Pearl - September 06, 2025＂Born Again Trad Wife＂ Can't Take Responsibility for Anything
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
183.24513
Summary
Brittany shares her story of how she left the porn industry at the age of 25, and how she found God in the midst of one of the most dangerous industries in the world. She talks about how she went from a broken and abusive childhood, to finding her purpose in life.
Transcript
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to put it on your childhood when you're born in America, one of the greatest places to be alive
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in the country ever, and one of the freest times ever to be alive, there's just no excuse. There's
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none. So I wanted to start with maybe your story, if that's all right with you. I've heard it on a
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few podcasts, but I just kind of wanted to reiterate it for the audience. So when did you
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get into porn? Actually, I'm going to say corn for the purpose of the show, if that's all right.
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Yeah. It was in 2005. I was 18 years old. Okay. And how long were you in the industry for? Do you
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want to talk about the conversion story? Yeah, of course. I was in the industry for seven years,
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and, uh, you want me to talk about what, as I got out or like, do you want anything in between?
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Yeah. I just want to hear it from start to finish. Like how old were you when you started? How long
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did you do it? Um, when did it end? How did it end? Okay. So from 18 to about 25, 20, almost 26.
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Um, and I honestly got into that industry, just super broken and looking for love in all the wrong
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places. Um, I had an encounter with God, uh, like my three and a half year mark. I had been using,
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uh, heroin and I couldn't get ahold of any and was just like, I'm going to end my life if I don't get
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help. And my grandmother came and she picked me up and I detoxed from her house or at her house. And
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then, uh, my grandfather who is remarried had been going to church with his wife and I asked if I
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could join them, went to church, um, received Jesus as my Lord and savior. Didn't really go back
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to church after that. Um, men were very much my weakness and I got involved in a relationship with
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a guy that was a pimp. And then I got back into the industry for another three or three and a half
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years. Um, but I really started to read the Bible and not with a deep understanding by any means. Um,
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and I started to just kind of hear from God, like, and I remember one day feeling like I need to leave
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this guy. And I was just like, I don't know who I'm going to call. And I felt the impression of God
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tell me to call my mom. And I'm just like, instantly, like, I can't call her, you know? And, um,
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he's just like, call humble yourself and call your mom. And so I did just that. And she came,
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picked me up. I got out of his house within, I don't know, a half hour or so. And then I went to
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go film what would become my very last porn scene. I brought my Bible on the airplane that day and
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I'm reading revelation chapter two, verse 20 through 23. And I'm paraphrasing, but it says that
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I have this thing against you. You tolerate that woman named Jezebel. She leads my people into sexual
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immorality. I've given her time to repent. If she doesn't repent, I'll cast her and all who commit
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immorality into a sick bed along with her. And in that moment, I'm just like crying on the airplane
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because it was kind of like the lights finally turned on in my life. I was obviously not a woman
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of conviction at that point in my life. And I feel just the grace of God come over me. And he's just
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like, Brittany, this is not the life that I have for you. The life that I have for you will overflow with
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so much love and peace and joy. And if you would quit this business today, I would bless your life
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like no man ever could. And I was broken. And that word just gave me so much hope that I quit the
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industry that day. And I started following Jesus after that. Okay. So you said you were super broken
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and looking for love in all the wrong places when you started. What does that mean? Super broken?
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I grew up in a very abusive household. I did not know my value or my worth. And then here's
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an industry that's not only promising money, but they feed you everything you want to hear
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like, Oh, you're beautiful. We love you. You know, all those words that I believe every
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child should hear as they're growing up in their household. And I started to hear those
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and it was kind of like just this pole. And then this promise of, Oh, you're going to be
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famous. And it was kind of like, well, if enough people know my name, then, you know, maybe
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Well, and you were pretty famous, weren't you? I mean, I wasn't, I think I was pretty
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I'm 28. So I'm assuming this was like 10 years ago, maybe.
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13 years ago. Yeah. So I don't think I would have known, but I mean, you were on Howard Stern.
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You did a bunch of like big shows. Is that true?
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Yep. I did Howard Stern a few times. Maxim Magazine named me their top 12 hottest porn stars.
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Won awards and things like that. I mean, nothing that I'm proud of, but yeah, I experienced what
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I wanted to experience in that industry, but it still wasn't enough.
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Okay. And you said, are you in a super abusive household? Is that like physical abuse, verbal
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abuse? Like what? Both and. Okay. And that was your mother or your father or both?
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My mom. Okay. You know, mothers are more likely to abuse children than fathers, but no one ever
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believes that stat. Yeah. Well, that was my experience. Yeah. Most people's. Okay. So then
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we're going to move on to the relationship with a pimp. So you started dating a pimp and then you
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became like a prostitute. I mean, yes, I was doing escorting before I met him. Um, and then getting
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into a relationship with him. Basically the difference was, you know, I was working and he was taking my
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money. Okay. One of my most proudest moments. Okay. So like, so this is over the
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course of like seven years, eight years, total seven years, seven years. Okay. And then you
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started to read the Bible and you started to hear from God and then you started to go to church,
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but it sounds like you kind of slid back. And then. Oh, you went to church once. Then you did more
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porn after, right? No. Then I got involved with the pimp. The pimp was actually a backslidden
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Christian. And I told him that I told him one day that I felt like I was just like demonically
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possessed. And he took me to church and I got baptized. I went to church a couple of times
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with him. Um, and then after that, I didn't really get active in church again until I left
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him. Okay. So then, so when you actually got back into the church, what were you doing then?
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Were you actually done with the porn the second time around?
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Yeah, I was done. I was completely done with porn. I had to look for a job for months because I didn't
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have a resume. What do you write on your resume when you've done porn since you're 18? Uh, there
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was a pretty big gap from my job at like 16, 17 to when I started applying. So, but I found a job. Uh,
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I started working as a receptionist making $11 and 25 cents an hour. It was very humbling. Um, but my bank
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account was empty, but my heart was full because I started to really encounter the love of God.
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Okay. And that was when you started, that was when you met your husband after that?
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I met my husband. We, we didn't, we got married about three years after I became a Christian.
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So I had met him. He was, uh, the young adult pastor at our church and he preached a message
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that literally changed my life. He was like, I have to tell the, like, he was like just speaking
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to the women in the audience. And he said, you need to know that, um, one of the things he said is that
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if you don't like what you're attracting, change what you're promoting. When I heard that it was kind of
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like, again, the lights went on, I'm like, Oh, duh. Like how obvious that I have been only attracting
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men that want me for my body because that's all that I promote. So I went home and like deleted
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all of my social media accounts that were attached to my former self, um, got rid of all provocative
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photos, uh, that, you know, that were on my pages. And then I also deleted the account. So.
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Okay. So how soon was it after that, that you began like doing what you're doing now? Like
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the podcasting, the, I don't know, I'm assuming you seem like you would do the, I went to Catholic
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school and we would have like chastity speakers. I don't know if you do something like that,
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but the listening to some of your stuff, it sounds like you, you may have done something
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similar. I mean, we've written a book on purity, but we took, we kind of redefined purity because
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there's this like toxic purity culture in the church where it was just so much emphasis on
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like, no, you know, masturbating, no sex before marriage, no this, but it was like, the focus
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was on the action versus the heart. So we redefined purity as it really is a heart issue. And yes,
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practicing celibacy is a part of it, but like the bigger issue is what's flowing from your heart.
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Yeah, I disagree. I think it's purity is not having sex.
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No, that's a huge part of it. But the word purity actually means to be undefiled.
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So there's many things that can defile your heart, gossip, uh, being critical, um, lying,
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stealing. There's many things, but purity is definitely a part of it. But the word purity
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in itself is undefiled, not no sex before marriage. Okay. So, um, I'm listening to your story
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and here's kind of the issue I get with like the born again, ho type of thing. I don't really feel
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like you guys take accountability for what you're doing because when I hear you tell me your story
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back, you always seem to point the blame on being broken and being, and being, and some,
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and the evil men. No, I'm not saying there were evil men. Yeah. I know. But when you say like,
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you know, I'm when you say like, Oh, this happened because I had an abusive childhood. There's lots of
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people with abusive childhoods that don't do that. That's true. It kind of takes away from the,
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you know, it'd be like if Jeffrey Dahmer came out and said, Oh, I murdered all these people because my
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mom was mean to me or my dad was mean to me. It takes a little bit away from the actual apology.
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Yeah. And it makes it seem less sincere when, you know, throughout the whole story, I never heard
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you say, Hey, I was horny. I enjoyed having sex on camera and I did it because I liked the attention.
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I didn't want to work. It was easy money and it was wrong. Yeah. Well, there's a few layers. I hear
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what you're saying. I totally do. But brokenness doesn't take away from accountability. I own up to
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everything that I did. I made the decision to get into porn. I made the decision to date a pimp.
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I actually did say that men were my weakness. So that's me taking accountability. I was weak.
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I want that. Not really. If you're saying men were the weakness. So you were the weakness.
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It was, well, I, it was like my kryptonite, right? Like I know because there's many women where men are
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their kryptonite and they don't have sex on camera. It's like not a hard thing to avoid, right? It's pretty
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easy to not have sex on camera. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I, I totally agree with you,
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but I would also say then it goes beyond just being horny because if I was just horny, I wouldn't need
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a camera and producers and directors. I could have just done my thing and been, you know, a part of
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hookup culture in college. It goes much deeper than that. It was the promise of fame. It was the,
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you know, feeling like so empty inside that fame would have validated me. And that's truly what I,
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it wasn't being empty. It wasn't being empty inside. It was attention seeking. You wanted
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attention. Yeah. I wanted attention. And you were, and you were willing to be greedy and you were
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willing to embarrass all of your friends, all of your family to do it. And I do appreciate you coming
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back and saying it's wrong, but you have to understand when I hear you talk about the story,
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it just doesn't seem sorry. When you're telling the way you're telling it, it's like you're the hero and
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victim at the same time when really it was just a selfish decision. And I don't, I don't lose sleep
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at night, right? It's not my life, but you have to understand to the average person, they're going
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to hear this and they might not say it to your face. I'm probably one of the few people who will
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be honest about it, but they're just going to think you're full of shit because throughout the
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whole story, you're blaming everybody else. I just think there's this whole movement of
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people saying that if you, if you have any, if you say anything about brokenness or anything about
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trauma, then that means that you're not taking accountability. But if you actually study the
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impact that parenting has on a child, whether to set them up for failure or success, then you would
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understand. I'd say, I'd say that's bullshit because you know, my, my, my family, uh, we we've
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adopted kids from really bad situations, probably worse than yours. And they didn't make the same
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decisions you did. They did. What decisions did they make? They made good decisions. To be honest,
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they're good kids. And they were adopted by what, by what, what was your family like? Awesome. Okay. So
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see, they had a redemption. They had a chance. They had a second chance. They were given a second
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chance for me. I just had to learn life the hard way. I got such bullshit, Brittany. It's complete
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bullshit. It's to, to put it on your childhood when you're born in America, one of the greatest
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places to be alive in the country, like ever. And one of the freest times ever to be alive. Like
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there's just no excuse. There's none. There's kids that had worse childhoods than yours that didn't
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make your choices. They didn't. And I like that. And you know, men, they don't get a get out of jail
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free cart. They don't get to blame things on their trauma and their brokenness. Like to me, it's kind
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of bullshit. Uh, you know, I just understand. So you're saying that women have the opportunity to
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blame things on brokenness, but men don't actually, Joshua, an incredible man of God who was in the
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porn industry for six years. He talks about the fact that he had a fatherless home and that played
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a big role in as to why. Well, I mean, I would say the men that do it. I also think it's bullshit as
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well. I do, but it's, it's much more common for women to do it than men because in general,
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most people won't hear men out. They won't ask them why they did the bad thing.