Work⧸Life Balance is a Myth, Re-Focusing Your Energy, and When Plans Go Wrong ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 4 minutes
Words per Minute
189.52522
Summary
When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, you are not easily deterred or defeated, you re a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Kip, what's up, man? Great to see you. I was hoping that we could
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connect this week, but, you know, you had church obligations. I was trying to get you out of
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teaching a lesson at church, and you're like, sorry, I have to teach at church, but I appreciate
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your priorities. I got to teach gospel doctrine. Yeah, and it was okay. It was okay. Trust me,
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I wanted to get out of it. It's just I made the commitment weeks ago, and so I was like,
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yeah, darn it. Fair enough. No, I get it, and then you just got, you're just on the men
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from your man cold, which is why I told the guys, which is why you couldn't be with us
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last week, so they're glad that you're, you know, healed, and you're out of the hospital,
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and, you know, all the things that went wrong in your life because you had this little man
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cold for 24 hours. They were really worried about you. Here's the reality. Man cold, you're
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supposed to be, you're supposed to get pampered. It didn't work, so maybe I'm over the
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man colds. They're not paying off. You just do it too often. That's the key. You just
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do it too often. Now Asia's like, all right, no, dude, you've outworn your welcome on this
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one. Yeah, too many man colds. I did tell the guys you were probably being pampered, having
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saltines, chicken noodle soup, and watching Price is Right for the entire day because isn't
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that what we did when we were kids when we had a cold or we faked a cold? Yeah. We watch
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TV. You can't select anything. You just have to watch whatever's on in the middle of the
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day. Yeah, man. Price is Right was my go-to. That and All My Children or The Time of Our Lives
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or something. Soap operas my grandma used to watch. They're so bad too. They're so bad.
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Well, hey, we got some good questions, but I want to get to a headline first, and this is
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in the news. This is everywhere right now. It's the crazy Karen who loses her mind at
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the Phillies game. You saw this, right? I think everybody's seen this at this point.
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Oh, my gosh. I mean, if you don't know, where have you been? But essentially, the gist of
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the story is that there's three or four people going for a ball that was hit, a home run that
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was hit, and a dad ran over and he grabbed the ball. The other lady almost got it, but she
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didn't. The guy grabbed it. He didn't grab it out of her hand. He didn't fight her for it.
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He just grabbed it before she did. Yeah. Yeah. And he ran back over to his family, and he
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gave it to his son, and he felt proud. His son was excited, and crazy Karen came over
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and just verbally assaulted the man. And there's three lessons that I wanted to talk about in
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this. First of all, guys, there are cameras everywhere, especially at a sports game on a
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home run. Okay, don't do crazy things in public. Don't do crazy things at all, but really just
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don't do crazy things in public because the odds of it being recorded are significantly higher than
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they've ever been throughout human history. It used to be that maybe one person saw something
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dumb you did. Now everybody will see it, especially if it's particularly dumb. The Coldplay cheating
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fiasco, this one. Then there's the guy that stabbed the woman on the bus or public transit
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just over the weekend. Cameras are everywhere, so don't be crazy. And don't be like that lady. I
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think she's a school administrator, if I understand correctly. Classic. And she since has lost her job
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based on what I've seen. No way they fired her for it? That's what it looks like because, well,
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and you got to think, like, not only that behavior, but when you lose faith of the people that you're
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trying to serve, you can't serve them anymore. And she was getting emails from students, emails from
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parents, the school districts, everything else was just bombarding her. She can't effectively do her
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job anymore. Even if they wanted to keep her around, there's no way that would happen. And I think
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that's good. Public accountability is good when you behave like a crazy Karen. So that's lesson
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number one. Lesson number two, what is with this dude? When she ran over, not only that, but even
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before that, she ran over and I don't know if you saw the way that he responded. He was like shocked
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and like held up his hands and made this scared face. Did you see that? Yeah. I'm like, what is with
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this dude? Like that, that first of all, and I don't want to judge his character. I don't, I don't
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know the man. I don't know. He seems like he's probably a pretty engaged father, but don't do
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that. Like turn around, square up if you need to, if you're shocked, but don't do that. Whatever he did
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and don't give the ball back. You were, you had every right to grab that ball. You did right. You didn't
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do anything wrong and you don't need to acquiesce to crazy Karen's verbal assault and abuse. Just
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be, have some fortitude, have some courage, go tell her to sit down, be respectful. You don't need
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to get into it with her and then just enjoy the night because what are you teaching your son?
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You're teaching him that if somebody just berates you or somebody doesn't like something that you did,
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or somebody doesn't like you, that you're the one that has to change, that you're the one has to
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sacrifice because somebody else has a problem. Now, if he had stole that ball out of her hand,
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then I think it would be like, Hey, you know what? You're right. I'm sorry. Let me give this back to
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you. But that's not what happened. He had every right to have that ball. And he taught his son
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something that I don't think he should have taught him. The third lesson is the Phillies did a phenomenal
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job to bring this kid in, to give him souvenirs, to treat him like a hero. And they recognized
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an opportunity. And some people say, well, just marketing. I don't care what it is.
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They recognized a good opportunity to serve this kid, make it right, uh, save face a little bit. Um,
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and I think that was a gesture of goodwill. So props to the Phillies for taking care of that young man
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that way. So kind of an interesting story, kind of funny, but there's a lot to be learned and unpacked
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from that story. Totally. Well, and what I love about what the Phillies did is look at the turnaround
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of how that worked out. So, I mean, this happened mid game. So camera guys talked with someone,
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announcer MC made some phone call, like there's coordination that made that happen for that boy
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to get the benefit after the game, which is super cool, right? That they rallied. And, and I think the
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other sentiment that I like about this is people are pissed off. Why? Well, maybe because there's some
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good people left, maybe there's enough people that still are like, Hey, that's not cool.
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That's not acceptable. What's rally a little bit, right? Maybe criticize this lady, but most
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importantly, like, you know, what's, what's benefit this kid a little bit. And that's, I don't know,
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like that's nice too, you know, that we're just not all passive. Yeah, I agree with that. And one
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thing I would say is the lady has more than learned her lesson, I hope at this point. So there's no
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reason to dog pile at this point, you know, totally kind of sorry for, you know what I mean?
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Like if she lost her job out of it too, that kind of sucks, right? I don't feel sorry for the
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consequences of it, but I think it'll probably be, it'll go away eventually, but there will be some
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residual fallout from it and some of it justified and some of it not. So I don't think we need to pile on
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at this point. I don't think like doxing or, or, um, threatening or anything. That's something
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that's obviously very common. I'm sure she's getting that kind of stuff. It's just unnecessary,
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uncalled for. And we all have bigger things to worry about. Let's take the lessons. Let's hold
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people accountable if they need it and then drive on with our own lives. Cause that's most important
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is what you're going to do with your life moving forward. Not what she is. Totally. Yeah. Yeah.
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Not criticizing everybody else, but yourself. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Well, let's get into some
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questions. So last week when you weren't here, Kip, I answered questions from our brotherhood,
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the iron council. Uh, and it was all based on productivity, daily scheduling, uh, productivity,
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uh, in your day, all that kind of stuff, planning, et cetera. So we had some really good questions and
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some good feedback on that episode. I think guys were really, uh, found a lot of value from the
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information there. So we're going to do a part two of that today, uh, using questions from the Facebook
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group. And then what we're going to do next week is we're going to do a new topic. So we're going to
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experiment a little bit and try different topics rather than ask me anything about anything.
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They'll be topic driven. And then we'll answer the questions within those topics. Something to try
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something that might, uh, help direct a little bit more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. All right.
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Will Luna work-life balance. I have a set schedule, but when I get home at the end of the day,
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I'm tired and I don't have any energy for the honey to-do list. I want to spend that time with my
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family. Yeah. Well, I don't believe in work-life balance because when people say that term,
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they're trying to find the perfect ratio of time spent at work versus time spent at home. And that's
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just not how life works. If I'm under a deadline, I've got to spend more time than normal at work.
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And it just is the way it is. If one of my children breaks their arm, uh, or gets suspended
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from school or name it, then maybe I've got to spend a little bit more time with, with my family
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engaged in, in family life. So I tend to look at balance as a verb rather than some destination or
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some place that we, we achieve, meaning that you're balancing and you're constantly taking in
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information from your life and making decisions about where to invest your time and energy in
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those given moments. And sure, I'd love to be home all day, every day, but I can't. And there's days
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where I would love to work more because I have work to get done, but I can't have to be at home. So we
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just have to factor those decisions and get this idea that there's some perfect balance of work and life
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that will help us achieve all of our wildest, wildest dreams. The second part of this question
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or the second thing that I wanted to address is why are you tired? Now, I don't know what kind of work
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you do. If it's manual labor, I can certainly understand being tired. Uh, if it's not manual labor, I can
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even understand being mentally and emotionally exhausted. Uh, it depending on what your work is, but you
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shouldn't be tired after an eight hour day to the point where you just want to plop on the couch and not
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really do anything. And so I have to ask, how's your health? Are you, are you in shape? Are you out
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of shape? Are you overweight? Are you not sleeping well? Are you not feeling correctly? Are you eating
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a bunch of junk and processed sugars? Are your hormones out of balance? What's your testosterone
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levels? Uh, I would take a look into all of that because I think if you were to get that dialed in,
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you'd find yourself automatically having more energy. And it is a bit counterintuitive when you think that
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maybe you should get up an hour earlier. What if that was my advice to you? You're like, what an hour
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earlier? Yeah. To go to the gym. And you might say, well, I'm going to be more tired. You will for two
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or three days. You definitely will. And then you'll adjust. Your body will make the corrections. You'll
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start losing weight. You'll, you'll feel better. Your body will heal. And then you'll have more energy
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at the end of the day. And the third element that I would say on this one is sometimes you have to,
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what I would call task stack or activity stack. There might be the, the honeydew list that you
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talked about. Maybe she wants you to fix the toilet that isn't working correctly. And so you got to go
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in there and fix the lever. I don't know how old your kids are. Bring your kids in there and show them
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how to do it. Maybe you need to change the oil or maybe you, maybe you don't know how to change the
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oil, but she wants the oil changed in the car. And so you got to take it down to Jiffy Lube or wherever
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you take it. And you take one of the kids and you sing some songs, you have some fun, you drop it off,
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you go walk down to the icy shop next door or the convenience store and you get a drink and you guys
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just have a good evening while you're waiting for your car to be fixed. Last night I was putting
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some hardware on some, some bathroom cabinets and my girlfriend and I were in there just talking.
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I was doing the work and we were in there talking and it was great. We got that done. We had a good
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conversation. And so sometimes as a man, you just have to stack things up. And if you can find ways
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to be efficient in that, I think you'll find that even something as mundane as fixing the toilet lever
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could actually be a really cool experience between you and your kids or something cool between you
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and your wife. Yeah, I love it. You know, I like Will's questions. Interesting, right? I kind of
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chuckled when I read it, right? Cause it's work-life balance. It's schedule. I don't, I can't, I don't
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have the energy to do the honey to do list. That's my time to spend it with my family. It's like, well,
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hold on. If you have energy not to do the list, you probably don't have energy to spend quality time
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with family either. Right? So the energy thing's an energy thing. And I like, Will, I love the idea
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that you use the word energy because a lot of times I realize like scheduling of what we're doing
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and trying to be productive. We'll often look at it from a time perspective, but we don't think about
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managing our energy. And so be mindful of that. One, to Ryan's point, how's your health? All that kind
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of stuff, but make sure that you're not depleted by the time you go home. Like, so what do you need
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to do to not be as exhausted at physically and or mentally exhausted at work and prioritize your
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family? Because if you don't have the energy or the mental capacity, then your priorities are off.
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And I know that sounds crazy, but that's what you need to do. Someone said this to me the other day,
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and let me know what your thoughts are on this, Ryan, but it was fascinating. I was talking,
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I was on the mats. I was talking with this, this uber successful individual. And, and I was telling
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him about, uh, we were talking about work and I'm like, yeah, you know, it'll take up a lot of time
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because, you know, for me to put my heart to it. And he goes, well, why would you put all your heart
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into it for? And I was like, well, because that's what I should do. And he's like, maybe,
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or maybe you should just do the job, but not give it your all always. And I thought that's
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interesting. Like my default is always like all in. And he's like, why would you do that?
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You got to reserve your energy. You got these other folk, like, you know what I mean? And,
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and so be disrupt that a little bit. I thought it was interesting. And I'm not saying that we don't
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put our all into it, but I'm also saying, I don't know. It's just this idea.
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Challenge your way of thinking and challenge how you're showing up at work and make sure you're
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not prioritizing all your energy on something that's less important than your family.
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So whatever that looks like, as you were saying that with, with this guy, I mean,
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he's uber successful. You said that, so he knows some things. So there's gotta be, I mean,
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he's credible, right? Automatically he's credible. Um, it got me thinking of an analogy. Imagine being
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a running back for a great football team, like, like Barry Sanders, you know, one of the greatest
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running backs of all time. Right. And you take a guy like that. And sometimes he's going to charge
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through the hole and he's going to move and he's going to, he's going to dance and he's going to
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make his move and score. And other times he's going to slow play a run like a draw or something
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like that. And he's going to wait for the hole to show itself. And then he's going to kind of move
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through that hole, read the field, and then he's going to make his move. And what it's got me thinking
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is that sometimes we, as men just work at a feverish pace because we think if we're busy,
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we're productive. But if we're working at a feverish pace and we're not doing the right things,
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then we're just going to achieve failure that much faster.
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And so I, I would, I, I think just as I heard you say that with this, this guy you were talking
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with, that there's some validity to not always feeling like you have to work at a feverish pace
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and letting things play out. Or maybe there's something going on behind the scenes that other
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people might say, Oh, he's, he's slacking. It's like, no, I'm not slacking. I'm just focused on this
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other project that you don't even know exists yet. So I think there's something to be said for that
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too. Yeah. Right. Focus of, of priority. Here's a, here's another crazy thought. It's a little bit
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of a derail, but I, I think there's some truth to this. It's a quote by Dale Carnegie. I use this
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quote a lot to illustrate why employees are disengaged at work and they feel burned out.
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I use this quote a lot to, to kind of disrupt people's thought process because at first glance,
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when you hear that, Ryan, an employee's burned out. What do you think? Their work in 60, 70 hours.
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Yeah. Yeah. They're working hours. Here's this quote by Dale Carnegie. Our fatigue is often caused not
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by work, but by worry, frustration, and resentment. And I think that's profound, man. You start thinking
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about what eats up your energy is the energy of, oh man, I had an eight hour day. I got so much done
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and I'm feeling happy about my job and my marriage that wears you out. Or is it the things that you're
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kicking the can down the road, the things you're procrastinating, the unresolved relationship that
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you haven't addressed. Those things eat up energy probably more than anything else. Right. And so
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yes, health dial in, but maybe focus on the mind a little bit. What's eating up your mental fortitude
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around worry, frustration, and resentment that might play a part as well.
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That's actually a good point because I think about how busy I like to be on vacation,
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but I'm not tired on vacation, but I'm just as active on vacation as I am during the day. I'm just
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doing different things. It's a good point. Yeah. Very interesting.
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Yeah. You feel, you feel, you're feeling better about the stuff that you're doing.
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Yeah. I'm energized. Yeah. All right, cool. What's next? Yeah. All right. Eric Searing,
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refocusing or recalibrating your goals and structure when interruptions occur?
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Well, first limit the interruptions. So figure out what type of interruptions are happening
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because you're, you're hyper inefficient during interruptions. So you have to, you have to block
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that out. You have to establish boundaries. You have to ensure that people know your code of conduct,
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so to speak, how, how, and when they can reach out to you, when they can connect with you. You also
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have to know what your temptations are. Uh, my phone's over on my, here's a great example. My phone's
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over there on the desk. It's not in front of me because if it was in front of me, it's going to
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be beeping at me. People are going to be sending texts and everything else. And then I'm going to
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be distracted from doing this. I don't want to be distracted. I want to be focused on the
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conversation Kip you and I are having and the quality of answers that we're providing to the
00:20:02.420
men who will listen. So I eliminate distractions. My environment is conducive and set up in a way that
00:20:08.200
I have minimum distractions, even when I'm doing stuff. Cause I work at home and my kids are here.
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I tell my kids, Hey guys, I'm jumping on a meeting unless it's an emergency or something's horribly
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wrong. Don't, don't interrupt. Here's dinner. Here's a couple of things you could do. Here's how
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to entertain yourselves. And when I'm done, here's what we're going to do. So look forward to that.
00:20:30.460
But I set those things up ahead of time so that I'm not distracted. But if you are, this is where
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having a plan comes in place. Most guys wing it. They really do. They get into work and they only
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then do they decide what they're going to do. And then they get that thing done. They're like, okay,
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what do I do next? Let's see. Um, well, this isn't this. No, I already have my week planned out.
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I know everything I'm going to do today. I've built in buffers. I talked about that on the podcast last
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week. I know what's going to happen tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next day I have
00:21:03.520
buffers. So if things go wrong, it's not going to completely derail my week. I know that if I can
00:21:08.020
only accomplish one or two things today and it still be a success, I'm going to do that first
00:21:11.900
because I don't know what's going to happen this afternoon. Yeah. Something, some great opportunity
00:21:17.520
might present itself. For example, if Joe Rogan said, Hey, I want you to be on the podcast at three
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o'clock this afternoon, I'm dropping everything else. I'm going to be there because that's a good
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opportunity to be there. Right. Um, or if, or if there's something even more catastrophic, you know,
00:21:34.720
one of my kids, uh, is in a car accident, you know, things like that happen too. I can't let that stuff
00:21:40.740
derail me. But when it does, if you have a plan, then you can get right back on track. So if I know,
00:21:47.420
for example, that I'm going to be checking and responding to emails and text correspondence from
00:21:52.300
noon to two, uh, and then something comes up, somebody distracts me, I still have to keep to
00:21:57.600
that noon to two schedule, but I'm not going to have to figure out what I'm going to do so I can
00:22:01.660
get back into the process quicker. If I get distracted, uh, there's other things you could
00:22:06.240
do like delegation. You can tell people, Hey, at two o'clock I'm available. So kick the can down the
00:22:11.720
road a little bit until two o'clock. That's when I'll be available for you. You don't need to make
00:22:15.800
other people's problems your priority unless it's a problem for you. And in that case,
00:22:19.760
that's where the buffers come in. Yeah. Well, and, and before I add some thoughts on Eric,
00:22:25.960
let me, let me read this question by Justin, cause it's real, it's correlates. And I want to see if
00:22:30.720
you want to add anything, uh, in addition to your response. He says, Justin Herzl says,
00:22:36.540
would like to hear your thoughts on creating a plan that encompasses daily activities that move the
00:22:41.900
needle and trying that into a long-term objective so that everything is in full alignment,
00:22:47.300
how to get back on track when the routine goes off the rails because of unforeseen circumstances,
00:22:53.320
getting clear on what you want in life so that you always have directional correctness.
00:23:01.160
Is that a question? Cause it sounds like it's pretty comprehensive.
00:23:05.560
Yeah, I think so. I mean, just your thoughts on anything you would add around. Cause I,
00:23:11.200
what I liked about what he wrote here is kind of full alignment, right? Bigger picture as part of
00:23:16.920
that. Right. So then that way, when there's disruption, you can kind of go back to and
00:23:21.900
know what the priorities are. Well, that's what, that's the exact planning model that we use in
00:23:28.400
our 12 week battle planning model. The idea that you, that first you create a vision for yourself,
00:23:35.820
either goals-based or values-based vision on how you're going to show up, what you want,
00:23:42.000
how you want to be viewed in the world, how you want to view the world and what you want your
00:23:45.140
environment around you to look like. So that's the very first thing. And coincidentally enough,
00:23:51.040
it's, it's the thing that's most overlooked. Most men just get right into work, just work. It's like,
00:23:58.540
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we'll get to work. We will, trust me. But we need to make sure that the work
00:24:03.760
we're doing is actually going to, as Justin said, move the needle in the right direction, but move the
00:24:09.620
needle towards what? If you haven't thought about what you want, what needle are you moving and where is
00:24:14.300
it moving to? What is it, what is it pointing to? Nothing. It's just spinning around in circles,
00:24:20.220
that needle on the compass, just spinning around in circles. What is it aiming at? So figure that out
00:24:26.260
first. And we have exercises for that. If you want to go to, uh, order a man.com slash battle ready,
00:24:31.680
we'll teach you those exercises on how to write your vision from your vision. You then begin to create
00:24:37.780
objectives and we cover four key areas. And I won't get into all this now just for the sake of time,
00:24:43.200
but we get into 12 week objectives in four key categories of life. What am I going to accomplish
00:24:50.680
in 12 weeks? And then once you have those objectives, then you reverse engineer into tactics.
00:24:55.920
What is going to, what do I need to do every day to ensure that I meet that objective?
00:25:01.440
And then that way, the most important things I do on a daily basis are those four things.
00:25:06.440
And when anything else comes up, I ask myself, is this in alignment with my objectives and,
00:25:13.920
or my vision? And if it's not, I'm less inclined to do it. That's not to say I won't because it may
00:25:19.180
require my attention. If I have an emergency that may not align with my vision or my objective, but it
00:25:25.340
is, for example, an important part of connection and relationships, which is one of the areas that we
00:25:31.300
cover. So everything is moving in alignment towards the type of man that I want to be.
00:25:37.100
And if I deviate from that, I can address those as long as they're worthy of addressing and then
00:25:41.640
correct it, fix it, do whatever, and then get back to my tactics for the day.
00:25:47.440
Totally. You know what, what disruptions are? The difficult ones are the ones that we create for
00:25:55.660
ourselves because of some instant dopamine hit, or we lose priority of what we should be doing
00:26:03.340
for the sake of some quick win or some other item that is outside the list of the priority,
00:26:09.700
right? Like there are disruptions, obviously, that people will bring to the table and disrupt us.
00:26:15.340
But I think especially a high caliber man, a lot of the guys in the iron council,
00:26:19.640
probably the bigger, more difficult disruptions are the things that we add, that we disrupted.
00:26:27.280
And then we start on a tangent, start going down some path because of some instant gratification,
00:26:33.160
or if I do this thing, it strokes my ego in a particular way, but it's out of alignment with
00:26:39.580
the very thing that I said was important. And so keep in mind, there's two types of disruptions,
00:26:44.700
obviously ones that people bring to the table, but be very mindful of what disruptions you're
00:26:49.320
creating for yourself that might not be in the top priority list.
00:26:55.680
Yeah. And I, and I would say even to whittle that down, maybe a little bit further, I think what
00:27:00.200
you're saying is right. And also what I've seen guys do, myself included are what I would call
00:27:04.540
noble obstacles. And a noble obstacle is something that seems noble. It seems righteous. It seems like
00:27:11.480
a good thing to do. So an example of that would be you get a phone call from a friend, maybe you've
00:27:17.500
known him for 20, 30 years. And he started up a 501c3, a really cool charity or organization that
00:27:25.120
is doing great work. And you really want to be a man who helps and sits on the board and
00:27:29.440
volunteers and contributes and gives back and gives insight. And so you say, yeah, I'll sit on your
00:27:35.000
board. I would love to do that. And then all of a sudden it takes up two, three, five hours a week
00:27:40.180
that could be spent on your business or on your family. And I'm not saying you shouldn't sit on the
00:27:45.040
board, by the way. That's not what I'm telling you. What I'm telling you is, does that align with
00:27:49.720
your mission? If your mission is to give back, well, maybe you're already sitting on a board.
00:27:53.760
Why do you need to sit on two? People say that all the time. Well, I just want to be helpful. Let
00:27:58.040
somebody else be helpful in that department. If you really want to be helpful, then double down with
00:28:02.820
the thing you're already doing. So if you already sit on a board, give them two more hours and let
00:28:07.760
somebody else sit on that board. Again, it all is based on your vision, not what I think you should
00:28:13.720
do. What did you call those, Ryan? Noble obstacles. You had a label. Noble obstacles. I like that. I
00:28:21.140
like that. And in corporate America, this happens all the time. It's funny. We'll talk about on the
00:28:26.660
business front, how often we need to create alignment between leadership and employees, right?
00:28:31.720
That there's unified focus around what we do. I actually, I used to think, oh, that's a problem.
00:28:36.680
Like we need to get people aligned. I actually don't think it's a problem. I think most employees
00:28:41.720
and most organizations are actually fully aligned. Do what's right for the customer, do quality work.
00:28:48.480
Like there's not a problem with alignment. The problem is, is all the little pet projects and all
00:28:54.720
the little things that people are implementing. Why? Because it makes them feel validated and good
00:29:00.000
about their position. It's the distractions we create in our environment that prevent us from
00:29:07.520
acting on something greater for the organization. So just, and you can see how that correlates,
00:29:13.760
obviously at the personal level. But interesting nonetheless.
00:29:17.560
Well, I've always thought that, I don't know if I've always thought this, but I think, I believe
00:29:22.440
this now is it's much more effective and efficient as your use of time and resources goes to do what
00:29:30.360
you're currently doing better than it is to do something different. And that applies to everything.
00:29:38.480
If, if, uh, you know, if, if you're at work and you've got an assignment that you need to do,
00:29:44.620
or maybe that is your department, you might say, oh, well, what if this, and we can sprinkle that
00:29:48.640
and sprinkle that dude, you're not even doing 80 to 90% of the work you could be doing at your
00:29:52.920
current thing. You want to feel valuable. I get that desire. We have guys that do this in the iron
00:29:57.940
council. I'll be like, oh, I'm going to start this new thing or this new channel in iron council.
00:30:01.860
I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. You're not even contributing to the channel that applies to
00:30:05.840
now. Do that. Well, I just want to be valuable. I want to add that. That's adding value. That's,
00:30:10.800
that's being valuable. And it doesn't consume so much of your time. Same thing with the gym.
00:30:16.660
You know, you get, get your core workout in, get your, your deadlifts, your squats, your,
00:30:20.660
your push, your press, your pull, pull-ups, bench press, and maybe a few little ancillary things there.
00:30:26.400
And that's it. You don't need the latest gadget and gizmo that isolates the one little muscle group,
00:30:32.960
unless you're doing a bodybuilding competition, it's unimportant. Diet is very much the same way.
00:30:39.840
Everybody's looking for the, the fat and the pill and the, this and the, that and the needle and the
00:30:43.560
shot and the whatever. It's like, just, just stop drinking soda. Get to 80% of what you know you
00:30:49.440
should be doing. If you're not at 80 to 90% of what you should be doing right now, don't even think
00:30:55.300
about implementing something else. Cause 80 to 90% on one thing is better than 50% on two things.
00:31:07.420
Yeah. Yeah, totally. I love it. Joe Marino, um, his ask is maybe, uh, mentioned something around
00:31:15.200
income spending trackers. Um, he says, I'm in the early stages of creating one on a Golga sheets for
00:31:21.140
tracking monthly income and spending. So thoughts around income spending trackers. Uh, just through
00:31:26.720
your bank. Uh, I, again, I don't think we need to, there's so many apps. Yeah. You could use an app.
00:31:32.340
I mean, most banks at this point, they have their own thing and it's already synced to your account
00:31:36.740
and it'll show you where all your spending is on a month. I mean, my bank has that other banks that
00:31:41.500
I've heard that guys have, have that where it ought to, it does it automatically. You already have it
00:31:46.580
probably. And so if you're looking for these types of things, just use what your bank has
00:31:51.240
because it's the easiest, it's going to get you started the fastest. It's already synced up to
00:31:56.740
your account. And that's what I would use. That's what I do use. Yeah. Christopher Hallmark, you're
00:32:04.120
going to resonate with Christopher here. Uh, do you find it beneficial in sitting down to write things
00:32:09.440
out versus scheduling and tracking things in a digital application, uh, digital application based
00:32:15.760
platform. I tend to feel more connected and focused if I write personal things down because I do so much
00:32:21.360
work on my phone. I agree. I agree. I don't, I don't think it's wrong to use a digital app. I think
00:32:29.900
some guys thrive with an app, I think, but if I have to pull out my phone and I have a to-do list and
00:32:35.400
then I have to check it off and then I have to, it's almost takes me long. It's almost longer to do
00:32:39.920
that rather than to have this just in my grill where I can just write down what I need to write down.
00:32:45.760
See what I need to see all in one easy thing. It's, it's, and it might just be familiarity.
00:32:51.580
Like I'm so good with this at this point after doing it for 10 years that this is just an easy
00:32:56.140
way to do it. But I think to his point, it is satisfying to be able to write it down. Uh, I
00:33:01.520
believe that it's going to be more ingrained into your psyche. If you do spend time writing it down
00:33:07.500
and checking off the list, I think it will feel better. So this is what I use, but if you wanted to
00:33:14.340
use it digitally, then that works too. What I do for digital is ideas. I write down my ideas digitally
00:33:21.840
because I don't have this all the time. So for example, if I'm out to dinner, I don't, I'm not a
00:33:27.540
psycho. I don't have my battle planner in my pocket if I'm out to dinner, cause I'm enjoying dinner with
00:33:31.700
people I love, but I do have my phone. And so when it's appropriate, I might just pull out my phone
00:33:37.680
and say, Oh, that was interesting. You know, the server said something and it made me think about the
00:33:42.280
way that we ought to show up for other people. And so I'll write that down. And I have a very
00:33:46.300
elaborate, I'm actually using it right now because I take notes for our ask me anything in this system,
00:33:52.240
but I, I just use notes on my iPhone. It's not a paid app. It's not anything fancy. I just have
00:33:58.720
it organized in a way that's conducive to what I'm trying to accomplish. So if I want to go in here
00:34:03.740
and I want to, um, record a Friday field notes for this week, I can come in here. I've got,
00:34:09.120
I would say just right off the cuff, 20 topics that are somewhat fleshed out that I can just pull
00:34:16.580
one of these topics and address any one of these in a matter of a few minutes. Cause I've got it
00:34:23.020
very well organized here. Yeah. Perfect segue Gabriel Lord. Um, what tools do you recommend?
00:34:30.860
So I think he's just looking for tools that we use any other tools that you'd add to that.
00:34:35.560
He mentions AI project trackers, Trello, et cetera, right? I'm a simple man. And, and I've just found
00:34:44.260
that the more simple or the less complicated, however you want to look at it, the better it's
00:34:50.260
going to be. I think people overthink it. I think they over plan. I think they overstructure
00:34:58.020
and I think it leads to inefficiencies and ineffectiveness. I do. Yeah. I don't need 17
00:35:05.220
apps. Here's what I use. I use this battle planner that I'm holding. So it's a physical battle planner.
00:35:11.500
I use notes on my phone that I just told you. And some of my topics here are Friday field notes,
00:35:17.300
book notes. So if I'm reading a book, I'll put notes in there, ask me anything notes,
00:35:21.720
notes. Um, notes. When I do podcasts, I have podcast guest list notes, um, projects,
00:35:29.160
social media content, things that I want to post on social media. Um, and, and, and a,
00:35:33.700
and a bunch of other things as well, new ideas, things like that. And then I use Google calendar.
00:35:39.120
Yeah. And that's it. I think that's, that's the things that I'd recommend to Gabriel is like
00:35:44.440
whatever you're using, like centralize it. If you can, you know, obviously I'm assuming your Google
00:35:49.040
calendar is like all encompassing, right? It's not like separated, like order, man, versus,
00:35:54.300
versus personal, right? Like my calendar is my calendar. It's Kip Sorensen's calendar,
00:35:59.560
right? And so it's chaos. Um, I share that with my wife. Yeah. Yeah. She'll send me invites to get
00:36:07.560
things on my calendar, just like anyone else. So I schedule personal life, just like I'd schedule
00:36:14.260
meetings. So, so I have a standardized process around my scheduling. Um, personally, I use,
00:36:21.180
I use what integrates well with work. So if, if we weren't on a Microsoft platform, I'd probably use
00:36:28.600
a different tool. Why? Because I don't want two different tools, right? So for me, Microsoft has a
00:36:34.120
tool called Microsoft to do, and it aggregates any assigned tasks to me across the entire ecosystem.
00:36:40.840
So I can see everything that's ever been assigned to me at one point on my phone or on my PC browser,
00:36:47.720
whatever. So, right. So that's tool number one from a, from a tracking perspective. And then the
00:36:52.540
other tool I use kind of like your similar notes is, uh, an app called one note. And it's great.
00:36:58.560
Cause it's, I use it on my phone. I use it on my PC. It's synced. I have a notebook has sections,
00:37:04.300
has pages. And I, I use it the same way. Idea enters my mind. I go, ah, you know, plop it,
00:37:11.080
whether I'm on my phone or my PC document it. And then if I need to reference it, I have a central
00:37:16.840
location to get to it. For me, the key thing is, and this is coming from someone that's a
00:37:22.000
technologist, right? Like my, I've made my living for the last 20 plus years in the space of technology,
00:37:27.640
right? So if anybody should be pitching tech as a solution, it should be me, right? Tech's not a
00:37:34.300
solution. It automates and amplifies what's there. So whatever it is, have a system, a process
00:37:45.540
and, and utilize technology to help it. But if you can't do it with sticky notes, if you can't do it
00:37:52.080
with the battle planner, it doesn't matter. Right. And that's kind of the, the recommendation I would
00:37:57.740
have is, is have a good process in place. And then if you find some tech that works great, awesome,
00:38:03.380
but don't think tech is the solution. You don't need tech. You could do it with sticky notes and be
00:38:09.040
highly productive. Yeah. And I would argue you're not a tech guy. I would argue you're an efficiency
00:38:14.640
and effectiveness guy. I'm a realist. I mean, that's truly. And so you're looking for tools that are
00:38:21.560
going to be effective, effective and efficient. And if tech happens to be it, then you're going
00:38:25.420
to utilize the tech to do it. And if it's not, then, then you won't. Um, a couple of other things
00:38:29.760
that I use is, well, so on calendars, I have calendars for everything. My kids sports goes on
00:38:36.360
its separate calendar, but it's all aggregated into my, my Google calendar, right? Work. Um, I even have
00:38:43.300
a call list calendar. So there's people, I've got a couple of calls to make this afternoon when I'm on
00:38:47.320
the road and I have, I have a list of three or four guys that I need to call and that's in purple and
00:38:52.520
they're just little 15 minute time blocked window. And I just know, okay, boom, boom, boom. I got to
00:38:57.420
call those three people. Good. Done. Um, reading is something that I've actually changed over the past,
00:39:03.580
I would say six months to a year. And I do a lot more listening than I do reading because I'm busy
00:39:10.180
and listening is effective. I can do 1.7 times speed or 1.5, depending on who's narrating it.
00:39:17.880
And I can get through a lot of information very quickly. And I, and I like, and I'm on the road.
00:39:23.480
So I like that that works out pretty well for me. But you know, the thing I was thinking of when you
00:39:28.560
were talking about tech and efficiency is again, to use an analogy of a football team, because I like,
00:39:33.640
I like analogies. They help me grasp it better is, you know, you could have the trickiest play in the
00:39:38.740
world. It could be so clever and beautifully crafted and it could look really cool on the
00:39:43.720
whiteboard with the X's and O's and everybody's got their assignments. But if you can't run the
00:39:48.320
damn play, it isn't really that beautiful. And I've found that the best teams, they usually have
00:39:54.740
about 10 to 15 plays. That's it. And they have variations of those plays. So they have a left and
00:40:01.520
the right side. They have, you know, the two hole, the four hole, the six hole. So that turns one play
00:40:06.060
into three, but one play is actually six plays because you have the two, the four is at six,
00:40:10.600
and then the one, the three, the five hole. And so now you have three plays on each side based on
00:40:14.620
one play. And, and that's simple. That's effective. I think I remember years ago when Peyton Manning was
00:40:21.860
still playing. I think he, it might've been in the Superbowl, but somebody who was being interviewed
00:40:26.940
and they were going, Oh no, it was Tom Brady. And, and somebody said, do you, do you feel like your
00:40:33.680
defense is going to do well against Tom Brady? And the guy said something like, you know, our
00:40:37.920
defense is solid. We've studied film and we've done this and we've done that. But at the end of
00:40:41.420
the day, it's Tom Brady and we still have to stop him. We, he could tell us the play and it would
00:40:45.880
still be potent against any defense in the NFL because he's so good at basic fundamental things
00:40:52.780
that even if you knew the play, it would still be hard to stop.
00:40:56.140
Yeah. I mean, I can't help but make the correlation, you know, jujitsu, how many hundreds
00:41:04.320
of types of submissions there are. There's tons, right? There's so many fancy moves, top submission,
00:41:10.060
rear naked choke. Number two, arm bar. Number three, triangle. Number four, Kimora.
00:41:17.620
White belts know all those, but still it's the fundamental submissions that everyone catches
00:41:24.300
in a tournament. It's not the fancy one. And you know, what's, what else is funny about that
00:41:29.640
Kip is just based on our, our level, my level of jujitsu versus yours, we could sit down on the
00:41:36.160
mat and we could say, all right, we're going to, we're going to roll for three minutes. And you could
00:41:39.700
say, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to do this. Then I'm going to take your back,
00:41:46.780
but then I'm going to let it go just because I want to toy around with you a little bit.
00:41:50.100
And instead of choking you, I'm going to push your head down. I'm going to grab your arm and
00:41:54.040
I'm going to arm bar you face down. But you, you could tell me that. And based on our level of
00:42:01.400
skill, you'd probably be accurate about 95 plus percent of the time. And the only other time would
00:42:08.520
be like some little fluke, but 95% of the time you could probably execute that against somebody of
00:42:14.520
my caliber. And that just goes to show you that if you know your system well enough,
00:42:19.820
you're unstoppable. And that goes back to our lack of focus, being distracted, know the play,
00:42:27.120
know the route, get so good at it that nothing is going to deter you from accomplishing it.
00:42:34.240
Totally. I love it. All right. Richard, Richard Dennison, he has a good one here. How to best
00:42:40.140
incorporate and do a brief weekly family meeting so as to align with setting personal goals?
00:42:49.140
Well, the thing I would say on family meetings is really it's, it's age dependent. Um, if you treat
00:42:55.360
your kids like you, then you're going to lose them. You really are. So try not to based on their ages,
00:43:02.400
make it so elaborate that they dread doing family meeting with you every time. Try to infuse some
00:43:08.200
energy, some life and some fun. So it might, you might talk about, Hey, what are your goals?
00:43:14.280
What are your goals this week, guys? It's Sunday night. We're going to sit down for an hour and we're
00:43:18.760
just going to talk about two things you want to get done this week. And maybe that's all the family
00:43:23.180
meeting is. And everybody goes around and they say, I want to do this and this, I want to do this and
00:43:26.780
this. And you just go through them family and you tell everybody what your goals are and everybody
00:43:30.840
writes it down and you slap it on the refrigerator. And then Monday night when you're having dinner,
00:43:36.240
it's like, Hey, you know, Billy, you said that you wanted to, um, make the, the football team.
00:43:44.720
And so how did you, you have to lift and you have to run and you have to be conditioned. So how did
00:43:49.560
that go today? What'd you do today? I think it could be as simple as that. And then maybe it's a
00:43:55.460
lesson, you know, maybe at the end you give a little bit of a lesson that you think is important. I
00:43:59.800
wouldn't make it a half hour lesson. I'd make it a three minute lesson. And then after that,
00:44:04.340
everybody goes and gets ice cream Sunday night and we go out together and we don't talk about
00:44:08.100
the goals. We just go out and have fun now. And I think if you do that, you're going to have a,
00:44:13.920
I wouldn't even call it a family meeting because then it brings formality to it. It's like, Oh God,
00:44:20.160
dad is family meeting again. Freaking family meeting. Yeah. Yeah. So I would just infuse a lot
00:44:26.300
more fun than you initially think you ought to. And again, it's age dependent, but that's what I would
00:44:31.100
do. Yeah. Here's an idea. And I might, I might steal this idea actually. Cause I'm like, I'm kind
00:44:37.680
of digging this, you know, let me run this by you, Ryan. Um, in, in the dev space, software engineers,
00:44:43.340
uh, this idea of a daily standup, super common and we call them daily standups, um, in agile software
00:44:53.000
development. And the idea is that you're standing up, you're not sitting down. So it's supposed to be
00:44:56.540
rapid fire. And it's the standup of what are you working on today in the software that you're
00:45:02.400
developing as a team. So then that way we all understand where we're at in the code. And if
00:45:08.760
there's any potential blockers on what you plan to get done today, that's the whole intent. Got it.
00:45:14.400
Um, I do standups, even though I don't run a software development team anymore, we still do
00:45:18.400
standups and our standup is what do you got today? And anything I need to be aware of anything you need
00:45:24.600
support for me and any issues so we can unblock each other. And it might be a really fast, like,
00:45:30.980
no, I'm working on this. I'm solid. No, nothing. Or I might be like, Hey, I'm doing this. Hey, I need
00:45:35.860
this from you, Ryan, or I needed some clarity for me to progress on this thing that I need to get done
00:45:41.500
today. And that's it. And then we wrap up the call. Right. And right now I'm like thinking, Hey man,
00:45:47.140
I'm thinking daily standup before we go off to school. What do we got today? Right. We're all
00:45:52.560
buttoned up on schedules. No issues. We're all clear. Any concerns that you guys have break.
00:45:58.800
Yeah. Might be something fun. I like, I like it. I think if you can make it fun and playful,
00:46:04.100
if you could add again, fun rules, like put a timer to it, you know, it's like you have,
00:46:10.540
you have 15 seconds, you have to stop talking after 15 seconds. So I don't care if you're mid
00:46:17.060
sentence or whatever, or, you know, maybe some days you mix it up. Maybe, maybe one person comes
00:46:24.220
up with a theme of whatever that standup is. And everybody has to focus on the theme or maybe on
00:46:31.500
Thursday mornings, it's like joke, joke, joke, Thursday mornings, where everybody just comes
00:46:36.700
with their favorite joke. And that's what it is. It's just a joke. It's not, here's what I'm doing
00:46:40.880
today. Here's it's just a joke. That's it. And everybody makes each other laugh. And then it's
00:46:44.960
like, good break, go. I think things like that, mixing it up will add a lot of value to something
00:46:51.000
like this. All right. Ty Sherwood, is it better to plan a week ahead or the night before or the same
00:46:58.820
day? Two of three, a week ahead and the night before. Yeah. And the night before is just a check
00:47:08.200
in, right? That's all it is. It's like, because things change, right? If I plan, and I know with about
00:47:14.020
80% surety, what I'm going to be doing through this week, I already know all, most of my appointments
00:47:20.440
are booked. Most of my schedule is set. I already know what I need to accomplish this week. It's
00:47:26.640
already done. And so I have that week already planned out because of Google calendar and everything
00:47:30.900
else. And then every night I just recap, okay, what did I get done today? That's done, that's done,
00:47:36.500
and that's done, but I still have this. Oh, that one thing came up. You know what? I need to plug
00:47:40.340
that in tomorrow. I didn't anticipate that, but I'm going to plug that in, plug that into the thing
00:47:45.040
and make your adjustments. So having a daily check-in and I would do it after, because I think
00:47:51.540
if you do it after it's fresh, like, okay, I don't have to remember anything that happened the day
00:47:56.300
before. It's really fresh in your mind. And it also tees you up for the next day. I have found that
00:48:01.840
when I know what I'm going to do the next day, I'm much more enthusiastic and energetic about what the
00:48:07.320
day holds. But if I don't know, I'm lethargic, I'm lazy, I kind of drag my feet, I get distracted
00:48:14.800
easily, and I'm much less productive if I haven't thought about it the night before.
00:48:20.140
Totally. And you can kind of, there's an, I don't know what it is. There's like a sense of
00:48:23.840
gamifying to it. That's kind of fun. I mean, I knew this morning because I made this list last night,
00:48:30.380
the four critical things that must happen today. Like unconditional, I have to get these four things
00:48:37.940
done. I found myself, I knew this podcast, we're going to be recording at 10 a.m. And around nine,
00:48:45.460
I was like, hmm, I'm going to try to get two of the four done before 10 a.m. Yeah. And guess what?
00:48:53.200
I got them done. It wasn't a big deal. I time box it. I'm like, bam, bam, bam. I'm feeling great.
00:48:57.920
And it's 10 a.m. Right? I'm already tack, like the day's almost already a success,
00:49:03.580
right? Because I, I, I gamified it a little bit by identifying these top critical issues the night
00:49:09.140
before. And, and I was able to execute and be super intentional when I started my day this morning.
00:49:16.280
Kip, I actually had the same thing to give you another example, just to prove the point of what
00:49:21.020
you're talking about. I knew that I had to do a little podcast prep work for the podcast that's
00:49:26.120
being released tomorrow. I needed to record a few things and get it to my editor and around nine
00:49:30.700
30, cause I was doing other things. So at nine 30, I'm like, okay, I have a half an hour before
00:49:34.500
Kip and I have this conversation. I think between nine 30 and 10, I can write out what I need to say
00:49:41.720
and I'll do that. And so at nine 30, I started, I wrote it out and it took me like 11 minutes.
00:49:49.140
I'm like, okay, I still have 19 minutes. It takes me about 10 minutes to record that.
00:49:53.660
So I'm like, well, I'll just record it really quick. I was planning on recording that after
00:49:58.340
this podcast, Kip. Well, guess what? I already did it. I wrote the thing. I recorded already.
00:50:04.240
And then I have a meeting at noon. So that's about an hour away from, from now. And I gave myself
00:50:10.260
an hour to prep for that meeting. Well, I don't think I'm going to need an hour because I already
00:50:15.920
freed up some of that time. And so now I, now I have an extra half an hour that I captured and I can go
00:50:21.400
through. And I think in 30 minutes that I just freed up, I can hammer out probably 20 or so emails
00:50:27.480
that I need to get done before I get prepped for my meeting. And my meeting prep might really only
00:50:32.820
take me 15 to 20 minutes. So I've already captured about 45 minutes of my day, not to dink around and
00:50:42.560
doom scroll on social media to do my next thing. So that when I'm done at the end of the day,
00:50:48.800
I feel really proud of what I accomplished. And I can to the, I think the first person asked about
00:50:54.900
work-life balance, I can go be present in my personal life without having to worry about all
00:51:00.440
the things I didn't do today, because that's not the case. I got it all done today. I already am.
00:51:05.680
And you are too, it sounds like. Yeah. So last question from Greg Lewis, and we've kind of addressed
00:51:12.520
Greg's question, but there's an element of this, Ryan, that I want to talk about kind of like the
00:51:16.880
mental side of this. So kind of listen to this question from a, from a mindset perspective. He
00:51:21.940
says, we know that we know the same when man makes a plan, God laughs. I know for me, when plans go off
00:51:29.700
the rails, so do I emotionally, physical, even spiritual resolve weakens and sometimes dies out.
00:51:38.020
So let's talk about the mental state of when things go awry. And then we've, you know,
00:51:45.120
have a tendency sometimes us men to throw our hands up, right? It's like, ah, you know, and then we stop
00:51:51.040
executing the plan because the expectations and other things.
00:51:57.280
So I would say this, I'm writing some notes down here because these frameworks help me. So the
00:52:03.500
framework, and I just thought of this, and so I'm going to be thinking out loud a little bit.
00:52:08.080
The framework is this, anticipate and recalibrate. If you do those two things and I'll have to come
00:52:17.680
up with another word. So it kind of has some alliteration in there, but anticipate, recalibrate.
00:52:23.140
So anticipate that things are going to go wrong. They just are. And if you can anticipate even what
00:52:28.800
those might be, then you'll be even more prepared. So Kip, you and I block out 90 minute segments for
00:52:35.320
hour long meetings. I know that. So right now it's 1105. We usually get wrapped up at 11,
00:52:41.540
but if we go over, it's not really a big deal because we still have that. We, we still have 25
00:52:49.520
minutes if we need it. We're not going to take that, but we still have it if we need it. So we block out
00:52:53.840
those 90 days. It's anticipating what might go wrong or what might get us off track. Recalibrate is
00:52:59.920
knowing that as soon as it gets off the rails, okay, stop. Don't just go into panic mode. Don't
00:53:07.520
just start randomly doing any things. It's recalibration. You need to stop. It's like having
00:53:12.880
a big piece of machinery at a plant manufacturing facility. And all of a sudden that machine,
00:53:21.140
it starts skewing the product. The product's off a little bit. Something's happening. Maybe things
00:53:27.180
aren't aligning or it's breaking down or whatever. What do you, you don't just turn it up. You don't
00:53:33.400
just go say, Oh, it's not working. Let's make the machine go faster. Make more widgets. Yeah.
00:53:38.740
You say, Oh, shut it down. Shut it down. That's the first thing you do. Shut it, shut it down.
00:53:44.100
And then you shut it down and you start to recalibrate. You'd run some tests. You figure
00:53:49.500
out where the breakdown in the system was, and then you figure out where it was. And then you just
00:53:54.160
recalibrate it. You're like, Oh, it was just off. I need to adjust left and up three or whatever you
00:53:59.260
make your recalibration and then you activate. I guess that's maybe the last one. So that was
00:54:04.140
pretty good on the fly, right? Activate. So that's pretty good. So you've got anticipate,
00:54:08.840
recalibrate and activate. So once you've recalibrated and you know, now, what does that
00:54:14.260
look like? Reprioritize, right? This went wrong. What do I need to get back on track with? What do I put
00:54:18.860
in order? Change this, put this up here. This is going down here. Gosh, I'm going to have to bump that to
00:54:23.300
Thursday. And now you activate, you get back to work based on your recalibration.
00:54:28.740
Yeah. And I, and I would say most people don't recalibrate because they hold on to the expectation
00:54:36.580
of what should be. And well, I shouldn't have to. And, and then they'll just rant.
00:54:43.340
Complain. Yeah. And then they're just like, Oh, well, I shouldn't, I shouldn't have to deal with
00:54:48.300
this. And it's like, okay, got it, but you need to. So what are you going to do and move to action?
00:54:55.740
But we get stuck in our expectations when they're not met and you need to let it go. And I think
00:55:02.800
that's why I like the anticipate because there's two elements to the anticipate one margin and reducing
00:55:10.380
risk of what might potentially happen. But it's also gives you the mindset that something might go
00:55:16.340
wrong and that's okay. And when it does, we just learn from it. We pivot and we grow and we continue
00:55:23.880
taking action. We don't just get mad at it. Right. And sit with it. We move beyond that.
00:55:32.220
You know, I, I, I just want to throw a little bit of a different thought when you said most people
00:55:38.320
don't recalibrate. And then, and then you said you have to, it has to get done. I'm just going to
00:55:43.380
throw a little bit of a different thought. You actually don't have to. That's true. You're not
00:55:48.600
obligated to do. You can. And most people do. And then the same stuff keeps happening and it keeps
00:55:55.360
breaking down. And, and when you say you have to do it, like you have to get it done. I think there's
00:56:00.420
a little bit of loss of autonomy. There's a little bit of a loss of authority of over your own life.
00:56:06.140
And now it's a sense of obligation as, as opposed to a sense of choice.
00:56:13.600
Yeah. And so you don't have to do that. You don't need to do that, but you get the opportunity to do
00:56:20.320
it. You should do it. You should want to do it. And what I think that little mindset shift does
00:56:25.180
is it gives you power. It says, I'm in control of this. I actually do have more control over the
00:56:33.060
thing, not working, the system breaking down, the distractions that come into my life. And if you
00:56:38.080
have power over it, you have the power to do something about it. And I think choice is huge
00:56:46.160
for guys. If you're choosing, you don't have to go to the gym, but you choose to, you don't have to
00:56:52.680
put down that double bacon cheeseburger that you really want, but you chose to do that. And that's
00:56:57.740
empowering. Totally. Well, and what's great about it, Ryan is, is how much different do we show up
00:57:05.020
in those examples when it's out of choice versus I have to like grab the guy that feels like he has
00:57:14.160
to go to the gym because his wife will berate him or his doctors, you know, like, uh, blah, blah,
00:57:22.200
I have to do it. Compare his workout to the guy of I'm choosing to drastic difference, drastic
00:57:31.300
difference. Can I share something? I know this sounds, this, it relates to this. And, and I wrote
00:57:38.240
this down yesterday. I was, I was sitting at church and, and I wrote this down and it, and it resonates,
00:57:46.460
or at least it really connects to this idea of, of choice when, and it's, it's around repentance.
00:57:53.900
So it's a little bit of a shift here, but when repentance is approached without learning,
00:57:59.660
it evolves, it devolves into mere compliance. We check boxes, we avoid certain behavior,
00:58:08.100
we meet minimum standards, but we miss the transformation. True repentance is not about
00:58:14.860
compliance. It's about growth without learning from sin, allowing the spirit to teach us and
00:58:21.800
turning to Christ for change. Repentance stalls. It becomes shallow rule keeping instead of the deep
00:58:28.660
conversion that lifts us towards holiness. You can grab that same concept and apply to everything
00:58:36.220
as you're going to the gym compliance, or is it rooted in choice in learning and growth and
00:58:43.200
opportunity? Or are you just trying to be compliant to keep the peace, right? In these other areas of
00:58:50.040
our lives, whether it's our jobs, going to the gym, our spiritual beliefs. I mean, it, I think it's
00:58:57.300
transcended and changes how we show up in this world and the growth that's available to us.
00:59:03.640
Well, and you know, Kip, we're talking about choosing to do all the things that you want to do,
00:59:07.580
but I also think there's another angle too. And I love the quote that you shared.
00:59:11.380
You also have a choice as to what you don't do.
00:59:16.140
Yeah. So you can choose not to engage in behavior that you know is not conducive to your growth.
00:59:21.420
You can choose not to sit on that board. You're not obligated to, you can choose that because that
00:59:26.300
leaves you the opportunity to choose something different. That's more in alignment with what
00:59:30.120
you're after. You have complete control over your life. And even if you don't have control over every
00:59:36.160
aspect of your life, this is something that I learned from Viktor Frankl and Man's Search for
00:59:40.140
Meaning, you still have control over how you respond to the circumstances you find yourself in.
00:59:46.380
You know, we, contrary to popular belief, we are confronted with all sorts of experiences and
00:59:52.460
conversations and relationships that are beyond our control, but still impact us deeply.
00:59:59.060
And it's your decision to respond appropriately that I think spells the difference between whether or
01:00:06.680
not that's going to be something potentially catastrophic in your life or something that
01:00:14.280
Yeah, absolutely. Love it, man. I mean, we filled questions from Facebook. Obviously, I think that's
01:00:20.380
a good call out, you know, join us there on Facebook. If you guys have it, that's facebook.com
01:00:25.020
slash group slash order of man. Ryan, I should, I, we should have confirmed this right before we hit
01:00:31.200
record. What's our enrollment in the IC? Well, so we're doing, it's September 15th. We're doing
01:00:39.320
something a little bit different. And what we're doing this iteration is on September 15th. When you
01:00:45.660
join us in the iron council, we don't just throw you to the wolves. We never did that anyways, but I'm
01:00:49.640
just using that terminology. We don't just throw you in the mix and say, figure it out. Good luck.
01:00:54.060
And I feel like maybe we were kind of doing that. And I've seen a lot of other groups that have
01:00:58.760
popped up where they're like, here, just do this thing. And it's, it's just not real conducive to
01:01:04.000
what I really wanted to create for these guys. So we're doing it differently. What we're going to do
01:01:08.020
is when anybody joins the iron council, they are going to get teamed up with what we call an iron
01:01:13.660
council coach Kip. And you're heading up the iron council coaches. You're putting together the
01:01:18.400
curriculum and the training and the, um, and the, the, everything that goes behind it.
01:01:23.600
It's kind of the guide around it. Yeah. Yeah. So when, when you join the iron council,
01:01:28.020
you're going to get a message and an email, and it's going to introduce you to the systems that we
01:01:33.020
use, but then it's also going to get you in touch with your coach and your coach is going to work you
01:01:37.980
through the foundational process of the iron council and get you onto a team of a small group of team,
01:01:44.400
excuse me, a small team of men who are going to help hold you accountable, help you identify goals,
01:01:51.580
keep you on track towards those goals, push you, hold your feet to the fire, celebrate when you
01:01:56.720
achieve, sit with you when things go South. It's pretty incredible when you get yourself on a team,
01:02:02.740
but there's a process to get there. And we know exactly what it is because we've been doing this for
01:02:06.960
10 years and we have over 10,000 men who have gone through this program and we want to make sure
01:02:12.020
it's as effective as possible. So you can signed up, um, September 15th, or if you want to skip the
01:02:18.260
line and do it early, I just got three emails on Friday because they listened to the Friday field
01:02:22.440
notes. If you're ready to get going and be assigned the one-to-one coach, then just email me
01:02:28.660
ryan at order of man.com and put coaching in a subject line. If you do that, then I will allow you
01:02:36.640
to skip the line before September 15th, get you assigned to a coach immediately and get you off to the races.
01:02:42.020
As soon as possible. Love it. Love it. So such a great example of how things work.
01:02:51.720
How do you mean? Like, and you're, well, you want something, guess what you do?
01:02:57.840
You don't wait and hope. Yeah. You shoot off an email and you say, Hey, here's an exception. I want
01:03:03.240
to be in. This is why I'm willing to commit. Put me in coach. Right. You ask to be put in the game.
01:03:09.100
Yeah. You don't wait. Right. And those are the kind of caliber of guys that are usually attracted
01:03:15.460
to the iron council. Um, and what we probably preach, I think fairly well in the IC is be
01:03:22.080
assertive. Right. And, and, and, and move to action. That's great. Definitely. Well, cool,
01:03:28.600
brother. I appreciate you again, guys head to order of man.com slash iron council. Really good
01:03:32.500
questions. Uh, next week we're going to do a different topic. We don't know what it is quite
01:03:35.980
yet, but it might be around the world of money. So make sure you're subscribed. Make sure you're
01:03:41.280
asking questions, be in the Facebook group, be in the iron council, send me an email if you want
01:03:45.820
coaching and we'll start getting after it, but, uh, we'll be back on Friday until then go out there,
01:03:50.340
take action and become the man you are meant to be.
01:03:57.620
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
01:04:02.180
and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.