Pearl - Christian Feminist Therapist Says Marriage Should Be EQUAL!

00:00:00.000 I think for me, I do believe a marriage should be equal, whether that's biblical or not.

00:00:04.660 Okay.

00:00:04.800 So whether you agree with me or not, I do think a marriage should be equal.

00:00:09.520 Because the biggest, most powerful thing you can do is be the little guy at times.

00:00:17.140 What's your name?

00:00:17.840 Hey, my name's Sierra.

00:00:19.720 And how long have you been in the Orthodox Church?

00:00:22.360 I am not baptized under the Orthodox Church.

00:00:25.320 So I'm not formally like a catechumen, but I'm very interested.

00:00:31.220 Okay.

00:00:31.760 But I'm a Christian.

00:00:32.920 Okay, so what are your thoughts on obedience?

00:00:35.300 Do you think Christian, or in this case Orthodox women, should obey their husbands? 0.89

00:00:40.060 Yes, no, why or why not? 0.99

00:00:41.660 No right or wrong answers.

00:00:42.720 We're just trying to figure out what people believe here.

00:00:44.780 Yeah, I believe mankind, as we are inhabiting this flesh, is very flawed.

00:00:55.320 man woman whatever um so i think if a man in a marriage um is obeying his higher power

00:01:08.580 is a good steward of the flesh and a good steward of a woman in their family

00:01:14.360 i think it can be a really beautiful thing but i think a lot of earthly marriages

00:01:18.980 are extremely flawed due to the bodies that we inhabit.

00:01:24.040 We're prone to doing things that are selfish.

00:01:26.360 I mean, humans are inherently pretty selfish.

00:01:30.060 So I think a lot of these people would say yes.

00:01:36.500 I think it's an interesting question.

00:01:38.480 Have you gotten a lot of people talking?

00:01:39.980 Yeah, I've gotten a decent amount.

00:01:41.500 I'd say overwhelmingly here is the most yeses I've gotten at a church.

00:01:44.960 Um, so my question is if the woman thinks he's not following God and the man thinks

00:01:50.620 he is, should she still obey? 0.93

00:01:54.720 Like, let's say she doesn't like, she doesn't like how he's talking to like, I think that's

00:01:58.520 a common thing. 1.00

00:01:59.100 Women don't like how the man talks, you know, they think he's being disrespectful or rude 0.99

00:02:03.840 or whatever. 1.00

00:02:04.760 Do you think like in those cases she should still obey?

00:02:07.880 I think a lot of times we, whether you're a man or a woman, have duties to perform.

00:02:20.740 Like if you have children, there's a lot of moments where you show up and you are present in a relationship

00:02:26.720 when you don't really want to be, when it's uncomfortable for you,

00:02:30.280 when you'd rather go to sleep or when you would rather do the easy thing.

00:02:34.140 so i think sometimes if you've agreed to that union and you've agreed to be devoted to one

00:02:38.940 another so long as there's not like um anything extreme anything extreme i think when it's like

00:02:45.440 abuse verbal emotional sexual physical i think that's a point where the feminine needs to be 0.87

00:02:51.960 protected there's a reason why mankind feels like and a lot of women a lot of modern women like i

00:02:58.560 was definitely in like new age like all the stuff for a long time because it's like you don't feel

00:03:04.960 safe around men a lot of the time for a lot of women and it's like the narrative is pushed that

00:03:11.780 like oh men just want to use you and all this stuff and the narrative is kind of like for

00:03:16.060 modern women is like you need to protect yourself or or do whatever you want be like a man and it's

00:03:22.080 like it's damaging I think I think there's um there's a lot of benefit to looking back at what 0.98

00:03:28.720 humans have done for a long time and seeing the areas where we can benefit from traditionalism

00:03:34.440 and like those kind of things but there's also like advances in the modern world that we might

00:03:40.440 need to integrate so what do you think do you think she should still obey yeah yeah yeah um

00:03:47.500 if it's not abuse and if she's still in open communication with her husband I think that's

00:03:56.340 great I mean like if they can communicate and she can say hey maybe you need to look into what

00:04:01.020 your beliefs are and maybe we're not aligning on this then I mean I don't know I'm I'm a therapist

00:04:08.080 intern so like I feel like people can talk through a lot of things but yeah it's case by case do you

00:04:15.540 think it's in a woman's place to tell her husband what to do i think it's in both people's place

00:04:21.560 to like give feedback honestly so don't you think that then you're giving less obedience to your

00:04:28.580 husband than your boss because you don't give your boss feedback right yeah yeah do you think

00:04:34.100 the man is the boss and the woman is subservient i try to stay impartial but i'll tell you after

00:04:40.460 i'll tell i want to go right you're supposed to yeah yeah i gotta i gotta get that i don't like

00:04:44.720 them to influence, you know, I could tell you after. Um, what do you think about women taught 1.00

00:04:50.040 Bible studies? I mean, it makes a lot of more, like a lot of women more comfortable. Um, I think 1.00

00:04:58.420 a lot of women, a lot of people come to the church in crisis. So like a lot of women who are sexually 1.00

00:05:03.980 assaulted or anything like that will come to the church. And it's like, yes, it's wonderful having

00:05:09.820 these masculine figures that are not living for their flesh so you know you're safe around them

00:05:16.260 they're not going to manipulate you to get something out of you in your flesh but I think

00:05:20.800 it is a lot more comfortable especially for people who are not religious to be able to go 0.95

00:05:27.080 speak to women um traditionally I guess that's not what the people who are supposed to be the

00:05:35.080 leaders but I mean it's better than nothing what do you think what is emotional abuse you said that

00:05:42.360 earlier like what would be you said as long as he's not emotionally abusing her like what does 0.89

00:05:46.400 that look like I think like if a woman is like hey like um I don't like the way you yelled at

00:05:55.000 her children today and he's like well the way you were raised was wrong and the way I am is right

00:06:01.140 so we're gonna move forward like this and she's invalidated in feeling like not feeling good

00:06:07.840 and that's emotional isn't that just like him having authority or like I see a lot of

00:06:15.220 I shouldn't give any like personal examples you can it's okay um because you're you're a therapist

00:06:24.380 so you probably see a lot right yeah well I'm in training and I'm at like a I'm at a women's

00:06:30.600 center so there's like a rape crisis section there's general counseling and then we help

00:06:34.860 get people employment yeah um so we provide a lot of good services to primarily women

00:06:39.980 and I think emotional abuse technically is just saying like if you told me how you feel and I

00:06:47.820 immediately am unable to come down and be with you and be where you are and say okay I will listen

00:06:56.580 and I will be with you and I think that's what a marriage is it's committing every single day to

00:07:02.080 I will listen and I will be with you whether or not that sounds good or feels good to me

00:07:06.280 man or woman yeah but wouldn't like if we're going it's on a hierarchy right so God man woman

00:07:12.240 children right do you really like I kind of disagree because like if you're a boss yeah and

00:07:18.880 you have an employee you don't really care how they feel you either listen or you don't and if

00:07:23.040 you do think that marriage is a hierarchy some people think it is some people think it isn't

00:07:27.320 right but that to me leans more equal like if someone's your equal then you listen to all their

00:07:32.460 takes how they feel if someone's your subordinate which you might believe you might not then you

00:07:37.640 tell them what to do and they either listen or they don't right I think for me I do believe a

00:07:43.680 marriage should be equal whether that's biblical or not okay so whether you agree with me or not

00:07:48.260 I do think a marriage should be equal because the the biggest most powerful thing you can do

00:07:55.920 is be the little guy at times yeah sometimes you have to be the little guy we're all seeking power

00:08:04.340 to some degree or the other I mean like Christ we see the complete sacrifice of everything I mean

00:08:11.740 he was completely destroyed by humanity and he was sinless so I think sometimes the biggest thing

00:08:18.620 you can do is be the little guy um and that goes for both parties because I think an imbalance of

00:08:24.880 power whether on either side is an issue so I think gunning for equality is the best thing we

00:08:30.840 can do I'm sure you speak to people who are more like misandrist to misogynist to

00:08:37.680 i don't know if you believe in those terms but yeah i believe in equality but i was raised by

00:08:45.320 very like people like my parents are very uh loving open people they'll go to the churches

00:08:53.200 that are like more interpretive we've been to like buddhist churches um so like maybe i was

00:09:00.480 raised like i wasn't raised with like a you have to do this look it's there's no right or wrong

00:09:05.180 answer everyone's got a different opinion right so you know I just like to go to the churches to

00:09:09.460 figure out what they believe so and ask firsthand okay so um what do you think about women taught

00:09:16.520 bible studies yeah you asked that one I was like yeah I just think if you can provide a comfortable

00:09:23.900 space for anybody to come to the truth which I think the truth is love and Christ taught us that

00:09:30.800 it is love and to love one another I mean there are people I absolutely could not get along with

00:09:35.980 politicians whatever and it's like dude I have to look at that and be like I love you anyways like

00:09:41.780 yeah I don't know I think we need to protect women and children in the ways that we can

00:09:50.100 and protect what do you think about so at this church do you think they do that here

00:09:54.060 yeah yeah i think women are revered in the christian church more than in any other

00:09:59.980 abrahamic religion um i think understanding the theotokos the um immaculate conception

00:10:09.820 in the virgin mary i think is really beautiful and knowing that like i mean man and woman were

00:10:16.740 made to be in a partnership and to love one another and that could be i mean people interpret

00:10:21.940 the bible all different ways so if the priest and you're like let's say you got you married a nice

00:10:27.560 orthodox guy here you're stacy you found your chad stacy and chad and um so he says one thing

00:10:35.740 the priest says another who are you gonna listen to like probably the priest do my own readings

00:10:44.040 uh and that's the thing is i'm still flawed i'm still stuck in this body so like i'm gonna

00:10:50.140 Yeah, so you don't even know if you're right, you know.

00:10:51.980 Dude, I have five senses.

00:10:53.540 I have five senses.

00:10:55.020 I'm aware of three dimensions.

00:10:56.460 But when it comes down to it, you'd listen to the priest over the husband.

00:11:00.080 I think they're more in tune with the divine than I am or my husband.

00:11:03.800 Like, we've been, I don't know.

00:11:05.660 I haven't meditated or prayed that long.

00:11:07.720 Yeah, you're new.

00:11:08.320 It's okay.

00:11:08.740 They probably know.

00:11:09.580 No, I mean, like, the priests.

00:11:11.080 Oh, right.

00:11:11.960 They know more than me.

00:11:12.920 Yeah.

00:11:13.680 I think everybody probably knows a little bit more than me.

00:11:16.720 And God knows everything.

00:11:18.360 So I'm like, I cannot understand the will of God. 0.96

00:11:22.440 So there's an idea that like a lot of women with crazy pasts go to the church. 0.97

00:11:28.060 Okay.

00:11:28.640 Do you think that's true or untrue?

00:11:31.380 I think it depends.

00:11:33.640 I think people with pasts come to the church.

00:11:35.580 I think people with pasts continue to do debaucherous things.

00:11:43.020 Yeah, I don't know.

00:11:44.180 Like there's just online, there's a big wave of like porn stars.

00:11:47.180 and I'm not saying I doubt I doubt there's porn stars here right but maybe there's always a chance

00:11:53.980 for anything um but I'm just curious if you think that's a true sentiment or an untrue because I

00:12:00.520 like to test you know are the things online true with people in real life right well one thing I

00:12:08.240 like about people coming to the church from the porn industry I think that is the most like evil

00:12:16.640 like I mean love everyone I hope they find what they are looking for everyone is seeking love in

00:12:24.320 one way or another um porn absolutely breaks my heart it breaks apart families it breaks apart

00:12:30.820 so many things um and I respect people leaving and moving forward I think the redemptive

00:12:38.180 love of those in the church is wonderful. I mean, it's like, I don't know, what do they say? It's

00:12:44.420 not a, not a house for saints. It's like a hospital for sinners. Okay. So at this logic,

00:12:50.640 right? Right. Would you be okay with an ex pedophile who's repented coming to church?

00:12:55.620 See, dude, that's the thing. So the question is why are we okay with ex porn stars being around 0.89

00:13:01.140 married men? Um, I don't know. They're not having sex with the men in here. Well, they might try.

00:13:08.180 I don't know.

00:13:08.980 Okay, well. 0.98

00:13:09.740 They're porn stars, you know what I mean? 0.98

00:13:10.900 I know. 0.98

00:13:11.740 If it's a man of God, then he's going to say, I'm good off that.

00:13:15.040 Yeah, but it's kind of like throwing temptation in their fit.

00:13:17.280 You know what I mean?

00:13:17.960 It's like.

00:13:18.960 Temptation?

00:13:19.440 You're going to walk out on the street.

00:13:20.940 Okay.

00:13:21.320 It's temptation.

00:13:22.020 But so you'd be okay with the porn stars coming?

00:13:24.640 Sure. 0.74

00:13:25.220 Okay.

00:13:25.780 You'd have no affairs by your husband. 1.00

00:13:27.060 She sits down next to your husband. 1.00

00:13:28.980 Is she dangerous? 1.00

00:13:30.060 Like, does she have a gun? 1.00

00:13:31.800 Not, I mean, she just likes to get naked, you know? 0.99

00:13:34.680 Right, right, right, right. 0.99

00:13:35.860 you have you found your you found your chad he's sitting there now this this bombshell porn star 0.83

00:13:42.540 sits right down i'm sure she's a body and i'm sure she's a body um that's the thing is if people 0.86

00:13:48.960 are reformed they're in here are you always moving spots no i'm chilling i'll sit next to

00:13:56.400 anybody i'll talk to anybody okay uh let me think let me think the pedo is he okay that's the thing

00:14:02.540 is like if you don't you could say you don't know it's if you don't know you could say that too

00:14:06.240 because i don't but like pedophilia is like i just studied in a human sexuality course about 0.83

00:14:13.240 different paraphilias and it's like i'm that must suck to be like oh i'm attracted to children 0.81

00:14:18.540 that must suck but he's not acting on it anymore if he's not acting on it then that's different 0.80

00:14:24.780 i don't know just don't act on it we all have things that we want to do that we don't act on 0.96

00:14:29.260 Like I'll have intrusive thoughts like run this car off the highway, but I don't do it

Pearl - June 04, 2026

Christian Feminist Therapist Says Marriage Should Be EQUAL!

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