Why We're Homeschooling Our Children ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
Episode Stats
Summary
In this episode, Ryan talks about why he and his wife have decided to homeschool their children, and why they made the decision to do so. He also talks about the benefits of homeschooling and why it's a good idea.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
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This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
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At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man.
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I want to welcome you to this podcast. Glad you're tuning in, as you are each and every week.
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And if you're new, of course, I want to welcome you to this movement to reclaim and restore masculinity.
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A lot of the institutions that we once belonged to as men are dwindling and being dismantled,
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and it's my job to recreate this camaraderie and brotherhood of men all working together, banded together,
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whether it's digitally or in person, to be able to become the types of men that we have a desire to be in the walls of our home,
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and in our communities, our business, and every other area of life that we're showing up.
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So we do the interview show, which is released every Tuesday.
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Of course, we also do our Wednesday show, which is an Ask Me Anything show,
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where myself, if I can say that, and Kip Sorensen, my co-host, are fielding questions from you guys.
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And then we do this show, your Friday Field Notes, where it's my thoughts from throughout the week.
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As most of you know, or a lot of you may know, I'm spending some time here in Maine.
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I live here now, but we're at Origins Immersion Camp, which is a Brazilian jiu-jitsu camp,
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and I'm sitting here in a quiet little room on the outskirts of the camp,
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and wanted to share some thoughts with you about some things that my wife and I have been discussing
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regarding leading my family, and specifically leading my kids.
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So we're going to talk about why we have made the decision to homeschool our children this year.
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And I know a lot of you guys may be thinking about doing that for yourself,
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and I know there's a lot of you also who are already doing that,
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and might have some pointers and some tips for me.
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The best place to do that, by the way, is on Instagram, at Ryan Mickler.
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So you can do that there, and let me know what you think about the show.
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And of course, if you have any input or ideas, I'm all open to that as well.
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Before I get into the meat of the discussion, I do want to mention my friends and show sponsors,
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Origin Maine, and of course that's who we're out here with this week at jiu-jitsu camp.
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These are guys who are bringing back American manufacturing.
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So they do that in regards to geese and rash guards, but they also have denim,
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and they just came out with that several months ago.
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So they've got a denim lineup, and then they also have their boot lineup as well
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And I know a lot of you guys got to see that I had put together a video with Origin
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In addition to that, they do their supplemental lineup with Jocko.
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It's the Joint Warfare, which I have been using extra dosage, if you will, this week
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as I've done jiu-jitsu more in the last week than I have probably in the past couple of months.
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And so I use the Joint Warfare, the Super Krill, the Discipline, which is their pre-workout,
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So go check it out, originmain.com, and use the code ORDER at checkout.
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All right, guys, let's talk about this decision that my wife and I made to homeschool our children.
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And specifically, I want to give you five reasons that we decided to do that.
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Hopefully, that'll bring some insight and perspective and potentially even clarity to
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your decision as to whether or not you have your children go to private school or public school
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or make the decision like we did to homeschool your children.
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So there's a lot of different reasons for this.
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And this, frankly, is something that we've been thinking about for the past, I would say,
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We've had our children in public school, and we've had a lot of success with it.
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We come from a small, tight community in southern Utah.
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We know a lot of the people that we interact with, of course, there.
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I served with the principal of my children's elementary school in some callings in our community
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So these are people that I'm deeply connected with and bonded with and with us moving here
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to Maine and, of course, not having the same connections that we did when we were in Utah.
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I think it kind of pushed us over the edge, if you will, with regards to making this decision
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I will say my biggest concern, my biggest concern is making sure that they get the social aspect.
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And I know that when I was younger, it seemed to me, frankly speaking, that the homeschool
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They really didn't have the same social IQ when it came to dealing with other individuals.
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And so that is something that I'm keenly, keenly aware of.
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And of all the concerns that I have regarding keeping our kids home and homeschooling them,
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So I will say, before I get into anything here, that we have our kids very, very involved
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So sports, jujitsu, football, gymnastics, camps.
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We did a lot of summer camps this year, different sorts of instruction, whether it's swimming
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instruction at the community center, a lot of different things like that, so that our
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children still can get ultimately what they need regarding dealing with their peers and
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And they can still develop that social intelligence, which I believe is just as important, if not
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maybe more important than the actual knowledge that they're gaining, because whatever they
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decide to do as they get into post-secondary education or advancing in their career, they're
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always, always going to be dealing with other individuals.
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And this is something that's on my wife and I's mind.
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But let me get into why I decided, not I, we decided together that we would homeschool
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Number one is we just, we really want to be heavily involved in their lives.
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I see too many people who think that it's other people's responsibility, whether it's the
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school district or a teacher or a coach or whoever it may be, that it's somebody else's
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And what a lot of these parents will do is they'll completely wash their hands and then
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they have the audacity to wonder or even question these other individuals with regards to what
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they are or are not doing in their own children's lives.
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And to me, like, I'm not really willing to hand over that responsibility.
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Now I will say we have in the past and we have allowed and maybe even to some degree expected
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that somebody else was going to, going to do it, but I'm just not interested in that
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I want to be the one responsible for raising my children, for teaching them the way that
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And, you know, ultimately they can make their own choices and they will.
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And some of that will be in alignment with what we teach them.
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And some of their choices will most likely not be in alignment, but I want to be involved.
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My oldest child, my son, my first son, he's 11.
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And I think about it now, I really only have about seven years left with him before he's
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Odds are he's going to be out chasing a career or going to school or potentially joining the
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There's a lot of things that he's going to be doing over the next seven years and that's
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I don't want to send my kids off to some, some place to have somebody else teach them
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and them be there seven, eight, nine hours a day.
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And I get to see them for a couple of hours tops in the morning and a couple of hours in
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So I really want to be heavily involved as does my wife.
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And over the past, well, it's been what, three, four days now that she's been teaching
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Uh, the level of involvement has gone up and, and us being close in proximity and, and
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learning from each other and teaching and just being around each other all the time has
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And I realized that the time we have with them is finite and I want to make the most of
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So our involvement with our kids is, is critical.
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And this will give us an opportunity to do that.
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In addition to that, we get to control what they learned.
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Now, different States are going to have different requirements and we're not experts on this
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and I don't pretend to be, or we'll even tell you that I am.
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There's a lot that we're going to be learning over the next several years regarding homeschooling.
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So different States have different requirements.
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My wife has been researching and figuring out what the state of Maine requires, uh, in order
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But I want to, I want to be controlling what they learn.
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Now I know there's going to be certain requirements and certain things that they're going to have to
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test out of and certain topics and fields of study that they're going to have to learn.
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But also I don't want them to be so heavily impacted by some of these ridiculous, ridiculous
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ideologies and notions that just aren't founded in reality and have no business in anyone's
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Now I know when people hear this, some people will say, well, you know, it's good to expose
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them to different information and I'm going to let you know, I'm not going to raise my
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children in this, this controlled, completely controlled environment where they're bubble
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wrapped and coddled and sheltered from what the world is and other ideas.
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But I think on the spectrum, there's certainly a balance and that depends a lot on who your
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children are and how open they are to learning new information and how susceptible they are
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So we realize that it's going to be different for each child.
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But again, I'm not going to expose them to information that is not what I believe is accurate
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and correct and true and right and potentially even damaging to their ultimate purpose and the
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And when we have these school curriculums that are implemented and put into place by a school
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board or people who have no idea what your children need and no idea what your background
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is and frankly, no idea what school teachers are teaching them and what their thoughts are about
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some of these important issues with regards to religion and politics and gender studies
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and all of these other little things that are continuing to permeate society, it's kind
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It's kind of scary when you think about what our children are these impressionable children
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A lot of it's just not founded in reality and it's not going to serve them well.
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And if they're building their educational or knowledge base on shaky ground, on something
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that's not realistic or even real, they're going to have a hard time building other principles
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and knowledge and information that's going to serve them and the people that they're eventually
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So I really want to be sure that we're controlling what information they're getting and what they're
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learning and then of course exposing them to new ideas and new information within a controlled
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environment and sharing it in a meaningful, significant way as opposed to just throwing all this information
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at them and not really helping them understand the context in which we're sharing it or exercising
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some discernment in how it might apply to their life.
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So that's really important is being able to control what they learn and then expose them
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to new ideas and new information and new thoughts in a controlled way that's actually going to
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The next one is really just we have a limited time, you know, and I kind of alluded to this,
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but we just have limited time with our kids and I want to be hyper, hyper involved with
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them. I also believe that within the school system regarding limiting time with kids is that
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our children aren't getting, aren't getting a whole lot of attention. They're, they're shoved
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in classrooms that are, you know, 20, 30, 40 other students and they're not getting individualized
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or catered attention. And a lot of the times they're being taught based on the lowest common
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denominator. And I know even as I say that and that those words roll off my tongue, I know people are
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going to be upset with the way that might come across. But frankly speaking, we have these
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initiatives like no child left behind. And so what ends up happening is we pander to the lowest
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common denominator, the child who maybe is the slowest learner or isn't really capable of learning
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as fast as some of these other children. And so, you know, I get it. I understand it comes from noble
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intentions. And of course we don't want kids to be left behind, of course, but in the same regard,
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we don't want to limit the capabilities of our own children. I'm not interested in that. And I can
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certainly have a level of empathy and, and, and try to figure out solutions where we can raise up
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other children who may be getting left behind or may not have the same exposure or examples that,
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that I have with my children or that you might have with your children, but I'm not willing to
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sacrifice their education for anybody or anything else. And I want my kids to have maximum exposure
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to knowledge and information and, and, and be able to utilize that in the most effective way for their
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individual growth, which leads me to the next point, which is efficiency and learning. There's so many
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gaps and inefficiencies in public school. And part of the reason that is, is because we have a lack of
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funding for teachers and they can only be so effective when there's, you know, 30, 30 kids in
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there. And so, because there's 30 children, all learning at different rates and different speeds and
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qualified to learn more with one subject and less with another, they're just, there's a lot of gaps.
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There's a lot of inefficiencies. And so we ship our kids off in these little yellow boxes called
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school buses for eight hours a day. And it's like, what are you doing all day long? Does it really
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take as long as it's taking you eight, nine hours a day to learn these specific things? Of course it
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doesn't. In addition to efficiency and learning is like, what about the way that they learn? You know,
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we're going to force our kids. And I think this is especially true with boys, force these young boys
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to sit down, to color within the lines, to shut up, to do what they're told, to read the book.
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When in all reality, you know, our kids want to go outside. They want to explore. They want to burn
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ants. They want to hike. They want to see what's around them and what's available. I'll give you an
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example. Just two days ago, my wife and the kids, I was here at immersion camp, but my wife and kids
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were out on a hike in the morning. They go for a little walk around the property and they found a
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frog and they made that frog their, their class pet. I think his name is Jean Bob. So they have this
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frog and they brought it in. And I went into the house this morning and in the classroom that we
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have in our house, I see all these little pictures of the life cycle of frogs and they're, they're all
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coloring pictures of frogs. And it was very specific to what they had just experienced.
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So there's efficiency in that. If we had to redirect that energy to geometry or history or
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whatever else, and it wasn't appropriate for the moment, there's a lot of lost opportunity in those
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transitionary periods because we have these curriculums and these deadlines and that need
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to be met. Well, we don't have that, or at least it's not as stringent when you're homeschooling.
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And so there's a lot of efficiency in what you're doing. And with our limited resources and limited
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time, again, it's, it's about being able to maximize that time. And we do, you know, what,
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what would take her or our kids, I should say, six, seven, eight, nine hours at school can now be
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accomplished in a matter of a few hours. And then the rest of the day is, is left to explore and to
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adventure and to get dirty and to interact with the environment and pick something that they want
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to learn about as opposed to something that's being forced fed down their throat. So I'm not
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saying that we're going to be reckless and let our kids do whatever they want, learn whatever they
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want. I'm saying that we're going to be more efficient with the necessities so that we can get
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into some of these extracurricular activities or the things that they are drawn to naturally a little
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bit sooner and a little bit more frequently. And the last point that I want to share with you with
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regards to our decision to homeschool our children is child specific learning. You know, you, if you
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have kids and odds are you probably do, if you're listening to this podcast, cause you saw the title
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of it, you know, as well as I do that all of your kids are different. None of our children are the
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same. And it's fascinating because I'd like to think that, that I raised my kids the same and yet
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they come out with their own little different personalities and little mannerisms and little
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quirks. And, and like my oldest son, he is, he's tenderhearted and he's sensitive and he's aware
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of what other people are experiencing and feeling around him. And then I've got my second son who,
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you know, has elements of that, but he's my little killer. You know, he wants to play sports and be
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aggressive and roll around and get dirty and fight. And if somebody gets in his way or gets in his
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path, like he wants to destroy that individual. My, my first son's not going to be like that at
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all. And then you've got my daughter who is kind of a, a pleaser, you know, she wants to make people
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happy and she wants to serve other people and she wants to bake cookies and, uh, tend to your wounds.
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If, you know, if I have a little cutter or scrape, she wants to tend to that scrape because she has that
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level of, of empathy. And then I have my youngest child, my, my son who is our hellion, you know,
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he's rowdy and wild and rebellious and rambunctious. And I love it. It's a challenge. I love it though,
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but it is challenging. All of my kids are different. And if I'm teaching them the same
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thing, the same information in the very same way, the odds are that, that are not good,
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that they're going to receive that information in a way that's going to serve them, that they're
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going to retain the information, that they're going to utilize the information or even relate
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with it. So now that there's my wife and I teaching and mostly her, I don't want to take
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away from, from all the work she's done. We can be specific because we know each of our
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children. It's not like we have to worry about 40 kids over a course of five or six or eight
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months. Like we have four kids. We know them intimately. We're very aware of how they learn.
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We're very aware of their personalities and we can cater and customize, uh, educational program
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based around the way that they learn, which I believe will maximize their level of potential
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success. And I say potential because that's all it is right now. It's potential success.
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And my job as a parent is to ensure that I line up their opportunities and give them the most amount
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of opportunities. And that's why we've made this decision to homeschool our children. Now,
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with that said, we, we might do it for a couple of years and realize, you know, this isn't the best
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route or we don't think this is going to be conducive to their growth and experience and
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learning. And we make some changes, but ultimately we wanted to give it a try. Ultimately we wanted
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to see if this was a fit. We wanted to experience what this was like. We wanted to see if we could
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equip them with something a little more than maybe they have in the past. And we figured as we
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moved to Maine and changed everything else about our lives that we would just attempt to change
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this as well. Cause that's so easy, right? Change, but it is going to be an interesting
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ride. Um, I'm sure there's going to be plenty of challenges and obstacles and roadblocks and
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hurdles along the way. And I'm sure we're going to grow and expand and learn just as much as our
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children are. Uh, but I think it's, uh, uh, uh, an idea worth pursuing. We'll say that it's an idea
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worth pursuing. And if you are considering it, I would say good for you for even contemplating it.
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I think that's indicative of somebody who's being thoughtful, a parent who really has their
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kids' best interest at heart. Uh, I'll tell you, I don't believe that it's going to be more
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convenient necessarily than being able to take them to school and drop them off and let somebody else
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teach them these things and occasionally do some homework when they get confused or don't know what
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they're doing. I think that's ultimately easier, but that's not the path I'm interested in as a
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father. I'm not interested in the difficult path either. I'm interested in the right path.
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I'm interested in the path that's going to set my kids up for maximum opportunity. And based on what
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I know, based on the conversations I've had with individuals and based on the research that we've
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done, my wife and I, we feel like this is the best route. So wish us luck. We're going to give it a try.
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We're going to give it a valiant effort and we're going to make the most of an incredible opportunity
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to spend some time together. So again, guys, uh, not an expert. This was not intended to
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come across as expert advice. I'm simply giving you this in an, this is an opinion piece.
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I'm giving you some commentary, some thought process behind what we were thinking, because I know
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many of you are probably thinking very similarly. So if you have experience, you've done this in the past,
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please let me know. What are some pros? What are some cons? What are some things that are going
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well? What resources do you have? Uh, I'll make sure that I post on Instagram and Twitter and
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Facebook and everywhere else so that you can see what it is I'm doing. And then hopefully we can
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start some of the conversation and dialogue there. Uh, but again, I think it's worthy of consideration
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on your part, uh, whether or not you do it. I, I, I don't think that makes you a great parent or a bad
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parent. I think it's all different for everybody else. And I believe that this is going to be
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the right path for us. It is for now anyways. And that's something I've always been willing to do
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is to explore new strategies and new opportunities and things that might work well. So again, wish us
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luck on this, uh, this wild adventure that we're about to go on. Um, we think it's going to be good
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and, uh, I would love to hear some feedback from you. So anyways, that's all I've got for today,
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guys. I'm going to get back on the mats because we're doing a little training this afternoon,
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as I have been over the past three or four days. Uh, got a great podcast lined up. I've got
00:23:20.240
Jocko Willink, the one and only joining us back on the podcast on Tuesday of next week. So make sure
00:23:25.460
you subscribe to this show so you do not miss that episode or any of the, I want to say we're close
00:23:31.420
to 500 episodes now. I should figure that out. Uh, also if you're on YouTube, I would highly,
00:23:37.140
highly suggest that you go to youtube.com slash order of man and subscribe to our YouTube channel.
00:23:42.520
Uh, the first YouTube video that we did with my new camera, I put up on Wednesday. That was the
00:23:48.640
ask me anything with Kip. And then of course, next week we'll be back with, uh, with Jocko and that's
00:23:54.480
going to be a video podcast as well as audio. So again, youtube.com slash order of man. All right,
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guys, I'll let you get going. I'll get going, get out there, go take action, become the man you
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are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of
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your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.