there, go take action, become the man you

00:24:05.480 are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of

00:24:10.620 your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Why We're Homeschooling Our Children ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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