Pearl - Christians On Dating Apps (Call-in Show)

00:00:00.000 Thank you.

00:00:30.000 Amen.

00:01:00.000 good afternoon good evening everybody welcome to another episode of pearl daily i am your host

00:01:07.300 pearl here at the audacity network today i have a special show for you we are going to be talking

00:01:13.200 about christians on dating apps but before we get into today's topics as you guys know i have a

00:01:19.660 couple housekeeping you know updates so the first update is that guys the audacity network.com

00:01:27.380 that's t-h-e-a-u-d-a-c-i-t-y-d dot oh my gosh i can't talk today c-o-m and the link is in the

00:01:37.380 description or you can look it up on the app stores we are going to have smart intelligent men give

00:01:43.460 presentations on their industry and tomorrow someone is giving a presentation talking about

00:01:49.340 is federal work for you you know the it's really going to be explaining the current situation of

00:01:56.000 the federal government from a federal employee's point of view explain the ins and outs of federal

00:02:01.640 work their experience and the best practices and the pros and cons this smart intelligent man did

00:02:08.960 very well in this industry and so he's going to give you guys the ins and outs and you can see

00:02:13.600 if it's something that's for you as you guys know i have found that some of the most intelligent men

00:02:19.920 that i know are not famous so what i wanted to do was give you guys value where you guys can ask

00:02:24.960 them questions directly and they can give presentations on different industries, but

00:02:30.660 they have the privacy and being anonymous that they want. So, because most, a lot of the most

00:02:37.840 smart men that I know really have no desire for fame. Okay, so let's get into today's episode.

00:02:46.580 Welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily. Conversations are being had about the effectiveness

00:02:52.480 of dating apps. Although meeting online is still the number one way of meeting people,

00:02:57.780 younger millennial and Gen Z are trying different avenues to date. While on the decline, it would

00:03:04.400 still be helpful to learn how to navigate the world of online dating. What to put in your profile

00:03:11.060 and how to message a woman and arrange a date offline are essential skills to learn if a man

00:03:16.840 wants any success in meeting women online. But what happens if you are religious? Many Christians

00:03:23.440 have not found success finding a relationship in their church or their church doesn't foster

00:03:29.900 Christian relationships with its members. This leaves many to try online dating. So what are

00:03:36.980 the issues with Christians dating online? Some argue that dating apps put Christians,

00:03:42.840 Some argue that dating apps put Christian's mind into a consumeristic and individualistic mindset,

00:03:51.840 making the Christian view people on the app as items to be swiped on instead of actual people.

00:03:58.920 Dating apps create an illusion of infinite choice,

00:04:01.540 making a Christian create an unrealistic expectation of a potential partner, leading to anxiety.

00:04:09.000 The quick nature of dating apps can hinder the development of a deep and meaningful relationship.

00:04:16.600 Some Christians may feel a stigma and hide their dating apps from other members of their faith.

00:04:23.000 You know these hoes are on Tinder.

00:04:25.500 You know how these church hoes are.

00:04:28.260 They hide the app, but they're on Tinder.

00:04:30.640 You know, you know how it is.

00:04:32.860 They got to throw it back with somebody.

00:04:34.840 So in church, here's the hierarchy of women trying to throw it back in church.

00:04:40.200 So obviously, number one draft pick is going to be the pastor.

00:04:44.660 They're going to try to throw it back at the pastor.

00:04:47.140 And usually their beta husband isn't even going to notice.

00:04:50.580 So that's their number one.

00:04:51.720 But if that doesn't work out, they quickly go for the members of the bands, maybe security guards,

00:04:57.360 maybe the pastor's right-hand man, or obviously the muscle guys in church that run through these hoes.

00:05:05.720 Yeah, so, you know, when all the church hoes go through that, they obviously got to go to Tinder.

00:05:13.840 So there are many non-Christian dating apps that, there are so many non-Christians on dating apps

00:05:21.260 that finding a genuine faith-based connection can be difficult.

00:05:27.360 these hoes don't have faith okay let's take a look at some of the hidden dangers of dating apps okay

00:05:38.480 four hidden dangers christian needs to christians need to know about online dating okay

00:05:48.560 uh what can i get rid of this ad thank you okay so here is this person's experience so

00:05:57.120 My wife and I, both devout believers, met on a secular dating app and while the end

00:06:03.960 result of that experience was more of a blessing than I could have ever asked for, we did spend

00:06:09.560 the entire first date sharing how terrible our online dating experiences had been.

00:06:15.660 This was no surprise to me.

00:06:17.520 Having worked in the online dating industry for years, I was privy to an insider experience

00:06:23.340 of what things were like for Christian singles.

00:06:27.120 nayski nada not good again this is the problem it's people trying to date traditional in a

00:06:33.900 modern world it just leads to both sides really taking l's because obviously the women are going

00:06:41.680 to go for chads first and chads really don't value chastity until maybe 10 15 years in when

00:06:50.680 they're looking for their wife but do you know how many women they don't give a shit about chastity

00:06:55.040 with do you know what i'm saying because you i know like you want to we want a virtue signal

00:07:00.960 and say don't go for chads yeah let me know how that works selling that to the ladies

00:07:09.680 you know what ladies go for the men in your league

00:07:12.820 okay so what happens is the the women they're going to go for chads chads don't care about

00:07:21.660 purity now the christian men do maybe a christian chad but there's not many christian chads and

00:07:29.800 the problem is um the pure the christian women are the ones that try to maintain some sense of

00:07:37.200 purity they have no relationship skills right um and the issue they get is chads they need more

00:07:46.260 than just sex it's like the bare minimum it's like it takes this much to get in like purity

00:07:54.320 just isn't the same to chads until like they're really on a mission to settle down otherwise it

00:08:01.200 just kind of happens like somehow somehow just likes him so so much he can really do whatever

00:08:08.040 he wants and he's like good enough so that's how the women take the l's the men on the other hand

00:08:13.740 take the L's because well they're like let me court you and the women are like this is a target

00:08:21.820 you want to court me in this economy they realize it's a target so a lot of there's a lot of L's in

00:08:29.480 church now fast forward a few years to one Sunday at church that would change our lives forever

00:08:36.600 our pastor was speaking about the breakdown of the family unit across the county or the country

00:08:43.440 and the negative effects it was having on the Christian community.

00:08:46.820 God put it on my heart that we needed to do something to provide a safe and effective way

00:08:50.800 for Christians to better connect romantically.

00:08:53.760 I felt that taking what I knew about online dating and creating something Christ-centered

00:08:59.040 could bring real change with the potential for generational impact.

00:09:03.500 I shared this with my wife.

00:09:04.800 We prayed about it for a while, and we eventually put our yes on the table.

00:09:09.880 Now, you see a lot of these apps come across. Right. And what happens is these Christians come in and they think that they can convince men and women to not like to make their biology go away. Right.

00:09:28.720 So when you get a group of women, we are just, we just always go for the hot guys.

00:09:33.920 We're like the hot guys, the charming guys, whoever it is, the guy with a good, I mean,

00:09:38.740 we're pretty dumb, right?

00:09:40.500 So we fall for damn near anything.

00:09:42.260 You put a guy with a guitar, he can do like three chords.

00:09:45.600 The women are in love, right?

00:09:47.560 You get a guy doing comedy in the front of the room.

00:09:50.420 The women are like anything.

00:09:52.040 We just never leave high school.

00:09:53.800 So it's like popularity forever.

00:09:56.480 I mean in the PUAs they like mimic this right it's hilarious so what they do is they teach guys

00:10:03.280 and it works on us I'm no I'm not special or different right so I don't want this to come

00:10:08.800 off as an I'm better than you it obviously it works on me too right I'm a woman right it works

00:10:14.500 on everybody so you know the PUAs they teach the men to like know the bartenders to know everybody

00:10:22.140 in a certain community so the girl thinks that he's popular oh it's too funny anyway so

00:10:30.300 all right now you guys get this right okay so

00:10:34.400 now

00:10:37.240 where where am i going with this where am i going this oh and so the christians what they try to do

00:10:46.220 is they try to get people to not do what people do in groups so they're like men top men please

00:10:52.120 please settle down. Don't run through these hoes. They're like, please don't run through these

00:10:56.280 hoes. You're a pastor. Did you know half of pastors have admitted to emotional affairs at

00:11:02.480 least and a quarter like cheating. So half of pastor, if the, the literal men of God can't

00:11:09.420 not do it when it's easy, right? Cause they're in the front of the room. They can't help it.

00:11:13.120 The punani is just given to them. I'm like, it's like on a plant platter, these church hoes,

00:11:17.740 you know what i mean so all these people they think they can make an app that foregoes human

00:11:24.760 nature to get the chads to stop running through to get the women to stop going for chads but the

00:11:30.820 only solution is to figure out how to play the game and how to how to win in this economy right

00:11:36.380 you know the women it's learning relationship skills you could try to sell purity under 22

00:11:45.420 maybe if he's stupid up to 25 but you can't sell that much right you know so I mean

00:11:56.860 but if he's like dumb then the girls won't even like him anyway then she'll just realize she can

00:12:03.420 run circles around him he'll just get cheated on but he you know look at these things so they all

00:12:10.080 think that religion is a buffer and you know my boyfriend actually sent me something today

00:12:14.540 that said that religious countries don't have more children. So religion is not a buffer to

00:12:20.600 human nature. Christian countries do not have the most children. Really, people just have kids when

00:12:26.740 they have to, because whenever we get money, people are like, eh, I should preface. Women are

00:12:32.740 like, eh, we're completely in charge. Okay, but I'll keep going on this article. So, but here's

00:12:39.120 the bigger realization I had during the process. Most Christians and church leaders are unaware of

00:12:43.600 the hidden dangers within the online dating industry. And while this knowledge gap is

00:12:48.940 understandable, it's dangerous for our singles and our churches. While with 96% of pastors being

00:12:56.660 married and that trend continuing throughout much of church leadership, it makes sense that

00:13:02.180 knowledge and experience in these new forms of digital dating may be scarce. But with millions

00:13:08.020 of christian singles in the u.s expected to use online dating app this year church leaders simply

00:13:14.180 cannot choose to ignore the needs of the singles in their congregation now this guy's going to go

00:13:21.940 on to outline four important issues christian singles pastors and ministry leaders need to

00:13:27.140 know about online dating apps i'm going to get to that but i want to tell you guys my experience

00:13:33.500 Now, I grew up in a Catholic church.

00:13:36.440 Now, I'm going to focus on after school.

00:13:41.560 I went to a Protestant church for like two years, and I was pretty into it.

00:13:45.980 I lived with people from the church.

00:13:47.960 I went to Bible study twice a week, right?

00:13:50.720 And I remember someone asked me if I wanted to do a dating event, and I was like, oh,

00:13:54.780 I was single at the time.

00:13:57.740 So I'm like, all right, let's do it.

00:14:00.800 And they said, well, you probably won't get anything, right?

00:14:03.380 And I'm like, what do you mean I won't get anything?

00:14:06.840 And what they told me was that it's 90% women at these dating events.

00:14:10.800 And I'm like, oh, wow.

00:14:12.520 Why am I even at this church?

00:14:16.240 I thought we were here to get boyfriends.

00:14:18.360 No.

00:14:20.700 I'm like, why am I even here?

00:14:22.900 Anyway, so then at this, I know, I think I was there for the wrong reasons, right?

00:14:30.500 anyway so these churches what they have is they have all these events and the women they kind of

00:14:39.200 police each other it's really interesting it's like a weird dynamic because you live with a lot

00:14:43.960 of the other women and they tell you not to date on the dating apps now I this is a little different

00:14:50.780 but there they said you have to date someone in the church so I'm like you guys are going to put

00:14:54.800 a gun to my head basically and make me die alone like I can't I can't I have to date within this

00:15:01.500 church or they said go to other churches that are similar but I'm like these men don't want

00:15:08.000 to go to church do you know what I mean these men aren't putting up with this bullshit here

00:15:12.880 and then it becomes like a single woman and then I went on this like they had these like

00:15:18.520 retreats you could go on and you like read the bible and whatever and I actually met some pretty

00:15:23.920 cool like women there but I looked around I'm like all these women are older than me and single

00:15:29.080 I'm gonna die alone if I stay here and I really had this realization that the church really does

00:15:36.540 leave women single because instead of going out like normally women will feel lonely right so

00:15:43.160 we'll ditch the whatever community and we'll be like oh let me go find a boyfriend or a husband

00:15:49.680 them whatever but what happens in these churches is the women get the sense of community from the

00:15:56.420 church so they don't really feel the need and they also get the ability to disqualify men for not

00:16:04.220 being godly enough and that's whatever the women deem is godly and you guys see how that's like a

00:16:10.340 path for destruction like there's this one woman at her church that um a limit she was like older

00:16:18.000 she was an older woman and like not older but like okay i don't want to give too many details

00:16:22.200 over 25 less than 35 i'll say and she was a virgin right or allegedly i mean who knows but

00:16:28.420 and she eliminated a guy for not being godly because he tried to sleep with her

00:16:33.480 i'm like bitch you're not no spring chicken like what did you think was gonna

00:16:39.220 what did you do you know what i mean like what did you that's not gonna work now do you know

00:16:46.320 what I mean? But, and they also shame the male sex drive. So, I mean, we all know like part of

00:16:52.700 being a man is you guys just want to have sex with everything. It's terrible. I mean, not terrible.

00:16:57.280 Sorry. I just did it. But like, it's very humbling as a woman because there's nothing like

00:17:03.900 new vagina to a man. Like you could be a 10 out of 10 and he would just rather have sex with the

00:17:09.380 new one it's just like you can't compete with it do you know what i mean like it's it's the worst

00:17:17.640 because really after a certain time like guys get sick of sleeping with you what after two years

00:17:23.260 i mean that's like enough right if you got a good gluck gluck maybe three but like

00:17:28.860 he's still gonna want to sleep with that new woman more and that's why i i gotta thank the

00:17:36.340 corn stars out there. Thank you ladies, because I feel like you guys prevent cheating because

00:17:42.000 they can just look at you. Right, right. Anyways, so these churches, they really do leave women

00:17:51.600 single. They really do because they allow, they allow women to feel holier than thou

00:17:56.600 because all they have to do is put on a Jesus necklace and read the Bible. And then you can

00:18:03.280 think you're a good person they don't tell you to not be annoying or not nag or learn the glut

00:18:09.120 glut like i had christians on twitter say that you shouldn't be your husband's porn star

00:18:16.960 well who's gonna do it do you know what i mean it's like i mean

00:18:24.080 now i understand there's some weird corn stuff like i'm not saying you gotta be insane but

00:18:33.280 I mean, wouldn't you rather him looking at you than looking at that?

00:18:37.380 Do you know?

00:18:39.920 Whatever, whatever.

00:18:41.300 Anyway, so now these are the problems this Christian guy found on the Christian dating apps.

00:18:48.080 Not all Christian dating apps are Christian.

00:18:50.580 One of the most prevalent and detrimental assumptions is that all Christian dating apps are actually Christian.

00:18:56.640 just because an online dating app has Christian in the title or Christ in the branding does not

00:19:02.800 mean that it's run by Christian leaders or that it cares about biblical values in fact the majority

00:19:08.940 of the largest and most popular Christian dating apps in the U.S. are run by secular companies for

00:19:13.980 example Upward is the largest Christian dating app on the market right now and is an option many

00:19:20.500 pastors currently regularly recommend to their singles. However, unbeknownst to them, Upward

00:19:27.260 is actually owned by Match Group, an $11 billion company that owns secular dating apps like

00:19:34.080 Match.com, Hinge, and casual hookup style dating apps like Tinder. Unfortunately, the

00:19:42.760 experience for Christian singles on Upward is much of what you would expect from a secular

00:19:48.140 company this app is riddled with inappropriate content utilizes the same matchmaking processes

00:19:55.400 as tinder and is filled with secular features that would make a pastor blush yeah like filtering

00:20:01.280 height or you know i'm pretty sure you can basically buy women on tinder these days

00:20:08.480 okay additionally apps like christian mingle and e-harmony are often thought of as being christian

00:20:15.000 owned companies in reality though christian mingle is owned by a massively publicly traded company

00:20:20.440 out of germany called spark notes that owns many casual secular dating apps and e-harmony clearly

00:20:26.680 shares they are not a christian dating app and more focused on inclusivity number two secular

00:20:33.320 companies have different opinions on what is appropriate what is inappropriate with the

00:20:39.960 With the majority of Christian dating apps being run by secular companies, it's important to highlight an area where Christians and the world differ heavily on their viewpoint, specifically when it relates to the topic of lust.

00:20:53.360 Yeah, you guys think that slapping God on the title is going to make women not get naked?

00:20:59.880 Truly?

00:21:01.360 I mean, yeah.

00:21:04.140 spend just a few minutes on some of the most popular christian dating apps and you'll see a

00:21:09.580 barrage of scantily clad photos excessive cleavage shirt off pictures and while everyone may have a

00:21:16.820 slightly different viewpoint on what is showing too much these apps can choose to err on the side

00:21:22.140 of letting people do what they want as opposed to being mindful of the things that could cause

00:21:26.680 a christian brother or sister to stumble when you pair with this fact that christians are led to feel

00:21:32.920 that they're in a safe and christ-centered space the lack of modesty can become quickly normalized

00:21:39.460 the i mean do you guys know what christians will die on the hill of women being whores

00:21:45.240 they really will um there was a girl on twitter recently i i mean she was thirst trapping at her

00:21:53.420 job i mean as the trad e-girls do and i just pointed it out and you know what all of the

00:21:59.560 Christians yelled at me for pointing it out. This is what you're dealing with. Now, the number three

00:22:06.580 is romance scams are real and Christian singles are the highest value target. The last major blind

00:22:13.920 spot church and ministry leaders need to know about are the very real dangers of romance scams.

00:22:20.200 By definition, a romance scam is when someone impersonates someone else online with the intention

00:22:25.200 of separating someone from their money yeah christian men unfortunately are um the biggest

00:22:32.940 purchasers of only fans christian married men

00:22:35.800 even god can't stop these men from wanting to be with multiple women it's so unfortunate do you

00:22:44.660 know what if you could be so hot as a woman and there's just nothing you can do nothing nothing

00:22:50.900 There are horror stories you see that simply break your heart.

00:22:56.500 Christian singles are prime targets for scammers because they tend to be kind, giving, and empathetic, even with strangers.

00:23:03.140 Scammers know and therefore target Christian singles both online and in person much more.

00:23:09.320 Number four, the act of swiping profiles is creating an addictive behavior for women.

00:23:14.240 I mean, how many swipes do you really get as a guy?

00:23:16.680 There is a lot of research showing that swipe dating is causing serious mental health problems for singles.

00:23:24.360 On average, users scroll through 20 hours per week.

00:23:29.080 Wow, I saved a lot of time being in a relationship.

00:23:31.720 20 hours?

00:23:32.760 Okay.

00:23:33.340 Which builds an addictive dopamine loop like drugs, alcohol, and gambling addictions.

00:23:39.340 People join these apps, start swiping.

00:23:41.480 When they get their first match, it fires a high-level dopamine rush to the brain.

00:23:45.460 And from there, people keep swiping to choose to chase that high.

00:23:49.580 But there are a lot of reasons why they'll never achieve that feeling.

00:23:52.300 The problem is so bad that people are experiencing withdrawal symptoms, like twitching fingers when they don't use the apps.

00:24:01.480 Wow.

00:24:02.320 Isn't that bad out there?

00:24:03.900 Dang.

00:24:04.540 Okay.

00:24:04.700 If an online app truly has Christian values, they should take on added responsibility to protect their users.

00:24:11.780 Unfortunately, that is often overlooked for a couple of reasons.

00:24:15.460 First, most secular dating apps don't take additional security steps because it's too

00:24:21.800 expensive or takes too many resources to implement. Secondly, the secular apps aren't aware of the

00:24:27.660 increased risk and therefore aren't even aware of the magnitude of the problem. The latter

00:24:32.140 tends to be the case with smaller Christian dating apps that may have their hearts in the

00:24:37.240 right place but lack the industry knowledge to properly deliver a safe experience.

00:24:42.160 the question becomes should singles even take a chance with online dating

00:24:48.320 okay what's the downside you might as well try it i'm not saying it'll work but all right churches

00:24:58.340 have learned to leverage technology in so many ways to better serve god's people in the right

00:25:02.560 context online dating can be an incredible way to help build relationships that are truly christ

00:25:07.680 centered but for that to be the case two things need to change first christian singles need to

00:25:13.220 start using dating apps that are built on biblical principles single ministry leaders and pastors

00:25:18.680 need to help steer singles to perform or to platforms that are christ christian led and

00:25:25.740 that take a provocative approach to both physical and spiritual safety of its users so again

00:25:30.800 this is them saying use god to get women to stop being whores right how does that work have you

00:25:37.920 guys have you guys dealt with a christian a christian woman how has that gone for you

00:25:42.740 have they been of higher quality when when i start hearing the men saying the christian women are of

00:25:49.660 higher quality and great droves when the men say the best way to find a wife is church

00:25:54.920 wait when i start seeing that maybe i'll believe it but as of now i don't see any evidence that

00:26:01.740 there's like a buffer okay secondly we need to do a better job as a church and educating singles

00:26:07.240 about the hidden dangers of online dating with simple education and knowledge christian singles

00:26:12.880 can be made more aware of potential risks of online dating and how to avoid any situations

00:26:17.580 that could be harmful to others okay so if you guys have a question comment or concern make sure

00:26:25.680 you either super chat or you go to the website and you get unlimited super chats there it's on

00:26:30.400 the app store you just download the app get the monthly or yearly membership and then um

00:26:35.300 yeah and then you you just put pearl read okay you are once again dead on love it so sick of

00:26:45.300 the simp world and all of its expectations. I'm a Christian and would not touch Christianity 304

00:26:50.980 with a 10 foot pole. I know it's even worse because at least you guys have the luxury of

00:26:56.860 not knowing what your girls did in the past. I know you all think you know, but you'll never

00:27:01.260 really know, right? We have way too much incentive to lie. And so at least this way, if I'm being

00:27:09.180 honest, you know, you can at least live in peace. Like, you know, when you guys cheat and you like

00:27:14.780 cheated like we don't know and at least at least we're happy and you guys cheat in peace and the

00:27:19.860 women hide their dirt in peace but the christian guys have to have the women talk about being

00:27:26.420 whores in the form of testimony oh how do you guys get suckered into this so they have to give a

00:27:36.100 testimony about being a whore so yeah anyways that's even worse at least the secular men don't

00:27:44.060 have to go through a humiliation ritual all for a girl with a jesus cross necklace

00:27:48.800 um did you have a boxing match with destiny no i didn't um let's see i have come to believe

00:28:00.940 that faith alone theology leads to the popular popularization of the cremation of care um joel

00:28:09.140 says i was also raised in the catholic schools my wife is anglican and she knows i don't care

00:28:13.460 better religion because i have been beasted by the beast okay um curveball said i have never

00:28:22.140 wanted to risk getting an std from an ugly skank am i the only one have you guys risked it i've

00:28:28.320 seen i've seen a lot all right doug mpa says mormon girls are the biggest horse when they get away

00:28:33.600 from their families and most of them want to rebel by sleeping with a black guy don't ask me how i

00:28:38.600 know i'm happy for you doug mpa okay let me look on the other place

00:28:47.960 okay so now we're going back here is a christian couple talking about their experience on dating

00:29:01.500 apps. So let's go here. All right. So she's got the hoop earrings. So I wouldn't put the former

00:29:11.540 hoe past pastor. What do you guys think? Former hoe or no? My name is Sam. I'm Sadie. So in today's

00:29:20.920 video, we're going to talk about if dating apps are a good idea for Christians, I'm going to give

00:29:26.120 my nightmare stories if dating apps are a good idea which dating apps should you choose okay so

00:29:32.840 i never use dating apps personally so i spend my time in preparing for this video looking at

00:29:38.600 statistics and looked at numbers what i found was in 2022 there was a study done and out of all the

00:29:48.360 dating apps out of everyone that uses the dating apps only 12 of the people on the apps actually

00:29:54.840 find love and get married to the people and that wasn't a study for the christian well people aren't

00:29:59.560 really getting married all together you know what i mean this guy is softer than her i know that's

00:30:05.320 how you can tell in a relationship is who talks first you know when people ask the couples a

00:30:12.040 question does she look to him or does he look to her that's who runs the relationship community

00:30:16.680 so i would imagine that that was a ton lower when you said imagine how many fewer people because

00:30:23.080 there are not a whole lot of christians on said dating apps i can tell you i was never against

00:30:28.840 dating apps um for other people but for me it just wasn't if you want to date a former sex drug and

00:30:36.260 gambling addict go to church just like russell brand what i wanted to do and i was getting i know

00:30:44.040 i mean there's too much incentive like all you have to do is dunk your head in water and then

00:30:49.400 you're free of all everything bad you've ever done and nobody can judge you for it and if they

00:30:54.920 do judge you for it they're not real christians i mean that sounds like an awesome place i can

00:31:01.800 literally do anything and they have to like me okay so uh i will tell you guys a little bit about

00:31:10.180 my own nightmare experience on these dating apps so probably when i think of horror stories on

00:31:16.460 Jacob, the bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe.

00:31:20.460 Well, she doesn't have too big of a hoop.

00:31:22.920 Dating apps.

00:31:23.980 I think of one specific example.

00:31:27.360 So that one example involved me meeting someone and they claimed to be a Christian.

00:31:36.140 And so, you know, we talked a little bit.

00:31:38.560 Then we ended up planning to go to the beach.

00:31:42.700 they said the biggest red flag in a woman is finding god late in life what is too late when

00:31:49.560 is it when is it too late for a woman to find god could you make a poll in the chat is it too late

00:31:56.680 at let's do let's do 20 is that too late let's do 25 let's do 30 and 35 plus

00:32:07.020 just gonna walk and talk um and just kind of get to know each other that way and so we ended up

00:32:15.040 walking down the beach for probably about you know a mile or joel says he's a simp well

00:32:21.820 but this is the archetype right like a guy like this let's say this girl threw it back in college

00:32:28.860 but she's cute enough i mean do you guys really not i mean was she really a virgin

00:32:35.520 She did nothing.

00:32:39.300 I don't really.

00:32:40.180 I and she.

00:32:43.020 I'd have to see what age they got married, but I'm going to be the cynic.

00:32:48.420 He's not going to he's not going to be smart enough to figure that out.

00:32:52.960 In general, my opinion.

00:32:56.620 Doug MPA says the final stop on the horror train is church.

00:33:02.280 Seemed like things were going OK.

00:33:04.120 then she starts cussing and for those of you in the north she starts cursing and um so we're

00:33:12.020 walking down the beach and i'm already like oh dear this is not good there this person already

00:33:17.480 is not who wait not find love i said god yeah god they represented themselves to be

00:33:24.880 and then i start talking about god and you know this person she's got kind of these like

00:33:33.180 vague views about God and I kind of more and more the more questions that I ask the more I'm like

00:33:42.840 you know this girl doesn't really believe the kind of things that I believe and then I start

00:33:48.960 mentioning Jesus not just kind of like this vague you know like God and then she starts talking

00:33:58.400 about because I asked her you know what kind of relationship do you have with God what kind of

00:34:03.080 relationship you have with Jesus. And she looks at me and she says something. I mean, it's, it's

00:34:10.280 almost, it's almost meme worthy, but she looks at me and she's like, yeah, I, uh, I don't really

00:34:16.320 do anything related to God other than like, maybe if I really like need to like, like sometimes I

00:34:24.520 just talk to God when I'm in really big trouble. And then like, you know, otherwise I don't really

00:34:30.780 do anything like basically he's like my personal like help genie or whatever and she did not like

00:34:36.920 say it like it was a joke or like it was a bad thing she was like this is a perfectly normal

00:34:41.160 thing oh this was this was the craziest thing the craziest thing was i asked her you know like

00:34:47.560 tommy lauren doesn't like holding women accountable nope and you can kind of tell the way he talks

00:34:55.180 he's a bit feminine right and i'm telling you that's like the archetype of dudes in church

00:35:00.180 i mean there's some

00:35:03.140 how many church guys have the balls to tell their like does this guy have the balls to tell her to

00:35:10.740 shut the fuck up that's my that's my lit lit what do i say lit litmus litmus test because

00:35:19.380 if you don't have the balls to tell her no then you're basically a woman

00:35:23.260 and I understand why men are afraid to tell women no I mean we're pretty like we can go to pretty

00:35:31.680 extreme lengths when we don't get what we want I understand it but I would just advise you if

00:35:39.360 you can't tell her no I would just be by yourself because um either she's insane and that like I

00:35:49.200 don't think you should be scared of her or you might have to learn that skill and maybe come

00:35:56.100 back in a few years Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior because at this point I'm like questioning

00:36:00.500 every single aspect of you know this girl's faith and so she okay so the I'll wait guys vote in the

00:36:09.720 me that while she may not be perfect that the idea of her is perfect and so she does not actually

00:36:21.080 need a savior wow and at that point i looked at her and i said i do not believe that we're

00:36:28.680 worshiping the same god and she was so mad that she legitimately told me to get away from her

00:36:37.500 we had like a mild walk back and so she tells me i want you to be like 30 yards that way and so

00:36:45.860 we're literally just on like other sides of the beach just like walking back and she i mean yeah

00:36:52.400 she was just like she booked it basically to the parking lot and i want to know what college this

00:36:57.640 woman went to what college were you at better have been small i just remember being like wow

00:37:05.080 like this is real pearl you're not talking about actual christians we don't put up with

00:37:10.500 disrespectful behavior from women

00:37:13.120 see this is again this is again this is what you guys do this is why you guys drive me nuts you

00:37:24.500 guys think that you somehow your religion is a buffer for human behavior whenever you get a

00:37:30.960 group of guys about half of them are afraid of women about half okay that does it doesn't matter

00:37:38.940 what group you go to the difference is what the christians do is you get to get out that's why

00:37:44.580 the reason it's worse in church is you get to get out of jail free card and they some they have so

00:37:50.780 much ego and thinking that their religion's a buffer to these behaviors that they fall for

00:37:56.400 anything and if they and even if they do get caught they just gotta dunk their head again

00:38:01.680 say sorry and boom back at it i mean that's that's how this that's it's like a circle right

00:38:07.040 really really not working out and then and then whenever i say okay well that guy did this you

00:38:13.220 guys have the same thing you guys think that you get to determine who's a real christian and who's

00:38:17.780 not what are now you're god now you're jesus christ himself now to you no okay people are

00:38:24.020 people and that's a do you know what whenever something crazy my dad i grew up catholic right

00:38:29.220 and whenever something crazy i would find out about i'd be like dad can you believe this person

00:38:33.840 did that and do you know what he would say he would say i'm not surprised people are people

00:38:39.380 yeah the whole dating app thing so would you say for a christian like pearl you're really good at

00:38:48.140 criticizing the current state western you got a super chat okay i can't believe you guys are

00:38:53.000 asking me these questions for free. I'm going to answer it. Pearl, you're really good at criticizing

00:38:57.660 the current state in Western churches like Catholics and Protestants. What do you think

00:39:01.800 will fill the void? Are we all going to hell? I don't think everyone's going to hell, but I think

00:39:05.860 every generation has a different set of problems, and I don't think God's going to fix these. I think

00:39:10.140 the birth rate's going to go down. If you have kids, they probably won't have kids. If they do

00:39:15.980 of kids it's like one or two um and you know um and you you gotta figure it out for yourself but

00:39:25.540 most people won't it's worth it to try on there or is it just like so all right ladies you got

00:39:32.680 till 35 to find god for 41 percent of men you got you got um although 23 percent think you're too

00:39:43.140 far gone by 20 20 say 25 uh 16 say 30. To find love that you should just stay away so first off

00:39:53.820 there are examples of people finding love on dating apps I know that Paul and Morgan actually

00:39:59.640 met I believe yeah see again this is where we're going back to Christian women can't help but use

00:40:05.280 their relationship and family for clout they can't help it it's like asking a christian woman

00:40:13.680 to keep her family private would be i'm trying to think of the equivalent it would be like me

00:40:19.880 putting a steak in front of my dog ellie and telling her not to eat it won't ever happen

00:40:25.540 no i'm tender of all places and i'm going to talk a little bit about tender um and the the kind of

00:40:32.080 the image that that has obviously I did not use tender the way that a lot of people use tender

00:40:38.740 yeah and then Nate and Sutton kind of indirectly met on there in order to really answer your

00:40:46.520 question first we need to talk about the dangers of these dating apps before you can actually get

00:40:53.820 into you know which dating apps or you know if any dating apps at all are worth your time for me

00:40:59.320 i feel like using dating apps you kind of get now is she hot enough i guess

00:41:06.200 she's got the long hair good enough face she's hot enough to get around the dating apps

00:41:12.340 now she probably was anyways five years ago she was back but

00:41:19.960 But, or maybe socially calibrated, she, look, the mids, you gotta get on.

00:41:30.560 Sorry, ladies, you're just, if you're not hot enough, the men aren't approaching you

00:41:34.780 in real life, it might be time to download an app or start approaching yourself.

00:41:39.040 The men are done with our BS, do you know what I mean?

00:41:41.840 Very, very invested in the idea of it.

00:41:44.780 Oh, she's not a three.

00:41:46.360 Show me your girlfriend then.

00:41:48.060 Show me the girl you're ba-

00:41:49.180 look i'm all for rating women but that's not a three okay that's she's like a five

00:41:56.080 when she was young she's probably a six she's like five she's got nice hair if it's real i'll

00:42:03.560 give her a six okay five five point five six that's like her rating kind of becomes a game

00:42:09.780 on your phone in a way does that make sense oh yeah so i feel like you're kind of you're

00:42:14.500 oh she's not a 4.5 she will be in 10 years though yeah placing the need to go out and meet people

00:42:21.940 with the i didn't say an eight they said she's a mid what is a five yeah that you're gonna meet

00:42:28.660 someone online and just the kind of like gambling the what if like oh my goodness what if i do meet

00:42:35.280 someone on here so you spend so much time swiping swiping swiping and you're wasting time where you

00:42:41.740 could be going out going to small groups visiting churches having your friends you know introduce

00:42:47.020 you to people if they know people for dating apps just like at a casino the goal for these companies

00:42:52.700 that make the dating apps is not for you to get off of the dating apps because guess how they make

00:42:58.140 money by keeping you single if you are not single if you are in a relationship unless you're a

00:43:03.980 horrible person you will get off of the dating apps so why would they ever be incentivized to

00:43:10.940 help you actually find the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with another

00:43:16.220 aspect yeah you're not going to find someone that you're going to spend the rest of your life with

00:43:21.080 maybe the next decade occasionally some of you will get lucky um but just odds are do you know

00:43:30.900 what i mean can we just be realistic here can we just be we're on a subscription model unfortunately

00:43:37.980 Look, I didn't create this society, but I'm just being realistic.

00:43:42.240 I even see like people in their 50s and 60s getting divorced nowadays.

00:43:46.820 John says, having grown up in the church, I can tell you there's no difference between the world and the church, which is a shame.

00:43:52.240 They use that Twinkie as much as non-Christians to get their way.

00:43:56.280 Yeah, the number one rated reason for people leaving the church is hypocrisy.

00:44:00.600 Because what they do is they sell you a dream.

00:44:04.340 And they sell you a dream that this church is special and different.

00:44:07.560 It's not.

00:44:09.100 The bit that I think is troubling for Christians is the level of temptation that you have when you get on the apps.

00:44:16.620 Girls are obviously posting, they're putting their best foot forward, which is not really their best foot forward.

00:44:22.580 It's not always their foot.

00:44:24.200 Yeah, so typically, sometimes, not all the time.

00:44:28.480 Yeah, so now this is what the Christian guys don't understand.

00:44:35.220 if you're going on a date with a woman you should want her to dress a little slutty with you

00:44:42.160 like if she's covering up I'm gonna be that's not a good sign fellas no like okay if a girl's

00:44:51.600 what she's trying to do if she's like covering up is she's trying to sell purity

00:44:57.720 and so she views you as the provider like long-term guy like so you have to understand

00:45:04.080 when women like the way we dress up it's not really based on our morals right you gotta

00:45:08.380 we gotta stop acting like we have morals it's based on what we're trying to sell right so

00:45:12.960 there's women that dress like complete sluts that maybe aren't they don't have a high body count but

00:45:18.420 they like to get the resources bait like our whole nature is just deceiving men so

00:45:25.820 at least if she's at least if she's getting naked you know sex is on the table or might be on the

00:45:34.660 table you don't know right but i don't i i generally think like if a girl's going on a

00:45:43.040 date and she's you know dressing a she doesn't have to it doesn't be crazy but showing a little

00:45:47.420 more skin she's trying to be sexual with you i mean isn't that what you guys i know the christian

00:45:55.080 guys they get bamboozled this is how this is this is how they get them because the women

00:46:00.580 they never you'll notice that the Christian guys they never knew their wives in college ever ever

00:46:06.300 it's like very convenient right so the women can come in and just say oh I did nothing and the guys

00:46:12.700 you know look at his face he's just gonna believe it he's gonna eat that right up right and so what

00:46:18.300 happens is then the women see them as like a provider long term not necessarily a bad thing

00:46:25.700 but the thing is if she's using sex in the beginning against you to get what she wants

00:46:33.220 there's a reason that the married christian women or husbands are the ones that like that

00:46:40.020 are buying the only fans it's because they're teaching women to weaponize sex to get what they

00:46:46.740 want right like do you know what's crazy my mother she told me in her high school she had

00:46:51.500 like two people that had a shotgun wedding you know like two two in her high school they got

00:46:57.020 teen pregnancy right guess who's still together to this day both of them and that's like wouldn't

00:47:05.280 it make wouldn't you rather as a guy be the guy that she does it with on the first day or at least

00:47:10.860 sooner than she normally would and it's not really a big deal as long as she doesn't leave it's like

00:47:16.720 the leaving that does it right anyway so christian women they have a tendency to live in like fear

00:47:24.080 they're always they want to be in in control and what they view they view religion as a way to

00:47:30.960 absolve them from like a burden of performance as a woman and also at from um they use it to

00:47:37.600 absolve them of anything going wrong so if i just wait till marriage you'll never leave me

00:47:43.680 that's a pretty good deal, right? All I have to do is not have sex and do the bare minimum

00:47:51.100 to get in the door. I don't have to try to be better in bed. I don't have to try to be a good

00:47:56.580 cook. All I have to do is not have sex and you will never leave. That's a pretty good,

00:48:03.080 it absolves her of a burden of competition right um and if as long as i just wait to have the sex

00:48:15.180 then nothing can go wrong and so a lot of conservative women what you get is they're

00:48:21.160 very like in fear of what could go wrong and they're very controlling

00:48:24.560 now liberal women i you know the reason i go in so hard on the conservative i just know them

00:48:32.340 really well. This is what I grew up around. Now, liberal women have their own set of problems,

00:48:38.320 but I don't really hang out with them too much. Girls will post themselves in very immodest

00:48:44.840 clothing and guys will, you know, do the same. They'll be shirtless on the beach with a beer in

00:48:50.720 their hand or something. Pearl Reed. I was raised in a Plymouth Church or Plymouth Brethren Church

00:48:57.200 church where women didn't speak during the service and wore mostly head coverings.

00:49:01.600 And yet I still saw a woman divorce her husband for an old guy.

00:49:07.920 I, yeah, again, it's nobody likes the uncomfortable truth of the burden of performance, right?

00:49:14.360 And the uncomfortable truth is that women, we're going to get old and ugly and the men are going

00:49:19.520 to want to have sex with the young women. And you're going to have to figure out how to keep

00:49:24.560 him from doing that for a lifetime. And if he can get away with it, he's probably going to do it.

00:49:30.440 That's, that's an uncomfortable truth where you have to be so nice to him that he doesn't wander.

00:49:38.940 On the other hand, men, the burden of performance is if she can do better, she's going to do it.

00:49:44.280 So you got to figure out how to be the best that she can do. Nobody likes these burdens of

00:49:50.020 performance, right? They kind of suck. So we both try to kind of get out of it, right? Where the

00:49:56.420 men, they're like, I want this virgin wife who will just never leave. If she's just a virgin

00:50:00.680 and young, she'll never leave me. Boy, boy, boy, they'll do the same shit, same shit, different

00:50:07.160 day, right? Where the women will say, well, if I just get this nice church guy, then I'll be in

00:50:13.640 love with him forever. And that's what they do. They do that. We do our rationalization where

00:50:17.980 we convince ourselves we love him um and we might for a little bit the way we like feel at the time

00:50:23.840 but then you know you know we think that jesus cross posting is good enough instead of being a

00:50:30.920 good wife she says i bet she'll have a list for him anyways i'll read this um

00:50:38.060 uh let me see she's unattractive because of her attitude and the way she

00:50:48.380 holds herself if we take that away she's maybe a five or a six

00:50:51.760 uh because she's boring they're saying okay let's see what else we got

00:50:58.420 look at the men are kind of generous they give us till 35 to find god maybe i could be a born

00:51:04.560 again virgin next year i'll tell my boyfriend oh god he would never um the story of adam and eve

00:51:15.560 is about showing discipline with new knowledge like children we cannot discipline ourselves

00:51:19.720 on a dating app so damn i'm gonna shag all my matches you might as well like get this is the

00:51:26.760 thing the only place you know men are the only creatures on this planet that they can convince

00:51:33.080 them to do something that they get nothing out of. Like men are the ones who will take a job

00:51:39.420 that they get nothing out of. Women will quit that job tomorrow and go follow our like passion,

00:51:47.920 right? We'll just be like, ah, I mean, even me, I was in a sales job and I said, no, I'm going to

00:51:52.540 be a YouTuber. And somehow it worked out. I don't know how, but it really did. Women don't follow

00:51:59.000 my path, it probably won't for you. But if you want to learn how to do it, I do have it behind

00:52:03.820 my paywall on my website. It's going to be everything you need to know about doing it is on

00:52:08.800 there. But anyways, men with marriage, like they'll get a wife that looks like this and yeah,

00:52:18.240 she's cute. And they'll get sex once a month, sometimes less. They'll get like one kid that

00:52:25.460 hates them because the mom's always in her ear and they're like this is enough for me

00:52:31.540 and but they don't ever think I don't know what it is men are just better creatures

00:52:37.260 and they have this duty thing I get it I get it but sometimes I wish they had less of that because

00:52:43.880 they create I mean it's not really their fault to be fair but it it adds to the problem right

00:52:52.620 It just doesn't give the best impression, but I think that it kind of opens up a level of temptation, in my opinion, because you're able to look at people all day.

00:53:04.060 Less than once a month. I talk to guys that would get it like once a year. Some went multiple years.

00:53:10.640 And they didn't even cheat. It's like at that point, you might as well start cheating.

00:53:15.580 You're able to look at what they look like. You're able to meet up with them if you want to.

00:53:20.620 if you want to just dip your toe in the water, and I just think that is something.

00:53:24.620 If you're struggling with that on dating apps, flee from that.

00:53:27.580 Get away from that.

00:53:29.240 God is not going to bless you, I don't think, if you're doing that.

00:53:33.420 The Bible literally tells us that if Satan literally were to show up at your driveway,

00:53:39.500 basically if he was to show up anywhere, that you're supposed to stand strong,

00:53:42.820 that you're supposed to stand in the armor of God, that you're supposed to face him.

00:53:46.020 But when the Bible talks about sexual temptation, it says flee.

00:53:50.200 it says literally run away from there because our bodies we were designed for you know sexual

00:53:57.040 attraction and only in the context of marriage and so when you see girls on a dating app or if

00:54:04.800 you're a woman if you see guys on a dating app and you struggle with pornography like i used to

00:54:10.460 struggle with pornography that kind of thing it's like a gateway even if you've never had that yeah

00:54:15.320 so here's the problem so how does a guy have leverage now she's got a hundred percent control

00:54:22.940 of sex if she's being a bitch he has to appease her because he can't even go watch corn he can't

00:54:29.980 even it's like they just want men to take L's then the other thing is they say that sexual

00:54:35.500 attraction isn't important and then they wonder like this is how the it when you start thinking

00:54:41.780 about it it's so obvious how christian married men are the number one ones buying only fans

00:54:47.680 and i've talked to the only fans models they'll tell you this you guys are targets i and it's

00:54:53.360 because they just shame the male sex drive that's really what they do because they want the woman

00:55:00.960 to be in control of the male sex drive can you imagine being so cucked you can't even watch

00:55:05.420 corn in your own house and like you have to sleep with her even if she's being a yeah a bitch

00:55:12.600 she before it just it triggers something that you are she's trying she's starting to reveal her list

00:55:19.280 curveballs expand on that not supposed to have triggered and it can make it so that you either

00:55:25.880 relapse or it could be a gateway into something way more and since you're in the privacy of your

00:55:30.720 own home or wherever like she was saying you fazelle says my religion promises 72 virgins i

00:55:36.860 said keep them for yourself i'm good with the mormons and white chicks i smash in real life

00:55:41.500 i don't wait for heaven i live like a god now stare as long as you want because out on the

00:55:48.560 street you can't just go you know staring down somebody that might be dressed immodestly i also

00:55:54.400 think that unhealthy behaviors do develop when you're having people of the opposite sex just

00:56:02.000 affirm you and compliment you all the time i think that that can become addicting oh yeah

00:56:06.820 self-esteem can be based in that and i just don't think that that is a i don't think it's healthy

00:56:11.480 oh 100 and it you know the last point that i was going to make before we start talking about the

00:56:16.920 individual apps is that it is such a burden on your self-esteem it becomes such an addiction

00:56:24.740 it becomes such a part of your life almost just like a social media imagine what social media

00:56:30.880 does to you because a lot of people feel like instagram or facebook or whatever like kind of

00:56:35.940 ruins your life imagine that except the only way that somebody follows you is if they find you

00:56:43.360 physically attractive or think that you could be a potential mate yeah if

00:56:47.920 god they just want men to get cucked like i swear to god you factor that in imagine how

00:56:58.400 much more depressing it gets do you know what your wife defines you hot i don't know why

00:57:05.520 isn't that kind of the bare minimum right you think that wow okay so nobody really wants to

00:57:13.680 spend the rest of their life with me no one values me in that way your self-esteem gets

00:57:18.960 tied up in it next thing you know you're getting notifications on your phone and you're literally

00:57:23.880 like you have to stop whatever else you're doing because that just becomes such an idol in your

00:57:28.940 life so now that we've discussed some of the dangers of being on dating apps i'm going to

00:57:34.380 just give a brief rundown of my experience on these dating apps to tell you which ones are the

00:57:39.340 ones that if you are going to if you're like listen sam say like i know that you guys are

00:57:45.320 warning me but my mind is set or my heart is set like i'm going to do this i'm going to just tell

00:57:51.100 you which ones you should actually bother trying first of all i will talk about tinder now tinder

00:57:57.220 gets a really really bad rap and everybody will tell you oh it's just a hookup app it's just a

00:58:02.280 hookup app and while absolutely it is predominantly a hookup app there are some i actually know a

00:58:11.320 decent amount of couples that met on tinder i i'm not saying do it or don't do it recently i've heard

00:58:18.400 a decent amount of couples scenarios i don't know how they started right maybe it started that way

00:58:24.180 where it actually has worked out for people the reason that i will absolutely never recommend

00:58:31.080 tender to anyone is because the temptation to do something other than what you set out to do

00:58:37.280 as a christian on tinder is way too strong what's different between tinder and the others okay what's

00:58:44.920 actually in just the creation of the app what's different well tender is much more about like

00:58:52.880 for example pearl please make the simp stop i can't i can't no okay do you know what

00:58:58.460 they can't help it they like men just have to go through it they have to

00:59:03.900 some men are natural so that's not most i mean the same way women

00:59:08.660 i mean we got to get our ego killed at some point i mean they make the pictures way bigger than any

00:59:16.180 kind of bio or anything like that they're way less like you don't have to put in nearly as

00:59:21.500 much information there's way more like ability to remain anonymous way more shallow minded way more

00:59:27.240 it's way more shallow-minded for sure um part of the reason that i even tried it in the first place

00:59:32.360 is because so many people are on the app that it keeps you think and by the way guys we're gonna

00:59:38.200 do a call-in later so we're gonna um i want to know your experience if you've ever done christian

00:59:45.240 like dating apps and what's that that's been like thinking that there is the possibility that

00:59:50.360 somebody eventually that is the right person is going to show up it never happens just just a

00:59:57.880 spoiler alert but there is so much temptation if you're a christian that i would stay very far away

01:00:05.640 from tinder number two bumble tinder and bumble tend to be kind of the two you know really big

01:00:12.280 names when it comes to dating apps bumble is a lot better than tender as far as people that are

01:00:20.040 actually serious about finding a relationship i think typically from what i have found at least

01:00:26.120 from the men's perspective is they're usually more like mid-20s kind of women that already

01:00:32.520 kind of have a career figured out that are trying to kind of settle down so it's a lot more

01:00:39.400 conservative it's still horrible and it will still end up leaving you probably feeling really really

01:00:47.640 messed up the catch for bumble that's different than any other dating app is

01:00:52.520 that the woman has to send yes the woman has to send the first message which

01:00:59.060 becomes dangerous for guys I think because you're gonna be consuming that

01:01:03.640 and your ego is just gonna be oh except that that's not what happens oh yeah

01:01:14.760 she's so out of touch well i'll tell you i'll tell you right now that what generally happens

01:01:19.640 and i've known multiple guys that have been on bumble is that girls will match just to get their

01:01:26.920 self-esteem up and then they just never send a message and that happens about probably 90

01:01:33.240 of the time bumble is definitely a better option than tinder but even still i would not give it a

01:01:38.760 very high rating at all the next one that we're going to talk about is hinge that's i've heard

01:01:44.840 the best things from hinge the last couple years hinge is probably the closest to an actual social

01:01:53.040 media app that it could possibly get to because they will give you um they'll give you a bunch

01:02:00.420 of prompts and then they'll give you a bunch of pictures they'll go through and say you know hey

01:02:04.380 do you do you drink do you smoke what what are your beliefs they'll give you an option to say

01:02:09.340 i'm a christian i see this is where the dating apps get wrong they're like

01:02:14.140 you think you can get to women's beliefs by asking them

01:02:24.700 you don't understand women you know we just say things we don't even know what we believe we

01:02:29.420 believe one thing one day and one another it's like i'm looking for a woman with morals

01:02:34.380 so you want a man so you're gay like you basically want a guy oh i'm buddhist i'm whatever so you can

01:02:43.220 really know what you're getting yourself into i have to i have to think about this okay

01:02:47.960 would most women about 500 years ago in like greece or something your choice as a woman

01:02:55.640 you basically had to be a sex slave or go work in like the heat in egypt it was i have some

01:03:02.780 outdoor job for years, right? Terrible, gruesome job. Do you think most women in that situation

01:03:08.520 would just go be the sex slave? Frickin' we all would rather than work a grueling job for like 50

01:03:16.360 years. I mean, I wouldn't want, it wouldn't be my first choice, but in that situation,

01:03:22.860 when you think about it like that, women have situational morals. I mean, at some point in

01:03:29.420 history women literally got killed by one guy and had to go fall in love with the next other

01:03:34.720 otherwise we die this is what we had to do historically okay we were in our tribe we

01:03:40.640 were hanging out we were in love with their husband we're like this is amazing what a great

01:03:44.780 life i'm like tiki tiki it or whatever then one guy comes in and says i want this land and your

01:03:52.340 guy says no you can't have this land he said too bad boom he gets your husband's dead and then now

01:03:58.360 you have to sleep with the new guy and love him and be loyal to him and watch him kill your

01:04:04.380 children and we had to do it that we literally had to do it otherwise we died and you want a

01:04:15.040 woman with morals oh that's hilarious before you end up making a decision the the thing with the

01:04:27.440 thing with hinge that makes it better to me than a lot of the other apps out

01:04:31.880 there is that they'll give you prompts and you're able to actually react to a

01:04:35.960 person's prompts rather than just say okay I'm just gonna swipe through this

01:04:40.200 person's pictures so they might ask a question and then you can reply to that

01:04:44.420 question and then depending on how you reply to that question they can decide

01:04:48.680 okay do I want to contact this person back I think it inspires a lot more

01:04:55.280 actual thoughtful conversation and it's a lot more like meeting on an Instagram rather than

01:05:01.720 actually meeting on an actual dating app. I would say that probably the least horrible people

01:05:10.920 that I have met during my time on dating apps were on Hinge and you know obviously none of it

01:05:18.340 worked out but it was a much more positive experience feeling like yeah like okay I met

01:05:25.060 person that was a nice person like it didn't work out but like it was a nice

01:05:29.260 person then it wasn't like a horrible horrible experience so you would say out

01:05:34.180 of all of these hinge is the best one because you have people going on there

01:05:38.500 with the right intentions for the most part there's still obviously it's never

01:05:43.440 gonna be a hundred percent but compared to bumble and tender hinge is the best

01:05:50.200 to me i believe that it and i won't say it's the best yet because i have one more app that i want

01:05:56.600 to talk about but hinge is definitely the least dating appy experience that you could get it's a

01:06:04.840 very very good i think starting point if you are going to try a dating app i do not recommend that

01:06:11.640 you do just for the record but if you are insisting that you're going to try one i would probably try

01:06:16.840 hinge first so the final dating app that we're going to talk about is an app called upward now

01:06:22.200 there are a pretty decent amount of christian dating apps out there and to be honest i think

01:06:28.360 that they pretty much all stink and part of the reason for that is because there is number one

01:06:33.240 a very very low number of people actually on those apps so if you did actually see someone

01:06:40.920 that you think there might could be a connection with they're probably about a thousand miles away

01:06:46.360 what about christian mingle christian mingle is i mean the positive advertisements on tv

01:06:53.080 what about christian mingle oh man i love i love advertisements on tv they're always very truthful

01:06:58.760 and accurate so that's probably a doozy too i i have no idea honestly christian mingle is much

01:07:04.360 more like advertised towards people that are out of our not even middle age just you know

01:07:10.280 yeah i'm getting brother sister vibes yeah i mean that's what you get if you want a brother

01:07:15.800 sister vibe for a marriage. Good luck. Good luck. Okay. So next we're going to talk about a girl

01:07:24.720 talking about how she met her husband on a Christian dating app. This is an opportunist

01:07:31.660 on a Christian dating Christian men are like the most vulnerable group.

01:07:38.000 Here we go. I actually met my husband on a Christian dating app. I used to be so against

01:07:43.380 dating apps i wanted the typical rom-com story girl meets a guy i wanted a beautiful story to

01:07:49.100 share to family and friends of how i met my husband i felt that going on a dating app just

01:07:53.260 made me look desperate so i just didn't want to try any kind of dating apps until a family friend

01:07:58.780 sat me down and explained a couple things to me that just made a lot of sense she said when you're

01:08:04.960 in high school your pool of people to choose from or to date it's your classmates it's the students

01:08:12.380 when you're in college your pool expands so you know it's thousands and thousands of students in

01:08:17.800 college but as you get older your pool starts to get smaller and smaller maybe your pool is

01:08:23.840 in church maybe your pool becomes your workplace as you get older your pool begins to get smaller

01:08:31.220 and smaller so where do you go to meet other people your age that are single have to go where

01:08:36.780 other singles your age are at and in my case I was in my early 30s and she said for you there

01:08:42.060 online and so that just made sense right i mean it's nothing new but it did make sense so i tried

01:08:48.860 several christian dating apps but there was one that i really liked and this one made me feel

01:08:54.440 safe and i was on and off you know for about seven months until the end of april i got a message from

01:09:01.720 someone named matt we messaged for several days by day five we had our first phone call two months

01:09:07.700 after that uh we met for the first time in person three months after that he proposed god

01:09:18.660 two months after that we got married you guys can't even wait like six months these guys are

01:09:24.900 desperate this week three years of marriage we celebrate three years of marriage now i know

01:09:30.500 there are some gross people online on dating apps even christian dating apps there are some good men

01:09:36.020 too oh and then yeah i'm gonna call you a good man i got bad news for you fellas

01:09:42.900 i got bad news for you i hate to say it but that basically means she sees you

01:09:50.180 as a brother dating app that i used it's called holy oh yeah poor christian guys they just become

01:10:00.420 targets we're going to do a call-in in a little bit i have two more tick tocks to watch or two

01:10:06.980 more videos so then after that we're going to do a call-in okay i want you to think about before

01:10:16.180 getting on the dating apps number one wait hold that for me okay five things i want you to think

01:10:24.820 about before getting on the dating apps number one you still in a place or a season where you

01:10:29.700 are surrounded by singles opportunities to meet people so easy to want to get on the dating apps

01:10:34.020 because we're lonely in a season where you're 22 and you're surrounded by all these people at your

01:10:39.540 church or where you're going about you don't need a dating app point of the dating app is to find

01:10:44.660 people because you're in an environment where there's no longer people to date get plugged

01:10:49.700 into a church find a hobby where you know young adults are and chase after it number two if you

01:10:56.180 you got rejected by the boy you went on the date with from the apps would your worth be shattered

01:11:02.280 do not get on the apps until you are secure enough in who the lord says about you so that even if

01:11:10.220 this boy is like i don't want to date you again you're not swayed not affected because your worth

01:11:15.700 is not going up and down based on what he thinks about you number three invite your closest people

01:11:21.440 in invite community in and ask them to speak in you are not smart when it comes to wanting to

01:11:27.200 date someone they might be able to point out blind spots that you're not aware of ask people to say

01:11:33.920 am i spiritually emotionally and mentally able to handle the apps trust their wisdom yeah okay so

01:11:45.840 this you got a woman trying to date like a teenager as an adult when you bring in the

01:11:50.480 community and stuff that's cool if you're below you guys got till the end of college to do that

01:11:56.320 but after then you got to think for yourself date for your i mean you can do what you want i just

01:12:01.120 guys aren't really going to go for that john says pearl in new york verbal abuse is illegal so the

01:12:05.520 best of luck enforcing boundaries as emotional abuse can mean anything for the bull poll around

01:12:10.880 25 women are looking to suffer number four pray about it y'all i literally did not get on the apps

01:12:15.840 until gosh like a month and a half ago and i legitimately was on the apps for one month and i

01:12:21.000 went on three dates but i prayed about that for a while and i never felt like the lord said yes

01:12:26.360 and finally i felt like he gave me the green light went on a few dates and it was fine but i was like

01:12:31.080 man even if you don't like me whatever so i got on the apps when i was feeling the least confident

01:12:37.500 in my body because i was wanting to challenge myself and be like i'm gonna go on these dates

01:12:43.940 and I'm going to be me. I'm not going to pretend to be something that I'm not. I'm not going to

01:12:48.540 arrive before I can date. I'm going in confident in who the Lord says about me, not on the way

01:12:54.480 that I look. Number five, do not get on the dating apps if you are looking for validation or you're

01:13:01.140 insecure. You go into a relationship insecure, you're going to be in a relationship insecure.

01:13:06.700 No man, no relationship, no date will fix the God-shaped hole in your heart. Your security

01:13:13.160 in confidence comes from the Lord. It will never be satisfied, even if you date the godliest,

01:13:20.580 cutest guy on the dating apps. Dating apps, yes or no, be free.

01:13:28.120 Okay. Next, we got, should Christians be on dating apps?

01:13:34.740 all right now we're gonna put the zoom in the chat and then you guys can call in before i

01:13:44.320 watch this but um so if you guys have an experience with christian like being a christian on dating

01:13:51.260 apps or anything like that feel free to call in oh my gosh go

01:13:58.100 about it personally i see dating apps

01:14:02.640 christians beyond dating apps let's talk about it personally i see dating apps almost as like having

01:14:10.020 an instagram account or any other social media platform we use the internet every day to connect

01:14:15.420 with lots of different people dating apps i think can be a great way to connect with people that

01:14:20.320 are also looking for the same things that you're looking for dating relationship future spouse

01:14:25.540 whatever i don't think being on a dating app has anything to do with if you're a man of god or a

01:14:30.320 woman of God or not, it all comes down to your heart. Ultimately, we should be inviting the

01:14:35.840 Holy Spirit into our dating process and asking ourselves, okay, am I on this app because I'm

01:14:40.720 bored, because I'm lonely, to fill a void, to pass the time? But if not, and you're genuinely just

01:14:46.160 wanting to find your person, then I think dating apps could be a great tool. I've heard so many

01:14:51.560 success stories of amazing, godly couples that have connected through a dating app.

01:14:55.860 so she had a good experience I guess you cope since I went to the beach on a day

01:15:00.360 no one would be there it was 9 a.m. and I went to sleep at 10 a.m. I wake up and

01:15:03.480 there are three women within six of me six feet of me beach was empty one of

01:15:07.200 them I spoke to and seven months okay Doug MPA how's it going what was your

01:15:20.460 experience on dating apps with Christian women go ahead I don't know your your mic sounds a little

01:15:35.460 weird today is that us or him it's gonna be him

01:15:44.840 um let me bring on the next person or let me try again

01:15:51.860 it just sounds really weird to me i don't know if it's my headphones or

01:15:57.780 no if it's him try it let's let's bring in one more person and see if their mic is any better

01:16:03.020 okay uh rob how's it going

01:16:10.020 and we can put them on screen if you guys don't want to be on screen today

01:16:22.300 and call and do a different show i don't know what to tell you

01:16:28.140 um also guys please get to the point with your stories please don't draw down for like 10 minutes

01:16:35.000 like

01:16:35.520 just you know

01:16:38.760 I try to be like I'm trying to be

01:16:40.840 accommodating here but

01:16:42.200 you know I like when

01:16:44.960 we get to it you know

01:16:46.220 okay

01:16:48.140 seems like Rob's having issues just go to the next

01:16:51.120 one

01:16:51.540 and then

01:16:54.300 okay Edward can you turn your camera

01:17:01.160 on for me please

01:17:02.200 i guess not we'll move on to the next one try doug mpa again

01:17:19.900 okay um

01:17:26.340 doug mpa

01:17:32.200 Is this better?

01:17:33.460 Oh, way better.

01:17:35.220 Okay, yeah.

01:17:36.540 Something going on with my microphone.

01:17:39.280 So here's the thing about, I have recent history with women that are Christian on dating apps.

01:17:47.220 Women, by the time they're in their mid-30s, they're set in their ways, and you can see that their religion is one of the reasons why they're keeping them single.

01:17:56.160 i met this orthodox christian ethiopian girl

01:17:59.860 uh she was born in america but she's a culturally ethiopian and she was now guys i'm in my mid 40s

01:18:10.240 okay she was in her mid 30s like 35 and she went to church on thursdays saturdays sundays and went

01:18:19.420 to bible study on monday right now she's 35 had some bs degree in something that wasn't going to

01:18:27.640 make her any money and she fully expected to find a man to let her stay at home with children at 35

01:18:34.680 and then she expected the man to join her church because it was very important to her

01:18:40.320 so the man she was with would have to join her church and she's 35 and put her in a position

01:18:47.340 to stay home and raise children first off i don't have any kids i don't want them so we were

01:18:52.240 automatically not not compatible but but that's the experience of a lot of super religious women

01:18:58.700 in their 30s they they have this expectation that you have to join their church their religion and

01:19:05.580 the way that they see this whole god thing well it's super crazy because it's like christian

01:19:11.300 women don't think they have to do any work other than go to church so she didn't have to get married

01:19:16.360 didn't have kids to be a religious woman she just had to show up to church and read her bible like

01:19:22.120 that's kind of the bare minimum do you know what i mean that's not it's not really difficult to do

01:19:27.320 yeah i asked you that i said if you're so dedicated to your church what how are you single

01:19:34.720 what'd she say she had no answer no real answer you know i had to travel you know i had i had

01:19:44.720 school all this stuff but it's just like now you value i don't know she didn't have a good answer

01:19:49.920 for him but she's holding every man she meets now to this high standard yeah they always think they

01:19:55.520 can get what they got they could have got when they were 20. could you bring dustin in let's see

01:20:00.480 what he has to say or or and then you know i uh i've been black on this planet for for over 40 years

01:20:08.960 uh in the black community a lot of black women are are are married to jesus jesus is their man

01:20:16.640 and no man in real life will ever measure up to him brutal hey dustin would you mind putting the

01:20:24.000 phone down so we can get like maybe sit at a desk or something oh yeah yeah sorry it's all right

01:20:30.800 it just makes the content a little better yeah so are you christian

01:20:38.960 No, I'm actually Jewish, but I will be Christian on those apps, I tell you what.

01:20:46.480 Let's go.

01:20:49.360 That was so funny.

01:20:50.780 Okay.

01:20:51.460 So what's your experience dating Christian women on the apps?

01:20:56.760 There was, I downloaded that Upward, and I like how that guy's like on Hinge, you can

01:21:03.460 react.

01:21:04.760 Like if you weren't on Hinge, you wouldn't be reacting to what anyone says.

01:21:08.960 But I met a girl on Upward, and she was this really beautiful Ukrainian Orthodox chick.

01:21:17.720 And I started hanging out with her and her kids, and I thought it was going somewhere.

01:21:26.860 And I was trying to be a good guy.

01:21:30.480 Did you see her and her kids?

01:21:32.860 Yeah.

01:21:33.680 Okay.

01:21:34.180 Yeah.

01:21:34.560 And, you know, OK, like if you're ever on a dry street, single moms, that's where you head.

01:21:41.000 That's where you go. And I'll figure it out.

01:21:44.720 I like this guy. I write down my schemes in a little book and I see if they work.

01:21:51.860 And so everything was good.

01:21:55.960 And I was like, oh, I could see myself with this lady.

01:21:58.440 and the problem with Christian women is that they say things like I want a man

01:22:04.900 to lead me I want this but they don't want a man to lead them they want a man

01:22:09.640 to lead them in the way that they want the guy to lead them so they really just

01:22:14.460 want to be in control and they kind of you they they really use the Bible like

01:22:21.840 oh the Bible says this so you can't do this and they pretend like they're gonna

01:22:26.780 to withhold sex from you and then like the moment a christian chick says i'm waiting till marriage

01:22:32.800 you're like you know you're gonna get it on like the third date like it's just this is how it goes

01:22:37.420 and i did we did like i slept with her and then all of a sudden all these crazy uh

01:22:45.640 what do you call them like crazy rules came into play that i had to meet and i was kind of like

01:22:51.760 whoa like what happened the past three months like i was just taking care of stuff and you

01:22:56.720 had no issue but then it was like what were some of the rules oh the one she broke up with me for

01:23:03.040 was because i got a christmas tree i got like because i i have a three-year-old daughter and

01:23:08.960 i'm all about making memories and uh so i got a christmas tree that was like three feet tall

01:23:15.760 and she was like well that's a golden calf and i was like what's freaking wrong with you it's

01:23:19.520 it's a tree dude so she broke up with me over a three-foot tree like i even took a photo of it

01:23:25.120 holding it like a lightsaber and i was like this is really it you know and um that was one there

01:23:31.600 was like i was okay with even paying for everything i was like you just like i will take care of it

01:23:38.960 but um she had like there can't be a christmas tree in the house there can't be all these other

01:23:45.080 are like religious symbols and just really odd things and um so that that just didn't work out

01:23:51.960 but uh it's all good you know like plenty other women where that came from can you give me some

01:23:58.980 examples of how she didn't want to be led you said earlier that they want to they say they want to be

01:24:04.620 led but then you try to lead and they just want to be led in the way they want to be led

01:24:08.960 yeah so it was like here's the thing uh hang on um okay uh she goes i need a bigger car

01:24:19.240 and i say okay well i'm gonna get this volkswagen atlas because this is a good family car and i do

01:24:26.140 want to have another kid i get it and she's like well i wanted more of like a hyundai palisade with

01:24:31.060 an extra row and i was like yeah well i'm the guy i'm leading so this is what i say that we need

01:24:36.840 oh well that's that okay and then it's she wants a house so we're looking at houses and i'm like

01:24:43.680 well i want a house in this location because of the school district because of this and she goes

01:24:50.060 well i don't agree with that so i want it over here and i say whoa like if you want this peaceful

01:24:55.340 life like you should have no stress like you need to i'm going to take care of everything

01:24:59.700 and you're going to live within these parameters like this is how you will operate if you don't

01:25:04.300 want distress that i have to deal with then you need to like just let me take care of it and um

01:25:10.260 that just she just wanted i was to lead as long as i was spending the money the way she wanted

01:25:17.060 as long as everything was in her plan like i i was only uh like a bank account so you said you

01:25:25.940 said that you're actually jewish but you just pretend to be christian dude just on a dating

01:25:31.920 app just on a date yeah when do you like tell them oh well they go they go they go so what do you

01:25:39.340 think about jesus i'm like well i think he's a cool guy but he's not like real like he's real

01:25:45.420 in the spirit like god's real everyone believes in god because he's real spirit yeah i'm taking

01:25:51.720 those guys keep talking if everyone believes in god because if god wasn't real none of us would

01:25:59.340 be talking about so he has to be real and i guess it's like a psychopathic thing because i know what

01:26:07.300 women mean when they're like what do you think about jesus you know i'm like well jesus is great

01:26:11.540 and he's probably he might have been a real guy but he didn't like rise from the dead and if a

01:26:17.420 woman says what do you mean by that i say yo to get convicted of murder you need three witnesses

01:26:21.240 3 000 years ago two guys say they saw that and you're going to believe it it doesn't make any

01:26:27.000 sense so that's just that's what i say about jesus does that ever deter them uh there was

01:26:35.860 there's like been two that were like well you're not the one for me but usually they don't ask

01:26:39.700 that question until it's like the deed's been done you know are you kind of hold off on answer

01:26:45.080 so one of my biggest problems is um it's hard for me to just sit there and let women talk

01:26:54.840 just to get laid, right?

01:26:58.380 So are you one of those people

01:26:59.280 if you're going out

01:27:01.820 with a really pretty Christian girl,

01:27:03.500 you can just listen to her talk

01:27:05.420 through all of her BS

01:27:06.800 just to get laid?

01:27:09.020 Oh, no.

01:27:10.820 Like, sometimes I used to do that.

01:27:13.160 I used to be the lending ear,

01:27:16.040 but now I'm kind of like

01:27:18.780 much more challenging

01:27:20.240 because I don't know

01:27:22.640 how you have experience dating.

01:27:24.840 but like nowadays especially on dating apps like i'm 33 like i usually it usually gets to the

01:27:33.000 bedroom on the first or second date so i don't have to listen to him talk for very long and um

01:27:38.520 but if if they're gonna blab on about that i'm like look this is not worth my time

01:27:44.200 and then it's just see you later and like i have a kid and i'm trying to have another kid

01:27:49.720 so i'm like i'm trying to get through women and uh if they're just blabbing on about their life

01:27:56.920 i think there's certain stories women tell that they need to have female friends for

01:28:01.480 and i don't want to hear those stories you know the criteria for those stories so because i always

01:28:09.800 say this is doug mpa by the way uh the female friendly version of the story is where they're

01:28:16.280 They're the hero and the victim

01:28:17.960 at the same time.

01:28:21.740 You know exactly what I'm talking about.

01:28:25.260 I thought I could change him.

01:28:27.400 I loved him so much, but

01:28:28.860 he couldn't realize what I was doing for him.

01:28:32.460 He just didn't appreciate me.

01:28:35.220 Yeah.

01:28:36.100 I did everything I possibly...

01:28:37.780 I gave him everything and he just

01:28:39.920 left me.

01:28:40.780 All I did was give, give, give.

01:28:43.160 i do so much for everyone yeah that's how i ended up with my daughter dude

01:28:51.200 i wrote in a book in high school i said i want to get the hottest chick i find pregnant

01:28:56.280 but i want her to be so crazy she ends up in jail so i don't have to deal with her

01:28:59.880 but she was not crazy enough so we just made a really awesome kid and now i'm

01:29:04.860 uh you know doing the whole child support thing that is cool it's just so do you want to get

01:29:09.720 married and have a kid oh hell yeah that's the only way to do it again like yeah i mean i don't

01:29:16.100 know if that is the only way because i listen to pearl and she's like marriage is not good

01:29:19.820 like you're not that but like it it's uh it's stacked against guys which it totally is like i

01:29:25.200 was pro se in court so i know it's really hard but um i think like we need to put our values in the

01:29:32.440 right places and that's what religion is like a glue i think so i'm gonna ask you another question

01:29:38.080 so what is the difference between

01:29:40.080 you vetting

01:29:42.380 okay so you

01:29:44.040 vetted wrong with the daughter of

01:29:45.920 with the mother of your daughter so what's

01:29:48.000 different and what you're looking for in the next

01:29:50.120 mother of your next child

01:29:51.460 compared to the first one

01:29:52.840 she's quiet

01:29:54.520 nice and

01:29:58.200 simple

01:29:58.640 she knows how to shut the F up

01:30:02.380 yeah I'm dating

01:30:04.060 a girl now and if we're at

01:30:06.020 dinner and she doesn't know what to eat I'm like

01:30:08.080 don't talk i'm ordering for you she's just fine with it like she's she's if she's very decisive

01:30:14.400 and when she's not decisive i don't wait for her i just order for her and she just eats it

01:30:19.040 and doesn't complain and i'm like this is a good woman as a good woman the bar is so low

01:30:25.040 that's all we got to do oh yeah yeah i was like all right uh i have so because i want a woman who's

01:30:36.320 who and i'm still trying to trying to quite define this but i want a woman who's who's literally on

01:30:41.040 my team you know what i'm saying because yeah i always say when men win everyone wins when women

01:30:47.440 win they win for themselves so i want a woman who's on my team and odds are your first baby's

01:30:54.240 mother was never on your team it's so right i actually wrote about that um like i don't think

01:31:00.400 you men should go to therapy you need to write figure out what like learn from yourself and i

01:31:07.440 put like you want a woman that's in your corner you want someone rooting for you and women don't

01:31:13.120 know how to root for men and they don't even know how to root for each other because i mean pearl

01:31:17.520 when you were in high school and girls tried to give you advice how many times did you take it

01:31:21.440 it well yeah never yeah the women don't even listen to each other yeah the thing about this

01:31:30.760 whole being on your team thing it's like you can't even quite quantify like what it actually

01:31:36.520 means but you know it when you have it you know what i'm saying yeah you you could just tell when

01:31:42.700 a woman's on your team and you could tell when she's not i have a i do have a rule when i'm

01:31:48.840 dating that by the i say like i will pay for everything up to like three or four dates if

01:31:54.240 she's really sweet and then um i tell them i'm like look like i want to know what you would do

01:32:00.760 for me and that's what the girl i'm dating now i'm like if you don't do something for me in the

01:32:05.520 next two months i'm gonna move my mom in and i'm gonna not talk to you anymore and she was like

01:32:11.680 lol okay and she told me she was gonna plan a date for me this week but she hasn't so i don't

01:32:16.720 know i might be uh i might be having a roommate soon yeah dude women uh i think you do need a

01:32:26.120 woman on your team and a good woman will know you and she'll she'll definitely put the effort forth

01:32:31.760 and say like hey like i got your back yeah i'm single so maybe don't take advice from me i'm

01:32:37.720 single okay well thank you so much for calling in dustin you're pretty funny so call in whatever

01:32:45.100 okay all right thanks all right yeah i'll be bluey um who you can put in

01:32:57.340 uh put in rob next

01:33:01.560 uh hey rob how's it going

01:33:15.100 i'm gonna give you robert are you there i'm gonna give you another

01:33:17.420 five four three two one you're out you guys gotta come in ready all right i at least you

01:33:29.040 gotta give you something all right who's next let me see the the waiting room all right do uh jackson

01:33:38.260 oh oh gabe's there okay gabe i need camera on mike on

01:33:45.660 hello pearl gabe what's going on man

01:33:51.620 hello yeah yeah so what's your here how's it going nice tie you came in dressed to impress

01:34:04.220 huh i wore this in school today so yeah oh nice so um tell me what's your experience

01:34:12.540 are you are you christian let's start look pearl are you christian

01:34:20.620 i uh was baptized catholic as a baby i wasn't really ever raised religious but to get

01:34:26.700 straight to the point like towards the end of like the 14 years that i wasted on dating apps

01:34:34.220 I tried to filter out like Tradcon girls and yeah, didn't see anything compared to keeping filters open or whatever.

01:34:49.220 um i went on one speed dating event one time in person and the last guy that you were talking to

01:35:00.340 i thought he was really funny because yeah i lied about basically being religious which

01:35:07.300 i wasn't really at the time okay and so what was your experience dating religious women

01:35:16.700 or christian women were they any different i've never dated anyone religious but like

01:35:24.860 i can think back to a couple times when i um met girls that would say that they were like christian

01:35:33.300 and even back when i was a lot more naive when i was younger i always felt like i could see past

01:35:43.440 their bs based on basically how they would basically walk around like a thirst trap or

01:35:52.640 would hear later on that oh yeah cindy you know was doing 304 activities like with

01:36:03.840 brad or whatever i'm just throwing like examples out there i'm not

01:36:08.240 name those those aren't real names of people i'm just improvising i honestly

01:36:15.280 is that something well played no that makes sense so you always kind of knew that they're

01:36:20.560 full from a young age yeah i mean it's tough because i've always been told even being raised

01:36:29.120 by liberals and feminists like you should go for a religious girl you should go for

01:36:34.960 For a girl like the Duggars or whatever, stuff like that, which, I mean, to me, even as embracing Catholicism again in life, I just feel like, hmm, I don't know if I really like them as an example, which, I mean, that's my, but it is what it is.

01:36:51.840 But that pretty much sums up everything else.

01:36:54.520 I mean, that sums up everything on my end.

01:36:58.140 Cool.

01:36:58.640 Well, thanks for calling, Gabe.

01:37:00.560 It's a pleasure as always, okay?

01:37:03.560 Yeah.

01:37:04.320 All right.

01:37:04.960 bye-bye all right bye the next one we got in the queue is gonna be well thanks for calling gabe

01:37:15.520 it's a pleasure as always all right we got jackson next how's it going jackson

01:37:20.960 i can hear you perfectly okay excellent excellent first time calling in um

01:37:28.560 well thanks for calling are you do you have the video playing in the background

01:37:32.080 they do let me turn it off okay is that better yeah that's better okay there we go yeah so are

01:37:38.880 you christian i am i'm a bible believing christian um and i have been using the dating apps for quite

01:37:46.640 some time what i would say in a word is christian women on the dating apps are super picky that's

01:37:53.600 the first uh adjective that comes to my mind like they are it's really really hard to set

01:38:00.000 up a date with them i've noticed like the same hypergamy stuff that we always talk about on

01:38:05.760 other dating apps and all that just applies as full force or possibly even more with the christian

01:38:12.160 dating apps um like like i found that i had to really learn how to even text them because you

01:38:20.880 have to text them a very specific way like if you if you use too many exclamation points or emojis

01:38:26.080 or something like that it can come across as feminine and stuff and i had to and i still am

01:38:30.640 by no means any kind of expert on it but i i still uh have learned to text a little bit better than

01:38:37.920 better than i used to and i've been able to get you know more dates than i have in the past but then

01:38:43.520 i also find the second thing besides it being just super pit them just being super picky to get the

01:38:48.960 date in the first place i find that they catfish a lot um like i i've noticed a lot of them are a

01:38:56.400 lot heavier than they look in their profile pictures like taking photos of just like now

01:39:02.960 i know it's a huge red flag if there's no like full body shot of them standing somewhere or

01:39:08.960 something like that the modesty is more convenient rather than out of virtue it doesn't count if you

01:39:15.760 don't have a hot body yeah yeah well exactly right sorry what camera angles they take their pictures

01:39:24.480 at be if they only take pictures where it's like up above them a little bit coming downward or you

01:39:31.200 know the certain angles where you you can't see their double chins and stuff exactly right you

01:39:35.760 gotta watch out yeah yeah i i i've i've been on on several dates where that's the case um then

01:39:43.680 another thing I find is that that the thing that Pearl always talks about which is the I'm

01:39:51.300 traditional except I'm really not like I was on a date with this woman a few weeks ago actually

01:39:57.340 from a dating app from Hinge who said she was a Christian and she may be a Christian I personally

01:40:03.020 definitely believe you can genuinely be a Christian and yet not have some things right and

01:40:08.660 that sort of thing. So I'm not saying she isn't a Christian, but she was saying that like, oh,

01:40:14.200 I'm traditional. And so I said, you know, that that's interesting. What do you mean by that?

01:40:18.360 And she was like, well, I mean that I'm a Trump supporter. I'm like, oh, okay. That that's a good

01:40:23.560 start. But what would, and like, I asked her the classic question of, cause she had this career

01:40:28.580 she wanted to do. What if your husband wanted to you to not do that, to be a stay at home wife? Oh,

01:40:36.060 no I would never do that yeah and like yeah that's short-circuited when you asked her that

01:40:40.320 exactly right exactly right does she realize Amber Rose is a Trump supporter yeah yeah yeah

01:40:46.880 I mean that's that that's true but but I I do think I do think most would like I'm not saying

01:40:54.240 you're you're you're not wrong there are Amber Rose Trump supporters out there I do think most

01:40:58.560 women like that like Amber Rose are probably not Trump supporters but yeah that's that's the case

01:41:04.660 I've found and then the worst time ever um what just because it was the most painful to me is

01:41:12.720 I actually did find a woman on Upward the dating app we're talking about I'll just I'll just name

01:41:18.140 the app um who we went on a few dates and it felt like a match made in heaven honestly like

01:41:26.520 I've never met to this day another woman who at least from everything I could tell

01:41:33.660 with me aligning our values and what we like to do and our life plans including in some rather

01:41:39.460 unique ways about myself we seem to align absolutely perfectly and this this won't

01:41:44.640 surprise pearl at all but she just cut everything off for with basically no explanation she just

01:41:50.000 sort of canceled all of a sudden um and so yeah i mean this is all so all she's probably married

01:41:56.200 sorry she's probably married i don't i don't think she's married but she it was another guy

01:42:03.380 that she ended up going out with after this um so you're on the right track uh there she wasn't

01:42:09.640 married fortunately but anyway the um all this to really say is that in my in my personal

01:42:17.480 experience what pearl talks about regarding christian women not being any different than

01:42:23.860 just women in general it just it just i mean i i i would have i hate to believe that that's true

01:42:30.180 but that's what i experience on a day-to-day basis if that makes sense i'm gonna ask you a question

01:42:35.780 is there uh are you in your 30s 40s i'm 32 almost 33 yeah so is there a red flag age where a woman

01:42:49.540 is at a certain age and she says she's a christian because you know me i'm in my 40s and if a woman

01:42:55.780 says she's she she's a christian in her 30s but she's never been married and she doesn't have any

01:43:01.460 children i'm like wait what's going on here like it's kind of a red flag so that but yeah i'm not

01:43:07.380 religious not even close sure so sure gotcha gotcha so i don't quite look i see what you're

01:43:13.540 asking i don't look at it quite that way um by the way interesting fact about me and this is not this

01:43:19.940 is not typical of christians especially more conservative christians like myself but i've

01:43:24.660 never really personally desired to have kids i've definitely always desired to be married

01:43:30.100 um at least in the biblical sense not necessarily talking about state marriage that's a whole other

01:43:34.580 discussion good man but but but um i again i'm not saying i'm completely closed to that if that's

01:43:41.540 god's will for my life so it's not a it's not i definitely you know i'm completely closed to that

01:43:47.140 either but what here but to answer your your actual question for me what is more important

01:43:53.380 than the age i see where you're going with the age i really do but what i ask when a woman says

01:43:59.780 she's a christian is well what do you mean by that explain tell you tell me what a what a christian is

01:44:05.860 um and why you are and how you became one and that sort of thing and i i've had some good when

01:44:11.300 you ask that question yeah absolutely absolutely do you have do you have an idea in your mind that

01:44:17.460 yeah i believe oh is there is that a question where in your mind you have an idea that there's

01:44:24.020 a right answer yeah and a wrong answer for for sure for sure what would be the right answer

01:44:29.140 i come from a school of thought called uh free grace theology which is we believe salvation is

01:44:35.060 completely by God's grace. So that's another reason I think some of these Christian women

01:44:41.880 who are doing things I think are wrong still may actually be Christians, which doesn't mean their

01:44:47.400 behavior shouldn't be called out, obviously. But that's where I go with that. I see how closely

01:44:53.680 or not closely they align with that. So for me, that's personally more important than the age

01:45:01.080 they became but i'm also not saying you're you are on to something right like you do want to make

01:45:06.840 sure this isn't just the the woman's latest social club or something like that so i i do agree with

01:45:14.040 where you're coming in the chat the the last stop on the horror train is always the the church

01:45:21.160 that the last stop that that may be true but but i here's the the point is even if the

01:45:27.880 actually did become a christian that that doesn't make her a a good good wife material is just where

01:45:33.480 i'm going yeah smart man so yeah smart man and then one more question so uh you you're on christian

01:45:44.680 dating apps now i have yeah is your experience on a christian dating app uh vastly different than

01:45:52.120 regular dating apps? Not really. I mean, the one thing I will say is that that is a little

01:45:59.700 different is years ago back on Tinder, I did occasionally get some women who would send me

01:46:09.160 just some, you know, overtly sexual message. And I honestly don't even think a lot of them were even

01:46:15.420 trying to hook up with me. I think they were actually just kind of trolling and that sort of

01:46:19.760 thing or some of them could have even been bought accounts I don't know I haven't encountered that

01:46:25.040 as much on Christian dating apps but as far as just the you know the the getting them to go

01:46:31.620 them being super picky it's it's I think the same thing like like an analogy I thought of

01:46:37.780 is a lot of women will say you know I'm in my 30s where are all the good men all I've ever wanted is

01:46:44.140 to be married and in many cases have kids they'll say in that kind of thing and it's a little bit

01:46:48.820 to me like, you know, when I was, when I was going to college, my, my grand, I wanted to go to the

01:46:55.960 University of Texas at Austin. That was my dream school. But my grandfather said, no, that's too

01:47:01.660 expensive. You have to go in state because I happen to live in Colorado. So I went to Colorado

01:47:06.420 State. I mean, can you imagine if I had refused to go to Colorado State and said, all I ever wanted

01:47:11.800 was to go to college? I mean, that's what I feel like a lot of these women are doing, if that makes

01:47:17.360 sense yeah completely yeah and i i had a blast at csu like i i i i did i wasn't even that like

01:47:26.580 disappointed i was just thankful to get to go anywhere it's just that uh that analogy is always

01:47:32.240 stuck in my mind so yeah is your is your church is your church try to facilitate uh a christian

01:47:39.320 relationship they have a singles ministry or anything like that they don't not really i go

01:47:43.660 to other places for singles ministries. My church is just a very small Bible church where there are

01:47:51.840 there are a few people might there. First of all, it's not a very big church in general. There are

01:47:55.980 other people my age, but my friends are married. And I've been to I've been to secular singles

01:48:03.760 meetups as well. Like Jigsaw is in a lot of cities. That's another thing. But you have to be

01:48:10.800 just like like one thing pearl is just absolutely right about that i don't that i i would even argue

01:48:18.240 it's unbiblical the way they do it but that's a theological discussion is the way a lot of

01:48:23.340 christian women will shame male sexuality like that's something i had never heard anyone really

01:48:29.860 talk about that until i i found pearl's channel and her saying that it's like wow finally somebody

01:48:36.500 else noticed that yeah pearl has a special kind of passion when she talks about tradcon horse

01:48:42.820 it's the best i grew up around them they drive me nuts the best of pearl comes out when she's

01:48:48.940 talking about that well thanks so much for calling in jackson um i appreciate yeah calling

01:48:55.460 anytime i'll talk to you i'll talk to you guys later yeah cool bye all right that was a great

01:49:02.120 caller very concise i love it when they come in and they just have these are the mr boots he he

01:49:08.360 said that that the jackson sounds very very intellectual and and that might intimidate

01:49:14.840 the women that he goes out with this guy in the chat said that yeah and i could see that happening

01:49:20.680 yeah he's very logical yeah because we like the like if you get we're not logical creatures so

01:49:26.840 we're like what well and then these these chad con women in the church just expect men to be

01:49:33.240 idiots yeah um okay hey charles how's it going i think it's frozen

01:49:47.560 oh oh now he's moving again hey charles

01:49:50.360 oh where'd he go no he's gonna he's got up and left come back charles

01:49:59.600 charles i don't know if he is he muted

01:50:06.860 you guys gotta work on your zoom skills

01:50:17.140 let's see if you can get it put into the way

01:50:22.960 charles are you there all right well we'll try charles see if we can

01:50:26.320 you guys gotta come in ready to go all right

01:50:30.380 it kind of it kind of puts the show on hold if we're waiting for you guys to figure out the zoom

01:50:36.180 um there's a way to test before you guys come in okay we can try charles one more time

01:50:44.480 i can see if either of them figure it out okay okay now i it all right charles unmute

01:50:53.280 yeah i can unmute you're muted so i can see you you just go to the corner

01:51:00.560 it should be bottom like left corner okay now he's off mute are you there charles yes i am

01:51:08.240 there he is there he is how's it going charles i'm doing good how are you guys i'm good so what

01:51:17.000 is your are you a christian so i'm a christian i'm uh i've not done the dating app thing but i can

01:51:24.120 tell you about churchy entity women um it's funny i'm i'm divorced i'm 60 years old currently thank

01:51:31.360 god i have a girlfriend that's 49 and i get sex every day so i'm happy

01:51:36.300 no wonder he's got that smile was your ex-wife like super christian we did the whole typical

01:51:47.380 christian marriage thing with your ex-wife well no so she wasn't my ex wasn't christian

01:51:52.660 she was a psychiatrist psychologist and there it is but um but i had the um i had the withholding

01:52:03.260 for like two years from her before my divorce so um god's being good to me now but i'll tell

01:52:11.960 you all the women in my church though it's like born again uh single moms come in and get their

01:52:18.960 born-again virginity you know they get baptized and then they get their virginity and these simps

01:52:24.560 like are are all over them like like white on rice it kind of i i go to these bible studies and i tell

01:52:32.880 guys don't do it you're you're headed for problems um but the simpidemic is real and i wish i could

01:52:42.160 get it through to guys uh you know 50 and younger like you know go for it when you know don't buy

01:52:52.800 into the bs and the um the stuff they preach in church is absolutely insane you're you're right

01:53:01.280 about the pastors and you're right about the the band people they all walk around like they own

01:53:07.120 the place and and the youth ministers too oh yeah i forgot about them like like they are it's brutal

01:53:15.920 it is absolutely brutal and um pearl i love what you do but uh the christian the christian

01:53:24.080 conservative women are a whole group unto themselves that the woke women are out of

01:53:30.560 their minds and you can tell by the laughter what that they're woke and just go the other way

01:53:37.680 i always say because remember nature market nature marks its most poisonous things and

01:53:43.920 with odd shapes and like weird colors so feminists and all them you you can catch them by their

01:53:49.920 purple hair and that like septum piercing and stuff but these fake trad cons they look like

01:53:55.680 everybody else so they're hard to spot it's amazing and they blend right in and i don't know what it

01:54:01.360 is but like society falls for this tradcon thing like it's absolutely mind-numbing the the fact

01:54:10.920 that men are so willing to give up the ghost for anything um i i don't know you know if you're

01:54:19.740 stoic and you're a guy and you can take the seven seconds or seven breaths to slow things down a bit

01:54:25.940 you're going to save yourself a lot of trouble in this world so um what age what age do you see

01:54:32.880 are the men that fall for it the most do you find them to be young guys boomers millennials

01:54:38.360 i'd say i'd say probably like

01:54:41.440 they're either really young they're sort of the 19 to 25 range or they're the the 40 to to 35 range

01:54:52.860 okay um those are the guys in the 25 to 35 range i think they still get enough of their game and

01:55:00.940 they're kind of like um they've started making money for the first time they've got property

01:55:07.500 they've got some things maybe and they they kind of um i don't want to say it they have the

01:55:12.780 independence and enough stuff to be like no i don't need you um if they go that that that time

01:55:21.580 uh to say like 35 to 40 years old um and they've been divorced or whatever they just become

01:55:29.580 desperate and the tradcon women they're like sharks in a feeding frenzy nowadays it's it's

01:55:36.300 insane so so i would because pearl and i we were talking about this earlier it's there's kind of

01:55:43.580 no in between so a divorced guy either becomes a red pill demon or just gets desperate and just

01:55:50.300 simps all over the place oh yeah and i'll tell you red pill demon works like i've had more women be

01:55:56.540 like oh yeah i teach yoga right so i i i kind of i kind of get a lot of exposure out there

01:56:04.700 and they're like oh well i'm not going to talk to you anymore i'm like fine good go see ya

01:56:10.220 and that that makes them insane they lose their minds they lose their minds it's like

01:56:15.740 if you if you can if you can not simp and not follow after them they'll they'll chase you but

01:56:25.080 uh so you said that there's a there you said that there's a church it's a step daddy pipeline

01:56:32.380 oh yeah absolutely god so so so let's play hypothetical let's say um i'm a a 24 25 year

01:56:43.920 guy who just graduated with a degree in like mechanical engineering or chemistry or something

01:56:51.360 and i'm just starting starting with my career i'm in the church and you see the vultures of

01:56:57.680 the the single mother just hovering around this young guy who has who has a potential

01:57:02.880 what would you say to that young guy run run the single moms the single moms will give it up on

01:57:11.680 the first date and then they will guilt him into like being a father to their child and the simp

01:57:17.840 guys they're done they'll they'll introduce him to the kids like right after they have sex with

01:57:24.400 them just to hook them in and then it's they're they're done i would tell those guys run stop

01:57:31.120 going to church stop going to church or do church online where you're not going to be exposed to uh

01:57:36.480 to this stuff because it's, it's crazy. And the dating apps, you know, when I got divorced,

01:57:44.120 I did the dating apps and, you know, like I said, I'm 60 and I'm in fairly good shape and I,

01:57:51.600 I take care of myself. Um, I would purposely not put a picture up there to just get treated like

01:57:59.100 shit and um see who hung around or who talked and it's it's insane you know i'm not gonna lie uh

01:58:11.340 there are a lot of of women that think way too highly of themselves i showed up on more meetups

01:58:18.780 and saw like a four foot two 500 pound woman get out of a car and just drove away

01:58:29.100 You know, it's sad, but they think they are, I don't know, they think they're entitled to this thing.

01:58:37.900 And I make good money. I have a, I'm retired, you know, I made six figures.

01:58:44.380 I'm, I don't understand the disparity between what women feel they're entitled to and what men think they're entitled to.

01:58:53.660 um men are just desperate and society breeds this simpism if you want to call it that like

01:59:00.980 where they feel like they have to take whatever they can get right if you you know so

01:59:08.560 um yeah any questions or anything no i agree with you i'm like i don't know what to add

01:59:20.740 do you have anything real quick so so what is the most common weapon because i'm still

01:59:26.900 stuck on this church okay to to step daddy pipeline just it's just blowing my mind over

01:59:34.780 here so what is so what are some of the typical tactics that these women use or say i think i

01:59:42.900 think they do the church thing to find the simps and then it's it's sex the single moms will just

01:59:49.300 give it up oh really thank you all it takes for some that's all it takes for a simp i mean think

01:59:56.500 about the things you've talked about you know i was going to say some like intricate intricate

02:00:03.220 plan to like capture capture the guy like wiley coyote trying to get the roadrunner or something

02:00:07.780 but you're saying literally give it up all she has to do is put out oh that's so depressing

02:00:12.660 it is it is you know 304 is a 304 whether you dress up in church clothes or not so

02:00:21.180 yeah yikes

02:00:25.740 well thanks for calling in i appreciate it yeah no thank you

02:00:32.260 yeah go ahead sorry no thank you you're great i love listening to you and i point so many guys

02:00:40.340 in your direction to get clarity so keep doing what you're doing thanks so much thank you you

02:00:48.200 too bye bye tell your 49 year old girlfriend we said hi that's the face that's the face of a man

02:00:56.460 dating someone 10 plus years younger and getting it on the regular yeah they just smile more you

02:01:03.780 know that's that smile right there um let's see we got we can do it's nine o'clock let's do one

02:01:13.520 more caller you want to pick doug mpa i can't see the list oh okay then i guess i'll pick i'll do

02:01:21.420 jim jim uh do the bottom one and see if he

02:01:29.020 jim what's going on man

02:01:34.940 you're muted jim he kind of mute got it how are you i'm doing good nice to meet you nice to meet

02:01:47.440 you so what is your experience dating church women and are you christian i am i am so i used

02:01:55.840 to be a worship leader for 15 years and uh it it has been an interesting uh few years one dating

02:02:03.820 in the church and dating leadership and accompanying the uh the not only the stress but the risk of

02:02:12.500 dating in church and for it to go bad you know such as first dates and uh unfortunately i had

02:02:18.620 the experience of it actually going bad a really bad first date and she had said hey i didn't

02:02:24.620 consent to what we did afterwards even though that was regret and it actually yeah it it forced

02:02:31.360 me out of the church so i went from washington dc so now i live in fort lauderdale and uh i live a

02:02:38.260 much, much more fruitful and full of life now being out of the church and dating out of the

02:02:45.220 church than I did back in D.C. So you guys hooked up after the date and she said she didn't consent.

02:02:54.280 Yeah. Was there on the first date? On the first date. Yeah. Yeah. It was it was like a right away

02:03:01.120 thing or was it like a slow burn kind of thing where she had to think about a couple of days or

02:03:05.160 couple of weeks and then it it was actually it was if you want to share it's fine it's probably

02:03:11.220 really bad but it's cool it was pretty quick it was uh within about 48 hours and i mean this girl

02:03:18.060 invited me back to her place and you know her friends had left to leave us alone and you know

02:03:23.420 i wasn't pushing for anything but afterwards i had realized okay someone in my position like

02:03:30.900 has to be very very careful dating in the church and seeing what that looks like um you know uh

02:03:38.060 on that you know things went relatively negatively you know i tried to handle them the best that i

02:03:43.920 could uh the church actually really defended and stepped up and made sure that i was protected

02:03:49.100 uh you know and also the church was protected as well uh but it really goes to this this was an

02:03:55.720 area that i i didn't i had not seen coming so i would say you know if you're dating in the church

02:04:05.080 and you have a lot of your friends in the church um it's certainly something to think about and

02:04:10.200 possibly even something to talk about you know coming from the male side of the fence so what

02:04:15.480 happened the next like how quickly did she accuse you of that was it like immediately or was like

02:04:22.280 Like, did word get around and she got embarrassed?

02:04:25.600 Or, like, did you tell someone and, like, it went around?

02:04:30.360 Did it, like, divide the church in half or something?

02:04:33.360 I'll tell you what I found personally, and you can tell me if this matches.

02:04:37.160 I found that a lot of times if the guy tells someone,

02:04:40.700 he kind of shoots himself in the foot because women are fueled by their reputation.

02:04:45.480 And so if you make them look bad, you, like, their hell has no fury.

02:04:50.300 not like a woman scorned it's like a woman who looks bad um so was that what happened or what

02:04:57.500 did something else happen so I didn't say anything I mean when I dated her I was 32 33 years old so

02:05:04.580 you know it it it you know it's not in my best interest to go right you know yeah down and tell

02:05:10.660 people uh it it came from her and she says listen I don't consent to what we did can we be friends

02:05:18.220 and you know this was back when i was really involved with cory wright wayne and really

02:05:23.660 involved with red pill how you don't be friends with women and now i believe something totally

02:05:28.620 differently uh however i'm like no we can't really be friends after what we did it's kind

02:05:33.980 of hard to back off and she went crazy really brought up the leadership the entire church got

02:05:40.980 involved and uh yeah i was told you know don't reach out to her let things go let's pull you

02:05:48.220 out of ministry for a while and that was a six month long process and i just had started going in

02:05:54.520 uh back into like uh choir etc at that point i had decided okay you know what maybe maybe

02:06:02.920 washington dc dmv where i grew up is not the place for me and now i am so much happier in the dating

02:06:09.980 seen being down in Fort Lauderdale. What changed? Did you find that women were of better quality

02:06:16.980 when you dated outside of the church? Was it leaving the church period? I think probably

02:06:24.040 the answer to both of those questions is yes. I'm flying down in Fort Lauderdale. There's a lot of

02:06:29.080 lack of commitment. So it's easier for me because I've dated in the church all of my life. And now

02:06:37.420 that i'm out of the church i'm like i gotta learn a whole lot about latina women i gotta learn a

02:06:41.960 whole lot about women in general um because you know they're they don't play down here um you

02:06:47.660 know you have if if your shoes are on the wrong foot or your belt is the wrong color like you're

02:06:53.300 done you know you know the getting your figure right is it's step one of dating them down in

02:06:59.580 church uh fort lauderdale because of how many options both women and men have

02:07:04.120 well they always say you know the red pill it doesn't get you don't swallow it it gets

02:07:11.680 shoved up your behind a lot of times and that's what happened to you man i'm glad you you made

02:07:17.460 it out free and clear man because false accusations are no joke man no no no joke you had to learn the

02:07:23.880 hard way wow yeah i was driving down to dc wondering if i was going to get arrested like

02:07:29.380 you know this girl thought i you know did this girl think that i had you know big art her like

02:07:35.220 what you know which is not what happened at all we both consented to what we did but that's not

02:07:40.100 consent that's regret and you know i i wish her the best i hope you know everything goes goes well

02:07:46.800 on her end um on that side you know um so there's that you know like i've dated on upward i've dated

02:07:54.400 on bumble i've dated on hinge you know they're out in dc there's not there's not a lot of options

02:08:02.240 uh and dc dmv it's really all about getting married um so there's a whole lot of pressure

02:08:08.720 on both sides of the fence um i myself used to be a massive simp uh you know i always believe

02:08:16.320 women when they say oh i'm just this pretty little you know damsel in distress like i used to believe

02:08:21.600 that um i grew up with my dad crying himself to sleep on match.com when dial up was a thing like

02:08:27.600 that's the kind of upbringing that i had around women and i still have a long way to go like down

02:08:32.960 in fort lauderdale i realized a lot of the problem is me and my being scared of women but you know uh

02:08:40.560 you know given off of duh like look what you went through but you know i'm 35 now like i've got to

02:08:45.520 figure it out so what other patterns did you see because you said you were in that church for like

02:08:50.880 12 years or 15 um multiple churches in that church specifically for three years

02:08:56.960 good question so uh one of the big things i noticed is that there uh there there was a lot

02:09:06.000 of focus yes to get married but there was also a lot of private things that go on in the background

02:09:12.080 like there was they say one thing but they really do another thing behind closed doors

02:09:17.280 and me coming from the church side of the fence like hey if i love jesus i love jesus like i'm

02:09:23.680 you know going to stick to that and that comes with hey let's wait for a while or let's wait

02:09:29.280 till marriage a lot of the waiting until marriage stuff like they hit that really hard and i really

02:09:34.800 love what you said earlier uh you know like how much control they exhibit when it comes to sex

02:09:40.720 or the and it comes to affection because it's so it's so disarming to a man when they hear that

02:09:49.200 and it's not typically it's not like hey don't kiss me don't kiss me now not don't kiss me ever

02:09:56.320 you know when you're out on a first date with a girl it's like you haven't really gone through

02:09:59.600 the right steps to get to that point where but when you're dealing with christian women

02:10:04.400 it's like you know it's they they hell sent it you know as far as you know i don't do this until

02:10:11.540 i'm married i don't do that until i'm married when really you do need some of those experience

02:10:16.560 to identify hey are we compatible or is there some things that i need to know before deciding

02:10:23.580 hey i'm going to do this or not what did you see in terms of like the dating culture like did you

02:10:31.520 see women sharing men in church did like you ever see the single mother the pastors you know like

02:10:41.900 what did you see did you see the the church to step daddy pipeline like the last guy said

02:10:48.180 good question so um i i you know i i didn't see a whole lot of single moms um in the the smaller

02:10:58.020 church that i i spent a lot of time with um but there certainly was dating is was still it wasn't

02:11:07.740 really thought out in the church and i don't really think it is as a whole it's it's something

02:11:13.960 that's more of an afterthought and then when stuff bad happens the church is reacting towards them to

02:11:18.720 hopefully fix them you know one of the big things when i was involved deep in the church was like

02:11:23.180 hey I wish someone would teach guys how to do this right so they're not so feminine when they

02:11:28.120 approach women because women are forced to be men nowadays especially in in church and you know I

02:11:35.020 I did I did notice I didn't notice a lot of sharing of men like when you date a girl in

02:11:41.880 the smaller churches you pick one and then after that you can't like talk to another girl for six

02:11:48.340 months or it's typically seen as oh you're a player you're a guy who wants to get around

02:11:53.860 um when the bigger churches what's the hold up if it didn't work you might as well move on

02:11:59.480 like six months like they don't want you to especially especially with the man to

02:12:06.400 with the male the female ratio in the church yeah like how is he gonna get married if he's

02:12:12.140 got two chances a year you got two shots a year yeah yeah that's that that's how it was it was

02:12:20.940 really seen negatively from a social perspective to date around um and the the smaller church i

02:12:27.960 was a part of really instilled the guys asking but you couldn't ask out two girls in the same

02:12:33.520 week because they're all talking to each other right you know and so it was uh dang if i do

02:12:39.920 dang if i don't you know if i pick the wrong girl darn it i'm done for six months and it just got to

02:12:46.160 the point where i'm like why am i trying to do this in the church like what's you know what's

02:12:52.680 really the purpose because i do want and i'm in a long-term relationship single now you know dating

02:12:57.800 around but at the same time i you know i i think the current method on how things are i think things

02:13:04.640 need to be more purposeful and we don't have married couples trying to teach single guys how

02:13:09.940 to date actually teach you know they can't you do you know what these married guys are doing this

02:13:15.840 market they'd be by themselves they have no idea if we don't in in the church we expect they like

02:13:24.240 they're like court her you're like these girls are getting like banged out in college man you

02:13:29.620 can't court these yeah yeah I don't I don't she's got a kid man like sorry go ahead I tried I try

02:13:40.280 to avoid you know as much as I love single moms you know if you have any of those listeners you

02:13:43.960 know I love you but you know it got me in my 30s like I try to avoid that because at the end of the

02:13:50.180 day it is you know the the kid is going to be first and I'm going to be second or third and

02:13:55.880 everything's going to revolve around the kid and you know it's a decision that was made and you

02:14:00.500 know i support it there are guys out there who make great second or third fathers you know support

02:14:05.600 that but at the same time that's not really what i'm looking for you know um i don't know if i want

02:14:10.500 a kid right now but at the same time you know i i shouldn't feel like i have to choose that early on

02:14:16.220 hey yeah yeah i have to um i have to you know say immediately yes i'm okay with a kid in the picture

02:14:24.320 did they ever sum it up and just say it's just not your problem man that's it yeah it's not your

02:14:29.820 problem did they ever try to force like single mothers or subpar women on you where they're like

02:14:35.460 like trying to get you to ask out or date women that you're just like no no no the tactic is now

02:14:43.420 you're getting older now you might have to accept this or you might have to accept that because

02:14:48.120 you're getting older you've heard that before right yeah yeah no i i i was never forced to

02:14:53.480 coerced or or requested to date a specific girl um i've had girls in the church you know set me

02:15:00.060 up with their friends and um sometimes those went well sometimes those you know didn't um you know

02:15:07.720 however you know i i think i think at the end of the day the best thing that you can do is realize

02:15:13.180 when it comes to you know if you don't interact with women and actually 40 of guys today don't

02:15:19.740 interact with women at all they've never approached a girl you know like if you realize

02:15:24.460 you know the awkwardness that some guys may express a lot of that is on you and you have to

02:15:29.660 fix that um if if you realize hey i have to fix that i have to make a decision to do so and you

02:15:35.740 start working on it you know you'll find that holy crap there's no competition at all between a

02:15:42.220 masculine man and a woman out there who wants to be approached especially out here at fort lauderdale

02:15:47.180 like a lot of it is location and also a lot of it is hey confidence um and when i found that

02:15:53.100 out i'm like oh wow i absolutely have to take action here um because i you know i'm getting

02:15:58.540 in my mid-30s you know i may look i may look uh 29 30 right now but that's not gonna last forever

02:16:04.860 it's okay we love a little gray we love the gray and wrinkles you guys got forever

02:16:09.980 um yeah no that that's interesting though the that i i'm sorry to hear about the false accusations

02:16:23.940 too bad but it seems like something good came of it right you seem happier now i i am i am i'm

02:16:30.700 realizing there's a lot of growth that i still need to do on my side of the fence and you know

02:16:36.240 hope she finds solace um because you know at the end of the day i i don't want anybody to go through

02:16:42.400 what i had to go through um you know the the just the torture the turmoil the cell like there's no

02:16:49.600 doubt there's trauma that i'm working through that like where did i go wrong with this girl

02:16:54.800 and trying to date other women for at least a year like i'm scared i you know and it's still a little

02:17:01.520 have been on the back burner being afraid of women um i'm working on but you know at the same time

02:17:06.720 like if i let it affect me the only person that's going to harm is me like you know i i don't want

02:17:13.920 to be eternally watching porn all the time you know i don't think i don't think i deserve that

02:17:18.320 i think i deserve to be around someone who wants you know who wants to express herself just as much

02:17:23.920 as i do uh but at the same time it's uh it is harder for christian men and christian women

02:17:30.560 because of just how high the pressure is all around from social to you know from a religious

02:17:37.380 standpoint how much they pressure their people to hey you you got to do this this is what christian

02:17:42.380 people do yeah yeah do you have a ring camera now i i do i do have a ring camera blink cameras

02:17:51.860 yeah yeah i was like just in case i'm saying you better be filming everything yeah well you can't

02:17:57.940 You can't legally film everything, Todd.

02:18:00.720 In your own house?

02:18:02.140 You can't?

02:18:02.580 No, you can't film sex acts without consent.

02:18:07.040 That's illegal.

02:18:07.720 Well, you know, have them sign an NDA.

02:18:10.520 I don't know.

02:18:11.280 I'm sorry.

02:18:12.580 Have them sign a contractual document each time.

02:18:15.940 Yeah, you can do that.

02:18:16.900 Or if you get a ring camera in the living room leading up, that's not illegal.

02:18:23.120 you know it's hard enough making a woman feel comfortable you know when you're trying to make

02:18:28.960 yourself feel comfortable at the same time and then you just here's an nda yeah yeah good luck

02:18:35.020 you just be like it's like she starts hooking up the living room's like wait

02:18:39.800 because there were these there were these three um football players for some school and they had

02:18:47.400 these two girls back at their house and one of them just tried to say that she had a train ran

02:18:52.280 honor and um that the guys pulled out their phones and were like hey you're you're okay doing this

02:19:00.040 right and the ladies like well why why are you having me do that because our coach said that we

02:19:05.000 need to film girls saying yes before we have sex with them did they do it did yeah and that's what

02:19:11.960 got him out of it oh nice because a girl like a girl that night accused him and they had this

02:19:18.360 phone footage where the girl said i i'm okay with doing this wow yeah but then the coach got in

02:19:25.080 trouble because the guys said that the coach told them to do that so the coach ended up getting

02:19:30.440 fired the guys got off the accusations but then the coach ended up getting fired

02:19:36.520 wow yep wow but you know i'll tell you at the end of this the catfishing is all

02:19:42.760 whether you're in the church you're out of that's everywhere huh it's absolutely everywhere i mean

02:19:50.680 i'll tell you that the the great experiences i actually found personally was through upward

02:19:55.560 you know like i've tried through boo it's nothing but chinese nationals posing as women they found

02:20:01.880 pictures on through instagram um and uh you know hinge for me has been fantastic bumble you know

02:20:11.240 bumble has been pretty good for me too uh tinder i don't mess around with tinder but upward was

02:20:18.600 really really good when i was in dc uh the nova area i had some great experiences on that great

02:20:25.960 great well thanks so much for calling in um you're a great caller so call in any time

02:20:31.240 we'll do we'll do thank you pearl have a great day thank you

02:20:33.720 all right doug mpa any final thoughts on this topic um i just i can't get past the whole if

02:20:46.480 you're 30 to 35 and you pretend to be christian and you're holding a man's a christian standard

02:20:52.460 but you've never been married you don't have any kids it's it's a red flag that's what you know

02:20:57.220 what does saint kevin samuel say you know if you're christian what's your purpose on

02:21:02.060 on this planet you know to be a help meet you know and you haven't been a guy's help meet yet

02:21:06.840 but you're christian are you serious so that's a big red flag for me if a woman's between the

02:21:11.260 age of 30 and 35 and she's never been married she doesn't have any kids yeah yeah i agree with you

02:21:17.440 doug um i think christian women are worse i actually think they're worse because they require

02:21:23.700 morality from the guy and bring no morality to the table where liberal women require no morality

02:21:31.700 on either side there you go all right guys thank you so much for watching the show and thank you

02:21:38.500 doug mpa a pleasure as always um guys go to the audacity network.com if you want to support making

02:21:44.920 us youtube free we are re-monetized but we do get um i was demonetized for a year and a half and so

02:21:50.740 my goal is to get enough people on the website where i'm not as it's a little stressful be and

02:21:57.920 you know also we're going to do a presentation tomorrow on his government work for you so if

02:22:04.760 you want to see that it's going to be live and you're going to be able to ask questions directly

02:22:09.640 to our guest speaker tomorrow it's going to be after our show thank you so much for watching

02:22:13.740 like the video and i will see you guys tomorrow bye

02:22:27.920 Thank you.

02:22:57.920 Thank you.

02:23:27.920 Thank you.

02:23:57.920 Thank you.

02:24:27.920 You

Pearl - April 08, 2025

Christians On Dating Apps (Call-in Show) ｜ Pearl Daily

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