Order of Man - Write Your Own Story

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.700 you can call yourself a man. What's going on you guys? This is Ryan

00:00:26.380 Mickler. I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here.

00:00:31.560 Welcome back. This is your Friday Field Notes. I'm going to be sharing some ideas and thoughts

00:00:36.020 that I've been thinking about from throughout the week. If you are just joining us for the very first

00:00:40.300 time, we also have an interview show where I'm interviewing incredible men. These are New York

00:00:44.920 Times bestselling authors, athletes, warriors, scholars. If I can find somebody who's got an

00:00:51.540 interesting story to tell and they've been successful in their life, then I want to have

00:00:57.160 conversations with these guys, distill their practical wisdom and information into advice

00:01:03.220 and suggestions and things that we can personally do as men to enhance our own lives and the lives

00:01:08.920 of the people that we care about. Today, I want to talk with you about writing your own story

00:01:13.520 because there's a lot of guys who get trapped in the story they've written, even subconsciously

00:01:20.240 in the past, or they're living out somebody else's story, like their father's story, for example,

00:01:26.980 or other people that maybe even they admire or respect and look up to that. Although it's good

00:01:34.040 to have those kinds of people, it's not your story. So we're going to talk about that. Before I do want

00:01:39.720 to mention our friends and show sponsors and on the subject of story, I wanted to introduce you to

00:01:47.120 Origin, Maine. I've gotten a lot of emails and messages from people regarding some of these

00:01:53.380 mandates that companies are enforcing. The one that I hear a lot from is Carhartt. Obviously,

00:02:01.120 I've gotten a lot of messages about the email that they sent to all their employees that says they are

00:02:06.700 going to uphold this vaccine mandate for their employees. And look, I think that we're going to

00:02:14.100 see this go away very, very quickly. If we stop voting for this nonsense we don't believe in

00:02:20.720 with our wallets, then that means we don't do business with companies that don't believe in

00:02:27.840 the same ideals that we do. And that's how we get to vote on whether or not we support things like

00:02:34.100 these companies are doing. But if you're looking for a company that's rewriting the American story,

00:02:40.280 that's really trying to do right and to do good and to bring back American manufacturing,

00:02:48.400 then you need look no further than Origin USA. Started as a jujitsu company making gis and rash

00:02:55.700 guards. Now they're making denim. In fact, I've got my Delta jeans on right now. They're making boots.

00:03:01.880 I've got my Lincoln boots on. What else? They're making hoodies. They've got their heavy hoodie.

00:03:09.720 They've got a bunch of durable goods, leather belts, wallets. I mean, these guys are trying

00:03:15.360 to branch out and everything. And then they have their supplemental lineup where they have partnered

00:03:21.340 with Jocko on that. And so they've got their pre-workout. They've got their joint warfare,

00:03:26.560 which I take religiously. They're a super krill, their protein, which is called their milk.

00:03:32.520 Again, a hundred percent made and sourced in America. Go check them out. If you want to be

00:03:38.580 part of the right story, which is controlling supply chains here in the United States, putting

00:03:44.700 Americans back to work with good quality, meaningful jobs, and then supporting companies that do this kind

00:03:52.960 of work as opposed to Carhartt and some of these others that are rewriting a story that they don't

00:04:00.980 want to be writing. And we need to express our disapproval for the wrong story and our approval

00:04:07.340 for the right one. Go check out originusa.com, originusa.com. If you end up buying anything,

00:04:12.660 use the code order, O-R-D-E-R at checkout. All right, guys, let's talk about writing your own story.

00:04:18.580 As I said earlier, a lot of us get trapped in the past, living out either somebody else's story

00:04:25.320 or a story that we've written in our past. And so I see a lot of guys who are stuck.

00:04:30.280 They're not satisfied with life. They're feeling like their life is mediocre. They're feeling like

00:04:35.580 I did years ago when I thought to myself every day when I woke up, Ryan, you are meant for something

00:04:40.600 more. And I just wasn't living that life. I wasn't carrying it out. And what I realized is that I had

00:04:47.700 subconsciously subscribed to some scripts that weren't serving me well. It was scripts that I

00:04:54.780 learned from my parents. It was scripts that I learned from culture generally. It was even scripts

00:04:59.300 that I had learned from myself that I'm not good enough and I'm not worthy and I can't be successful

00:05:05.780 and luck is for everybody else. And I realized over years and years of working through some of these

00:05:12.780 scripts that obviously that wasn't serving me. And that if I wanted to have the kind of life that

00:05:18.040 I wanted, it all started right up here in the mind first, that I couldn't just manifest or will

00:05:24.280 something into existence instantaneously, but I needed to start thinking differently about the way

00:05:30.200 that I viewed life and the way that I viewed myself and interaction in life. And as I began to slowly

00:05:37.160 and gradually change the scripts that I adhered to and that I operated by, my life began to change.

00:05:44.260 I began to find meaning and purpose, not only in different work, but even my existing work

00:05:49.200 became more meaningful and purpose-driven because of the new scripts that I had written.

00:05:54.080 I started to develop powerful friendships, excuse me, and a network. I started having a deeper and better

00:06:02.560 and more intimate connection with the people that I was close to, my wife, my children, my friends,

00:06:08.780 all because I decided that I'm going to write my own story. And I may not be completely satisfied

00:06:14.620 and happy with where I am in life right now, but it can change. And that's the first thing you need

00:06:19.700 to realize is that it can change. You're not destined to carry out the words on the pages that have led you

00:06:27.680 from birth to the point that you are right now. You can change it and you can be the author.

00:06:32.720 You are the author, or you're going to relinquish control of that option. And you're going to let

00:06:38.920 somebody else write it for you, whether it serves you or not. So what I want you to do first and

00:06:44.120 foremost is decide that you're going to take back the power and responsibility of writing your own life,

00:06:49.860 of being the author of the owns of your own story that you're living out. And first decide what kind

00:06:56.420 of story you want this to be. You know, you may be downtrodden. You may be beat up. You may be

00:07:01.540 depressed. You may feel like you're a failure or a loser. I've certainly been there. And if that's

00:07:07.540 the kind of story you want, then keep playing out that script. But if you want a different story,

00:07:12.560 think about what that's going to look like. And I'm not talking about this bullshit, positive

00:07:16.960 self-affirmation stuff where you try to convince yourself you're better than you really are.

00:07:21.740 That creates internal dialogues that aren't good, conflicting dialogues that create a whole other

00:07:26.860 set of problems. But I believe that every single one of us, even in the pit of despair, where you

00:07:34.260 might be right now, can start thinking about what you would actually like your life to look like.

00:07:39.880 So many of you are going in default mode and you're just carrying out these scripts and they're leading

00:07:44.920 you to an inevitable result. And you can't even form the connection between where you are and what

00:07:51.240 you're thinking about. But I do think every single one of us, regardless of where we are right now,

00:07:57.040 has the power to say, you know what, I'm going to project myself out into the future. And this is the

00:08:02.480 kind of story I want to write. I want to write one of redemption. I want to write one of fulfillment

00:08:08.980 and satisfaction and a deep connection to the people that I care about. I want to write a story that

00:08:14.800 I am enough, uh, that I'm doing what it takes to feel good about how I'm showing up in my own life

00:08:22.460 and the lives of other people. What's the kind of story you want to write? Have you thought about

00:08:28.200 that? Have you put pen to paper? When you lay your head down at night, what are you dreaming about?

00:08:33.160 What are you thinking about? What are you filling into your consciousness? The more that you can do that,

00:08:37.960 the more likely it is that as I talk about these next few steps, you're going to be able to write,

00:08:42.780 actually tangibly write the story that you want for yourself. Next, any good story has a good set

00:08:50.420 of characters. And there's a lot of character development that goes into the writing process.

00:08:54.720 Who is this person? What do they want? What's their personality? What are they driven by? What are

00:09:00.300 they inspired by? What are their vices? What are their challenges? Who are the other characters in the,

00:09:06.280 in the novel? What's their role in this? Are they just a passerby? Are they an active part of it?

00:09:12.240 What are their motives? Think about the characters in your life. Think about you first. What kind of

00:09:18.820 fully developed character do you want to be? You know, if I had to think about myself, I want to be

00:09:24.340 strong. I want to be rugged. I want to be independent. I want to be capable. I want to be somebody who

00:09:31.020 has not only built wealth in his life, but can share that wealth in a way that's meaningful and

00:09:36.100 productive for other people like my family and friends and employees and clients. But I also

00:09:42.540 think about the kind of characters that I want in my life. I want the same kind of characters in my

00:09:46.580 life. People who know how to add value. People who are willing to sacrifice in order to produce

00:09:52.520 something big in their lives. People who are successful, who can turn around and help me by

00:09:57.680 teaching me and leading me and inspiring me. These are the kind of characters that I want in my novel.

00:10:03.320 And I've thought very deliberately and intentionally about that. And so to me, there's no wonder that I

00:10:08.200 have the right kind of people in my life. And I also know who I don't want in my life. I don't

00:10:13.600 want toxic people. I don't want negative people. I don't want people who use me and abuse me and

00:10:20.800 manipulate me for their own personal gain. I don't want losers who aren't willing to sacrifice for what

00:10:26.280 they want. I don't want a bunch of yappers. I want a bunch of people who take action and put their

00:10:32.380 dreams into reality. So I know who I want and I know what I don't want. Because equally important

00:10:37.940 to what you do want is you're going to need to cut some things out of your life. There's some people

00:10:42.140 and there's some behaviors and there's some thoughts that are happening in your life right now

00:10:47.380 that are quite literally bottlenecking your progress and your growth. Certain people are so toxic and

00:10:55.680 destructive to you that you will never get ahead because they're in your life. Certain thoughts like

00:11:02.660 I'm a loser is one of them. Man, if you're calling yourself a loser, you're never going to achieve

00:11:08.280 anything big in your life because you don't feel like you deserve it. Now you may have lost and I'm not

00:11:13.980 telling you to be ignorant to the things that you've done in the past. But write that up,

00:11:19.280 chalk that up to the next point I wanted to make, which is a closed chapter. All right. Books are about

00:11:25.640 chapters. You know, in every good book, Joseph Campbell, The Hero's Journey, every good book,

00:11:31.840 the hero, you, you are the hero. You should be anyways. Like you're not a secondary character.

00:11:36.640 You're the main character of your story. Has gone through trials and tribulations and challenges,

00:11:42.240 but also learns to overcome that. But you would never, never listen, read a book or, or, or listen

00:11:50.760 to a book or watch a movie where there wasn't some sort of internal conflict and struggle. Okay. That's

00:11:57.560 a, that's a crucial part of the story. So you don't need to believe that your life has to be,

00:12:03.280 everything's on a silver spoon and everything you touch turns to gold, man. That's a boring story.

00:12:09.140 You know what a better story is that you, in spite of your challenges and maybe even because of them

00:12:15.800 have become the hero of your own journey, have learned a valuable lesson from those struggles

00:12:23.200 and challenges that you can now take and apply to a new chapter of your story. So we're, yes,

00:12:31.260 we're going to close the chapter of certain elements of our story, but we're not going to

00:12:36.880 completely forget it. It's not over new pages have yet to have been written.

00:12:42.680 And what we're going to do is we're going to build out this character, which is you coming from

00:12:47.340 a less than favorable background, dealing with a divorce, dealing with addiction or being unhealthy,

00:12:58.220 disease, disease, illness, suicidal thoughts, depression, and you're going to be a stronger

00:13:06.180 character. You're going to be a stronger person because you went through that.

00:13:12.140 The next thing you got to think about is what would this character do in any given moment?

00:13:18.960 So you've thought about what kind of story you want to write and you're vivid about that. And you're

00:13:24.100 clear about that. And you know exactly what you want it to be. You've thought about character

00:13:28.260 development, what motivates you? What inspires you? What kind of character do you want to be?

00:13:33.880 What other characters do you need in your life? Okay. We've addressed the chapters that the previous

00:13:40.260 versions of your life are crucial. Even the so-called negative or destructive ones are crucial to the

00:13:46.620 character that you are right now. Okay. Now I want you to start thinking about what that character,

00:13:51.720 what that ideal character would do in any given situation. So when you're tempted to do something

00:13:57.320 that's not going to serve you and you know, it isn't like tap into one of your vices or step out

00:14:02.300 on your wife or not perform the way that you should or coast and take it easy when you should be doubling

00:14:08.160 down and charging forward or even little things in the moment, like honoring your word,

00:14:13.900 doing what you said you were going to do, taking out the trash, sitting down and writing or doing

00:14:21.500 a podcast or completing that assignment or making those sales calls, little things.

00:14:28.240 And in the moment where you're tempted not to perform that way, I want you to think about the

00:14:32.880 character that you develop for yourself, the person you wanted to be. And I want you to ask,

00:14:38.720 what would that guy do? You know, what, what, what, what would the ideal version of Bill or George or Bob

00:14:46.080 or whoever, what would the ideal version of him do in this moment? And I can tell you with a hundred

00:14:53.080 percent certainty that if you carry that out and you think about what that guy would do,

00:14:59.660 and then you do it, your life will almost change overnight because you're going to create somebody

00:15:06.400 new, which means that you're going to do different things, which means that you're going to produce a

00:15:11.980 different result. What is it? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over

00:15:17.380 and over again and expecting a new result. Okay. I'm telling you to do something different.

00:15:24.780 The old Bill would do that. And we know where that leads. The old Bill would get shit faced tonight

00:15:30.520 and then argue with his wife and then undermine what he's trying to do as the leader of his household.

00:15:35.960 That's the old George. The new George is not going to do that. He's going to put the bottle down and

00:15:44.400 he's going to be engaged with his family and he's going to love on his wife. And he's going to ask her

00:15:49.000 about her day. And he's going to share about his day. And they're going to be deeply connected.

00:15:54.380 And now because of that, you're doing new actions, new result. Now you're much more connected with her.

00:15:59.960 The old Steve would go to work and just do the bare minimum to get by just enough, not to get fired,

00:16:08.640 not to draw any attention to himself. He'd slack off. He'd procrastinate on the tasks and the things

00:16:15.680 that he needed to get done. And we know where that leads job dissatisfaction and potential loss of a job,

00:16:22.280 which leads to financial trouble, which leads to marital problems. You get it. But the new

00:16:28.240 bill or George, whatever I said, the Steve, I think the new Steve is going to show up on time.

00:16:38.880 He's going to close out his day so that when he comes into the office tomorrow,

00:16:42.480 he knows exactly what he needs to do. And he's much more effective.

00:16:47.620 The new Steve doesn't procrastinate. He sees a task in front of him and he attacks that task

00:16:53.800 and he gets it done. And what that does is that leads to job satisfaction, job fulfillment,

00:17:01.800 potential job advancement, even new business opportunities, new clients. And now because of it,

00:17:09.940 he's able to get his financial house in order. And because of that, he's not stressed out about

00:17:14.360 making the mortgage payment. He can now take his family on vacation or him and his wife can serve

00:17:20.920 on that charitable organization or they can donate to charity all because the new Steve decided he's

00:17:28.800 not going to procrastinate. And you do this over and over and over again. And now you have some sort

00:17:34.680 of an aspirational goal of who you have the potential to become. We've all heard that adage

00:17:40.920 about hell is dying and going to heaven or wherever and meeting the person you could have been had you done

00:17:50.340 what you know you needed to do. Make that happen today. And here's the last thing I would say, guys,

00:17:57.240 and then we'll close it out for the day, is you need to write your story every single day.

00:18:04.120 Every single day, you come to a blank page. I got my notepad right here. You come to a blank page

00:18:10.680 and you get to write it. Don't let it happen by default. Don't let somebody else write it down for you.

00:18:18.800 Don't live somebody else's story and somebody else's like, you're going to be an active part in other

00:18:23.140 people's story. That's fine. But don't let them write your story. You write your story. And when

00:18:30.720 you mess up and you will, just like I do every single day, you chalk it up to something that

00:18:37.340 happened yesterday. You learned from it. You got better. And today you have a blank slate.

00:18:43.320 But we're not just going to let it be written just by default. You are going to be assertive

00:18:50.780 enough to sit down, to write out what you want, to carry out what that character would do,

00:18:57.980 and begin over time, compounded daily to build the kind of story that you want your life to look like.

00:19:05.840 Guys, I know that it can be hard. I know sometimes it doesn't feel like, hey, if I do all these things,

00:19:13.740 it'll work out because the progress at times is so incrementally small that you can barely notice it,

00:19:20.640 if at all. Sometimes doing the right thing doesn't yield the results immediately. If you're 50 pounds

00:19:26.900 overweight, for example, and you go into the gym today and tomorrow and Wednesday, you might experience

00:19:33.860 nominal results, but you're not going to look in the mirror and see the six pack abs.

00:19:38.200 And that might be a little deflating. Don't let it be. Do what you need to do. Do what that character

00:19:44.740 would do every single day and have faith that if you compound that over and over again, by writing

00:19:50.280 the right words on the right pages in the right story, that you're going to create the life that

00:19:56.240 you want. All right, guys, let's continue the conversation on the socials, on Twitter, Facebook,

00:20:04.760 Instagram, at Ryan Mickler. Follow me there. Go check out the story. The Origin crew is writing

00:20:12.760 at originusa.com. Use the code order at checkout if you do. Not only will it save you some money,

00:20:18.820 it lets them know that you're finding them through what we're doing right here.

00:20:22.480 And that would mean a lot to me. The last thing that would mean a lot to me, if you would, please

00:20:27.100 just go in and leave a rating and review. We're just over 7,000 ratings and reviews.

00:20:31.920 I've got some goals, not only with the reviews, but how large we want to grow this podcast and this

00:20:37.560 movement this year. And when it comes to writing that story, part of what's required, one of the

00:20:44.200 scripts that's required is getting the ratings and reviews. So I'd like to bump that up to 10,000.

00:20:50.020 I've got a really cool giveaway I'm going to do partnered with another organization that's

00:20:55.560 writing a great story, Montana Knife Company. And we're going to do a giveaway on one of their knives

00:21:00.620 for ratings and reviews. So leave that rating and review, take a screenshot, and then you're going

00:21:07.400 to email it to brandyatorderofman.com. Again, five-star rating review, screenshot it, brandyatorderofman.com

00:21:18.820 with review on the subject line. And we're going to enter you in for one of Montana Knife Company's

00:21:24.680 newest knives, which is pretty incredible. Okay. All right, you guys, that's what I've got for you

00:21:29.760 today. Go out there, write your own story, and become the man you are meant to be.

00:21:33.860 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life

00:21:38.500 and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - January 21, 2022

Write Your Own Story ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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