Order of Man - January 21, 2022


Write Your Own Story ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats


Length

21 minutes

Words per minute

176.04024

Word count

3,826

Sentence count

240

Harmful content

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of Field Notes, Ryan talks about the importance of writing your own story and why it's so important to have your own narrative. He also talks about how important it is to be a man of action and live life to the fullest.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.700 you can call yourself a man. What's going on you guys? This is Ryan
00:00:26.380 Mickler. I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here.
00:00:31.560 Welcome back. This is your Friday Field Notes. I'm going to be sharing some ideas and thoughts
00:00:36.020 that I've been thinking about from throughout the week. If you are just joining us for the very first
00:00:40.300 time, we also have an interview show where I'm interviewing incredible men. These are New York
00:00:44.920 Times bestselling authors, athletes, warriors, scholars. If I can find somebody who's got an
00:00:51.540 interesting story to tell and they've been successful in their life, then I want to have
00:00:57.160 conversations with these guys, distill their practical wisdom and information into advice
00:01:03.220 and suggestions and things that we can personally do as men to enhance our own lives and the lives
00:01:08.920 of the people that we care about. Today, I want to talk with you about writing your own story
00:01:13.520 because there's a lot of guys who get trapped in the story they've written, even subconsciously
00:01:20.240 in the past, or they're living out somebody else's story, like their father's story, for example,
00:01:26.980 or other people that maybe even they admire or respect and look up to that. Although it's good
00:01:34.040 to have those kinds of people, it's not your story. So we're going to talk about that. Before I do want
00:01:39.720 to mention our friends and show sponsors and on the subject of story, I wanted to introduce you to
00:01:47.120 Origin, Maine. I've gotten a lot of emails and messages from people regarding some of these
00:01:53.380 mandates that companies are enforcing. The one that I hear a lot from is Carhartt. Obviously,
00:02:01.120 I've gotten a lot of messages about the email that they sent to all their employees that says they are
00:02:06.700 going to uphold this vaccine mandate for their employees. And look, I think that we're going to
00:02:14.100 see this go away very, very quickly. If we stop voting for this nonsense we don't believe in
00:02:20.720 with our wallets, then that means we don't do business with companies that don't believe in
00:02:27.840 the same ideals that we do. And that's how we get to vote on whether or not we support things like
00:02:34.100 these companies are doing. But if you're looking for a company that's rewriting the American story,
00:02:40.280 that's really trying to do right and to do good and to bring back American manufacturing,
00:02:48.400 then you need look no further than Origin USA. Started as a jujitsu company making gis and rash
00:02:55.700 guards. Now they're making denim. In fact, I've got my Delta jeans on right now. They're making boots.
00:03:01.880 I've got my Lincoln boots on. What else? They're making hoodies. They've got their heavy hoodie.
00:03:09.720 They've got a bunch of durable goods, leather belts, wallets. I mean, these guys are trying
00:03:15.360 to branch out and everything. And then they have their supplemental lineup where they have partnered
00:03:21.340 with Jocko on that. And so they've got their pre-workout. They've got their joint warfare,
00:03:26.560 which I take religiously. They're a super krill, their protein, which is called their milk.
00:03:32.520 Again, a hundred percent made and sourced in America. Go check them out. If you want to be
00:03:38.580 part of the right story, which is controlling supply chains here in the United States, putting
00:03:44.700 Americans back to work with good quality, meaningful jobs, and then supporting companies that do this kind 0.62
00:03:52.960 of work as opposed to Carhartt and some of these others that are rewriting a story that they don't
00:04:00.980 want to be writing. And we need to express our disapproval for the wrong story and our approval
00:04:07.340 for the right one. Go check out originusa.com, originusa.com. If you end up buying anything,
00:04:12.660 use the code order, O-R-D-E-R at checkout. All right, guys, let's talk about writing your own story.
00:04:18.580 As I said earlier, a lot of us get trapped in the past, living out either somebody else's story
00:04:25.320 or a story that we've written in our past. And so I see a lot of guys who are stuck.
00:04:30.280 They're not satisfied with life. They're feeling like their life is mediocre. They're feeling like
00:04:35.580 I did years ago when I thought to myself every day when I woke up, Ryan, you are meant for something
00:04:40.600 more. And I just wasn't living that life. I wasn't carrying it out. And what I realized is that I had
00:04:47.700 subconsciously subscribed to some scripts that weren't serving me well. It was scripts that I
00:04:54.780 learned from my parents. It was scripts that I learned from culture generally. It was even scripts
00:04:59.300 that I had learned from myself that I'm not good enough and I'm not worthy and I can't be successful
00:05:05.780 and luck is for everybody else. And I realized over years and years of working through some of these
00:05:12.780 scripts that obviously that wasn't serving me. And that if I wanted to have the kind of life that
00:05:18.040 I wanted, it all started right up here in the mind first, that I couldn't just manifest or will
00:05:24.280 something into existence instantaneously, but I needed to start thinking differently about the way
00:05:30.200 that I viewed life and the way that I viewed myself and interaction in life. And as I began to slowly
00:05:37.160 and gradually change the scripts that I adhered to and that I operated by, my life began to change.
00:05:44.260 I began to find meaning and purpose, not only in different work, but even my existing work
00:05:49.200 became more meaningful and purpose-driven because of the new scripts that I had written.
00:05:54.080 I started to develop powerful friendships, excuse me, and a network. I started having a deeper and better
00:06:02.560 and more intimate connection with the people that I was close to, my wife, my children, my friends,
00:06:08.780 all because I decided that I'm going to write my own story. And I may not be completely satisfied
00:06:14.620 and happy with where I am in life right now, but it can change. And that's the first thing you need
00:06:19.700 to realize is that it can change. You're not destined to carry out the words on the pages that have led you
00:06:27.680 from birth to the point that you are right now. You can change it and you can be the author.
00:06:32.720 You are the author, or you're going to relinquish control of that option. And you're going to let
00:06:38.920 somebody else write it for you, whether it serves you or not. So what I want you to do first and
00:06:44.120 foremost is decide that you're going to take back the power and responsibility of writing your own life,
00:06:49.860 of being the author of the owns of your own story that you're living out. And first decide what kind
00:06:56.420 of story you want this to be. You know, you may be downtrodden. You may be beat up. You may be
00:07:01.540 depressed. You may feel like you're a failure or a loser. I've certainly been there. And if that's
00:07:07.540 the kind of story you want, then keep playing out that script. But if you want a different story,
00:07:12.560 think about what that's going to look like. And I'm not talking about this bullshit, positive
00:07:16.960 self-affirmation stuff where you try to convince yourself you're better than you really are.
00:07:21.740 That creates internal dialogues that aren't good, conflicting dialogues that create a whole other
00:07:26.860 set of problems. But I believe that every single one of us, even in the pit of despair, where you
00:07:34.260 might be right now, can start thinking about what you would actually like your life to look like.
00:07:39.880 So many of you are going in default mode and you're just carrying out these scripts and they're leading
00:07:44.920 you to an inevitable result. And you can't even form the connection between where you are and what
00:07:51.240 you're thinking about. But I do think every single one of us, regardless of where we are right now,
00:07:57.040 has the power to say, you know what, I'm going to project myself out into the future. And this is the
00:08:02.480 kind of story I want to write. I want to write one of redemption. I want to write one of fulfillment
00:08:08.980 and satisfaction and a deep connection to the people that I care about. I want to write a story that
00:08:14.800 I am enough, uh, that I'm doing what it takes to feel good about how I'm showing up in my own life
00:08:22.460 and the lives of other people. What's the kind of story you want to write? Have you thought about
00:08:28.200 that? Have you put pen to paper? When you lay your head down at night, what are you dreaming about?
00:08:33.160 What are you thinking about? What are you filling into your consciousness? The more that you can do that,
00:08:37.960 the more likely it is that as I talk about these next few steps, you're going to be able to write,
00:08:42.780 actually tangibly write the story that you want for yourself. Next, any good story has a good set
00:08:50.420 of characters. And there's a lot of character development that goes into the writing process.
00:08:54.720 Who is this person? What do they want? What's their personality? What are they driven by? What are
00:09:00.300 they inspired by? What are their vices? What are their challenges? Who are the other characters in the,
00:09:06.280 in the novel? What's their role in this? Are they just a passerby? Are they an active part of it?
00:09:12.240 What are their motives? Think about the characters in your life. Think about you first. What kind of
00:09:18.820 fully developed character do you want to be? You know, if I had to think about myself, I want to be
00:09:24.340 strong. I want to be rugged. I want to be independent. I want to be capable. I want to be somebody who
00:09:31.020 has not only built wealth in his life, but can share that wealth in a way that's meaningful and
00:09:36.100 productive for other people like my family and friends and employees and clients. But I also
00:09:42.540 think about the kind of characters that I want in my life. I want the same kind of characters in my
00:09:46.580 life. People who know how to add value. People who are willing to sacrifice in order to produce
00:09:52.520 something big in their lives. People who are successful, who can turn around and help me by
00:09:57.680 teaching me and leading me and inspiring me. These are the kind of characters that I want in my novel.
00:10:03.320 And I've thought very deliberately and intentionally about that. And so to me, there's no wonder that I
00:10:08.200 have the right kind of people in my life. And I also know who I don't want in my life. I don't
00:10:13.600 want toxic people. I don't want negative people. I don't want people who use me and abuse me and
00:10:20.800 manipulate me for their own personal gain. I don't want losers who aren't willing to sacrifice for what
00:10:26.280 they want. I don't want a bunch of yappers. I want a bunch of people who take action and put their 1.00
00:10:32.380 dreams into reality. So I know who I want and I know what I don't want. Because equally important
00:10:37.940 to what you do want is you're going to need to cut some things out of your life. There's some people
00:10:42.140 and there's some behaviors and there's some thoughts that are happening in your life right now
00:10:47.380 that are quite literally bottlenecking your progress and your growth. Certain people are so toxic and
00:10:55.680 destructive to you that you will never get ahead because they're in your life. Certain thoughts like
00:11:02.660 I'm a loser is one of them. Man, if you're calling yourself a loser, you're never going to achieve
00:11:08.280 anything big in your life because you don't feel like you deserve it. Now you may have lost and I'm not
00:11:13.980 telling you to be ignorant to the things that you've done in the past. But write that up,
00:11:19.280 chalk that up to the next point I wanted to make, which is a closed chapter. All right. Books are about
00:11:25.640 chapters. You know, in every good book, Joseph Campbell, The Hero's Journey, every good book,
00:11:31.840 the hero, you, you are the hero. You should be anyways. Like you're not a secondary character.
00:11:36.640 You're the main character of your story. Has gone through trials and tribulations and challenges,
00:11:42.240 but also learns to overcome that. But you would never, never listen, read a book or, or, or listen
00:11:50.760 to a book or watch a movie where there wasn't some sort of internal conflict and struggle. Okay. That's
00:11:57.560 a, that's a crucial part of the story. So you don't need to believe that your life has to be,
00:12:03.280 everything's on a silver spoon and everything you touch turns to gold, man. That's a boring story.
00:12:09.140 You know what a better story is that you, in spite of your challenges and maybe even because of them
00:12:15.800 have become the hero of your own journey, have learned a valuable lesson from those struggles
00:12:23.200 and challenges that you can now take and apply to a new chapter of your story. So we're, yes,
00:12:31.260 we're going to close the chapter of certain elements of our story, but we're not going to
00:12:36.880 completely forget it. It's not over new pages have yet to have been written.
00:12:42.680 And what we're going to do is we're going to build out this character, which is you coming from
00:12:47.340 a less than favorable background, dealing with a divorce, dealing with addiction or being unhealthy,
00:12:58.220 disease, disease, illness, suicidal thoughts, depression, and you're going to be a stronger
00:13:06.180 character. You're going to be a stronger person because you went through that.
00:13:12.140 The next thing you got to think about is what would this character do in any given moment?
00:13:18.960 So you've thought about what kind of story you want to write and you're vivid about that. And you're
00:13:24.100 clear about that. And you know exactly what you want it to be. You've thought about character
00:13:28.260 development, what motivates you? What inspires you? What kind of character do you want to be?
00:13:33.880 What other characters do you need in your life? Okay. We've addressed the chapters that the previous
00:13:40.260 versions of your life are crucial. Even the so-called negative or destructive ones are crucial to the
00:13:46.620 character that you are right now. Okay. Now I want you to start thinking about what that character,
00:13:51.720 what that ideal character would do in any given situation. So when you're tempted to do something
00:13:57.320 that's not going to serve you and you know, it isn't like tap into one of your vices or step out
00:14:02.300 on your wife or not perform the way that you should or coast and take it easy when you should be doubling
00:14:08.160 down and charging forward or even little things in the moment, like honoring your word,
00:14:13.900 doing what you said you were going to do, taking out the trash, sitting down and writing or doing
00:14:21.500 a podcast or completing that assignment or making those sales calls, little things.
00:14:28.240 And in the moment where you're tempted not to perform that way, I want you to think about the
00:14:32.880 character that you develop for yourself, the person you wanted to be. And I want you to ask,
00:14:38.720 what would that guy do? You know, what, what, what, what would the ideal version of Bill or George or Bob
00:14:46.080 or whoever, what would the ideal version of him do in this moment? And I can tell you with a hundred
00:14:53.080 percent certainty that if you carry that out and you think about what that guy would do,
00:14:59.660 and then you do it, your life will almost change overnight because you're going to create somebody
00:15:06.400 new, which means that you're going to do different things, which means that you're going to produce a
00:15:11.980 different result. What is it? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over
00:15:17.380 and over again and expecting a new result. Okay. I'm telling you to do something different.
00:15:24.780 The old Bill would do that. And we know where that leads. The old Bill would get shit faced tonight
00:15:30.520 and then argue with his wife and then undermine what he's trying to do as the leader of his household.
00:15:35.960 That's the old George. The new George is not going to do that. He's going to put the bottle down and
00:15:44.400 he's going to be engaged with his family and he's going to love on his wife. And he's going to ask her
00:15:49.000 about her day. And he's going to share about his day. And they're going to be deeply connected.
00:15:54.380 And now because of that, you're doing new actions, new result. Now you're much more connected with her.
00:15:59.960 The old Steve would go to work and just do the bare minimum to get by just enough, not to get fired,
00:16:08.640 not to draw any attention to himself. He'd slack off. He'd procrastinate on the tasks and the things
00:16:15.680 that he needed to get done. And we know where that leads job dissatisfaction and potential loss of a job,
00:16:22.280 which leads to financial trouble, which leads to marital problems. You get it. But the new
00:16:28.240 bill or George, whatever I said, the Steve, I think the new Steve is going to show up on time.
00:16:38.880 He's going to close out his day so that when he comes into the office tomorrow,
00:16:42.480 he knows exactly what he needs to do. And he's much more effective.
00:16:47.620 The new Steve doesn't procrastinate. He sees a task in front of him and he attacks that task
00:16:53.800 and he gets it done. And what that does is that leads to job satisfaction, job fulfillment,
00:17:01.800 potential job advancement, even new business opportunities, new clients. And now because of it,
00:17:09.940 he's able to get his financial house in order. And because of that, he's not stressed out about
00:17:14.360 making the mortgage payment. He can now take his family on vacation or him and his wife can serve
00:17:20.920 on that charitable organization or they can donate to charity all because the new Steve decided he's
00:17:28.800 not going to procrastinate. And you do this over and over and over again. And now you have some sort
00:17:34.680 of an aspirational goal of who you have the potential to become. We've all heard that adage
00:17:40.920 about hell is dying and going to heaven or wherever and meeting the person you could have been had you done
00:17:50.340 what you know you needed to do. Make that happen today. And here's the last thing I would say, guys,
00:17:57.240 and then we'll close it out for the day, is you need to write your story every single day.
00:18:04.120 Every single day, you come to a blank page. I got my notepad right here. You come to a blank page
00:18:10.680 and you get to write it. Don't let it happen by default. Don't let somebody else write it down for you.
00:18:18.800 Don't live somebody else's story and somebody else's like, you're going to be an active part in other
00:18:23.140 people's story. That's fine. But don't let them write your story. You write your story. And when
00:18:30.720 you mess up and you will, just like I do every single day, you chalk it up to something that
00:18:37.340 happened yesterday. You learned from it. You got better. And today you have a blank slate.
00:18:43.320 But we're not just going to let it be written just by default. You are going to be assertive
00:18:50.780 enough to sit down, to write out what you want, to carry out what that character would do,
00:18:57.980 and begin over time, compounded daily to build the kind of story that you want your life to look like.
00:19:05.840 Guys, I know that it can be hard. I know sometimes it doesn't feel like, hey, if I do all these things,
00:19:13.740 it'll work out because the progress at times is so incrementally small that you can barely notice it,
00:19:20.640 if at all. Sometimes doing the right thing doesn't yield the results immediately. If you're 50 pounds
00:19:26.900 overweight, for example, and you go into the gym today and tomorrow and Wednesday, you might experience
00:19:33.860 nominal results, but you're not going to look in the mirror and see the six pack abs.
00:19:38.200 And that might be a little deflating. Don't let it be. Do what you need to do. Do what that character
00:19:44.740 would do every single day and have faith that if you compound that over and over again, by writing
00:19:50.280 the right words on the right pages in the right story, that you're going to create the life that
00:19:56.240 you want. All right, guys, let's continue the conversation on the socials, on Twitter, Facebook,
00:20:04.760 Instagram, at Ryan Mickler. Follow me there. Go check out the story. The Origin crew is writing
00:20:12.760 at originusa.com. Use the code order at checkout if you do. Not only will it save you some money,
00:20:18.820 it lets them know that you're finding them through what we're doing right here.
00:20:22.480 And that would mean a lot to me. The last thing that would mean a lot to me, if you would, please
00:20:27.100 just go in and leave a rating and review. We're just over 7,000 ratings and reviews.
00:20:31.920 I've got some goals, not only with the reviews, but how large we want to grow this podcast and this
00:20:37.560 movement this year. And when it comes to writing that story, part of what's required, one of the
00:20:44.200 scripts that's required is getting the ratings and reviews. So I'd like to bump that up to 10,000.
00:20:50.020 I've got a really cool giveaway I'm going to do partnered with another organization that's
00:20:55.560 writing a great story, Montana Knife Company. And we're going to do a giveaway on one of their knives
00:21:00.620 for ratings and reviews. So leave that rating and review, take a screenshot, and then you're going
00:21:07.400 to email it to brandyatorderofman.com. Again, five-star rating review, screenshot it, brandyatorderofman.com
00:21:18.820 with review on the subject line. And we're going to enter you in for one of Montana Knife Company's
00:21:24.680 newest knives, which is pretty incredible. Okay. All right, you guys, that's what I've got for you
00:21:29.760 today. Go out there, write your own story, and become the man you are meant to be.
00:21:33.860 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life
00:21:38.500 and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.