Order of Man - December 12, 2025


Your Standards ＞ Your Goals ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

39 minutes

Words per Minute

158.30066

Word Count

6,178

Sentence Count

533

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

Most men get the concept that I'm going to talk about today completely backwards because most men, especially as we roll into the new year, they obsess over goals, the outcomes of their desires, the achievements they hope will make them feel successful in life. But there's a truth that every man needs to understand and that is that goals don't necessarily build men's standards, standards do. And the reason that so many men stall or they drift in life or even collapse is because their goals are loud, they're boisterous, and they're visible, but their standards are weak.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 A man rises or falls to the level of his standards, not his ambitions, not his desires,
00:00:07.960 not his goals and dreams and everything else. He rises or falls to the level of his standards.
00:00:13.880 There's a couple of reasons. Number one, goals are really a lot of times just emotionally
00:00:18.680 dependent. Too many men stop chasing their goals and they can justify it. Like I really wanted to
00:00:23.740 do that thing, but you know, I was tired and we stopped chasing our goals because life will always
00:00:29.220 give you an excuse. Most men get the concept that I'm going to talk with you about today
00:00:34.540 completely backwards because most men, what they do, especially as we roll into the new year,
00:00:41.180 they obsess over goals, the outcomes of their desires, the achievements, the shiny object target
00:00:49.880 they hope will make them feel successful in life. But there's a truth that every man needs to
00:00:55.620 understand. And that is that goals don't necessarily build men standards do. And the reason that so many
00:01:04.760 men stall or they drift in life or even collapse is because their goals, they're loud, they're,
00:01:13.120 they're boisterous, they're, they're visible, but their standards are weak. Now I've been in this
00:01:19.900 position before where I have these big audacious things that I want to accomplish,
00:01:23.440 but my methods and my means for accomplishing them are lackluster at best. So today we're going to
00:01:30.900 be diving into why standards matter more than your goals and how redefining your personal standards
00:01:37.960 will change your entire life. Because I'm not just worried about the end of 2025. I'm not worried
00:01:44.220 about 2026. I'm worried about your life. And if I can't teach you things and show you things and give
00:01:49.280 you insight or ideas that it's going to change your entire life, then I feel like I might be failing
00:01:55.940 you. So I want to talk about why goals are simply their hopes, their dreams. They're good. They're
00:02:07.820 meaningful. I'm not, I'm not discounting them necessarily, but there's something more important
00:02:12.500 than that. And that's standards because standards define who you are. Standards define who you are
00:02:20.700 as a man. Goals and objectives, those things live out in the future and they're, they're volatile.
00:02:26.880 They, they may not ever come to fruition, not only because you may not do the things necessary to
00:02:32.280 achieve them, but because there's external factors at work against you. But standards,
00:02:38.940 those things live in your identity. That that's who you are. A goal is something you want, but a
00:02:45.680 standard is something or yeah, something that you are, you know, for example, a man can say, I want to
00:02:52.660 lose 20 pounds. Um, or I want to make $200,000 a year, or I want a stronger marriage. There's nothing
00:03:01.300 wrong with those goals. Those, those are worthy things to pursue, but just wanting something has never
00:03:08.040 made you or anybody else powerful. In fact, in a lot of ways, it's made you feel inferior because
00:03:16.820 you acknowledge that if you want to make $200,000, but you're only making a hundred thousand dollars,
00:03:21.020 then there's something wrong with you. And it makes you feel inferior, but standards are different.
00:03:29.780 Standards say, for example, that instead of, I want to lose 20 pounds, it says, I'm going to train
00:03:36.060 five days a week, no matter what, or I tell the truth even when it's uncomfortable or even when it
00:03:44.380 costs me something. Um, I don't tolerate being disrespected in my home. Another one, I finish what I
00:03:54.080 start. This is one I need to work on myself. Another standard might be, I lead my family with
00:04:00.780 clarity and direction and purpose and presence. And that's what I want you guys to get out of this
00:04:08.960 conversation is that standards are behaviors. They're, they're rules. It's a standard operating
00:04:14.280 procedure. It's code that you hold yourself to with zero negotiation. It's not like, Oh, maybe I will.
00:04:22.100 Maybe I won't. No, that's your standard. You will because goals, they evaporate.
00:04:26.280 The moment that life gets challenging or difficult or hard, or there are circumstances beyond your
00:04:35.120 control, but the standards you have harden you because life is hard. And I'll give you an example
00:04:43.180 years ago for, I think four years ago, I had a catastrophic injury. I ruptured my pectoral
00:04:51.360 tendon, tendon, complete rupture. It's trading jujitsu, did something stupid with, uh, a black belt,
00:04:57.840 Brian Littlefield up in Maine and not his fault at all. Uh, he was playing great jujitsu. I was not
00:05:05.400 and I hurt myself. And I, I remember feeling the pop when that tendon ruptured
00:05:12.100 and I could have wallowed in my own self pity. I could have thrown myself this little pity party.
00:05:19.180 I could have cried and complained about why all the bad shit happens to me. But instead I thought
00:05:22.920 to myself, you know what, I'm going to keep training. I'm going to do it differently because
00:05:26.960 my standard is I'm going to go train three to four to five days a week with jujitsu. And so
00:05:30.780 I would show up to jujitsu and I would watch other people roll. I'd watch other people train.
00:05:37.660 I would do lunges. I would do air squats, uh, box jumps. I would do what I could because I had to
00:05:45.100 have a surgery to, to repair the tendon, but I would do what I could, but I continue to show up.
00:05:50.740 And then when I finally got back into training, which was about three months post injury or post
00:05:56.420 surgery, I should say, I had somebody comment. They said, man, you're better than you were before.
00:06:01.440 And that was true because I was recovered. I was healed. I continued to watch. And I said,
00:06:07.860 yeah, I'm better because I actually took the last three months and I watched you guys train and I
00:06:13.280 know what you're going to do. And I know what that guy's going to do. And I know what that guy's going
00:06:16.800 to do. So yeah, I should be better. If the goal was to just be the best at jujitsu and train all the
00:06:23.160 time, that was beyond my control at that point. I could not train. I had to have myself in a sling
00:06:29.520 24 seven. I had to learn to fall asleep on my back and prop a couple of pillows under my elbow
00:06:38.040 because I couldn't, I couldn't move my arm in order to heal the ruptured tendon.
00:06:46.900 But I kept training in a way that worked for me. And my standard was I'm going to keep going.
00:06:51.020 And I came back better than I was before. And here's the key.
00:06:55.020 A man rises or falls to the level of his standards, not his ambitions, not his desires,
00:07:06.700 not his goals and dreams and everything else. He rises or falls to the level of his standards.
00:07:13.280 And I want you to understand why goals fail, because this is important. We're talking about
00:07:17.360 this right now because we're rolling into 2026, but goals fail men a lot of times.
00:07:24.760 And I'm not saying goals aren't important. They're a good starting point. And then we have
00:07:28.800 to reverse engineer back into our standards or what I call our tactics. But the reason that most
00:07:34.380 goals fail for men is not because they lack the motivation. It's not because they build their
00:07:42.840 lives on the, on the wrong foundation. That's not what it is at all. There's a couple of reasons.
00:07:48.480 Number one, goals are really, frankly, a lot of times just emotionally dependent
00:07:53.760 because if you're tired or you're stressed or you're discouraged or you're busy or you're anxious
00:08:01.480 or you're distracted, too many men stop chasing their goals and they can justify it. Like I really
00:08:08.840 wanted to do that thing, but you know, I was tired. I really wanted to pursue that relationship,
00:08:13.940 but fill in the blank with your excuse of choice. And we rationalize and we justify our inaction
00:08:19.740 and we stop chasing our goals because life will always give you an excuse.
00:08:27.740 You will always give yourself an excuse. You know yourself better than anybody else,
00:08:32.100 consciously and subconsciously. And you can talk yourself out of anything and you can actually
00:08:38.520 justify and rationalize it. And it sounds really good to you because you know what you need to hear
00:08:44.440 in order to get out of the commitments that you've made. Number two, goals delay action.
00:08:53.440 So a man yourself, maybe I've done this in the past. You might keep saying, I'll start on Monday.
00:08:59.420 I'll start next week. I'll start January 1st of 2026.
00:09:04.340 Because your mind is trapped in the future.
00:09:09.940 When, when my circumstances change, then I'll do the thing I want to do.
00:09:14.500 And guys, your, your circumstances aren't going to change until you start changing your behavior.
00:09:21.880 So many guys are like, Oh, when I'm not so busy, when are you going to not be so busy?
00:09:25.560 You know, how many, how many of you have been telling your wife, Hey babe, you know, I'll take
00:09:30.860 you on that vacation. I planned next year, next year, next year, next year. Another one I often
00:09:35.940 hear is 2026 is my year. And that guy said 2025 is my year. And that guy said 2024 is my year.
00:09:44.280 2023, 2024, 2025. That was just a wrap, a warmup. How, how many years of warming up do you need?
00:09:52.620 We do it even financially. We think, okay, I'll put this on a credit card because next year I'll be
00:10:00.020 making more money. Why, why, why will you be making more money next year? What are you doing
00:10:04.840 to actually improve your financial position relative to what it is today? Goals delay action
00:10:12.120 next year, next month, next week, and on and on and on for the rest of your life.
00:10:19.840 But standards, they anchor you in the present, in the current moment, because the standard says,
00:10:25.880 I'm going to do the work today because as we talked about, it's your identity because that's who I am.
00:10:32.020 I'm going to go to the gym today, not to lose 20 pounds, but because that's what a man of my caliber
00:10:37.320 does. I'm going to show up for my wife and serve her and do date night and court her the same way
00:10:45.420 I did 20 or 15 or 10 years ago when I was dating her, because that's what a man of my caliber would
00:10:51.580 do. Now you might say, my goal is to have a thriving marriage and that's wonderful, but what are you
00:10:56.920 doing? What is your standard to create a thriving marriage? I do the work today because that's who I am.
00:11:05.080 Number three, goals don't survive adversity. They don't stand up to stress. They really don't.
00:11:15.920 Because when your marriage hits some turbulence or when your business loses momentum
00:11:23.900 or when you get injured, like I just said, you get injured or overwhelmed with life,
00:11:29.380 your goals go out the window. If my goal was to have my brown belt by filling the blank date and
00:11:38.240 then I get injured, good news, nothing I can do about it. I can't improve myself anymore. I can't
00:11:48.380 work on that brown belt. And so I guess I'm just SOL.
00:11:51.960 Well, goals don't survive adversity because we give ourselves justifications and reasons to overcome
00:12:01.260 them or to ignore them. I should say standards. On the other hand, they show up even in the adversity,
00:12:10.420 even in this challenge. I just gave you that example. If my standard is to go train jujitsu
00:12:16.120 three to five days a week, that train jujitsu can mean a lot of different things,
00:12:23.620 right? Train jujitsu could mean physically trained. It could mean study, which is what I was doing. It
00:12:29.520 could be training my body so that I'm more capable. It could be doing hot yoga, which is a good, a good
00:12:34.200 friend of mine is doing because he's, he's got a frozen shoulder, um, from years of neglecting it.
00:12:40.380 But a standard stands a test of time. It doesn't, doesn't matter. Adversity doesn't change your
00:12:47.000 standard. If your standard is I'm going to get out of bed, even if I'm tired,
00:12:51.440 when you're tired, you're still going to get out of bed. You just, it is what it is.
00:12:58.640 Standards were built for that adversity. They're built for that storm. They're built for that struggle
00:13:03.180 because they say, I'm going to do this in spite of whatever I might be dealing with.
00:13:08.840 And number four guys is goals create pressure, probably even unnecessary pressure, but standards,
00:13:18.200 they create structure in your life. So where goals create pressure, standards create structure.
00:13:24.200 Goals drain you. I have to do this thing. I'm obligated to do this thing. I got to pursue this
00:13:29.880 thing, but standards, they strengthen you, right? I get to wake up and on time, I get to go to the
00:13:38.680 gym. I get to train hard. I get to love my wife. I get to love my kids. And then you create the
00:13:45.720 discipline around it. All right. The next thing I want to talk with you guys about is how standards
00:13:52.480 transform you as a man. When a man upgrades his standards, everything else changes almost
00:14:03.640 unreasonably fast. I've been trying to lose weight. I'm down about 17 pounds in the past several months.
00:14:13.440 And I had this goal, like I told you earlier, I'm going to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year.
00:14:17.320 That's good. It's a good starting point. That's my goal. That's my objective. But I reversed
00:14:22.920 engineered back into standards. And I said, okay, my standard is that I don't eat junk food,
00:14:27.880 that I don't eat processed sugar, minus my energy drinks. I still do that. But everything else,
00:14:33.340 I don't. I did have a chocolate covered cinnamon bear the other day. But outside of that, I don't.
00:14:40.320 Um, that I get sleep, that I don't gorge myself on unnecessary food. And I'm down, like I said,
00:14:50.720 16, 17 pounds because of that. Not because of my goal, but because I reverse engineered into the
00:14:56.220 behavior that I have. And so the standards that you have for yourself, they eliminate your confusion.
00:15:03.440 Like you no longer need to ask, should I, or should I not do this or be engaged in this thing? I don't
00:15:10.260 need to ask myself if I can treat myself with 17 chocolate covered cinnamon bears.
00:15:19.220 My standard is the standard. And I, and I did deviate when I had that candy the other day. That's okay.
00:15:25.460 I can do that every once in a while, but my standard is I don't do that. And so there's no
00:15:30.700 confusion about the way that I show up. My answer is already predetermined. I just simply execute it.
00:15:38.560 So should I have the extra food? No, I've already decided that. Should I have the candy? No,
00:15:46.000 I already made that decision. Should I entertain that flirty conversation with my coworker or with
00:15:54.740 the woman at church? No, I've already made up my mind that I'm going to be faithful to the woman that
00:15:59.420 I've decided to be faithful to. Should I make that extra sales call or not? No, of course I should
00:16:07.240 make it. I already decided that I'm going to make it. This is what I do. The answer is already
00:16:13.580 predetermined. And I can't tell you how often, and I see this a lot when men cheat, where they'll tell
00:16:19.660 me, Ryan, I just got wrapped up in the moment. It was a mistake. I just, I just got swept up and
00:16:26.680 one thing led to another. That's a man who's not in control of his life because the goal is to have
00:16:35.000 a lasting, thriving marriage. You would not be in marriage if you didn't want that of yourself,
00:16:40.220 but you got wrapped up in the moment because your standard wasn't already set. And so you can tell
00:16:48.180 yourself, well, you know, she came onto me and I just got wrapped up in the moment. She gave me
00:16:52.880 attention. She helped validate me. And so I just got lost up in the moment. No, the standard is I
00:16:58.120 don't flirt with other women. The standard is I don't find myself alone in the company of other women.
00:17:09.180 And that leads to a good marriage among other things.
00:17:12.680 Next guys, standards build trust in yourself, trust in yourself. And that's important. And also
00:17:20.700 from others, because your wife will stop wondering which version of you is going to show up. The guy
00:17:26.780 who's going to walk in the door and your kids will consistently see that you're stable, not chaotic.
00:17:33.560 And I've been the opposite of this in my life.
00:17:35.900 My ex-wife, as we were going through our divorce said, she had to put on this armor
00:17:45.720 and prepare the kids when I was done with work.
00:17:53.940 It's kind of heartbreaking actually.
00:17:58.580 Because she didn't know which version of me she was going to get.
00:18:01.920 Was she going to get the calm, rational, caring, level-headed Ryan? Or was she going to get the
00:18:11.740 dramatic, pissed off, fiery, unfiltered version?
00:18:18.900 There's no stability in that. There's no trust in that. There's no credibility in that.
00:18:24.420 It's not any wonder why she was so unhappy in our relationship.
00:18:28.320 Your team, whether it's your clients or your colleagues or your co-workers, your employees,
00:18:35.500 your employers, your kids, your wife.
00:18:40.640 What they want when it comes to safety and security is they want to see a man who shows
00:18:44.940 up the same way every single day. Ironically, this is why so many women stay in abusive relationships.
00:18:51.100 Because the fear of the unknown and uncertainty is greater than the stability of you acting like
00:18:56.660 a fool. I'm not advocating for that by any means, but it is an interesting
00:19:03.380 human experiment. Why do people stay in toxic situations?
00:19:10.480 Because they're more comfortable with the toxicity
00:19:12.900 than they are the fear of what could happen if they change their environment.
00:19:19.240 And if that doesn't illustrate
00:19:20.680 why you as a man need to create state, safety, and stability in your life, I don't know what does.
00:19:25.040 The next thing, guys, is standards make you anti-fragile.
00:19:32.840 Because your goals, they can crumble when life punches you.
00:19:37.660 Right? When you get kicked in the dick, proverbially or physically,
00:19:41.440 that changes things.
00:19:45.200 And all of a sudden, our plans go to complete garbage.
00:19:50.080 Was it Mike Tyson who said everybody has a plan until he gets punched in the face?
00:19:53.220 Yeah. You're going to get punched in the face.
00:19:56.540 Sometimes you're going to be the one punching yourself in the face.
00:19:59.420 And sometimes somebody else is going to punch you in the face.
00:20:03.240 But the standards that you have for yourself, those are going to absorb the punches.
00:20:08.500 And you're going to stand firm.
00:20:09.980 So when Mike Tyson says everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.
00:20:15.080 Okay.
00:20:16.920 Plan's got to change.
00:20:18.040 Coach, I just got hit in the face.
00:20:20.060 It hurt.
00:20:20.760 It wasn't comfortable.
00:20:21.900 Took me out of my game.
00:20:23.420 Well, still got to show up.
00:20:25.600 So you go back to your corner.
00:20:27.060 You sit down on your bench.
00:20:28.560 Coach yells at you.
00:20:29.660 Tells you what you need to do.
00:20:30.840 You get back up.
00:20:31.740 You engage in the fight.
00:20:32.780 And then you live to your standard, which was your training.
00:20:37.440 The other thing, guys, is that standards create momentum.
00:20:40.060 Because you're not waiting to feel good before you do a thing.
00:20:45.940 You're not waiting until circumstances are perfect.
00:20:51.860 Let me paint a scenario for you.
00:20:53.660 Imagine I'm in southern Utah, two hours northeast of Las Vegas.
00:21:00.340 And imagine I wanted to take my family to Las Vegas and go catch a show or go Christmas shopping or whatever down there.
00:21:07.500 It's two hours from here.
00:21:08.320 And I said, all right, guys, we've got a plan.
00:21:10.660 Here's how we're going to go.
00:21:11.480 Here's the route we're going to take.
00:21:12.660 Here's the road we're going to drive on.
00:21:13.960 But we're not going to go until all the lights are green.
00:21:17.780 Once all the lights are green, then we'll go.
00:21:21.420 I would never leave.
00:21:24.980 You would never go anywhere.
00:21:28.220 And that's what some of you guys are doing.
00:21:29.920 You're saying, I'm going to start a business in 2026 when I have time.
00:21:34.340 When the market is right.
00:21:36.340 When my wife is on board.
00:21:38.320 When my cryptocurrency reaches a certain level.
00:21:43.080 When my physical fitness is this.
00:21:45.500 If everything is contingent upon other things, you're never going to move forward.
00:21:50.660 But if you operate from the position of standards, you're doing it because your identity demands that from you.
00:21:56.080 And my identity and the people who are closest in my life.
00:22:00.600 And I've got a handful of men who are closest in my life.
00:22:02.840 And they're probably listening to this podcast.
00:22:04.460 And they would affirm this.
00:22:06.600 Is they would say, I think they would say above anything else that Ryan is good at moving forward and taking action.
00:22:13.620 Despite not knowing where exactly it's going to take him.
00:22:18.980 Now, that's a strength and a weakness.
00:22:21.000 I'll give you that.
00:22:22.120 But they would all say that about me.
00:22:24.480 Because that's my identity.
00:22:26.860 That is who I am.
00:22:28.660 That is so ingrained and etched into my DNA, into my soul.
00:22:32.900 That I cannot operate any differently.
00:22:35.260 Unless I rewrite the code.
00:22:38.200 I'm not interested in rewriting it.
00:22:39.600 But it's my code.
00:22:43.120 2 plus 2 is 4.
00:22:44.880 It's not 7.
00:22:45.780 It's not 3.
00:22:46.580 It's not 9.
00:22:47.480 It's 4.
00:22:50.460 My code is you move in spite of not having all the answers.
00:22:55.600 It's not maybe.
00:22:56.800 It's not someday.
00:22:57.740 It's not kinda.
00:22:58.620 It's not sorta.
00:22:59.860 My code is you go forward.
00:23:03.040 That's the standard.
00:23:05.800 And the moment a man begins acting in alignment, we call this integrity, with his identity,
00:23:13.700 a higher identity of who he is, is the moment that life begins to match that identity.
00:23:20.680 Not eventually.
00:23:21.860 Not someday down the road.
00:23:23.180 Immediately.
00:23:23.800 Today.
00:23:24.880 You know, how many times have you told yourself,
00:23:27.460 well, you know, I'm not a writer.
00:23:29.920 And so you don't write the book you wanted to.
00:23:31.700 Well, you know, I'm not a runner.
00:23:33.140 And so you don't run the marathon you wanted to.
00:23:34.920 Well, you know, I'm not.
00:23:36.260 My dad taught me bad habits about being a good husband.
00:23:39.420 And so you're not a good husband.
00:23:43.200 You're tying your action to your identity.
00:23:50.560 And if you want to create new and different results in your life, you have to have a new identity.
00:23:55.740 And this is why some men, they make more progress in 30 or 60 or 90 days.
00:24:01.240 I work in 90-day segments.
00:24:02.640 In 90 days of discipline than they have made maybe even the past three years because they stopped trying to hit this target.
00:24:10.000 And instead, they started becoming a man who just does the right things.
00:24:17.140 When I was a financial advisor, gosh, I started probably 50, probably close to 20 years ago now.
00:24:26.880 Yeah, about 18 years ago.
00:24:28.460 And I had a mentor and a coach and he said to me, he said, Ryan, you have everything it takes to be successful, but you're not.
00:24:38.940 And you will be successful the minute that you learn to light yourself on fire and let other people watch you burn.
00:24:45.600 I remember that.
00:24:50.200 I remember him telling me that.
00:24:52.480 And I was so worried about all of these other things that I couldn't control.
00:24:56.200 And what I realized is that he was saying, just go out and do the work and let the chips fall where they may.
00:25:01.960 Man, if you go to the gym every day for 45 minutes, 4, 5, 6, 7 days a week, you're going to lose 20 pounds, of course.
00:25:11.520 If you connect with your wife and you give her flowers one day and you leave a note on the mirror the next day and you stay a little longer in bed with her and wrap her up in your arms and you cuddle her the next day and on a weekend you plan a date and you take her out, you're going to build a thriving marriage.
00:25:32.740 What's the standard?
00:25:33.680 The last point that I want to make with you guys is how you can build standards that stick.
00:25:43.140 And this is the practical part.
00:25:44.860 This is the part where we actually put into practice what I'm talking about.
00:25:48.180 And it's four very simple steps.
00:25:51.240 And it's going to create standards that you actually live by.
00:25:53.600 So step one is to identify the man that you refuse to be.
00:25:59.700 A little different than you've heard.
00:26:01.060 Identify the man that you refuse to be.
00:26:02.520 Because before you choose who you want to become, you have to decide who you will no longer tolerate of yourself.
00:26:09.640 Are you a man who breaks promises?
00:26:11.620 No.
00:26:14.300 Are you going to be a man who lies to himself?
00:26:16.700 No.
00:26:19.620 Are you going to be a man who hides behind your excuses?
00:26:25.600 Or a man who coasts?
00:26:27.420 Or a man who's there physically, but not engaged, not present.
00:26:35.120 You need to burn that identity to the ground.
00:26:38.280 You're not going to be that guy anymore.
00:26:40.220 Because that guy has got you the results that you're currently experiencing.
00:26:43.860 And you're probably not happy to varying degrees with the results that you're experiencing.
00:26:48.320 So who do you reject?
00:26:50.540 Who are you repulsed by?
00:26:52.120 When I was heavy into my LDS faith, and I'm no longer LDS or Mormon, but there was a prayer that was often given.
00:27:06.100 And I heard this multiple times in my life as a young man, and as a prayer was being given to me, and I appreciated it.
00:27:14.560 Part of the prayer was, please let sin become repulsive to Ryan.
00:27:21.460 Please let the things that he's tempted by to become disgusting and repulsive to him.
00:27:32.700 And that's powerful.
00:27:35.500 You have to become that guy.
00:27:38.960 Where the things that you're doing wrong, maybe it's flirting with other women.
00:27:43.200 Maybe it's watching pornography.
00:27:45.000 Maybe it's unnecessary spending.
00:27:49.200 Maybe it's addiction to screens, social media, binge-watching Netflix, etc., etc., sports games.
00:27:56.640 That has to become repulsive to you.
00:27:59.600 Not just, I don't want to do that, but that's repulsive.
00:28:02.220 Because that's not what a man of my caliber would do.
00:28:06.380 And when you start thinking about it like that, man, you're going to be unstoppable.
00:28:09.200 Step number two is you have to build non-negotiables into the four quadrants of your life.
00:28:14.340 And the four quadrants of your life are, number one, calibration.
00:28:18.080 Mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
00:28:22.140 Number two, the connection that you have with other people.
00:28:24.740 The relationships you have with your wife and your kids and your colleagues and coworkers and friends.
00:28:29.720 Number three, your condition, your physical health.
00:28:32.960 And number four, contribution, becoming a man of value.
00:28:36.220 So as an example, if we're talking about calibration, again, spiritual, mental, and emotional health,
00:28:41.760 your standard might be that I'm going to read 30 minutes every single day,
00:28:46.540 or I'm going to journal, or I'm going to reflect.
00:28:48.980 And if I pull up my battle plan, which is right here, I have non-negotiables in here, and I'll pull them up.
00:28:56.700 Here they are.
00:28:57.860 Bible study every day.
00:28:59.860 Pray every day.
00:29:01.860 Train my body.
00:29:03.320 Physically train my body.
00:29:04.660 Journal and reflect.
00:29:05.860 It's in my battle plan.
00:29:08.460 I have goals associated with it.
00:29:10.480 I'm not saying I don't.
00:29:11.700 But that's the most important thing.
00:29:14.780 If it's connection, it might be weekly date night.
00:29:21.000 Or daily meaningful conversation with your kids or your wife.
00:29:27.880 If it's condition, it might be 45 minutes of physical training and no zero days.
00:29:37.200 You don't need to go 100% every day, but maybe your recovery day consists of a 45-minute walk
00:29:42.940 or some hot yoga or stretching.
00:29:47.960 But your standard is 45 minutes of physical training.
00:29:52.600 If it's contribution, again, becoming a man of value, maybe it's serving somebody every single week.
00:29:59.500 Maybe it's looking for opportunities to be a man of value.
00:30:02.340 Just the other day, I was driving two hours north of where I live,
00:30:06.580 and I got about halfway through my drive.
00:30:08.720 I saw this big dirt cloud in the median as I was driving northbound,
00:30:13.220 and it was clear that somebody had crashed.
00:30:15.600 And I pulled off to the side.
00:30:16.860 I looked behind me.
00:30:17.660 Nobody's coming.
00:30:18.320 I flipped around.
00:30:19.100 Another black Ford Raptor flipped around.
00:30:21.320 A guy who was traveling southbound stopped and pulled over,
00:30:24.720 and we were all sprinting to this guy.
00:30:27.720 And fortunately, there was a highway patrol officer that was probably several hundred yards behind me,
00:30:33.380 and he pulled over, and he got there before any of us three guys did.
00:30:37.800 And the man who was in an accident, he had rolled his vehicle.
00:30:41.200 He was probably distracted, I imagine.
00:30:43.620 I don't know, but I think he was probably texting or distracted.
00:30:46.200 And he got out of his car.
00:30:48.120 I watched him get out of his car, and he's holding his head, and he collapses on the ground.
00:30:51.640 Not out of injury, but just exhaustion or stress or shock.
00:31:01.820 And everything was fine.
00:31:05.640 Long story short, everything was fine.
00:31:06.880 I was dismissed because I didn't actually see the accident.
00:31:09.220 I just saw the dust cloud, and I was dismissed by the officer who did a tremendous job,
00:31:12.660 Utah Highway Patrol, and I was dismissed.
00:31:19.340 And I thought, well, that was a great opportunity for me to be a man of value.
00:31:23.940 That opportunity was placed before me so that I could prove to myself that I am becoming a man of value.
00:31:32.040 So it might be serving somebody weekly and looking for those opportunities.
00:31:37.300 It might be exercising some financial stewardship over your resources, paying down debt, budgeting, etc., etc.
00:31:45.280 These aren't just suggestions.
00:31:46.640 They're standards.
00:31:48.720 Step three is to build accountability around your standards.
00:31:52.640 Because without accountability, they are just more suggestions.
00:31:56.640 This is why brotherhood matters.
00:31:57.960 This is why the Iron Council works.
00:32:01.320 When another man looks you in the eye and says, did you do what you said you would do?
00:32:07.240 Your standards stop being this abstract theory and concept, and they start becoming real.
00:32:16.060 So do you have accountability?
00:32:17.380 Do you have other men in your life who are saying, hey, you said you would do that thing.
00:32:20.120 Did you do it?
00:32:21.700 If you don't have that, you're missing something in your life.
00:32:24.540 And the last step, step number four, is to enforce consequences when you violate your own standards.
00:32:31.460 Because they're meaningless without consequences.
00:32:34.580 You know, you can draw a line in the sand, but if you don't put up barriers and consequences in that line in the sand,
00:32:41.460 then just wipe it away because it doesn't actually mean anything.
00:32:44.980 So if you break one of your standards, you have to pay a penance.
00:32:50.120 You have to pay a cost.
00:32:51.200 Maybe it's extra training.
00:32:55.160 Maybe it's, you know, no chocolate-covered cinnamon bears for you.
00:33:00.620 Or no entertainment.
00:33:02.300 Or maybe you just have to do extra service.
00:33:04.040 You're like, I missed the boat today.
00:33:05.400 I got to make up for it.
00:33:06.440 Or it's a loss of a privilege.
00:33:07.760 It's not punishment.
00:33:09.620 That's what we need to understand.
00:33:10.940 You're not punishing yourself.
00:33:11.980 It's alignment.
00:33:14.620 It's integrity.
00:33:15.840 That's the definition of integrity.
00:33:17.640 When your words match your thoughts.
00:33:22.000 When your actions match your thought process.
00:33:25.280 Because you have to be training yourself that violating your own standard is not acceptable to you.
00:33:33.160 It should not be acceptable.
00:33:34.960 It should not be okay.
00:33:35.940 It should be repulsive, as I said earlier.
00:33:38.000 So here's my call to action for you guys.
00:33:39.680 And I'll wrap this up with this.
00:33:41.980 And I want you to hear this clearly.
00:33:44.900 You do not, the same way I do not, become a powerful man by pursuing big, hairy, audacious goals, like everybody says.
00:33:53.160 It's a good starting point.
00:33:55.180 Especially as we roll into 2026.
00:33:56.800 But you become a powerful man by becoming the kind of man who keeps powerful standards.
00:34:04.060 Those goals are going to come and go.
00:34:05.820 How many times have your goals changed over the past 20 years?
00:34:08.860 Based on your circumstances.
00:34:11.540 They're going to come and go.
00:34:13.280 Sometimes they're going to be more ambitious, less ambitious, but they're going to change.
00:34:17.700 But your standards are going to define you.
00:34:20.040 So this week I want you to write something down.
00:34:22.260 A few things down.
00:34:22.940 Number one, write down three standards that you must elevate immediately.
00:34:31.540 Three standards that you must elevate immediately.
00:34:35.060 Maybe it's training.
00:34:36.220 Maybe it's working out.
00:34:37.220 Maybe it's difficult conversations you need to have.
00:34:40.240 Maybe it's more presence in the home or more presence at work.
00:34:43.540 So three standards you're going to live by and elevate immediately.
00:34:47.400 Number two, two standards that you already have to enforce harder.
00:34:52.780 Maybe you have said, I'm going to work out every day this week.
00:34:55.280 But you haven't.
00:34:57.840 Maybe you said, I'm going to have certain guidelines or certain rules of conduct when it comes to how my wife and I are going to communicate.
00:35:08.780 And you let those standards slip.
00:35:10.820 Which are you going to enforce more strictly?
00:35:13.180 And number three is just one standard that you have to eliminate because it's too low.
00:35:19.080 For example, I'm going to brush my teeth every day this week.
00:35:22.560 That shouldn't be a standard for you.
00:35:25.540 I'm going to take a shower every day.
00:35:28.920 Guys, this is not.
00:35:30.880 And I know I'm using an extreme example.
00:35:33.280 That's not going to serve you.
00:35:35.720 I'm going to wake up when my alarm goes off.
00:35:38.380 Okay.
00:35:39.720 Like elevate your standard.
00:35:41.140 Get something that's difficult and challenging.
00:35:43.820 So again, three standards you're going to elevate immediately.
00:35:49.520 Number two is two standards that you have to enforce more stringently.
00:35:53.320 And number three is one standard that you have to eliminate because it's just too low.
00:35:58.480 It's not even a standard.
00:36:01.820 And then share them with your friends.
00:36:04.740 Share them with your battle team in the Iron Council.
00:36:07.120 Share them with your brother.
00:36:08.360 Somebody who will hold you accountable.
00:36:09.980 Because a man without standards is, I believe, a man without direction.
00:36:16.300 He has an aim, which is good.
00:36:18.600 But he has no direction.
00:36:20.560 He's not moving forward towards that thing.
00:36:23.480 But a man with standards becomes, he becomes dangerous, frankly.
00:36:26.700 He becomes dependable.
00:36:28.460 He becomes unstoppable.
00:36:30.800 Guys, raise your standards.
00:36:32.000 And I promise you, as you roll into 2026, your life will raise with them as well.
00:36:38.920 If you need some help or accountability in this department, the Iron Council is open.
00:36:45.180 And this podcast is being released on Friday, December 12th.
00:36:51.360 We're going to be open for the next 18, 19 days for the Iron Council until the end of the year.
00:36:58.040 And I want you there with us.
00:37:00.960 Because this is the thing that we teach is how to have standards, how to have accountability, how to move forward in a purposeful direction with clarity and strength.
00:37:09.960 So, if you want to check it out, we've got a preview call coming up.
00:37:14.040 I'm going to pull up my calendar here.
00:37:16.000 I believe that's December 17th.
00:37:18.420 Yes, it is.
00:37:19.720 December 17th at 8 p.m. Eastern.
00:37:24.640 And I would love to see you there.
00:37:26.140 December 17th at 8 p.m. Eastern.
00:37:27.880 If you go to theironcouncil.com slash preview, you'll find out all about it.
00:37:32.780 But in the meantime, let's think about the action steps that I gave you.
00:37:36.740 So, again, number one, three standards that you're going to elevate today.
00:37:42.740 Number two is two standards you're going to enforce harder in your life.
00:37:47.520 And number three is one standard that you're just going to get rid of because it's not worth your time.
00:37:53.080 It's too low.
00:37:54.400 All right, guys.
00:37:54.880 That's what I've got for you today.
00:37:56.060 I hope you have a great weekend.
00:37:58.360 I hope that you will realize that your standards are greater than your goals.
00:38:04.100 And I hope you live that way because as I've changed my life this way and step more fully into the way that I will show up rather than who I want to become down the road, life has got better for me.
00:38:15.480 And I imagine that it will continue to get better for me as I continue to live this way.
00:38:20.280 Check out the Iron Council.
00:38:21.380 Theironcouncil.com slash preview December 17th at 8 p.m. Eastern.
00:38:25.400 Would love to have hundreds if not thousands of you on that call.
00:38:28.640 So, but until then, and until our Tuesday interview, go out there, take action, and become a man you are meant to be.
00:38:38.080 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:38:41.080 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.
00:38:48.220 Thank you.
00:38:57.660 Thank you.