Order of Man - February 14, 2020


You are the Master of Your Domain ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats


Length

29 minutes

Words per minute

194.24966

Word count

5,808

Sentence count

371

Harmful content

Misogyny

2

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of Field Notes, Ryan talks about the importance of becoming the master of your domain and how to reclaim and restore masculinity in our society and culture. He also talks about his own struggles with anxiety and depression and how he overcame them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.700 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michleter, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man, which is a movement to reclaim and restore masculinity.
00:00:36.300 I want to welcome you here. Whether you've been listening for a very long time, four or five years now, or just tuning in for the very first time, this is going to be, hopefully, and it's my goal, to become a very powerful resource for you in your ability to step up within the walls of your home, your business, your community.
00:00:54.700 Wherever you may be showing up as a man. So we've got some great interviews. Guys like Jocko Willink, Andy Frisilla, Grant Cardone, Lewis Howes, Dakota Meyer.
00:01:06.620 The list is absolutely phenomenal. The lineup of men that have decided to band with us in some capacity because they believe in what we're doing and believe in the importance of masculinity and manliness in this society and culture that seems to be increasingly dismissive of it.
00:01:21.180 Right now you're listening to your Friday field notes, excuse me, which is not a, not an interview show, but you get to listen to me and some of my thoughts and ramblings from throughout the week.
00:01:31.960 And I think I've got a very interesting one, a good one lined up for you today.
00:01:35.360 If I can keep my, uh, my throat clear anyways, uh, we're going to get to that in just a minute.
00:01:42.560 I do want to make sure that I mentioned our friends and show sponsors origin, Maine.
00:01:47.100 Uh, these guys make Brazilian jujitsu, geese rash guards, uh, but they also do some lifestyle apparel.
00:01:53.620 In fact, uh, let's see, I think a couple of days ago, as of the release of this podcast, I actually did a photo shoot because, well, if you know, if you know me, you know that I'm, I'm the perfect male model.
00:02:05.780 Um, anyways, I did a photo shoot with these guys, uh, with their denim, uh, their boots.
00:02:11.340 And also they just, uh, released or are releasing a denim jacket.
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00:02:18.500 A hundred percent made and sourced in America.
00:02:20.160 They're making some incredible products and their factories are here in Maine, just down the road from me.
00:02:24.520 Uh, you guys will not be disappointed with, uh, with their products and their service as well.
00:02:28.760 If you're interested, check it out, head to origin, Maine.com origin, Maine.com and use the code order at checkout.
00:02:36.360 And you'll get a discount there when you do.
00:02:38.600 And you'll support the store.
00:02:39.800 You'll support me and you'll support American manufacturing.
00:02:44.020 All right, guys, let's get into this today.
00:02:47.060 I want to talk with you about becoming the master of your domain.
00:02:52.280 I see a lot of guys.
00:02:53.520 I talk with a lot of guys who aren't behaving this way.
00:02:57.140 They, they, they, they aren't the masters of their domain.
00:03:00.780 They're not leading in their homes.
00:03:02.620 They're not leading in their businesses.
00:03:03.940 They're not leading in their communities and they're kind of just passerbys.
00:03:07.740 Uh, they feel like to a degree that they're not really supposed to be there.
00:03:13.200 They feel awkward.
00:03:14.120 They feel out of place.
00:03:15.220 They feel like they're renting space and they don't feel like they are the master of the areas in which they operate.
00:03:21.160 And I can tell you when you feel that way, uh, it's very disheartening.
00:03:26.800 It's very uncomfortable, obviously, but it's very disheartening because you have this vision and this idea for the type of man that you want to be in your mind.
00:03:34.140 And the way that you're living your life is not in alignment with the vision that you have for yourself.
00:03:40.460 And I know for me personally, uh, this was probably nine, 10 years ago, uh, when I was really struggling in my marriage and my business and with my health
00:03:50.240 is the most frustrating, disheartening time in my life was when there was this disconnect between who I thought I was or who I had the potential to become.
00:04:01.020 And then trying to reconcile that with who I actually was at that time.
00:04:05.920 It's very frustrating.
00:04:07.680 Uh, I think this leads to a lot of anxiety and depression and potentially even suicidal thoughts and attempts within men.
00:04:14.720 So the, the, the, the solution to feeling this way is to become the master of your domain.
00:04:24.280 Your domain is any area in which you operate.
00:04:26.980 Now I hear guys who say, well, I'm an employee.
00:04:29.420 I'm not really the boss.
00:04:30.360 I'm not in charge at work.
00:04:31.580 That doesn't mean that you can't be a master of your domain because even though you may not have the same capacity as a business owner, for example, or, or, or the boss or the employee or the team leader, that doesn't mean that you don't have a domain.
00:04:44.720 You do, you have your cubicle, you have your space, you have your area of operation, and that domain is yours.
00:04:50.840 And when you learn to embrace the idea that there, it isn't anybody else's responsibility, that your life and your domain is your responsibility.
00:05:00.420 You're going to have so much more success.
00:05:02.520 You're going to start moving into the man that you have a desire to become.
00:05:06.500 Therefore, your confidence is going to improve and, and your capabilities are going to be more enhanced because you've exhibited some courage towards those things because the confidence allows you to do that.
00:05:17.360 It's this compounding effect when you adopt this mindset.
00:05:21.740 So today, what I wanted to do is share with you six, uh, takeaways, six keys, if you will, that will help you become the master of your domain.
00:05:30.720 Number one, and I'm just going to jump right into this because it's that important.
00:05:34.640 Number one is you just have to adopt the mindset.
00:05:37.840 It all starts right up here.
00:05:39.560 Now you can take action and you can move and you can do the things that you're supposed to do or the things that you know you should be doing.
00:05:45.180 And all of that's great.
00:05:46.540 But if in your mind, you have not adopted the mindset that you are in charge, that it is your space, that is your area of operation.
00:05:55.120 When you walk in that door, that house is yours.
00:05:58.160 When you walk into your office or into your cubicle, that cubicle is yours.
00:06:03.260 Your computer is yours.
00:06:04.380 Your office is yours.
00:06:05.400 Your car is yours.
00:06:06.760 Everywhere you show up, you need to learn that that is your space.
00:06:11.140 And I'm not saying that you need to be a dick.
00:06:13.600 I'm not saying that you need to, to boss people around or be a tyrant or a dictator.
00:06:18.620 I'm not suggesting that at all.
00:06:20.060 In fact, I think if anything, those who are masters of their domain understand that leadership is about service.
00:06:27.100 You're serving other people, your wife, your children, your clients, your colleagues, your employees, whoever it is that you're interacting with, you're serving them.
00:06:36.600 So becoming a master doesn't mean slave driver.
00:06:40.840 It means that inside of your head, you realize and understand and you act in accordance with this being your space.
00:06:48.380 And you having the responsibility for it.
00:06:51.680 So as you're driving in your car right now or watching this on your computer, if you're on YouTube or listening to it as you're doing yard work around the house or other chores, things you need to get accomplished.
00:07:03.800 I really want you to adopt this mindset however you can, that you are the master, that you are the one in charge, that you are the one responsible.
00:07:14.300 And having that mindset wherever you show up, I guarantee will change the way that you show up as you implement these other five steps I'm going to talk with you about today.
00:07:24.160 Again, number one, adopt this mindset.
00:07:26.380 Number two, take responsibility.
00:07:28.780 All right, I cannot tell you, and I think this is a very immature thought.
00:07:32.780 This is a boy-like behavior, is not taking responsibility for your area of operation, for your domain.
00:07:39.840 And let me tell you this, taking responsibility doesn't mean that you're assuming fault.
00:07:45.360 There's a difference.
00:07:46.040 There's a difference between fault, taking fault, and taking responsibility for something.
00:07:50.420 I fully realize that there's situations outside of your control.
00:07:55.840 There's situations that don't always go according to plan.
00:07:58.980 That doesn't mean it's your fault, right?
00:08:01.420 It might be an employee.
00:08:02.440 It might be a boss. 0.60
00:08:03.320 It might be this.
00:08:03.960 It might be that.
00:08:04.540 It might be external circumstances, things beyond your control.
00:08:07.440 But that doesn't mean that you can shirk the responsibility.
00:08:10.220 If you want to be a master of your domain, then you have to understand, A, the distinction
00:08:15.360 between fault and responsibility, and B, always be willing to take responsibility.
00:08:21.580 So if you see something out of alignment or out of order or counter to what it is you're
00:08:27.340 trying to accomplish within your domain, it is your obligation and responsibility to accept
00:08:32.880 that burden, to shoulder that weight.
00:08:36.020 Now, I realize taking responsibility is a challenge.
00:08:38.460 It's a struggle.
00:08:39.220 Uh, there, there's pressure, obviously there, there's added, uh, challenges that come with
00:08:45.060 it, but man, what a powerful, powerful way to operate your life.
00:08:49.220 Again, not that you're taking fault, but that for every area, every engagement, every encounter,
00:08:55.260 every conversation, every project, every piece of trash you see on the ground, a shopping cart
00:09:00.840 that you see in the, in the parking lot.
00:09:02.980 If you decide that this is my area of operations and my domain, because I happen to be here in
00:09:09.120 this moment, then you will learn to take the responsibility and you will be able to do something
00:09:14.720 about it.
00:09:14.960 That's the beauty of responsibility.
00:09:17.600 So many guys are willing to shirk that responsibility and simultaneously, whether they're doing it
00:09:22.000 consciously or subconsciously are giving away any power and authority to do something about
00:09:27.200 their life.
00:09:27.680 See, if you think it's somebody else's responsibility, then you have to sit with your hands tied behind
00:09:33.360 your back, not capable of doing anything that will move the needle because you're waiting on
00:09:38.000 somebody else.
00:09:38.880 I'll tell you the most success I've had in, in, with regards to order of man and other
00:09:44.900 businesses and my financial planning practice, and even as an employee and as a father and
00:09:49.440 a husband is because I'm willing to take responsibility when nobody else is, when everybody's looking
00:09:55.960 around and, and wondering who's going to do what and, and waiting for permission to act.
00:10:00.680 I see a problem.
00:10:01.880 I take responsibility for it, whether it's something that is my fault or not.
00:10:06.540 And then I create solutions.
00:10:09.500 That is the order.
00:10:10.620 You see a problem, you take responsibility for it, and you create and propose solutions
00:10:16.220 and you start acting towards those things.
00:10:18.160 You will make yourself indispensable if you do it that way.
00:10:21.080 And by the way, that's a very important thing to understand is how to make yourself indispensable
00:10:25.760 because there's guys who are listening to this.
00:10:28.720 Maybe you who are working for a company and think, man, if we have layoffs or, or we have
00:10:33.880 these other problems come up, you know, like I'm, I'm going to be out of a job.
00:10:37.740 You should never be out of a job.
00:10:39.480 There should always be opportunity for you because you take responsibility more so than
00:10:44.480 anybody else around you.
00:10:45.720 And this little strategy here will elevate you so much further and above anybody else.
00:10:52.760 Cause they're not willing to do this.
00:10:54.120 All right.
00:10:54.480 Number three is make a stand.
00:10:57.560 Look, this is, this is part of leadership.
00:10:59.560 You need to make a stand.
00:11:01.520 You need to be very clear about what you stand for, what you don't stand for, what the issues
00:11:06.660 are, what the problems are, what your battle is.
00:11:09.140 I talk about this quite often.
00:11:10.720 John Eldridge in his book, wild at heart says deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle
00:11:15.420 to fight, an adventure to live in a beauty to rescue.
00:11:18.720 I want to isolate that first component, a battle to fight.
00:11:21.600 What is your battle to fight?
00:11:23.480 Where have you made your stand?
00:11:25.360 What is the hill that you're willing to die on?
00:11:27.440 And if you can't answer that question, that's a problem.
00:11:30.920 It might just be an indicator that, uh, you, you don't stand for anything and you don't
00:11:37.700 really care all that much about anything.
00:11:40.000 Where are you willing to sacrifice?
00:11:41.760 Where are you not willing to sacrifice?
00:11:43.640 And how are you communicating that to other people?
00:11:46.300 We're going to talk about that in a minute, but guys, if you haven't thought about your
00:11:50.140 vision for your domain, and let's talk about what this might look like your vision for
00:11:55.120 the way that your family operates, the way that you and your wife lead your children,
00:12:00.140 the way that your children behave, their responsibilities and obligations within the household, yours
00:12:04.540 and your wife's responsibilities and obligations within the household, how you're showing up 1.00
00:12:09.000 at work, how you work with clients, what type of clients you're going to take on and what
00:12:13.420 kind of type of clients you won't take on.
00:12:16.220 Like, have you thought about this stuff?
00:12:17.940 Have you documented it?
00:12:18.840 Have you written it down?
00:12:19.920 Uh, I just did a podcast and it's not quite out yet.
00:12:22.960 I'm going to move a couple of things here so you can see, uh, with Michael Hyatt and
00:12:28.420 it's called, oops, excuse me.
00:12:29.560 It's called the vision driven leader is his, is his newest book, uh, which will be out soon.
00:12:34.640 And I did a podcast on this, but he talks about having this vision and answering these
00:12:39.760 10 questions, which you can listen to in the podcast.
00:12:42.500 If you're not subscribed, make sure you subscribe so you don't miss that or anything else.
00:12:45.560 But he talks about these 10 questions that you need to ask yourself regarding the vision
00:12:51.240 that you have and, and what type of stand you're willing to make.
00:12:55.500 And are you willing to die proverbially on that, on that Hill?
00:13:00.940 Are you willing to risk it all?
00:13:03.080 Are you willing to put it all on the line?
00:13:05.060 And if the answer is no, you probably ought to consider what it is you're, you're willing
00:13:09.660 to do that for when you're that convicted about a mission or a purpose or a battle.
00:13:15.540 You're going to be very, very difficult to stop.
00:13:18.560 Uh, and you truly do become the master of your, your space and your domain.
00:13:22.980 Number four, learn to communicate effectively.
00:13:26.200 I'm always hesitant to talk about, you know, like the one skill that you need to learn that
00:13:30.300 will improve everything else or, or, or, uh, is so much more important than anything else.
00:13:35.020 But I will tell you that the better I've gotten at communication, the more effective I've
00:13:40.760 been, the more effective father and husband, the more effective podcaster.
00:13:45.020 Obviously, uh, the more money that I've made, the more promotions I've secured, the more
00:13:50.540 friendships I've been able to build because I've learned to become a great communicator.
00:13:56.820 Guys, this is very, very important.
00:13:59.040 If you've adopted this mindset of becoming the master of your domain, you've taken responsibility.
00:14:04.400 You, you've got a vision, you, you know where you're going to make your stand, but you cannot
00:14:08.980 communicate that effectively to other people.
00:14:11.460 You're going to have a very difficult time implementing the strategies and the processes
00:14:15.580 that you're interested in implementing.
00:14:17.800 It's going to be very, very challenging.
00:14:19.680 So I would suggest that you get some coaching.
00:14:22.020 I would suggest that you listen to some podcasts or, uh, jump on YouTube and watch some videos
00:14:26.860 about communication, uh, that you look at the great communicators, whether it's speeches,
00:14:32.220 John F. Kennedy's, uh, speech about what you can do for your country or Martin Luther King
00:14:37.120 juniors, I have a dream.
00:14:38.380 Uh, you start to study these masterful speakers and presenters and communicators with an eye
00:14:45.700 and an ear out for what they're doing.
00:14:48.400 That is delivering that message clearly, concisely, and powerfully, uh, join a Toastmasters, join
00:14:56.280 a Rotary club, look for opportunities to present.
00:14:59.200 Maybe there's a TEDx conference that you can go to and listen to these speakers, uh, or that
00:15:03.860 you could throw your hat in the ring and actually try to present there yourself.
00:15:07.400 The more that you can present, the more that you can practice communicating your ideas,
00:15:11.800 the better you're going to get at, the more efficient you're going to be.
00:15:14.840 And the more effective you are in enlisting other people to your cause guys, no man is
00:15:20.800 an Island.
00:15:21.480 All right.
00:15:21.720 I realized that we live in this, uh, this lone wolf mentality.
00:15:26.140 You know, you hear about, I'm the alpha.
00:15:28.360 I'm the, I'm the, the Omega is one that I hear quite often.
00:15:32.200 And I'm just telling you, it's like, you don't need to go at this alone.
00:15:36.600 You shouldn't go at it alone, but you are going to go at it alone unless you can learn
00:15:41.080 how to communicate effectively with other individuals.
00:15:43.320 So develop that skill, practice that skill and watch how that helps you become and position
00:15:48.940 yourself as the master of your domain.
00:15:51.140 Number five, be worth following, be worth following.
00:15:55.740 Again, you're going to need to enlist other people.
00:15:58.060 Uh, unless you're worth following, they simply won't follow you.
00:16:01.380 I hear a lot of guys will complain about people, not listening and people, not doing what they
00:16:05.780 say and not being influenced by them.
00:16:08.420 Well, yeah, if you're not worth following, they're not going to follow you.
00:16:12.200 And any behavior that would force people to follow you is tyranny and dictatorship.
00:16:17.680 It doesn't work.
00:16:19.480 You might be able to get people temporarily, uh, to do what you need them to do.
00:16:23.980 For example, if you're a boss or a team leader and you're a dick and nobody likes you and you're
00:16:28.820 not worth following, I mean, people are probably going to do what you say, but they're not completely
00:16:33.720 committed to the cause because why would they be so they're doing mediocre work?
00:16:38.480 They're doing just enough not to get fired, just enough not to be singled out or pointed
00:16:43.480 out by you instead learn to be a great communicator.
00:16:47.160 And also I would say, this is the formula you ought to be after when it comes to getting
00:16:51.460 people to follow you a morality and be capability.
00:16:55.600 You need both.
00:16:56.560 You need to be a moral human being.
00:16:58.440 And I realized that morality in a lot of your eyes is subjective.
00:17:03.420 And certainly I think there's some things that maybe, uh, we could disagree on regarding morality.
00:17:08.560 But when I say morality, I'm talking about being a virtuous human being.
00:17:12.480 And all of us know what that means.
00:17:14.980 We all know what that means.
00:17:16.580 Be honorable, be an integrity, tell the truth.
00:17:20.140 When you mess up, fix it.
00:17:22.040 Uh, don't lie.
00:17:23.300 Don't cheat.
00:17:23.880 Don't steal.
00:17:24.760 Just be a man of your word, work hard, have ethics.
00:17:28.920 Like we all know what this means.
00:17:30.360 You have to be a moral human being.
00:17:32.340 And if you have any questions about what you should or shouldn't do in a particular circumstance,
00:17:38.020 just do what's right.
00:17:39.620 Well, Ryan, what is that?
00:17:40.800 You know, what's right.
00:17:41.520 Just do what's right.
00:17:42.960 And things have a way of working themselves out.
00:17:45.540 It may not work out immediately.
00:17:47.100 If you do what's right, you may expose yourself to, uh, some potential heartache and headache
00:17:53.560 short-term, but long-term it's all going to play out.
00:17:56.760 So just, just do what's right.
00:17:58.080 When you have a question, do what's right.
00:17:59.340 That's what morality is.
00:18:00.820 Capability obviously is your ability to get the thing done.
00:18:04.700 Uh, I heard a great quote from somebody on Instagram.
00:18:06.900 Uh, he had left a comment on one of my posts the other day and he said, cause I was talking
00:18:11.620 about morality and capability.
00:18:12.840 And he said something to the effect of, uh, morality is being able to point out what's
00:18:17.600 wrong.
00:18:18.180 Capability is being able to do something about it.
00:18:21.100 Think about that.
00:18:22.000 Morality is the ability to point out something that's wrong.
00:18:25.760 Capability is the ability to do something about it.
00:18:29.000 Guys, you need to have both.
00:18:30.740 You can't just be a moral person, like a quote unquote good person and not have the capacity
00:18:38.480 to impact your environment, to impact your domain, to become that master of your domain.
00:18:44.700 Like you need to develop the skillsets.
00:18:47.100 You need to learn new information.
00:18:50.180 You need to be a man of your word.
00:18:52.600 You need to be able to exhibit bravery and courage in the face of, you know, people not
00:18:58.980 not, not seeing your vision immediately or some consent, uh, uh, consenting, non-consenting,
00:19:05.080 I should say, uh, voices, people that don't agree with you, people that don't see it your
00:19:10.180 way, people that, that, that hate on you for what it is you're doing.
00:19:13.640 You need to be able to act in the face of that.
00:19:16.380 When you see something wrong, do something about it.
00:19:18.620 Stop yapping about it.
00:19:19.820 Stop bossing people around and just get the job done, develop new skills, focus on what
00:19:26.320 you can do to implement these ideas and be moral.
00:19:29.780 Just do the right thing.
00:19:31.180 When you're that type of individual, I promise you all of these other things are going to
00:19:34.820 start to fall into place.
00:19:36.400 People are going to follow you.
00:19:38.600 People are going to be excited about where you're going.
00:19:41.500 You've casted vision.
00:19:42.900 Uh, you've taken responsibility and now you're actually influential in their life.
00:19:48.560 You're somebody worth following.
00:19:49.580 And the last point, point number six, and this is a little counterintuitive based on
00:19:54.940 what I just said about being worth following.
00:19:56.980 But number six is you need to have a willingness to walk alone.
00:20:01.680 Now I'm not telling you always should, and I'm not telling you this is the end result
00:20:05.640 or objective, but I am telling you that if you can't learn to walk alone at times, you're
00:20:11.020 going to have a very, very difficult time doing any something meaningful, anything meaningful
00:20:15.880 in your life.
00:20:17.260 You have to be able to walk alone because when you start a project or a mission or you're
00:20:23.660 pivoting gears or you're changing who you are within your family dynamic or your work
00:20:28.140 environment, people aren't going to believe in you initially because you might frankly
00:20:32.920 have a track record that says you're not somebody worth believing.
00:20:35.960 And I know that might sound hard.
00:20:38.620 I know that might sound frustrating to you, but look, the reality is the reality.
00:20:43.040 You've spent 10, 15, 20, 30, 40 years, uh, operating in a certain way, a certain mindset,
00:20:50.040 and people are responding to you based on how you've been acting.
00:20:53.320 And all of a sudden, if you start to change who you are by implementing these strategies
00:20:57.280 and everything else that we talk about within order of man, people aren't going to initially
00:21:01.900 follow you and that's okay.
00:21:04.160 You need to be willing to walk that path alone.
00:21:06.820 When I started order of man five years ago, nobody except for my wife and even her, she
00:21:11.560 had questions about it, but nobody believed in what I was doing.
00:21:15.140 People thought it was stupid or that it was silly and it wasn't needed and they didn't
00:21:18.980 get it and they didn't understand it.
00:21:20.720 But you know what they do now?
00:21:22.440 They get it now.
00:21:23.660 These are, and they weren't hating on me.
00:21:25.640 You know, these are people who just didn't understand or didn't care to understand or cared
00:21:30.000 about me and didn't want to see me throw away my financial planning practice that I had
00:21:33.700 built up over the course of roughly 10 years.
00:21:36.740 I get it.
00:21:38.080 I understand.
00:21:38.900 And I held no ill will against these individuals, but you know what?
00:21:42.320 A lot of these same individuals are my biggest supporters now.
00:21:46.240 They're the people who share what we're doing.
00:21:48.260 They're the people who send me messages and say, Hey Ryan, I really appreciate what you're
00:21:52.000 doing.
00:21:52.300 You helped me in this way and that way, man.
00:21:54.600 It's so cool to see how far you've come.
00:21:56.700 These are the types of messages I get from people because I was willing to walk alone.
00:22:01.320 I was willing to go against the current, against the grain.
00:22:05.700 It's a hard thing to do because everybody's going to tell you not to do it.
00:22:09.140 And I don't think the overwhelming majority of people are devious in their desires for
00:22:15.800 you not to do that.
00:22:16.960 I just think that they have some, some, their own self-esteem issues.
00:22:21.460 A lot of people just care about you and don't want to see you mess up.
00:22:24.800 I mean, who wants to see their friends and their family mess up?
00:22:27.140 You don't want to.
00:22:27.660 So people say, be careful, be safe.
00:22:30.380 Don't take any risks.
00:22:31.520 That doesn't make you the master of your domain.
00:22:33.780 It makes you weak.
00:22:35.060 It makes you cowardly.
00:22:36.640 And it makes you produce mediocre at best results.
00:22:40.960 You need to be willing to take that stand.
00:22:43.220 Like I had mentioned in point number three, and you need to be willing to walk alone for
00:22:47.560 a little while.
00:22:48.260 And you know what, if you do and you stay true to your purpose and you stay true to your
00:22:52.000 mission and true to what you want to accomplish and, and, and the fact that you want to be
00:22:56.020 a king of your environment, every environment that you show up, people will begin to follow
00:23:00.640 you.
00:23:01.120 People will see, oh man, Dave's committed.
00:23:03.900 Ryan's committed.
00:23:04.720 Steve's committed.
00:23:05.560 He's like in this thing.
00:23:06.920 And whether they vocalize it or not, they'll begin to see it.
00:23:09.420 And they'll act in accordance with your ability to lead yourself.
00:23:13.540 And they'll decide to be led by you.
00:23:15.820 So let me recap these guys.
00:23:17.540 I want you to be a master of your domain.
00:23:19.680 I want you to, I want you to thrive.
00:23:23.380 I want you to win just like I do.
00:23:25.280 And if we want to do that, then we have to adopt number one, this mindset that wherever
00:23:30.560 we show up, that space becomes ours.
00:23:33.220 Uh, I remember my stepfather, uh, he was, he was, he played football, uh, and he was
00:23:40.060 very, very good, very athletic.
00:23:41.800 And, uh, I played linebacker in high school.
00:23:45.120 Um, and I remember we were talking about going up for a football for a pass, you know, as a
00:23:51.540 linebacker, if the quarterback's throwing it to a receiver, that's coming across the
00:23:54.780 middle, he said, Ryan, you have every right to that ball.
00:23:59.040 As much as the receiver's trying to catch it, you have just as much right to go after that
00:24:04.160 football as that receiver does.
00:24:07.220 That is a very, if you think about that, just like stop for a second and think about that.
00:24:12.820 That's a very powerful way to live your life.
00:24:16.400 You have every right to be successful.
00:24:19.560 You have every right to lead.
00:24:22.560 You have every right to achieve the results that you're after.
00:24:26.340 That is your right.
00:24:27.680 Now, whether you exercise it or not is up to you, but you have the right to that.
00:24:33.440 And I want you to be the master of your domain.
00:24:36.240 I want you to adopt this mindset.
00:24:38.940 I want you, when you show up in your house and you walk through that door, you walk through
00:24:43.640 like a damn King of that castle because that's who you are.
00:24:46.980 And that's how you behave.
00:24:48.740 When you go to bed with your wife and you want to be intimate, that you are the master
00:24:53.040 of that domain, that you, that you're assertive, that you take charge, that you, uh, that you,
00:25:00.440 you show up the way that you want to show up the way that she wants you to show up.
00:25:04.000 When you walk into your office, I want you to walk up with your chest out, your shoulders
00:25:08.580 back, and you walk in there like you own the damn place, whether you do or not. 0.66
00:25:12.880 And this isn't a show, by the way, I'm not talking about faking it till you make it.
00:25:16.840 I'm talking about adopting these six strategies so that you feel confident doing that.
00:25:22.040 And you feel like you have the right to do that.
00:25:24.520 When you walk into the store, I want people to stop and look at you and wonder, what is
00:25:29.640 it about that guy?
00:25:31.440 That's how you become the master.
00:25:32.820 So number one, adopt that mindset.
00:25:34.300 Number two, take responsibility.
00:25:35.960 Again, not fault, not the burden of blame or fault responsibility.
00:25:40.520 It's different.
00:25:41.820 You need to take responsibility for your actions.
00:25:44.160 Take responsibility for the environment around you.
00:25:46.740 If you see a piece of trash on the floor, yeah, maybe you didn't throw that piece of trash
00:25:50.680 there, but why wouldn't you pick it up?
00:25:52.780 If there's a cart hanging out in the, in the parking lot and it's like not in its place,
00:25:57.280 like, why wouldn't you just go put that away?
00:25:58.940 Oh, because Ryan, it's not my, it's not my fault.
00:26:01.160 It's not my thing.
00:26:02.320 Well, what if you decided to take responsibility for it?
00:26:05.960 Andy Frisilla, he talks about pee droplets on the toilet.
00:26:08.780 That's not your pee.
00:26:09.820 Hopefully you didn't pee on the toilet.
00:26:11.380 So just clean it up.
00:26:12.940 Just clean it up.
00:26:13.760 Oh, but I'm not, that's gross.
00:26:14.820 I'm not going to do that.
00:26:15.720 Okay.
00:26:16.000 Well then just keep living your mediocre life.
00:26:18.000 Now, a lot of guys are going to have a hard time connecting that.
00:26:20.480 Like what is wiping the toilet seat off have to do with being a master of your domain?
00:26:24.940 I'm telling you, if you adopt it in the mindset of these like small, seemingly insignificant
00:26:29.660 issues, like putting the cart away or picking up a piece of trash or wiping the seat
00:26:34.340 off, like you're going to implement that in other facets of your life.
00:26:41.000 You're going to, you're going to talk with your clients more assertively.
00:26:44.620 You're going to get the education and the training and the schooling and the skill sets
00:26:48.580 that you need because it's important.
00:26:50.340 And you realize it's important.
00:26:51.840 Everything is important.
00:26:52.900 So take responsibility.
00:26:54.240 Number three, make a stand, have a vision for what you want to accomplish.
00:26:57.900 Know what you'll stand for.
00:26:59.040 Know what you won't stand for.
00:27:00.120 Number four, communicate that effectively to the people who will be impacted by the decisions
00:27:04.740 that you're going to be making your wife, your children, your employees, your colleagues, 0.69
00:27:08.740 your coworkers, your clients, your friends, whoever is going to be impacted by what you're
00:27:13.540 doing.
00:27:13.920 Be able to communicate that effectively and gain that, gain that knowledge, which leads into
00:27:18.340 point number five is be worth following morality and capability.
00:27:22.360 You can't just be capable.
00:27:23.800 If you're not a moral human being, nobody's going to follow you.
00:27:25.600 You might be the best, whatever salesman, power lifter, jujitsu practitioner, communicator.
00:27:34.280 But if you're not moral, people aren't going to tune, tune into it.
00:27:38.100 And you can't just be moral without having some sort of capability to go with it.
00:27:42.920 So be worth following.
00:27:44.120 And point number six is have that willingness to walk alone because you'll need to, if you're
00:27:48.840 making improvements and changes in your life, you're going to notice very quickly that
00:27:52.580 people are going to be hesitant to follow you might be because your track record.
00:27:56.680 It might be an indicator of something that they may be dealing with, but for whatever
00:28:00.320 reason, you're going to walk alone for a while and it's okay.
00:28:03.120 You need to be okay with it.
00:28:04.340 And if you are okay with it and you walk alone and you follow these other five steps, in addition
00:28:09.100 to that six step, you're going to find you're not going to walk alone for long because people
00:28:13.780 are going to believe in you.
00:28:14.580 They're going to rally behind you.
00:28:15.960 They're going to recognize you as the master, the king of your domain, and they're going to want
00:28:19.980 to be led by you directly or indirectly.
00:28:22.540 So there it is, guys.
00:28:23.620 I hope that helps.
00:28:24.760 I mean, 30 minutes isn't a lot of time to talk about these issues, but you know what?
00:28:28.660 If you like what we have to share, you can do a couple of different things.
00:28:33.360 First, subscribe to the podcast.
00:28:35.040 We're talking about this every single week and they're very powerful strategies for you
00:28:39.840 showing up as a man.
00:28:40.920 In addition, I would encourage you to join our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council.
00:28:45.840 This is a band of brothers, 500 and I want to say 30 members roughly.
00:28:49.980 Give or take, uh, who are all leading themselves, leading each other, communicating about this
00:28:55.980 stuff, developing new skillsets, uh, holding each other accountable and putting each other's
00:29:00.300 feet to the fire on what it is they want to accomplish.
00:29:02.360 And it's a very, very powerful way for you to band with other men who want to achieve
00:29:06.880 and want to see you achieve.
00:29:08.540 You can check that out at order of man.com slash iron council.
00:29:12.760 Guys, we'll be back on Tuesday of next week for another powerful, powerful interview.
00:29:17.340 Make sure you subscribe.
00:29:18.840 And as a parting note, I would also ask that you leave a rating and review goes a very,
00:29:25.020 very long way on iTunes.
00:29:26.400 If you would, uh, for promoting the visibility of the show.
00:29:29.380 So give us a five-star rating, give us a quick review, tell us how good this show is.
00:29:34.200 And, uh, yeah, that'll help.
00:29:36.900 Okay.
00:29:37.420 Be the master of your domain guys.
00:29:39.240 Subscribe.
00:29:39.480 If you're on YouTube, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.
00:29:43.940 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:29:46.840 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:29:50.860 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.